TheArchives
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Joined 02-16-05, id: 759972
Author has written 22 stories for Naruto, and Tsubasa Chronicle.

Welcome to the Archives!
The Archives of what, you ask?

These are the

Archives of N.O.T.
(a.k.a., the Naruto Omake Theater)

It is our goal to inject into the world of Naruto fanfiction some HUMOR, as we have found there to be far too much angst in this fandom. Yes, we understand that the series contains a lot of angst, but there is also a great deal of humor to be found.

That being said, we have decided to present you (the Reader) with our Naruto fanfiction. This will mostly be omake, although there might be a serious story or two here and there. These will be marked as such.

Now, who are "we," you may ask?

We are the Archivists:

Sneaky Cat

Slippery Liz

Clever Audrey

Sly Omi


Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto. That honor belongs to his creator, Kishimoto-sama.

General Warnings:
-As these are generally humor fics, there WILL be OOCness at times
-Many of these stories contain SHOUNEN-AI, mostly of the Sasunaru/Narusasu persuasion. Nothing heavy, but if you don't like, then stay away
-Other pairings will be marked individually
-All of these stories are meant in good fun, and are not intended to offend.

An Offer:
If any of you Readers out there have some artistic talent, we would be happy to have fanart done for any of these stories. Most especially, if anyone wanted to draw doujinshi (fancomics) of any of our omake, we would be eternally grateful. All we ask is that you cite us as the originators of the idea, and let us see the finished product.


Well, that should be all for now, so - on to the fiction!

We hope you enjoy!

Your Archivists,
Sneaky Cat, Slippery Liz, Clever Audrey and Sly Omi

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Guardian in Spite of Herself by Elizabeth Culmer reviews
The reward for a job well done is a bigger job. In this case, Ayakawa Yukiko's new job is a lot more complicated than anyone expected. The Uchiha massacre and its aftermath, in the world of 'The Way of the Apartment Manager.' WIP
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 72,390 - Reviews: 603 - Favs: 972 - Follows: 1,143 - Updated: 3/3/2012 - Published: 12/1/2005 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Kakashi H., OC
Lost In Translation by Ontogenesis reviews
Lesson XI: Kurogane and Fai arrive at Yasha's keep.
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 34,301 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 363 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 9/14/2007 - Published: 1/27/2006
A Fox and a Shark Walk into a Bar by Gigabomb reviews
AU In a universe where Itachi and Kisame succeeded in capturing Naruto, an Akatsuki delegation is sent to Konoha to negotiate a treaty in the midst of war. The only problem is, everyone in Konoha thinks Naruto is dead.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 158,746 - Reviews: 933 - Favs: 1,045 - Follows: 716 - Updated: 6/7/2007 - Published: 7/23/2004 - Naruto U.
Symbiosis by alliterationhor reviews
“You’re killing us both already.”
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,828 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/10/2006 - Complete
Lily of the valley by Mizu-Tenshi reviews
Forgiveness comes in many forms. KxF SxS
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,098 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/10/2006 - Fai, Kurogane - Complete
Coffee Break by Ontogenesis reviews
A humid evening at an outdoor cafe. Kurogane learns something interesting from Fai.
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,662 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/16/2006 - Complete
In the Dust by crinklescofftrip reviews
Please note rating: M! Sasuke set his life on one goal, after that goal is over he is left with one question: Now what? Maybe find out just who it was he killed? KisaIta No, really!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 29,702 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/3/2006 - Published: 4/12/2006 - Itachi U., Sasuke U.
A Thousand Offerings by Akabeko reviews
Life and beer in an ancient world. KuroFai.
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,795 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/18/2006 - Complete
Close His Steps Pursued by Akabeko reviews
KuroganeFai HC Oneshot. The group transport to an iceworld where things go awry.
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,163 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 179 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/14/2006 - Complete
A Child Of Celes by Ontogenesis reviews
Final chapter: When Fai is eleven, tragedy strikes his village. But then a mysterious king offers him a chance at a new life: will Fai accept?
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 31,632 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/18/2006 - Published: 10/25/2005 - Complete
Chasing Naruto by AkaiTsume reviews
AU: College Years. Sasuke doesn't want to come to terms with his feelings, but when rivals appear, he has to take matters into his own hands...NaruSasu Shounenai, yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 130,423 - Reviews: 2583 - Favs: 3,091 - Follows: 606 - Updated: 2/11/2006 - Published: 3/19/2005 - Complete
The Way of the Apartment Manager by Elizabeth Culmer reviews
Ayakawa Yukiko retired from being a ninja, and she's come to terms with that. Then the Third Hokage summons her for an assignment that will change her life. AU story, set six years premanga. COMPLETE
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 82,166 - Reviews: 689 - Favs: 1,841 - Follows: 428 - Updated: 10/27/2005 - Published: 6/4/2005 - Naruto U., Kakashi H., Iruka U., OC - Complete
Tea Before War by Gigabomb reviews
Kisame, Hinata. Genius doesn't equal tactful. Dealing with genius does.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,107 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 11 - Published: 10/15/2005 - Hinata H., Kisame H. - Complete
Black and Blue All Over by Abarero reviews
They were killers, they were partners, they were a deadly team working for the Akatsuki. But perhaps there was more to them than that. A Kisame x Itachi Collection.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,815 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/6/2005 - Published: 3/25/2005 - Itachi U., Kisame H.
Broken Handed by Chevira Lowe reviews
Itachi is not perfect, and he's wondering when that first became a problem. Oneshot, Itachicentric, no romance
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,657 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 13 - Published: 6/13/2005 - Complete
Blind Eyes by Gigabomb reviews
Itachi x Kisame. Canon, after the time jump. Itachi can no longer see, but Kisame still feels as if someone is watching.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,537 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 17 - Published: 5/9/2005 - Itachi U., Kisame H. - Complete
Gravity by Chevira Lowe reviews
(More like PG-15, oy) ShikamaruxTemari. Abundant fluff and near-smut. Because it's not how you win, it's how you play the game.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,916 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/4/2005
Climb a Little Higher by Chevira Lowe reviews
When all is said and done, all that's left is to live. NarutoSasuke fluffy drabble-thing.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,138 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/31/2005
Itachi the Red Eyed Ninja by ShullBitter reviews
The classic Christmas song re-written for a very ninja Christmas! And to finish out the set of songs is Chapter 7, making this collection COMPLETE!
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 1,423 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/24/2004 - Published: 12/17/2004 - Complete
An Avenger Tested by ShullBitter reviews
Silly One-shot. Before Itachi will consent to fight Sasuke, Sasuke must pass a test. Slight Sasuke bashing. No pairings.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,354 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/2/2004 - Complete
The Golden Rule by Moonsheen reviews
Naruto finds himself in a comprising position. Implied yaoi. Let's pretend the formatting works, shall we?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,187 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 588 - Follows: 63 - Published: 1/4/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

30 Kisses: Puppy Love reviews
[Complete] Written for the 30 Kisses livejournal. A set of 30 KibaNaruKiba drabbles all of which are Very Very Random, and all of which cheerfully ignore any semblence of a timeline andor series canon.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 17,464 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 5/23/2007 - Published: 4/4/2006 - Kiba I., Naruto U. - Complete
Akatsuki Members Should Not Take Menial Missions reviews
Sometimes even SClass missing nin have stupid jobs. Crack shonenai oneshot. KisameItachi.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,112 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/1/2007 - Itachi U., Kisame H. - Complete
Not Quite Paradise reviews
After Tokyo everything was different, and the bad seemed to outweigh the good. But that didn’t mean it had to stay that way forever. Acid Tokyo spoilers. Mild KuroFai.
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,338 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Complete
Death is in the eye of the beholder reviews
Death, like beauty and madness, is sometimes only in the eye of the beholder. But when once trustworthy eyes begin to lie, where is truth to be found? Complete. Mild KisaIta, last chapter.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,535 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/21/2006 - Published: 10/30/2006 - Complete
Operation Red Moon reviews
Drabble Omake. Various moments in the life of Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi. KisaIta, Shonenai, and an obscene amount of crack.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 14,821 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 11/16/2006 - Published: 3/11/2005
Family reviews
He hadn't expected to have a second chance at having a family, but now that he does, he's not going to let it go. Implied spoilers for Kurogane's backstory, chps. 124 & 125. Implied KuroganeFai.
Tsubasa Chronicle - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/15/2006 - Complete
Evil, or Something Like It reviews
Akatsuki drabbles. Humor and total crack. Do not expect any sense out of them. Spoilers for Part 2 of the manga. No pairings. 4: Why did Sir Leader listen to Deidara's schemes anyway?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,263 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/16/2006 - Published: 12/27/2005
Too Sexy For a Shirt reviews
Complete. Various incidents involving the guys without their shirts on...and the girls around to appreciate it! Various pairings, all het. At last, number 10: Orochimaru gets a blind date with...?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,147 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 2/3/2006 - Published: 6/26/2005 - Complete
The World Loves a Tragic Story reviews
Oneshot, AU, crack. The world might enjoy tragic stories best, but personally Kisame preferred happy endings. Mild KisaIta.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,558 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/14/2005 - Complete
All Along reviews
Serious, oneshot NaruHina. Naruto is feeling a bit down, but he talks with Hinata and begins to realize that sometimes the best things were in front of you all along.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 867 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/26/2005 - Complete
When Blondes Plot or How Orochimaru Was Defeated reviews
[drabble CRACKFIC seminotquite crossover] Naruto has gone to get Sasuke back, but he's got a little help with him.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/16/2005
Animal Instincts reviews
[Drabble 18] A series of KibaNaru drabbles. There are some that would have you think that there is an order to all them, but there is no drabble timeline. These are random. Yaoi abounds.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 12,039 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 8/15/2005 - Published: 2/24/2005 - Complete
On the Sun reviews
Serious Crash and Burn drabble. Neji needs to speak with Sasuke...and he's always preferred metaphors. Last C&B related piece!
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 639 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/6/2005 - Complete
The Epilogues reviews
OMAKE (HUMOROUS) Epilogues for my fic Crash and Burn. What happens after Naruto and Sasuke get together... Shounen-ai. Epilogue 10! Last one! If he'd known that was all it took, Sasuke would have done this years ago...(Complete)
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,846 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/30/2005 - Published: 3/4/2005 - Complete
Weasel Meets Shark reviews
(One-shot) Short, random AU fic. What if Itachi and Kisame had fought each other in the Chuunin Exams? (Okay, so I lied. You get a little bit more. O.o)
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,319 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/27/2005 - Published: 4/12/2005 - Complete
Food Play reviews
A series of humorous drabble omake concerning the suggestive uses of food. Complete and total crack. Pairings listed by chapter. Shonenai and het. [Complete]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 4,488 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/20/2005 - Published: 2/22/2005 - Complete
An Unexpected Encounter reviews
(One-shot...unless inspiration were to strike me. Sorry.) Sasuke had expected that someday he'd run into his brother again...just not like this...Randomness warning!
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 798 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/27/2005 - Complete
Poetic Justice reviews
Sasuke learns to summon the snakes, but things don't always go quite the way he plans... Complete!
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,509 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/27/2005 - Published: 3/2/2005 - Complete
Accusations reviews
[Serious fic] Sasuke returns after a mission to find that Naruto has been arrested for murder. One shot. No timeline. Sasunaru
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,043 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/9/2005 - Complete
Crash and Burn reviews
(Serious fic) SasuNaru. Sasuke returns after three years in Sound, and renews his friendship with Naruto. Realizing that his friend isn't well, he finally finds the words that Naruto needs to hear. COMPLETE.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,412 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 326 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 2/27/2005 - Published: 2/22/2005 - Complete
Exiled Home reviews
[SasuNaru] Based on some fanart I saw. Naruto is a Tengu cast out of his colony with selective amnesia. He is sent to his second home, Konoha, where his formerly favorite person, Uchiha Sasuke, lives.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,023 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/26/2005 - Published: 2/23/2005 - Naruto U.
A Simple Game of Shougi reviews
(One-shot) Shikamaru plays shougi with Temari. Something unexpected happens. ShikaTemari, hinted SasuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,451 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/20/2005 - Complete
Gigabomb (70)