Author has written 8 stories for Yu Yu Hakusho, Avatar: Last Airbender, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, Dragon Ball Z, and One Piece.
6/23/12: Hey. As of now, I just want everyone to know that I have not abandoned my stories. I'm just in the midst of serious writer's block. But more importantly, I just want to address the issue of the recent purge of fanfictions and the group "Critics United," a group of people who have taken it upon themselves to report stories that are supposedly in violation of the rules. However, while they might have started out with good intentions, they have been accused of cyber-bullying, harassing authors to make them take their stories down. One person has reported that his friend committed suicide from the comments that had been made by members of this group. STOP CYBER BULLYING. If you support the cause, please sign the petition at . We only need about 70 more signatures, but the more, the better. Let's show these self-labeled critics that we don't want them picking on us because they think our works are inferior to them, and that we won't take their bullying! Thank you.
My favorite quotes. I have a lot of them, so if you want to get straight to the stories, I suggest clicking "hide bio."
1. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!
2. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and taste good with ketchup
3. You! Off my planet!
4. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
5. How do I set my laser printer to stun?
6. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
7. Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
8. Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
9. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
10. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
11. Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children. -Samuel Levenson
12. The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'
13. The problem with political jokes is they get elected. -Henry Cate
14. The only victory over love is flight. -Napoleon
15. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -Oscar Wilde
16. I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks. -Winston Churchill
17. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
18. I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever.
19. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. -Ashleigh Brilliant
20. Come to the dark side... We have cookies!
21. When I get the urge to clean, I lay down until it passes
21. It's tourist season, so why can't I shoot them?
22. That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again
23. If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished
24. This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.
25. They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles.
26. If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
27. When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them on the head
28. I'm a nobody. Nobody's perfect, Therefore, that makes me perfect.
29. I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines
30. Bob: But mom! All my friends are doing it!
Bob's Mom: If your friends jumped off a building, would you?
Bob: Yes, because then there would be padding for when I landed!
31. Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
31. "Everything has a purpose" he said for no reason at all
32. I'm not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am.
33. Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it; those who studied it are doomed to know it's repeating.
34. Despite the rising cost of living, it remains a popular activity
35. Like Daddy always said: If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
36. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
37. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
38. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
39. Why is abbreviation such a long word?
40. What's another word for thesaurus?
41. If you were under house arrest, and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn't you be able to go anywhere you want?
42. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken over there... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt"?
43. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run- He hates that.
44. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
45. It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty... Drink it and get on with your life.
46. Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it.
47. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
48. How can there be self help groups?
49. Therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is cheap!
50. Thank God I'm an atheist- Luis Bunuel
51. I have the body of an 18 year old. I keep it in the fridge- Spike Milligan
52. Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet- Robin Williams
53. Behind every man there is a good woman, and behind that another man looking at her ass.
54. They say 1 in every 5 people is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family. Mom, Dad, me, Tom, and Kong Shen Heng. I think it's Tom.
55. Last night I was lying in bed, looking at the stars. Then I wondered, WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING?!
56. Keep smiling. It makes people wonder what you're up to.
57. I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada- Britney Spears
58. I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned.
59. I have my own opinions, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them- George W. Bush (Die, Bush, you insensitive, ignorant, arrogant, narrow-minded, war mongering bastard!)
60. I didn't lose my marbles! I sold them on E-bay!
61. When I have a kid, I'm gonna put him in one of those strollers for twins and then run around the mall looking frantic.
62. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
63. I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I'm on my last one.
64. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Like Congress.
65. Whoever said nothing was impossible has obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
66. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory
67. If something is new, there isn't anything before it, right? But if something is improved, that means something was before it! So what do they mean by new and improved?
68. When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice in the eyes of your enemies.
69. When life gives you lemons, you can make lemonade, or you can suck on them and impersonate a cat's arse.
70. Before you criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes!
71. Men, around young children, are like sponges: They either suck up vital information by the voracious bucket load, or they sit about, wetly, taking up space and getting in the way.-- Dark Humor
72. I don't fight with idiots; they bring me to their level then beat me with experience
73. I'm fourteen. I don't really care. - Danny, from Danny Phantom
74. Josh: goes into kitchen Eeeyow!
Drake: Where'd the lobster bite you?
Josh: Is Megan still in the room?
Josh: Tell ya later
75. What! Is it so wrong to be attracted to the guys who want to destroy mankind?! -- Me.
76. Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard, be evil.
77. Mankind is nothing but an excuse to make beings with slightly larger brains feel important
78. "Wild!" he said, twiddling the replay knob on the other side of the stadium. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again… and again… and again…!" -Ron Weasley
79. I'm just here to chew bubble gum and kick ass... and I'm out of bubble gum
80. Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
81. If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard.
82. When life gives you lemons, read them and drool. (I like this one!)
83. I'm throwing you out because I don't like you, not because I'm scared of you.
84. I’m better than normal: I’m abnormal
85. It takes an idiot to do cool things. That's why you’re cool
86. Gone crazy be back later
87. Nothing is for free; even death costs you your life
88. Life is a sexually transmitted disease
89. There's a fine line between genius and insanity, I think you crossed it a few miles back
90. If I killed everyone who was stupid I wouldn't have time to sleep. -Alanna, Song of the Lioness
91. Men don't think any differently than women - they just make more noise about being able to. - Alanna, Song of the Lioness
92. With age comes wisdom...of course you have yet to show me that.
93. I'm not here to wait for people, I'm here for people to wait on me.
94. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
95. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
96. If you speak to God, you're religious. If God speaks to you, you're psychotic! - Dr. House
97. "Bakura and Santa may have the same color hair, but that's about the only thing they have in common. Santa lives at the North Pole. Bakura is bipolar. Big difference." -Joey Wheeler from One Week
98. Who follows dating protocol anymore? If you like him, stalk him. - yaoi quiz (I found it in a fanfic cited as that)
99. Torture is cutting people with knives. But you can totally get away with that if you're wearing a doctor's coat. - Dr. House
100. Roses are red, violets are black, go to hell, and never come back.
101. I wasn't stalking, I was strategically following.
102. Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth
103. The Force is like ducktape: Its got a light side, a dark side and holds the universe together
104. A Wise man once said, 'I don't know, ask a girl'
105. Joy to the world! The teacher’s dead! I barbecued his head! What happened to the body? I flushed it down the potty! Round and round it goes! The toilet overflows! Joy to the world! the teacher’s dead!
106. When the sky darkens, and Armageddon finally comes...you know it's...PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! -I got this from one of the people who favorited me. I figured it was appropriate because I'm always going around saying it's peanut butter jelly time.
107. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall out of a window…I laugh.
108. My love is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
109. I reject your reality, and substitute my own!
110. If you are an evil villain, wear bright clashy clothing so as to confuse the hero
111. I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty damn shitty, and CURSE YOU ALGEBRA! -- Person who favorited me
112. You STFU and I kick your ass. It's the law of equivalent exchange...bitch.
113. Love is like chocolate. It's sweet at first, but in the end it makes you fat and miserable
114. Life is a series of generally stupid misconceptions
115. Ralph Waldo Emerson said "To be great is to be misunderstood." If that is the case, then I'm the friggin queen of the universe.
116. If a toy truck rolls towards you, you can easily stop it with your hand. However, such a tactic would not work with a real truck...
117. When life gives you pudding.. demand for lemon. - from "When Life Gives You Pudding" by Neko-Warren
118. When everything's coming towards you, you're in the wrong lane.
119. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
120. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
121. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
122. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
123. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
124. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
125. You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
126. Join the army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
127. I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
128. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
129. A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
130. Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
131. When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
132. Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.
133. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
134. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
135. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
136. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.
137. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
138. It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose. --Weinberg
139. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.
140. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
141. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
142. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
143. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
144. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.
145. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
146. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
147. My Reality Check bounced.
148. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
149. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
150. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
151. Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
152. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
153. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
154. I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
155. Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
156. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.
157. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.
158. When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. -Sacha Guitry.
159. The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. -Jilly Cooper.
160. When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. -Rita Rudner.
161. First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. -George Burns.
162. There are few things more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. -Doug Larson.
163. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton.
164. Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. -George Burns.
165. Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. -Oscar Wilde
166. When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years. -Mark Twain
167. Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath. -Richard Zera.
168. There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and its mother's age. -Benjamin Spock.
169. I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks. -Emo Philips
170. Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shutup'. -Joe Namath
171. If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? -Steven Wright
172. I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. -Steven Wright
173. 'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'. -Dave Barry
174. I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. -Winston Churchill.
175. I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay? -Denis Leary
176. Heaven won't take me, and Hell's afraid that I'll take over.
177. I'm not arrogant. Arrogance is a flaw. I have no flaws
178. What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.
179. I haven't seen this many strange letters since the last time I placed a personal ad...
180. Tell me, what's it like living in a perpetual haze of stupidity? - Hiei, Yu Yu Hakusho
181. The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense. -Tom Clancy
182. My life is the biggest waste of my time. – My friend Max
183. Your life is the biggest waste of my time. – Me
184. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man
can see better than he can think.
185. When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
186. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
187. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
188. He who laughs last didn't get it.
189. "One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.- George W. Bush
190. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' – Charlie Brown
191. Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Terry Pratchett
192. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.-Peter O'Toole.
193. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -Mark Twain
194. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.-Woody Allen
195. I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
196. I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving.
197. The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
198. When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. -- Mae West
199. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. -- Thomas Jones
200. Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
201. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein
202. If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?- George Deacon
203. If you can’t beat 'em, join 'em... then when they trust you, and have their guard down, beat them into a bloody pulp!
204. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then, sit back and watch the whole world wonder just how the hell you DID that.
205. And send up your best bottle of red wine, free of charge, or I’ll be drinking something red, but it won‘t be wine, and you won‘t be in any condition to see it. -Knives, from the story Trigun Overload.
206. And then God said, "John, come forth, and recieve eternal life..." But John came fifth, and got... A toaster.
Feel free to E-mail me with comments on my profile and quotes! (I do not own any of the quotes unless specified otherwise)
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
Post this on your profile if you hate racism. OOOHHH BURRNN!!