Author has written 5 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, Misc. Books, Kingdom Hearts, and Criminal Minds.
What I'm working on: Gah, sorry for the disappearing act. Coming off of a writing hiatus now that life has finally decided to settle down. New chapter of CID is done and in the BETA process, next up is the next chapter of NLALD. Also bouncing around the idea of doing a multi-chapter Criminal Minds fic but probably won't get started on that until I get caught up with two ongoing fics.
Her next few months with the circus went poorly for young Lyf. After a particularly disastrous event involving a pomegranate, a butter knife and three tight rope walkers, Lyf ran away from the circus, laughing at the irony the whole way. She soon found herself in woods of Transylvania where she was adopted by a wild wolf pack. Her wolf family taught her that social etiquette that she had never been able to observe from her barbaric parents, such as petting puppies instead of kicking them and not peeing near where you sleep.
Despite the love and support her wolf family provided, Lyf felt alienated because of her opposable thumbs. Leaving her four legged days behind, Lyf joined a troupe of traveling gypsies where she earned her share by playing the clarinet and doing bad impersonations of the Pope. Their travels took them across the world and during a brief stop in Japan, most of Lyf’s troupe became addicted to Opium. Lyf was able to cure their addiction by substituting their drugs with Ramen noodles, which were much cheaper and not illegal in European countries.
During one show in Avignon, France, Lyf’s terrible Pope impersonations where actually taken as fact and she was made Pope, causing a split between French Catholics and Italian Catholics. Unfortunately, after mistakenly telling the French King that she doubted that Noah really managed to repopulate the panda species with only one pair of pandas, considering how hard it is to get those things to mate, she was thrown back out on the street.
She then joined of team of scientists bent on proving that the world was round. After a few months of sailing and near fatal contraction of scurvy, the team discovered that they were entirely wrong and proceeded to fall off the face of the Earth. Consequently, Lyf then vowed to become an avid member of the Flat Earth Society and has remained loyal to the society ever since.
What the crew didn’t realized was that by falling off the Earth they were flying through time and eventually landed in the mid-1990s. While most of the crew formed cheesy boy bands to earn money, Lyf decided to live off the work of others. She convinced an average middle class American family to adopt her by using the dreaded “puppy dog pout” learned from her wolf family. Using her natural talent for adaption, Lyf quickly integrated herself into her new world by collecting beanie babies and introducing herself to a few local hooligans with the help of Pokemon trading cards. Referred to as “The Mastermind” or the “Führer” to her newly brainwashed underlings, Lyf began her quest for World Domination in between downloading music from questionable sources and scrapbooking her calculus projects.
In the early 21st century, she faced various assassinations attempts by some of her trusted underlings and one rather effective distraction in the form of yaoi. Her first conquest was a significant portion of Australia which she set up as the base of her operation. In Australia, she joined forces with a zombie Steve Irwin and captured a dragon with the help of a pair of amorous bunny rabbits that quickly overpopulated the continent and destroyed the dragon’s natural prey. Lyf then tamed this dragon and called it Quintin with the intent of using it to further her military abilities but instead the dragon spends most of its time sleeping under her bed and eating stray socks that fall within its grasp.
Her plans for world domination fell apart a few years later when her parents made her get a job, which left no time for scheming. Nowadays, without the pursuit of world domination to distract her, Lyf’s addiction to Ramen and yaoi have once again taken control of her life. She currently has a grand plan to go to medical school and become a doctor and recapture her ambitious drive but may wimp out and settle on art instead.
Well... now's the time in the profile where we put some silly facts or quotes here, isn't it?
You're only young once but you can be immature forever.
No matter how bad things get, you got to go on living, even if it kills you.
I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move.
A synonym is a word you use when you can’t spell the word you first thought of.
There is an art, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
Zach: (excitedly) The Anthropology Journal is publishing our piece on the Coronals suture.
Zach: Hey, I’m a rationalist and purist all the way. Unless you talk to my mother. Then I’m Lutheran.
Hodgins: I clicked on a pop-up and got caught in a pornado.
House: Everybody lies.
House: It's never lupus.
Adler: Wasn't there something they could do?
(Straight Writer for Gay Rights!)
1) Being gay is not natural. People always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Briteny Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage
During World War II, bakers in the United States were ordered to stop selling sliced bread for the duration of the war on January 18, 1943.
It was never explained how this action helped the war effort.