misfiredcanon
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Joined 03-19-05, id: 778573, Profile Updated: 03-19-15

Never PM me, because I'll never read the reply. I have activated the feature that blocks all attempts to do so. This account exists solely for the reason of signing on here and leaving reviews. I'm afraid it's a waste of time to write any response, as I won't be reading it. Just accept and move on.

Fic parings I hate:

Severus/Harry
Hermione/Harry
Ginny/Draco
Draco/Harry
Draco/Hermione
Severus/Hermione
Lucius/Severus
Voldemort/Lucius
Voldemort/Harry
Harry/Lucius

Severitus Lite fics (fics where Snape becomes Harry's adoptive father) are of interest, however. See Greengecko's "Resonance", "Revolution", and "Resolution" on this site. Severus mentoring fics are also favorites (see the brilliant "Me, Myself, and I" on this site for one where Snape uses the empathy he should have developed on the first day of classes with Harry (he is an accomplished Legillmens, is he not? And a spy, which means he loves to poke around in places off limits to most people, including the minds of others) in order to help (rather than harm) him.

Severus may be slightly OOC in these fics, but is of interest because he develops empathy for Harry. And although is he is absolutely atrocious at supervising the learning process and modeling what he wants his students to learn in Canon, these fics for the most part explore his (presumably) uncomfortable childhood background and his experience at being marked by Voldemort, things he does share in common with Harry. Severus is portrayed as realistically as possible in these fics; he still carries definite imperfections that resonate with his misanthropic portrayal in canon, but he can at least set them aside to develop a somewhat positive rapport with a child who hurts as much (really, even more) than he did as a young man, and who knows what it's like to be victimized by bullying.

I hate fics that scrub the warts off of Severus, simply because the author wants to explain away his nastiness. I linked to one of them through a forum in which I occasionally lurk (though really can't recommend), the DarkLordPotter website. It's called "The Birthday Present". I have read every one of the 85 chapters in increasing frustration simply because the author (who really should pursue her stated goal of writing her own fiction) canonizes Severus while sketching the rest of the characters in shades of gray that simply don't exist in Rowling's universe, and according to Rowling herself, aren't meant to. That bias has turned an otherwise well-told tale into one that has grown barely tolerable, and is notable only for the fluffing she receives from reviewers who write fics very similiar to hers.

Update: Well, so much for heeding the advice on the bio page. duj, one of the reviewers who regularly fluffs the author of 'The Birthday Present", sent me 3 botmessages in a row. (I couldn't resist looking to see if she responded). All of them were deleted unread. duj writes the sort of fanfics where Severus not only wears a halo, but is quite the studmuffin as well, though he is written in canon as having probably the most unsavory appearance of any male in the HP series other then Grawp, Wormtail, and the resurrected Voldemort. Go take a peek at her stories if you're the type who enjoys reading Self-Centered!Ungrateful! Harry, Puppet-Master!Dumbledore, and Attempted Murderer! Lupin (though not a shred of evidence in canon exists to support any of those characterizations). They really are quite a hoot.

And lastly, I know that Dumbledore has a Machiavellian streak. I understand that he is manipulative. JKR admits is much in several interviews with Mugglenet. However, Dumbledore is serving as a general in a war against a terrorist organization savaging a wizarding population, with the foresight to recognize that its disembodied leader will at some point return. I don't know how many of you have been soldiers, but I can tell you that war sometimes requires making command-level decisions that negatively impact people you care for very much. JKR has gone on record in intervies as stating that Dumbledore loves Harry, which is also explicitly mentioned in book 5. That Harry grew up neglected and unloved by his only living relatives is something that Dumbledore indeed should be burdened with, but how else to keep him surviving and intact for the role that he was prophesied to play? Furthermore, no canon evidence exists for Dumbledore being the sole supervising custodian of Harry's account(s) at Gringott's or for knowingly and with malice forethought keeping Sirius imprisoned in Azkaban to prevent him from raising Harry.

And yet the proliferation of amoral, borderline (or actually, actively) evil Dumbledore fanfics continue to multiply driven by plot bunnies that should have been clubbed to death at birth. Most are the written equivalent of explosive flatulence, full of sound and fury, but ultimately signifying nothing, because they're written strictly from the viewpoint of rebellious adolescents by rebellious adolescents; the rest have the benefit of hindsight and an axe against the character to grind, primarily because Severus Snape is not the unqualified hero of the series, with everything revolving around him.

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Carry Me Through by NewHampshireGirl reviews
Tony, Gibbs, and Vance have returned from Israel and the team is faced with the task of rebuilding, yet again. Post "Aliyah", Season 7 AU, NOT TIVA. Additional warnings posted inside.
NCIS - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 43 - Words: 122,489 - Reviews: 494 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 327 - Updated: 4/19 - Published: 4/28/2014 - Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Tony D., Tim M., OC
Chase MD by airmac reviews
Chase finds out, that House is alive.
House, M.D. - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 28,736 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 4/8 - Published: 9/24/2014 - R. Chase, G. House, J. Wilson, E. Foreman
Para Bellum by Lord Silvere reviews
An ambitious Voldemort prepares to lead his armies into the Delenda Est dimension to topple Minister Black III. But, he has lost the element of surprise, and there is a Pre-OotP dimension in between his dimension and the DE dimension where he will have to fight Minister Black's armies, spies, and civilian meddlers, not to mention two Harry Potters and the infamous Black Triplets.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 79,471 - Reviews: 443 - Favs: 1,152 - Follows: 1,481 - Updated: 1/2 - Published: 10/10/2013 - Harry P., Ginny W., Bellatrix L.
I'm Still Here by kathryn518 reviews
The second war with Voldemort never really ended, and there were no winners, certainly not Harry Potter who has lost everything. What will Harry do when a ritual from Voldemort sends him to another world? How will he manage in this new world in which he never existed, especially as he sees familiar events unfolding? Harry/Multi eventually.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 215,263 - Reviews: 1876 - Favs: 4,909 - Follows: 5,941 - Updated: 10/10/2014 - Published: 9/21/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G., Fleur D.
Weres Harry? by DobbyElfLord reviews
Dark curses don't play nice- not even with each other. When nine year-old Harry is bitten by a werewolf, the horcrux fights back. The result could only happen to Harry Potter. Canon-ish for the first three years of Hogwarts - AU from that point forward.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 152,524 - Reviews: 3379 - Favs: 6,572 - Follows: 7,508 - Updated: 8/15/2014 - Published: 5/11/2012 - Harry P.