"Me? I'm dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid." - Captain Jack Sparrow
"Yes, but why is the rum gone?!" - Captain Jack Sparrow
Stand witness Time-lord, stand witness humans, your strategies have failed, your weapons are useless and oh the end of the universe has come. - Davros, Doctor Who - Journeys End
"There are things in the Universe billions of years older than either of our races. They are vast, timeless, and if they are aware of us at all, it is as little more than ants and we have as much chance of communicating with them as an ant has with us. We know. We've tried and we've learned that we can either stay out from underfoot or be stepped on. They are a mystery and I am both terrified and reassured to know that there are still wonders in the Universe, that we have not explained everything.”
"At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable."
- Christopher Reeve - the real Superman.
"if there is one thing we should have learned its that our brains have always out-raced our hearts, our science charges ahead and our souls lag behind, lets start anew"
- Lee Adama - New Battlestar Galactica - Series Finale
Only three things are infinite. Death, knowledge, and stupidity. And I’m not so sure about the first two - unknown
The world will look up and shout 'save us'! And I'll whisper 'no'.
The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, "Save us!"
...And I'll whisper, "No."
- Rorschach, Watchmen
Citizens Rejoice Your lord and Master reigns on high, playing Track 3
"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it." -- Terry Pratchett
Absolute power corrupts absolutely but it also kicks absolute ass!- Anon
We must fight, to run away! - Capt. Jack Sparrow.
Excuse me, have you seen a blowfish driving a sportscar? - Gwen Cooper, Torchwood.
"It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living"- Pratchett
"Build a man a fire and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."- Pratchett
"A lie can run its way around the world before the truth has even got its boots on."- Pratchett
"When someone asks you if you're a god, you SAY YES!"
A person is smart. People are stupid, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it-Agent Kay
That is the exploration that awaits you—not mapping stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence-Q
Church: I learned a very valuable lesson in my travels, Tucker. No matter how bad things might seem...
Caboose: They could be worse?
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger
"For every battle honor, a thousand heroes die alone, unsung and unremembered." - Anon
"Endings are heartless.
"There is no gravity, what we are observing is a completely different phenomenon with the exact same properties." ANON
"I put no stock in Religion. By the word 'Religion', I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god." - Kingdom of Heaven
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research, now would it." - Albert Einstein
Humans don't stagnate, they bide their time. Humans don't surrender, they fight. But above all: humans never, ever forget. - ANON
"It is an undeniable… And might I say… Fundamental quality of man, that when faced with extinction… Every alternative is preferable" - Leonard Church RVB
but all I have for you is advice. Remember this: that which does not kill you, only makes you stronger. Or was it more paranoid? I can never remember which - ANON
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Because turtles were fucking cool, especially zergified turtles of doom and destruction