DaPimp
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Joined 04-22-05, id: 799379, Profile Updated: 04-27-09
Author has written 11 stories for Harry Potter, 21 Jump Street, and Criminal Minds.

So, my wonderful, gorgeous lovers,

thanks for taking time to actually read this. It won't be too interesting so feel free press the lil button that takes you back to your previous page. I'll give you a moment, i promise i'm not watching so i wont be offended...

anyone stick with me? well if your have: CONGRADULATIONS!! You win my undying love and friendship! WOOT! anyway, back to what we're here for, to read about me! you poor poor soul.

the name, although i do regret it, is DaPimp, so tempted to change it but people have added me to their favourite authors and story alerts and i'd really hate to incovience people, so for now i guess im DaPimp. Please dont shoot me for the bad name. i chose it when it was cool to be a pimp, not so much these days. i was also young and foolish (well more than i am now...)

I'm sorry if i take a bit longer to update than I probably should, but I'm studying Journalism so that tends to kill my urge to write for enjoyment. While I am a Harry Potter nerd I also like 21 Jump Street. I was born in the wrong generation, my parents got to watch Jump Street the first time it came around.

FanFiction is my passion, but unfortinately I am not being paid to write it so every so often it has to take a backseat to university work. Ah well, we shall all carry on I'm sure.

13/01/09

I am SO sorry!

I have to apologise to anyone who has been waiting for me to update either of my unfinished stories!

To my fellow Harry Potter nerds who mayb be waiting for Quidditch Days it is on its way, I know where it's going but I'm just waiting for the motivation to type it all out, its there... just give me a a little bit more time... please? Oh and sorry to those people waiting for the epilogue chapter for Decietful Eyes, I have decided to leave the story where it is. The story has had a 'complete' status for a long time now but the idea has been floating around my brain but I think the best thing to do is to walk away from that.

21 Jump Street readers: Waking to a Nightmare, I have the next chapter written in my journalism notebook, so its there and ready. It's just a matter of being happy enough with it to actually let people read it, at the moment it isnt there...

Once again, just incase anyone cares, I am so sorry. If you think I need a kick in the rear you are probably right, feel free to have a whirl, I'll get the target ready :)

ok, so now that i have time and an idea about what to write in this...

ok, so Things I Dislike in FanFiction

1. People who have a blatant disregard for basic spelling and grammer. It's not hard people. Sure, i understand the odd slip up, but when you have a whole thing written in internet slang like "lily muttered 2 herself 'wat tha?' " ARRGHH!

2. Mary-Sues!! Enough said in my opinion.

3. OCs that come in and become the focus of the story and they were miraculosly best friends with Harry, Ron and Hermione, BUT what a conicedence, they were highly intelligent Ravenclaw's who happened to have friends in their own house so thats why they were never in the books. (Sorry if that sounds familiar to anyone, I'm not picking on you, I'm just making an example.)

4. People who hold their stories ransom for reviews, no story is worth a forced review.

5. Stories where someone moves to another country and the story takes place there. Maybe for the next generation (Teddy, Rose, James etc.) but not the Trio and the Marauders.

6. J.K. for making George marry Angelina!! Wouldn't George just always feel like he's a replacement for Fred? OH AND Charlie never marrys or has any children :( poor Charlie.

7. Twincest, but hey, whatever floats your boat I suppose.

8. Sentences that run on and on, but I can't really complain, I do it myself.

9. Poorly written Songfics, like

'She said "I feel stranded,

and I can't tell anymore

if I'm coming or I'm going."

Hermione sobbed quietly "I feel stranded, and I can't tell anymore if I'm coming or I'm going."

Yeah, we got that...

Things I Like on FanFiction

1. Katie/Oliver. Or pretty much anyone and Oliver, except Flint, his teeth are eww.

2. My list of Favourite Stories, I favourited them for a reason. Very good.

3. Lily/James, what love should be. Awww...

4. Ron as a Dad fics, I LOVE fics about Ron being a good dad!

5. 'Things You Don't Know About...' fics, so awesome.

6. Next Generation fics, i LOVE Teddy. Also, there's a bit more space because the characters aren't really developed.

Quotes I Like, can be any reason, cause they make me laugh or because they make you think

"Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original you will have to ram it down their throats" - Howard Aiken

"The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed by only small children and large nations." - David Friedman

"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on" - Robert Bloch

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."

"I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would i want someone like you?' "

"Cokie, I can't see the screen, my boobies are to big..." My very good friend Ashe as we laid in the MPA watching a movie in science class.

"The tree is cheeping..." Once again, I give you Ashe.

"I am a tree..." my great friend Regina in our drama play when she couldn't remember her lines. To make matters worse before anyone could dive in to fix it she said "I am a tree." again and started to sway...

"How can you ever be the Supreme Ruler of the Universe if you don't have a convincing poker face?" my catchphrase during my World Domination phase.

"If your brain was a paddock your sheep would starve." my charming friend after i mixed up what i was saying three times.

"Whoever said 'Nothing is impossible' never tried slamming a revolving door."

"I put the 'Stud' in 'Study' " funny tshirt

"I like work. It fascinates me, I could watch it for hours"

"I'm pretty sure there's more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is." Zoolander

"Sting. Sting would be another person who's a hero. The music he's created over the years, I don't really listen to it, but the fact that he's making it, I respect that." Hansel from Zoolander

My Fave Pick-Up Line Ever!

It was said by a guy in my year at our year 12 formal "You look great! Haven't you noticed no guys stand up when you're around?" Our formal (prom) started with a sit down dinner.

Worst Pick-Up Lines I have had the Misfortune of Hearing

"Hi I'm Mr Right. Someone said you were looking for me." such a tacky pick up line

"Are your legs tired, cause you've been running through my mind all day."

"Hey baby, you've got something on your butt: my eyes" Wow, thats charming, why oh why dont i marry you right now!

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

"Are you accepting applications for your fan club?" I actually liked that one... flattery gets you everywhere

"Do you have a bandaid? Cause I just grazed my knee falling for you."

"I've lost my phone number, can I have yours?"

A guy asked for the time, so i pulled out my phone and told him and he said "Great, so" and then he rattled off the time, date and year and said "Awesome, I just wanted to remember the exact details of when i met you. You know, when we tell the Grandkids" i had a good laugh at that one

"Can I flirt with you?" Points of being straight to the point I suppose...

Sad thing is all these can be found on the net. Guys, think of something original please! Best pick up line of all "Hi, my name is _.How are you?" Dont you agree girls?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Voice by SillyOldThing reviews
Reid gets personal advice from an unexpected source. Too personal. Ch. 6 up! Story updated
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,651 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 2/4 - Published: 11/4/2008 - S. Reid, D. Morgan
Questions and Answers by little0bird reviews
When the past and present collide with the Potter/Weasley children... A bit AU with characters' names and some pairings. Family tree now posted on my profile page. 3/16/10 -- going back and cleaning up a few things; nothing major will change.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 95 - Words: 447,904 - Reviews: 4668 - Favs: 1,598 - Follows: 1,696 - Updated: 8/3/2014 - Published: 12/18/2007
Daddy's Little Girl by Noterwomann reviews
Captain Ron Weasley and his team are the best Aurors the Ministry has. But when one of the missions goes wrong Ron finds himself straddled with the last thing he ever expected. AU Not Deathly Hallows Compliant.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 249,930 - Reviews: 975 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 12/30/2011 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Ron W., Hermione G.
21 Jumpstreet by Anwa reviews
My very own episodes.
21 Jump Street - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 23 - Words: 165,355 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/19/2010 - Published: 1/5/2006
The Last Viable Donor by mabelreid reviews
Set after Memoriam Spoilers for Catching Out. Reid never answered Emily when she asked him if he was thinking about having baby geniuses. What will he say when she asks him to provide a very special service for her?
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 93,305 - Reviews: 532 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 3/3/2009 - S. Reid, E. Prentiss - Complete
A Distant Sadness by tfm reviews
Spencer Reid reflects on the death of a colleague. Character Death. For the TV Prompt Challenge. Implied H/P
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 586 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2009 - S. Reid, E. Prentiss - Complete
Crash by klcm reviews
What if he's life was turned upside down thorugh a tragedy?... sorry if the summary is vague and crap, I don't want to give too much away!But it is a Morgan/ Garcia story!
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,323 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 4/8/2009 - Published: 2/24/2009 - P. Garcia, D. Morgan - Complete
Letting You Go by lissylou78 reviews
This is a one shot... I needed a break from the Aftermath so in my last hour at work, I came up with this. Be warned, I haven't quite tweaked it to my liking yet, so it's rather raw... but hope you like it anyway.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,662 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/21/2009 - D. Morgan, P. Garcia - Complete
Hot for Teacher by tearbos reviews
Why Reid is always sent to gather new recruits.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 117 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/12/2009 - S. Reid - Complete
Fireflies and Good Intentions by lady of scarlet reviews
“Deep down though, he knew that all the fireflies and good intentions in the world couldn’t make her better.” Spencer and Diana Reid. FRC, Gen, light angst, implied mental illness, Little-Spencer. Concrit and comments are, as always, highly appreciated.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,459 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Bosola, S. Reid - Complete
Meetings by rogueandkurt reviews
Spencer has a strange encounter. Oneshot. Reid centric. Teensy spoilers for 'Memoriam'.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,129 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/17/2009 - S. Reid, P. Garcia - Complete
Two Line Vocabulary by AiyanaStone reviews
A little game in the BAU. Two line vocabulary, Criminal Minds style!
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,206 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 8 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Complete
Magic by grey-eyed-goddess reviews
For further use, Reid, chicks dig magic fingers.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 190 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/26/2008 - S. Reid, D. Morgan - Complete
It by withtheemoglasses reviews
Reid doesn't get his fix in the morning. And we learn about it.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 538 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/19/2008 - S. Reid - Complete
Killing Loneliness by satanics reviews
Dr Reid hates being alone. Oneshot, Reidcentric, mention of drugs.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 540 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/15/2008 - Complete
Vengeance by firebunee reviews
The sequal to Waylon County High. Darren Thompson has escaped after only a few days in lock up. It has taken no time to catch up with an injured Tom Hanson. It's going to take more than Booker and Penhall to save him before Darren gets his revenge.
21 Jump Street - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 41,474 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/15/2008 - Published: 8/1/2008 - Complete
Luck by rogueandkurt reviews
Reid takes a chance, and lives to regret it. Oneshot. ReidCentric.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,867 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/24/2008 - S. Reid, D. Morgan - Complete
Paperwork by derangedfangirl reviews
Paperwork drives people to do strange things. The members of the BAU are no exception. Pure, fluffy, Crack!Fic. Enjoy!
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 338 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Complete
Untold Weasley Tales by lionesseyes13 reviews
In this series, the oldest Weasley brother grows from a two year old wizard who won't eat his turnips to a grown wizard in his own right. Enjoy his adventures with his brothers at home and at school.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 83 - Words: 365,649 - Reviews: 688 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 7/21/2008 - Published: 10/21/2007 - Bill W. - Complete
Seizure by grey-eyed-goddess reviews
He thought he was alone the first time he did it in the office.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,030 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/22/2008 - S. Reid - Complete
Caffeine Fix by editor frog reviews
Disaster comes in many forms...
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 109 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/23/2008 - Complete
Love, Your Pocket Sized Friends by Puffy Marshmallow reviews
Remus has always known his friends were unique, but to provide an all-out confrontation to tell Remus that he resembled a creature that they might name something cute like "Snuggleface?" Second year. The confrontation about Remus' lycanthropy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,615 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
The Choice by REIDFANATIC reviews
Oneshot. Will an especially difficult case cause an agent to give in to the lure of drugs. Spoilers for 3rd Life.
Criminal Minds - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 800 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Complete
To Show You How Much I Love You by hermionepuckle reviews
It's the day before Valentines day and Ron is doing something special or last minute... you decide for Hermione. More of a Ron/Rose, father/daughter fic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,349 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Smile by rogueandkurt reviews
This job gets to everyone eventually. Oneshot. JJ perspective, ReidCentric.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 949 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/26/2007 - Jennifer J./JJ, S. Reid - Complete
Daddy's Little Girl by Lizzy Lovegood reviews
Pre DH. Song fic to the song Butterfly Kisses. Arthur Weasley has six sons but only one daughter. A story of the lives of Arthur and Ginny and how it feels to finally let someone go.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,244 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Ginny W., Arthur W. - Complete
Bake by rogueandkurt reviews
Some favours are more trouble than they're worth. Gideon and Reid friendship fic. Oneshot. ReidCentric.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,511 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/5/2007 - S. Reid, J. Gideon - Complete
Jerk by rogueandkurt reviews
Sometimes the thing we claim we want most, is the very thing we keep pushing away. Oneshot. ReidJJ onesided. ReidCentric.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 894 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/1/2007 - S. Reid, Jennifer J./JJ - Complete
The Art Of Immaturity by Thatkliqkid reviews
ONESHOT. My attempt at humour I know I'm probably better at angst. Hanson and Penhall annoy the rest of the chapel with their immature antics as the Maquaid Brothers. Please read and review.
21 Jump Street - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 741 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 26 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Early Mornings and Late Nights reviews
Just a collection of short oneshots. Most will be Reidcentric
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 10,368 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 4/27/2009 - S. Reid, D. Morgan
A Desperate Cry A Flash of Silver reviews
A desperate cry. A flash of silver. A splash of red. Tears forever lingering in crystal blue eyes.' Reid is suspected of murder. Oneshot
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Crime/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,009 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/25/2009 - S. Reid, A. Hotchner/Hotch - Complete
Waking to a Nighmare reviews
This couldn’t be happening, he’s a McQuaid, McQuaids are invincible. This can’t be happening
21 Jump Street - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,247 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/17/2009 - Published: 10/27/2008
Insignificant reviews
Have you ever had one of those moments when you realise just how insignificant you are?" She asked him, her eyes searching the sky, as though seeking the answer to some unasked question. Reid/OC
Criminal Minds - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,387 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/29/2009 - S. Reid - Complete
Quidditch Days reviews
The Qudditch Star and the Journalist. One article can change everything, especially when an entire nation reads it. Contains mild sexual themes, suing friends and unlikely character references. Written for the Quidditch Days Challenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,096 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/5/2008 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Oliver W., Katie B.
You Know I Will reviews
Remus tells his friends he is a werewolf and he finally experiences what it's like to have true friendship. What did they do to make him realise he was finally accepted by them, and himself? Set Marauders 3rd Year.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 633 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Behind the Veil reviews
Sirius' heart broke as he saw Harry's anguished face, but why did this seem so right?
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 483 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Sirius B. - Complete
Deceitful Eyes reviews
All's fair in love and war, and eyes are the windows to a persons soul,everbody knows that. But what happens when the one thing you don't know is the most important?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,339 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/16/2008 - Published: 1/16/2008 - Oliver W., Katie B. - Complete
Pushing the Limits reviews
What's more fun than Katie, Oliver, innuedno and a Quidditch Pitch full of people? Contains mild sexual reference if you have a dirty mind like mine :D
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 398 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/13/2008 - Katie B., Oliver W. - Complete
Drifting Off reviews
Mad-Eye wasn't always 'mad', he wasn't always the Auror we know. What happenedto turn Moody into the greatest Auror the Ministry had to offer. Pre DH. Spoilers for HBP
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,110 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/30/2008 - Alastor M. - Complete
Of Pills and Pudding reviews
How can two completely different people have so much in common, and how can pills ruin everything for Ron and Hermione?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,547 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete