AndrewWolfe
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Joined 12-02-15, id: 7336118, Profile Updated: 09-21-20
Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.

Retired lawyer with actual professional skills in sarcasm, bullshit, and verbal juggling.

My views on the Oxford Comma should be obvious from the foregoing.

Long time fanfiction reader: Harry Potter and the occasional other fandom.

Be advised: I'm writing because I wanted to have a blast just writing without an editor breathing down my neck. I'm definitely not trying to be in any way cool or original or uplifting or to Make Art. This is me having fun by myself and feelin' beholden t' no bugger.

I try to maintain a buffer of unpublished work and an every-other-Friday posting schedule. No guarantees: hobbies are the first thing to go by the board in the event of pressure.

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The Black Family's PR Nightmare by elphabalives17 reviews
Cassiopeia Black may prefer research to family politics, but she refuses to allow her family name to be ruined after the events of fall 1981. With the help of a routine obsessed house elf, Cassiopeia sets out to spin the Black family's largest PR nightmare in 100 years with a lot of old magic, some luck, and her Squib brother's family... the Grangers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 162,010 - Reviews: 1986 - Favs: 1,971 - Follows: 3,220 - Updated: 5/3 - Published: 7/15/2020 - Harry P., Hermione G., Blaise Z., Cassiopeia B.
Harry & the Mysterious Curse of the Girl-Who-Lived by Lord Jeram reviews
Harry always knew that there was something unique about him. In a way, the arrival of the Hogwarts acceptance letters was almost expected... except, why are they all addressed to 'Harriet Potter?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 231,371 - Reviews: 1198 - Favs: 2,494 - Follows: 3,293 - Updated: 2/9 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Harry P.
I Aim to Misbehave by White Squirrel reviews
Harry Potter escapes from Earth-That-Was via magitech, but goes missing. When he is finally unfrozen in the 26th century, he faces a new oppressive regime in the form of the Alliance while he tries to find the lost magical community in the Verse. Epilogue-compliant, No Power in the 'Verse-compliant.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Firefly - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,912 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 845 - Follows: 1,365 - Updated: 10/18/2020 - Published: 4/5/2017 - Harry P., River
Sympathetic Properties by Mr Norrell reviews
Having been treated as a servant his entire life, Harry is more sympathetic when Dobby arrives, avoiding Vernon's wrath and gaining a bit of freedom. That freedom changes his summer, his life, and the world forever. A very long character-driven story that likes to play with canon.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 46 - Words: 631,740 - Reviews: 3846 - Favs: 5,539 - Follows: 7,240 - Updated: 8/2/2020 - Published: 12/24/2014 - [Harry P., Hermione G.]
Echoes by BlackDeviouseRose reviews
What use is knowledge of the future when she can't bring herself to care? She owed this world nothing - this story would continue without her. Death took a chance, gambled on the wrong soul, and now she has to pay for it. No one ever said the Wizarding World would be all fun and games. Semi-Realistic SI/OC
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 71,665 - Reviews: 556 - Favs: 1,526 - Follows: 1,978 - Updated: 7/22/2020 - Published: 1/31/2016 - OC
Whiskey Time Travel by Sapper One reviews
When Unspeakable Harry Potter wakes up in 1978, he determines he's either A: In the past. Or B: In a mental hospital. At least the firewhiskey still tastes the same. Waiting tables at the Three Broomsticks, drunken death eater bar fights, annoying an attractive but pushy auror, and avoiding his mother's crush on him is just another day in the life of Harry Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 32,948 - Reviews: 2069 - Favs: 11,791 - Follows: 14,721 - Updated: 6/26/2020 - Published: 5/7/2015 - Harry P., Amelia B., Rosmerta, Nicolas F.
The Perils of Innocence by avidbeader reviews
AU. In an institute to help children with psychological issues, a child is abandoned by his guardians because he does extraordinary things. Rather than fear him, the doctors work to help him try to control this ability. They discover other children with these incredible powers. And then odd letters arrive one summer day. Rating will probably go up later. Eventual H/Hr.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 101,526 - Reviews: 3851 - Favs: 7,735 - Follows: 10,160 - Updated: 4/6/2020 - Published: 8/14/2012 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Potter Who and the Wossname's Thingummy by ForrestUUID reviews
No TARDIS, no screwdriver, and no memory — on the plus side, an owl and a wand! May or may not be AU. "It's all in the mind, you know."
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 40 - Words: 226,568 - Reviews: 841 - Favs: 1,515 - Follows: 1,537 - Updated: 10/31/2019 - Published: 8/31/2012 - 11th Doctor, Harry P.
The Stowaway by ironcheforegon reviews
A mysterious green-eyed stowaway is discovered aboard a cruise ship. Why is he there? Where is he going? A sweet, romantic short story set several years after Hogwarts. First person story told from the point of view of an outsider. H/Hr NOTE: Originally published on Portkey in 2010. Updated for 2019 with extra material missing from the original now finally included.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,914 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 10/19/2019 - Published: 10/14/2019 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Shinji and Warhammer40k by Charles Bhepin reviews
Shinji Ikari finds a boxful of insanity and becomes even more unhinged than before. Somehow, this is A Good Thing. As the grim dark future melts into stark bleak present, upon a throne of tropes humanity might find the savior it so requires. [story RESUMING]
Crossover - Evangelion & Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 791,067 - Reviews: 2042 - Favs: 3,607 - Follows: 2,782 - Updated: 3/1/2019 - Published: 11/11/2007
Wandmaking by Right What Is Wrong reviews
Few wonder. None guess. [Darkfic. Oneshot. Rated M for a reason.]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,159 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 46 - Published: 11/6/2018 - G. Ollivander - Complete
Minor Incident, 1982 by Right What Is Wrong reviews
The magical section of the Albanian Secret Police handles an unimportant disturbance in a forest nearby the village of [REDACTED].
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 225 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 41 - Published: 10/28/2018 - Voldemort - Complete
Harry Potter and the Marriage Law by ZebJeb reviews
After Voldemort's defeat, a new Marriage Law is put forth to increase the population. Harry expresses his extreme dismay with this development. ONE SHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,553 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 409 - Follows: 171 - Published: 10/20/2018 - Harry P., Kingsley S. - Complete
Blindness by AngelaStarCat reviews
Harry Potter is not standing up in his crib when the Killing Curse strikes him, and the cursed scar has far more terrible consequences. But some souls will not be broken by horrible circumstance. Some people won't let the world drag them down. Strong men rise from such beginnings, and powerful gifts can be gained in terrible curses. (HP/HG, Scientist!Harry)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 324,281 - Reviews: 5552 - Favs: 16,331 - Follows: 14,646 - Updated: 9/25/2018 - Published: 1/1/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
The Red Knight by Demon Eyes Laharl reviews
When Ron Weasley realized he was reborn to the world with his memories mostly intact, he felt it was a second chance to do better. However, he slowly realizes that this world was different from his own. Making new friends and earning new enemies, he has to use his experience from his previous life not only to reach his goals, but also to survive. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 47 - Words: 201,919 - Reviews: 2224 - Favs: 3,495 - Follows: 4,248 - Updated: 6/3/2018 - Published: 9/9/2016 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Daphne G.
Things you cannot leave behind by YakAge reviews
...and finally it was done! But what the public saw as the glorious day of Britain's liberation from the yoke of the Dark Lord turned out to be nothing more than one more funeral for Harry – a few more friends he had to lay to rest. This time, however, there weren't any left to accompany him. Just where had he gone wrong...? Tragedy, Hurt, Romance...Time-Travel? OneShot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 21,313 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 590 - Follows: 236 - Published: 5/12/2018 - Harry P., Demelza R., Astoria G., Daphne G. - Complete
Dumbledore's Secret by jukehero461 reviews
When Harry lands in Dumbledore's office after that battle in the Department of Mysteries, he is furious at the headmaster. Dumbledore, for once, decides to do what is right, and not what is easy, and reveals his secret to the young teen. A short idea of an alternate meeting. No bashing. Read and Review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,543 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 342 - Follows: 114 - Published: 4/16/2018 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
Not even a first chance! by senawario reviews
(alt title: Disproportionate response). Give the death-eaters a second chance? No way, not even a *first* chance! This is a "redo" fic with a twist. The pairing will eventually be Harmony but a good part of the story happens when they are too young so hard-core Harmonians need to be patient. Rated M for possible violence in later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 53 - Words: 186,994 - Reviews: 1173 - Favs: 2,177 - Follows: 1,968 - Updated: 10/31/2017 - Published: 2/11/2016 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] Dobby - Complete
The Adventures Of Harry Potter, the Video Game: Exploited by michaelsuave reviews
Harry Potter catches Voldemort's AK to the noggin only to find out that his life is a video game and he forgot to save. So what does he do? Does he return on Hard mode and work for the challenge? Heck No! Harry uses every exploit, grind, or underhanded tactic he can get his hands on. His life may be a video game, but nobody plays Harry Potter. HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 101,061 - Reviews: 4300 - Favs: 11,659 - Follows: 13,762 - Updated: 9/3/2017 - Published: 9/22/2013 - Harry P.
Applied Cultural Anthropology, or by jacobk reviews
... How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Cruciatus. Albus Dumbledore always worried about the parallels between Harry Potter and Tom Riddle. But let's be honest, Harry never really had the drive to be the next dark lord. Of course, things may have turned out quite differently if one of the other muggle-raised Gryffindors wound up in Slytherin instead.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 168,240 - Reviews: 3568 - Favs: 6,681 - Follows: 8,212 - Updated: 8/31/2017 - Published: 4/26/2013 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Choice of Words by Deathcrow reviews
What if the confrontation with the locket Horcrux in the Forest of Dean had played out differently than in canon? Can a small change in circumstances change the fate of the world?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,825 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 41 - Published: 7/25/2017 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
The Desk of Requirement by senawario reviews
This fic was "inspired" by reading a completely pointless fic where Remus and Sirius read the epilogue, and basically just smile and grin to themselves, happy that Harry is alive and well and all that. They don't actually **do** anything. As I said, pointless. So I decided to xkcd 386 that one-shot ;-)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,898 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 133 - Published: 7/18/2017 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] Sirius B. - Complete
Another Day in the Life of Potter-Redux by Nemesis13 reviews
Harry's troubled life is further complicated when his sex is changed due to a shoddy potion and a rebounding blood seal, she is the only one not surprised at this turn of events, blasted Potter luck. Now known as Lilly follow her as she embraces her new found freedom and powers as she and her friends toy with the world, for she solemnly swears she is up to no good. A rewrite.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 59,807 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 1,594 - Follows: 2,031 - Updated: 5/3/2017 - Published: 11/22/2015 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] Sirius B., Bellatrix L.
The Mountains of the Moon by White Squirrel reviews
Hermione comes up with a contingency plan for Harry's Ministry hearing, and they decide their education can be better pursued elsewhere—at the largest and oldest school of magic in the world: Uagadou. Voldemort won't know what hit him. Harry/Hermione.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,511 - Reviews: 360 - Favs: 1,964 - Follows: 2,268 - Updated: 1/8/2017 - Published: 1/3/2017 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
When Fate Intervened by LordVishnu reviews
My first attempt at writing. When Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire Dumbledore gives him a choice. Either participate in the tournament or lose his magic and leave Hogwarts. The Headmaster would never have guessed that Harry would lash out angrily and choose the latter. Minor Ron and Dumbledore bashing at the start. Wizarding War on a quicker timescale than in canon.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 129,893 - Reviews: 1800 - Favs: 6,573 - Follows: 4,617 - Updated: 12/1/2016 - Published: 5/20/2016 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Mary Potter 1: the Call to Adventure by LeighaGreene reviews
Fem!Slytherin!Harry (Mary); realistic!Dursleys; consistent!Professors; mature!Snape; follows the books VERY closely, especially the first three chapters or so (but with 50% more snark). See first chapter for preface. Most chapters K-rated, T for language, several sections from Snape's perspective are T. Later books may be M-rated. McG first contact/guardian. PM for pdf.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 141,239 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 353 - Updated: 8/29/2016 - Published: 8/9/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G., L. Moon - Complete
Petrification Proliferation by White Squirrel reviews
What would have been the appropriate response to a creature that can kill with a look being set loose in the only magical school in Britain? It would have been a lot more than a pat on the head from Dumbledore and a mug of hot cocoa.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 34,020 - Reviews: 1212 - Favs: 6,874 - Follows: 5,146 - Updated: 5/29/2016 - Published: 5/22/2015 - Harry P., Amelia B. - Complete
The Sum of Their Parts by holdmybeer reviews
For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would become a Dark Lord. For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would take down the Ministry or die trying. He should have known that Hermione and Ron wouldn't let him do it alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 143,267 - Reviews: 1076 - Favs: 6,122 - Follows: 2,648 - Updated: 4/12/2016 - Published: 3/24/2016 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., George W. - Complete
0800-Rent-A-Hero by brainthief reviews
Magic can solve all the Wizarding World's problems. What's that? A prophecy that insists on a person? Things not quite going your way? I know, lets use this here ritual to summon another! It'll be great! - An eighteen year old Harry is called upon to deal with another dimension's irksome Dark Lord issue. This displeases him. EWE - AU HBP
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 159,580 - Reviews: 3889 - Favs: 11,550 - Follows: 13,296 - Updated: 12/24/2015 - Published: 4/4/2015 - Harry P.
The Prisoner's Cipher by Ecthelion3 reviews
AU. Years after his defeat of Voldemort, Harry Potter remains a willing and secret prisoner of the Ministry, but not all is what it seems. Harry has a plan, and the world will never be the same.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 69,457 - Reviews: 620 - Favs: 2,896 - Follows: 2,310 - Updated: 8/15/2015 - Published: 8/21/2011 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Favorite Things by Stanrick reviews
When a young green-eyed wizard and a minimally older brown-eyed witch, the best of friends for years, discover their mutual fondness for one particular armchair in front of one particular fireplace, it can inevitably mean one thing and one thing only: War. And then also – eventually, potentially – something else. Maybe. But first it's definitely war.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 22,110 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 1,134 - Follows: 362 - Updated: 6/21/2015 - Published: 6/16/2015 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Digging for the Bones by paganaidd reviews
Because of a student death, new measures are being taken to screen students for abuse. With Dumbledore facing an enquiry, Snape is in charge of making sure every student receives an examination. Abused!Harry. Character death. Sevitis. In answer to the "New Measures for Screening Abuse" challenge at Potions and Snitches. Yes, it is a "Snape is Harry's biological father" story.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 62 - Words: 212,292 - Reviews: 6560 - Favs: 11,318 - Follows: 8,690 - Updated: 11/27/2014 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Too Many Travellers by Inusitatus reviews
Harry letting himself get hit by Voldemort's killing curse had slightly different results in this particular AU!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,468 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 1,339 - Follows: 438 - Published: 11/11/2014 - Complete
Princess of the Blacks by Silently Watches reviews
First in the Black Queen series. Sirius searches for his goddaughter and finds her in one of the least expected and worst possible locations and lifestyles. How was he to know just how many problems bringing her home would cause? DARK and NOT for children. fem!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 35 - Words: 189,338 - Reviews: 2271 - Favs: 6,331 - Follows: 3,960 - Updated: 12/18/2013 - Published: 6/19/2012 - Harry P., Luna L., Viktor K., Cedric D. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Temporal Beacon by willyolioleo reviews
At the end of 3rd year, Hermione asks Harry for some help with starting an interesting project. If a dark lord's got a 50-year head start on you, maybe what you need is a little more time to even the playing field. AU, Timetravel, HHr, mild Ron bashing. Minimizing new powers, just making good use of existing ones.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 70 - Words: 428,826 - Reviews: 5685 - Favs: 6,624 - Follows: 7,117 - Updated: 9/19/2013 - Published: 11/30/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G.
A Matter of House by Emerald Ashes reviews
In which Bellatrix Black and Molly Prewett were sorted into Hufflepuff, and the world changed ever-so-slightly.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,346 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 879 - Follows: 265 - Updated: 8/13/2013 - Published: 7/16/2013 - Bellatrix L., Molly W. - Complete
Reunion by Rorschach's Blot reviews
It all starts with Hogwarts' Class Reunion.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 61,134 - Reviews: 1948 - Favs: 6,870 - Follows: 4,309 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 11/14/2008 - Complete
Inquisitor Carrow and the GodEmperorless Heathens by littlewhitecat reviews
The Wizarding World is devastated when Harry Potter disappears from his relatives' house in mysterious circumstances during the summer after his first year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Desperate to have their boy-hero back no matter what they really should have heeded the Muggle saying "be careful what you wish for". Crossover HP/WH40K.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Warhammer - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 55,611 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 2,393 - Follows: 1,276 - Updated: 10/26/2012 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
Silly Ruler Waving by Horace Nihil reviews
Hermione Granger is fifteen, sixteen in a few weeks. She has this summer job in the local library she loves, but something is amiss. Why does she spend so much time waving things, like this ruler, in such a silly way ?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 89,883 - Reviews: 442 - Favs: 886 - Follows: 632 - Updated: 6/22/2012 - Published: 1/1/2011 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Jamie Evans and Fate's Fool by The Mad Mad Reviewer reviews
Harry Potter stepped back in time with enough plans to deal with just about everything fate could throw at him. He forgot one problem: He's fate's chewtoy. Mentions of rape, sex, unholy vengeance, and venomous squirrels. Reposted after takedown!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 77,208 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 4,201 - Follows: 1,677 - Published: 6/2/2012 - [Harry P., N. Tonks] - Complete
Lessons With Hagrid by NothingPretentious reviews
"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?" ...Snape kicks Harry out of 'Remedial Potions', but as we know from The Philosopher's Stone, there is another Occlumens in the school good enough to keep out the Dark Lord. Stupid oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,357 - Reviews: 684 - Favs: 4,654 - Follows: 1,007 - Published: 10/31/2011 - Rubeus H. - Complete
Old Soldiers Never Die by Drauchenfyre reviews
Following his recovery of the Ring Horcrux, Albus Dumbledore visits an old friend for advice...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,197 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 18 - Published: 3/7/2011 - Albus D., Gellert G. - Complete
Holly Evans and the Spiral Path by wordhammer reviews
Holly is prickly and poisonous like her namesake, only with Hermione she's more normal. Dark and disturbing Girl!Harry tells her story via an enchanted journal.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 50 - Words: 405,903 - Reviews: 812 - Favs: 1,166 - Follows: 712 - Updated: 2/8/2011 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G., N. Tonks - Complete
Realizations by Wishweaver reviews
Harry returns to Privet Drive after 4th year and finds it...empty! What do you do when you can't go to your friends for help? Additional Story Notes FYI: a. AU Summer before Fifth Year Fic, b. Not particularly fast paced.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 264,047 - Reviews: 9092 - Favs: 13,856 - Follows: 10,633 - Updated: 11/16/2010 - Published: 3/6/2003 - Harry P.
Time is the Fire by Oddment Tweak reviews
What would you do if the only way to save the person you loved was to sacrifice everything else that you held dear? DH-Epilogue compliant, sort of. Some HP/GW and RW/Hr, but ultimately, epically, HP/Hr.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 97,317 - Reviews: 698 - Favs: 1,955 - Follows: 577 - Updated: 7/7/2010 - Published: 6/7/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Oh God Not Again! by Sarah1281 reviews
So maybe everything didn't work out perfectly for Harry. Still, most of his friends survived, he'd gotten married, and was about to become a father. If only he'd have stayed away from the Veil, he wouldn't have had to go back and do everything AGAIN.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 50 - Words: 162,639 - Reviews: 15494 - Favs: 25,394 - Follows: 10,508 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Marriage in Mind by Lady Azar de Tameran reviews
One Shot. AU. A marriage contract. They want him to sign away his freedom and his future and his life on a girl who didn't even attend her best friend's funeral. Harry has other ideas.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,023 - Reviews: 360 - Favs: 3,634 - Follows: 871 - Published: 7/8/2009 - Harry P., Luna L. - Complete
Measure for Measure by Ludwig Mies van der Rohe reviews
Fornicate with the universe.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Spiritual - Chapters: 19 - Words: 84,716 - Reviews: 674 - Favs: 1,854 - Follows: 1,941 - Updated: 3/28/2009 - Published: 7/20/2008 - Harry P., Daphne G., Katie B., Astoria G.
Strawberry Fields by Minstrel Knight reviews
A hypothetical AU in which a most unlikely person removes a baby Harry from Privet Drive and leaves him with the Grangers, along with seven popular children's books. HarryGinny.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,879 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 442 - Follows: 99 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Blissful Amnesia by Swordchucks reviews
Chapter 1: "Whatever I’d done, it apparently warranted a savage beating from an oddly colored sea mammal. I don’t recall what it was, of course, seeing as I’ve already said that this is my first memory." Amnesia. Harry/Fleur. Pre-book 1.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,572 - Reviews: 468 - Favs: 1,137 - Follows: 1,404 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 4/30/2008 - Harry P., Fleur D.
The Poker Game by Enterprise1701-d reviews
Draco organizes a no-holds-barred poker game. Harry decides to compete... just a little fun fic co-written by Joshua. I might or might not write more on this.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 123,923 - Reviews: 702 - Favs: 4,281 - Follows: 1,959 - Updated: 7/6/2008 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Wish Carefully by Ten Toes reviews
REVISED. one-shot told by Lucius Malfoy. What might happen if the Death Eaters got what they wished for…
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,964 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 3,531 - Follows: 855 - Published: 6/28/2008 - Lucius M. - Complete
The Wise One: Book One: Becoming by FarenMaddox reviews
When Sirius Black escapes Azkaban and 8-year-old Harry Potter disappears, the world is thrown into upheaval. What will Britain and Harry be without each other, and who will face the Dark? You only THINK you've read this before. I guarantee you haven't.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 99,300 - Reviews: 1457 - Favs: 3,269 - Follows: 1,606 - Updated: 6/28/2008 - Published: 2/9/2008 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Just a Random Tuesday… by Twisted Biscuit reviews
A VERY long Tuesday in the life of Minerva McGonagall. With rampant Umbridgeitis, uncooperative Slytherins, Ministry interventions, an absent Dumbledore and a schoolwide shortage of Hot Cocoa, it’s a wonder she’s as nice as she is.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 58,525 - Reviews: 536 - Favs: 2,547 - Follows: 497 - Updated: 10/1/2006 - Published: 8/26/2006 - Minerva M., Dolores U. - Complete
The Girl Nobody Knows A Soliloquy by Technomad reviews
What if Hermione Granger wasn't Nice at all? This is the POV of a NotNice Hermione on the events of the first five books.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 20,538 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 432 - Follows: 127 - Published: 6/15/2005 - Hermione G. - Complete
Don't Panic! by boz4PM reviews
Penny is panicking. Where is she? How did she get here? How is she going to get home and whose backside will she kick first when she does? A woman lost in Middle Earth wearing only her pyjamas. This can't be good... (STRONG language; NOT a M-Sue)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 136,860 - Reviews: 1397 - Favs: 2,630 - Follows: 609 - Updated: 3/27/2004 - Published: 1/17/2004
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No Fate reviews
1995: Harry Potter tells the Minister where to stick his underage magic trial. That's the last the wizarding world hears of him. 2004: Corporal Harry Potter, RLC, is trying to have a quiet drink...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 84,659 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 906 - Follows: 1,474 - Updated: 12/31/2020 - Published: 9/11/2020 - Harry P., Hermione G., Molly W., Dobby
Ghost of Privet Drive reviews
"Fix it" said the Fates. "Fix what? With what tools and skills?" I asked. Being dead was only the first of the obstacles. And then I found myself in an understairs cupboard listening to a little boy quietly sobbing. Oh. Fix THAT. In which a sarcastic old git is dropped into the awful childhood of Harry Potter. SI-ish. Rated M for foul language and canon-level abuse.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 265,957 - Reviews: 753 - Favs: 2,602 - Follows: 2,653 - Updated: 8/28/2020 - Published: 11/19/2019 - Harry P., Petunia D., Vernon D., OC - Complete