Hi, I'm Ranger Wisper, Ranger 26. I'm pretty good at art as well, and I love writing the adventures of me and my friends. Maddie clearly has potential to be a Ranger, but Crowley thinks that we should stick with tradition. Gilan taught me the ways of a Ranger, and he got me a silver oakleaf. Not many people know that I'm a girl though, simply because I don't talk (I can't) and because I cut my hair short.

I hope you like the stories of me and my friends!! I always try to be neutral and not take sides on an argument, but sometimes I can't help it. Oh, and you should probably know this.

I'm Morgarath's daughter.

This is How you KNOW you're obsessed with Ranger's Apprentice.

1. You can quote almost all of the dialogue.

2. You can hear Wills' voice in your head.

3. You just KNOW Halt's also in your head, telling Wills' voice to shut up.

4. You've memorized "Greybeard Halt". --Heck yeah I have.

5. You want a bow and arrow set.

6. You actually dream about Ranger's Apprentice.

7. You're reading this right now.

8. You sneak around, trying to scare people like you're a ranger. --I've done this so many times it hurts.

9. You want to be a ranger.

10. You read Ranger's Apprentice and now you think being short is SO COOL!!

11. You write fanfiction for Ranger's Apprentice.

12. You think it would be fun to be Wills' apprentice. --Anyone's apprentice really.

13. Now you're sad because you aren't.

14. But you imagine yourself as his apprentice.

15. Now you're grinning like a moron.

16. The front left side of your brain is constantly saying, "Rangers Rangers RANGERS! MUST! READ! RANGER'S! APPRENTICE!!"

17. You'd LURVE to meet John Flanagan.

18. You happen to know that there's a contest to do so. -The more you know! *sings it the way it's done in the commercials* (Wait, is that even in commercials?! Meh.)

19. You're now jumping up and down, fangirl shrieking about meeting Flanagan.

20. You're going to enter the contest.

21. You're sad because the contest is over.

22. You want to kill me for telling you about a contest that's over. -*Gathers army* THIS IS SPARTA!!!! *Charges*

23. You call John Flanagan "Flanny" sometimes. --I called him Johnny Flanny, close enough. -No but I do call him just John (in my head)

24. You'd rather read Ranger's Apprentice than do your homework. -Wouldn't everybody?!

25. You'd rather read Ranger's Apprentice than watch TV. -Haven't watched TV since... about 5 months ago. Probably 7.

26. You always want to read Ranger's Apprentice.

27. You want there to be a Ranger's Apprentice comic book. -I'm a no on this one because I don't want it to spoil my "vision"

28. You'd actually tackle glomp someone if they had a Ranger's Apprentice comic book.

29. You'd cry with joy if you got to have a Ranger's Apprentice comic book.

30. You'd cry in despair if the comic book got damaged in any way.

31. You just KNOW that the Ranger's Apprentice books radiate power.

32. You accidently called your brother "Horace" yesterday. -Not my brother, as I don't have one, but my friend's stepdad. I said "Ok guys, Will's here! Wait...what the heck?! OOOOOOPSSSS"

33. If you had a munchkin cat you'd name him "Will" -Alas, I have no cat as my mom is allergic.

34. You want to warp yourself into the Ranger's Apprentice world so you can replace Alyss. -Ok, not Alyss but Jenny. Because Gilan is flippin awesome. I would so say yes. (Referencing book 12)

35. You're smiling and nodding while you read this.

36. You CANNOT WAIT ANOTHER SECOND for the Ranger's Apprentice movie. -I got so impatient that I'm animating one myself.

37. You want to see the Ranger's Apprentice movie in the theater.

38. You're going to spend the whole movie going fangirl.

39. You're going to have a hard time not fangirl squealing during the film.

40. You know it's the truth.

41. One of the reasons that you can't wait to see the film is so you can go fangirl and scream at your friends about how cute Will is. -Who cares if he's cute, he's awesome!!!!!!!

42. He really is adorable.

43. Your parents want you to shut up about Ranger's Apprentice already.

44. They really really want you to. -My mom said she's gonna ground me from reading RA for a month if I don't shut up about it.

45. Now you're going to post this list in your profile with everything you've actually done or thought in bold letters.

46. You just hit copy. -Yes you did. You did... YES YOU DID. *Does deathglare Halt-style*

47. Don't lie, you know you did.

48. You're thinking about Ranger's Apprentice again. -When am I not..?

49. You even know the names of the background characters. -Most of them!! Also, in Early Years book one Tournament at Gorlan the innkeeper says "What say you Tom?" Bad grammar? Typo? Neither?!

50. Now you're sad because there are SO many other things that can prove you're obsessed with Ranger's Apprentice.

Everything that's bolded here is not true for me. Got this from SabrePlayz's profile. (Thank you if you're reading this!)*

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One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.
So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.'

He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!'

There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!' He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation.I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!

Today was one of those days.I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. 'Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began, 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

You now have two choices, you can : 1) Put this on your profile or 2) Forget you read this and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1

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(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

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A *few* of my questions:

Where does the sky begin?

Wait, that inspired a new question! Where does the sky end?

How does caffeine work?

What color is coffine?

Why do humans (and other animals) need sleep if food gives us energy?

How does DNA work?

How can i make a video game?

How does coding work?

How easy/hard is coding?

What are good digital art techniques?

Is the Amazon Echo machine an artificial intelligence? I asked it and it said ‘All I know is I am here to help.’

How do dreams work?

How does blindness work?

Is there a cure to blindness?

Where will Earth be in a million years?

Will humans ever invent stuff like laser guns (the real ones, the destructive ones), flying cars, etc?

Is there a cure for ebola and zika viruses?

Where do questions even come from?!?!

Where does inspiration come from?

How is evil “made?”

Can animals feel emotions like sad or happy?

If the monkey-human theory is correct, how did we evolve?

What is the best battle tactic ever to be formed?

Are there any flaws, and if so, how were they found?

Has this tactic ever been defeated?

How many wins has this tactic won?

How was music first invented?

Are any other animals capable of conscious thought?

Are any other animals aware of death?

What happens after death anyways?

How do machines in factories make stuff?

How do those machines make everything identical?

How are those machines built?

Will Isis ever be defeated/neutralized?

Will terrorists ever stop?

What about global warming, will that ever stop?

How are the primary colors made into paint and markers if they can’t be made by mixing other colors?

How do plants survive in saltwater (oceans)?

How can fish survive the water pressures of the deep/at the bottom of the sea?!

Why is fire hot?

Can fire be cold?

Copy/Pasted straight form my genius hour page. If you don't know what that is, this is why we have this wondrous thing called "Goggle." *Clears throat* I meant Google.

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Fridays suck. Saturdays however...

Why do Fridays get credit of being awesome? You still have school on them! All your 'Die Monday, Long Live Friday' shirts need to be burned. They SHOULD say 'Die Monday, Long Live Saturday.'

Cause Friday just sucks.

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I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Yep, I'm the only one in my whole family who could read this. Shame on you dumbass if you can't. Jk, you're not a dumbass if you can't read this. Not at all. Seriously.

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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Pasted from Ranger Maestro's profile.

Do you want a dumbass for a president or a crook?! (Trump VS Hilary. I'm voting for me. I'd be much better because I went to school and I've never robbed a bank. No offense if you [somehow] like one or these candidates.)

I don't get involved in politics because they'd find out that I'm not exactly who they think I am... I'm a Faerie!!! Jk. If only...!

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So people want to go to Heaven, but don't want to die? Make up your minds!!!!! Seriously.

I mean, I don't WANT to die, but I accept it if I do.

I can be very wise at times... just not right now. Or tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the next day. Or the next day. I think you get where I'm heading. I WILL be wise in one year however!! Count down starting... NOW!!!

Sarcasm isn't the lowest form of wit... It isn't wit at all. But it makes me laugh, and laughter is the best medicine, so sarcasm is good for me.

They said I couldn't fly, so I bought a plane ticket to the next airport over. Boom.

'jklfanciowfaljfiencjl' Easy for you to say.

I'm not afraid of falling. That part is fun! I'm afraid of what happens when the fall ENDS.

I woke up on the middle side of the bed today. Meaning I didn't get out of bed. Because I was up till 3am last night and all night the night before. True story.

"Oooh, I'm telling!!!" "Is that a threat..?" "..."

When you drink 12 cups of coffee in a row and fall asleep right afterwards, you know you could never be a Ranger because they drink coffee so much.

"Ok, lets look for some fabric at Walmart for your cloak. If they don't have any, we'll go to Everything Ranger's Apprentice!" Ahh, when your dad is awesome and loves RA as much as you do.

"Writer's block is just laziness." -My dad, Ron.

"Lynxes are just so cute! You would that be Lynxi..?"

So, what if everything we touch see hear happens say, 10 minutes BEFORE we see it, like you're reading this right now but ACTUALLY you're reading it 10 minutes before right now your brain is just super slow at processing stuff. So like if I got into a car crash right NOW it was actually 10 minutes before NOW, my brain is just slower than a sloth.

What if every time we thought of a choice, such as should I read this or move on, a new dimension is created. So as you chose to read this, two dimensions were created; one where you didn't read this and one where you DID!! PHILOSIFICKLENESS!!!!!

"They think I'll think they'll do A so they'll do B but they'll think I'll think they're thinking I'm thinking they'll do B so they'll ACTUALLY do A!" -John Flanagan. Yes I have that memorized. Thanks Will!!!

Everyone dies one day, so it's ok to die today. *gives out a huge 'whoop' and jumps off cliff*

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Lives taken,

Ground shakin.

Guns firing,

Mouths lying.

Sin baits,

Devil takes.

Temptation strikes,

Spirits break.

Chaos reigns,

Truth feigned.

Hope falls,

Darkness is all.

A ray of light,

Breaks through the night.

A beam of hope,

Allows to cope.

Angels descend,

To the land.

Devil falls,

Back to Hell.

God wins,

Once again.

Good reigns,

Throughout the land.

The land of God.

Started by WisperRanger26. CopyPaste into your profile if you are a believer. If you don't believe, prepare to spend eternity in Hell. The punishment for not believing is eternity in Hell after all. Constant fire, work, no water, forEVER.

Written by me during church! What do you think..?

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You know you're a writer if:

You are always writing/reading.

You always have a notebook/pencil/pen to jot ideas down with you.

That notebook is beat-up and the cover has fallen off, but you still carry it around.

You have billions of mechanical pencils with no lead in them because you ran out of that size lead.

You have a pencil set for writing only.

Your computer's keys are fading.

You live in your mind.

Everyone thinks you are crazy/mentally insane.

You always have music on. Because everyone knows music inspires you!!

If you tpye so fsta the lettesr egt mixde up!

Congrats if you fit all these categories! I don't because I just got my computer a month ago so the keys are not faded. Yet.

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True story:

I was a black cat for Halloween when I was about 9. We went trick or treating and it was dark. Like seriously. Dark. I got separated and I'm all like, ok, I know my way around town. Lets go home and raid the cupboards!! I get home and there is literally NO ONE there. Only one street lamp was on, and even that one was flickering.

I walk up to my house and someone's there. This is odd, I thought. We never, and I mean NEVER, get visitors. I size him up.

He is tall, probably 3 meters high. He is super skinny. His skin appears to be paste white. He is bald. his skin is stretched tight over the bone. I see all this in less than two seconds. But his eyes, I look at longer.

They're red, and deep. Not deep into it's head, but DEEP. It almost seems like there are layers in them, shifting and uncovering more. I think of the blue stone in RA book 5 or 6. Can't remember which one right now. I shift uncomfortably. It starts gliding towards me, and I see it's not even touching the ground. I back into a tree, my heart beating out the Star-Spangled-Banner, which I was supposed to do a solo in my next concert in a few weeks.

It seems to breathe in, and a mist of some sort goes into it's open mouth. I look down, and it's coming from ME. It breathes in again, and I watch myself go transparent. I can see the ground beneath my feet. I look at my hand and I can see through it.

My family calls for me, yelling my name. I would've answered but I just can't. The thing looks up, and looks furious. Then it speeds up the street, just a black shadow, and is gone. Feeling rushes into me and I fall down.

The next day I wake up, and I feel like something's missing. To this day it's still missing, but I have no clue what. I invented a name for the thing; the Gal'ar. Dunno where it came from, just liked it. The memory is forever burned into my mind, and I can recall it in surprising detail-l whereas when I try to recall what candy I had gotten that same night I can't even say whether or not I had candy.

Whenever my story is in need of a monster, the Gal'ar appears. I made up a few small details for the monster, such as the reason it's eyes seem to have layers is because it eats souls. The bodies of it's victims just fade and everyone forgets them, that they ever existed. It has magic, and is the second most powerful thing in the universe, second only to God.

To this day I stay in my room all day on Halloween, with my door and window locked, constantly praying that the thing doesn't find me. I'm afraid that whenever I make up a new detail for it, the real thing can do it too.

And Halloween will be here soon. In just a week or two.

I'm afraid.

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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

5. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

6. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

7. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

8. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

9. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

10. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

11. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

12. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

13. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

14. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

CopyPasted from rangergilan's profile

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Dear bullies, See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked his friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. See that girl you made fun of for wearing lots of make-up? You bullied her for being ugly without it too.

Re-Post this if you are against bullying. I bet 95% of you won't. Your life would probably not be as harsh as theirs

CopiedPasted from RangerApprentice21's profile.

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I'm that girl

The one that likes books more than boys.

The one who pretends not to be sad, just to make others happy

The one who always wonders what she did wrong

The one who writes to escape

The one who just wants to help

The one that really wants to make a difference

The one that sticks to her values

The one that refuses to believe that this is it

The one that will do anything to make a better tomorrow

The one who won't give in

The one won't give up

-by linguisticsrock, Copy and Paste if you can relate to this.

Also copied from RangerApprentice21's profile

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I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal.

I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face.

I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone.

I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. (Only I've never been asked out. I'm the one doing the asking...)

I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, FairyNinjaPrincess, MyImmortal01, Twilightxfanatic21, Twilightloverforeverandever, HarryArtemis1220, edwardcullenissosexy, all-hail-the-jello, Karren1109, maddythetwilightfreak, Starrynytex, MelissaRM, vampygirl999, nanigirl15, Furorensu-Chan, ILuv Zero and Pocky yum, nats10art, DarkAkatsukiNeko, Kurina the Imiko, ChibiLover123, RangerApprentice21, WisperRanger26

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The perfect boy:

Love books-particularly the books I like.

Be halfway decent at art.

Be kind and caring, but not overly so.

Is NOT an idiot.

Has decent grades.

Isn't afraid to do the right thing.

Likes music similar to my tastes.

Isn't a jerk.

Writes.

Is understanding.

Is a hard worker, and a good/efficient worker.

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Review Pledge

"I promise to review every fanfic I read whether it be fantastic, useless, or anywhere in between. I make this pledge because I know how frustrating it as an author to have hundreds (or thousands) of hits and only a handful of reviews." Copy and paste this onto your profile if you promise to do the same

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Put this on your profile
If you like to laugh!

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Things of pure HILARITY to do in an elevator:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in
there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for
more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

23. Make race car noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congradulate all for being in the same lift as you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you just shup UP!"

26. Walk in with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!", then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring--don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say, "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, then say, "Is that your final answer?"

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask people what floor they want. Whenever they answer, give them a glare and say, "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

33. Ask loudly, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell different people that you can see their aura.

35. When the door closes, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long black cloak with a hood, stare at everyone, and in a deep voice announce: "It is time..."

38. Say "Your Majesty" when anyone gets on

39. Introduce yourself as Lord Voldemort

40. Ask people which floor they want and why, and then announce that you're going to the floor with Olympus on it because you didn't steal any lightening.

41. Hang Ethan Hunt style from the ceiling of the elevator and speak ominously when someone enters "Heloooooooo"

42. Still hanging from the ceiling, drop onto whoever comes in.

43. Try to make up and sing lyrics for the boring elevator music.

44. Try to start a My-Briefcase-is-better-than-yours contest.

From Evll.bUnNeHz's profile

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TOP 5 REASONS WHY INSANIY IS AWSOME:

1. You're never alone. you can make up all the friends you want.
2. It's always easy to find someone to talk to. Inanimate objects are great listeners.
3. You don't need to try at all. People have low expectations of you.
4. You're never homeless. Insane asylums are warm and give you free food.
5. Fun times are easy to find. Pretend to be insane and see how many funny looks people give you on the steet.
6. People are nicer when it's "not your fault, you're just crazy."
7. You can get away with anything just by pleading insanity.
8. Clothes aways fit. Straight jakets are one size fits all." - Reggithetubaman

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WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of nose bleed (Bring a kechup pack for this).

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "this is STUPID!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go to the movies.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how awesome the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Sleep.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who on earth are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake a heart-attack. When everyone starts screaming and callin 911, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress. (How do you do this if you're a girl? I wear jeans an T-Shirts anyway. Do NOT send me a PM about it, kay?

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

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98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile.

If you’re hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile. (Maya, if you're reading this, I swear I'm not. Like seriously, promise.)

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (No, I totally died, and I'm typing this in my tomb. How can I start an apocalypse again??)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

If you should be doing homework right now, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a book character, copy this to your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull, or vise versa, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. (Mine is 'Jester' after the name that people without freechat have to call me on Animal Jam. Ya, it stuck and still sticks.)

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

f you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spelled your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. (Erm, no. The door ran into ME.)

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Novemberscorpion110388, Pinksakurablossom, Angelgirl18647, Winter Gallowsraven, Echizen Ryoma-san, Zaara the black, NegimaFan, Princess Falling Star, Tahza, Grace Raven, Flyingflower666'-'666, .EvIl.bUnNeHz, Wisper Ranger 26,

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name: Snowfirexoxo, FlameRisingSucks101, Swanfeather, xRae_Starkhenx, Sasukez, momoxtoshiro, Princess Falling Star, Grace Raven, Flyingflower666'-'666, .EvIl.bUnNeHz, Wisper Ranger 26,

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought your paper would protect you, you asshole."

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbine students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

*Imma line break*

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Unicorns

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity. Post this on your profile!

*Imma line break*

Actual Product Labels That Make Me Question My Faith in Humanity

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

*Imma line break*

Reasons To Join the Dark Side (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too), we also joined with the rebel side and have cake as well!

2. We have as much slash and yaoi as you could ever need.

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. You get to call people your Underlings, Minions and Peasants! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! BEST reason!

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Things you are NOT allowed to do in Ranger's Apprentice, and what will happen to you if you do. Got this from Halt O'Carrick's profile. Thank you Halt!

I, in turn, got this from Ranger Ithilwen's profile.

1. You are NOT allowed to sing "Greybeard Halt". Halt will make you spend the night in a tree. A PINE tree O.O

2. You are NOT allowed to answer a question with another question. Halt will glare at you and make you feel stupid.

3. You are NOT allowed to say "But I thought..." Halt will say "you're and apprentice. You're not supposed to think" or "If you thought about it, you wouldn't ask"

4. You are NOT allowed to give Tug more than one apple a day. Halt will say "One is quite enough." Tug however, will tend to dissagree.

5. You are NOT allowed to question Halt's skills for ANY reason. Odds are he'll kill you. Painfully.

6. You are NOT allowed to tell anyone that Halt's not really grim all the time. He'll knock you into next week and then kill you.

7. You are NOT allowed to sing "We're off to see the wizard" on your way to visit Malcolm. He'll turn you into a lizard.

8. You are NOT allowed to send your Christmas wishlist to Erak. He'll brain you with a battleaxe. After stealing everything on the list.

9. You are NOT allowed to sing "Santa's comin' to town" when you see Erak coming. He'll brain you with a battleaxe.

10. You are NOT allowed to ask why, exactly, Keren's name is Keren. He'll hypnotize you.

11. You are NOT allowed to sing "Dude looks like a lady" when you see Keren. He'll throw a blue rock at you.

12. You are NOT allowed to hum the James Bond theme while tracking things with Halt. He'll shoot you with an arrow.

13. You are NOT allowed to hum alien music as you near Healers Clearing. Malcolm will kill you.

14. You are NOT allowed to use the "Green Giant" jingle when you see Trobar. He'll steal your puppy.

15. You are NOT allowed to to talk about your wonderful recipe for clam chowder in Skandia. You'll be brained.

16. You are NOT allowed to iceskate on the pond in Skandia. You'll be assigned to the paddles (But hey, at least you'll get to stare at Will)

17. You are NOT allowed to kill Alyss and Evanlyn when they stare at Will with you. Will will NOT marry you (Shame...)

18. You are NOT allowed to sing the munchkin theme song around Will. He'll shoot you.

19. You are NOT allowed to call Halt "Lucky the Leprichon" he'll kill you.

20. You are NOT allowed to ask Will about Crocodiles. He'll think you've gone mad.

21. You are NOT allowed to ask Halt to do an impersonation of Demo Man. He'll shoot you.

22. You are NOT allowed to switch Halt's coffee to decaf. You will die a slow painful death.

23. You are NOT allowed to oil the hinges on the door of Halt's cabin. He'll kill you if the intruders don't.

24. You are NOT allowed to threaten Will. Horace will challenge you to single combat and stick you with his dagger.

25. You are NOT allowed to ride Tug. He will throw you off and Will will shoot you for trying to steal his horse.

26. You are NOT allowed to write out the key to the Couriers Code. Crowley will rant and shoot you so full of arrows you will be remembered in death as 'The Porcupine'.

27. You are NOT allowed to fight a mad axeman with only your two knives. Gilan will throw you off a cliff so that he doesn't have clean up the mess.

*Imma line break*

Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared him...

He won no military battles, yet he conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today

Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in God and Jesus who died on the cross

then copy and paste this in your profile

*Imma line break*

I went to a party, And remembered what you said. You told me not to drink, so I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would, that I didn't drink and drive, though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice, And your advice to me was right. The party finally ended, and the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car, Sure to get home in one piece. I never knew what was coming, Mom, something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, the kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, this girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high. Because he chose to drink and drive, now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Knowing that it ruins lives? And now the pain is cutting me, like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom, Tell daddy to be brave. And when I go to heaven, put ' Daddy's Girl' on my grave.

Someone should have taught him, That it's wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his parents had, I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom I'm getting really scared These are my final moments, and I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom, As I lie here and die. I wish that I could say, I love you and goodbye.

If your against Drinking and Driving, Copy and Paste this to your Profile

Prepare to cry if you read this. I did. Not. Because I just...don't cry. I haven't in...a while.

*Imma line break*

A 15 year old girl holds hands with her 1 year old son. People call her a slut, no one knows she was raped at 13. People call another Guy fat. No one knows he has a serious disease causing him to be overweight . People call an old man ugly. No one knew he had a serious injury to his face while fighting for our country in the war.People call a women bald but they don't know she has cancer Put this in your profile if you are against bullying and stereotyping. I bet 95% of you won't do it.

The injustice!!!!

*Imma line break*

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, 'Let meexplain the problem science has with religion.'

The atheist professor ofphilosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

'You're a Christian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'So you believe in God?

''Absolutely.''Is God good?

''Sure! God's good.

''Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?

''Yes.'

'Are you good or evil?''

The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?'

The student remains silent.

'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?'

The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?'

The student falters. 'From God'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'

'Yes.'

'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our worksdefine who we are, then God is evil.'

Again, the student has no answer.

'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?'

The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?'

There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized.

'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?'

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him.'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not.'

'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'

'Yes.'

'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith.'

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.

'The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'

'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet.

The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458degrees.'

'Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word.'

'In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'

'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought.'

'It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'

'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.'

The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter.

'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable,demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.'

'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable. Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God'slove present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'

The professor sat down.

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C3R741N P30PL3 C4N

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I was walking around in at Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

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FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country ( the country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), NinjasWillRuleTheWorld (Australia),Shadowtheangel (Sweden), Ice Prince Hitsugaya (USA), Gaara of the Desert564 (USA), RebeccaUlquiorraCifer23 (USA), TheCursedOne (Colombia), ArtemisApollo97 (England), DanielledaughterOfDeathanMagic (USA)Cynder2013 (Canada), NarniaRoyalNavy123 (USA), RangerIthilwen (Singapore), Wisper Ranger 26 (USA),

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93 percent of Americanteenswould have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot,bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight, freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, MyNameIsCAB, Shatchi, Gabby510, twilightobsessedOECD, Aceraptor123, Person95,therealmax, FaXnEsSisADDICTION(kelsey), LE Trex, ImmaBeatYouWithaCrowbar, Just A million Rain Drops, Funnygina, RainonSaturn, Cynder2013, NarniaRoyalNavy123, RangerIthilwen, Wisper Ranger 26,

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96 out of 100 teenage girls would have a heart attack if they saw Edward Cullen on the edge of a tall building about to jump. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're one of the 4 who would yell, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and kick him off yourself.

96% of teenage girls would sob if Justin Beiber was about to jump off a building. Post this on your profile if you're the 4% who'd be at the bottom, eating popcorn and chanting "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!"

99% of the teenage female population would want to be turned into a vampire. 97% would do so in order to marry their sparkly Edward Cullen. 2% who would become a vampire in order to kick his sparkly butt. Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're part of the 1% who doesn't need to become a vampire to kick Edward Cullen's sparkly butt.

96% of teenage girls spend their time gossiping about boys. Copy and paste this onto your profile if your part of that 4% gossiping about book characters.

If you've ever called a book extremely mean, and kept reading the book, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever wanted to punch someone in the face, but that person did not exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever screamed at a character (in a book, movie, or show) not to do something, then they went ahead and did that thing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

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Ranger's Apprentice Pledge:

I promise to remember Will,

when Life chooses an odd path for me.

I promise to remember Halt,

when my brother says he hates me.

I promise to remember Alyss,

when the flames of Life seem to consume me.

I promise to remember Gilan,

when my one true love says no.

I promise to remember Crowley,

when I have to take charge.

I promise to remember Pauline,

when I have to make a deal.

I promise to remember Morgarath,

when I feel jealous of someone else.

I promise to remember Erak,

when my country goes to war.

I promise to remember Selethen, (did I spell that right?)

when the summer's heat beats upon my face.

I promise to remember Duncan,

when my little girl grows up.

I promise to remember Maddie,

when the whole world thinks you can't.

I promise to remember Horace,

when someone needs a heart so pure.

I promise to remember Evanlyn/Cassandra,

when my friend needs me most.

I promise to remember Jenny,

when I give up the one I love for what I love to do.

I promise to think of Ranger's Apprentice,

whenever someone needs me.

Hope you enjoy, copy and paste to your profile if you are a Ranger's Apprentice nerd like me! Add your name to the list, so I can know I'm not the only one. Wisper Ranger 26,

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Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!!

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

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This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

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1.YOUR REAL NAME: No. Just no

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name with izzle): Jesizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Dull-GreenCloud Leopard

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Kay Camebridge

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Miljesie

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Silver Water

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maidenname, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Elaudma

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Sunny

9. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Kay

10. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (something bad, favorite fruit) Death Strawberry

11. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (third favorite color, pirate accessory) Sky-Blue Cutlass

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I believe in Jesus Christ the Lord as my Saviour and redeemer, and could not live without him in my life. If you do too, and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name to the list. Kakashis-First-Kiss, jedigal125, iloveJacobandJasper, Vampirewithasecret, Lacey-The-Invisible-Ninja, James018, AdorableElephant, MelRose520, I am an Anonymous Person, WingedPurpleBookWorm4Life, FluteFishySmart, Pirate-Spy-Demigod-Wizard, Sweetpanda12, SamCarter121314, Gigigue, Epic Elven Warrior Princess, TimeyWimeyGirl, OneSizeFitsAll, ThurinRanger, Wisper Ranger 26,

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7 Ways to get over Fictional Characters:

You don't.
You won't.
You can't.
Don't even try.
You really won't.
You just can't.
It's impossible.

* REALLY, WHY BOTHER? *

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Fanfiction is for people who have a pen and know how to use it.

Fanfiction is for people who want to be in that story themselves.
Fanfiction is for people who have no other way to express the ideas in their heads.
Fanfiction is for people who daydream and constantly imagine the impossible.
Fanfiction is for people who've ever compared their classmates to characters from books.
Fanfiction is for those of us who aren't accepted in the real world.
Fanfiction is for people who have been called at least one of the following- Weirdo, Loner, Nerd, Geek, Shy, Silent, Crazy, Insane, Odd, or Different (I've been called most of those).
Fanfiction is for girls that fall in love with non existent guys. (Because they're the best kind...think: GLORFINDEL)
Fanfiction is for girls who don't need guys to complete them.
Fanfiction is for people talk to themselves... a lot.
Fanfiction is for people who laugh at jokes that no one else gets.
Fanfiction is for people who get funny looks for reading in class.
Fanfiction is for people who always get asked to read out their stories in English Class.
Fanfiction is for people who say long words that other people don't normally understand.
Fanfiction is for people who aren't afraid to sit alone and read at lunch.

Fanfiction is for elves and wizards trapped in human bodies.
Fanfiction is for people whose favorite characters always die.

Fanfiction is for people who ditched reality and went for something different.
Fanfiction is for people who hang onto dreams.

Fanfiction is for people who are different, but don't care.

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Survey time!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

Lockwood and Co.: "by now."

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

A wall two inches from me.

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Goosebumbs because it was on at my babysitters. I was laughing my butt off!!

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

8pm

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

8:38pm

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My music: Current song: Defying Gravity from Wicked.

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

I was going into the house about two hours ago. What? Ohh, actually doing something? About three hours ago when I climbed a tree and ate an apple.

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

ThurinRanger's profile.

9. What are you wearing?

Over-size Cubs shirt (go Cubs, gooo!), navy blue sweats, dull green sweatshirt, ring made from a nickle, dragon necklace.

10. Did you dream last night?

Yes, I was outside at my grandparent's house in the woods (they have 11 acres of woods) and my dad got bitten by a snake. Sometime on the way back to the house he turned into Halt from Ranger's Apprentice and that's all I remember. Oh, and I asked if he was ok and he said it was nothing when he first got bit.

11. When did you last laugh?

Ummmm, about a minute ago when I was reading ThurinRanger's profile.

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

Wooden and covered (and I mean COVERED) with sticky notes containing passwords, usernames, notes, and more. Oh look, there's a Snicker bar from two Halloweens ago! Mmmm, tasty. (True story, only it was about an hour ago.)

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Special thanks to TimeyWimeyGirl. :D

I wish to see Aslan shake his mane,

To help destroy Isildur's Bane,

To soar high upon a dragon's back,

To sail the seven seas with Captain Jack,

To take lessons with Professor Dumbledore,

To fight in battles until evil's no more.

All this I wish to do and see,

If I could just escape reality.

-Maethorelen

Post this on your profile if you want to escape reality!

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Have you ever wondered:

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin...

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

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Also, another AWESOMELY LONG profile is Ranger Ithilwen! I highly recommend it. Truly. I found it, then my computer crashed and I've been looking for about...2 or 3 weeks for it and I found it just now, 11/11/16 at 7:6pm. Trust me, it's funny.

If you read my whole profile page you are NERD just like ME!! YAY!! I'm not the only one!!