PulchritudinousPain
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Joined 07-10-16, id: 8050188, Profile Updated: 05-15-18
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Sex Ed by MrBenzedrine reviews
Hermione Granger comes to Hogwarts to teach a much needed Biology curriculum to the students. Draco Malfoy, the Potions teacher, doesn't approve of the sex ed. A bet ensues. Who will come out victorious? Rated M for lemons. COMPLETE. ****FIRST PLACE: BEST FLUFF/HUMOR 2017 Dramione Awards***
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 142,690 - Reviews: 1396 - Favs: 2,344 - Follows: 1,060 - Updated: 6/1/2017 - Published: 7/4/2016 - [Hermione G., Draco M.] Ron W., Neville L. - Complete
Sense and Insensibility by DesertC reviews
Hermione is afflicted by a curse. Her hyper-attuned senses mean that the entire world overwhelms her. She returns to Hogwarts in the hope that it can be the haven she needs. But she finds that it provides far more than she ever expected.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 63,785 - Reviews: 827 - Favs: 574 - Follows: 480 - Updated: 5/21/2017 - Published: 2/5/2017 - [Hermione G., Severus S.] - Complete
Doing it for the Order by DesertC reviews
The Order asks Hermione Granger to lay down for Severus Snape.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 33 - Words: 79,717 - Reviews: 1075 - Favs: 940 - Follows: 696 - Updated: 1/27/2017 - Published: 11/5/2016 - [Severus S., Hermione G.] - Complete
An Hour of Snape by DesertC reviews
Hermione Granger has paid for an hour alone with a Severus Snape look-alike. At least she thinks she has. Mature readers only.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,812 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 427 - Follows: 89 - Published: 11/3/2016 - [Hermione G., Severus S.] - Complete
Debaucery by DesertC reviews
Debauchery and Sorcery - a powerful combination. Severus is finally free and immerses himself in his newfound freedom by pursuing hedonistic pleasures. Regarded as both a hero and man of mystery, he has become an object of desire for many. However, one woman seems to be immune to his seductive charm.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 19 - Words: 61,364 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 283 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 10/24/2016 - Published: 10/5/2016 - [Severus S., Hermione G.] Ginny W., Katie B. - Complete
Learning to Live--with Snape by ArabellaFaith reviews
Sparks fly when Hermione and her ex potions professor are forced together. A Marriage Law fic, mature readers please! **Now with Audio book available on youtube! Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 95,040 - Reviews: 1040 - Favs: 1,610 - Follows: 860 - Updated: 10/19/2016 - Published: 7/13/2013 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Cursing in French by Toodleoo reviews
Hermione didn't know why she was so fixated on Severus Snape. When she has the chance to go back in time, she has a rare opportunity to get closer to him. If only she weren't leaving him to his fate... (Time Turner. Rated M for language and sexual scenes.)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,251 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 48 - Published: 9/13/2016 - [Hermione G., Severus S.] - Complete
Too Close for Comfort by kci47 reviews
Hermione has tried every last tactic to avoid noticing Professor Snape's voice, all to no avail. So when she finds herself in close quarters with the man, she has to convince him to remain silent. / Response to SSHG SmutFest on livejournal. Warnings within.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,487 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 49 - Published: 9/9/2016 - [Hermione G., Severus S.] - Complete
Whiskey Time Travel by Sapper One reviews
When Unspeakable Harry Potter wakes up in 1976, he determines he's either A: In the past. Or B: In a mental hospital. At least the firewhiskey still tastes the same. Waiting tables at the Three Broomsticks, drunken death eater bar fights, annoying an attractive but pushy auror, and avoiding his mother's crush on him is just another day in the life of Harry Potter, 1976
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 32,153 - Reviews: 1177 - Favs: 6,714 - Follows: 8,376 - Updated: 8/11/2016 - Published: 5/7/2015 - Harry P., Amelia B., Rosmerta, Nicolas F.
The Wall by AmaliaIR reviews
Hermione and Draco's Head common room has an unexpected and uncomfortable problem. 7th year AU. One-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,350 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 346 - Follows: 56 - Published: 8/9/2016 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Book That Binds by DesertC reviews
Hermione Granger is the newly-appointed Professor of Muggle Studies and Severus Snape is the not-so-newly-appointed Professor of making her life a misery. But could a simple book be enough to bring them together?
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,783 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 8/2/2016 - Published: 7/30/2016 - [Hermione G., Severus S.] - Complete
Draco Malfoy and the Squeaky Shoes by shilo1364 reviews
When spoiled toddler Draco's tantrums grow to epic proportions, they threaten Lucius' sanity. Narcissa saves the day with a pair of muggle squeaky shoes. family, fluff, and humor. One-shot. Complete. UPDATES: podfic available on archive of our own - archiveofourown (dot) org (slash) works (slash) 11035707
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,766 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/24/2016 - [Draco M., Harry P.] [Lucius M., Narcissa M.] - Complete
Because You're Mine by RZZMG reviews
"No emotional entanglements. That had been the agreement at the beginning of this, and if I want to keep seeing her, I have to make her think I'm living up to that end of the bargain..." Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger-Weasley meet at a married swinger's club & become involved. Post-Hogwarts ( 10 years). Dramione. Romance/Angst/Drama. 2015 Dramione-Duet entry. One-shot. COMPLETE!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,084 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 130 - Published: 6/22/2016 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Veil is Thin by ruin-me-dramione reviews
When the war is everywhere you suddenly see, what really matters. You don't hide your feelings anymore and just go for it. No matter the outcome. "You're so thin!" he exclaimed, looking her over. "And you're dead." Hermione whispered." Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,624 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/15/2016 - Hermione G., Draco M., N. Tonks - Complete
Promises & Peonies by blondkellycrazy reviews
He was like clockwork and every evening she would watch him.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 786 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/16/2016 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Trolls and Mistletoe by Lena Phoria reviews
Back for her 8th Year, Hermione finds herself alone at Hogwarts for Christmas. That is, until a chance encounter with Draco, the one other person who's stayed behind, leads the two of them on a domino effect that can only end under the mistletoe. "There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them"
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,416 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 469 - Follows: 146 - Published: 12/13/2015 - [Hermione G., Draco M.] - Complete
The Deadline by Lena Phoria reviews
It takes the unexpected engagement of their children to get Draco and Hermione in a room together, but only the selfish acts of their estranged spouses and a 300 Galleon bottle of firewhiskey will get them in a bedroom. What starts out as a one time mistake soon becomes a full-blown affair with a deadline; the day their children say 'I do'. But things rarely go according to plan.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 329,548 - Reviews: 3397 - Favs: 3,954 - Follows: 2,174 - Updated: 10/3/2014 - Published: 11/8/2013 - [Hermione G., Draco M.] [Rose W., Scorpius M.] - Complete
Isolation by Bex-chan reviews
He can't leave the room. Her room. And it's all the Order's fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something's going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. "There," she spat. "Now your Blood's filthy too!" DM/HG. PostHBP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 48 - Words: 278,881 - Reviews: 15576 - Favs: 24,409 - Follows: 14,470 - Updated: 4/5/2014 - Published: 9/2/2010 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Comrades In Arms by Theolyn reviews
It's Hermione's last day on earth...How do you think she wants to spend it? One shot, angst and romance and smut all rolled up into one. AU after HBP.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,277 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 15 - Published: 9/16/2012 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Snape's Oceans by Theolyn reviews
Who would Severus become without his burden of self-loathing? And how will that Severus react when Ron Weasley's widow comes seeking healing of her own? DH compliant, save for Snape's survival. SS/LP followed by SS/HG M for later chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 62,459 - Reviews: 836 - Favs: 623 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 10/22/2011 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
The Politician's Wife by pir8fancier reviews
Hermione hates Draco in the springtime, Hermione hates Draco in the fall, Hermione hates Draco 247.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 68,629 - Reviews: 593 - Favs: 1,670 - Follows: 490 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 10/14/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Hard Times for Severus Snape by Ms-Figg reviews
Severus is working on a male enhancement potion and Albus informs him he has to mentor an apprentice over the summer months. We all know who that is, don't we? Graphic Content, AU, HUMOR, lemons and more M/F
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 64,838 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 632 - Follows: 132 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete