G'day, I'm an American with a lot of time on his hands. I like all sorts of things. I also dislike all sorts of things. That is all.

Likes: Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Vidya games

Dislikes: Monty Python, Mel Brooks, Vidya games

I'm really just making crap up to amuse myself.

Oh, and my name comes from The Reverend Little Ed Pembrook (though I apparently spelled the name wrong. Alas!), a character on an old TV show called WKRP in Cincinnati. Watch it. It's good.

Fanfic really needs some sort of slash filter. Then I can finally stop running across "Snape/Draco/Lucius/Lord Voldemort loves Harry Potter" fics. All of those are, by their mere existence, concrete proof that they are awful, even if they are well written. None of those characters are actually gay. All of them have a female they eventually marry, except Voldeshorts, who's mostly asexual (JK's Cursed Child notwithstanding). I could also read a Star Trek fic without coming across a Kirk/Spock (another case where the hero is paired with a mostly asexual character). And also let me ban more characters. There should never be an instance of a Snape/Draco/Lucius/Lord Voldemort is the hero or part of the main pairing. The villains should remain villains. Then I could also hide Harry/Hermione, because no one seems to be able to do that without making Ron evil, an abuser, or a Death Eater or by making Ginny evil, an abuser, or a slut.

Also, bashing fics should have a filter as well. Molly, Ron, and Ginny are not the epitomes of ultimate evil in the HP universe. Grindelwald and Voldemort are. Dumbledore is also not the true villain of the stories, nor did he send Harry to be brought up as a martyr at the Durselys. Abusive families can cause children to become abusive themselves. It happened with Tom Riddle. It happened with Snape. Harry was more likely to end up like one of these two than the martyr Dumbledore supposedly wanted him to be. Dumbledore sent him there because he thought it best. He also does not do things "FOR THE GREATER GOOD!" For the greater good is a phrase that got his sister killed, his brother estranged from him, and is the phrase his crush (it's never confirmed that he and GG did anything, only that Dumbles fell in love with him, so that seems the most appropriate term to use) used when he went evil and tried to take over the world. That is incentive to not use "FOR THE GREATER GOOD" if I've ever heard any.

I still don't get how Molly gets portrayed as evil. A caring mother who is desperate to hold onto those she loves because her brothers died in the first war would act exactly how she does in the story. Sure, she's possessive and a touch controlling, and she may be a bit of a matchmaker, but that doesn't mean she will instantly try to kill Harry or Hermione because they refused to marry their canon love interests and go along with her plan for "ALL OF US TO BE A PART OF THE SAME FAMILY! WON'T THAT BE FUN?" *Proceeds to chase Harry and Hermione with a cleaver* Honestly, she's one of the only nice people in the series.

Ron is not a coward, traitor, or lacking in personal loyalty. Because of two incidents (across 7 years), there somehow is a belief that Ron is the Pettigrew of the group. Really? Book 1 "Hey friend I made over candy, let me decide to go dueling, fight a troll, smuggle an illegal dragon, stand by you while the whole school hates you for losing so many points in one go (honestly, what was McGonagall thinking?) and try to make you feel better about it, and finally help you navigate through a bunch of magical traps so we can face a man working for someone I am so afraid of that I cower when I hear his name spoken." Yeah, real cowardly and disloyal of him. (Side note, how did the younger generation even know his name if everyone was so afraid to say it for however many years?)

Book 2 "Hey friend, you haven't written to me, so I will convince my brothers to steal my Dad's car as we fly over to rescue you from your prison, then fly that car to Hogwarts, stick by you when everyone thinks you are the Heir of Slytherin that is attacking people, go into the forest to face my greatest fears grown to the size of dogs and elephants, and then face the beast that is feared most by what I fear the most."

Book 3 "Hey friend, let's hang out while you are hunted by one of the most dangerous madmen in all of Wizarding Britain, rumored to be second only to He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in power. Then let me even stand on my broken and savaged leg in an attempt to put myself between him and you."

Book 4 is where the contention starts, naturally. Sure, Ron and Harry have a bit of a spat (FOR A MONTH!), but they're 14 years old. People that age tend to have spats with their friends. Ron thinks Harry is lying to him and continually lying to him, rather than letting him in on the joke. He's disappointed that Harry isn't sharing a secret with him. Only there is no secret, Harry didn't put his name in the Goblet. But Ron didn't know that. We do, because we see Harry's POV, but Ron felt he was being excluded from something that he might have otherwise been included in. If Harry had responded to Ron's fairly logical question of "Why would someone else enter you in the tournament?" with something other than "I dunno," (say, something like "Maybe as a part of the yearly attempt on my life!") the spat might never happened at all. Regardless, once that's over with, Ron is fiercely protective and loyal to Harry once again.

Book 5 actually has Ron be a much better friend than many give him credit for. I certainly wouldn't have been friends (or had an immensely difficult time) with someone whose default emotion was "I'M SUPER ANGRY ALL OF THE TIME AND I MUST SHOUT AT ALL THINGS AND PEOPLE AND PLACES!" And once again, we see Ron very ready and willing to dive headlong into a mess for Harry's sake. He goes to save Harry's godfather.

Book 6 doesn't have much in the way of Harry/Ron interaction, but Ron doesn't kill Harry for dating his little sister. That says a lot about their friendship right there.

And now, everybody's favorite, Book 7. Yes, who is surprised that someone with an impulsive temper could be exceptionally frustrated by being left directionless with a critical mission, while also starving (when you'd never faced hardship like that before), desperately worried about your family (on the front lines of this war), and wearing an evil magic necklace that intensifies negative emotions. Harry had faced that hardship like that before and had no family to worry about. Hermione had nowhere else to go (and her family was kept safe and sent to Australia). So Ron walked away, and almost immediately regretted it and tried to return, but he couldn't find the camp in the time before the Snatchers arrived. At that point, what was he going to do? So he went to Bill's place, where he matured a bit, and finally found his way back to the group.

Ginny's is worse in my opinion. "Hi, I'm Ginny Weasley, and I had 3 boyfriends and the 4th was my eventual husband, yet, for some reason, according to Fanfics, I'm a slut." Neville (Yule Ball), Michael Corner (who she dumped because he was mad her team beat his), Dean Thomas (who she dumped because Dean treated her with kid gloves, as a fragile doll, which she certainly wasn't. At least, that's my interpretation of how she got tired of Dean always trying to "help" her), and then Harry. There's one infamous example where Ginny cheated on Harry on their wedding night. Really? You can't set up any possible explanation for your pairing over the canon one other than "She's a whore"?

It's gotten to the point that I can't read some of the Harry/Hermione (or even the other, rarer pairings) fics because of their blatant character assassination. Here's a hint: Bashing makes your work bad. Really bad. You immediately upset people who are fans of the characters and several of the neutrals who think you're giving them an unfair rap.

Also, Prongslet is awful. Pronglet sounds more natural. Prongs Junior or Little Prongs is probably best.

Also, Draco/Ginny or Hermione is not to be tolerated. No matter if it's the best "Draco turned over a new leaf and is a fantastic boyfriend to Hermione" story, it still cannot be tolerated. Because it's awful.