Achille Talonhide bio
 Author has written 7 stories for Harry Potter, and Doctor Who. Hello! Achille Talon, a.k.a. Aristidus Twain, crafter of hopefully-entertaining Harry Potter fanfiction. If you wish to read one of my stories, I suggest you start with my most recent one, The Parselmouth of Gryffindor. Voldemort and the Struggle for Life, my oldest HP story, is actually pretty bad in retrospect, although I haven't the heart to delete it. |
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
The Black Family's PR Nightmare by elphabalives17 reviews
Cassiopeia Black may prefer research to family politics, but she refuses to allow her family name to be ruined after the events of fall 1981. With the help of a routine obsessed house elf, Cassiopeia sets out to spin the Black family's largest PR nightmare in 100 years with a lot of old magic, some luck, and her Squib brother's family... the Grangers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 70 - Words: 228,869 - Reviews: 3076 - Favs: 3,575 - Follows: 5,230 - Updated: 9/5 - Published: 7/15/2020 - Harry P., Hermione G., Blaise Z., Cassiopeia B.
Animagus at War by White Squirrel reviews
Sequel to The Accidental Animagus. Voldemort's back, and this time, he's not alone. Harry and his family are caught in the middle as the wizarding war goes international. Years 5-7.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 34 - Words: 217,963 - Reviews: 1162 - Favs: 3,341 - Follows: 4,850 - Updated: 4/30 - Published: 8/6/2016 - Harry P., Hermione G., Luna L., Neville L.
Darth Vader: Hero of Naboo by AkumaKami64 reviews
The Force often works in strange ways. That was never truer when Darth Vader, not Anakin Skywalker, found himself on Naboo during the Trade Federation occupation. How is the Republic to react to a Sith Lord that has committed no crime and is aiding Queen Amidala? And did I mention Vader wasn't the only one brought along the ride? No, it's not Luke or Leia.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 41 - Words: 208,950 - Reviews: 7288 - Favs: 15,403 - Follows: 16,925 - Updated: 3/26 - Published: 1/12/2016 - Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon J., Padmé Amidala - Complete
Seventh Horcrux by Emerald Ashes reviews
The presence of a foreign soul may have unexpected side effects on a growing child. I am Lord Volde...Harry Potter. I'm Harry Potter. In which Harry is insane, Hermione is a Dark Lady-in-training, Ginny is a minion, and Ron is confused.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 22 - Words: 104,285 - Reviews: 2049 - Favs: 11,780 - Follows: 5,654 - Updated: 7/12/2022 - Published: 9/7/2014 - Harry P. - Complete
Scribble Pad by White Squirrel reviews
An anthology of chapters I wrote for stories that ultimately didn't go anywhere, but might still be worth posting. Free to anyone who wants them.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 84,831 - Reviews: 412 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 3/27/2022 - Published: 7/12/2018 - Harry P.
A Sensational Story by Srikanth1808 reviews
ABANDONED: The sequel to "A Dramatic Reading" by White Squirrel - join Hogwarts and invited Ministry guests as they continue with a public reading of "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets", by J.K. Rowling. Please see last chapter - "Important Update" for details!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,618 - Reviews: 511 - Favs: 2,461 - Follows: 3,509 - Updated: 1/31/2022 - Published: 5/3/2017 - Harry P. - Complete
Sands of Destiny by amidtheflowers reviews
"Knockturn Alley," Hermione breathed, and a rush of relief flooded inside of her. At least she didn't end up amongst cavemen or dinosaurs. Time-turner fic. Sirius Black falls behind the veil, the time-turners are destroyed, and a Gryffindor is going to change history.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 27 - Words: 246,532 - Reviews: 1561 - Favs: 2,877 - Follows: 3,982 - Updated: 9/5/2021 - Published: 7/25/2011 - Hermione G., Sirius B.
Harry Is A Dragon, And That's Okay by Saphroneth reviews
Harry Potter is a dragon. He's been a dragon for several years, and frankly he's quite used to the idea - after all, in his experience nobody ever comments about it, so presumably it's just what happens sometimes. Magic, though, THAT is something entirely new. Comedy fic, leading on from the consequences of one... admittedly quite large... change. Cover art by amalgamzaku.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 102 - Words: 735,308 - Reviews: 3818 - Favs: 6,509 - Follows: 5,942 - Updated: 7/4/2021 - Published: 3/10/2019 - Harry P. - Complete
The Shadow of Angmar by Steelbadger reviews
The Master of Death is a dangerous title; many would claim to hold a position greater than Death. Harry is pulled to Middle-earth by the Witch King of Angmar in an attempt to bring Morgoth back to Arda. A year later Angmar falls and Harry is freed. What will he do with the eternity granted to him? Story begins 1000 years before LotR. Eventual major canon divergence.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 237,383 - Reviews: 6538 - Favs: 15,370 - Follows: 17,858 - Updated: 6/8/2021 - Published: 3/15/2015 - Harry P.
The Imposter Complex by Notus Oren reviews
Tom Riddle escapes at the end of Chamber of Secrets, and is quite surprised to find that nothing about the future is as he ever thought it would be. Soon, Tom finds himself on a globe-spanning quest to follow the path his forebear blazed and perhaps, at the end, to put a stop to him once and for all.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 42 - Words: 201,437 - Reviews: 529 - Favs: 1,083 - Follows: 1,381 - Updated: 6/2/2021 - Published: 5/1/2019 - Sirius B., Tom R. Jr., Avery
Serpent Mommy by AlmaArachnidFriendEmpress reviews
Six year old Harry, abandoned at the park one night, meets a kind talking serpent. Her name is Nagini. Once a human, once a witch, she claims. Their lives become entwined, as two destinies are altered in unexpected ways!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 133,201 - Reviews: 222 - Favs: 538 - Follows: 646 - Updated: 5/16/2021 - Published: 2/15/2021 - Harry P., Nagini
Honey and Magic by White Squirrel reviews
Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Matilda - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 52,718 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 571 - Follows: 629 - Updated: 4/18/2021 - Published: 7/29/2020 - Harry P., Cedric D., Matilda W., Miss. Honey - Complete
Second Chance, a new choice by moonbird reviews
Severus was dying in the shrieking shack, and he did indeed die. However, forces out of his control rendered him the ability to re-choose. going back and choose differently.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 86 - Words: 282,578 - Reviews: 1671 - Favs: 2,107 - Follows: 1,826 - Updated: 2/18/2021 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Lily Evans P., Severus S. - Complete
Barefoot by Zaxaramas reviews
Harry has the ability to learn the history of any object he touches, whether he wants to or not.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 56 - Words: 157,477 - Reviews: 3445 - Favs: 12,830 - Follows: 14,793 - Updated: 12/22/2020 - Published: 7/7/2015 - Harry P., N. Tonks
The Wheel Is Come Full Circle by White Squirrel reviews
Hermione goes to Australia to bring her parent home and gets a big surprise. It turns out her Memory Charm wasn't enough to fill the hole in their lives. Now, she has a new sister who will be starting at Hogwarts as she returns for her seventh year and deals with the aftermath of the war. Epilogue-compliant. UP FOR ADOPTION.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,898 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 398 - Follows: 590 - Updated: 9/21/2020 - Published: 4/3/2017 - Hermione G., OC
Wyrd Son by uresmania reviews
Maybe the insanity of the wizarding world isn't best countered with logic and rationality but by a more resilient sort of insanity. Harry ends up in the hands of the Wyrd Sisters and is excited to become the very best witch he can be.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 29,271 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 9/17/2020 - Published: 4/16/2018 - Harry P., Fawkes, GrannyWeatherwax
Entwined Souls by AlmaArachnidFriendEmpress
When a fragment of a darkest soul takes refuge in the body of an innocent baby, life is not one lived unscathed - nor unaffected. 11 year old Sadie Potter has lived her whole life knowing this as truth. Now, the time comes for the rest of the world around her to know the same. But will she find help, acceptance and comfort from those around her, or adversity and hate born of fear?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,090 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/17/2020 - Published: 9/13/2020
A Turn in Time Saves Nine by White Squirrel reviews
One-shot. Prisoner of Azkaban alternate ending. When they meet Sirius Black in the Shrieking Shack, instead of getting caught, Hermione grabs Harry and Time-Turns them away. Just like Dumbledore asked her to at the start of the year.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,116 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 215 - Published: 8/29/2020 - Harry P., Hermione G., Albus D. - Complete
We, Harry Potter by wille179 reviews
Down in the Chamber of Secrets, as Harry was dying from the basilisk venom, something awoke within his blood that began changing him, body, mind, and soul. The destruction of the horcrux in his head kicked that process in the metaphorical balls. Now, what are Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry, and Harry to do as a literal five-headed dragon? (Mostly fluff, no character bashing.)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 69,895 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 1,110 - Follows: 1,367 - Updated: 7/2/2020 - Published: 8/11/2017 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Rubeus H.
Hermione Granger and the Serpent's Renaissance by epsi10n reviews
Salazar Slytherin is reborn as Hermione Granger. With her new identity as a muggleborn girl and her old reputation in tatters, Hermione sets out to start a new life for herself, a resurrection for House Slytherin, and a renaissance for the whole of the magical society.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 98 - Words: 292,716 - Reviews: 4343 - Favs: 7,039 - Follows: 8,093 - Updated: 6/6/2020 - Published: 1/22/2015 - Hermione G., Salazar S.
Luna Lovegood and the Dark Lord's Diary by The madness in me reviews
Tom Riddle's plans fall through when Ginny Weasley loses his diary shortly after starting her first year and it is found by one Luna Lovegood. A series of bizarre conversations follow. Luna? - Yes Tom? - I've been giving this a lot of thought...and I believe you may be insane. (Not crack. Plot takes a while to appear but it's there) See last chapter for fan art and translations.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 101 - Words: 72,373 - Reviews: 4449 - Favs: 5,137 - Follows: 4,043 - Updated: 5/27/2020 - Published: 3/16/2017 - Luna L., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
The Absurd Academy by capostrophe reviews
If you have heard of a series called Harry Potter, you would be better off reading that instead. Only misery and woe awaits if you read about the Baudelaire children's time at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Such horrors lie inside as elves that cook lavish dinners, sorting ceremonies, humans with horse bodies and a very dangerous flying sporting match.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,510 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 4/2/2020 - Published: 3/15/2018 - Harry P., Violet B., Klaus B., Count O.
The Longest Day by NanashiSaito reviews
"ON THE LONGEST DAY OF THE THOUSANDTH YEAR, THE STARS WILL AID IN HER ESCAPE, AND SHE WILL BRING ABOUT NIGHTTIME ETERNAL" An alternate-universe continuation of Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, wherein Harry learns of a different, ancient, powerful kind of Magic. Spoiler alert: It's Friendship.
Crossover - Harry Potter & My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 109,092 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 2/28/2020 - Published: 2/5/2018 - Harry P., Hermione G., Twilight Sparkle, Discord - Complete
Secret potions club by The madness in me reviews
Side story to Luna Lovegood and the Dark Lords Diary. Snape starts a secret potions club with himself, Luna Lovegood and the Weasley twins. Chaos Ensues.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,006 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 658 - Follows: 696 - Updated: 2/1/2020 - Published: 5/4/2018 - Severus S., George W., Luna L., Fred W.
The Havoc side of the Force by Tsu Doh Nimh reviews
I have a singularly impressive talent for messing up the plans of very powerful people - both good and evil. Somehow, I'm always just in the right place at exactly the wrong time. What can I say? It's a gift.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Mystery - Chapters: 24 - Words: 207,600 - Reviews: 7730 - Favs: 18,568 - Follows: 20,639 - Updated: 8/24/2019 - Published: 9/6/2012 - Anakin Skywalker, Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Forests of Valbonë by enembee reviews
Long ago the Forests of Valbonë were closed to wizards and all were forbidden to set foot within them. So when, at the end of his second year, Harry becomes disenchanted with his life at Hogwarts, where else could he and his unlikely band of cohorts want to go? Join Harry on a trip into the unknown, where the only certainty is that he has absolutely no idea what he's doing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 118,942 - Reviews: 2328 - Favs: 3,993 - Follows: 3,419 - Updated: 7/18/2019 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Harry P., Sorting Hat - Complete
Why Time Travel Should Be Illegal and Other Morals by mugglesftw reviews
Ever dream of ending up in your favorite book? Think that sounds pretty awesome? Well you're wrong. Time travel sucks, alternate dimensions suck, and trying to raise young wizards without getting yourself killed and accidentally letting the bad guys win really sucks. But getting to give a kid the childhood he needs? Well, that just might make it worth it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 46 - Words: 208,635 - Reviews: 837 - Favs: 1,091 - Follows: 1,372 - Updated: 5/28/2019 - Published: 11/25/2017 - Harry P., Albus D., OC, Walden M.
Annals of Arithmancy by White Squirrel reviews
Part 3 of The Arithmancer Series. Hermione won the war, but her career as the world's greatest arithmancer is just beginning. Now, she has places to go, spells to invent, and a family to start. Oh, and a whole lot of dementors to kill.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 154,813 - Reviews: 1152 - Favs: 1,817 - Follows: 1,635 - Updated: 3/23/2019 - Published: 7/14/2018 - Hermione G., George W. - Complete
Blitz by White Squirrel reviews
One-shot. In an alternate history where the Blitz lasted a few months longer in London, the young Tom Riddle's life takes a very different turn.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,745 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 126 - Published: 3/2/2019 - Tom R. Jr., Gellert G. - Complete
The Fight For Rights by almalamaemperorkusko reviews
After ten years of silence in a cupboard with her only friends, the spiders, one of them talks to Annabelle Potter! As an arachnatongue - a witch who can understand spider language - Annabelle befriends and allies with spiders around the world as she goes out into it, and together they start an unstoppable change: The fight for the sentient rights of all sapient nonhuman species!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 150,762 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 1/3/2019 - Published: 1/2/2018 - Hermione G., Daphne G., Lisa T., Norberta
Meeting The Family by RonChee reviews
Harry Potter as much as he tried was never normal, so why should his love be any different? Watch as Harry brings home an assortment of oddities to introduce to his family. A snippet and one-shot selection of tales that will horrify, disgust and hopefully amuse you.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 4,762 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/3/2018 - Published: 8/26/2018 - Harry P.
The Angel's War by RubbishRobots reviews
SEQUEL TO THAT WHICH HOLDS THE IMAGE. Life. All normal and stuff. With jobs and houses and boring-y, woring-y things like that. Normality, as Harry Potter realises, does not attract mad men in little blue boxes, so any hope of seeing his old friend the Doctor again is pretty slim. But then Ginny Weasley notices the sky is falling, and everything goes completely to hell.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 43,766 - Reviews: 532 - Favs: 1,096 - Follows: 1,569 - Updated: 8/31/2018 - Published: 4/7/2013 - 11th Doctor, Harry P.
Reformed, Returned and Really Trying by Starfox5 reviews
AU. With Albus dead, there's only one wizard left to continue his fight. His oldest friend. His true love. There's no better choice for defeating a Dark Lord bent on murdering all muggleborns than the one wizard who gathered them under his banner once before. True, things went a little out of hand, but Gellert Grindelwald has changed. If only everyone else would realise this...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 52,946 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 1,622 - Follows: 836 - Updated: 8/31/2018 - Published: 8/25/2018 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Gellert G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Natural 20 by Sir Poley reviews
Milo, a genre-savvy D&D Wizard and Adventurer Extraordinaire is forced to attend Hogwarts, and soon finds himself plunged into a new adventure of magic, mad old Wizards, metagaming, misunderstandings, and munchkinry. Updates monthly.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dungeons and Dragons - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 74 - Words: 314,214 - Reviews: 7125 - Favs: 7,865 - Follows: 8,616 - Updated: 8/2/2018 - Published: 5/7/2012
Not All Stories Can Be Told by Drag0nst0rm reviews
Fili and Kili are determined to find out who created hobbits. Bilbo is running out of ways to avoid answering. This wouldn't be a problem if the truth wasn't quite so . . . Well, problematic. Now with bonus AU chapter: The Durins live . . . and Bilbo's secret is out.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,345 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 524 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 7/20/2018 - Published: 8/1/2016 - Thorin, Bilbo B., Fíli, Kíli - Complete
Lady Archimedes by White Squirrel reviews
Sequel to The Arithmancer. Years 5-7. Armed with a N.E.W.T. in Arithmancy after Voldemort's return, Hermione takes spellcrafting to new heights and must push the bounds of magic itself to help Harry defeat his enemy once and for all.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 82 - Words: 597,359 - Reviews: 5847 - Favs: 5,148 - Follows: 4,949 - Updated: 7/7/2018 - Published: 8/22/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G., George W., Ginny W. - Complete
Horrible Herbs and How to Harvest Them by CharmedQuill reviews
Neville's feeling restless after the Battle of Hogwarts, unsure what he wants to do with his life. Until Luna asks 'Why not go away'. Follow Neville on his journey around the world, battling beastly bulbs and taming terrible trees.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,829 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/26/2018 - Published: 2/19/2018 - Neville L.
The Unsuspecting side of the Force by Tsu Doh Nimh reviews
A companion fic to "The Havoc side of the Force". Extra scenes and different perspectives from that story.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 53,132 - Reviews: 1700 - Favs: 4,755 - Follows: 5,496 - Updated: 4/21/2018 - Published: 10/9/2012 - Anakin Skywalker, Harry P.
Parselbrat by Leikiz reviews
Harry discovers Parseltongue a little earlier. As magic goes, it's not very useful. It's enough to make a few friends though. And isn't that enough? (Fem!Harry)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 57,623 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 1,409 - Follows: 1,926 - Updated: 4/14/2018 - Published: 4/20/2017 - Harry P., Voldemort, Q. Quirrell, Nagini
Like a Red Headed Stepchild by mugglesftw reviews
Harry Potter was born with red hair, but the Dursley's always treated him like the proverbial red-headed stepchild. Once he enters the wizarding world however, everyone assumes he's just another Weasley. To Harry's surprise, the Weasleys don't seem to mind. Now written by Gilderoy Lockhart, against everyone's better judgement.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 186,112 - Reviews: 2283 - Favs: 4,050 - Follows: 3,489 - Updated: 4/8/2018 - Published: 2/25/2017 - Harry P., Ron W., Percy W., Fred W.
Revival by xingxingzf reviews
Severus Snape decided to revive the dead ones he cared about, and tried to prevent the end of the world by Harry Potter. In the meanwhile, a certain disappeared lord had his own agenda. Note: This is a Harry Potter and Methods of Rationality sub-fanfic, HPMOR compliant except for the last paragraph in Chapter 121.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 61 - Words: 162,081 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 3/21/2018 - Published: 3/20/2015 - Harry P., Severus S., Lucius M., Salazar S.
Weasley Girl: Secrets of the Past by Hyaroo reviews
Sequel to "Weasley Girl"! Potter's Gang are back for their second year at Hogwarts, and face a dramatic escape, a mysterious diary, a strange cat, a "loony" girl, a hidden monster and many past secrets coming to light. It looks like this year will be at least as eventful and dangerous as the previous one.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 23 - Words: 188,818 - Reviews: 553 - Favs: 822 - Follows: 939 - Updated: 3/7/2018 - Published: 12/17/2013 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Neville L. - Complete
Luna Lovegood, PI by mugglesftw reviews
A mystery lurks at the heart of Hogwarts castle. A tangled web of lies and subterfuge that is so deep, so all encompassing, that only a mind as unique as Luna Lovegood's could ever hope to perceive it. Together, Luna Lovegood and her trusty partner Sue Li must uncover the truth: Who took the electrical outlets in Hogwarts, and how is this keeping Professor Binn's employed?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,621 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 26 - Published: 1/14/2018 - Minerva M., Luna L., Su L., Sorting Hat - Complete
Harry Potter and a story not even concerning him at all by DrinkCocoa reviews
The war is over. The Order of the Phoenix was completely destroyed. Albus Dumbledore goes back in time to save the world. Complete, no bashing, no slash, Good!Dumbledore, Smart!Voldemort, winner of The Fan Fiction Creativity Award 7 times in the future that's in the past, mentioned in Doctor Who's Top 10 Time Travel Stories, Order of Merlin (First Class).
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/23/2017 - Albus D., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
Even Dementors Grieve by Jade the Silver Princess reviews
The Dementors have gathered in the Graveyard. The Graveyard s situated on an island not that far away from Azkaban. There they let their dead sleep for eternity and there they remember their dead on their anniversaries.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 643 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/23/2017 - Dementors - Complete
Hermione Granger, Demonologist by BrilliantLady reviews
Hermione was eight when she summoned her first demon. She was lonely. He asked what she wanted, and she said a friend to have tea parties with. It confused him a lot. But that wasn't going to stop him from striking a promising deal with the young witch. Dark!Hermione, Slytherin!Hermione, occult theme. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 50,955 - Reviews: 1361 - Favs: 5,351 - Follows: 2,827 - Updated: 10/19/2017 - Published: 8/14/2017 - Hermione G., Theodore N. - Complete
Dealing with the Death Eaters by Shattersoul reviews
Gilderoy Lockhart versus eight Death Eaters. Obvious who wins, right? Wrong. Written as a Halloween contest.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/16/2017 - Gilderoy L. - Complete
The Mirror by lovelyhanna reviews
The life of the Mirror of Erised
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 541 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/17/2017 - Mirror of Erised - Complete
Sherlock Holmes and the Adventure of the Seventh Safeguard by Charlotte Ann Kent reviews
When Scotland Yard is stumped by the murder of Amelia Bones Sherlock Holmes investigates the seemingly impossible locked room mystery. His conclusion? "They teleported." Seven months later they bump into a trio of teens in a London cafe and John Watson discovers that his friend was perfectly serious. They are now in the thick of the strangest case of the great detective's career.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 83,911 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 610 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 8/12/2017 - Published: 4/14/2017 - Harry P., Hermione G., Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Slightly Suggestive Handshake by The Solitary Sandpiper reviews
In order to increase 'the power the Dark Lord knows not,' Dumbledore gives baby Harry a powerful love potion. This bold move results in...unusual consequences. Witness Harry Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Boy-Who-Caught-the-Snitch-Two-Times, and Boy-Who-Conquered-Voldemort-But-Did-Not-Kill-Him at his very best...which is considerably less impressive than everyone expects. AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,087 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 8/12/2017 - Published: 3/4/2016 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G.
Trolling the Toad by Akela Victoire reviews
If his life at Hogwarts was going to be a living hell, then so was hers. She wouldn't know what hit her.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 53 - Words: 86,140 - Reviews: 918 - Favs: 2,199 - Follows: 1,831 - Updated: 8/11/2017 - Published: 8/12/2016 - Harry P., Dolores U. - Complete
Divided and Entwined by Starfox5 reviews
AU. Fudge doesn't try to ignore Voldemort's return at the end of the 4th Year. Instead, influenced by Malfoy, he tries to appease the Dark Lord. Many think that the rights of the muggleborns are a small price to pay to avoid a bloody war. Hermione Granger and the other muggleborns disagree. Vehemently.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 67 - Words: 643,288 - Reviews: 1973 - Favs: 2,038 - Follows: 1,679 - Updated: 7/29/2017 - Published: 4/23/2016 - [Ron W., Hermione G.] Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
Hermione Granger and the Perfectly Reasonable Explanation by Robin.Drew reviews
In 1991, a child came to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry with obvious gifts, but which few suspected would change the world... Oh, and Harry Potter enrolled that year as well. *** A few tweaks to canon, plus extrapolating Hermione's apparent intelligence realistically. I expect events to diverge fairly quickly. ;) *** cover image cc by-nc RooReynolds @ Flickr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 25 - Words: 123,707 - Reviews: 608 - Favs: 1,138 - Follows: 1,744 - Updated: 7/24/2017 - Published: 12/23/2013 - Hermione G.
Last Lord of the Sun by Lomonaaeren reviews
AU. When Albus Dumbledore visits Wool's Orphanage and sees the terror and rage in Tom Riddle, he decides he cannot leave the boy without a mentor. On the one hand, he may never make a Light wizard of him; on the other hand, he will keep him from going down the path of the Dark. Twoshot. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,972 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 475 - Follows: 197 - Updated: 7/13/2017 - Published: 7/12/2017 - Albus D., Tom R. Jr. - Complete
The Tinkerer by wickwynn reviews
The Dursley family, who valued normalcy above all else, would of course never dream of keeping their orphan nephew in a cupboard, or of making a spectacle of him. That isn't to say they wanted to spend all of their time and money on him, however. From the salvage of broken toys and unwanted junk, left alone to his own devices, Harry built dreams.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 195,755 - Reviews: 754 - Favs: 2,843 - Follows: 3,445 - Updated: 7/13/2017 - Published: 4/23/2017 - Harry P., Hermione G.
The many Deaths of Harry Potter by ShayneT reviews
In a world with a pragmatic, intelligent Voldemort, Harry discovers that he has the power to live, die and repeat until he gets it right.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 78 - Words: 242,571 - Reviews: 4338 - Favs: 8,485 - Follows: 5,233 - Updated: 6/14/2017 - Published: 3/1/2017 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Core Threads by theaceoffire reviews
A young boy in a dark cupboard is in great pain. An unusual power will allow him to heal himself, help others, and grow strong in a world of magic. Eventual God-like Harry, Unsure of eventual pairings. Alternate Universe, possible universe/dimension traveling in the future.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 73 - Words: 376,980 - Reviews: 6070 - Favs: 13,640 - Follows: 13,906 - Updated: 5/28/2017 - Published: 2/22/2014 - Harry P.
A Dramatic Reading by White Squirrel reviews
Umbridge finds seven books about Harry Potter from another dimension in the Room of Requirement and decides to read them aloud to the school in an ill-advised attempt to discredit Dumbledore. Hilarity ensues. Features an actual plot, realistic reactions, decent pacing, *and minimal quotations*.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 18 - Words: 56,657 - Reviews: 930 - Favs: 4,080 - Follows: 2,631 - Updated: 4/2/2017 - Published: 1/15/2017 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Memories of a Sociopath by qbsmd reviews
Second-year sequel to Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, where Harry deals with the aftermath of the previous year as well as new difficulties.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 22 - Words: 86,561 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 3/24/2017 - Published: 7/22/2015
Crossing Lines by martianhop reviews
Taking an aging potion was Fred and George Weasley's backup plan for getting past Dumbledore's age line in GoF. Their initial idea, though... Well, finding themselves 18 years in the past was not part of the plan. Marauders era. No bashing.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 64,421 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 586 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 2/6/2017 - Published: 6/11/2016 - Severus S., George W., Fred W., Marauders - Complete
The Monster's Monster by TheFourthBroomstick reviews
Something in the Forbidden Forest is killing Acromantulas
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Horror/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,115 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/6/2017 - Aragog - Complete
Long Live The Queen by offsides reviews
With Harry Potter's hearing for Underage Use of Magic looming, and Sirius Black hunted for a crime he didn't commit and was never tried for, Harry reaches out to Her Majesty the Queen for help, with unexpected results. No ships. AU starting Ch 6-9 OotP, No HBP, No DH, No Horcruxes. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 44 - Words: 174,577 - Reviews: 4802 - Favs: 12,441 - Follows: 9,075 - Updated: 10/27/2016 - Published: 9/11/2015 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
The Letter by mango-melone reviews
"'Dear Mr Godfather,' the letter read, 'My name is Harry Potter, and I'm living with my aunt and uncle, but I don't like it very much.'" When through an act of desperation and accidental magic a letter finds its way into Azkaban, Sirius Black decides that his godson needs him. But how do you take care of a child when you're a wanted criminal?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 93,756 - Reviews: 591 - Favs: 2,062 - Follows: 1,347 - Updated: 10/22/2016 - Published: 6/11/2016 - Harry P., Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
HOGWARTS-BOT! ROLL OUT! by PixelKind413 reviews
After Slytherin made his Chamber of Secrets, all the other founders made their own secret rooms. Ravenclaw made her own super-secret Librarium, Hufflepuff made the Room of Requirement, and Gryffindor? He decided to outdo them all. [Oneshot, crackfic, vaguely AU]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,762 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 36 - Published: 10/5/2016 - Complete
The Resurrection Stone by Kazahana Yukina reviews
"By the windswept grass at the foot of the rotting holly, he bends down and digs it out from where the centaurs' hooves had buried it". What if after the Final Battle, Harry keeps the Stone for a greater purpose? A story of healing and the circle coming in full. One shot based on marauders4evr's headcanon. This story is dedicated to marauders4evr.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,074 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/1/2016 - Harry P. - Complete
Community Service by Balthanon reviews
Wherein Dumbledore trades a pair of socks, a package of chocolate frogs, and a warm fire for an extra day in the office and we learn that being well-rested is overrated.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,176 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 525 - Follows: 160 - Published: 1/11/2016 - Harry P., Sirius B., Albus D. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Garden of Intrigue by Azjerban reviews
In which Harry understands Victorian flower language at age 11. Events grow gradually further and further from the original. Features CharacterDevelopment!Crabbe and Goyle, and many other not-quite-expected variations. This story has reached its conclusion; enjoy. Watch out for the April Fools' chapter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 69 - Words: 242,410 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 672 - Follows: 618 - Updated: 1/1/2016 - Published: 4/17/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
What Was Your Plan? by SpoonandJohn reviews
Harry has just begun his showdown with Evil!Dumbledore. Having shouted the various crimes perpetrated against him, he is unprepared for how the rest of the confrontation goes. ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,873 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 724 - Follows: 248 - Published: 11/13/2015 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
Following the Phoenix by hezzel reviews
A single-/dual-point-of-departure spinoff from Less Wrong's brilliant story "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality", branching away in Chapter 81. Hermione is sent to Azkaban, but Harry is not about to give up. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like his enemy is about to leave things alone either.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 37 - Words: 260,387 - Reviews: 415 - Favs: 636 - Follows: 534 - Updated: 8/21/2015 - Published: 8/21/2014 - Harry P., Hermione G., Albus D., Q. Quirrell - Complete
Throwing Out the Script by Formulaic reviews
One year into Voldemort's rein, a confrontation with the Dark Lord catapults the Boy-Who-Lived into 1975. Will he be content to sit around and let the past repeat itself? Absolutely not. Time Travel. Not very HBP or DH compliant. Awesome!Harry. Eventual Harry/Lily/Narcissa/Bellatrix. Not a smutfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 29,339 - Reviews: 521 - Favs: 3,435 - Follows: 4,348 - Updated: 8/17/2015 - Published: 10/13/2013 - [Harry P., Lily Evans P., Bellatrix L., Narcissa M.]
In front of the Fireplace by KeepCalmFanFicExists reviews
Receiving a new pet is a big responsibility, and so is moving into a new home. Four one-shots with Bellatrix and Voldemort going though each experience are presented here. Current: Young Tom Riddle is having the most terrible day when a huge green snake pays him a visit. Her idea of fun includes a cave and two orphans. Her name? Nagini...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,418 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/10/2015 - Published: 4/20/2015 - Voldemort, Bellatrix L., Tom R. Jr., Rodolphus L. - Complete
One-Eighth Of A Chance by Hyaroo reviews
Another "Voldemort Meets Discworld's Death" story. Written for the Spacebattles forum, shouldn't be taken too seriously.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 51 - Published: 4/20/2015
One Every Minute by Kevin3 reviews
Harry's fourth year was going to suck. Oh, if only he could find some way of turning on his surely-existent powers of super-wizardry. He had those, right? It must be fate that Harry happens to run into the perfect wandering saleswizard. Humor/Parody.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,761 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 20 - Published: 4/6/2015
One World by Stellar Magic reviews
In J.K. Rowling's first draft it wasn't Hagrid that found Harry Potter in Godric's Hollow, but a lowly dentist named Granger. What if he had? Harry Potter is brought before the muggle authorities, an apparent orphan. With Daniel Granger named the child's temporary guardian, he disappears into the muggle world. LittleBro!Harry, BigSis!Hermione. Not a HP/HG Ship. Canon Pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 29 - Words: 154,636 - Reviews: 838 - Favs: 1,920 - Follows: 2,466 - Updated: 3/18/2015 - Published: 2/9/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G., Ginny W., Ron W.
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 36943 - Favs: 30,592 - Follows: 22,223 - Updated: 3/14/2015 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Warrior's Code by bballgirl32 reviews
An odd, dark-haired man rescues Harry from the Dursleys when he's nine years old. Harry would have been thrilled if his saviour didn't claim to be a disillusioned madman come back in time to stop his other self from taking over the world. Add to that his apparent belief that Harry is important to his plans, and things become just a little bit complicated.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 42,678 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 652 - Follows: 897 - Updated: 3/11/2015 - Published: 9/6/2014 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr.
The Many Harry Potters of Little Hangleton by VivyPotter reviews
Also known as 'Harry and Voldemort Explore Fanfiction Tropes Together'. Different Harry Potters visit Little Hangleton, and Voldemort's the only one with much sense around here. I almost feel sorry for him. Includes Slytherin!Harry, Fem!Harry, Plothole!Harry, Flamboyant!Harry, Joker!Harry, Dark!Harry and more.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 112 - Words: 64,654 - Reviews: 2967 - Favs: 2,322 - Follows: 1,417 - Updated: 12/30/2014 - Published: 5/11/2014 - Harry P., Voldemort, Peter P. - Complete
What If? by Little Miss Lovejoy reviews
Scrooge reminisces and dreams of what could have been, in regards to him and Goldie. (Rated T only for implication of sex really to be safe)
Uncle Scrooge - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,554 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/2/2014 - Complete
Harry's Wand Gets Around by Kevin3 reviews
Harry's Wand just can't seem to make up its mind on who it belongs to... resulting in a world where Gilderoy Lockhart stops Pomona Sprout from ruining Albus Dumbledore's chances of killing Lord Voldemort. Humor one-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,427 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/3/2014
To Be a Hero by bballgirl32 reviews
Time Travel. A disillusioned Draco Malfoy sends his soul back in time to keep Voldemort from winning the war. What's a cunning, ambitious eleven-year-old to do in such a situation? Oddly enough, it might not be what a person would think.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 26,600 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 199 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 10/2/2014 - Published: 8/29/2014 - Draco M.
To the Waters and the Wild by Paimpont reviews
While flying back from Godric's Hollow, Hagrid accidentally drops baby Harry over a wild forest. Harry is raised by rebel fairies until his Hogwarts letter arrives. The Dark Lord is in for a surprise... HP/LV romance. SLASH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 62,146 - Reviews: 6050 - Favs: 11,839 - Follows: 12,729 - Updated: 2/21/2014 - Published: 4/3/2012 - Harry P., Voldemort
Honestly, Harry! by AvalonianDream reviews
Harry and Hermione exploit various aspects of magic as defined in fanfiction to achieve tremendous succes in stupidly easy ways.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,798 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 1,949 - Follows: 1,501 - Updated: 1/12/2014 - Published: 12/5/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Weasley Girl by Hyaroo reviews
AU: The first wizarding friend Harry made wasn't Ronald Weasley... it was Veronica "Ronnie" Weasley, first-born daughter in the Weasley clan for generations. And suddenly the future of the wizarding world, not to mention Harry's first year at Hogwarts, looked very different. Not a canon rehash, not a romance. STORY COMPLETE, SEQUEL POSTED
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 107,263 - Reviews: 472 - Favs: 1,201 - Follows: 667 - Updated: 12/17/2013 - Published: 6/10/2012 - Harry P., Ron W., Hermione G., Neville L. - Complete
The Dementors' Doctor by Lucenthia reviews
The Doctor, Amy and Rory get flung into a magical adventure right on their doorstep. COMPLETE
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 18,074 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 6/19/2013 - Published: 4/11/2013 - Complete
Harry amidst the Vaults of Stone by NothingPretentious reviews
Following the fall of Voldemort, it is up to the Gringotts goblins to carry out the terms of the Potters' will. What will happen when young Harry Potter - halfblood, Parselmouth, curse-scarred, outsider - is raised in the stalagmite city of Underfoot?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 28 - Words: 157,245 - Reviews: 2267 - Favs: 4,193 - Follows: 4,800 - Updated: 5/24/2013 - Published: 2/23/2011 - Harry P.
In the Mind of a Scientist by ZenoNoKyuubi reviews
Harry Potter wasn't raised like in canon. He was top of his class, and very intelligent, always seeking to improve things, and so he learned all kinds of things, and, upon entering Hogwarts, started studying all he could get his hands on! Intelligent!Super!Harry Later Mad Scientist!Harry Rated M for Language, Nudity, and Gore Stein-ish Harry Genres: Humor/Romance/slight Horror
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 82,520 - Reviews: 2211 - Favs: 9,693 - Follows: 5,129 - Updated: 5/4/2013 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Harry P., N. Tonks - Complete
That Which Holds The Image by RubbishRobots reviews
Harry Potter faces a boggart that doesn't turn into a Dementor or even Voldermort, but into a horror from his childhood. Now the boggart isn't even a boggart anymore. There's no imitation. That which holds the image of an Angel, becomes itself an Angel.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,036 - Reviews: 1268 - Favs: 3,845 - Follows: 1,831 - Updated: 4/14/2013 - Published: 7/7/2011 - 11th Doctor, Harry P. - Complete
A Curse of Truth by butalearner reviews
An avid fanfiction reader falls into the Harry Potter Universe just before the Triwizard Tournament, and has to come to terms with what he's lost, take advantage of what he's gained, and figure out how to deal with the truths he's hiding. Complete! Detailed rune magic, witty banter...not your usual SI, so give it a shot! See my author page for more info.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 198,847 - Reviews: 1338 - Favs: 4,748 - Follows: 2,732 - Updated: 3/3/2013 - Published: 10/6/2012 - Harry P., Hermione G., OC, Daphne G. - Complete
Don't Waste It by Sarah1281 reviews
Sooner or later, every character gets their shot at a second chance. This is Peter Pettigrew's. He may not deserve it but he certainly wasn't happy with how things ended up. The only question was how to get a better future without having to possess the kind of bravery that the lack of had sent him running to Voldemort in the first place...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,698 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 771 - Follows: 258 - Updated: 11/10/2012 - Published: 11/3/2012 - Marauders, Lily Evans P. - Complete
Fantastic Elves and Where to Find Them by evansentranced reviews
After the Dursleys abandon six year old Harry in a park in Kent, Harry comes to the realization that he is an elf. Not a house elf, though. A forest elf. Never mind wizards vs muggles; Harry has his own thing going on. Character study, pre-Hogwarts, NOT a creature!fic, slightly cracky.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 38,289 - Reviews: 981 - Favs: 5,728 - Follows: 2,301 - Updated: 9/8/2012 - Published: 6/8/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
When In Doubt, Obliviate by Sarah1281 reviews
When a chance meeting reveals Harry's planned fate to Lockhart, he knows what he has to do: rescue him and raise him as his own to properly manage his celebrity status. Harry gets a magical upbringing, Lockhart gets the Boy-Who-Lived...everybody wins!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 114,644 - Reviews: 3080 - Favs: 3,906 - Follows: 2,351 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 1/8/2011 - Harry P., Gilderoy L. - Complete
A Series of Unfortunate Horcruxes by tea berry blue reviews
Albus Severus Potter encounters Count Olaf on the Hogwarts Express
Crossover - Harry Potter & Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,896 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/11/2012 - Albus S. P., Count O. - Complete
Mandragora by NothingPretentious reviews
Consider the curiously humanoid mandrake root, or mandragora. It is hideously ugly, deadly dangerous, and a powerful restorative. Why would anything else matter? * * A tale of horror. Please review. * *
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,449 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 836 - Follows: 134 - Published: 2/23/2012 - P. Sprout - Complete
Cantus Nobilis I: Demons' Run by x-Avarice-x reviews
"He knows who you are, but not who you were." The Doctor's adventures through military compounds, Nazis, the Silence, and old friends takes him on a journey that will reveal the final, impossible truth about the real identity of River Song. *Post AGMGTW*
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 34,767 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 8/12/2011 - 11th Doctor, River Song/Melody P. III - Complete
The Apprentice by Deborah Peters reviews
In 1998, Severus Snape was given a second chance. In 1976, he has to figure out how to take it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 94,312 - Reviews: 1151 - Favs: 2,126 - Follows: 2,199 - Updated: 9/28/2011 - Published: 9/7/2010 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
Letter from Boa by HerFairy reviews
When Harry wonders what happened to the first sort-of friend he had, even if it was just a snake, he's surprised to get a mysterious letter from said snake, telling him about his life... honestly, he got to Brazil? Harry wondered if that was true...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,640 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 81 - Published: 6/14/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Harry Potter: Dark Memories by Blueowl reviews
Voldemort didn't just give Harry some of his powers that night. He gave him all of his memories. With them, his allies and friends, Harry shall change the Wizarding World like no one ever before. LightHarry. GoodDumbledore. Chaotic magic. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 57 - Words: 301,128 - Reviews: 5295 - Favs: 11,475 - Follows: 5,567 - Updated: 7/14/2010 - Published: 7/13/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Hedwig and the Goblet of Fire by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Harry uses Hedwig to test the restrictions on the Goblet of Fire. Obviously, they're not good enough to stop the smartest owl in Britain!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,993 - Reviews: 552 - Favs: 5,290 - Follows: 1,486 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Harry P., Parvati P. - Complete
Run that by me again? by Sarah1281 reviews
Ever wonder 'Why don't they just do that' "A lot of the greatest wizards haven't got an ounce of logic." Harry and Hermione, however, were raised in the muggle world and are therefore fully capable of thinking things through...A collection of of one-shots
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 53,842 - Reviews: 2131 - Favs: 4,336 - Follows: 2,937 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Sleight of Hand by k123 reviews
Because Genies were bottled for a reason.
Aladdin - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 566 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 27 - Published: 4/16/2009 - Genie - Complete
House Elf Harry by Molly Morrison reviews
Everyone at Hogwarts is in for a surprise when they meet Harry Potter; his upbringing didn't turn out exactly how anyone expected. AU!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,402 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 352 - Follows: 539 - Updated: 4/3/2009 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Harry P.
Where Does It Keep Its Brain? by Sarah1281 reviews
What if, instead of going back for Ginny's diary, Arthur decided to owl it to her? What if he discovered it wrote back? What if he took this knowledge to Moody and Dumbledore? The Chamber of Secrets has NOT been opened. Enemies of the heir, rejoice.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,839 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 595 - Follows: 169 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Arthur W. - Complete
No Thank You by Sarah1281 reviews
What if the Dursley family had taken the more practical route of treating Harry kindly in order to keep him away from magic? What if it worked? What if he wants nothing to do with the wizarding world and Dumbledore has to solve his own problems for once?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,608 - Reviews: 424 - Favs: 2,617 - Follows: 694 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
End Of the Line by shewhoguards reviews
Hell was, Snape decided, a crowded railway platform.Post Deathly Hallows. Contains spoilers.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Discworld - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,933 - Reviews: 855 - Favs: 2,620 - Follows: 745 - Updated: 10/31/2008 - Published: 7/22/2007 - Severus S. - Complete
So You've Decided to Be Evil by Evadne reviews
Harry Potter discovers there are things far, far more annoying than Death.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,600 - Reviews: 516 - Favs: 1,799 - Follows: 1,285 - Updated: 12/1/2007 - Published: 3/3/2006 - Voldemort, Harry P.
Soft As A Dementor's Kiss by shewhoguards reviews
The first thing it knew was the hunger. Life from a Dementor's point of view.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,764 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 14 - Published: 10/24/2007 - Complete
Death and King's Cross by sciathan file reviews
[DH Spoilers, One shot] Who was to know Death had etiquette enough to be personalized? Ensemble fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,611 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 30 - Published: 10/4/2007 - Severus S., Sirius B. - Complete
Mudblood by Sarah1281 reviews
"Mudblood? Is that your idea of an insult or something?" Draco attempts to explain to Hermione why she should be offended.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,021 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 1,513 - Follows: 310 - Published: 9/7/2007 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Colorless Green Ideas Sleep Furiously by Kabinett reviews
Luna Lovegood has a strong suspicion that the card catalogue in the Hogwarts library was sentient. Ginny is quite, quite sure that she's insane. What if they are both right?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,819 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/23/2007 - Luna L., Ginny W. - Complete
Chocolate Frog cards by Bagge reviews
Albus once said that he didn't care what the ministry did to him, as long as they didn't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards... What's so special about those cards, I wonder?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,423 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 59 - Published: 9/25/2006 - Albus D., Sirius B. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Dimensional Trunk by Ophiuchus reviews
Post OOTP. COMPLETED. Harry's 6th year will be another exciting year. How does the trunk Ron gave him help his fight against V? Pre HBP. HG RHr
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 272,782 - Reviews: 521 - Favs: 1,786 - Follows: 525 - Updated: 8/7/2005 - Published: 6/27/2005 - Complete
SemiSentient by PurpleCarrot reviews
The Whomping Willow has claimed a victim at Hogwarts, and the Ministry wonders wheather the Willow is a non-sentient being or not.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,174 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/8/2005
The Stag and the Dragon by Kenya Starflight reviews
Crossover and OoTP AU. It's Harry's fifth year, and a desperate Dumbledore hires a new Dark Arts teacher who might prove to wreak more havoc than Umbridge ever could... Darth Vader.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 21 - Words: 76,240 - Reviews: 773 - Favs: 1,275 - Follows: 414 - Updated: 5/6/2005 - Published: 10/21/2004 - Darth Vader, Harry P. - Complete
Dementors by Myranya reviews
Hermione is sent to Azkaban for using the Killing Curse. Can she survive the Dementors?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 33,572 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 367 - Follows: 202 - Updated: 6/3/2004 - Published: 11/2/2003 - Hermione G.
By Rubeus Hagrid by arcessita reviews
Hagrid's newest pets
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 653 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/18/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Harry Potter and the Rest of the Sentence reviews
Brought to you by the questionable genius of machine learning, it's the exciting sequel to "Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash"! Botnik Studios is not responsible for any faces eaten by Harry Potter with hot sauce, headmaster hair scooting next to you at breakfast, or ribs fractured in hysterical laughter. Weekly updates.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,102 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/2/2019 - Published: 11/18/2018
The Parselmouth of Gryffindor reviews
Hermione Granger was born a Parselmouth and arrives at Hogwarts with less trust in authority (after all, muggle science somehow missed snake sentience), and a mission to prove snakes are people too. And Goblins. And Acromantulas. And… Merlin. Hogwarts isn't prepared for this, the Wizarding World isn't prepared for this, and Voldemort is *especially* not prepared for this. ON HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 81 - Words: 274,382 - Reviews: 736 - Favs: 1,270 - Follows: 1,602 - Updated: 8/1/2019 - Published: 10/9/2017
The Dalek Invasion of Hogwarts reviews
In the year 1991 A.D., an emergency temporal shift landed Dalek Unit E-K-79 on a planet full of disgusting inferiors waving sticks about as though they were blasters. The mysterious disappearance of a nosy Hogwarts student turns out to be the first blow in what will come to be known as the Dalek Invasion of Hogwarts… as narrated here by the interested party Herself!
Crossover - Doctor Who & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 841 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 30 - Published: 7/19/2018 - TARDIS, Daleks, 12th Doctor, Harry P.
Tom Riddle and the Sorcerers' Stones reviews
Thanks to the love of a mother, the part of Voldemort inside Harry's scar gets a second chance. Sent back to life and back to Earth with a mission to bring down his other self, can he resist the temptation to go back to his old ways? ON HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,741 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 8/16/2017 - Published: 6/7/2017 - Voldemort, Tom R. Jr., Merope G., Death
The Innocent Dementor reviews
The Dementors of Azkaban are soul-sucking monsters, but only becaused their own parents raised them that way. A young Dementor grows up alone in an abandoned wizarding castle, and when he faces the outside world's Dementors and the wizards' opinion of them, it comes as quite a shock. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,708 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 2/24/2017 - Published: 1/21/2017
Voldemort and the Struggle for Life reviews
AU diverging at Harry and Voldemort's confrontation in front of the Mirror of Erised (details in preface). What if Voldemort was not, actually, as evil as the (vague) stories told to Harry up to that point make him out to be? ABANDONED
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,620 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 12/26/2016 - Published: 8/12/2016 - Harry P., Tom R. Jr., Q. Quirrell - Complete
Prophecy Averted reviews
Single point of divergence, one-shot. The Death Eaters succeed in getting the Prophecy to Voldemort, and this rather changes matters. Lord Voldemort wants to kill Harry Potter, yes, but he won't be the toy of Fate.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 920 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 18 - Published: 12/18/2016 - Complete