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Joined 11-12-15, id: 7288663, Profile Updated: 05-27-16
Author has written 14 stories for Harry Potter, and Naruto.


Hi, I'm Spoon. I'm really the idea starter of our pair. I say, "I want to see a fic where . . ." and my much better half usually makes it happen. Or tells me the concept is stupid, in which case I write the fic without his input. I prefer writing the long fics that span three or more chapters per arc, and I like the ones with action, adventure and darkness as opposed to romance or comedy. John, of course, usually takes my ideas and perverts them with at least some of his humor or favored type of darkness but most of it is me.

I know enough about Harry Potter, Naruto, Death Note, Supernatural and Ouran High School Host Club to write fanfiction about them, and I really enjoy making the oddest concepts I can and seeing what John and I can come up with, especially crossovers. I also enjoy taking a non-protagonist or minor/background character, going, "Yeah but what if they're actually . . ." and fiddling with canon. John doesn't like when I do that though, so I don't share writing those fics with him.

I have the dubious talent of being able to sit down and read badfics from start to finish, provided the grammar and spelling is at least marginally legible. I then take whatever most badfics do and do it better or not at all. John is continuously baffled by the fics I find and my willingness to subject myself to that kind of literary torture. I just think it's funny.


Hi, I’m John. I do most of the thinking for our duo. She does act as inspiration by asking for things or wondering what happens if something changes or things like that. My job, sadly, is coming up with fine details. Like how and why. Minor problems, I know, but it does fall to me. I’m also the better writer between us. Here I am strictly referring to the actual craft of writing, never mind the content.

On the other hand, I have serious ADHD and so I will get distracted from projects regularly. That’s why I mostly confine myself to oneshots and short stories that have a chance I’ll finish them before getting bored or having another idea. Hence why I embarked on writing Itachi; I knew it would be short. That's why it's well over a hundred thousand words and I'm not even halfway through the timeline we have planned.

I admit that I am a bit of a fan of stolen eyes in Naruto. I’m not big on suddenly having bloodlines (certain exceptions exist), but many of the stories we write end up having someone stealing some eyes. This is rarely part of our initial plan, but when we realize that someone with a Doujutsu is going to get defeated, well, it’s only reasonable to make use of the loot.

I feel compelled to mention that I have found I grow tired of Dumbledore/Weasley bashing. It's not that there aren't reasons to criticize them--there are plenty of those--it's just that the cliches used in those stories are rather trite and silly. And my ability to believe that Dumbledore is both an evil mastermind and an incompetent buffoon has long since been exhausted (certain rare fics aside. I can think of at least one where he really just made some bad assumptions and was too arrogant to adjust. That's believable). Goodness knows I rag on Ron a bit because I'm not really a fan of him, but I try not to mock him beyond that which is funny. I hope I succeed.

Unlike my other half, I have a somewhat more diverse set of interests. In addition to Harry Potter and Naruto, which cover most of our work because of the overlap, I know Warhammer 40,000, D&D (not that there’s much plot to know), history, Diablo, Starcraft, Warcraft (to a point ending with Wrath of the Lich King), etc. I tend to remember those same fine details I mentioned earlier, like plot and stuff. It means that I’m tasked with anything resembling facts.

To tell the truth, I wouldn’t keep her around, but she’s good at getting my brain started.

John Out.

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Itachi, Is That A Baby? reviews
Petunia performs a bit of accidental magic. It says something about her parenting that Uchiha Itachi is considered a better prospect for raising a child. Young Hari is raised by one of the most infamous nukenin of all time and a cadre of "Uncles" whose cumulative effect is very . . . prominent. And someone had the bright idea to bring him back to England. Merlin help them all.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 102 - Words: 314,960 - Reviews: 8282 - Favs: 12,673 - Follows: 12,899 - Updated: 1/21/2020 - Published: 11/25/2015 - Harry P., Albus D., Itachi U.
Rebirth of a Snake reviews
Twenty-one years after the fall of Voldemort, he returns again and this time, he wins. With no hope and a dying world, they made a ritual that would either send the performer into the past or cause the earth to tear itself apart. Draco figured that either way, they could count it as a win.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 32,483 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 11/17/2019 - Published: 3/26/2016 - Harry P., Hermione G., Draco M., Neville L.
For My Brother reviews
At the last minute, Uchiha Itachi decides he can't torture his brother, so he takes the only option available to him. It's going to take years of therapy to deal with this.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,003 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 1,567 - Follows: 1,790 - Updated: 3/18/2018 - Published: 11/30/2017 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Hinata H.
Blood Is Thicker reviews
Ino meets someone she was never supposed to know existed. Unfortunately, she's a natural. What's worse, she's sane. And it spreads.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,367 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 3/4/2018 - Published: 1/27/2018 - Ino Y., OC
Plucking the Strings Redux reviews
Authorized Posting! A chance encounter early in Naruto's life will irrevocably change the path he takes. His goal is different and so are his methods. The world looks very different with the Puppeteer of Konoha plucking the Strings
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 25,724 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 621 - Follows: 724 - Updated: 10/20/2017 - Published: 12/24/2016
War Crimes reviews
Professor Snape has pretty much despaired of ever teaching a dunderhead like Potter how to occlude his mind properly. Since he *is* on the side of the angels, he offers Harry a lesser option, one less effective but easier to do. Combined with a little sadism on Harry's part and he's lucky that Snape feels obligated to keep him out of prison for war crimes.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,473 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 420 - Follows: 181 - Published: 7/17/2017 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Now Die reviews
Hinata has been living behind a mask all her life, trying to be a good person—trying to be like Uzumaki Naruto. Then Neji pushes her too far during the Chūnin exams and everything begins to unravel.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 22,375 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 1,136 - Follows: 576 - Published: 12/28/2016 - Naruto U., Hinata H., Kisame H. - Complete
Weasleys of the Corn reviews
So it turns out that Ron isn't a cowardly me-tooer, but a dangerous madboy unleashed on an unsuspecting public who are inured to such activities after more than a decade of Weasley insanity. NOT A ONESHOT BUT SPORADIC UPDATES PROBABLY
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,127 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 199 - Published: 6/20/2016 - Harry P., Ron W.
(Only) I Have Rights! reviews
Quirrel: TROLL! Troll in the fic! Thought you ought to know. *thud* A badfic by John as "revenge" on Spoon. ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,572 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 66 - Published: 5/20/2016 - Harry P. - Complete
Make Love Not War reviews
Harry has come up with an interesting way to solve his problems by Christmas of Fifth Year. ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 940 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 99 - Published: 3/29/2016 - Harry P., Sirius B., Voldemort - Complete
What Are You Doing? (Youth!) reviews
When Tsunade is told by the Council that Naruto will never be Hokage, things start to spiral horribly out of control. ONESHOT
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,034 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 2,258 - Follows: 768 - Published: 1/1/2016 - Naruto U., Kakashi H., Jiraiya, Tsunade S. - Complete
How Moody Got His Eye reviews
The real story of how Moody got his magical eye. ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,189 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 66 - Published: 12/12/2015 - Alastor M. - Complete
Haridan the Cautious reviews
With all three of his opponents dead before the Third Task, Harry decides to take a novel approach to a dangerous situation facing him: caution. Incidentally, this will allow him to get a little bit of revenge on everyone at the same time. Plus, he really needs to finish his Potions essay. ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,714 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 1,376 - Follows: 478 - Published: 11/17/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G., Albus D. - Complete
What Was Your Plan? reviews
Harry has just begun his showdown with Evil!Dumbledore. Having shouted the various crimes perpetrated against him, he is unprepared for how the rest of the confrontation goes. ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,873 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 723 - Follows: 248 - Published: 11/13/2015 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete