Twist
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 03-19-00, id: 8000, Profile Updated: 08-08-11
Author has written 64 stories for Harry Potter, Discworld, Charles Dickens, Pirates of the Caribbean, Crucible, Misc. Books, Misc. Comics, Doctor Who, Homestuck, and House, M.D..

Super February 2011 Update!

Twist is a twenty-something college student living on the east coast of the US. She spends most of her time on her schoolwork; she is in the process of getting her second degree and, following that little walk in the park and the other pleasant experience of the licensing exam, her RN certification.

She also enjoys spending time with her horse, Lola. They jump fences. Good times.

Twist has won several writing awards but has never been published. She would like to be one day, really she would. She will let you know if she ever is, so you can read it.

Twist writes for several fandoms but enjoys Discworld the most. Her favorite characters are Moist von Lipwig and Havelock Vetinari. She almost always portrays Vetinari as out of character, and usually he is part of a non-canon secret club with Sybil Ramkin-Vimes, Lord Rust and Lord Downey called 'the Sacred Homiehood'. If this sort of thing bothers you, you should probably not read any fanfiction by Twist. Also, you should take yourself less seriously. Unless you are Terry Pratchett, in which case please don't sue. She has been semi-retired from fanfiction for several years now, however she still reads the stuff and will put out a piece occasionally. Her pet trilogy is the Diplomatic Piracy series of fics. The first one, however awful, is in fact up on this website and can be read. The second one is being written and the third is, yes, plotted, but as of yet unwritten. She is taking her time with it, thank you very much.

Twist's greatest regret is that she cannot grow up to be a superhero. She wants to visit Australia someday, as well as New Zealand. She would also like to live on a horse farm, so she can finally fulfill her dream of having her horse live with her, like a large outdoor dog.

Twist has a tumblr. Her homepage link will direct you to it. Be warned: she is not always rational. It is best if you wear PPE.

Note 12-6-08: I went through and re-categorized all my fics. If a fic is listed as complete, it is that. Done. Finito. Never to be updated. Some fics in that category are not finished, and they never will be, sorry. If a fic is listed as 'in progress', it might be updated. Some of those are unlikely (I Needn't Ponder Your Sexiness, Discworld Houseshare, others) but don't write them off, because I haven't and up to last week I had all but written Revolutions off and look where that got me (a renewed vigor for getting the damn thing finished, yey). So, you know, Watch This Space.

"I plan to live forever, or die in the attempt." (Catch 22)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Joining The Dots by Linxcat reviews
"Everyone knew it, and that was all everyone knew. A dot dot dot relationship. One of those. And nobody had been able to join up the dots." - Unseen Academicals. Assorted one-shots and drabbles exploring Lord Vetinari and Lady Margolotta's relationship.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,376 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 11/26/2012 - Published: 1/26/2011 - Vetinari, Lady Margolotta
Of Amnesia and AfterEffects by Linxcat reviews
She returns later and sees how small he is, swaddled in duvets; he is only just thirty, taking the shape of a barely teen. She dabs his face with a cool flannel, just as she has done for each of her dear ones, her survivors.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 820 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Published: 6/14/2011 - Complete
I always liked Ron best too by eriphi reviews
Amy learns a little about about the Doctor's past during a visit to the largest library in the Universe. And everyone else learns a little something about the books that Rory used to read as a child.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,846 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/27/2011 - Complete
Of Repatriation and Risk by Linxcat reviews
Then Ladyship had straightened up and smiled her shark smile, as if they were in brilliant cahoots about something - and maybe they were - and had said, "How wonderful it was to speak with you, Mr Lipwig! Hopefully we shall meet again before I leave."
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,267 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 12 - Published: 1/28/2011 - Moist von L. - Complete
The Return by Ololon reviews
Vetinari/Drumknott, friendship, with possibly a hint i.e. two atoms of slash, if you look hard. Set towards the end of The Truth: Vetinari and Drumknott are released from the Watch House and make their slow and somewhat painful way back to the Palace.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 861 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 13 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Vetinari, Drumknott - Complete
Verses by Midnight Mustang reviews
The unsung lyrics to life on the Discworld. Moments, thoughts, feelings, and musings. Short drabbles inspired by songs.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,306 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 2/13/2010 - Published: 2/5/2010
Past His Guard by Morwen Tindomerel reviews
What's going on in Vetinari's mind - and briefly Vimes' - during a couple of scenes of 'Feet of Clay'.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,394 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/15/2010 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Complete
The End And What Follows by Schildkroete reviews
Story focusing on Vimes, Vetinari and Death. AnkhMorpork has been destroyed and the end of the world is near. Fortunately, some men are very interested in stopping that from happening. Unfortunately, they’re dead already.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,394 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 10/24/2009 - Published: 5/8/2005 - Complete
The Brave and the Bold and the Slightly Illegal by Gogol reviews
Being the swashbuckling story of the JUSTICE LEAGUE OF ANKH-MORPORK, an insidious band of vigilantes whose evil might be thwarted only through the efforts of mild-mannered journalist SAM VIMES JR., his father's ghost, & eighteen dead, goldfishy sidekicks!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 41,954 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 12/12/2008
You Did What? by TheMidgetBee reviews
A version of the never-seen Vetinari/Leonard conversation from Jingo regarding Leshp after Vetinari finds out Leonard's been there.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,700 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Published: 12/12/2008 - Complete
The Dalek Invasion of Discworld by Rosethorn reviews
Does exactly what it says on the tin. Crossover with Doctor Who.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 748 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Complete
Fearing Death by Jinxed-Wood reviews
A Doctor Who and Pushing Daisies Crossover - The Doctor was 900 hundred years, three thousand weeks, and a unquantifiable amount of days old when he materialised his TARDIS outside the Pie Hole...
TV X-overs - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,833 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 2/6/2008 - Published: 2/4/2008
Hardboiled by Estelle Tiniwiel reviews
Lord Vetinari receives news of a long expected event. Unfortunately, the news is less than positive.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,716 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Complete
Uncle Havelock? by Ficus-Avenger reviews
Featuring a drunken Downey, a bored Vetinari and a very persistant Young Sam. What else would you need to know?
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,997 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/19/2007 - Complete
One Flogged Horse aka An Overused Plotline by Twisted Biscuit reviews
Parody. Tom Riddle mysteriously gets his hands on the Harry Potter books. Rather than just make pithy observations, he decides to do something about his future. As for those whose futures are flushed down the toilet... well, who really cares about them?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,871 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 8/23/2007 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Tom R. Jr., Minerva M.
Arranging Payment by TheMidgetBee reviews
Vetinari and AnkhMorpork have a dragon problem, Madam may be the solution. My version of that conversation. Oneshot, and I mean it this time...
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,203 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Complete
St Wossname's Fire by SpamWarrior reviews
The Auditors have resurrected Mister Teatime and given him a mission: kill Life and end existence. Features just about everyone who's ever been in a Discworld book for more than two pages. PHEER, I tell you.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 44,789 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 2/3/2007 - Published: 3/10/2005
CSI: Death by Chocolate by Beth Einspanier reviews
CSICharlie and the Chocolate Factory DeppMovie crossover. A young man is found in the desert, having been drowned in chocolate. Who would want him dead, and what does he have to do with a reclusive chocolatier from London?
Crossover - CSI & Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 28,069 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 9/3/2006 - Published: 8/20/2005 - Gil G. - Complete
A Hogswatch Carol by Laiqualaurelote reviews
A series of fics for the countdown to Christmas Day. An insight into the Hogswatch celebrations of people across the Disc, ranging from the well known, like Vetinari and the Watch, to the less written, such as the Times and the Cheesemongers.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,260 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/23/2005 - Published: 12/18/2005 - Complete
Viri Sunt Viri by Grey L. Bloom reviews
Grassroots feminism, attempted assassination, snake eyed loping bastards, vandalism, theft, murder, and a thousand elephants. Wait, no! No elephants. Everything else, though. [rated T for genitalia related humor and mild swearing]
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 18,156 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/18/2005 - Published: 7/19/2005
Joint Fic Title Pending by Blank Ned and Jess Idres reviews
You thought you were safe. You thought it couldn't be done. But its happened. And not even the Watch is safe. Yes, Blank Ned and Jess Idres are dooming Discworld with a joint fic!
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,045 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/4/2005
From the Office of the Patrician by Mercator reviews
Lord Vetinari knows what you've been writing about him. He is not pleased...Ch7! A sweet-tart danger stalks the streets of A-M...
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,363 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/13/2003 - Published: 1/3/2003
Go Fetch by JWWells reviews
In Uberwald, they say that to see a Double-Shade is to see the face of Death. In Lancre, they say that a doomed soul may see an image of himself in the night - a Fetch. Havelock Vetinari - meet Havelock Vetinari.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,328 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/21/2003 - Published: 3/19/2003 - Vetinari
In The Blood by samvimes reviews
An accident in Uberwald finally catches up with Vimes. Werewolves! Physicists! Crosswords! Nakedness! Dr. Sluice!
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,605 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/21/2003 - Published: 3/12/2003 - Complete
Bolero by DrWorm reviews
Fighting is like dancing and Vimes as Keel watches himself do something he knows he'll regret.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,526 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/20/2002 - Complete
The Guy with the Eye by Minerva McTabby reviews
Potterverse parody of The Cat in the Hat by Dr. Seuss. Set in GoF year - with Crouch-Moody as the Cat, Harry and Draco as the kids, Fawkes as the Fish, Mary Sue as Thing One and Thing Two.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,607 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/2/2002 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Mission: Piano reviews
Karkat has wanted to play that stupid piano his whole life. Slick has effectively prevented this for years. But when Karkat gains a new weapon in the battle, the stalemate rapidly dissolves. Once again, it is war. Stabdads AU, T for Slick and Karkat.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,069 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Karkat V. - Complete
Caught in the Act reviews
Sn0wman parks on Slick's street, and Slick notices. Later, Karkat and Terezi discover the aftermath. Stabdads AU, M for sex times.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,798 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/8/2011 - Complete
Sn0wmom Knows Best reviews
Terezi thinks boys are stupid, and dealing with feelings about boys is hard and no one understands. Sn0wman does her best to listen anyway. Stabdads AU and borderline marchingstuck AU, now with 100 percent more Sn0wmom.
Homestuck - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,439 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/7/2011 - Complete
Mobster Son Bonding reviews
His name is Karkat Vantas. He is six and a half sweeps old. And this is the story of how his Dad taught him to rob a bank. T for language, stabdads AU, roughly follows Vital Statistics.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,124 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/6/2011 - Published: 8/5/2011 - Complete
Vital Statistics reviews
The Crew raids the Felt's mansion, and nothing goes like it's supposed to. Everyone's telling Karkat that Slick's not dead, but that's all they're saying. Karkat just wants to believe them. Stabdad AU, T for language. CH2: Karkat learns to drive. Sort of.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,568 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 8/1/2011 - Complete
Trollesgarten reviews
Karkat's first day of kindergarten is here, and he and his stabdaddy Slick go through the transition with dignity, class and aplomb. Hang on, wait, no they don't. T for swearing because it's Karkat and Slick.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,898 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/31/2011 - Complete
Storytime reviews
The Felt breaks Slick, so his stupid nubbin-horned kid decides to annoy him. Mobdad AU, T for language
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,168 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Complete
Diplomatic Piracy 2: Black Iron Key reviews
Sequel to 'Diplomatic Piracy'. Vetinari and his crew are commissioned by the Patrician to go on a treasure hunt for a cursèd treasure. Young Sam can't resist the call of the sea. Craziness and nautical battles ensue. Obviously a heavy AU.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 41,489 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/24/2011 - Published: 12/3/2007 - Sam Vimes, Vetinari
A Study in Batesian Mimicry reviews
"Vetinari, for the second time in his life, looked at what some might have called his reflection. He wouldn't call it that, if only because normally his actual reflection breathed along with him." One-shot, because I miss Charlie.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,299 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/14/2011 - Vetinari - Complete
Count To Ten reviews
COMPLETE. Grace Speaker/Havelock Vetinari. Ten years, eleven short fanfictions, one relationship. It's probably impossible to secretly date the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, but Vetinari and Grace figure they might as well give it a go anyhow.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,399 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 2/5/2011 - Vetinari, G. Speaker - Complete
Stall Rest reviews
Sybil realizes that Vetinari's been shot, and someone should probably make sure he doesn't die. Vetinari thinks he might anyway. Vetinari/Sybil post-MAA humorous hurt/comfort, with a special Grace/Vetinari bonus at the end because OTP 4realz.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,662 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/3/2011 - Vetinari, Sybil R. - Complete
It's Like A Musical Mosaic reviews
10 shorts, inspired by 10 songs. Now with Chapter 5! Featuring: Vetinari, Vimes, Drumknott, the ever-mysterious Grace Speaker, Ponder, Adora, HEX and more! Aww yeah. Still rated T but that's really pushing it. Light M, really, for sexy-time/swears.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,986 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/25/2011 - Published: 2/10/2010 - Complete
Hogswatch Grit reviews
In which Sam Jr. saves the dusty town of Ain't More Pork from terrible bandits, and in the process manages to save Hogswatch too. What else can I say? It's a Discworld Western.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,935 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/24/2010 - Sam Vimes - Complete
The Perils of a City of a Thousand Species reviews
The Tenth Doctor lands on Discworld, coming to the attention of Lord Vetinari. Not unexpectedly, things are not as they seem and a simple chess game gets rapidly out of hand. Continuation possible; think of it as a pilot episode.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,573 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 16 - Published: 2/10/2010 - 10th Doctor, Vetinari
Making Friends reviews
A charming little story involving assault.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,202 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/29/2009 - Complete
Crossword reviews
Who needs more than a few throwaway lines to establish a romance? The Patrician confronts the crossword maven Grace Speaker and things evolve, eventually. Journalists, none too unobservant, take notice of things like that.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,459 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Published: 10/12/2009 - Complete
Terrapins Throughout reviews
An AU set on our own lovely little blue planet. Featuring: Moist's American cousin, his lovely wife Adora, and other various familiar faces. Welcome to Ankh, Maryland. NOTE: Pilot chapter only - try it out, you might like it. Continuation possible.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,774 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/24/2009
Revolutions reviews
FINISHED Stoneface Vimes overthrew King Lorenzo, and was killed shortly thereafter, giving rise to a long line of Morporkian Patricians. But what if Vimes had lived? Join the readers who rave this journey down the Other Trouser Leg is "pretty ok!"
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 40,741 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/7/2009 - Published: 5/16/2003 - Complete
The Fiesta Job reviews
Vimes and Vetinari go undercover to thwart an explosive assassination attempt. What are their motivations? Could it be patriotism? Or something else? Are rhetorical questions an effective strategy for attracting readers? FEATURES: mustachioed Vimes, etc.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,485 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Complete
FourLegged Shellfish reviews
A heartwarming tale of the Patrician trying to make his godson happy, even if it means braving Crazy People That Work With Horses.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,844 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Complete
Hers reviews
She's killing him, bit by bit, and he can't escape, and sometimes can't avoid. He's hers, and she takes what she wants. Thinky-type Vetinari fic, written in a fit of procrastination.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 868 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 13 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Complete
A Question of Aboslute Obedience reviews
A story that I have re-posted with a kinder, gentler author's note. Still contains juvenile humor and sweatervests, never fear. Not as creepy as the title sounds. Rated T because I felt like it.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,922 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Complete
Naked Cometh AnkhMorpork Nights reviews
Gay Voldemort.
Crossover - Discworld & House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,357 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/22/2008 - Published: 4/22/2008 - G. House - Complete
Diplomatic Piracy 2 and a bit: The Worst Pirate reviews
A musical interlude overcomes the crew of Diplomatic Piracy 2. Poor Sam, he really isn't equipped to deal with this sort of thing. Crackfic lulz.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,349 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Sam Vimes, Vetinari - Complete
Awkward Turtle reviews
A younger Havelock Vetinari and Sybil Ramkin walk home from a wedding together. Talk is had. Hanky ensues, but no panky. Goofy little piece of fluff fic.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,420 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/14/2008 - Complete
A Hogswatch Story reviews
Hogswatch in the Vimes household, complete with antisocial godfather. Merry Christmas, kids.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,785 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Published: 12/25/2007 - Complete
WULL HAI THAR reviews
Short fic, no plot, makes little to no sense. You know you want it.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,312 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Complete
Hugging reviews
Looking For GroupLFG Richard the warlock isn't feeling himself. Cale tries to cheer him up. The closest to RichardCale slash I will ever be able to bring myself to write. T for light fantasy violence.
Misc. Comics - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,850 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Complete
Tea Partay reviews
Vetinari, Downey and Rust are on a mission to destory the Disc's newest music sensation, rap. Don't hate.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,864 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/21/2007 - Complete
Lead reviews
Sort of sequel to Diplomatic Piracy. Vetinari's looking for a new first mate, and he's got rum. Old acquaintances emerge with hilarious results. Everyone loves a bad pirate who's good at his job. Strong T rating for language and alcohols!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,198 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Complete
Bring It reviews
Snakes on a Plane crosses over with homiehood!Discworld. Just so you know? This is not intended to be serious. Havelock Vetinari retires and deals with murderers, all with a song from the SoaP album in the background. Have fun, children. M for bad words.
Discworld - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,800 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/29/2006 - Complete
Of Angels and Volcanoes reviews
When a man like Vetinari dies, there's no way his funeral will be normal. NEW SHORT! The funeral has passed, but angellic encounters still irk Moist.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,956 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/20/2005 - Published: 9/10/2005
Get A Job reviews
Havelock Vetinari, recently graduated Assassin, gets caught up in his friend's relationship and financial issues. Sort of on the same line as Chronicles of a Social Outcast. Songfic to The Offspring's Why Don't You Get a Job. T for mild swearing.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,102 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 8/17/2005 - Complete
Chronicles of a Social Outcast reviews
A group of (very) short blurbs on teenaged Havelock Vetinari. These are not meant to be serious, and are OOC. I had fun writing them, so I hope you have fun reading them. :) New short!
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,038 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/7/2005 - Published: 2/25/2004
Final Pains reviews
A one-shot goof-off fic relating to Havelock's final days as a student at the Assassin's Guild. As usual with me, this is not to be taken seriously. PG to be safe, due to a small fight scene (rawr!). Enjoy.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,165 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 9 - Published: 7/12/2004 - Complete
Discworld HouseShare reviews
CHAPTER 2 UPDATE Yes, you read the title right! A semi-interactive fic (details inside) in which everyone's favorite characters (almost everyone's, anyway) are forced to live together. Chaos, crossdressing and 'General Hospital' abound!
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,258 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/26/2004 - Published: 4/19/2004
Alternate Storyline to The Scarlet Letter reviews
Title says a lot. SLASH. Lots of it. Chillingworth tries to take advantage of Dimmesdale, and gets a nasty surprise.
Misc. Books - Rated: M - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,837 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/28/2004 - Complete
Alternate Ending to The Crucible by Arthur Miller reviews
The Crucible Pretty much what the title says. Not meant to be at all serious or offensive. Relax, have fun, peace out. :
Crucible - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,984 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/26/2004 - Complete
A Delicate Buy reviews
Semi-sequel to "Ankh-Morpork, Meet Pixie Stix". Action! Romace! The word 'pookie' Okay, only the last one. It is recommended that you read that and Mercator's "From the Office of the Patrician" first, especially chapter 7.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 928 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/23/2004 - Complete
Captain Saint Nick reviews
A little, fluffy Christmas ficlet. A certain newlywed couple is visited Christmas Eve by a certain drunken pirate. X-mas present from me to the 'net in general. :
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 844 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/24/2003 - Will T., Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
Diplomatic Piracy reviews
An exiled Vetinari has an open road ahead of him. Watch through the eyes of Vimes as pirates, politicians and hard liquors combine.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,830 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/7/2003 - Complete
Contains Neosporin reviews
RemusTom slash. Very AU, short and containing really nothing but sex. Warnings: SLASH, VIOLENCE, AU, UTTER DESTRUCTION OF ALL THAT IS CANON
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,056 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/22/2003 - Remus L., Voldemort - Complete
The Infinite Secrets of the Sacred Homiehood reviews
FINISHED When Vetinari, Sybil, Downey and Rust were twelve, they formed a sacred homiehood in symbolism of everlasting friendship, or something. When tension grows between Rust and his son, it's all put to the test. Laugh! Cry! Review!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,549 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 10 - Updated: 3/24/2003 - Published: 9/3/2002 - Complete
History Class reviews
Roughly a thousand years after 'Night Watch' a class field trip to the old Palace turns out not quite as it was expected to . . .
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,686 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/18/2003 - Complete
If I Were Gay reviews
Songfic to Stephan Lynch's "If I Were Gay." It's a parody of Herbert/Pip slash. Hardly any sexual content none, really . Don't take it too seriously. :
Charles Dickens - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,016 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/3/2003 - Complete
Breaking to Mend reviews
SLASH. Great Expectations' Herbert and Pip have been avoiding each other for a long time; can this be remedied?
Charles Dickens - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,210 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/2/2002 - Complete
Brung Low reviews
PG for darkness. Songfic to Default's 'Deny' about the woman who "brung low" our dear Vimsey.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 826 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/1/2002 - Complete
Stale Artichokes reviews
Randomness. My friend gave it to me for my birthday and I fixed the formatting and gave it to you wonderful people. Enjoy.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,334 - Reviews: 9 - Published: 11/24/2002 - Complete
A Homiehood Hogswatch reviews
Sybil, Downey and Rust are on a mission. The mission? Teach Havelock Vetinari the true meaning of Hogswatch. Preseason posting. Feel special.
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,632 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2002 - Complete
Anthropomorphism reviews
Having a mortal body's a bugger, isn't it?
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2002 - Complete
I Needn't Ponder Your Sexiness reviews
*CHAPTER 4 POSTED* A romance involving wizards, Ponder, and a couple Vetinaris. Be very, very afraid.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,002 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/24/2002 - Published: 8/4/2002
Lord Vetinari, Meet George Dubya reviews
FINISHED The story people have clamoring for ever since my first Disc fic. Well, perhaps not clamoring. Anyway, some Good Omens is included as well as some SNL characters. Please put your trays in an upright and locked position and enjoy.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,416 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/1/2002 - Published: 2/26/2002 - Complete
What I Did After Graduation reviews
A brief, silly story I wrote a short while ago. Contains Vetinari and drinking, as well as a flirtatious Sybil Ramkin, hence the rating. Read and enjoy.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,681 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/9/2002 - Complete
Harry Potter and the 4 Horsemen of the Apocralypse reviews
I got the idea while reading Frog Fad's 'The Unlikely Harry Potter.' The title was in there and I was just like; 'Woah, cool . . .' and so I wrote it. The title sums it up pretty well, I think. Harry-kins, and the Four Horsemen.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,187 - Reviews: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/12/2002 - Harry P. - Complete
Of Leashes and Randomness reviews
A fic I wrote with a temp. of 101 degrees. Flames will be packaged and used to keep me cool. Basically, it's a wild guess on what Vetinari does at night. Have fun, people. Read and review.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,348 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/3/2002 - Complete
Death Becomes Him reviews
*chapter four now posted* When Harry attempts to commit suicide, there are some bungled results. Caught in an amusing situation between life an death, a spirit comes along for the ride. 12-6-08: This will never be finished, huge shocker, I know.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,759 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/14/2002 - Published: 4/4/2001 - Harry P. - Complete
If They Had Computers reviews
A little blurb from yours truly. Please forgive it if you don't like it, staying up until 12:15 and listening to Jimmy Buffet is not good for you . . . The title's pretty much self-explanitory.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 613 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/26/2002 - Complete
A School Dance Made Interesting reviews
PG for some naughty stuff. Not bad though. Not unless you know about the 'el dinero' dance... Just something I thought of the other night, please R&R!
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,796 - Reviews: 10 - Published: 11/3/2001 - Complete
AnkhMorpork, Meet Pixie Stix reviews
A random hyper fic which has my favorite character, Vetinari! I LOVE HIM! Sorry, lost my composure there. Anyway, the title it very self-explanitory, and I would like to get reviews since this is my first Discworld fic! Tanx! Buh-bye! P.S R/R!
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,155 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/24/2001 - Complete
My First METMA Challenge Ficcy! reviews
Hii! This is my first METMA Challenge Fic I've written! I would like to say happy birthday to Guinea! This fic is dedicated to her! Please read her fic! And review this one!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 926 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/1/2001 - Complete
Night reviews
PG for darkness. It's from someone's point of view, but don't say who you think it is in your review. In my mind that puts you in a mindset and doesn't allow your theory to change. Let your mind wander. Thanks, and R/R please.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 232 - Reviews: 20 - Published: 1/4/2001 - Complete
Tormented reviews
PG-13 for a rather graphic description of the Crutacious Curse. The sequal/partner to 'If Only...'. I think I might make this a series. R/R as always! Oh, did I mention it's about Voldie?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,333 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/27/2000 - Complete
If Only reviews
Kind of angsty. My first attempt at a drama. I realize it may really suck 12-6-08: It does , so tell me so in a nice way. It's about Minerva and Tom Riddle. She looks back on things she could have done. You may need a hankie, I'm not sure though.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 450 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/14/2000 - Complete
How the Gang Caught Voldemort! reviews
It's nuts! Be warned! PG for violence. But I finally got around to it. I know I should be working on 'Draco' but.... READ!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 789 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/3/2000 - Complete