Author has written 2 stories for Pokémon.
Language: English and Afrikaans.
A lot of people have asked and yes, I am a Furry, you have a problem?..I honestly don't care what you think.
16 THINGS TO DO IN WALL MART.
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of MM's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through say, "PICK ME, PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things
Rules men wish women knew.
1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2. It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
· When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
· The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
· After wrecking your boss’ car.
· One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into “The Crying Game”.
3. Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4. Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5. If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional.
8. On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9. When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who is playing.
10. You may be flatulent in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.
11. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.
12. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13. Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
14. Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
16. Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
19. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.
21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
· Yeah, Baby, Push it!
· C’mon, give me one more! Harder!
· Another set and we can hit the showers!
22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing (i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc.) For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26. Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27. The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.
28. There is no reason for guys to watch ice skating or men’s gymnastics. Ever.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up put it down.
2. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.
3. Don’t make us guess.
4. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
5. Sometimes, he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.
6. He’s never thinking about “The Relationship.”
7. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like every other cat.
8. Dogs are better than cats.
9. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
10. Shopping is not everybody’s idea of a good time.
11. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
12. You have enough clothes.
13. You have too many shoes.
14. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to like it.
15. Your brother is an idiot.
16. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.
17. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
18. Share the bathroom
19. Share the closet.
20. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
21. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
22. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like sex in the morning.
23. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
24. Check your oil.
25. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
26. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
27. If you think you’re getting on the heavy side, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
28. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.
29. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.
30. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
31. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?
32. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.
33. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both.
34. Women wearing Wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
All for now.
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