Author has written 11 stories for Avatar: Last Airbender, and Bartimaeus Trilogy.
me-obviously extra dry."
Name: That's obvious... Guess.
Basic Description: Blue eyes and blonde hair. Slender and short.
Astrological Sign: Scorpio.
Zodiac Sign: The Horse.
Nationality: American. A born and bred Californian.
Everything's relevant, Greg, until it's not. -Grissom, CSI
The Muffin isn't picky, Timmy, nor is it tasty but it is powerful. All hail the MUFFIN! -Cosmo, The Fairly Oddparents
Nothing makes sense anymore! -Chester, The Fairly Oddparents
I didn't go to evil medical school to be called Mr. Evil. -Dr. Evil, Austin Powers
I don't know what that means. -Dr. Temperance Brennan, Bones
Agent Seeley Booth: I need you to be Dr. Brennan.
Dr. Zachary Addy: I don't know what that means.
-Bones, "Aliens in a Space Ship"
Guard: My liege, do you mean the good chamber or the bad chamber?
King Bumi: The newly refurbished chamber.
Guard: Wait, which chamber are we talking about?
King Bumi: The newly refurbished chamber that used to be the bad chamber, until the recent refurbishing that is. We've been calling it the new chamber but we really should number them. Uh... TAKE THEM TO THE REFURBISHED CHAMBER THAT WAS ONCE BAD!
Katara: This is a prison cell? But it's so nice.
Aang: He did say it was newly refurbished.
Sokka: Nice or not, we're prisoners.
-Avatar: The Last Airbender, Book 1: Water, Chapter 5: The King of Omashu
Grissom: Hey, Nick!... I think I've found a toupe. Our vic. may be bald.
Nick: Thanks. That will help me distinguish it from the other... severed heads I find out here.
I got a shovel and was going to kill one of the cats. That was when I was like, "I'm a bit of a mess." -Pete Doherty
Satan's Camaro. In my yard. It's stalking me. -Sam Witwicky, Transformers
We're here to climb this tree. -Sam Witwicky, Transformers
This is a chihuahua! My chihuahua! We love chihuahuas! -Sam Witwicky, Transformers
So I downloaded a couple thousand songs off the internet! Who hasn't? Who hasn't? -Glen Whitmann, Transformers
"...to punish and enslave." -Barricade, Transformers
Agent Victor Henricksen: You think you're funny?
Dean Winchester: I think I'm adorable!
-Supernatural, "Folsom Prison Blues"
Sam Winchester: It's an old country custom, Dean. Planting a tree as a grave marker!
Dean Winchester: You're like a walking encyclopedia of weirdness.
Sam Winchester: Yeah, I know.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: I have never gotten a B and I never will.
Agent Seeley Booth: That's my girl.
Captain Malcolm Reynolds: When I want a lot of medical jargon, I'll talk to a doctor.
Dr. Simon Tam: You are talking to a doctor.
-Firefly, "Objects in Space"
Dr. Zachary Addy: You're supposed to bump my fist with yours.
Dr. Temperance Brennan: Why?
Dr. Zachary Addy: I'm told it's a widely acknowledged gesture of mutual success.
Angela Montenegro: I love it when you two impersonate earthlings.
-Bones, "The Girl in the Fridge"
Curtis: They did tests on me, and, um... they probed me.
Dean Winchester: They probed you?
Curtis: Yeah, they probed me. Again. And again. And again and - and again and again and again and then one more time.
Dean Winchester: Yikes.
Curtis: And that's not even the worst of it.
Dean Winchester: How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch!
Curtis: They... they made me... slow dance!
-Supernatural, "Tall Tales"
Lord Harrow: I know him. And I think he's a psychotic lowlife.
Captain Malcolm Reynolds: And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community.
Sam Winchester: Look, man, I know this all has to be so hard.
Frat boy: Not so much.
Sam Winchester: But I want you to know... I'm here for you, you brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here! You're too precious for this world!
-Supernatural, "Tall Tales"
The human body can be drained of blood in 8.6 seconds given adequate vacuuming systems. -River Tam, Firefly, "Safe"
One look at Sam's dewy, sensitive eyes - they'll let me right in the door! -Demon Meg possessing Sam Winchester, Supernatural, "Born Under a Bad Sign"
Captain Malcolm Reynolds: Gotta say, doctor, your talent for alienatin' folk is near miraculous.
Dr. Simon Tam: Yes, I'm very proud.
I like him. He says okie-dokie. -Dean Winchester, Supernatural, "Nightshifter"
Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race and we must live in harmony. -Hoban "Wash" Washburn, Firefly, "The Message"
I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot. -Dean Winchester, Supernatural
Bite your tongue, heathen! -Dean Winchester, Supernatural
Does anyone have a breath mint? Some guts spilled in my mouth while I was killing my way in here. -Demon Ruby, Supernatural, "Jus In Bello"
Shiny. Let's be bad guys. -Jayne Cobb, Serenity
Operative: Captain Reynolds, I should tell you, so that you don't waste your time: You can't make me angry.
Inara Serra: Please. Spend an hour with him.
And, Kaylee, what the hell's goin' on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose? -Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, "The Train Job"
Ed: Hm, we know you've had it hard during the crippling writers' strike.
Harry: Lazy fat cats.
Oh! I dare you to say that again. Only this time say "Brak, I love you." -Brak, Leave it to Brak
Ah, the pitter patter of tiny feet in huge combat boots... Shut up! -Captain Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly, "War Stories"
Dean Winchester: We were playing Jenga over at the Walsh's the other night and he hasn't shut up about this Christmas wreath. I don't know. You tell him.
Sam Winchester: Sure... It was yummy.
-Supernatural, "A Very Supernatural Christmas"
If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. -Reverend Derrial Book, Firefly, "Our Mrs. Reynolds"
Father Reynolds: A seance?! Young man, you are in a house of God!
Sam Winchester: It's based on early Christian rites, if that helps any.
-Supernatural, "Houses of the Holy"
Hi peoples! Welcome to my profile (I have no idea as to why you'd want to come here, though).
Here's the basics on me. I'm an obsessive bibliophile and I'm sure that many who have found themselves on this site can relate to me on this. I adore many books, tv shows, and movies but I will be seen mainly in the Avatar: The Last Airbender category.
For those of you who are wondering about it, yes, I have indeed been reviewing as 'me, obviously' anonymous for quite some time now. And I finally decided to register.
Because of stupid plot bunnies, you may just see more fics by yours truly this year, so watch out for me!
Your dedicated authoress, faithful reviewer, and fellow bibliophile,
P.S. I don't flame, so don't accuse me of doing so. I only review stories I like and when I critique I am merely giving tips that I believe will help make an already good story better. K? (That's a rheotorical question, obviously.)
My Rant on MarySues and GaryStus in the Avatar Fandom (and other, equally great fandoms)
I've officially snapped. "Why?" the ever curious populace wonders. And I shall tell you why, oh yes, I shall.
I was wondering aimlessly through the Avatar-verse, as all of us fanfictioners do, looking for a nice well written fic to read. But I was finding it rather difficult due to the plague that has struck our young fandom. A surplus of the dreaded MarySues. Like a dark shadow they send the wonderful and addicting thing that is fanfiction into the fan's equivalent of a nuclear winter. Poignant and oftentimes fatal they infect all fandoms. With them comes their sister in arms, the equally dreaded (by the good writers and all readers with sense) cliche.
Face it, they're there. It's like the boogeyman crawling out from under your bed or out of your closet and sitting at your dinner table, touching all your food with his boogery hands. It's icky and no one wants him there. Call in exterminator, I say. Get rid of the roach-like Sues! Let's go on strike. Let's say: "Fanfiction, you've banned songfics and the alleged script format. So do us a true favor, BAN THE SUES!" I'm tired of them and there are many others who stand with me on this issue.
In the Avatar-verse they're the Airbenders that survived despite the fact that the show title (the American one) says that Aang is the last. They're the Second Avatars; which is impossible because the Avatar is one person, one spirit that is reincarnated over and over. They're the New Benders: look I bend weird things or two elements, but not four cause that would make me a Second Avatar. And my theory on why there are only four elements is this: Elements= Elemental Forms, otherwise known as EARTH-SOLID, WATER-LIQUID, AIR-GAS, FIRE-ENERGY/PLASMA. The only forms all atomic materials can take; four, just four. That's my explanation on why Iroh could bend lightning in "The Storm" and Azula bends lightning constantly, cause both lightning and fire are forms of energy. (Lightning has even been called the purest form of fire; Iroh and Azula aren't multibenders, kiddies, they're just very powerful and very advanced Firebenders.) And if that doesn't work for you, the creators themselves said that each element mirrors one of the four seasons (no, not the hotel): WATER-WINTER, EARTH-SPRING, FIRE-SUMMER, AIR-AUTUMN. Once more only four and that will never change. You'll never hear, "Well, the climatologists released a report today saying that the year is actually composed of five seasons."
In Artemis Fowl they're the Super hot Super geni that either beat Arty or win his heart, usually both. And Artemis is always OOC in these stories.
I won't even touch on the subject of Harry Potter MarySues. (shudders) Only death awaits that way. Death and despair.
me-obviously's Themepark Conspiracy Stuffed Brain On Plotholes
Think of your story as a roller coaster. The wheels are the chapters; the cars are the characters; the riders, the readers (you can tell which ship or canon character they favor by which car they sit in); and the track is, of course, the plot. Those are the basics. If you wanna go deep into the simile you can call the twists plot twists (creative that), the climbs are the suspense, and the dips are the romantic scenes (most of the ones found here make me sick to my stomach, but that's me).
The term "plothole" makes a whole lot of sense partly because of its uncanny resemblance to the word "pothole." Y'know, the things that cause people to swear when they go over them in their shiny little sportcars? There's a whole 'nother metaphor waiting there but I'll stick with the roller coaster comparison for now; don't have my license yet after all. But as roller coasters aren't made up of wide flat stretches of cement as streets are, our plothole will be rather different from a pothole. Instead of taking away a section of cement we'll just remove a piece of the track, your plot ladies and gentlemen. It's all coming together now, eh? And to make it an example of the worst case of plothole, the piece we've just removed is a crucial part of your climax... it is an important component in the big loop of the coaster.
Here come your readers/riders. They've either been laughing, screaming, wetting themselves, or rejecting the contents of their stomachs depending on your story's quality. Now, they don't see the plothole coming, it's a nice big surprise from hell. This ignorance is to be expected as only the author is required to actually scrutinize the story. No one else is outlining your story, I assure you. You don't watch the track while on a roller coaster, you just go with it. They go in for the loop; excitement builds in their hearts, minds, and lower abdomens. The wheels of the front car hit the plothole and the train goes off the track with spectacular results.
There is carnage, more blood on the ground than red paint in the Fire Lord's war room, maimed bodies that put Zuko's face to shame, noises louder than the stomach of a hungry Sokka, mental and physical trauma, flash photography, death, enough twisted metal to construct a Fire Navy battleship, and lawsuits. Lots and lots of lawsuits. In short over half of the elements required in a Greek tragedy can be found at the crash site of your story. And that is why plotholes, children, are a strict no no.
Sure even the Disney executives will at times make mistakes. A screw will come loose or go missing entirely. But you can bet your eternal soul that when some observant park-goer with a hero complex points it out they get off their arses and see to it that that screw is replaced. They may not do so immediately but as soon as it's brought up in a news conference (review page for you) they restore it before the paparazzi comes snooping. Bad media coverage is bad for the themepark. So for the sake of your international entertainment empire proofread your flippin work.
The Writing Kai
The Writing Kai is an ongoing series of writing challenges between myself and superlazygirl. It is a fierce, taxing writing battle with no clear winner or finish. And indeed, as long as we're both alive and in the unprofessional business of Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfiction, it will probably not end.
Why did we do it? Why would we - who already have several multi-chaptered fics on our plate along with our respective school/work demands - add this onto our workload? Elementary, because we can and because we're insane enough to do so.
Mourn us, friends and guests who are bored enough to read this sad, sad profile, for it is likely that we will not survive. After all, it was named for the infamous fire duel featured in Avatar. And when I called the first challenge I originally referred to it as the Agni Writing Kai - the fire part was hinting at the flash-point speed of a challenge. The combination of whiplash and exhaustion may prove deadly in this case, I fear. And if not that, it is very possible that my and superlazygirl's respective muses may conspire to murder us for this.
Enjoy it and expect many more fics from myself and superlazygirl that hint at more than a little instability. We're mad like that.
Status: Slowly emerging from Hiatus
I apologize for the recent lack of updates, or rather the not so recent one. I fully plan on finishing all my fics as soon as my schedule and my muse work out their differences. In the meantime, go to my homepage, there you will find several links. Ignore the FicWad one, it only contains fics that are already featured here, and proceed to the links to video hosting sites. My YouTube account contains FFVII fanvids while Putfile hosts my Avatar fanvids. I do hope these will hold you over. I'm quite proud of them.
Learning to Play with Fire: The twelfth chapter, Rolly Polly, is up. More than one hunter is on the prowl and not all of them are Fire Nation, or even human. Aang uses his extensive knowledge to turn the hunters into the hunted.
Magnetism: A small oneshot lacking in any purpose other than to entertain and mock. Not sure what I plan on doing with it. I could turn it into a series of drabbles, I suppose, but there's such a terrific amount of those already that I'm lacking the motivation. Don't expect much from it.
Sin: Erratic updates. This fic is composed of oneshot parody character studies that take place during canon episodes and compare twisted versions of our favorite characters' mannerisms to the Seven Deadly Sins. The current one explored: "Hippo mad!" Face the wrath of The Big Bad Hippo.
Vibrations: I saw "The Blind Bandit" and loved Toph's character. Her interaction with Aang was adorable and so real. I wrote this to go into more depth on Toph's confusion with Aang's evasion of her attacks and her inability to sense him. It'll probably remain a oneshot but should inspiration strike me I may write more. In response to SARAH (nothing's meant by the bold, just hoping maybe it'll catch your attention as I don't want to edit the fic and you left no address for me to respond), Aang's color was blue - that was shown when we got the "Shirshu vision" when he swooped into the monastary after they'd captured Sokka and Katara - while Katara's scent was purple. Rewatch the episode, trust me; I catch details and I remember them.
Ozai's Angels: I accepted a challenge from superlazygirl (whether that makes me stupid or insane, I do not yet know) and this is it. It's AU - obviously - and does not adhere to the movie's plot because that's impossible in the Avatarverse, you silly thing. The third chapter: Grand Theft Bender is up.
Sound Waves: A Tophang oneshot/drabble. I'll probably end up combining this with Vibrations in the near future. I'm seriously pondering just making a Toph oneshot/drabble collection. Plot bunnies have kept me on my toes since "The Blind Bandit."
Teo in a Tank: It just speaks for itself. My sister was all like "Do you still liek teh Avatarz?" and I was like "I miss my Avatarz fandom." So I thought this up last night and wrote it out while chatting with Hotspur on IM. Oneshot.
You break one rule: My brain does weird things sometimes. This time it took the scene where Aang flees his dance party and added some crack. Literally. Some Shoji/On Ji shipping is apparant if you squint.
Remnants: This was inspired by a conversation with Superlazygirl about ATLA and it wrote itself while I was IMing her and Hotspur (those girls inspire me, what can I say?). It has major spoilers for The Firebending Masters and is AU.
Those left behind: It can't end that way! It just can't! I needed the closure, so I wrote it. I have no idea what's going on with Jun here, but whatever. If she wants to freak me out, that's cool. I gave the lend-an-eel-hound a part because he's awesome yet thankless, poor creature.