Agent047
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 05-14-05, id: 813855, Profile Updated: 08-27-18
Author has written 14 stories for StarTrek: The Original Series, and Pirates of the Caribbean.

Hey guys. Welcome to my profile!

08/24/2018

I'm working on revising some old POTC stories (Some Sort of Misunderstanding, etc.) and plan to re-post them in the near future. I'll probably take the old ones down at some point and then start posting the new revised versions. I've really worked on improving the characters and their relationships, the plot and pacing, and the overall writing. It's still basically the same story... just a better version!

04/07/2018

The parody is up! Check it out! I have Pirates 5 on Blu-Ray but it still could be slow going with the updates, so please be patient with me. My brother and I like to take our time with these things to make sure every chapter is up to our rigorous standards. ;)

06/01/2017

I haven't posted anything since I started my full-time job two years ago, but I'm still here! I've been toying with some revisions of past works (currently working on rewriting Some Sort of Misunderstanding). I'm considering a mini-story involving Jack, the Commodore, Calypso, and the locker, just for the fun of it, as well as a 4th installment of the "Ruby series" (Some Sort of Misunderstanding, The Alliance, and Love and War.)

When I'm not writing parodies, I'm a full-time Marketing Assistant and a part-time portrait photographer. I'm a wife to my high school sweetheart and a "cat mom" to two rambunctious felines. I was in marching band and theatre in high school, and now I participate in the drama department's alumni summer shows. Most notably I was Cinderella's Stepmother in Into the Woods two years ago. My current Netflix obsessions are "New Girl" and "Jane the Virgin." I'm in my late 20's. I live in the mid-west United States, but I've loved the ocean to the east ever since my first trip to Maine when I was four.

Recommended Stories/Authors

A Halcyon Sea by Mariner - Norrington/OC

The Plight of Honourable Men by Larael - Norribeth

Hero Uncalled For by silmelinde - Norrington/OC

Taken but not Forgotten by silmelinde - Norrington is raised as Jack's adopted brother

Lost, Free, and Reborn by silmelinde - three parts of an arc, Norrington/OC mixed with tragedy and redemption

My Stories

The Trouble With Sloths - My first story, and my only non-POTC story. I was fourteen, my brother was twelve, and Sid from Ice Age was just our favorite character ever. So we put him on the starship Enterprise. It's very silly, and as far as I know it's never been revised. So pure.

A Pirate's Life for Me - Written around the same time as "The Trouble With Sloths." I think on some level I've always been fascinated by the "relationship" between Jack Sparrow and Commodore Norrington... so my brother and I put together a scenario in which they switched bodies. Just to mess with them.

Family Reunion & The Pursuit of Happiness - A story and a sequel. I can't remember how I came up with the concept that Jack and Norrington should share a niece and have to be "co-parents." These are a bit old as well, but I like to think they're fun, and sweet.

State of Mind - A oneshot that was originally going to be a scene in "The Pursuit of Happiness," but I thought fit better at the beginning of Norrington's career. Could probably use some revisions, but I just used this to explore the way I imagine Norrington sees himself and his career.

Some Sort of Misunderstanding , The Alliance , & Love and War - The idea for the first installment came to me, and I wrote it even though I knew it had been done a thousand times before. But I liked the characters and relationships I created, so I kept going. I had planned to stop after "Love and War," but now I'm thinking I might do a fourth! These exist in my own little POTC universe, where anything beyond the 1st film basically never happened.

Two Evils - This one actually acknowledges canon! And even (mostly) stays true to the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd films. I think Lt. Groves is overlooked and I wanted to explore him, his role, and his journey through the storyline.

The Parodies - Bundles of fun from aspirin to zunes.

Noteworthy Notes

I really appreciate it when you guys read my stuff... and, like everyone, I love it when you leave me a review, even if you just say you read it. Feel free to tell me what you don't like, or if I'm getting lazy, or leaving something out, too. As self-serving as it sounds, reviews tend to encourage me to keep writing the story... because I know someone out there wants to read it badly enough to tell me so. It's kind of discouraging to see a bunch of hits and no reviews... if it's really that boring, tell me and I'll (try to) fix it! :)

And if you want me to read your stuff, just ask. I don't mind. But make sure to let me know if you actually want specific feedback. I don't try to pretend like I know more than I do, and I hate sounding critical (especially over the internet), but if you want feedback from me I'd be happy to give it. Or if you just want me to check out something you've written, then that's great too and I don't mind doing that... just let me know! :)


Thanks for visiting!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Marching Band for Morons by PhantomPenguin reviews
COMPLETE! Anything and everything that you could possibly want to know about marching band, comprised into a satirical parady of a how-to book.
Marching Band - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 24,249 - Reviews: 447 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 7/30/2015 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Complete
Free by silmelinde reviews
James is ready to enter a sailing career when the first stirrings of love reach him. Love is found and lost for years until the day James survives the wound obtained on the Flying Dutchman. But, his life is still in danger as he is cast at the mercy of the sea.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 64,026 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/8/2015 - Published: 8/14/2011 - James N. - Complete
What Tangled Webs by Smenzer reviews
Post AWE. Elizabeth goes to the Locker to rescue James and Will searches for a way to make his wife immortal. Includes Greek mythology and a few characters from Horatio Hornblower. Norribeth, some Will/Elizabeth. Adventure, monsters, humor.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 33,656 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 2/19/2013 - Published: 7/20/2008 - Elizabeth S., James N.
A Pirate's Boy by InkPoisoning reviews
"Now Jackie boy, every good pirate is quietly a noble, honest man. The trick is to keep that respectableness a secret." Like any six-year-old boy, he wants to be like dear old Da. Learning to be a pirate, however, is proving more difficult than expected.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,234 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 6/14/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Teague
The Plight of Honourable Men by Larael reviews
The tale of an honourable Commodore and a not so honourable Governor's daughter and their personal struggles to understand just what it means to love and be loved in return. Rated T for later chapters. No flames allowed.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 51 - Words: 81,451 - Reviews: 227 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 1/11/2012 - Published: 7/27/2010 - Elizabeth S., James N. - Complete
Regrets, I may have had a few by orpsgod reviews
Jack and James in the Locker and beyond.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 12,675 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 11/24/2011 - Published: 6/26/2010 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, James N.
Dear, Sincerely, by Gwennie333 reviews
Little jokes using the 'dear blank, please blank' concept. Update every day!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 100 - Words: 8,685 - Reviews: 739 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011
Groves' Separate Peace by Jennifer Lynn Weston reviews
After the Battle of the Maelstrom, Theodore Groves gets rescue, work assignments, sad news, and consolation from the same unlikely source. PG for a bit of impolite language.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,024 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Capt. Jack Sparrow - Complete
My Name is Jack by insane.lil.piratess reviews
You know the kind of pirate that does nothing but bad things and then wonders why he can't get anything right? Well, that was Jack! But now, with the help of a few old pals, Jack's on the quest for good karma and eternal life... but it's never so simple.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,891 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/10/2009 - Published: 11/14/2008 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Arabella S.
Harry's in the House by SinfulPerfection reviews
When Harry contracts a muggle illness, St. Mungo's is baffled. So Dr. House agrees to take the case. But House is a little too interested in wizardry, and Ron is a little too interested in Cameron. Despite all of this, will they save Harry in time?
Crossover - Harry Potter & House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,202 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 6/20/2009
Ickle Ficlets Volume 2 by PinkAphid reviews
Shadabing, shadaboom. To sum up: if you have a short attention span and are enticed by humour and pie, please indulge me and read. It'll be worth your while.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 11,917 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/3/2008 - Published: 4/21/2006
The Norrington Vignettes by Proud Titania reviews
Commodore James Norrington has a very complex life that the average moviegoer knows little about. Updated: Norrington gets a makeover!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 4,522 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/25/2008 - Published: 9/19/2006
Adventures in the Bar of Killed off Characters by Captain Pagie reviews
DEDICATED TO NOTA LONE! Boromir, Haldir, and Sirius Black are in a bar where all characters that have been killed off from other novels dwell. Will they drive each other insane? Or will they work together to fidn a way out?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,024 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/10/2008 - Published: 4/12/2005 - Boromir, Haldir
Fight or Flight by ElfLuver13 reviews
After Murtagh and Eragon's confrontation on the Burning Plains, Murtagh returns to Uru'baen and a very distressed Galbatorix. Soon after, he is sent on another mission with an assassin as his companion. Full summary inside. MurtaghOFC
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,288 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 6/3/2008 - Published: 2/2/2007
Parody of the Caribbean: Dumb Man's Composition by Luna-GrrrBack023 reviews
Parody of Dead Man's Chest. Could be said it's a sequel to Curse of the Bungled Prose, even though I'm not done with that yet. Enjoy the antics Jack, Will, Elizabeth, Norrington, Beckett, and Davy Jones in this new interpretation.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 12,692 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/31/2007 - Published: 8/14/2006
A Family Affair by Moussaillon de Havilland reviews
Everyone seems to be doing Jack's daughter fics. What about Barbossa's daughter? No pairings. It's post AWE, contains teensy weensy spoilers. You've all seen it by now anyway, right?
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,726 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 8/27/2007 - Published: 6/4/2007 - Hector B.
101 Ways To Go Insane From Being A In A Fanfiction by E. Linnet reviews
What do our characters do in they're spare time? They talk to each other, whine about authors and...well, just read and find out!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,486 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 8/20/2007 - Published: 10/8/2006
Band Jokes! by LonelyBeat reviews
I have gotten all of these jokes off of different websites Read at your own risk
Marching Band - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,473 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/27/2007 - Published: 2/9/2007
Escape by An Elf and a Space Pirate reviews
Two original characters, both running from their pasts. Along the way they meet on a pirate ship called the Black Pearl, fall in and out of love, and face plenty of danger and adventure before they finally have to face what they are trying to escape.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 42,205 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/24/2007 - Published: 9/6/2006 - Complete
The Curse of the Piratical Parody by Lily Evanstar reviews
Parody of Pirates of the the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. 'Nuff said.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 16,022 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 3/21/2007 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Complete
Class Project by delorean88 reviews
Marlene McFly and an OC are doing a class project about life for teenagers in the 1980s. But when they accidentally go to 1986, they experience it firsthand. Hilarity ensues. Story complete! Please review!
Back to the Future - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,960 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/21/2007 - Published: 5/23/2006
Stupid & Stupider: The Revenge of the Idiots by Christy Tortland reviews
A parody of Revenge of the Sith. Anakin loves detonators and skateboards, Obi Wan's a space pirate, Soda's a Pepsiaholic, Scalpatine's a figurine collector, and Crabme is a neat freak.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 44 - Words: 45,585 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 2/13/2007 - Published: 11/6/2005 - Obi-Wan K., Anakin Skywalker - Complete
All about Jack Sparrow and others by threeheadedmonkey reviews
I was wondering what our favourite pirate would reply if he were sent one of those Get to know your friends emails...If you want me to do more characters, just send me your suggestions and I'll see what I can do:
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 14,405 - Reviews: 310 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/28/2006 - Published: 8/18/2006
Parody of the Caribbean:Curse of the Bungled Prose by Luna-GrrrBack023 reviews
Yet another parody of our favorite movie. Same plot and characters as the movie but with all the strange little plot plays and twists I could make. Includes ADD, black market light fixtures, a bone crushing death trap, and a volcano.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 24,246 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/14/2006 - Published: 6/15/2006 - Complete
The Babysitter by CocaCola Gold reviews
He made his voice high and copied Elizabeth’s, 'Oh, Will, let’s strand Jack Sparrow in our house with our brats without any blasted rum'
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,252 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 8/11/2006 - Published: 8/1/2006
Napoleon Goes to Hogwarts by The Alpacas in a Blender reviews
Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro become students at Hogwarts. Need we say any more? Thanks, everyone, for the reviews! We may change the title soon, so watch out.
Napoleon Dynamite - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,846 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 2/11/2006 - Published: 11/5/2005
Ickle Ficlets by PinkAphid reviews
For all you guys who can't be bothered to read long fics... Little stories that make practically no sense, but might be funny.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,071 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/17/2005 - Published: 1/26/2005 - Complete
A Halcyon Sea by Mariner reviews
It was time to face facts, Norrington decided. He was doomed to be forever plagued by attractive women with absolutely no sense of social propriety.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,367 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/13/2005
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dead Men Tell No Parodies reviews
My parody of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,323 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/23 - Published: 4/7
Love and War reviews
Sequel to The Alliance. Picking up right where The Alliance left off, Norrington and Ruby have returned to Port Royal, believing that Beckett has returned to England, and that Jack Sparrow has gone his own way. But just a day after their return, Jack shows up with a warning: Beckett is on his way to Port Royal, and likely wants revenge.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 57,037 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/13/2015 - Published: 8/28/2013 - Complete
Two Evils reviews
Follows Lieutenant Groves, starting with the first time he meets Norrington, and focuses especially on the second and third movies. I've included scenes to sort of "fill in the gaps." This is kind of my look at Groves as a character, his reactions to the events, and his friendship with Norrington. I've taken some liberties with the plots; I wanted a happy ending.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 37,375 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/20/2013 - Published: 2/13/2013 - Lt. Theodore Groves - Complete
The Alliance reviews
Norrington is captured and interrogated, and learns that Governor Swann is in danger. After he is rescued by Jack and Will, they must join forces with Jack's crew to rescue the Governor. In the process, they find out that Cutler Beckett and his pirate allies are responsible for the Governor's kidnapping. Sort of a sequel to Some Sort of Misunderstanding.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 30 - Words: 44,282 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/27/2013 - Published: 10/24/2012 - Complete
On Parody's Tides reviews
My parody of Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 28 - Words: 33,971 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/24/2012 - Published: 1/22/2012
Some Sort of Misunderstanding reviews
Norrington and his crew find shelter in an abandoned village following a battle that has left them shipless. Jack arrives and is willing to assist them on one condition: Jack needs help rescuing Gibbs from the EITC.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 36,835 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/9/2012 - Published: 9/10/2011 - Complete
The Pursuit of Happiness reviews
Sequel to Family Reunion. Norrington is discovering the struggles of raising his teenage niece, when Jack returns, injured, and without the treasure he was sent to find. It has been stolen, and Jack wants help to get it back from the woman who took it.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 43,705 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/12/2011 - Published: 6/6/2011 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, James N. - Complete
State of Mind reviews
Oneshot. Random scene I came up with. Captain Norrington after the first time he loses a man. I don't usually write this sort of thing, so see what you think.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 966 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/23/2011 - James N. - Complete
Family Reunion reviews
Norrington is appointed guardian of his late brother's daughter Laura. Then he finds out that Jack Sparrow's sister was Laura's mother, and that Jack has been made co-guardian. The custody battle is the least of their troubles.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 21,065 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 5/26/2011 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, James N. - Complete
At Parody's End reviews
My parody of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 23,852 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/10/2011 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Complete
Dead Man's Parody reviews
My parody of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 21,065 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/30/2007 - Published: 10/1/2006 - Complete
Parody of the Black Pearl reviews
My parody of Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. Originally published in 2006, revised edition 2011 now up!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 18,820 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/1/2007 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Complete
A Pirate's Life for Me reviews
Jack Sparrow and Commodore Norrington switch bodies.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 15,711 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/25/2007 - Published: 4/17/2006 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, James N. - Complete
The Trouble With Sloths reviews
Sid, the sloth from the movie Ice Age, ends up on the Enterprise as a specimen for study, and wreaks havoc everywhere he goes.
StarTrek: The Original Series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,337 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/17/2006 - Published: 10/8/2005 - Complete
Staff of:
  1. Hilarious Pirate Parodies
    Movies Pirates of the Caribbean