None of these things in my profile are necessarily of my opinion, simply put they are articles that I either believe to be wildly entertaining or put forth a point that has yet to be countered. So please take no offense to this profile or if you do move you mouse up an inche or two and go all the way to the right so that you can click the hide profile button place there so that you can go down and read the story you came here to find.
That being said if you take offense to any of these items and PM me about them then a big fuck you, too.
For all you handheld viewers out there here is my community in updated all:
and added all:
and M rated updated all:
and M rated added all:
Very good list of fanfiction:
Set a week after the episode ‘Earshot’ Buffy wasn’t the one infected with the aspect of the demon, and it wasn’t the demon from the show.
Buffy awoke in an awkward state, from experience she could tell she was shackled down, spread eagle on a rough wooden slab, her sense of sight, hearing and smell were muffled by a mask of some sort over her head.
Fortunately the mask had an opening for her mouth that allowed her to breath, but the ring that was attached to said opening forced her jaws apart just slightly wider than was comfortable, she was sure she would be in pain without her Slayer flexibility.
Buffy felt her body tense as a piece of cold metal was introduced to her left wrist, she knew the precise feeling of a blade distinctly and shuddered at how vulnerable she was at the moment, as the blade slowly journeyed up her arm Buffy tried to place the one responsible, she had been at the Bronze with Willow and Dawn after a successful night of demon hunting, she had left to find Angel when she had heard her name called, almost a whisper on the wind and then…
The blade had made it to her shoulder and the blonde felt the cold metal slide between her skin and the cute top she had found earlier at the mall, with a sharp tug the metal was gone, but the cloth now lay in a different position, most likely sliced open by her attacker, she was surprised when a soft warm and wet sensation started to warm her palm before it trace the path of the knife blade up her arm, it took the slayer a moment to place the sensation and nearly freaked when she realized that her attacker was licking her, it’s long tongue taking it’s time as it traced its way up her arm.
By the time it got to her shoulder though Buffy was surprised to discover her palm had gotten very cool as the saliva cooled before warming up in a surprisingly pleasant way, shuddering as the tongue left her flesh it was quickly replaced with the blade again on her other arm, following the same concept as before it started at her wrist, just slightly enough pressure for her to even acknowledge it’s existents before tracing its way up her arm, for a moment Buffy felt a pang of anger as she blade once again sliced her top away before the tongue returned, by this point Buffy was really interested in what the saliva was doing, to her left hand as she something, anything to touch her at that point, anything to either increase or decrease the feeling, she really wasn’t sure which.
The Slayer let out a soft moan as the tongue returned, this time to the palm of her right hand before mimicking the trail of the blade, after the tongue was done Buffy wondered what the next step was before gasping as the blade slowly slide across her belly, tracing the bottom of her shirt before doubling back and making its way up her body, she could feel the cloth part like butter as the blade traced it’s way between her breasts before it reached her neckline and finally finished cutting off her shirt, Buffy felt herself gasping slightly as her breathing increased, she knew what was next and like magic the tongue returned, once again following the path of the blade, stopping only slightly to pay special attention to her Belly button before her shirt was pulled out from under her.
Working desperately to control her breathing Buffy felt the process begin again, this time the blade traced the lines of her Bra, delicately slicing away the straps before destroying the bridge and freeing her breasts from their confinement and leaving the support system held in place only by the cups.
And then the tongue started once more, for the life of her Buffy was desperately in need of friction on her hands and arms and already her breathing had increased to desperate levels with only the fear of the blade keeping her from thrashing in her bonds.
As the tongue worked its way around her chest Buffy squirmed as it once more deviated to pay attention to the underside of her breasts as hands removed the bra completely before diving into the valley between her breasts.
The frantic thumping of her heart and the gasping breath were amplified within the hood as Buffy tried desperately tried to fight her body’s response to the stimulus, struggling against her bonds Buffy refused to admit that her Slayer strength was nowhere near strong enough to break her free.
Letting out a deep Moan as the mouth that horrible torturous tongue belong to softly kissed her nipple Buffy finally sagged in defeat, there would be no escape from this, for a moment she felt a sense of relief that her time as the Slayer was over before she buried that under her own guilt of failing her friends once again.
Looking down at the half naked Buffy Summers Xander let out a predatory smile as she finally submitted to his mental manipulations, while he didn’t understand everything about the situation he found himself in Xander had discovered that after a run in with a rather arrogant demon a week earlier he had the ability to hear what other people were thinking, especially when aroused and he could even insert thoughts into people’s heads.
While not the only thing he had gotten from the demons blood it was definitely interesting to see the real thoughts of those around him, especially Buffy, the Slayer had a Death wish a mile long and a Submissive streak even longer, she buried the last part under a façade of the strong rebel warrior but it just made her eventual submission all the more powerful, once she had submitted to Angel not the loss of his soul could shake his dominance over her.
And so Xander had taken it into his own hands, he had been surprised by her reaction of his tongue; while he knew his tongue had grown several Inches the saliva had been surprising.
Continuing his slow torture of her Xander removed her Skirt and panties in much the same way he had the shirt and bra, giving himself a moment to lick softly around the slayers moist sex before placing a kiss on her already excited clitoris stepping back. After a moments time the blonde slayer started to moan and thrash once more as his saliva worked its magic on her body.
Shifting up over her onto the table Xander smiled as his inner Hyena approved of his dominant position before he slowly lowered his head and kissed the masked slayer, slipping his tongue into her mouth Xander explored her mouth thoroughly in a deep kiss before advancing, slowly letting his tongue down her throat he felt the Saliva work its magic again as her gag reflex relaxed. Smirking at her moans as he deep throated her with his tongue Xander finally withdrew and took the next step in his plan to control the slayer.
With a pulse of energy Xander flung the door open violently before jumping off the writhing slayer, storming around the room for a few minutes Xander crashed and clattered loudly before letting out an inhuman scream and stopping.
Dragging a prepared demon out of the shadows Xander took some time hacking it’s head from its shoulders as it thrashed violently, as it finally collapsed dead Xander took a minute to admire his Handiwork before rushing over to the bound Slayer, he lost no time in removing the mask and smiling as her lust crazed eyes finally locked on his own, with a soft mental push Buffy finally submitted fully to him.
“It’s okay Buffy, I’ve got you” Xander said as he unbuckled her from her position, while he was prepared for her reaction Xander was still thrown backwards as the horny Slayer tackled her savior to the ground, as she frantically tore his clothes off Xander smiled, Buffy was finally his, now he just had to lay claim to the rest of his girls.
Xander groaned as Buffy took him deep in her throat, she had spent the last half hour writhing against him as she used every inch of his body to scratch the intolerably erotic itch that he had started on her skin and only recently had she finally succumbed to the lust and taken him in her mouth to scratch the final place he had touched before freeing her, the slight gagging noise the blonde slayer made every time she took him deep was a beautiful music to his ears as was the frantic slapping sound from her crotch as she fingered and rubbed herself to another orgasm.
Gripping the back of her skull Xander stilled her movement for a moment as the sex crazed slayer looked up at him desperitly, enjoying that particular look Xander buried himself in her mouth and down her throat, the gagging noise was countered by Buffy’s forcing herself deeper as she increased her frantic fingering to a blistering pace, holding himself in the depth of her throat Xander enjoyed the frantic muscle contraction of her throat for a moment as she tried to drag air into her lungs before finally jerking himself out as his orgasm hit it’s peak and he cummed all over the cute blondes face, enjoying the erotic sight of her cum stained face Xander allowed a soft pulse of his energy to enter her mind and sooth the reaction in her throat slightly.
He was amazed at how quickly Buffy twigged to the answer to her plight and in a moments time She had scooped all his seed into her greedy mouth as he allowed the final tingling in her throat to fade even as he added a slight surge to her breasts and pussy.
The sex charged scream Buffy let out as she shuddered against him was one of the most arousing sounds he had ever had the pleasure to hear leaning back slightly as Buffy gripped his cock and quickly struggled to bring him back to full erection Xander silently considered the consequences of these new powers before shrugging the thought away, he would enjoy it while it lasted.
Slipping into the large house Xander slid like quicksilver up the stairs before silently dropping his burden to the pastel bedcovers and gently shifting her under the sheets, Buffy had worked hard for nearly two hours to get her ‘salve’ everywhere his tongue had touched, the image of her cum covered body finally relaxing on the hard ground was something he would treasure for the rest of his life, thankfully his seed had been absorbed into her skin as she rubbed herself in the massive post climax glow she had managed before fading into a deep unconscious state under the watchful eye of her new lover.
Thankfully while his strength hadn’t been increased drastically by the demon blood his endurance was beyond amazing and Buffy hadn’t been to heavy, idly he wondered if she was eating enough before a sensation hit him like a bolt of lightning, the deep heady scent of arousal was rising in the air and Xander doubted if Buffy was even capable of breathing at the moment without effort.
Tracking the intoxicating scent through the house Xander was amazed he could even be aroused after his current adventure before shrugging the though off as he neared the Bathroom and the soft sound of running water as the shower started up.
Taking a moment to test the flavor of the arousal Xander knew it was definitely feminine and different than the heavy vanilla and strawberry arousal that was Buffy this was like a wonderful wine that had aged to perfection.
Silently opening the door was child splay as he just kept her mind from noticing the noise and air movement before implanting a desire to keep her eyes closed Xander stepped into the massive master bathroom and took his first real look at Joyce Anne Summers through the water shrouded glass of her shower door.
Letting the door slide shut Xander leaned against the wall and just watched, her mind was awash with thoughts and feelings, most of them centering on her daughter that was out well past her usual patrol time and the enjoyable sensation of the hot water washing down her body. The rest clouded slightly by the glass of wine she had indulged in earlier to calm herself.
Memorizing the clouded feeling for later Xander shifted some of that feeling over onto her worry as Xander slightly nudged her arousal as he enjoyed the far more interesting way Joyce started moving the soapy cloth across her body, after a moment Xander waited for the older Summer woman to move back under the water flow before nudging her arousal again, swallowing heavily as her soft moan drifted out over the sound of the water Xander resisted the urge to rush in and take her where she stood, while his mental powers were rapidly growing he doubted he would be able to keep her from noticing that.
By now Joyces own mind had picked up what he wanted and some very interesting images stared to move through her mind, a few minutes of careful manipulation moved her thoughts from Hank her Ex, a few of her old boyfriends and Giles before she locked onto his form, while he was slighty hurt that she didn’t think about him that way Xander modified this slightly by nudging her arousal each time an image of him came up in her mind, quickly her thoughts turned from the frantic vanilla sex acts that he had been expect due to experience with Buffy’s to the deep dark and depraved thoughts that both aroused and slightly scared him.
Stepping out of her mind Xander watched the older woman pleasure herself to thoughts of him before taking his leave of the room, if he stayed too long she would either finally notice him, or he would throw all subtlety to the wind and fuck the older Ms. Summers into the tile wall of her own bathroom.
Outside Xander took a deep steadying breath before walking out and double checking that the Summers house was locked up tight as he left.
He highly doubted he would get much sleep for the rest of the night.
Behind him Joyce paused only once as a slight draft pulled her out of her fantasy before diving right back into the thoughts and fantasies of leather and lace she had once thought she had abandoned for the security of Hank Summers many years earlier.
Xander had been right about that particular bit, not only had he had a hard time sleeping that night but he found himself laying awake most nights now and after a week he had stopped even trying, choosing instead to wander as he waited for the more human populace to wake up.
In just the one week he had discovered a whole new world populated by far more than just Vampires with the random demon scattered in for flavoring, a whole nightlife lived and thrived in Sunnydale that few humans would ever have a part in.
A nightlife that had accepted him with open arms, the demonic energy he released now was like a beacon to the others of the Sunnydale night as he walked along the deserted streets headed for the thriving back alleys of the Sunnydale docks and thought about his last week of life.
The first had been his parents, a quick mental masking pf their minds when they each arrived home from work gave them the pleasant buzz they sought while keeping them out of trouble, no more angry drunks or arrests for public intoxication or even Driving under the influence to be had and the money saved on both the court costs and alcohol had added a much needed influx into the Harris household, when combined with the lack of hangovers the next morning and Jessica and Tony Harris were seen as the up and coming middle class they had been twenty years earlier.
The second was Joyce, last night he had stood outside her bedroom door watching as she flogged herself repeatedly while moaning out his name through a ballgag and bounced on a massive rubber dildo.
That image had kept him ‘up’ for several hours after; Joyce was definitely going to be joining his bed in the near future if he had anything to say on the matter.
Thankfully his time with Buffy was getting even better, the Slayer spirit was arguably dominant but Buffy’s personality was submissive, much like Kendra’s had been and that had really been coming out in spades in the last week and that had carried over to her slaying, the slayer spirit coming out in force when finally allowed to devastating effect on the battlefield, she had been a wild animal while fighting recently but a true pet afterwards, he was considering a collar of some sort for her but finding the right style was…
His musings were cut off as his mind brushed up against another nearby, a mind filled with excitement and energy and… a deep burning anger buried underneath, an anger that was quickly rising to the surface, anger that…
Looking towards the horizon Xander realized that moonrise was at best minutes away and quickly dropped all the pieces into place, there was a werewolf nearby, one that knew what they were and was excited about it, one that enjoyed the rush of the animal and didn’t care about anyone that got hurt by their internal beast.
Rushing through the dark Sunnydale back alleys Xander turned a corner and froze, a short dirty blond was standing naked in the alley as her eyes remained glued to the horizon, Taking a deep breath to calm himself Xander reached out with his mind, clouding the beasts mind with the deep drought of alcohol and giving him a moment to focus.
Moving deeper into the mind Xander felt the anger of the cursed animal within and sought a source, something that he could use to control the beast before it got loose and killed him, and stopped in shock at what he found, deep in the animals mind was all the pent up sexual aggression from its host, a host that used the animal as an outlet to her own aggression and did not let the animal have its own outlet.
Pushing all the lust and desire he could manage into the beasts mind Xander lifted the alcohol haze and watched as the girl doubled up from the need and frantically started rubbing herself as the wolfs needs bled over, Smiling to himself Xander glanced at the moon as it finally came over the horizon, he would have to work with this one to keep her under control but with a few tweaks he was sure he could make her his bitch with little effort.
Sending another pulse of lust into the blonde Xanders smile took on a predatory hint as she screamed in need as her fingers did little to quell the animal need he had started within her.
Stepping into the alleyway completely Xander was ignored completely until he knelt next to the thrashing female and stilled her movement by setting a hand on her midsection and one to join hers at her core.
Looking into the frenzied eyes of the girl Xander smiled nastily as he trapped both her hands in his own and held her still. “What’s your name little one?”
Holding her down Xander continued to pump the excited energy into the wolf and let the animals desires feed into the woman beneath him, after a moments struggle to find words gasped before responding
“Veruca” the blond managed to gasp out a as she writhed beneath him in a desperate bid to gain some sort of release.
Releasing her hands Xander shoved three fingers deep into her pussy and simply enjoyed the backlash as her orgasm hit, the tight pressure as her internal muscles worked around his hand brought a dirty idea he had picked up from Joyce to mind, giving Veruca a moment to come down from her explosion Xander waited until he had her full attention before proceeding.
Pulling his hand out slightly Xander cupped all his fingers together and pushed back in. As Veruca struggled to catch her breath Xander continued to push and his hand stretched more and more, her struggling had stopped completely and Veruka had tensed up like a bow, her head thrown back against the dirty alley ground as she screamed to the world as a second explosion hit her just moments after the first, Curling his fist inside her Xander gave her a moment to hit her peak before shoving his fist as deep as her body would allow.
The screams she produced from that were enough to wake dogs as far away as Los Angeles.
After a time Veruca finally relaxed, entirely spent with Xander still buried to his forarm inside her, Pushing back within her mind Xander let the Hyena out entirely and smiled as the wolf Submitted fully to his wishes, sliding his arm out Xander ignored the micro-orgasms he caused before sliding Veruca into his lap and carefully petting her hair with his juice covered arm Xander enjoyed the scent that filled the alley as the nearly comatose female smiled dreamily up at him.
“Well now my little bitch, I hope you enjoyed that because the night… she is just getting started.” Xander said and chuckled at the fear that started to fill his new pet, while Veruca herself might not enjoy the coming hours the wolf would see to it she submitted to his every whim, had she spent a little less time giving the wolf free reign she might have been able to resist when he ordered her to service him while at Willy’s Alibi room, But that was a story for another time.
The next morning Veruca would flee Sunnydale to escape, but each full moon would bring her right back to her Alpha.
Sitting back on the couch Xander enjoyed his current position, his pants were around his ankles while a naked slayer sat on his lap with her back to him, his cock nestled along the crack of her ass as she moaned in appreciation as he messaged her pussy gently, returning his attention to her neck he continued to kiss and suck on her gently as he smoothed out her mental thoughts with a smile.
The Slayer spirit was a lot like the Wolf part of his new pet, wild and untamed but completely submissive to one that proved itself superior, an action that Xander had made sure to drive home to the demonically tainted essence several times in the last few days.
Shifting his attention to the other side of her neck Xander scraped his teeth over the pulse point before sucking again, her moans and writhing atop him was a sweet torture that he was unwilling to end until he absolutely needed too.
Joyce had made some lame excuse earlier after a subtle bit of mental prompting that had the horny MILF fleeing to the assumed safety of her gallery to work off her pent up erotic excitement that reared its head whenever he was around, he was really enjoying teasing the older woman even as he fucked her daughter on the living room couch.
Smirking at the thought Xander pushed the image of him doing just that into the older Summers mind and enjoyed the feedback he got, shock, supriise, excitement, lust and disgust. a moments work and the last emotion faded quickly into the background static of Joyce’s mind.
The amazing thing was, he could taste her emotions all the way across town as she desperately fingered herself in her office at the gallery.
Enjoying the feelings his little game was creating Xander finally reached down and slowly lifted Buffy, enjoying the writing motions she made as his cock rubbed its way down between her cheeks before springing free, with frantic need Buffy’s small hand gripped him almost painfully as she lined him up with her core. Holding her in place for several moments Xander was surprised by the almost feral snarl Buffy let out in response to his teasing before he dropped her down his length in a single rush.
He barely managed to avoid having his face bashed in by her skull as Buffy threw her head back and screamed her orgasm through the empty house, enjoying the now familiar but never old milking sensation of Buffy’s internal muscles Xander reached up and slowly messaged her breasts as she worked her way back to the waking world, sucking on an earlobe Xander smiled as the Slayer spirit pushed her to respond and Buffy quickly started to rock back and forth on top of him.
The sudden pulse of lust was almost tangible as Xander woke in a rush and looked about desperately for the source, after a moments panic at the unfamiliar surroundings Xander remembered that he had fallen asleep on the couch after his marathon of sexual adventures with Buffy.
Looking around slightly as he came to the full awake state Xander blinked at the sight of Joyce Summers standing in the doorway in shock, frowning slightly at her reaction to him Xander looked around again before realizing what had happened, while he had tucked himself away before drifting off he had succumbed to a midnight erection and was currently peeking out of his pants by a considerable margin.
Rolling his eyes Xander quickly clouded the elder Summers mind with the memory of alcohol before smoothing it over into a dreamlike state he had memorized earlier, in moments Joyce’s eyes lost focus and a rather dirty smile crossed her lips as her mind started to fill with all the fun thoughts she wanted to do and be done, after all what was the harm.
It was all just a dream.
Blinking as he realized what he had just done Xander shifted up into a sitting position on the sofa and sent out a mental probe towards the other occupants, blinking slightly Xander smiled as he discovered Both of the Summers daughters were dreaming about him before adding slightly to the intensity and locking them into their dreams, he really didn’t want them to interrupt what was coming next.
Walking over to the couch Joyce was an image of pure seduction as she unbuttoned the top of her blouse and letting the deep red undergarments peek through before she bent over at the waist and placed her hands on her knee’s “Why Xander, what on earth are ‘you’ doing here” she purred with a smile.
Xander quickly found that his throat had closed up considerably as Joyce bent over giving him a perfect view down her shirt and teasing him unmercifully as the red wrapped breasts were highlighted by the flawless skin of Joyce’s body, he had just barely managed to gulp down the excess saliva he had produced when Joyce spoke, the smoky voice doing things to his nervous system that he never thought possible. Taking a deep shuddering breath to balance himself Xander dipped into Joyce’s mind and smiled at the fantasy she was playing out, “Well Miss Summers, I got a little banged up with Buffy and I’m trying to get the swelling down.”
Standing up and striking a dramatic shocked pose Joyce slightly covered her mouth as she gasped in phony shock, “Why Xander, ooh you must hurt ‘So’ much,” Joyce gushed before carefully stepping around the couch with a smile ‘Thankfully I was a nurse when I was younger and I learned ‘Sooo’ many ways to make you feel… better” she announced before dropping to the carpet at Xanders feet and taking a much closer look at the object of her obsession for the first time. “Ooh this is just horrible, why I am shocked, if we don’t relieve the pressure soon you might just burst, now first things first we need to get you out of those horribly restrictive clothes”
Shifting under her examination Xander unbuttoned himself and quickly pulled down his zipper to free his trapped member for the eldest summers inspection.
This time Joyce’s gasp was less than faked as Xanders member sprang free, gently wrapping her slender hand around his member Joyce pushed it back down until it was once again laying against his stomach, “Well first things first, lets see if I can kiss it and make it better.” Joyce purred before dropping her head to his lap and placing her lips to the base of his cock, Joyce spent several delicious minutes covering his member in gentle kisses as her hair tickled against his legs.
For Xander, he couldn’t quiet tell if he was in heaven or hell, the sweet torture Joyce was putting him through was one of the most amazing experiences of his life, to date both Buffy and Veruca had pleasured him orally, but that was like comparing beef jerky to Filet Mignon, Joyce was an master in the art of Oral sex and she hadn’t done anything more than some light kissing, he was almost scared of the thought of her actually going further.
Leaning back slightly Joyce cocked her head to the side and stared at the erection she held, “Aaw, that doesn’t seem to be working at all,” She said with a pout before locking eyes with him “Maybe I should kiss it all at once, what do you think?”
For a moment Xander struggled with an effort to respond before settling with nodding his head frantically, the voice in the back of his head wondered if anyone had ever been stupid enough to answer negatively to a question such as that before his mind shattered into a million pieces as Joyce opened her mouth wide and dropped her head down the entire length of his shaft, the head sinking well into her throat before she wrapped her lips tightly around the base of his cock and sucked hard as she came back up.
Xander for his part was going to explode, his back arched, his hands fisted into the sofa material and dark spots started to appear at the edge of his vision, and then that wonderfully horrible suction was gone, the cool air of the Summers living room cooled his Saliva soaked cocked as it twitched in wild need in the eldest Summers grasp, looking down at her Xander was both shocked and aroused by the pink cat’s eyes that stared back at him from the smirking Summers Matriarch.
“Well Xander, now that I have your attention I think it’s time we talked”
“Language Xander, Language” the Joyce look alike said with a smirk before dropping her head down once again and applying an intense pressure to Xander’s excited member, bobbing her head up and down the shaft a few times the female finally popped off again leaving Xander to grip the arm of the sofa tightly as she once again brought him to the edge of orgasm only to back off at the last second. “mmm, Yummy I must say Mamma wasn’t lying when she said I would enjoy myself in sex, after all those years with Hank I was beginning to think she lied to me.” Joyce said pleasantly as she slowly masturbated the young man in front of her.
“Y-your mom?” Xander mumbled out as his hips jerked spastically into the experienced woman’s hands.
“Mmmmm, Mamma always did enjoy her lovers, after leaving home I thought she was exaggerating; now I see I was just unlucky in my choices.” Joyce said as she continued to watch the range of emotions playing over her young lovers face, for a moment she hesitated before trusting her mother’s advice and pushing forward “Xander,” she said and smirked as his glazed eyed failed to focus, adding a bit more pressure Joyce pressed down hard on the member before taking him deep into her throat again and jumping off just as quickly “Xander” She cooed again to get his attention, as his eyes locked onto hers Joyce shuddered at the wild need in the young man’s eyes before she forced herself to ask the question. “Please?”
Blinking Xander felt the call from the older woman’s mind as he figured out exactly what she was begging for, reaching down Xander entwined his fingers in the elder Summers golden locks and jerked her head back roughly “So that’s it, you think to get me all excited and then blackmail me into taking you?” he snarled before giving her hair a shake “What have you done to earn me as a master?” he demanded before giving her a shove back and kneeling between her legs he held her down with one hand pressed against her toned stomach as the other drifted up her thigh and into the hidden area of her business skirt and smirked internally at the lack of undergarments he found there “Did you save yourself for your master?” he questioned before shoving a finger inside her excited pussy and frowned “No? look at that, offering me some second hand cast offs,” he growled before adding a finger “Probably lost it to some random John in a back alley,” He said cruelly as he slowly pumped his fingers into the slightly struggling older woman’s cunt, “I can’t believe some dirty whore would offer herself to me, what the fuck” Xander emphasized this word by adding another finger and burying his hand deep into the moaning woman’s sex “can you offer me to make up for your failings.”
“Anything,” Joyce gasped desperitly as she thrashed on the living room floor, “I’ll give you anything master, please.” She begged and screamed as he shoved his hand deeper into her once more.
“Really? You gave your body to someone else already, what about your home?”
“Yes” she gasped as she gripped the wrist on her stomach tightly.
“Ooh god yes,” she hissed as he added a twisting motion to his hand that started to drive her mad.
“Anything” she yelled despite her daughters being right upstairs.
“Ooh god, do you want me to hold them down for you master? anything, anything you ask I’ll do.” She screamed frantically as she bucked against his hand desperately as she sought the release she so desired.
Grinning at her response Xander felt her mind lock completely into his at her statement and jerked his hand from the sopping wet core, “I accept,” he snarled before spinning plunging his length into her, despite his stretching her she was still extremely tight around his cock and the sudden intrusion pulled a wordless scream of ecstasy from her lungs, refusing to quit as she thrashed beneath him Xander continued to thrust against the ecstatic slave that had willingly bound herself to him, for a moment he considered holding off until she answered a few questions about her eyes before shrugging the thought off and plowing deeper into her willing sex Xander set that particular issue aside for later, right now he needed to mark his property as his own.
Fortunately Buffy was so exhausted from her own adventures earlier that she slept through the entire thing, shifting only once in the night to rub herself to climax against the stuffed pig as she dreamed of the man downstairs.
Neither Xander or Joyce noticed the wide eyed stare of the younger Summers daughter as she watched her dream man violate her mother throughout the night.
The next morning Buffy was surprised to see Xander sitting happily at the breakfast table as her mom hummed a chipper tune while cooking, “Umm, what up mom?”
Turning around Joyce quickly danced over to her daughter and kissed her pleasantly on the cheek before returning to the stove “Morning Buffy, sorry for leaving you alone last night but I had to settle some issues concerning Xander’s living arrangements,” Joyce said as she went over the prescribed story that the master had come up with earlier.
Blinking at that particular statement Buffy looked between the two of them in confusion “What arrangements?” she asked as the two of them looked at each other.
“I thought you told her?” they both accused before sighing in unison.
“I’m sorry Buffy, but Xander’s parents have become rather abusive, I witnessed them actually striking Xander with a belt the other day and I’ve been working to get him emancipated and moved in here ever since, Someone was supposed to let you know during school yesterday,” Joyce said with an accusing glare before turning back to the food.
Faking an embarrassed look Xander turned his gaze towards Buffy “Yeah, Sorry Buffy I thought your mom had brought it up yesterday morning.” He said before smirking as Buffy tackled him in a hug, as he gently stroked her back as she babbled words of excitement Xander’s eyes drifted to the overly focused stare of Dawn Summers before picking up on her thoughts concerning the night before, letting loose a small portion of his powers Xander placed a block on the young woman’s mind to keep her from talking about it to anyone but himself.
It wouldn’t do for word to get out until everything was in place.
Slowly chewing the admittedly delicious meal Xander let his mind drift back to the pink eyed reaction Joyce had exhibited the night before, he was running the words she had said the night before through his mind once again when he straightened up as a petite hand rubbed his crotch softly under the table.
Swallowing his bite Xander shot a heated look at the golden haired slayer sitting beside him as she at with her left hand before shifting slightly allowing Buffy access to his button and smirking slightly as the she made quick work of his pants and fished him out of his confines and started a pleasant masturbation session right there in front of her family as she chatted pleasantly with her mother about a new shop opening in the mall.
Resisting the urge to simply throw her atop the table and fuck her brains out right there in the middle of the waffles Xander made a mental note to do that once his hold of the females had grown a bit, his mind drifted off to a mental image of Buffy covered in butter and syrup as she writhed beneath him before forcing himself back to the moment at hand as Buffy finally finished her breakfast and released his now painfully hard cock before bouncing out of the kitchen and heading upstairs with a bit of a strut followed quickly by the youngest Summers daughter as they prepared for another day at Sunnydale High.
Taking a deep breath as the two disappeared Xander smirked as Joyce bent over to load the dishwasher her skirt riding up and showing a pleasant amount of leg to his hungering gaze before he moved, not bothering to return himself to his pants Xander stood up from the breakfast counter and made his way over to the distracted Joyce and gripped her by the hips and pressed his crotch against the elder woman’s ass as she jumped in surprise.
“Shhh, we don’t want your daughters coming downstairs to see what all the commotion is do we?” he whispered into her ear as he started to grind his erection against her backside before smirking, “Although that would be a sight, Dawn and Buffy walk in with you bent over the table, my hard cock deep in the pussy that gave birth to them, they are stunned for a moment before Dawn joins us, she pulls one of the bowls off the table and waits for some cream…” Xander trailed off as his orgasm finally reached its peak, spinning the extremely excited Joyce around Xander jerked her top down before he exploded all over the gorgeous blondes breasts.
Taking a moment to slow his breathing Xander smiled at the frantic look in Joyce’s eyes, “Straighten yourself up but don’t clean up,” Xander ordered before smiling at the high pitched whine that produced from the eldest Summers girl, “You are going to spend today as the dirty little slut you are, and tonight I’ll see about letting you cum,” he explained before grabbing the older woman by the hair and jerking it back to force her head up “That means no playing with yourself until I give the order, if you’re a good slut I’ll pick you up something nice to play with”
Staring into her eyes Xander saw the first hints of pink starting in on her eyes and smirked, he may not know where it came from but he was definitely beginning to understand what it was all about.
“Don’t worry about Buffy, I’ll walk her to school.”
Waving as the Summers SUV drove past Xander enjoyed the bright morning air as he walked next to Buffy on their way to school, Nudging her slightly with his shoulder Xander let his geeky mask drop back into place “So, are you mad that I didn’t tell you about moving in?” he asked and buried the smirk at Buffy’s smile as she denied any thought of the matter, “Well good, for a minute there I thought you were trying to get me killed by your mom with your little breakfast play this morning,” Xander said before laughing “Unless of course your just a closet exhibitionist”
The sudden pulse of embarrassed lust from the golden haired Slayer almost made him stumble before he got himself from the near overload and turned to stare at her in shock, the slight darkening of her cheeks would likely have been ignored if his powers hadn’t read her. Taking her silence into account Xander wrapped his arm around the petite Slayers waist and quickly led her into an alley between two of the houses and smirked at the sudden pulse of lust he felt from his lover, Buffy was definitely an exhibitionist and was more than a little ashamed of how horny she was, the tingling sensation he had started with his saliva more than a week earlier was driving her mad and the urge to fuck him right here next to the trash was deliciously enticing to the sex mad slayer he had created.
Smirking to himself Xander pressed Buffy up against the dumpster and kissed her, his tongue dipping deep into her mouth and reinforcing the maddening tingle he had started so much earlier, for a moment the maddening feeling spiked before it ebbed to the lowest point he would allow, listening to the shorter girl moan Xander smiled before leaning back “I think someone has a secret,” Xander teased the panting slayer in his arms.
While they would be late for class neither really cared about the extra paper they were required to write.
Walking through the halls Xander clamped down on his powers, in moment the speculative looks he had been getting from most of the females, and a disturbing amount of the males faded away and he was able to move down the hall without feeling like a rabbit in a snake cage.
Rounding a corner Xander frowned as he caught sight of a red faced Willow facing down a smirking Harmony, reaching out Xander felt the cold petty mind of the youngest Kendall daughter and the enjoyment she got at other peoples pain, with less than a moments consideration Xander twisted the young girls mind in a new direction and planted a subtle command to meet him in the gym before walking off.
Stepping into the abandoned Gym Xander smiled at the lost look on the blond bimbo’s eyes as she glanced around the room in confusion “Wondering why you’re here?” he asked and grinned evilly at her slight squeak of surprise. “Well to tell you the truth I just tired of watching you strut about like you owned the place,” seeing her prepared to respond Xander dug into her mind and switched off the speech center of her brain before continuing “And while I considered a couple of possibilities for revenge they all seemed to be one sided and well to be honest kind of petty,” Xander explained before locking her movements and starting to slowly walk around the blonde.
“At first I considered fucking you, but you might like that. Then I considered turning you into a nympho and throwing you to the wolves, watching you get pregnant again and again as you are obviously too stupid to even understand how a condom works, than I considered giving you a rather dirty fetish, tomorrow everyone would walk into school to find you fucking Oliver, the Thompsons Great Dane, but looking into that tiny little skull of yours I see even that isn’t too much for you,” Xander explained before coming to a stop in front of her again “So what I’m going to do is this, you are going to help me get Willow to come out of her nice little closet shaped box, I am going to implant an obsession in your mind that will make you slowly start to worship the feet of Willow Rosenberg, today you will just want to look at her, than you will want to listen and speak, not this bitching you normally do but actually speak, soon you will want to touch her, pet her, lick her, kiss her, you will obsess over her and dream about her and she will be the only person besides myself capable of getting you off, no other being on this planet will satisfy you and you will beg us for release, I considered just making these changes and letting it happen naturally but you really are such a pathetic little thing that I don’t want you to ever think this is anything other than a punishment.” Xander snarled before unbuttoning the bitch’s pants and shoving them down.
“One final thing,” he whispered before licking his fingers and feeling the almost electrical tingle it held he reached around and rubbed his saliva soaked hand up and down Harmony’s Ass before shoving several fingers deep into her anus “That is going to be my special gift, not even Willow will be able to satisfy you there.” He growled before dismissing the voice and body lock and walking away. “Now clean yourself up and get to class.”
Anyone interested in a mildly fun games go here.
I am a part of the Authors Against Perfect Original Characters Society (AAPOCS). If you are too, copy and paste this into your profile!
If anyone is interested in getting a beta for there story. Contact me. Please.
Copy the bunnies to your profile to help them achieve world domination.
Never tell people how to do things: Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - George S. Patton
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are unconcerned by the dismal state of their education, or the fact that their fanfiction is raping the English language. If you're part of the five percent of fanfiction writers/readers who do care about such things, cut and paste this, and then leave reviews for those poor souls who know not what they do.
93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent that aren't, copy this, put it in you profile, and add your name to the list.
85 percent of writers that do Naruto fanfiction either hate fangirls, or hates Sasuke. If you are part of that 15 percent that hates both, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list: KyuubiWindscar, Banished Soul of Darkness, Kyu-kun, TheFirstHokage, Blackshadow1006, chm01
ed to critiquing fics and talking about the manga.
cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
The Ten Commandments for Technicians
1. Beware the lightning that lurketh in the un-discharged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner.
2. Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days in this earthly vale of tears be long.
3. Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded and thusly tagged lest they cause thee to make like a radiator, too.
4. Tarry not amongst those fools that engageth in intentional shocks, for surely they are non-believers and are not long for this world.
5. Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou takest the measure of a high voltage circuit lest thou incinerate both thyself and thy meter.
6. Take care thou tampereth not with safety devices and interlocks, for this incureth the wrath of thy supervisor and bringeth the fury of the safety inspector upon thy head and shoulders.
7. Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow workers will surely buy beers for thy widow and console her in other ways.
8. Service thou not equipment alone, for electrical cooking is a slothful process and thou wilst sizzle in thine own juices until thy Maker sees fit to end thy misery.
9. Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow like unto a lightning bug and thy wife have no further use for thee except thy wages.
10. Thou shalt not make unauthorized modifications to equipment, but causeth thou to be recorded all field changes and authorized modifications made by thee lest thy successor tear his hair out and go slowly mad in his attempt to decide what manner of creature hath made a nest in the wiring of such equipment.
Top 10 Reasons Why Geeks Make the Best Catch
It’s not generally realized that geeks (male and female) are the best catches. Americans focus on the glamour of the good-looking, the male jock and the statuesque female, and tend to make fun of second banana characters like Urkel. Yet, geeks (a.k.a. nerds, etc.) provide the opportunity to have much longer, more stable, and happy relationships. Here are the top ten reasons:
1. Geeks don't cheat. Geeks know that the grass only seems greener on the other side. They instinctively stay devotedly loyal to their lovers through thick and thin. Their social skills are also not well developed enough to support an affair.
2. Geeks appreciate their mates. Since you are likely to be one of the first persons a geek has ever had a significant relationship with, you will be treated well. A geek knows that there aren’t a whole lot of other possibilities. Frankly, geeks aren't quite sure how they ended up with the person they have attracted. When you date a geek, you know that geek will be yours for as long as you wish.
3. Geeks haven't formed bad relationship habits. After years of dating other people, the socially successful have become too confident to be intimate, think of partners as being only for their self-gratification, and focus on making themselves happy. None of this is true of a geek. The lack of past romantic partners allows the geek to approach lovers with the zest of a neophyte. Geeks are not full of romantic confidence. However, once encouraged, they are eager to please and enjoy their relationship.
4. Geeks are good at the things they try. Every geek has skills passionately developed over a long period of time. It could be role playing, chess, hacking, playing video games, or the ability to properly assemble a computer. So you know that geeks won't quit until they have learned how to make their relationship the best.
5. Geeks are not interested in status. Geeks became geeks because they chose to spend their time doing things that would not necessarily make them popular with everyone else in school, like sports and fashion. The ability to resist peer pressure is important to geeks. This means that a geek is more interested in your happiness than in looking good to others.
6. Geeks have imagination. Boredom is important to avoid to the game playing geek. A geek will seek new and creative ways to play, and this translates to relationships as well.
7. Geeks are happy and successful in their chosen field. No matter what their education level, geeks are able to make good incomes doing work that they enjoy. That eliminates one of the most frequent causes of relationship problems, since people who don’t like their jobs may take it out on their significant other.
8. Geeks are analytical. If they don’t get it right the first time, they look at what they did and figure out what to change. And when they DO get it right, they still keep finding ways to improve on it.
9. Geeks can concentrate. Geeks can focus their energy on one task with total intensity. Granted, the task they are focusing on may have more to do with writing new software for their Blackberry, but the fact remains that a geek, once set upon a task, tirelessly sets about to achieving a goal.
All of which means that…
10. Geeks want to be the best at what they do. So they try harder. And they never stop trying.
This was shamelessly stollen from tergar_no_konoha.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
The power of Christ compels Yea!
Sorry but I had to do that.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you believe there are not enough Yuri pairings with Naruto as a girl then copy and paste this to your profile page and add your name to the list.
VIVA LA FEMALE NARUTO YURI!! Dark_Magician_41, Demon and Angel
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile. NARUHINA FTW!! DarkSamuraiX1999
If you are an addict to Naruto and favorite couple is NaruHina then copy & paste this to your profile By Aaron Leach and DarkSamuraiX1999
If you hate NejiHina then copy & paste this into your profile By Aaron Leach and DarkSamuraiX1999
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
Heres a copy of the Fourty Nine Laws of Anime, copy it if you're a anime writer.
The 100 Laws of Anime
The laws of Anime is a growing list of physical, universal, and natural phenomenon that seem to appear in various forms in all sorts of anime. The original intent was an effort to classify these incidents into a list of "laws" that explained how Anime physics are different from our own (real?) world. It is our hope that you find them useful to studying Anime, or at the very least, worth a good chuckle.
#1) Law of Metaphysical Irregularity - The normal laws of physics do not apply.
#2) Law of Differential Gravitation - Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborne, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4. Some things have been known to "Float" for a few seconds before plummeting to hit the ground, vehicle, or someone’s cranium.
#3) Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics - In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
#4) Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion - In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
#5) Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion - The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves; Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
#6) Law of Temporal Variability - Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something "cool" or "impressive". Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
#7) First Law of Temporal Mortality – “Good Guys” and “Bad Guys” both die in one of two ways - either so quick they don’t even see it coming, OR it’s a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
#8) Second Law of Temporal Mortality - It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the “Bad Guys” are killed so quickly they don’t even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
#9) Law of Dramatic Emphasis - Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
#10) Law of Dramatic Multiplicity - Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a “Good Guy” kicks the “Bad Guy” in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
#11) Law of Inherent Combustibility - Everything explodes. Everything.
#12) Law of Phlogistatic Emission - Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
#13) Law of Energetic Emission - There is always an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy "bulge") before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.
#14) Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude - The destructive potential of any object/organism is inversely proportional to its mass.
#15) Law of Inexhaustibility - No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and/or unconscious.
#16) Laws of Inverse Accuracy - The accuracy of a “Good Guy” when operating any form of firearm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the “Bad Guys” when operating firearms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases (Also known as the Storm Trooper Effect).
#17) Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability - Minimei is a bimbo. (Note: The Minority Opposition in Ohio disagrees and thinks all men who like this stuff needs to get out more.)
#18) Law of Hemoglobin Capacity - the human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
#19) Law of Demonic Consistency - Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown, but black is not unknown, and can only be hurt by bladed weapons. Also, acid has been known to work just as well...
#20) Law of Militaristic Unreliability - Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
#21) Law of Tactical Unreliability- Tactical geniuses aren’t...
#22) Law of Inconsequential Undetectability - People never notice the little things... like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
#23) Law of Juvenile Intellectuality - Children are smarter than adults. And almost twice as annoying...
#24) Law of Americanthromorphism - Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny “Bad Guy” or a big stupid “Good Guy”.
#25) Law of Mandibular Proportionality - The size of a person’s mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
#26) Law of Feline Mutation - Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
#27) Law of Conservation of Firepower - Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used as a last resort.
#28) Law of Technological User-Benevolence - The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
#29) Law of Melee Luminescence - Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for “Good Guys” and red for “Bad Guys”. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
#30) Law of Non-Anthropomorphic Antagonism - All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
#31) Law of Follicular Chromatic Variability - Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
#32) Law of Follicular Permanence - Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone’s hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!
#33) Law of Nothingness - There is no Law #33... I think.
#34) Law of Probable Attire - Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines: Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off aforementioned female’s clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene). Whenever there is a headwind, Male characters invariably wear long cloaks that don’t hamper movement and billow out dramatically behind them.
#35) Law of Musical Omnipotence - Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more “simple things”, such examples would be like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they’ve never attempted these things before.
#36) Law of Quintupular Agglutination - Also called “The Five-man Rule”, when “Good Guys” group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
#37) Law of Extradimensional Capacitance - All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment’s notice. This mysterious dimension is commonly called "Malletspace".
#38) Law of Hydrostatic Emission - Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
#39) Law of Inverse Attraction - Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get and vice-versa.
#40) Law of Nasal Sanguination - When sexually aroused, males in Anime don’t get erections (no that occurs in H-manga sometimes), nope, they get nosebleeds. No one’s sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes mean smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don’t get nosebleeds (though it’s very rare), but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
#41) Law of Xylolaceration - Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
#42) Law of Juvenile Omnipotence - Always send a boy to do a man’s job. He’ll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
#43) Law of Triscaquadrodecophobia - There is no Law #43.
#44) Law of Nominative Clamovocation - The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced (known as the Kamehameha effect).
#45) Law of Uninterruptable Metamorphosis - Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it (unless they’re smart to try an action but then again such an action doesn’t exist much).
#46) Law of Flimsy Incognition - Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
#47) Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission - All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.
#48) Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism - If you get electrocuted or burned, YOU WILL SURVIVE! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, your skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
#49) Law of Female Wrath - If a male character insults a female character, he will get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor"). This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (Sniff, Sniff)
#50) Law of Artistic Perversion - Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter). Unfortunately, most Hentai fans are under the same impression...
#51) Law of Uninterruptable Nominative Clamovocation - This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any “Bad Guys” witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the “Dragon Slave Phenomenon”)
#52) Law of Telepathic Obliviousness - Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC! The reasons for this are:
#53) Law of Chromatic Diversity - Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54) Law of Old Man Comic Relief - Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man, alien, or the combination of any two of those traits.
#55) Law of the Wise Old Man - Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.
#56) Law of Omnipotent Unreliability - Any “Bad Guy” with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the “Good Guy” until it is too late.
#57) Law of Minimum Corneal Volume - Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blonde woman...
#58) Law of Electrical Charges in Hair - Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.
#59) Law of Ammunition Accuracy - When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paintballs, speaker pods) non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to “standard” or “lethal” shots. (Macross Plus for paintballs, Macross 7 for speaker pods)
#60) Law of Active Female Attraction - In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)
#61) Law of Sweat Pore Variability - When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single drop could fill a Big Gulp from a 7-11 shop.
#62) The Law of Inverse Training Time - A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.
#63) Law of Needs to Few and Many - The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.
#64) Law of Bad Humor - Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall. (The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)
#65) Law of Extreme Anger - Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape (see law #49).
#66) Law of Differentiated Gravitation - The following occur:
#67) Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the “Bad Guy” inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.
#68) Law of Coercive Vehicular Control - No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.
#69) Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension - In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the “Bad Guy” usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.
#70) Law of The Rushing Background Effect - Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.
#71) Law of Interdimensional Hammers - Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an interdimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (See Laws # 37, 49, and 65)
#72) Law of Instant Band-Aids - Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.
#73) Law of Universal Edge Defense - Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender (Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime).
#74) Law of Intractable Sanity - There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
#75) Law of Celestial Body Control - At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.
#76) Law of Aura of Forgetfulness - Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?
#77) Law of Cool Hair Factor - The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (see Laws 32 & 48)
#78) Law of Inverse Coping - Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.
#79) Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability - The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...
#80) Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics - If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.
#81) Law of Shades/Coolness Factor - Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.
#82) Law of Hentai Plot - The proper response to any change in the plotline of a Hentai anime is to start having sex.
#83) Law of Understatement - Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible.
#84) Law of Dormant Powers - Anytime a hero is somehow out powered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!
#85) Law of Style Coefficient - In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (See Laws #67, 69, and 84)
#86) Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor - Whenever the villain actually succeeds in beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the “Good Guy” because they’re EVIL! They usually get so cocky they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:
#87) Law of Tableware Nonexistence - There IS no spoon.
#88) Law of Goofy Turn-Ons - In Hentai, ordinary pedestrian objects sometimes have the magical power of either inducing orgasm or arousal. Some include warm water, rolling on a smooth tabletop, wind, mild electrocution, the character toweling themselves after a bath/shower, and very cold objects... like bottles of 7-up.
#89) Law of Penile Variance - All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large penis (lengths of 8, 9, 10 and 11 inches are most common). Some even have ones the size of telephone poles, despite the blood loss that would accompany it...
#90) Law of Hentai Female Characteristics - All Hentai women have the following characteristics:
#91) Law of Vaginal Variance - Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and up... completely... despite the fact that they might have a tight and/or sensitive vagina.
#92) Law of Hero Identification - All heroes are introduced by way of appearance while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.
#93) Law of Cute Mascots - Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
#94) Law of The Force - Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.
#95) Law of Naughty Tentacles - All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any human female, regardless of age ("She’s 18! No! Really, she is! I’m not lying!...")
#96) Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other, sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur.
#97) Law of Healing - Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps. (Also known as the "Priss Effect")
#98) Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics - All ships, either waterborne or spaceborne, has the following crew members:
#99) Law of Sparkles - Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks! At least, Marker Apenname seems to think so...
#100) Law of Anime Events - Much like the WWE (and other forms of Pro Wrestling), anything and everything can happen.
This was created by Insane Advocate and his two friends, as well as gatherings from various internet sources in order to help others understand the things that happen in anime (and manga). And so, to help others understand anime, after you have read this, if you wish you may copy and paste this to your profile. Thank you.
FAKE VS. REAL
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we really messed up … but that sure was fun!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget it’s yours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what’s wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!
FAKE FRIENDS: Make you say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it
Quiz: Your instincts has its advantages all the time... This is freaky as anything...DO NOT CHEAT (You'll kick yourself later.) I was a little skeptical trying this, but if you follow the instructions you'll be surprised!
We'll see tomorrow if the wish comes true. Some of the things are freakily true, but if you sit down and think about it, most of the answers are right because the way the questions are set up.
The human mind of everyone, really, it works in similar ways. Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING! This game has a funny/spooky outcome. Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try. First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.
Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!
1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.
2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.
3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.
4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.
5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)
6. Finally, make a wish. And now the key for the game...
Look at your progress
1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.
2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.
3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.
4. You care most about the person you put in 4.
5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.
6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.
7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.
8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.
9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.
10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true... If you don't it will become the opposite.
These is are great story's.
Some helpful tips to consider while writing:
-Listen to how you speak in real life. It helps.
|Focus:||General: All Categories|