Author has written 30 stories for Avengers, Shadowhunters, Sherlock, Supernatural, Once Upon a Time, Greek Mythology, Clash of the Titans, 2010, Hercules, Iliad, Norse Mythology, Mythology, Hannibal, Song of Achilles, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and Thor.
I am Nyx, of Fictionheim, and I am burdened with glorious purpose
I, Nyx Rayne, pledge myself to fictional books, movies and TV shows. I turn my back on the company of people, accept eternal nerd-hood and join the fandoms.
Greetings from down below! So, I’m Nyx, and this is probably the weirdest, most random profile you’ll ever read, no kidding.
This is my profile. It's twelve pages north of desolate and a few clicks away from driving you completely insane. It's located squarely in the folds of crushing feels.
Fanfiction. In a word, chaotic. I've been writing for more than half of my life and yet I remain fixated with this rabbit hole of crazy. But it's not so bad, I have shipping, reading and a pleasant array of fanfics. The only problems are the pests. You see, while most people have family drama or bad school grades, we have... writer's block.
Most people would stop obsessing over fictional characters. Not us. We're fangirls/fanboys. We've got stubbornness issues. My username's SarcasticFangirlFromDownBelow. Great name, I know, but it's not the worst. Us nerds believe that a long, unintelligible username will scare off flames and plagiarists. Like our geeky writer demeanour wouldn't do that.
The main fandom: that's Superwholock, Chief of Tumblr. They say it's the first and strongest of the multi-fandoms. Do I believe it? Yes I do.
The one that revolutionised views on magical arts is Harry Potter. I've been engrossed in it ever since I was young. Well, younger. Oh and that's Percy Jackson, Marvel, Hannibal, Shadowhunters and Disney. Their writers get so much more reviews than me.
One day I'll get my name out there on the charts. Because writing a fanfiction is everything around here. A fluff fanfic is sure to at least get me noticed. Crack fanfics are entertaining, writing one of those will definitely get me some followers. Hurt/comfort? Emotional, exciting; double spectrum, twice the amount of reviews. And then there's the multi-chapter fanfictions, only the best authors go after those. They have this nasty habit of being put on hiatus or getting themselves discontinued. But the ultimate prize is the story a bare few have ever tried. We call it the...
TRILOGY SERIAL! GET DOWN!
This thing never updates on schedule, never ends chapters without cliffhangers and never fails to torture your favourite characters. No one has ever written a trilogy serial on Greek Mythology, and that's why I'm gonna be the first...
Okay *ahem* with that weirdness aside, time for some info:
- I'm gay as hell.
Full Name: Nyx Rayne
Pen Name: SarcasticFangirlFromDownBelow (previously known as Lucifer'sFangirlFromDownBelow
Fandom(s): Too many to name. Basically I'm a fan of pretty much everything.
Friends VS Best Friends
Friends: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
Friends: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
Friends: Will help you up when you fall
Friends: Will help you find your prince.
Friends: Will hold you when you’re crying.
Friends: Will offer you a drink.
Friends: Will call the police.
Friends: Will bail you out of jail.
Friends: Never ask for any food or drink.
Friends: Call your parents by Mr. or Mrs.
Friends: Ask you to write down your number.
Friends: Only know a few things about you.
Friends: Will leave you behind if thats what the crowd is doing.
Friends: Will knock on your front door.
Friends: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
Friends: Will take your drink from you when they think you’ve had enough.
Friends: Will comfort you when you’ve argued with your boyfriend.
Friends: Will be embarrassed when you act weirdly or do something stupid.
Friends: Are shy around your boyfriend.
Friends: Act polite around your boyfriend.
Friends: Will tell you they understand when you are crying.
Friends: Wait to call you at a reasonable hour.
Friends: Will not let you do stupid things.
Friends: Will help you buy a pregnancy test.
Friends: Will buy you lunch.
Friends: Will not do anything to embarrass you in front of your crush.
Friends: Will read and ignore this.
Friends: Will help you hide from the cops.
Friends: Will comfort you when your house sets on fire.
Friends: Will go with you to a Comic Con.
Friends: Are for a while.
If you have ever read Fanfiction for at least three hours straight then wondered how on earth it got so dark outside then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you like reading Fanfiction more then you like reading books then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you think that life without computers and Fanfiction is meaningless then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you know a person that you would like to be run over by a bus then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing Fanfiction then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever wished you could talk to animals then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you fan girl whenever you see Loki and/or Tom Hiddleston then copy and paste this into your profile!
If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people then copy and paste this into your profile!
If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and all the boring people in the world then copy and paste this into your profile!
Admitting you are weird means you are normal, saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and you like it then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you love Loki and think he should have at least ten movies all to himself then copy and paste this into your profile!
98% of teens can walk without crashing into walls, if you’re like me and somehow always end up in the 2% that can’t then copy and paste this into your profile!
My ceiling is white. I like Loki. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two mooses meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Chocolate tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it then copy this into your profile!
Weird is good, normal is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it then copy this onto your profile!Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar then copy this into your profile!
If you have a secret that nobody knows then copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you relate everything to the Avengers (particularly Loki) then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've ever randomly fallen out of your chair then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you are obsessed with Fanfiction then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have your own little world then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word and you do at random moments then copy and paste this in your profile!
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy and paste this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If you’ve ever done the evil laugh then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever pushed a door that said pull or vice versa then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever run into a tree, wall, door or any other surface then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have ever wanted to just throw a brick at someone then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you’re hyper, like being hyper and are hyper all the time then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you’ve ever tripped or choked on air then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you screamed like a little girl when you saw Tom Hiddleston performing at Comic Con then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you cried for hours on end each time Loki died then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you were ever about to hug a really hot person then crashed into the mirror then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you’ve ever screamed at a book or the TV then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you’ve ever wondered what you’re like in another dimension then copy and paste this into your profile!
If you hear the voices of your favorite characters in your head and have conversations with them then copy and paste this into your profile!
Quotes That I like:
Heaven doesn’t want me and Hades is afraid I’ll take over.
If you don't think I'm a princess then you're 100% right, I'm the damn queen.
Don’t knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.
You say ‘crazy’ like it’s a bad thing.
Join the dark side. We have Loki!
Excuse me … have you seen my sanity? I think I’ve lost it.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall of a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Sanity and maturity are overrated.
I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
When life gives you lemons throw them at people you hate.
I’m not clumsy, the floor just hates me and the walls and chairs are bullies.
WARNING: DO NOT walk in my footsteps … I tend to walk into walls and off the occasional cliff.
I’m not afraid of Death; what’s it gonna do, kill me?
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult journey awaits me. Wish me luck my friends, for I may not return alive.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
I know how you feel, I just don’t care.
I’m sorry but I don’t wake up every morning to impress you.
Hating you makes me feel warm inside.
It’s okay with me if you want to drop dead.
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friend’s head.
I smile because I don’t know what the hell is going on.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I’m not arguing with you, I’m simply explaining why I’m right.
I didn’t say you were stupid … but I did think it.
I'm sorry I called you stupid. I honestly thought you knew!
I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you
Never argue with an idiot, they’ll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
I have an extensive experience in dealing with idiots and I speak fluent sarcasm.
I’d tell you to go to hell , but I live there and I really don’t want to see you every day.
Normal people scare me … but not as much as I scare them.
There are two types of fangirling: “WHY CAN’T I MARRY HIM?!” and “WHY CAN’T THEY MARRY EACH OTHER?!”
I’m not a psychopath, I’m a high functioning fangirl, do your research
Me: I like this movie
Even if the voices aren’t real they have some really good ideas.
I’m friends with the monster under my bed and I get along with the voices inside my head.
If Loki is the God of Mischief, then I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.
When in doubt push random buttons!
Don’t ever attempt a staring contest with the wall, it cheats a lot.
Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.
You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.
To put it nicely, I hope you burst into flames.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, it’s just that yours is stupid.
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
Some people are like Slinkies. They’re really good for nothing, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
He who stands on a windowsill to see how far out he can lean without falling is a moron.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
Why be difficult when with just a little bit of effort you can be impossible?
Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED! Apparently you told Santa that you had been good this year, he died laughing.
Well the voices and I took a vote. It’s unanimous; you suck.
Love your enemies, it gets them really confused.
I like waving at random strangers because I know for the rest of the day they’ll be wondering who the hell I was!
Flying is simple, you throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Some say the glass is half full, others say the glass is half empty, I say, “Are you gonna drink that?”
The Wi-fi went down for ten minutes so I had to spend time with my family, they seem like nice people.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!
Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
It’s alright to make a mistake, I make them at least ten times, you know, just to be sure.
In order to lose your mind you need to have one in the first place.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Chaos, panic and death, my work here is done.
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
When boys are jealous it’s kind of cute, when girls are jealous World War III is beginning.
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good, luckily this isn’t difficult.
Men came before women because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
I’m not afraid of being kidnapped. They’ll bring me back after 1 hour.
The best thing in life is doing something that is thought impossible in front of your arch enemy.
God made man and then he said, “I can do better than that.” and made women.
Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day, set a man on fire and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
There’s three way to do things: the right way, the wrong way and my way; which is wrong too, but faster!
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something shiny.
Of course I’m out of my mind it’s dark and scary in there!
I am beautiful, but I am beautiful in the way a forest fire is beautiful. It is something not to be tampered with but admired from a distance.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree, that makes it a plant therefore chocolate is salad.
The chains on my mood swing just snapped. Run.
You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because you’re all the same.
If people could hear what I was thinking they would back up slowly then run away as fast as they could.
Labels are for cans and in case you haven't noticed I'm not a can so don't label me!
Stress: A condition brought on by over-riding the body's natural desire to choke the living daylights out of a person who desperately deserves it.
I had a friend once but then the rope broke and he got away.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
One day I will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Be insane... because normal girls never made history.
There is no "I" in "team" but there is definitely a "me".
I ran with scissors and lived!
Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Two wrongs don't make a right... but three might.
If all else fails then destroy all evidence that you tried.
A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.
Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesomeness.
You say I’m not cool. Cool is just another word for cold. If I’m not cold then I’m hot. I know I’m hot, thank you for embracing it!
I can’t help but notice that ‘awesome’ ends with ‘me’ and ‘ugly’ starts with ‘u’.
When life gives you lemons, throw them at people you hate.
You know humans have a very annoying habit. It’s breathing.
I don’t hate you but lets put it this way if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water I would drink the water.
I love everybody, some people I love to be around, some people I love to avoid and others I would love to throw off a cliff.
There are some people in this world that are alive simply because it’s illegal to kill them.
Fanfiction makes the world go round.
There is a time and a place for everything, it’s called Fanfiction.
I have fallen and I choose not to get up.
It’s ironic really, the man who hates the world is most loved by it.
First time is an accident, second time is an experiment and third time is an addiction.
Mum: For goodness sake can you spend one hour of the day not thinking about Loki?!
Me: I start to think what my life would have been like without him, but when I start to picture it I nearly collapse from the pain.
Keep Calm? Ha! I’m a fangirl, I don’t do calm!
Warning: trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.
Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.
Life is a race between software companies making bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe making bigger and better idiots. So far the universe is winning.
A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."
I'm not so good with advice. But may I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Whoever said words don't hurt has obviously never had a dictionary thrown at their face.
Hell hath no fury like that of a scorned woman. I'll make sure of it.
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend your arm and whack them upside the head.
I get plenty of exercise; jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
I didn’t escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!
Drive like you stole it!
Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.
You're a great friend, but if zombies start chasing us, I'm tripping you.
Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid
I did not hit you, I simply high fived your face.
What doesn't kill me had better run pretty damn fast!
I know who I am, your approval really isn't needed.
A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Some people are like clouds, when they disappear it's a beautiful day.
Lets get one thing straight here, I'm not.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
The more you weigh the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.
My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where even I don't know if I'm kidding or not.
I'm allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.
I'm actually not funny, I'm just mean but people think I'm joking.
Lazy rule: if you can't reach it then you don't need it.
Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge.
I wish common sense was more common.
Don't give up on your dreams, keep sleeping.
Feed your own ego, I'm busy.
Been there, regretted that.
I came. I saw. I made it awkward.
I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
People are weird. I don't like them.
"I didn't fall! I was just testing gravity! ...It still works."
I reject your reality and substitute it with my own.
When life gives you lemons make pomegranate juice, sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it!
When life gives you Thor, throw him back and demand Loki.
Out of my mind. Be back in five minutes.
I do visit reality once in a while. Want to see my tourist visa?
There is a fine line between genus and insanity. I have erased this line.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take the chance?
I haven't lost my marbles! They're under my bed somewhere...
I'm not crazy! My reality is just different than yours!
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
They say guns don't kill people. People kill people. Well this is true but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled "BANG" I don't think you'd kill too many people.
IMPORTANT THINGS MY DAD TAUGHT ME:
1) My dad taught me to appreciate a job well done - "If you're going to kill each other then do it outside! Your bedroom has just been cleaned!"
The loneliest people are the kindest, the saddest people smile the brightest and the most damaged people are the wisest.
The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets, the brightest eyes have cried the most tears and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.
Those who are heartless once cared too much.
Scars on my soul, scars on my skin, some on the outside, some are within, they all have a story that goes unwritten, some you can see but most are well hidden.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not so sure about the universe.
Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack, for I am their alpha and they come to me whenever I call.
I’d rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I’m not.
I would rather rule in hell than serve in heaven.
If I cannot move heaven then I will raise hell.
We have fought the darkness so long that we have fallen in love with the shadows.
I am Nyx, born of darkness and fire, and I will bow to no one.
My eyes are black for a reason, it’s where my demons hide.
The shadows betray you because they serve me.
There’s a special place reserved for me in hell, it’s called the throne.
Normal people have no idea how beautiful the darkness is.
Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night.
Step into the darkness, say goodbye to the light, we live in an eternity where every day is night.
The Underworld is empty, all the demons are in me.
I’m friends with the monster under my bed and I get along with the voices inside of my head.
Day of darkness, that day of burning, all the world to ashes turning.
Every villain is a hero in their own mind.
Every time I close my eyes I am in a dark paradise.
You can take me out of the fire and darkness, but you can't take the fire and darkness out of me.
And soon the dark will fall on me and death will set me free.
The scariest monster is the one inside my soul.
Insanity is like gravity. All you need is one small push.
We are all searching for someone whose demons play well with ours.
When I was born the devil said, "Damn, now I have competition."
I don't fight my inner demons. I side with them.
All lives end, all hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage.
Alone is what I have. Alone is what protects me.
True love cannot die.
Every fairytale needs a good, old-fashioned villain.
In a world of locked rooms the man with the key is king. And honey you should see me in a crown.
You want me to shake hands with you in hell? I shall not disappoint you.
Aren't ordinary people adorable?
Falling is just like flying, except there's a more ... permanent destination.
I will burn you. I will burn the heart out of you.
Nothing can happen more beautiful then death.
The goal of all life is death.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist.
The angels may have chosen you, but the devil chose me.
Heroes don't exist and if they did I wouldn't be one.
Some days even the devil sits back and admires my work.
The devil on my shoulder tells me he's proud of me.
I have an angel's face, the devil's grin and broken wings.
You can't keep dancing with the devil and wondering why you're still in hell.
When it all goes up in flames, I'll be the one that's laughing.
Destroying things is much easier than making them.
There is a hell, believe me, I've seen it.
I'm broken and twisted and you can't fix it.
You can't break me, I'm already broken.
Trust gets you killed, love gets you hurt and being real gets you hated.
The darkness is beautiful and into it I fall.
Chaos is an angel that fell in love with a demon.
I put the fun in funeral, I put the hot in psychotic, I put the laughter in slaughter, I put the sass in assassin, I put the cute in execute.
Darkness is my playground and hell is my home.
One of my biggest fears is that eventually you'll see me the way I see myself.
Never trust a hug, it's just another way to hide your face.
She paints a lovely picture but there's a shocking twist, the paintbrush is a razor and the canvas is her wrist.
And in her head grew a list of all the things she'd done wrong, all the names she'd been called and all the mistakes she'd made. Slowly these were the things she became.
Evil queens are the princesses that were never saved.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh like a maniac when someone asks you what you are doing. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Shadowhunters. Crazy is when you write 'Loki is hot' on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you run into a pole and say as your excuse you were daydreaming about your fictional boyfriend: Jim Moriarty. Crazy is screaming every time you hear the name Thor because you think Loki is 100 times better. HAHA! -laughs at Thor fangirls- that’s crazy too. Crazy is when you're not paying attention when the teacher is rambling and you think of something funny from the other day that you don't realize is funny until that moment and you burst into hysterical laughter and the entire class turns around and stares at you and you look the other way and pretend you don't notice. Crazy is when you scream for no reason or sing nursery rhymes. Crazy is when you hear the voices of Magnus and Loki and Moriarty in your head and you have conversations with them. Crazy is when stare at the ceiling for three hours thinking of what to put in the next chapter of your Fanfiction and then forget what movie it's based on. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
Favorite Loki Quotes:
I am Loki of Asgard and I am burdened with glorious purpose.
I never wanted the throne, I only ever wanted to be your equal.
You were made to be ruled, in the end you will always kneel.
I am not your brother, I never was.
Is it madness, IS IT?
There are no men like me.
I have an army.
So I am nothing more than a stolen relic? Locked up here until you might have use for me.
I do what I want.
An ant has no quarrel with a boot.
It was just a bit of fun really.
This is my bargain you mewling quim!
If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now.
Hitting does not solve everything.
Are you ever NOT going to fall for that?
(Scared of a little lightning?) I'm not overly fond of what follows.
You lied to me... I'm impressed.
I like her.
Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity.
I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night.
Trust my rage.
Freedom is life's great lie.
If it were easy, everyone would do it.
Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather.
You must be truly desperate to come to me for help.
You look like you're in desperate need of leadership.
I have been falling... for 30 minutes!
YES! That's what it feels like! ...I'm just a big fan of the sport,
It's not that I don't love our little talks, it's just... I don't love them.
This is so unlike you, brother. So... clandestine. Are you sure you wouldn't rather just punch your way out?
Your saviour has arrived!
The Alphabet According to Me:
B. Books and Bromance
D. Demigods and Demons
G. Greek Mythology
H. Harry Potter
I. I Ship It!
J. Jim Moriarty
K. Keep Calm and Ship Malec!
M. Malec, Magnus and Marvel
N. Never Stop Reading!
O. Once Upon A Time
P. Percy Jackson
R. Rise of the Guardians
S. Supernatural, Shadowhunters and Sherlock
T. Tesseract and Too Many Feels!
V. Very Hot Characters!
W. Without Fanfiction Life is Meaningless!
X. X Life = No Fanfiction
Y. Y Is There No Loki Movie?
Z. Ze End!
Man: Have I seen you somewhere before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Things To Do In An Elevator:
1. Crack open a briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2. Stand motionless and silent in a corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When you arrive at your floor grunt and strain to yank the door open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and tell him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow or bark occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while then announce in horror “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.
7. Say “DING!” at each floor.
8. Say “I wonder what these do?” and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises whenever someone presses a button.
10. Announce in a demonic voice “I require a more suitable host body.”
11. Draw a square around yourself with chalk and tell the other passengers that it is your “personal bubble.”
12. As you are coming to the end of the journey get emotional and hug everyone telling them that you’ll never forget them.
13. When there’s only you and one other passenger on the elevator tap them on the shoulder and then pretend that it wasn’t you.
14. Hold the doors open saying that you’re waiting for a friend, after a while close the doors and say “Hey Greg, how’s your day been?”
15. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up then scream “That’s mine!”
16. Swat at flies that don’t exist.
17. Bring a camera and take pictures of all the other passengers.
18. Call out “Group Hug!” then enforce it.
19. Congratulate everyone for being on the same lift as you.
20. Make car noises whenever someone enters or leaves.
21. Grimace painfully while holding you head and loudly whisper “Shut up! All of you just shut up!”
22. While the doors are open hurriedly whisper “Quick hide it!” then whistle innocently.
23. Let your cell phone ring without answering it.
24. Walk into the lift and say “This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah those were the days.”
25. Tell people you can see their aura.
27. Ask people “Did you feel that?”
28. When the doors close tell the other passengers “It’s okay, they open up again.”
29. Dress all in black and announce in a deep voice “It is time...”
Roses are red
Roses are red
Roses are red
I am bad
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em
All that is gold does not glitter
Some say the world will end in fire
It's so much easier to say you're antisocial
Just because I'm quiet doesn't mean I don't have a lot to say
I'm insecure but I'm strong
The Percy Jackson Pledge:
I promise to remember Percy whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Rick Riordan
NORMAL PEOPLE rely on the weatherman for the weather forecast
NORMAL PEOPLE say "OMG!"
NORMAL PEOPLE go to a psychiatrist to talk about their feelings
NORMAL PEOPLE say "Shut up or I'll tell on you!"
NORMAL PEOPLE think that PJO fans are stupid
NORMAL PEOPLE when being chased yell "HELP ME SOMEBODY!"
NORMAL PEOPLE get scared during thunderstorms
NORMAL PEOPLE would pinky promise
NORMAL PEOPLE don't have this on their profile
The 27 commandments of Fanfiction:
1. Thou shalt not post a fic until it has been checked for grammar and spelling errors. The fanfiction gods hath given you a spell checker on the computer for good reason. Use it.
2.Thou shalt not post a chapter of less than 100 words (unless it is a drabble) for this displeases the masses.
3.Thou shalt not put author's notes in the middle of the story.
4.Thou shalt NEVER use text-speak in a fic, unless the characters are actually texting.
5.Thou shalt keep to one tense, and only one, throughout the story. Do not switch randomly.
6. Apply the above number 5 to POVs as well.
7. Thou shalt not get offended when someone makes fun of the crack pairing featured in your fanfiction. It probably is rather hilarious.
8.Thou shalt not use ; ) or >:( in a fanfiction to show the emotion exhibited by a character.
9.Thou shall try-eth to keep characters in character!
10.Thou shall not treat every criticism as a flame.
11.The author's note is not a spot for your personal drama, and thou shalt not make it so.
12.Thou shalt not put any form of the phrase "first fic" in thy summary.
13. Thy created characters must not have names that exceed five syllables in length. Nor shall thy name have more than five words in length.
14. Thou shall not insert thyself into the story line as thyself or as a character- yes we know that you are in love with yourself and are very narcissistic, we just don’t want to read about how you end up with the main character.
15. If thou art writing a story that does not follow the original story line then point it out in the beginning.
16.Thou shall not make a person randomly smart or powerful unless stating a reason for the change (a good reason).
17.Thou shalt show and not tell.
18.Thou shalt not EVER use the phrase "I suck at summaries" in-est thine summary. This annoys thine readers.
19.Thou shalt not write the same way thou speak-est, writing is an art.
20.Thou shalt ALWAYS spell the word "okay" correctly. Using the letter "K" is an unacceptable compromise.
21. Thou shalt only use clichés when thou a) art writing a parody or b) find a new and interesting twist to make such clichés bearable to thine reader.
22. Thou shalt always separate dialogue from two separate speakers in two separate paragraphs. Otherwise thine readers shalt be confuse-ed.
23. Thou shalt not EVER make a chapter all one paragraph. THIS INFURIATES BOTH THINE READER AND THE FANFICTION GODS. They have given thee an ENTER key with good reason.
24. Thou shalt not write with thy caps lock on, it displeases the masses and causes thy readers to lose their vision and make angels weep.
25. Thou shalt know how to spell the character's names correctly before you writeth the fic. Misspelling the name of the main characters makes readers angry and distracts from the story.
26. Thou shalt not say in thine summary "summary inside". This shows lack of creativeness and infuriates the masses. The only exception is when a summary is cut short and a continuation of it lies inside.
27. Thou shall use paragraphs and space the story so it is not terrifyingly daunting to thine readers.
If The Avengers Had Theme Songs:
Loki – Flawed Design by Stabilo
If Shadowhunters Had Theme Songs:
Magnus Bane – A Thousand Years by Cristina Perri
If Harry Potter Characters Had Theme Songs:
Draco Malfoy - Perfect by Simple Plan
If Sherlock Characters Had Theme Songs:
Sherlock Holmes - Oh No by Marina and the Diamonds
If Greek Gods Had Theme Songs:
Hades - Demons by Imagine Dragons
If my OTPs Had Theme Songs:
Malec (Magnus/Alec) - Thousand Years by Christina Perri
If Supernatural Characters Had Theme Songs:
Sam Winchester - Highway to Hell by AC/DC
If Greek Mythological Characters Had Theme Songs:
Achilles - Centuries by Fall Out Boy
For people that hate stereotypes: if you think people should just shut up and stop then copy and paste this on your profile (BOLD the ones you are)
I'm SKINNY so I MUST be anorexic
THINGS I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DO AT HOGWARTS:
I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" whenever I'm sent to the Headmaster's office
Seamus Finnigan is not "after me lucky charms"
House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
Nor are they smurfs and they shall not be painted to look as such
I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore not "Gandalf”
A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly
I will not go into the forbidden forest looking for Charlie the Unicorn
Despite my personal beliefs Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms
I will not test my Potions assignments by spiking Snape's drink with them, especially not all of them at once
I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death
I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord
When a class mate falls asleep I shall not take advantage of this fact and draw a Dark Mark on his/her arm
Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka
I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort
Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again
Yes, the Great Hall is extremely large, but Quidditch is an outside sport
The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate, especially in reference to Professor Umbridge
Professor Lupin does not know anyone by the name of Jacob Black (even though he was friends with someone named Sirius Black)
I will not yell "Hey look! It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade
I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas, or Wen Hair Care
Nor will I give him soap and conditioner for his birthday
I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snape’s private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, it is disturbing
"Oo ee, oo ah ah, ting tang, walla walla bing bang" is not an actual spell
Gryffindor's sword is not to be used to patrol the hallways
Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom
Making a slinky go from the top of the astronomy tower to the ground level is not an appropriate pastime, especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky," especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky” until the slinky hits the bottom, especially while singing “everyone loves a slinky” until the slinky hits the bottom and starting the whole process over again whenever the slinky gets stuck, apparently not everyone loves a slinky
I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt
Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time
First years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow
I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library
Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists
I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween
I will not run through the halls shouting “Snape kills Dumbledore!”
I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves
Centaurs do not give free rides to kids and I should stop telling the first years otherwise
"42" is not the answer to every O.W.L or N.E.W.T exam paper, neither is "Yo Mamma"
Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June
Singing “The Mysterious Ticking Noise” in the library is rude and annoying, especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me, especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me and form a large circle around Professor Snape, especially if I get everyone in Gryffindor to sing with me and form a large circle around Professor Snape and refuse to let him out of the circle until he finds the pipe bomb
The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable"
Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research
I will not shove professor Snape into a wall repeatedly while shouting “Bother” over and over again, nor will I enchant the Whomping Willow to do so.
Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'
Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention
Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts
If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer
I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard
I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice, nor will I replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro, it was not an "honest mistake"
I will not shout “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” every time I pass Dumbledore in a corridor
Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
I am not the wicked witch of the west, I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either, and I will not melt if water is poured over me, neither will Professor Umbridge
"To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice
Shouting “Abracadabra” can be misheard and start a panic
Dragons are not permitted inside the castle, even if you are having trouble starting a fire in the common room fireplace
I will not loudly tell Hermione that “THE MARAUDER’S MAP ISN’T SUPPOSED TO BE USED FOR STALKING LOCKHART!” in front of a large group of Slytherins, even if she is stalking Lockhart
I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing
I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive
Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit
I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day
I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points.
1) Being gay is not natural; real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years, who was also a man, into the room
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the girl who never told anyone because I'm sacred of losing my family because they hate homosexuals and some days the world is just too much. I want to end it all but I'm too sacred to do that too.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong.
I read a book about a girl on fire
The girl on fire taught me to never give up
We call them 'the heroes of our generation'
The books remain.
Mess with the Hunger Games fandom and we will drive an arrow through your head.
I shall remember Zeus when I see lightning in the sky
Your Godly Parent Is...
You like being in charge
You feel at home in the water
You’re not that much of a people person (ew, mortals)
You own a garden
You often start fights (I keep to myself but if you want to pick a fight with me then you are going down!)
You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge
You’re very creative and artistic
You dislike boys in general
You have a way with tools (no but I do have a way with breaking things)
Every guy/girl swoons for you
You like pickpocketing your friends
You’re the life of the party (more like the damper of the party)
So Hades... well not surprising.
Your School Stereotype Is... (not meant to offend anyone, sorry if it does!)
You own a cell phone
Black is one of your favorite color (no it IS my favorite color)
You can skateboard (I can skatefall)
You like rap (eh guess it's alright)
You like loud music
You watch/watched the Superbowl
Gothic apparently... *insert surprised reaction here* oh who am I kidding, of course I got Gothic.
FACTS ABOUT LOKI ON FANFICTION.NET:
1. Loki is often a cat (Thor on the other hand is a dog, usually a Golden-retriever or Labrador)
2. Loki is sometimes a woman (and she/he is fine as hell)
3. Loki has his mouth stitched shut a lot (*glares in Thor and Odin's direction)
4. Loki often (very often) cries
5. Loki has a (huge) sweet tooth. Especially for ice cream
6. Loki gets tortured, A LOT
7. Loki despises hugs but he get hugged loads anyway (mostly by Thor)
8. Loki and Thanos are NOT BFF's (if you think they are then kindly re-watch all the Marvel movies again at least three times over)
9. Loki is always losing his memory (no, that does not make him the god version of Dory)
10. Loki falls in love with random mortals (and usually makes them kneel)
11. Loki loves Thor a little too much (and Thor loves him even more)
12. Loki dates (at least) one of the Avengers at one point or another
13. Loki hates Odin (which is justified since Odin is an asshole) but loves Frigga (because Frigga is FREAKING AWESOME)
14. Loki was mind-controlled (for Asgard's sake Thor! He's your Odindamned brother! How could you not have noticed that his eyes were green in Thor and blue in The Avengers?!) and if you disagree I will fight you right here and now
15. Loki often gets stuck with Tony Stark somewhere (cue the fluff, angst and kissing)
16. Loki always gets nightmares. And guess who comforts him? (If you guessed Nick Fury than I am both disturbed and disappointed by you)
17. Loki loves Tony the most
18. Loki loves Thor almost as much as he loves Tony
19. Loki and SHIELD never have a good time together (usually it's SHIELD's fault)
20. Loki is often carried by Thor (yes, bridal style)
21. Loki hates Jane... but then he likes her (no, not in that way)
22. Loki's skin is very cold (but it comes in handy a lot so nobody minds)
23. Loki is sometimes a child (yes, both mentally and physically)
24. Loki likes to sleep in late
25. Loki can't live without Thor (or Stark) even though he supposedly hates him (them)
26. Loki likes pizza, ice cream and coffee (which means he sometimes gets hyper and demolishes New York)
27. Loki sometimes smells (and tastes) of mint (he likes green and he wears green; mint is green, therefore he must smell and taste like mint)
28. Loki suffers from PTSD (and being way to gorgeously attractive)
29. Loki hates the sun and sometimes gets sunburn (apparently the Avengers have yet to discover the invention of sun cream)
30. Loki really, REALLY doesn't like the Chitauri (see point 8)
31. Loki can't do magic without words
32. Loki usually crash lands on Stark Tower (damn he has good aim... wait...)
33. Loki loves to turn people into babies/kids, sometimes himself too
34. Loki gets cat ears and/or a tail and it's SUPER cuuuuuuuuute!
35. Loki is both incredibly hilarious and extremely emotional when he is drunk
36. Loki gave birth to ALL his children. Angrboda who?
37. Loki makes up with his Jotun family (and Thor gets jealous)
38. Loki meets Laufey again even though in the movie he dies; never mind the movie canon, you suck canon!
39. Loki is always having arranged marriages with Stark or Thor
40. Loki is always needing help from the Avengers because of Asgard, SHIELD or the Chitauri (sometimes all of them)
41. Loki sometimes messes up his spells (even though he's the best sorcerer in the Nine Realms) so then he has to stay with the Avengers (usually near Thor or Tony)
Favorite Character Quotes:
In a world of locked rooms, the man with the key is king. And honey you should see me in a crown. - Jim Moriarty (BBC Sherlock)
Saving people, hunting things. The family business! - Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
Megara. My friends call me Meg. At least they would if I had any friends. - Meg (Hercules 1997)
Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side. - Sherlock Holmes (BBC Sherlock)
With great power... comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later. - Nico di Angelo (Heroes of Olympus)
Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light. - Albus Dumbledore (Harry Potter)
He said shut up to me. - Lucifer (Supernatural)
I will burn the heart out of you... - Jim Moriarty (BBC Sherlock)
We've all got both light and dark inside of us, what matters is the part we choose to act on, that's what really matters. - Sirius Black (Harry Potter)
Family don't end with blood. - Bobby Singer (Supernatural)
A dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for. Because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid. - Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Not all those who wander are lost. - J.R.R. Tolkien (Lord Of The Rings)
Shadowhunters: looking better in black than the widows of our enemies since 1234. - Jace Herondale (The Mortal Instruments)
Demons I get. People are crazy! - Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
Love has killed more than any disease. - Rumpelstiltskin (Once Upon A Time)
I love a challenge... - Magnus Bane (Shadowhunters)
If you ain't scared, you ain't human. - Newt (The Maze Runner)
I fell in love how you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once. - Hazel Grace (The Fault In Our Stars)
True love cannot die. - Magnus Bane (Shadowhunters)
Come on, Sam! Pay attention to me, I'm bored! - Lucifer (Supernatural)
Fire is catching... and if we burn, you burn with us! - Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)
Every fairytale needs a good, old-fashioned villain. - Jim Moriarty (BBC Sherlock)
Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck. - Will Herondale (The Infernal Devices)
What makes you different makes you dangerous. - Divergent
The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem. - Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean)
Fear doesn't shut you down, it wakes you up. - Four (Divergent)
Be careful. Don't die. - Minho (The Maze Runner)
I may be on the side of the angels, but don't think for one second that I am one of them. - Sherlock Holmes (BBC Sherlock)
One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. - Gandalf (Lord Of The Rings)
What horrible things would you have to do in life to be woven into Hades' underwear? - Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson And The Olympians)
I don't damsel well. Distress I can do. Damseling? Not so much. - Max (Maximum Ride)
Say that again, and know that if you're lying to me, I will find you, and I will skinnn you. - Jim Moriarty (BBC Sherlock)
Well, that was a window into the weird. - Clary Fray (The Mortal Instruments)
Maybe 'okay' will be our 'always.' - Augustus Waters (The Fault In Our Stars)
Doth mother know you weareth her drapes? - Tony Stark (The Avengers)
Aren't ordinary people adorable? - Jim Moriarty (BBC Sherlock)
Well it's (the Underworld) just fine. A little dark, a little gloomy; and as always, hey! Full of dead people. What are you gonna do? - Hades (Hercules 1997)
Lucifer, you're my brother and I love you, but you are a great big bag of dicks. - Gabriel (Supernatural)
I only work in black... and sometimes very, very dark gray. - Batman (The Lego Movie)
She was a horrible mother. Did I tell you about the time she almost traded me for three pigs? Three! I was an attractive child, I could juggle. I was worth five pigs at least! - Crowley (Supernatural)
She's a woman who's had her heart broken, and that can make you do unspeakable things. - Regina (Once Upon A Time)
No one in the history of torture's been tortured with torture like the torture you'll be tortured with! - Crowley (Supernatural)
They treated him like a monster so he became one. - Suicide Squad
It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you. - Augustus Waters (The Fault In Our Stars)
Desire becomes surrender, surrender becomes power. - The Joker (Suicide Squad)
You stole what was left of my heart... and now I've lost you forever.- Maleficent (Maleficent)
Smile because it confuses people. Because it's easier than explaining what is killing you inside. - Joker (The Dark Knight)
That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt. - Augustus Waters (The Fault In Our Stars)
Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's nonsense. - Lemony Snicket
Behold! The god's chosen beverage! Tremble before the horror of diet coke! - Percy Jackson (Heroes Of Olympus)
We didn't make this world. We're just the poor fools who are living in it. - Diana Ladris (Gone)
Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows
Anemoia - the nostalgia for a time you’ve never known. Imagine stepping through the frame into a sepia-tinted haze, where you could sit on the side of the road and watch the locals passing by. Who lived and died before any of us arrived here, who sleep in some of the same houses we do, who look up at the same moon, who breathe the same air, feel the same blood in their veins - and live in a completely different world.
Avenoir - the desire that memory could flow backward. We take it for granted that life moves forward. But you move as a rower moves, facing backwards: you can see where you've been, but not where you're going. And your boat is steered by a younger version of you.
Nodus Tollens - the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore - that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre - which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.
Vellichor - the strange wistfulness of used bookstores, which are somehow infused with the passage of time - filled with thousands of old books you’ll never have time to read, each of which is itself locked in its own era, bound and dated and papered over like an old room the author abandoned years ago, a hidden annex littered with thoughts left just as they were on the day they were captured.
Onism - the frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at one time, which is like standing in front of the departures screen at an airport, flickering over with strange place names like other people’s passwords, each representing own thing you’ll never get to serve before you die - and all because, as the arrow in the map helpfully points out, our are here.
Lachesism - the desire to be struck by disaster - to survive a plane crash, to lose everything in a fire, to plunge over a waterfall - which would put a link in the smooth arc of your life, and forge it into something hardened and flexible and sharp, not just a stiff prefabricated beam that barely covetable the gap between one end of your life and the other.
Occhiolism -the awareness of the smallness of your perspective, by which you couldn’t possibly draw any meaningful conclusions at all, about the world’s or the past or the complexities of culture, because although your life ISBN an epic and unrepeatable anecdote, it still only has a sample size of one, and may end up being the control fitness a much wilder experiment happening in the next room.
Keta - an image that inexplicably leaps back into your mind from the distant past.
Being genderfluid is not easy (especially when you spot a bus advertising a movie called 'Battle of the Sexes' and you collapse into laughter because of the irony and everyone stares at you like you're mad). But it does come with its quirks. Like being able to make awesome puns and responding sarcastically to gender stereotypes...
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies (duh, they're comfortable)
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You love to shop (Hades nah, unless it's for books or stationery)
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend: Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; how life isn't always fair; and 'maybe it was my fault.'
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as basic human rights were revoked from people of a different nationality, sexuality or race; charities became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Mummy... Johnny brought a gun to school
Hush, little brother
I can see your arms
I know you scream
I can see the way
I know that people
Hey, little brother
You see, little brother
He screamed at me
You know, little brother
But hush, little brother
I'm sorry, little brother
Uh oh, little brother
Hush, little brother