Amry
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Joined 03-10-05, id: 773160, Profile Updated: 03-31-08
Author has written 8 stories for Lord of the Rings, Hellsing, Naruto, Death Note, and Fullmetal Alchemist.

When this account first went up, there was one person writing for it. There is still only one person writing for it, but there is a second who comes up with pretty much all the plots and whose brain spawned "Tiny Forks," "FAIL," and "Battlefield" (furvacatta on this site). Basically, the chemical equation is:

KJ'S PLOTS + SR'S WRITING = AMRY

Fic written before the teamup:

-Lurkh's Tale, being the account of an Orc stuck traveling with a Rohirric Eored. It was my first actual fic, and I posted it before I had such paltry things as "chapters" figured out, and now I simply do not want to bother with fixing it as no one reads it anyway. I do like it, though, so I never took it down.

-Gaara Goes to the Chiropractor, being as the title says. Um... there is no way to describe this. Seriously. It's not long; go read it. That's all the explanation required.

-Speshul Alucard, being a humorous speculation on what Alucard would be like with the mind of a two-year-old. It's not as stupid as it sounds. I might actually finish it sometime. Until then, there are only a few chapters up. Considering that there was no discernible plot, however (hey, it's crack, after all), I don't think that the lack of continuation will hurt you too much.

-Death Walk, being the world's first-ever Death Note/America's Next Top Model crossover. Directed at anyone who honestly believes that Death Note is SRS BZNS. It is not troll. It will actually be good, or anyway is intended to be.

Fic written after the teamup:

-Tiny Forks, being an extremely crack tale of L's relationship with his tiny forks, which he can be seen using pretty much all the time. It was written when KJ requested a fic with the pairing L/Tiny Forks. We are ashamed of how fun it was to write. XD

-FAIL, being a collection of humorous oneshots involving Mello, who, as we all know, fails phenomenally in all he does. There is so much potential for crack in his fail. More ought to be coming soon. KJ supplies the puns, SR supplies the ARGHRAGEEXPLODE.

-Battlefield, being our first bit of serious multi-chaptered fic, about Roy Mustang and Trisha Elric's romance. Death Walk isn't dead, but right now this one is hoarding all my attention. Plot almost entirely by KJ. We're proud of how it's coming out; give it a read and tell us what you think.

-Au Jour le Jour, being a time-travel AU about Edward Elric's enlistment in the Amestris military at the time of the first Ishbal Rebellion. Written and plotted entirely by KJ.

A word of advice to writers of fanfiction: If your story sucks and you know it, DO NOT POST IT. Especially do not post it with a note in the summary reading something to the effect of "This is a horrible story, sorry, read anyway plz!!" because telling people your story sucks and then expecting them to read it is unrealistic and extremely silly and does not give a good impression of your intelligence to the reader. Take the necessary steps to make sure that your story does not suck before you post it. That's what betas are for.

Another word of advice to writers of fanfiction: Spelling counts. Spelling ALWAYS counts.

Oh, yes, and we beta, too. Drop us a line if you need a good editor; we do grammar, spelling, organization, and content, and we don't squelch creativity! 8D

Please enjoy our fics - we do work hard on them, crack or not.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Important Bit by Rayndrop reviews
Just where exactly is the line between "to love" and "to be in love"? What difference is required between "flatmate" and "husband"? Besides the rings, obviously. The important bit is that they have each other. Married asexual!Sherlock/Straight!John.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,038 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 806 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 9/6/2011 - Published: 7/26/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Antivillain by Bialy reviews
Mello’s not a murderer and he never will be, Halle decides. He’s a kid in over his head, and that might be more dangerous than anything else. MelloxHalle
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,972 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 1/2/2010 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Halle L., Mello
Gimme Mah Chocolate, Foo! by My Sublunary Soul reviews
Crackfic? No. Don't be ridiculous. This is a perfectly respectable collection of many oneshot, possibly twoshot, happenings at the Wammy House. Mello-mazing rants, Near-rific lethargy, and Matt-tastic nonsense guaranteed. Rated T for spunkiness.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 32,999 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/1/2009 - Published: 8/5/2007 - Mello, Near
Blue Heaven by HardlyFatal reviews
Class 2D has to take a course in Family Life, where they're all paired off in pretend marriages for the year. Hijinks ensue. Several pairings. COMPLETE
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,262 - Reviews: 1298 - Favs: 990 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 12/3/2008 - Published: 6/30/2005 - Kyo S., Tohru H. - Complete
thirstytired, a remix from the other side by the hikikomori life reviews
Watanuki knows, distantly, that all this is his fault. He watches the slow erosion of Doumeki's youth and vitality, the hardening of his heart. Doumeki himself doesn't seem to notice. It's a gradual process, Watanuki supposes. Sort of like dying.
xxxHOLiC - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,392 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/13/2008 - S. Doumeki, K. Watanuki - Complete
The Mother Of The Law by SunMoonAndSpoon reviews
Teru Mikami is not an easy child to raise. According to his mother he is arrogant, reckless, and finicky, and she doesn't have the time or money to deal with him. Can an encounter with the Yagami family help her look at things differently? Slight AU
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,706 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/7/2008 - Mikami T., Light Y. - Complete
The Scream by Nilahxapiel reviews
AU. Kira had stolen everything from him; his life, his identity, his art… Hate consumed him, motivated him, drove him…and fear was his prison. But Raito is breaking free, and his rescuer is far from a knight in shining armor…Slight Yaoi.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22,266 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 510 - Follows: 56 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Light Y., L - Complete
Worship by Nilahxapiel reviews
He should have gotten a restraining order, because people are supposed to fear their stalkers. Not fall in love with them. AU RaitoxMikami. Lemon. One-shot.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,161 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 477 - Follows: 55 - Published: 3/27/2008 - Light Y., Mikami T. - Complete
Cherries, Etc by Saulie reviews
Two kisses. Taste testing. Absence makes the heart grow kind of weird, but to the victor belong the spoils. Cherry flavor isn't quite cherry. Matt's not sure what to make of all this. MattxMisa, LxMatt. Yeah, folks, this one's pretty strange.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 21 - Published: 2/12/2008 - Matt, L - Complete
True Elision by Ezan reviews
YAOI RaitoRyuzaki.Raito dies and becomes nothing. But the Shinigami need his soul,so they give him a second chance.They recreate his spirit and send him to a hellish trial where he must face his living nightmares.Intense romance comes late in fic
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 298,904 - Reviews: 911 - Favs: 707 - Follows: 591 - Updated: 1/31/2008 - Published: 5/8/2007
Playing Puzzle by Ilpo-daughter reviews
Matt and Near spend more time together, due to Mello throwing all sorts of fits and trying to show Near up and end up playing all sorts of fun games, including puzzles and DDR.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,421 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/26/2008 - Published: 11/2/2007 - Near, Matt - Complete
The most retarded Christmas ever by IceCrome reviews
Say goodbye to your brain cells, kiddies. The title isn't kidding.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,245 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/20/2007 - Mello, Matt - Complete
A Simpler Ending by Timeless Simplicity reviews
What if the ending to Death Note was simpler? This is my parody of the ending to Death Note. SPOILERS
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,048 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Light Y., Near - Complete
Expectations by orientalbunny reviews
Just a quick piece, a oneshot that ends ironically Jareth attempting to be normal in order to woo Sarah. I just wanted to write something different.
Labyrinth - Rated: T - English - Angst/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,827 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/21/2007 - Complete
What Happens in Walmart, Stays in Walmart by Fatal Error reviews
The cast of Death Note is unleashed upon the world of retail sale. Based on a very random roleplay. Rated T for mild to strong language general crack and suggestive situationsxShounenai in later chapters. Almost all characters will eventually appear.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 21,855 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 6/9/2007 - Published: 5/7/2007
Lie by WallofIllusion reviews
Honesty is not to be expected from a nine year old genius.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,404 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/20/2007 - L - Complete
Chocolate Covered Cherries by xeyes reviews
Wondering what happened that first night that L and Light were chained together? Well, here's my answer. And no, it's not what you're thinking. T for a little language and an obnoxious question.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,081 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/17/2007 - Complete
Stripped by Saulie reviews
Matt hates listening to boring people talk, Mello finishes sentences quickly, Wammy's is not up to date on the modern aesthetic and the 'stripped' prompt is given a highly disappointing interpretation.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,803 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/8/2007 - Matt, Mello - Complete
Ca'canny by NakuruAngel reviews
We play a deadly game of life and death, loving each other. A game centered around making the other break and restricting our affection and loving in quite the roundabout way. But for once, neither of us cares. LLight Oneshot YAOI.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,184 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/23/2007 - Complete
Perfect Match by spanish techno reviews
L x Raito. Drabble. 'Playing' means different things to everyone.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 741 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/21/2007 - Complete
Extenuating Circumstances by rallamajoop reviews
This is not the scene where supernatural forces coerce them into having sex. This is the argument they had afterwards.
xxxHOLiC - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,537 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/19/2007 - Published: 1/14/2007 - Complete
A Subtle Kind by Acey Dearest reviews
When others demand that we become the people they want us to be, they force us to destroy the person we really are. Alternate reality. MelloxMisa, LightxMatt. Spoilers for chapter 99. For paitac.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,474 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/2/2006 - Mello, Misa A. - Complete
First Days by Ayien reviews
It's another war, and he can't find it in himself to be suprised. Iruka sits in the dark classroom and wonders if he can honestly say it's worth it. Or if he's only been sending off children to their deaths. For Plotbunny Adoption Agency
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,051 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/19/2006 - Complete
Never Woulda Thought by NothingThere2Hurt reviews
L is with Edward and is SO happy. but, unfortunately, Ed leaves with Mello and L is devastated. Death Note X FMA X Furuba ALSO YAOI! no details, sorry.
Anime X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,996 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/8/2006 - Complete
Download! by The Kat Valentine reviews
Integra loves her Corpsey. Corpsey wants a sandwich. Walter loves his Integra and is old. Seras loves her gun...ohh, and her master...mostly her gun.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,493 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/21/2006 - Published: 11/20/2005
AN ARTIST'S LOVE SONG! by MirandaOtto reviews
hopefully my title got your attention: Raven, a young artist, has suddenly fallen into an artistic depression. After the news of her family’s death after a tragic car accident, her mind has fallen even farther into a dark hole. With no one to take her in
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,686 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/15/2005 - Beast Boy, Raven
FanFic by Asrella reviews
On an irritated whim, Yuki submits a fanfic for his own story and gets way more than he bargained for.
Gravitation - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,047 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/7/2005
Breakdown in Communication by Baron Hausenpheffer reviews
Ed and Al answer a distress call from a tiny village, only to find that the townsfolk have been slightly...misinformed. Can Ed and Al resolve this breakdown in communication? Funnier than it sounds R&R, please!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/22/2004 - Edward E., Alphonse E. - Complete
Naruto Primer by Link and Luigi reviews
Ever read Chicken Soup for the Soul? Well, this isn't really like it. But it has the same format filled with all sorts of short stories. You're BOUND to find something for the whole family! COMPLETED!
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 101 - Words: 139,709 - Reviews: 2636 - Favs: 963 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 5/16/2004 - Published: 2/26/2004 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Battlefield reviews
Edward has seen many soldiers, but he's never smelled the battlefield smoke so strongly as from the man who stands beside his mother. RoyxTrisha
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,107 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/22/2008 - Published: 1/17/2008 - Roy M., Trisha E.
Au Jour le Jour reviews
In 1907, at the age of sixteen, Private Edward Elric was deployed to repress the Ishbal Rebellion. Time Travel
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,485 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 4/3/2008 - Published: 3/31/2008 - Edward E., Roy M.
FAIL reviews
A collection of humorous oneshots relating to Mello and how much he fails. Brought up to T for language crack Fifth: Return of Rhymes with Fail
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,370 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 3/24/2008 - Published: 7/3/2007 - Mello, Matt
Death Walk reviews
The first ever Death NoteAmerica's Next Top Model crossover! Light Yagami wants to win ANTM and become a fashion god, but can he beat out the competition from the world famous Wammy House modeling agency? [crack, if you couldn't tell] [CHAPTER 2 IS UP]
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,578 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 11/13/2007 - Published: 10/30/2007 - Light Y.
Tiny Forks reviews
There is a reason that L is never seen using a normal sized fork. The feelings between himself and his silverware run deeper than the rest of the task force would have guessed. [One shot, crack, LxTiny Forks]
Death Note - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 920 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/20/2007 - Complete
Gaara Goes to the Chiropractor reviews
Oneshot. I think the title says it all...
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 777 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Published: 5/4/2006 - Gaara - Complete
Speshul Alucard reviews
After an unfortunate accident, Alucard is regressing... severely. One moment he'll be normal, the next he'll be a two year old, albeit a two year old with superhuman strength and access to heavy duty guns. How does Integra cope? CHAPTER 3 IS UP!
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,314 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/21/2005 - Published: 11/5/2005
Lurkh's Tale reviews
A captive Uruk's adventures in Rohan. After being captured in battle, Lurkh is desperately trying to figure out what to do in the midst of Rohirric customs totally different from his own. K for minor violence and one scene briefly involving a naked Orc no
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,572 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/13/2005