Author has written 4 stories for Lord of the Rings, and Avengers. Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo. [Please feel free to leave actual reviews on my stories! I would honestly love to know how all of you wonderful readers think about them, things that you like and I should continue to do, and things that could be done to make them even better! Thanks, darlings!] "Books give a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything." SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN AUTHOR: 1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written. [Or one you've heard.] 2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters' names. [And then panic.] 3. You often imagine your books becoming movies. [24/7. But they'd better be accurate.] 4. Spell check is your best friend. [Lies. When one writes in Sindarin, things change.] 5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background. [He's not important. So, let's make you emotionally attached to him before I kill him off in Chapter 7.] 6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favorite characters. [It is not death of a man, but of an idea, and that makes it all the more painful to bear.] 7. You smile really big when your gonna finally write a character love scene. [But not creepily. We writers have class. We smile mishievously.] 8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing. [Preach it, brothers and sisters.] 9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym. [In Which I Wage War on the Dictionary-And Other Depressing Stories] 10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long. [You underestimate my power.] 11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence. [Really way me too like last holy falafel and fries.] 12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written. [Well, see, I've got this idea.../2 Hours Later/] 13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better. [But Copyright, dang Copyright laws!] 14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself. [Welcome to the Writing Club, aka Mental Case Center.] 15. You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time. [Mmm, to troo. Ah, their we go agen.] 16. If your not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly. [We must be demigods. We're already pretty darn cool.] 17. You talk to yourself... constantly. [You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you. Not listening. I'm not listening. You're a liar and a thief. No. Murderer. Go away. Go away? I hate you. I hate you. THEY STOLES IT FROM US, NASTY THIEVING HOBBITSES! THEY STOLES THE PRECIOUS!] 18. You forget what day it is when your writing. [No. The fact just no longer becomes imortant.] 19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away. [All. The. Time.] 20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc. [I'm all good with using nice words like 'etc'.] 21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end. [And also when reading. The time of the Elves is over.] 22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it. [No, but I feel horrible and ghastly for the next few days. 23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas. [Until I run out of ideas or until my pee runs down my leg, here I shall stay.] 24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending. *yanks out computer] 25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story. [Heheh, let's annoy everyone in our presence!] 26. You are in love with the Thesaurus. [The Thesaurus has always been my favorite kind of dinosaur.] 27. You dream about your stories. [And they always come out wrong.] 28. You dream of new stories. [And mourn the time you lack to create them.] 29. You often revisit some of your old stories. [Sweet honey lord, what rubbish is this that mine eyes do behold?] 30. You often have to write something a few times before you finally like it. [Yay, done! Nope, gotta fix that. And that. Man, and that, too.] 30. If you failed English 101. [This is not grammar. This is cruel and unusual punishment, which is by American Law unconstitutional.] 31. Your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason. [They know my twisted ways.] 32. You think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason. [I have already done said giggling at least seven times.] 33. You start constantly talking in third person, past tense. [They had no idea that she was a psychopath. And she wasn't. She was a high-functioning sociopath, and demanded the idiots do their research.] 34. People think you might have A.D.D. 35. You think it’d be cool to have A.D.D. 36. The letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard. 37. No matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper. 38. When replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether. 39. Your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random. 40. People start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet. 41. You live off of sugar and caffeine. 42. After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’ [Make me some more cookies, peasant! I require sustanence] 43. When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. [It's really awkward when trying to get the proper reactions in romantic scenes. Trust me.] 44. You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. [Shut up! What? We weren't talking to you.] 45. You talk to yourself a lot. [No we don't, Preciousss. Yes, yes we do. Stop lying to us.] 46. You check your profile every ten minutes. [I felt a great disturbance in the Force...as if millions of people visited my profile...and were suddenly silenced.] 47. You no longer refer to comments as "comments." They are now known only as "reviews." [Judge me like Judy, mate. Kindness = Lies] 48. Pens are for idiots, and you wouldn't be caught dead with one. How on earth are you supposed to erase when you want to rewrite? [Except for science labs, which are the bane of my existence for that reason alone.] 49. You start laughing at the most inopportune times because you remembered something funny from a fanfic. [AHAHAHEHEHEEEE! Shoot, still in math. Righto.] 50. You pretend to take notes, but really you're getting a head start on your latest ficlet. [Everything is an illusion.] 51. Short disclaimers are for losers. Whoever thinks up the craziest (or goriest O.O) gets a cookie. [TWO cookies. Remember to keep the stakes high if you want blood to be drawn.] 52. You can't write for English class because you've used up all your ideas for fanfiction. [I worry about plagiarizing myself.] 53. A story idea isn't a story idea. It's a plot bunny. [The Easter Bunny has gained new meaning in my life.] 54. You hear people talking about a ship (the water variety), and you jump, like, five feet in the air and act like you've never heard the word used outside of the fanfiction context. [We're on the same boat, I see. What's it called again? The Titanic? Aw, poo. *And I will go down with this ship. I won't put my hands up and surrender. There will be no white flags above my door...I'm in love...and I always will be...] 55. Whenever something inspiring happens, you screech, "Ooh! Fanfic idea!" and then immerse yourself in writing for the next three hours. (or all night. who sleeps?) [Sleep? Sleep is for the weak.] 57. You repost this onto your profile! :) [Mission accomplished.] 58. You missed that there was no 56. [Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.] 59. You just looked back up to see if there really is no 56. [Counting by odd twos is a great pastime.] 60. You're now smiling. [Smirking, actually. Hehehe...] "YOU SHOULDN'T BE SORRY, DARLING." I'm sorry that I bought you those roses to tell you that I liked you. I'm sorry that I was raised with respect not to sleep with you when you were drunk. I'm sorry that my body's not ripped enough to "satisfy" your wants. 'Ripped' is 'torn' in my book. I'm sorry that I opened your car door, and pulled out your chair like I was raised. I'm sorry that I'm not cute enough to be "your guy". I'm sorry that I am actually nice; not a jerk. It would make things easier. I'm sorry I don't have a huge bank account to buy you expensive things. I only have a big heart. I'm sorry I like to spend quality nights at home cuddling with you, instead of at a club. I'm sorry I would rather make love to you then just screw you like some random guy. I'm sorry that I am always the one you say you need to talk to, but you've never kept that promise. I'm sorry that I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car, but when we went out you went home with another guy. I'm sorry that I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere, but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend. I'm sorry if I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around. I'm sorry if I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work. I'm sorry that you can't realize...I've been there for you all along. I'm sorry If you read this and know somebody like this but don't care. But most of all... I'm sorry for not being sorry anymore. I'm done with being 'sorry'. I'm not sorry that you can't accept me for who I am, who I've always been. I'm not sorry I can 'never do anything right', and nothing that I do is 'good enough' to make it in your world. I'm done with this apologizing, apologizing for things that shouldn't have been apologized in the first place. I now apologize to myself, for wasting my time. I'm not sorry I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for... I'm sorry that I told you I loved you and actually meant it. I meant it. I've always meant it, and you see the fool I am. For believing that lie. I'm sorry That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family. I'm not sorry that I cared. I was raised to care, to love. I just...cared too much to let go. And now I have. I'm sorry that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as "I'm not Sorry Anymore." If you're one of the girls with enough guts to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as "You Shouldn't be Sorry, Darling". Month One: Mommy, Month Two: Mommy, Month Three: You know what, Mommy? Month Four: Mommy, Month Five: You went to the doctor today. Month Six: I can hear that doctor again. Month Seven: Mommy, Every Abortion Is Just . . . One more heart that was stopped... Two more eyes that will never see... Two more hands that will never touch... Two more legs that will never run... One more mouth that will never speak... SOME FAVORITE QUOTES: |
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