Author has written 6 stories for Captain America, Gakuen Alice, Avatar: Last Airbender, and Fruits Basket.
Hey guys, I'm BlackApology.
Like many of you I kind of stumbled across fanfiction some years ago, and after years of debating on it finally began writing my own fics. I'm nearly done with college, only a couple classes left, and I am thoroughly broken. I didn't realize until I was supposed to graduate that I absolutely hate my major and only stuck with it because I thought that's what my family expected from me. Now I'm trying to pull myself back together and in the process have begun writing again after losing all creative spirit for a few years. Some weeks are better than others. In the meantime I'm taking each day as it comes and trying to look to the future.
I presently work one full-time job and a couple minor part-time jobs, so updates aren't always going to be regular. I have a goal of getting an apartment that allows animals so I can live with my baby, a chihuahua named Bubbles. He presently lives with my parents and I worry about his health now that he's getting old. Despite this reading and writing is a guilty pleasure of mine and when given the choice I'd rather stay home with my laptop any day. Who needs a social life? Or any life at all, for that matter? Joking aside, you guys mean a lot to me and I appreciate you all.
For those of you still trying to grasp what depression is, let me try to explain. In everyone there is a basic, fundamental feeling that everything's okay and that things can eventually get better. Depression is when you lose that. It's not something that people suffering from depression can just get over, or 'snap out' of. It's something that eventually just lifts randomly with no warning. Those good days are spent breathing fresh air and ignoring the dread constricting our lungs, wondering when the hopelessness will set back in again. Because it always does.
I'm completely fine.
F reaked out
Some days are spent needing to cry and not knowing why, wanting to scream but your lips are sealed shut. It's knowing you're supposed to be okay but for some reason you're not. It's wondering why you are your own least favorite person, and knowing that everything you're experiencing is ridiculous and irrational but you're still feeling it anyway. It's hearing a constant ringing of noise and sometimes realizing it's all in your head, and there are so many thoughts whirling around in there that you can't even try sorting them without getting overwhelmed. When everything is going so fast but you're going so slow and there's no way to make yourself speed up. ...And other days are spent in bed, dreading the start of another day and another week. And no matter what you tell yourself getting up is just too hard. So those days are spent numb, full of shame, crying or unable to, and knowing after today there's going to be another tomorrow. Which doesn't always seem like a good thing.
I'll put anything you need to know about my fics here.
-Edited a few spots to clarify Anila's age, and added the eventual pairing on the summary
-The site I found mention of the Mara on is http:// /2014/01/21/10-ancient-legends-about-dreams/ Just get rid of the space after http://
It's number 8 on the list
-Being revised to bring up the charaters' ages a few years. No major changes, but just letting you know that when I catch up to the original I'm going to delete the old one. Just so there aren't two nearly identical fics floating around.
-I've just about caught up to the original with the Revised version, so after the next chapter I'll be taking down the original one
-Finally caught up with the original Double Meanings, so to reduce confusion I took down the original version. All further posts will contain completely new information again! Eventually I'll take down the "Revised" bit of the title but for now I'm gonna leave it there as an explanation for anyone wondering where the original version went.
-I'm currently completely revising this story. I wrote it years ago so I'm going through with new knowledge on writing and a clearer view on how to bring the story forward how I intend. Plus, it was getting painful and I figured you guys probably felt the same to a degree. I will Not be deleting the original story when I finish the revised version. So you guys can go back and compare the changes? Not so much. Because I'm sentimental? Mmhmm.
-I changed my mind. I'll replace the original chapters as the new ones are rewritten and post under this to let you know when there's been an update.
Chapter 1 - Edited 2/17/21
Chapter 2 - Edited 2/18
Chapter 3 - Edited 3/8
Chapter 4 - Edited 3/8
Chapter 5 - Edited 3/28
Chapter 6 - Edited 4/7
Chapter 7 - Edited 4/18