Author has written 1 story for Harry Potter.
As I am not from GB or US, my stories may contain some errors, typos. I won't be insulted if you point them ;). What are my stories about? OP characters, but not from the very beginning, forced to work and think at least a bit for their power. There won't be naive protagonists - I strongly dislike them. On the other hand, I will try not to make my protagonist both too much of an a-hole or a sadist. In my writing and reading, I focus mostly on Harry Potter and Naruto fandoms. From time to time I also like to read a crossover with Worm, Star Wars, Star Gate or Assasin's Creed.
I'm mostly interested in theoretical side of supernatural powers of some world. This is the reason I've chosen above mentioned titles, so I'm usually seriously disappointed, when author focuses on creating a great pack of friends instead of training the hero. Empire building, Sim City settled in fantasy world is also something that will surely interest me - I loved a story where Lord Voldemort was reborn in GOT world and tried to create magical kingdom.
TL;DR - I love a hero that creates, has an idea, isn't only responding to villain, but has this great vision.
The biggest problem I noticed with fanfiction? They are plagiats and not even intentionally. People repeat the same events, the same dialogue sentences even though the butterflies' wings should've change everything by now. They don't do it out of the ill will. I tried to write a story, though I didn't publish it and I've fallen into the same pit. First, you try to expand on the story you started in your summary - you had this great idea. The story is almost like review - you rush to be able to finally catch up with canon, where the differences would be seen, then you slow down.
And this is the problem, looking back this rushed review is always the best part of fanfic, because it is something new and it uses ideas from your summary, ideas that lured a reader to your profile. The rest of the fic is retelling of canon with more badass protagonist. So in hindsight I would say - assume that there is no point that you have to catch up to, never slow down with the start of the canon, because if anything it's the canon that needs to be shortly round-up in one paragraph.
So, instead of five chapters, making probably 25% of your story describing the Wave mission in Naruto or Troll Incident in HP it should be commented by one sentence:
(Wave - Naruto) After 4 weeks of D-rank missions they were finally given a C-rank (though in reality, the mission was a mislabeled A-rank). With their good training before the academy, the mission in Wave didn't give them many troubles, though they finally realised how dangerous their profession can be. After return they started training with even bigger determination.
(Troll - HP) The rest of autumn didn't bring many emotions. People were terrified by the incident with the troll (how did it even manage to get into Hogwarts?), but luckily the teachers were able to save this Granger girl with only a broken hand (or but as only a muggleborn had died, nobody cared).
This is it. We are fans - we can quote almost whole chapters from our memories and we read hundreds of fanfics. There is nothing more boring than to read for the 300th time the same scene. Short summary is enough - we want to read something new!
- Time travel.
But properly done. There is nothing more irritating than saving the timeline. "I will have no advantage of knowing the future." Yeah, but usually, you're like Kage level warrior. So outline of future events should be enough and then simply destroy your enemies. It's also nice, if author didn't create new enemies out of nowhere or transported antagonist with hero.
- Self inerts (SI).
Only small fraction of this genre. Unfortunally, majority of SIs is written by emotional teenager girls. Pure angst - "Oh, I'm in a world, that soon will be drowned in war! Oh, I will die! Oh, I'm so unlucky, but I will suffer like a true heroin!"
I prefer approach from A world full of monsters: "Hmm, so things might go to hell, but there is rinnegan and battle magic in this world. And... I know the future. If I am carefull, I can live a long, happy life." When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
It is also very important to me, that protagonist discovers magic/chakra. In many Naruto SIs the hero that tries to be responsible, think ahead, trains physically completely ignoring super-powers. I call bullshit! In rich countries even up to 50% of population is overweight. Out of not chubby, even less people takes box or karate classes. Now we take random person from our universe - probability tells us, that random person will be a couch potato. Meaning they won't know a thing about martial arts, nor even anything about exercises. Meaning, for average person reborn in Narutoverse chakra is the only salvation. And let's be honest, who would've left something so new and unique for years alone, not trying to experiment?
- Harry is a Horcrux of his girlfriend and she's his.
One of my favourite cheats. I'm very vary of the idea of Horcruxes. Not because it disgusts me - so what, that you have to kill? The world is at war, there's plenty of volunteers, deserving the fate of being ingrediend in a dark ritual. The idea seems simply too dangerous - it's quite probable that Riddle stopped being genius because of madness induced by Horcruxes. Then, it's quite stupid to gain immortality at a price of your immortal part.
But with this cheat... You can realy use this garbage power of love, that Dumledore likes to drone about. I don't believe in this trash, but in the case of repairing, merging soulpieces it can be useful. You can be free of insanity, because you have full soul, even though not completely yours. And you literally gain soul-bound with your beloved ;) So immortality without drawbacks and with many bonuses.
- Accio, Reparo.
With these two spells no wizard has the right to be poor. You didn't get a job in ministry? So what? Go muggle and summon old coins from Roman Empire, or go to London and summon lost coins from neighbourhood. Are you hungry? Go into wilderness and summon fish - you can't transfigure food, but you can summon it.
If you want a completely legal business, just open a repair shop for everything without electronics. Or go into recycling business. Buy a garbage dump, summon metal, sell it. Sumon damaged antics, repair it, open shop with antics. These two spells are cheats, yet nobody uses them on a larger scale. I am not excited, when I read about Harry with elemental powers, Harry with great dueling talent, Harry training martial arts. I'm excited, when our hero sits and thinks for five minutes and then uses his powers to their full potential.
- Ambitious goal.
Cure Neville Longbottom's parents from insanity, after becoming the best doctor for Harry Potter, create his own Philosopher Stone, create perpetum mobile or simply a new energy source and sell it to Muggles. Build an AI by fusing talking portraits instead of electronis.
For Naruto - "catch em all", I mean bloodlines. By fuinjutsu, or being a great medic, I don't care. But bloodlines are the most interesting part of Naruto. Gain Rinnegan. Resurrect parents by upgraiding Edo Tensei. Gain Kyubi's memories of ancient jutsus. Create a jutsu, that will automatically exhaust your muscles thus allowing you to skip your physical training.
And so on. But the thing is, be something more than this, internally, broody teenager whose only goal is to defeat the Big Bad and become the martyr. Hell, even Naruto's dream to become a Hokage would be nice, if he was approiching it seriously, if it would constantly burn his soul, forcing him to learn, train, think.
I simply love the romance that is cute, warm, makes your day. Without drama, nagging, strange adventures like kidnappings and attempted rapes. Warm friendship fluently evolving into something more...
- Gamer fics
With many 'but's. It's great, it creates what we could call Augmented Reality, something that we're trying to achieve with the newest electronics and Artificial Neural Networks. And here it is. The beauty of concept was shown in the original Gamer - seemingly average world became exciting. A little bit like with Sims.
"Who would've want to play a life simulator?" Yet everybody loved it and now it has, correct me if I'm wrong, the 4th version.
So it makes your reality a little more magical, even without other special powers. Quantizing the abilities of person finally gives them a motivation to work harder - every push-up gives you 1% to next level of strength. You see effects immediately. But it's not all. Skills don't deteriorate - in real life you forget how to craft, play the piano, speak foreign languages after a while. Your body gains fat and loses strength if you skip gym.
Then let's add to it some fantasy world with magic/chakra. It finally evens the field for the hero - up until now he was always getting by thanks to his luck.
There are many ways that this concept can be destroyed:
- Power given intentionally by some higher being or game master. And then there is a dialog with the game. It was supposed to be a game, an automatic program, a machine! Am I the only one creeped out by some powerful designer/demon observing everything the MC does, even in toilet? Then comes the freedom - there will be the end of it because you gained it only on a whim from some R.O.B.
It's better when it's gained as an accident - for example, Harry Potter's accidental magic and blood protection reacted to beating after a day of playing console. "It would be cool if my life was a game."
- Instant Dungeons. Together with loot they are screaming, that something's wrong with reality - soon everybody will learn about this special skill, Gamer. But there is more important thing. IDs are extremely OC, they break the flow of story. They support lack of cunning. The Gamer was supposed to make a great story out of bland, grey days. So instead exp should be gained by getting side quests from neighbours. Experience in fights? That's what bullies are for. Show some creativity, make quests based on canon!
- Party system. Gamer was supposed to be unique skill, giving advantage to some random guy. With party system, everyone is suddenly a gamer, everybody has this advantage, so we're back to the square one. Another problem? Party system all but confirms, that Gamer skill want be a secret. And keeping the reason for OPness is half of the thrill in such fics.
- Wasting the power. The Gamer not only enables, but all but makes sure that the receiver will have an exponential growth. But only if the user uses it! So protagonist should sit down and think how he can play the system. Plan the min-maxing. When and where invest the stat points. What kind of training will be the most efficient with this kind of power.
Example of what not to do is the hero adding his stat points to strength, vitality after every level up. This stats, especially in the beginning, can be very easily grinded! It's easy to think about the training that will improve the physical capabilities. It's harder with psychic. INT? Doable - read books, learn, but it's harder. WIS? Very abstract, play chess? LUC? Almost impossible. Yes, gambling and avoiding near death situations will do. But to gain a point you need to win. And without a luck to begin with, you will never level it up, or you may even die.
So - LUC, WIS, INT these are the only skills that are justified to use the points on. Even then, firstly they should be grinded as far as possible.
Secondly, people are too stubborn when they reach higher level of stats. They still try to train for days, weeks, only to gain one more point in STR. It's frustrating to read: "He trained for two years, gained 5 points for each stat". To little! They should think how to walk around the problem. Maybe inject some steroids before the training? Gamer power will make sure that there is no lasting damage. Or maybe discover a skill that passively boosts the stat? Level up Running, it should give passive increase to stamina and first few levels would be easier to gain then one more level of stamina.
- Training of the protagonist
Because the author is forced to write his own story. Show his own timetable for the hero, show his creative ways of using chakra/magic, create new ways of cheating and grinding. Unfortunately, after the training hero usually walks straight through canon, looking slightly more cool, then there are some boring fights, so yeah... Training is the moment, when MC makes himself better and the part of story which cannot be simply copied from canon.
- Alternative path villain.
I love stories in AU world, where the villain never became a villain, in his deciding moment he did what was right instead of easy. The stories, where Tom Riddle never killed Myrtle, instead becoming DADA teacher and reforming Hogwart's curriculum. In Narutoverse, AU where Mizuki isn't a demon hater and decided to tutor Naruto, gaining attention of Hokage and eventually promotion.
Traditional fics with light!Harry, where hero doesn't kill anybody aren't able to encourage me to become a better person - I don't believe in naive rethoric that they promote. However, fics with villains with moral backbone usually show that by being a good person you gain more in the long term.
Ironic, as all this text on my profile can be considered a rant. But I mean rants inside of the story. Harry finds out that he was manipulated and for five chapters he rants, how he uncovered all plots. Half of his enemies starts to cry and beg for forgiveness, another half is stunned and only after a week they have some weak reply.
That's not how real life works. IRL, nobody cares. In responce to rant, everyone becomes defensive, trying to shove the guilt on you. And master manipulators? They ALWAYS have contingencies. There was a one-shot - Harry walks into headmaster office and rants. How he discovered that his money were being stolen, that he was being manipulated all his life. Dumbledore responce? One world, password built in Harry's subconsciousness years ago.
Ranting is a sign of an overly arrogant hero, who in a real life would be quickly punished for his stupidy.
- Hermione Granger.
Yes, I know, highly controversial. Good half of community loves her. But for me her appearence means, that Harry will be MC in name only. Harry will become muscle, completely not obliged to think by himself. No training, no testing of boundaries of magic. His role is to make stupid, emotional decisions and destroy what his mistress says to destroy.
Her behavior grates my nerves. Teacher's pet, worshipper of authority, bossy... The most important? She's a hypocrite. She breaks rules, laws, morals, but only when she gives a go ahead, is Golden Trio allowed to cause some mischief. Who gave her the right to look at everybody from higher moral ground? Even if I tried, it would be hard to create something more unlikeable.
- Harry Potter.
Or at the very least, his canon self. He has money, fame, power, friends... Yet he decided to become whiny, brooding emo. After first year he knows that there is a death warrant on his head. Does he try to learn obscure magic, dark spells (better you than me)? Is he doing anything to at least master school curriculum?
Speaking of goals, ambitions... Harry should be a Slytherin in all but name. Sorting Hat wanted to put him there - that means that after deeply judging his personallity, Hat decided that the most distinct feature of HP is ambition, goal (to achieve sth by himself), cunning (he survived Dursleys without being broken). So Slytherin Harry, where have you gone? Why are you looking for your death in Hogwart's traps? Why have you chosen the most unreliable friends -jealous git and teacher's spy?
- Fleur Delacour
You can be sure, that every talk with her will be about how she is seen by everyone only as a beautiful object. But then you take three steps back and start to wonder - 'why did author chose this particular girl?'. The answer is usually - 'because she is beautiful'. Every appearance of her reeks of hipocrisy.
But maybe, just maybe, someone really wanted to focus on her because of interesting personality? No, I don't think so. Every scene with her shows rude, bitchy, spoiled little girl, not some hurt ice queen who needs a prince.
- Bad grammar.
Yes, probably you've already found dozens of mistakes on my profile. But grammatically incorrect english is not some new language - "I don't know it, you don't know it, we will understand each other perfectly". It doesn't work like this. If I cannot understand what I am reading, I will simply stop, no matter how interesting the plot is.
- Canon will never change.
Harry can gain basilisk gaze and eidetic memory. He still will save Hermione from troll in his first year. Naruto can have rinnegan. He will still participate in Wave mission, he still will have absurd talk about his ninja way. The battles may be a little bit more flashy but that's it. Opposite of butterfly effect. Protagonist could be incarnation of Budda, Merlin or Jesus Christ, canon won't change. I think it's a definition of fate. You can choose your road, but you have to walk through some checkpoints.
- Taking strays.
So, protagonist is trying to avoid his enemies. He is already powerful and is killing searching parties, meanwhile gaining new skills. Suddenly, in one village full of homeless children, one is trying to rob him/is attacked. What will he do? Adopt of course, even though he isn't adult himself. Yes, villains have finally an opportunity to hurt him!
Creating handicap, without any reason, it's so frustrating!
- Unlimited OOcness.
"Naruto Uchiha, son of Hashirama, high-school student, who is a girl is looking for love..."
You know, philosophers are asking themselves, how many changes can you make to the object, before it is no longer the same. Is a chair without one leg still a chair? Without two? Is it a chair, if it's constructed from glass? And so on. Hard to show precise moment, when something no longer is the same. But it's easy to say, that Naruto without chakra, with different surname, with different looks, with different character is no longer the same boy.
- Unnecessary drama.
A hero all the time has near death experiences, and then gets power-ups, all the time someone kidnaps his future girlfriend to nearly rape her - only then can they kiss. And if it's still too happy? Maybe he should pretend to be a traitor, to protect his friends?
I know that a story without any bumps will be boring, but there has to be some limit! I'm reading these stories to relax, not to clench my fists.
- "I need allies.".
So our hero discovered new powers, ancient bloodlines, family heirlooms, money, many methods of fast training. He's got every raw material necessary, now he should, in terms of RPGs, start to grind all of his stats. We could read about him learning science behind magic/chakra. Instead he decided, that he needs allies right now.
Hmm, sometimes you really need them. So, is Naruto trying to befriend and upgrade Kakashi, recover Tsunade? Is Harry Potter trying to get to know Amelia Bones, some neutral family heads(light families already love him). No! Our protagonist decided to give his teenager friends all his family secret techniques, so in a couple of years they will achieve adults power level and will be moderately obliged to him.
"I need allies" is a trigger phrase for me, that makes sure that I will not review nor add to favourites the story.
- Patronus charm.
"Dude, what the hell, it's one of the most important charms in story!" Yes, but I hate implications. It's purely defensive. When the crowd cheers, that dementors were fend off, I ask myself "What will they do next?" There is no info about them being seriously harmed. So when the hero celebrates, I see dementors and imagine what are they doing in the same the same time - probably eating muggle's souls, as they were unable to attack wizards.
- Childish insults.
Harry Potter became Lord Potter, Black and whatever you can think about. He is using his Wizengamot seat, he's trying to lead the nation even though he isn't even an adult. So there's this intervew in Prophet, where he'll try to show himself as a powerful wizard, mature person, he'll have to avert attention from his age and gain support from public. He's talking about the war, in formal language and suddenly he says, that he'll fight against the Dork Lord.
It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth, when I read it. Lack of decorum proves that HP is still a little boy, only now with too much power. Look at Dumbledore, how he insults. "Tom". You'll say that it isn't insult, it's Dark Lords name. But Dumbledore uses his name deliberately. Even in private meetings he says "Voldemort, don't fear his name". So why in battle, with so many witnessess is he saying Tom?
It's an obvious insult, with so many layers.
"I know your true name, you can lead Pureblood agenda and yet you will never be one of them".
"You can be a dark lord, but I remember you as one of my students, I can still see this little, pouting boy. Compared to me you're still so inexperienced."
Tom, not Mr Riddle, it must be so patronizing and as infuriating as his use of "my boy".
This is how you insult with style. But for that you need the experience, maturity and wit. And OP!Strong!independent!Harry unfortunately usually doesn't have these traits.
- Hidden good guys.
Draco Malfoy and his father are indeed conservative, but not racist, they are fighting against both sides to save wizarding world. They're compassionate and caring. Bellatrix in reality is a killer only because she was forced to do so by marriage contract. Voldemort never was terrorist, he fights against Dark Lord Dumbledore.
You know, I usually find it as disgusting as majority of people finds Holocaust Denial. It's quite clear that Draco is pampered brat and bully - no 11 year old could put an act so truthfully. His father is a puppet master. Voldemort is quite clearly a villain, charming and witty but with soul as black as Satan a.. I wanted to read about dirty compromises, Harry's maturing process and I got a sob story about unnamed heroes.
It's especially common in romances - Bella is not evil, Pansy Parkinson was only pretending, forced to marry Draco by her parents. Here's the thing - the romance would be so much more interesting, if author wouldn't try to put girls in standard uniform - girlfriend model #3. When I saw Bella and Harry in description I was hoping for a juicy love-hate relationship. Instead I find a girl with boring personality and history with only a name that could mean so much more.
- Many main characters.
"There are many POVs in Game of Throne and nobody's complaining, it allows us to better understand, what is happening." Yes, George Martin managed to create a good story with many protagonists, yet he's a professional writer. In case of ff it usually makes me indifferent towards the hero. It's not usually made deliberately.
The first cause of lack of clear main character is romance. The girl has to fight side by side with hero. (Quick question to war veterans - how many of you participated in battle against jihadists with your wives by your side?). Or if she is not a fighter, she does research for hero, because he's too stupid as a boy (reversed sexism). Pure love, unconditional support, talk are never needed. But in a real life it's the most necessary thing your partner can give you. When a soldier fights, he talks to his wife through Skype to gain support. Meanwhile his wife works as a teacher, maybe is a housewife, maybe a doctor, maybe even a researcher. But my point? She has nothing to do with his fight.
So what is the result for a story? Protagonist makes obvious mistakes to allow his girlfriend to show how much she is needed. He ignores some fields of magic, to make her feel necessary. "I need allies" creates similar problem. Too many main characters makes it impossible for a hero to be truly above average and forces author to leave plot holes, filled by additional heroes. All in all, reader no longer cares what will happen to our hero (eight deadly words).
- Memory loss.
It's usually combined with travel - in time or to different dimensions - in crossovers.
So our badass hero, or not so badass, but with enough abilities, that would give him advantage in his new home, loses his memories as a price. Instead he gains better genetics, some vague feelings. The author should be honest and admit, that his story is not a crossover, but simply has an OC character.
Examples - infant Harry Potter travels to Death Note universe, losing his magic. Oh, and he gains new, japanese name. Why are you still calling this child HP?
- Lady Fate, Death, God, Merlin...
... suddenly appearing and saying "You have the purest soul ever, your enemy is the worst dark lord since centuries, we will help you". Why now? Where were you? I hate these overpowered characters, amoral - because they had power and did nothing for ages and dictating which morals the hero should embrace.
- Villain acts, hero reacts.
Meaning, that usually hero has no ambition. He wants to protect his precious people (how I hate these words), defeat (never kill) the bad guy. Immortality? "It's wrong, everybody has to die eventually." Never mind, that both Naruto and HP world has good half dozen of methods to live longer, without human sacrifices. Money? No! Hero has to live in poverty! Sexy girls? Only as a side note, never as a goal (although this one ambition is sometimes allowed). High political position? Now this is a pure evil, allowed only to rip to pieces the old system, never for power.
Ambition IMHO should never be treated as it is in shounens. It's ambition of medieval doctors, that created current medicine. Ambition of scientists created cars, science, factories, reduced hunger. Ambition of some, admittedly partially-evil princes, good hundreds years ago created your country uniting the fighting tribes. And back to modern times - ambition is what forces young adults to finish the university and gives the nation professionals. Ambition drives people to create new companies thus reducing the unemployment rate.
Without ambition, the story is the next copy of canon, with slightly different details. With it, we can finally get to know the world in story, feel as if we were a part of something new, greater.
- Forgive everything
Yes, forgiveness frees you, if you want revenge, you should dig up two graves - for your enemy and for yourself. You shouldn't go on a killing spree for bullying, neglectful parents should be simply given to proper authorities.
Ok, but there are some things, that are unforgivable:
- Naruto is chased by mobs, skinned, raped, electroduced. "Oh no, I have to show them love, they will understand, that they were wrong." But I would rather say that 13 warning shots in the back of their heads is more approciate. And if you are the real pacifist, let them face trial under neutral judge and send them to prison. But changing their minds is not enough. Making them cry in understanding is not enough. For such crimes there needs to be punishment.
- Sasuke rapes and then kills Hinata in front of Naruto, then kills the jinchuriki himself. By a a strange seal malfunction Naruto goes back in time. Ok, he has the advantage of knowing the future, knows, who is the villain. Will he slit the throat of the vermin, before it becomes too dangerous? No, of course he can forgive everything, he wil go into a guilty trip.
So to sum up - the author builds angst and reader's anger to some absurd heights and then changes his quite dark story into an ideological manifest. Manifest that doesn't work, because anybody with half brain will recognise that it wasn't justice. The story wasn't presenting moral approach, criminals weren't punished.
Because, honestly, changing someone's hair color is not funny. My reaction is usually "Meh, ok, and?". On the other hand, trully good pranks should be either cruel, borderline bullying to be funny, but then, there is a question - has this person trully deserved such actions? - or pranks should be really weird, that when you see them, you can only say WTF?!
Pranks are usually used in stories as some form of revenge. But it's not enough and it's not working IRL. Becasue, as said Machiavelli, you should never hurt your enemies lightly - either use some decisive, crushing actions, or don't act at all. Sligt acts of hostility will bring revenge from your enemy and thus the cycle of hatred (forgive me this Naruto phrase) is never ending. Putting your enemies in jail for life on the other hand is a good beginning.
- Buying slaves to save them.
Do I even have to explain simple laws of market? The hero isn't punishing the offender, he helps one slave, yes, but at the same time he is sponsoring the bussiness and ensures that it thrives. His gold will be spend good on hunting new merchandise.
- Fishing-rod instead of fish
Harry needs to make some allies. Instead of giving them money, tutors and so on, he gives them the base of his power - Room of Requirement when he could give them some items from there, grimoires of Potter family, instead of good textbooks, knowledge of future (if he is time traveler/SI) instead of giving advices on a need-to-know basis.
He voluntarily gives away every advantage he posses in hope of gratitude. He loses control for no good reason.
No, it's more than dislike. I hate it with passion. Harry is hunted by extremely skilled assassin with years of knowledge. Instead of doing his best in school he neglects his homework, avoids difficult electives only to have more time for a silly game.
I try to find a paralel in normal world - psychotic hacker killed your family, soon he will try to break into all your accounts. You can only find information about him by becoming a skilled hacker. So, what should you do? Do your best during math and computer science, in your free time code for fun, read about unix. Instead you become a school champion of go-kart. It's not a bad hobby, could be probably relaxing, but in such circumstances you mustn't sacrifice all your time for silly games!
- Good goblins.
There are, unfortunately many naive stories, but this trope takes the cake. Even Rowling, who was always politically correct, whose whole story was about tolerance, described them as an untrustworthy race. Even canon showed how an attempt to cooperate ended with dagger in the back.
They are opportunistic, rude, aggresive. Race of warriors - meaning race bereft of intelectuals. Their property rights are ridiculous, the history shows that they rebel time and time again. Already, they have too much power - their monopoly over financial system is dangerous. Then let's look for myths and pop-culture - the goblins are always villains, be it Tolkien or Warhammer 40k. It's like making a pact with demons believing that they are misunderstood.
So I cringe every time, when weak, defenceless Harry arrives at Gringotts and describes his situation to these immoral creatures. What is more probable - that a thug hearing about your troubles will help you or that he will rob you, seeing as you are now an easier target?
- "Curse of immortality."
There are only few instances when imortality could be really considered a curse - if you are held a prisoner, if you are being tortured or constantly in pain due to some illness that makes you suffer, but doesn't let you die. Yes, this type of torture was shown in Stargate - parasitic race of Goa'uld would capture you, burn to death, ressurect and so on. You couldn't count on death being the end of this hell.
But this is not the case in the majority of HP fanfics - Harry is rich, he discovered desire to learn new things and he became a genius. he knows how to pick up girls. And he moans, that it's terrible, that he has to commit a suicide. That he will outlive his friends. Here's a thing for you about friends - it's rarity that you stay in contact with your BFF longer than 5 years. Really. Change of school, then change of work place, emigrating to a different city or even country to earn a little bit more... The point is, by the point you reach 50, the contact with your friends from highschool is reduced to talking on a skype twice a year and meeting in person on their birthday.
"Ok, but what about seeing your family die?" You will see them die either way, leading, what we call a happy life. If your life is devoid of tragedy, you will bury your parents and gradparents, not the other way around. You will probably bury half of your siblings, when they will start to die of age. With or without immortality, there is 50% chance that your spouse will die first.
The point is, I despise the angst in any form. Unjustified angst gets a multiplier. I try to pay my bills from my pay and I am happy when there is something left that I can save for a rainy day. I live in fear, that by the time I reach my 50 there will be a high probability of getting a cancer or stroke. And here is this young little shit, moaning that he has so much money and it's so sad, that he will never die or suffer illness. It's kinda hard to sympathise with a broken nail of a celebrity when you fight every day to survive.
- Curse of hatred.
In Naruto it is said to be a curse of Uchicha family. The reason behind their behavior. My problem? All events can be explained without this strange concept. Arrogance? They have the most powerful bloodline! Still, I feel that Hyuuga are more arrogant. Rebellion? They were led to it since Nidaime, who tried to discriminate them and created ghetto for them. Uchicha Massacre is BTW honestly the best part of this anime - its greek tragedy in the truest form. Fugaku didn't have a choice - he was stalked by ANBU - he didn't know that they were ROOT. In his mind, had he not struck first, his family would be anihilated.
What about the large amount of psychos? Indra, Madara, Obito, Itachi, Sasuke? Itachi tried to do a good thing, so he's out. Sasuke was manipulated by everyone and as a child he watched his family slaughtered - nobody would come from it sane. Indra was manipulated by black Zetsu. Obito was tortured and brainwashed by Madara. That leaves Madara, bitter war veteran, forced to surrender his army to his victorious foe, whose brother killed his own brother.
The concept of curse of hatred is unnecessary. What Uchicha are doing is typical human behaviour - it's Senju that are freaks, trying to be funny during war, desperately using diplomacy where words should have been forsaken long ago. Uchicha as a clan is not specifically evil, they are slightly arrogant and then targetted by manipulators.
Brackets as a mean to heighten angst. Something like second voice answering bitterly. It was probably supposed to be so artistic, mature, sarcastic. But it always sounds like a little whining boy, angrily but without any force behind him. I'm against angst as it is, but I always give a benefit of a doubt to the writer - maybe this whole angst was a mistake? He tried to show that protagonist is lost in his new circumstances and forgot that prologue should be short. But these brackets, like some tragic answering choir in theater shows that the author is proud of his errors!
Thoughts about fanoms
This setting is so bad that it slowly becomes good. In all honestly, I managed to read maybe only a half of canon. The rest I learnt from wiki and other fanfics. I couldn't do it - it was too dark, the atmosphere was too tense. Also, there wasn't a single character that I could point out and say "This one, this person is a great guy/cute girl". Literally every single person had traits that made them impossible to like. Then there is the difficulty - it's simply impossible to win, what with godlike entity - Scion and three Godzillas.
I have to admit that the world is quite big and detailed. Taking into account all of the flaws of canon, it makes a great sandbox for fanfics. However, unlike Harry Potter or Naruto, I woulnd't recommend reading the story without any changes.
Why I hate every single person in this setting:
She is a main heroine of this story. I'll admit, it is cool to some extent that she escalates. What I can't stand is that her cape career is just an escape from bullying. She gained powers, she is and already was suicidal because of school. However, she doesn't spend even a five minutes to think about improving her living situation. She doesn't try to capitalise on her accident - locker was at least looked by proper authorities, even if they eventually gave up. She had finally a point from which she could start legal offensive. Sadly, she never tries to use it, press advantage. She also doesn't try to use her new power to defend herself - monitoring, where her bullies are isn't worth mentioning. She could use her bugs to spy, overhear their talks and finally she would discover that Sophia is Ward. Or she could outright kill Emma and make her bugs eat the body - no evidence. The thing is, she doesn't do anything to protect herself - neither lawful nor qustionably moral attacks.
The sad thing is, after reading how she takes bullying after her trigger, I start to agree with Sophia of all people! SS, who is a monster with childish darwinish philosophy. But... Before trigger, the Ward is obviosly wrong - there is nothing that Taylor can do, no way to stand up. If she would really hit any of her bullies, the headmistress would have something really substantial to put in her files. Both Emma's father, who is a lawyer and teachers who want to have a Ward would do their best to destroy her. She has no path that she can take to make herself free, the system is against her. However, her powers and documented case of assault opens new possibilities. Still, she doesn't do anything, she's still waiting for someone with power to protect her. Well, hello! After the trigger you are the one with the power and if you still don't stand to protect yourself, than you really deserve to suffer.
Second major point that irritates me is how she wants to be a hero. There are many problems with it. I mentioned already the first one - it's only a substitute to avoid solving her real problems. But the most important thing is that she is willing to become a spy. Let's reiterate it: her life is hell, because her best friend betrayed her. She had no friends, no friendly soul to talk to. And now, there is a group that finally accepted her and trusts her. They are not perfect - being thieves and all... But they care for her. Her plan? Betray them. She is going to do the same thing that Emma did to her - betray her best friends. Once again, isn't Taylor a terrible creature that deserves all the suffering?
Looking for a whipping boy:
The thing that irritates me mostly in this setting is Taylor's reaction to her bullies. It's always "Today the bullying was too much. I need to fight gangs." I can't understand this type of mentality. She is bullied so she is looking for a substitute guilty party. There's no need for it, they are right before you! Instead of getting revenge on Emma, plotting ways of legally convicting Sophia, she thinks how to fight crime. She should start with her immediate problems first. Instead, Sophia hits her and a couple of hours later she hits E88 thugs. Where is logic in that? The icing on cake is "I'm better than my bullies" and than she hunts gangsters that haven't hurt her ever.
Shortly, usually Taylor ignores her issues, doesn't try to improve her personal life.