Anime lover. An Otaku, if you will.
Age: Ha! As if i'd tell you that.
Home: Where your heart is... where is it again?
Favorite Anime / manga: Naruto,Fairy tail, Bleach, Full Metal Alchemist... it goes on for a while. A very very long while
Favorite book series: Percy Jackson and the Olympians although some book series like Artemis Fowl and Alex Rider are good.
Personality: Quiet and optimistic, but very friendly and easy to work with(Meh. just kidding. I don't even know what my personality is like)
Favorite pairings in general: Naru/Hina, Neji/Ten, Shika/Tem, etc
Honorary Member of The Book of Log.
If you worship the holyness that is the log, copy and paste this section onto your profile
Position: Log Worshipper.
Possible Book of Log Positions:
Log Worshiper: Beginning position. No requirements
Log Priest: You have created at least 1 Naruto related fanfic that frequently (every 2-4 chapters) praises the almighty log and actually fits into the story
Log Pope (there can be more than 1 pope... its safer that way): you have created 3 naruto related fanfics that frequently praise the almighty log
OR the Fanfic that already occasionally praises the log has at least 400 reviews
OR you create a (decently made) Naruto fanfic focused on praising the log... log forbid.
Excerpt of the log number 124: when using the log to escape a fire jutsu, it is Konoha custom to write an apology letter to the log, and depending on rank of jutsu escaped from depicts how many words are needed. c-rank, two thousand, B-rank, one thousand five hundred, a-rank, one thousand. only S-rank and higher or excused from the writing of the letter. even then, it is still recommended.
Log excerpt number 231: if Konoha Shinobi celebrate the holiday of Christmas, then it is required that they put gifts under the Christmas log. Use of a full tree is an insult to the log and if found out that Shinobi is ineligible from using the log for a period of two months.
Log excerpt number 437: Use of the log in a situation that clearly could be avoided using a variety of other methods or techniques is looked down upon. In order to repent for such actions, the following steps should be taken:
For every dent caused by your replacement you shall plant one sapling.
For every stab wound caused by your replacement you shall plant five
For every hole in the log caused by your replacement you shall plant ten
For every detached piece of the log caused by your replacement you shall
plant one sapling per square inch of detached log.
For a destroyed and unusable log caused by your replacement you shall plant
If your log is defective you may call 1-800-BAD-LOGS to file a complaint. If
your case is proven correctly your next replacement will be half off.
'and the willow sayeth unto the ninja: wherefore dost i weep? 'tis tears of joy, as thy kin and mine together fell thine foes, who would bring the axe and torch to the wood. the log ist thine ally, and mine kin. calling upon the log, is to call upon me. to aid thee in battle, i weep my tear of joy.
and the ninja spoke: yea, thee and thine kin shall forever be blessed among me and mine kin. for thine bravery will never be forgotten.'
-book of the log, song of the willow, verses 1-4
'as the log takes your place, you become the log. the log becomes you. for a moment, you are an extension of the logs blessing unto ninja.'
-book of the log, chronicle of the replacement verse 3
'you are fools! your log is but a mockery of the power of ninja!- the ninja from the desert declared. and the people shook their heads.
you have been denied the log for a long time, sandwalker. we cannot force you to see the glory of the log, but know this. when the time comes, and you have no other allies to call upon, the log will hear your prayers, and aid you.'
-book of the log, redwood journals verses 15-16
'and as the smoke cleared, his foe stared in awe at the log. blackened and charred, the log crumbled. the ninja, filled with righteous wrath, fell upon his foe and slew him. he made his way to the log, and wept. his companion, the log that had accompanied him through so many battles, was no more. he spoke thus to his fallen companion: though now you have fallen in battle, you rest where the logs forever grow. the forest of life called for you, and you answered its call, as you did mine. i thank you my friend.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle I, verses 78-82
'he despaired, for in this place of stone and earth, there was no logs to be found. reaching out with all his might, he begged for a log in the forsaken wasteland. and he was answered, and saved by the log, in a place where there were none.
-book of the log, wanderers saga, verses 7-9
'the log took his place and fell, forever into the abyss. the people, hearing of this, railed against him, in such numbers he swore to never endanger another log again. for many years, he fought without the log, growing more and more weary with each passing day. finally, he came across a foe that was too strong for him. as his life was about to end, he felt a familiar pull, and found himself out of harms way, seeing a log in his place. his stunned foe was felled in his stupor, and he approached the log, he knew it, for it was the same that fell so long ago. he asked of the log: why did you endanger yourself for me again? have you not done enough for me? and the log spoke: it is my duty, and our bond. we exist to save the ninja, and they exist to save the trees. we both play a part, for which i am content.'
-book of the log, honor of the forest canticle II, verses 59-70
Let it be known that it is absolutely forbidden to willingly perform the technique known as "1000 years of death" on a log. It is also equally frowned upon for one to replace oneself with a holy log for the purpose of avoiding said technique. The punishment for such actions is at least 6 months of banishment from the use of the holy log.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
'Hate is a special kind of love that you give to the people you do not like.' ((True that))
I you think NejiHina is gross, not to mention sick and wrong on sooo many levels, copy and paste this onto your profile, then add your name to the list: Uzumaki Ricky,GrandmasterOtaku.
Re-post if your a Otaku and proud:
It's not a comic book, it's "Manga"
It's not a cartoon, it's "Anime"
It's not homosexual, it's "Yaoi"
It's not lesbian, it's "Yuri"
It's not erotic, it's "Ecchi"
It's not pedophile, it's "Lolicon"
It's not gay, it's "Shonen-ai"
It's not slutty, it's "Fan Service"
It's not a costume, it's "Cosplay"
It's not a dating show, it's a "Harem"
It's not a fetish, it's "Moe"
It's not a bipolar girl, it's "Tsundere"
It's not a drawing, it's "Doujinshi"
It's not schizophrenic girl, it's "Yandere"
It's not Chinese, it's "Japanese" (Not trying to be racist, I didn't write it. But it's refering that some(meaning most) get confused and think anime is actually chinese animation.)
It's not Chinese animation, it's "Japanimation" (look it up)
And most Importantly... I'm not a geek, I'm an "Otaku."
If you are a Proud Otaku like me, copy this and post it on your wall.
This is unbelievably true:
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.
Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress
This is from Kyuubi69Assassin (I like my luck sooo)
When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.
Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?
What Ninja Rank Are You (Naruto)
Your Result: Anbu
Due to your excellence, and capability in your high-ranked missions, you have been appointed to the rank of Anbu, the direct control unit of the Hokage. Through-out your village, you are known as the village's secret service, but are somewhat feared due to your secrecy, authority, and specialty in assasination techniques.
Which Naruto Chakra Element Do You Possess?
Congratulations, your result has been determined. You share this result with 44% of our members.
WHICH NARUTO CHARACTER ARE YOU?
WHICH FAIRY TAIL CHARACTER ARE YOU?
Natsu is a fire-magic wizard, and was taught by a Dragon named Igneel. Natsu has a carefree and reckless nature, and frequently get into fights with his members form Fairy tail. He is very competitive and always trys to prove how strong he is. Despite his reckless and headstrong nature, he cares deeply for Fairy tail and does not allow anyone to sully its name. He usually gets motion sickness when riding any type of vechicle. When time of need Natsu always comes to the rescuse.
Fuuton: Wind Release
Katon: Fire Release
Suiton: Water Release
Doton: Earth Release
Raiton: Lightning Release
Inton: Yin Release (only spiritual energy) - genjutsu fall under this category but not full manipulation.
Yoton: Yang Release (only physical energy) - taijutsu possibly but not full manipulation.
Onmyoton: Yin-Yang release (physical/spiritual energy) - any non-elemental technique such as clones but not full manipulation.
Advanced Natures/Kekkei Genkai: Those with the same chakra possible natures could actually have a different ratio of one nature to another when mixed, which allowed for the different advanced nature to be used. Then again, most are kekkei genkai and therefore I guess it doesn't really matter in that aspect. But...for those such as lava release that have different users who are unrelated to each other, the style creates different corrosive substances. So perhaps the ratio idea I have isn't so far-fetched after all.
Hyoton: Ice Release (Water/Wind)
Mokuton: Wood Release (Water/Earth)
Ranton: Storm Release (Lightning/Water)
Jinton: Swift Release ( Lightning/Wind maybe?)
Enton: Blaze Release (Mangekyou Black Flame Manipulation Technique Used By Uchiha Sasuke Only.)
Only Known Kekkei Tota
Jinton (Same romanization): Dust Release (Fire/Wind/Earth)
Bakuton: Explosion Release (Lightning/Earth)
Yoton: Lava Release (Earth/Fire)
Shakuton: Scorch Release (Fire/Wind)
Jiton: Magnet Release (Wind/Earth )
Meiton: Darkness Release (Unknown Combined Nature)
Koton: Steel Release (Unknown - Earth/Fire maybe)
Shoton: Crystal Release (Unknown - Earth/Unknown element)
Futton: Boil Release (Fire/Water)
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
RIP We shall remember
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.
If you think Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile. NARUHINA FTW!! DarkSamuraiX1999,GrandmasterOtaku
If you don't think that Naruto belongs with Sakura and you are thinking-"NARUSAKU? HELL NO!!!!" then copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are an addict to Naruto and favorite couple is NaruHina then copy & paste this to your profile By Aaron Leach and DarkSamuraiX1999
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list:Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Uzumaki Ricky,GrandmasterOtaku
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are the greatest pairing, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Uzumaki Ricky,Grandmaster,Otaku
If you actually wouldn't mind school if it was Naruto-related, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name here: Moonlight Music Mistress, Xanie,NejiTenfanforever, Death Note Lover, NarutoLuver35, FDS-Sasuke-fangirl, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Uzumaki Ricky,Grandmasterotaku
If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room.
She said:'How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right?
When can I see him?'
The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make
Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer? Doesn't God care any more?
Where were you, God, when my son needed you?'
The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the
nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.'
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran
her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of
his hair ?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's
hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for
Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, but Jimmy said,
'Mom, I won't be using it after I die Maybe it will help some other little boy
spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold.
Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could.'
Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending
most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on
the seat beside her in the car.
The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She
carried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room
exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging
his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was a
folded letter. T he letter said:
I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I will ever forget you,
or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say 'I Love You'. I will
always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other
again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely,
that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you
decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys
do. You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
Don't be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and
Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take
a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly.
And, you know what? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw
Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD ! And guess what, Mom ?
I got to sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important.
That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye
and everything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom
? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I
think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to
you. God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked
Him 'Where was He when I needed him ?' 'God said He was in the same place with
me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as He always is
with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I've written except you. To
everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool ? I have to
give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in the Book of
Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food
will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore The cancer is all gone.
I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand to
see me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get
me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.
If you would do this for your parents as well, please copy and paste the story this and add your name to the list: UniqueMelody, Crysteelia, DigiDestined of Balance, Jingo4754, Sgt.Nolisten, Angelito.Soldado, Uzumaki Ricky,GrandmasterOtaku
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are the greatest pairing, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger, Aaa222xx, .'Angelito soldado'., Uzumaki Ricky
If you'd rather stay at home than go go to school, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to slap Naruto silly for being so dense and stupid for not realizing that Hinata loves him, copy and paste this!
If you don't enjoy doing homework, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to smack the living daylights out of Sasuke for abandoning Sakura, copy and paste this to your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this to your profile
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!
I want Child Abuse to stop and if you do too, copy and paste this into your profile..
Naruto fanfics are overpopulated by yaoi, primarily NaruSasu. If you believe me put this on your Order of ChaosLink, Dark_Magician_41, and DarkSamuraiX1999
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile. NARUHINA FTW!! DarkSamuraiX1999, Uzmaki Ricky,GrandmasterOtaku
If you are an addict to Naruto and favorite couple is NaruHina then copy & paste this to your profile By Aaron Leach and DarkSamuraiX1999
If you hate NejiHina then copy & paste this into your profile By Aaron Leach and DarkSamuraiX1999
If someone trying to convince you that any Hinata pairing that isn't NaruHina, is good pisses you off copy and paste to your profile! DarkSamuraix1999
If you think that SasuHina is complete bullshit and that the people who came up with it or write it should get a lobotomy put this in your profile and add your name to the list. Artful Lounger, Naruto Namikaze the Legend, The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, DarkSamuraiX1999, Uzumaki Ricky,GrandmsaterOtaku
If someone says they like NaruHina and half the stories they write are anti-NaruHina or the artwork they make is anti-NaruHina, and that just makes you wanna go ape-shit. Copy and Paste in your profile! DarkSamuraiX1999
If you absolutely cannot stand the mere thought of Naruto and Sakura as a couple, copy and paste this into your profile.
To all "Hinata Cheats On Naruto Fic Writers." FUCK YOU!!!! In no way will Hinata cheat on Naruto, especially with Kiba of all people. She is too much in love with Naruto to do something like that. Copy and paste to profile if you agree.
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile
If you hate NejiHina, or KibaHina, or any other coupling with Hinata that doesn't involve Naruto, then copy & paste this into your profile
Put this on your page if you love Naruto!
Put this on your page if you love Hinata!
Put this on your page if you love NARUTO X HINATA (and to help them gain world domination).
Me, behave? Seriously? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while… eating pills that enhanced his performance, and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies.
Repost, If you had this childhood and loved it!
A friend of mine found evidence pointing to NaruHina being a better couple then NaruSaku: Naruto's parents.
So many people have said Sakura is like Kushina. and there are one or two elements of similarity between them. but Hinata is far more like Kushina then Sakura ever will be.
But he found that Hinata is more like Minato. Think about it. Naruto is basically Kushina's personality in Naruto's body, yes? Where as Hinata is like Minato. She is a quiet and reserved person, which Minato was as well. And, like Minato, she was too shy to tell Naruto she cared about him, like Minato with Kushina. Both Minato and Hinata watched their loved ones from afar, until Naruto was about to be defeated by Pein and Kushina was kidnapped by Kumo. At that point, both Hinata and Minato went to save their love ones, and admit their love for them in the process.
See the similarities? In many way, it's almost like a gender reversal of the same relationship.
Forums I'm a Part of:
Fairy Tail Forever!
Fairy Tail! A New Adventure!
Welcome to Hell
Fairy Tail United
The Infamous Fairy Tail Guild!
Thank you for reading this, hope you have a nice day :D
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven
Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile
If you believe Jesus is the only way to be saved from your sins and is the only way to God, and therefore Heaven, copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list: Kaisaan Greenleaf, Xaja Silversheen, Mystic Winter, Mrs. Fantasy, Dimcairien, NBrokenShacklesN, DragonKingDragneel25
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
God totally owns fanfiction, everyone on it, every thought concerning it, every thought otherwise in the world, every particle in the world and universe, Is and loving and amazingly forgiving (takes a dramatic gasp of air and continues) has power and wisdom beyond even our wildest dreams, and DOES EXIST. If you agree, please, do copy and paste.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life- John 3:16
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God- Romans 3:23
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord- Romans 6:23
Choose you this day whom ye will serve:...as for me and my house we will serve the Lord- Joshua 24:15
The male equivalent of the 10 Commandments
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.
We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
We're a Dying Breed
To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait.”
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because. To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car. To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.
...This one bulletin is for you...
Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed " If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."
See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. You know that girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on make-up hoping people will like her. That boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. That guy you just made fun of for crying? His mother is dying.
Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't Your life is probably not as harsh as theirs.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
15 WAYS TO DRIVE PEOPLE INSANE:
1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
4) In the memo field of all your checks, write "FOR SEXUAL FAVORS."
5) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
6) Don't use any punctuation
7) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
8) Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
9) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
10) Sing along at the opera.
11) Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
12) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
13) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!"
14) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
15) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
100 Rules of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural
#1 - Law of Metaphysical Irregularity- The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2 - Law of Differential Gravitation- Whenever someone or something jumps, is
#3 - Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics- In space, loud
#4 - Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion- In space, constant thrust
#5 - Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion- The larger a
#6 - Law of Temporal Variability- Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero
#7 - First Law of Temporal Mortality- "Good Guys" and "Bad Guys" both die in one of
#8 - Second Law of Temporal Mortality- It takes some time for bad guys to die...
#9 - Law of Dramatic Emphasis- Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are
#10- Law of Dramatic Multiplicity- Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a
#11- Law of Inherent Combustibility- Everything explodes. Everything.
#12- Law of Phlogistatic Emission- Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13- Law of Energetic Emission- There is always an energy build up (commonly
#14- Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude- The destructive potential of any
#15- Law of Inexhaustibility- No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of
#16- Laws of Inverse Accuracy- The accuracy of a "Good Guy" when operating any form
#17- Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability- Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The
#18- Law of Hemoglobin Capacity- the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood,
#19- Law of Demonic Consistency- Demons and other supernatural creatures have at
#20- Law of Militaristic Unreliability- Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and
#21- Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22 -Law of Inconsequential Undetectability- People never notice the little
#23- Law of Juvenile Intellectuality- Children are smarter than adults. And almost
#24- Law of Americanthromorphism- Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles,
#25- Law of Mandibular Proportionality- The size of a person’s mouth is directly
#26- Law of Feline Mutation- Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
#27- Law of Conservation of Firepower- Any powerful weapon capable of
#28- Law of Technological User-Benevolence- The formal training required to operate
#29- Law of Melee Luminescence- Any being displaying extremely high levels of
#30- Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism- All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are
#31- Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability- Any color in the visible spectrum is
#32- Law of Follicular Permanence- Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and
#34- Law of Probable Attire- Clothing in anime follows certain predictable
#35- Law of Musical Omnipotence- Any character capable of musical talent (singing,
#36- Law of Quintupular Agglutination- Also called "The Five-man Rule", when "Good
#37- Law of Extradimensional Capacitance- All anime females have an
#38- Law of Hydrostatic Emission- Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is
#39- Law of Inverse Attraction- Success at finding suitable mates is inversely
#40- Law of Nasal Sanguination- When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get
#41- Law of Xylolaceration- Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal
#42- Law of Juvenile Omnipotence- Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it
#43- Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia- There is no Law #43.
#44- Law of Nominative Clamovocation- the likelihood of success and damage done by a
#45- Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis- Regardless of how long or involved the
#46- Law of Flimsy Incognition- Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
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