Author has written 10 stories for Digimon, and Naruto.
[12/14/14] wow, holy shit. it's been six years since i have updated this profile. i'm pretty sure that no one remembers me or any of my stories... but nonetheless, the memories i have had with this site, are still there, and thriving. it's almost been ten years since i've discovered fanfiction. i remember reading my first story when i was ten for fucks sake. and now i'm twenty, and i'm still the same awkward fangirl i was all of those years ago.
fanfiction has honestly had such a big impact on my life. it paved a road for my writing, helped me develop my own voice and has just been an emotional outlet unrivaled by anything else. i fucking love this site, hell, i even wrote my college application essay about fanfiction (yes, i went there). and even during my university days, nothing winds me down more than browsing through this site, looking for my next treasure.
what am i getting to? i thought i was over writing fanfiction. to be honest, with university up my ass and time slipping away, i found myself writing less and less. once i entered my second year of high school, i had almost stopped writing creatively completely. it was like permanent case of writer's block that i just couldn't escape from. i would open up old word documents filled with possible story ideas and half-written paragraphs and just ignore them, leaving them untouched, until i would just close them and go to bed. There are a lot of stories i have wanted to pursue, so many ideas in my fucking twisted mind that i've wanted to share. i don't have the guts, or motivation, to write them down, let alone share them. my pursuit for fanfiction has jumped so drastically from show to show, i even forgotten about the one that had started it all: Digimon.
i thought i was over digimon. i can remember my ten year old self watching "jetix" on disney and discovering digimon. i had honestly found the entire concept completely stupid before that. i mean evolving monsters? that had to be the dumbest crap ever. but when i had watched my first season of the show (digimon frontier), well damn, i fell fucking hard for that show. it got me to watch all of the seasons preceding it (but not the ones after it, fuck that shit). and i absolutely fell in love with kouji minamoto. fuck, i crushed so hard for that boy. even today he sends butterflies to my core. just yesterday, i re-watched my favorite episodes of my two favorite characters (kouji and yamato) and just ah, i remembered this account, and the stories i had abandoned so many years ago. the nostalgia got me to attempt rereading my old work (and promptly cringing in disgust after). fuck, my writing was horrendous. i mean, it's definitely not that much better today, but ugh, just reading that crap, i felt shivers down my spine. damn my melodramatic teenage years.
anyway. it got me thinking about where i had planned to go with all of my stories, and even wanting to rewrite a few. i mean, the ideas weren't ... awful, just oddly, and rather shallowly, perceived. after rewatching the anime, i am thoroughly convinced that taito and takouji and meant to be. its so damn obviously!! and now i just need to portray it in words. unfortunately, my mind sees kouji as a tear-shedding, angst-ridden teenage with infinitely low self-esteem. god, i have so many abusive ideas for my boy-toys. hopefully i've gather up the balls to actually write these things down (and then be shunned for my shit-mind).
all in all, i haven't forgotten about fanfiction. and no matter how many times i've thought i was giving up the site, it always comes back to me. hopefully in ten more years, i'm not sneaking off to a lonely corner to get my daily fix of this odd obsession. who knows?
(... i also really want to draw more awkward pictures of kouji writhing in pleasure under many mobs... but in due to time my friends :-))
oh, and i made a new fanfiction account a few years ago, to awkwardly lurk in search of new favorite stories. i still cry when i am looking for a story to reread... and it's gone. oh the pain.
here are some links (shameless advertising): ff acc and !!! i hope to see you all soon. with love x
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