Author has written 22 stories for Aliens/Predator, Misc. Plays/Musicals, Les Miserables, Charles Dickens, Invader Zim, Bartimaeus Trilogy, Edward Scissorhands, and Snatch.
So. You're wondering what the hell I'm doing here.
Or maybe not.
But anyway...I'm here to supply you with something to do between meals and jerking off. Hopefully I do that sucessfully and with a touch of grace. If not, well...concrit is always accepted and wanted.
And to those who might be thinking "Hey, these fics look vaguely familiar, but not the name", then you probably knew me as Paroxysmal Lupine. Changed the name, yo.
I'm also here to destroy this inbreed known as 'bandfiction' that has crawled up onto ff.net. These are, at a most basic level, wetdreams about various members of emo boy bands (usually Fall Out Boy) that are posted in the muiscals section. Bands are not musicals. Musicals are works of art which can take years to compose. FOB is a group of men in tight pants and eyeliner. They are not equal.
Take your bandfics elsewhere.
who the hell are you?
I go to highschool. I write, I act, I sing, I draw.
I attempt to drive.
I also enjoy buying neon-colored eye liner from Hot Topic.
I love Les Mis. Montparnasse is a sexy beast. Sweeney Todd also lays down quite a bit of smack.
If you notice, my writing style (and reviewing style) had changed quite a bit in my few years here. I'm not a hyper freak anymore hellbent on whoring for reviews. I guess it's like...ff.net confession. I always wanted to go in a cofession box...
My username can refer to either the NMBC characters or the phrase referring to a gun. Lock shock and barrel. I just think it sounds kickass.
Beyond that, there's nothing too terribly interesting about me. Except maybe that my entire family is insane. One day, I'll be just like them. Oh, God.
how 'bout that there concrit?
Since lately I've been running low on muse, and writing non-con seems to tire my readers out, I've recently decided to start giving concrit (that's constructive critisism, children) to those who want it. And possibly those who need it but don't necessarily want it. Watch out, kiddos.
If crucial, flames might also be induced. But I'm a bit of a hippie, so I really love everyone. Except people who insist on writing like a brain-damaged walrus. Apparently walruses can paint. And they're well endowed. But I digress...
DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS
Trolls, you might ask?
Well, my friends, as a demi-avid member of Fr's army, I find I must educate you poor innocent people on the inbred evil that is the troll.
You've seen them before. You're strolling about on your fandom, happily clicking along, when suddenly, you find a piece titled something along the lines of "da best stroie EVA!!!11oneshift1 llolz", written by iSuCkPeNiSLAWLZ12126512.
Or something similiar. That, my friends, is a troll. Someone who writes God-awful pieces of shit just to set people off. And people who don't recognize the troll as a troll will begin to simply lose their marbles and begin attacking the fic.
Never do this, ever.
This is, in a sense, feeding the troll. Because you just flipped a shit, they get off from it. So don't feed the troll. Just ignore it. This is the only way to keep the fandoms clean.
Don't feed the trolls.
i'll sprekken my own damn language, kthnx.
I will speak English and Spanish.
I'm sure Japan is a wonderful country. But I'm not going to stare at your profile for hours on end trying to learn random Japanese phrases.
And no, I'm not 'all hatin' on teh Japan'.
That's me and my cause. You can agree or disagree. I don't really care either way. If you want to cleanse the site of idiots, join Fr's army. If not...then...don't.
Anyhow, I do believe it's time to watch Edward Scissorhands again. Ciao.
-lock shock &barrel
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