Poll: Should this chapter of Ten Piece remain as is or should it be redone? Vote Now!
Author has written 10 stories for Star Wars, One Piece, Super Smash Brothers, Bleach, Naruto, NCIS, Okami, Negima! Magister Negi Magi/魔法先生ネギま！, Ratchet and Clank, and Ben 10.
this is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia
For those of you that want to look at the forums I made for the story of Ten Piece, go to this link:
I hope that helps out you folks that want to submit ideas and scenes.
One Piece/Okami crossover: Where either the One Piece crew crashes into the land of Nippon and joins Ammy on her journey through it or Ammy joins the crew from thestart to where the anime currently is now. Note: If first choice, then all current crewmembers up to Thriller Bark Arc must already have joined and if second choice, must be through Post-War Arc in manga.
One Piece/NCIS crossover: Can you imagine the chaos from such a thing???!!! Where either the One Piece crew gets sucked in to the NCIS world or the NCIS crew gets sucked into the One Piece world.
the animaniac dude: Your Will of D. story is completely amazing. Anybody who checks out my profile should read this read story and review it so that the author can continue with it.
Paintball-Gamer: Your Heart of a Pirate story is truly captivating. I can't wait to read how you incorporate One Piece elements with the rest of the Kingdom Hearts series
4KIDS SUCKS!! WHY CAN'T THEY BE AWESOME DUBBERS LIKE THE GUYS AT FUNIMATION?! Put this in your profile if you agree.
l\ .M. /l
Long Time FanFiction.net Members!!
If you have been a member of Fanfiction.net for three years or more, copy this to your profile and add your name to the list! (Master Jin Sonata, Time Master, Hiro Konobu, AshK,avatoa)
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, Vert9411, pinkcherryblossom, 225CherryBlossoms016, SakuraUchiha14,Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan,Sasusakufan2357, uchihasakura285, NarutoFanGurly, Fallen-Ryu, The Obsidian Blade, avatoa
If you think Anime Haters who say Anime is for kids should burn in the fiery depths of hell forever, copy and paste this to your profile.
REST IN PIECE TOONAMI.
From beginning to the very end I was there. I will never forget.
Tom and the Absolution
A great Character and a funny host
You will live on forever in this.
If you were there for Toonami from the beginning to end and now wish to honor it post this on your profile. Zaara the black, jmasta32, vanhelsing425, avatoa
Also, if you agree that the people who run Cartoon Network are complete and utter dumb-asses for taking Toonami off and putting all that reality TV crap in its place, please put this in your profile and add your name to this list: avatoa
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
A True Story
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
DO NOT READ BELLOW UNLESS YOU WANT TO GET CURSED
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia
Hey if you guys are interested in Cartoon Network and MMORPG's, Check out this link:
sign up,download the web player and get started playing now during the Sneak Peek or get it when it's released on January 14th.
Look for me, Avatoa Cooper, in the game and I'll help you guys out with any missions that you have trouble with.
Good luck and God Speed.
First of all I would like to thank the people who allowed me to use these rants for my profile page. I can't remember who is who's for the old ones so just send me your screenname by private messaging. Secondly, from now on I am giving props to the guys who made these because I agree with what they are saying. Here they are: MetaMario.
Rant 1: WHAT THE HELL HAS KISHIMOTO DONE TO NARUTO!? The damned show should be called Sasuke now since he's the only one that gets all the attention! And the show has been turning gayer and stupider since the start of Shippuuden. Here's the main problems I've found.
Rant 2: Yaoi... Yes, people. Yaoi... WHY!? Why is yaoi so damned popular in fanfiction!? Why do hormonal girls (some guys too, but I'm scared to think about that) like to write about their favorite male characters getting together? Sure, others may argue, "Well why do you guys (and/or girls) like to write yuri then?" Well, thats the point... Yaoi fics outnumber Yuri fics 5 to 1. There's just WAY too much yaoi! You guys wanna know the two most popular pairings in the Naruto section? NaruSasu and KakaIru... I look for a brotherly fic starring Naruto and Sasuke and find 500 pages full of yaoi. This is insanity! I have no negative feelings about homosexuals, but the fanfiction world has just too much yaoi. And whats worse is, there's a better good-to-bad fic ratio in yaoi than in yuri. This is my opinion people, so don't flame me. We all have our opinions.
Rant 3: This is a mini-rant if you could call it that. I'm not really angry, I'm just annoyed by this. What is with everyone stereotyping Naruto as an idiot? I don't care about this, "He was deadlast," crap. If an average boy got the same quality education as a son of a millionaire's, he would be just as smart as the other rich kids. Naruto was hated, so almost all of his academy teachers before Iruka probably didn't teach him the same as the others. They wouldn't have helped him when he asked questions, wouldn't have helped him learn anything, and probably would've taught him false things sometimes. Proof that Naruto isn't an idiot is painfully obvious during the show, but yet it overlooked. Let's take a look at a few:
Rant 4:What the fuck is wrong with fangirls. They have their own websites to post yaoi yet they have to over run the websites that do not have blocks for it? What kind of bullshit is that? I mean come on. they have there own fucking websites for it. why the fuck do they need to over run every god damned website with it. i have nothing wrong with homosexuals but there has to be a line drawn sometime.
Rant 5: Does anybody else think that Luffy should have a harem by now? I mean come on the guy practically kicked the asses of a whole bunch of sadistic bastards who made most of the female main characters lives miserable from their early childhoods as well as defending them when they were jeered and ridiculed. He also helped give each of them a much more positive outlook on life. Also, if anybody reads the story, Vivi Returns, would anyone find that an agreeable outcome(even without the Davy Back Fight)?
Rant 6: LuffyXNami pairing- Why does everyone like this pairing so much? I think Luffy would rather by better off with any other woman. It is the most common One Piece pairing, but it doesn't make much sense to me. Just because Luffy is the main character, he has to paired up with the first female character in play? Their personalities don't match at all. I know opposites attract, but still. I'm just not a big fan of this pairing, I'm sorry. I admit, I've glanced at the occasional lemon, but I can't see this pairing happening, even if this is Fan Fiction. In my opinion, Nami belongs with either Zoro or Sanji, and Luffy belongs with Vivi or Hancock.
Rant 7: Sasuke and the emo-ness- Even since Sasuke betrayed Konoha, practically every Naruto fan calls him an emo. Hey, having your brother murder your entire family can take a toll on a guy. But it is Part II Sasuke that is the real emo. Think about it. Sasuke formed a separate team, refused to go back to the Leaf Village, and now wants to destroy Konoha for his brother's sake. Y'know, the brother he wanted to kill? WTF?! But Part I Sasuke, that was one of the most badass characters of Naruto. If if you call Sasuke an emo, that's fine, but remember it was the time-skip that made him that way. Kishimoto is kinda of going the wrong way with Sasuke, in my opinion.
Rant 8: Yaoi is everywhere- When I said I dislike yaoi, I meant I HATE yaoi. Yaoi is everywhere, mostly in fan fiction. Seriously, I think One Piece and Naruto have it the worst. Every other page is covered with NarutoXSasuke or ZoroXSanji. It makes me sick to my stomach. I hate yaoi for 3 reasons. A: Even if a character is straight in their series WITH PROOF, fangirls still have the urge to make them gay. B: Incest is very disgusting and wrong. I'd rather sell my soul to the devil than read LuffyXAce. Fucking sick. (Although, Luffy and Ace are not blood related. But it's still gross to me.) C: Instead of submitting a decent story (even if it is yaoi), perverted fangirls just write BS stories with 2 guys screwing each other for no reason. Again, I've got nothing against gays, but Fangirls should just make their own websites instead of making every 3rd story on this site a yaoi fic. Some of us are serious writers. Btw, ever notice there is much more yaoi than yuri?
Rant 9: Dragon Ball GT- I'm glad Akira Toriyama didn't make this. I like DB and DBZ, but strongly dislike GT. Why? A- Vegeta hardly got any screen time, and when he did, it was little. He was possessed by one villain and showed up out of nowhere to beat the final one. Vegeta is one of the most important characters, and even though there are a new generation of Z-fighters, he should've had a better role. The same thing happened to Piccolo. B- Goku was turned into a KID. WTF?! I know Toei wanted to make the series child-like again, but turning him into a kid was not the best plan. They could've added more Pan. C- The series seemed to ignore almost everyone and focus solely on Goku and Pan, in the 4 sagas. Akira made more characters than that, Toei. This is the only Dragon Ball thing that I can't stand. The only good thing...the openings and endings are pretty catchy. This series would've been made better if Toriyama had a predominant role. Your worst and only blunder, Toei.
Rant 10: The Decline of Cartoon Network- In the 90s, there were some good cartoons on Cartoon Network. Ones like Dexter's Lab and Johnny Bravo. But as the years passed, something happened. The godlike cartoons soon got replaced by crappy ones. The same ones today. Some of these new cartoons copy off existing concepts!(Survive this and the Othersiders.) What's more, some of them feature nonanimated humans. Hello! It's CARTOON Network, so I want to see some damn cartoons! To add to the horror, some of the new cartoons are not very clever, AND Cartoon Network terminated almost all anime that's not Adult Swim. Yep! We had to say goodbye to DBZ, Funi One Piece, Zatch Bell, and Bobobobobo! Hell, even Naruto's starting to disappear. The only 2 anime that exist on regular CN(bad logo) are Pokemon, the show that's getting old slowly, and Bakugan, the Pokemon-Yugioh rip-off! (Oh, and Yugioh 5d's. But that sucks compared to the original.) I don't get it; people LOVED anime on Cartoon Network. Why did they get rid of it? Cartoon Network is slowly becoming the next 4kids, in the terms of bad decision making.
Rant 11: One Piece Vs. Naruto- People always seem to chose one of these anime and flame the other. Why can we accept the fact that both are good? They are the most read Shonen Manga in this country. I like One Piece because of the funny characters, the deep story-line, and the ultimate strive to follow dreams. I like Naruto because of the cool fights and attacks (not that I hate the One Piece fights) and the risk of life and death. And yet, there are many people who can't accept the other. I think One Piece is far superior, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't watch Naruto a few times. Think of it like this...both series are similar in various ways and are surpassing Dragon Ball in hype. I think both will succeed, so all you fans that hate One Piece and like Naruto, or hate Naruto and like One Piece have to understand that whether or not, these anime/manga will be around for a while. Have you examined how similar Naruto and Luffy are? Hell, the manga came out at about the same time. But...Naruto and One Piece are both great successors to the legendary Dragon Ball.
Rant 12: Naruto crossover harems and crossover harems in general-What the hell is the attraction towards this particular subject? Sure, Naruto has had a hard life and I understand if someone hooks him up with Naruto girls and OC girls, but what I am talking about is how when a crossover fic is made featuring Naruto, they have to give him a harem pairing out of the girls from the other anime like Negima for example. The whole point of Negima in my opinion is to make Negi a Magister Magi with pactio's from all of Class 3A as well as any other girls that show up and hook up with them. At least in my opinion. But put Naruto into the picture, and it just throws the whole system off. Girls that should have hooked up with Negi are instead swarming to Naruto thus making him the star of the show whilst making Negi a background character, which is stupid and insane because he is supposed to be the main character. This happens in nearly every Naruto crossover story with Naruto as the main character not placed in the Naruto world where the main characters of other animes are kicked to the curb in order to put Naruto in the spotlight and make the other male leads look bad or weak. It also screws up the group dynamic of the anime that Naruto's inserted into. This goes for the idea of crossover harems in general. Solution: Just let the male leads of anime like for example Tenchi, Ranma, Negi, Luffy, and of course Naruto have a harem amongst their own respective girls and if you are doing a crossover story, have the characters of one anime be transported to another anime by certain means that are plausible within that specific animes craziness and once the group from the first anime helps the group of the second anime, let the situation be reversed so that the second group can help with the first group's problems and so on and so forth until the end of both respective animes or until you run out of ideas for adventures. Make stories like that is all I am saying and it would be more enjoyable to read for other people especially among certain circles of die-hard anime fans. At least for me it would.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin, The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, Pinksakurablossom, Angelgirl18647, Winter Gallowsraven, Echizen Ryoma-san, Zaara the black, Dragoon321, Ranpuryu, avatoa.
If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you are crazy and/or insane and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile!
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile.
Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frickin' trix, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
If there are times when you want to annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you're too lazy to copy and paste this stuff into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that the goverment should keep "One nation under God..." in the pledge of allegiance, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that idiot girl in the Eggo waffle commercial should give her father some of those stupid waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction and/or fictionpress, copy this into your profile.
I think people should read this if they HATE child abusing. If you HATE child abusing like me copy and paste this to your profile.
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Deo Dvcente Nil Nocet. "Nothing can harm us when God leads us." If you believe this, copy and paste it into your profile.
TRANSFORMERS! IF YOU LIKE TRANSFORMERS COPY AND PASTE THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!!
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
The 100 Laws of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.
#1) Law of Metaphysical Irregularity - The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2) Law of Differential Gravitation - Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3) Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics - In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4) Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion - In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
#5) Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion - The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves; Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
#6) Law of Temporal Variability - Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7) First Law of Temporal Mortality – “Good Guys” and “Bad Guys” both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
#8) Second Law of Temporal Mortality - It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the “Bad Guys” are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9) Law of Dramatic Emphasis - Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
#10) Law of Dramatic Multiplicity - Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a “Good Guy” kicks the “Bad Guy” in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
#11) Law of Inherent Combustibility - Everything explodes. Everything.
#12) Law of Phlogistatic Emission - Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13) Law of Energetic Emission - There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14) Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude - The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
#15) Law of Inexhaustibility - No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and/or unconscious.
#16) Laws of Inverse Accuracy - The accuracy of a “Good Guy” when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the “Bad Guys” when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases (Also known as the Storm Trooper Effect).
#17) Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability - Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)
#18) Law of Hemoglobin Capacity - the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19) Law of Demonic Consistency - Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well...
#20) Law of Militaristic Unreliability - Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
#21) Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22) Law of Inconsequential Undetectability - People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23) Law of Juvenile Intellectuality - Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying...
#24) Law of Americanthromorphism - Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny “Bad Guy” or a big stupid “Good Guy”.
#25) Law of Mandibular Proportionality - The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26) Law of Feline Mutation - Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
#27) Law of Conservation of Firepower - Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.
#28) Law of Technological User-Benevolence - The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29) Law of Melee Luminescence - Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for “Good Guys” and red for “Bad Guys”. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30) Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism - All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31) Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability - Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
#32) Law of Follicular Permanence - Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#33) Law of Nothingness - There is no Law #33... I think.
#34) Law of Probable Attire - Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
#35) Law of Musical Omnipotence - Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more “simple things”, such examples would be like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36) Law of Quintupular Agglutination - Also called “The Five-man Rule”, when “Good Guys” group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
#37) Law of Extradimensional Capacitance - All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
#38) Law of Hydrostatic Emission - Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39) Law of Inverse Attraction - Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa.
#40) Law of Nasal Sanguination - When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections (no that occurs in H-manga sometimes), nope, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes mean smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds (though it’s very rare), but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41) Law of Xylolaceration - Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
#42) Law of Juvenile Omnipotence - Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43) Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia - There is no Law #43.
#44) Law of Nominative Clamovocation - The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45) Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis - Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it (unless they’re smart to try an action but then again such an action doesn’t exist much).
#46) Law of Flimsy Incognition - Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47) Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission - All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48) Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism - If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
#49) Law of Female Wrath - If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor"). This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff, Sniff)
#50) Law of Artistic Perversion - Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression...
#51) Law of Uninterruptable Nominative Clamovocation - This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the “Dragon Slave Phenomenon”)
#52) Law of Telepathic Obliviousness - Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC! The reasons for this are:
#53) Law of Chromatic Diversity - Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54) Law of Old Man Comic Relief - Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man, alien, or the combination of any two of those traits.
#55) Law of the Wise Old Man - Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56) Law of Omnipotent Unreliability - Any “Bad Guy” with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the “Good Guy” until it is too late.
#57) Law of Minimum Corneal Volume - Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman...
#58) Law of Electrical Charges in Hair - Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.
#59) Law of Ammunition Accuracy - When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods) non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to “standard” or “lethal” shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)
#60) Law of Active Female Attraction - In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)
#61) Law of Sweat Pore Variability - When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from a 7-11 shop.
#62) The Law of Inverse Training Time - A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63) Law of Needs to Few and Many - The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.
#64) Law of Bad Humor - Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65) Law of Extreme Anger - Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape (see law #49).
#66) Law of Differentiated Gravitation - The following occur:
#67) Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the “Bad Guy” inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68) Law of Coercive Vehicular Control - No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
#69) Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the “Bad Guy” usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70) Law of The Rushing Background Effect - Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.
#71) Law of Interdimensional Hammers - Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (See Laws # 37, 49, and 65)
#72) Law of Instant Band-Aids - Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73) Law of Universal Edge Defense - Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender (Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime).
#74) Law of Intractable Sanity - There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
#75) Law of Celestial Body Control - At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76) Law of Aura of Forgetfulness - Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77) Law of Cool Hair Factor - The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)
#78) Law of Inverse Coping - Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.
#79) Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability - The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...
#80) Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics - If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81) Law of Shades/Coolness Factor - Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.
#82) Law of Hentai Plot - The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83) Law of Understatement - Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible.
#84) Law of Dormant Powers - Anytime a hero is somehow out powered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85) Law of Style Coefficient - In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (See Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86) Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor - Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the “Good Guy” because they’re EVIL! They usually get so cocky they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:
#87) Law of Tableware Nonexistence - There IS no spoon.
#88) Law of Goofy Turn-Ons - In Hentai, ordinary pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89) Law of Penile Variance - All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90) Law of Hentai Female Characteristics - All Hentai women have the following characteristics:
#91) Law of Vaginal Variance - Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.
#92) Law of Hero Identification - All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.
#93) Law of Cute Mascots - Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
#94) Law of The Force - Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95) Law of Naughty Tentacles - All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
#96) Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur.
#97) Law of Healing - Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect")
#98) Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics - All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, has the following crew members:
#99) Law of Sparkles - Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100) Law of Anime Events - Much like the WWE (and other forms of Pro Wrestling), anything and everything can happen.
This was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends, as well as gatherings from various internet sources in order to help others understand the things that happen in anime (and manga). And so, to help others understand anime, after you have read this, if you wish you may copy and paste this to your profile. Thank you.
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