W.H. Woolhat
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Joined 06-22-01, id: 84183, Profile Updated: 05-14-08
Author has written 26 stories for Discworld, X-overs, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Harry Potter, Dinotopia, Disney, Myst/Riven, and Lost.

Beware of the bead curtain-loving, lava lamp-owning, incense-burning, tie die-wearing, music-blaring, long-haired weirdo, Nezhead hippie girl! (That's me!)

Basically, I'm a 23-year-old woman from upstate NY with an intense interest in music. I play acoustic guitar and sing, and have recorded two albums. I also love to write, and have written a novel that is now available from my website, Amazon.com, and Barnes & Noble.com via LuLu. (Somerandomuser wrote a fanfic based on it called "The Party Planet". Check it out; it's in my favorites!) I've alternately been working on both fanfic and another novel, though I can't make any promises about how often I'll update the fanfic. I have to admit that writing fanfic is, at this point, more of a way to procrastinate writing original stuff. I'm having a hard time writing the novel, so there's a possibility that I'll resort to writing fanfic to distract myself. Not terribly productive, I'll admit, but at least I'm writing something!

I used to write quite a bit of Monkees fanfic, which all used to be posted here before the site policies changed. If I ever manage to post them elsewhere, I'll put a link here.

I enjoy parody and am planning to write a parody of every HP movie, which I will hopefully be able to post on my website as well as here.

When it comes to fanfic, I will pretty much dapple in whatever strikes my fancy. Sometimes I shamelessly write myself into stories, though over the years I've tried to keep away from writing Mary Sues outside of humor. However, if I want to write a story that pairs a self-based character with one of my favorite characters in a fandom, I'll probably do it!

I love writing "what makes this character tick" stories. I love getting inside the heads of other people's characters and coming up with stories that might explain why they are the way they are and why they act the way they act. Romance and angst are a big part of all of the non-humorous things that I write. Some people are made of awesome; I am made of angst, and I'm not afraid to channel it into my fics.

Latest fancies: Dan/Charlotte (Lost), anything with Desmond and Penny (also Lost), Dustfinger (Inkheart)

Fic In Progress/Sitting Around:
~ A complete parody of the second season of Lost. I probably won't end up doing any of the other seasons, but I'm amusing myself with what I have for this one so far.
~ A parody of the 5th HP film, although I haven't been feeling very funny lately. I do hope to finish it in the near future, perhaps over the summer.

PLEASE NOTE: I do not own any of the universes presented here (Hitchhiker's Guide, Discworld, etc.), nor do I own any of the characters that the authors of these universes created. HOWEVER, any characters that were created by me (i.e. Avis in "Love: Mostly Harmless") belong to me and are therefore under my copyright. If you wish to use any of these characters or post any part of any of my stories elsewhere, please e-mail me and ask for permission. Otherwise, appropriate measures will be taken. Thanks.

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Myst: The Stranger's Return by EJWeir reviews
You know how you'd get on in the Myst world... but how would Atrus and Catherine cope in ours?
Myst/Riven - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,750 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/20/2004 - Published: 1/20/2003
The We're Screwed Chronicles by Lady Kat reviews
Sirrus and Achenar go on a mission to...Riven? What is going on here? (post-Myst)
Myst/Riven - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,060 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/12/2004 - Published: 12/10/2003
Answering the Call by Shad0cat reviews
My ongoing Uru fanfiction. Updated as I play.
Myst/Riven - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,486 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 1/27/2004 - Published: 1/11/2004
Tales From The Dark Pit Of Hazelnut by apatheticauthor reviews
Pink Eye Pete tells of 3 outlandish tales from different Pepper Ann realities. PG-13 for some "scary" and disturbing things from the author's mind. R&R!
Disney - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,874 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/19/2003
The Madness That Is Talent by apatheticauthor reviews
A minor character interupts what could have been a decent Pepper Ann story with "creative talent". Which one? Read and find out! R&R is appreciated.
Disney - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,480 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/11/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sleepless reviews
An introspective Daniel finally gets up the courage to tell Charlotte how he feels.
Lost - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,165 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Published: 5/14/2008
Aftermath reviews
Two years after Colors of Grief. In the aftermath of Voldemort's fall, everyone has their demons to wrestle with. At Remus's request, Aidan returns to help Harry through his problems, but Harry is not about to make things easy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 34,053 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/4/2007 - Published: 1/20/2007 - Complete
Priorities reviews
Remus wished he had thought to ask someone about this. Short oneshot. CONTAINS DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 779 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 7/29/2007 - Remus L. - Complete
Psyche reviews
Desmond's sanity starts to fail him as he struggles to come to terms with the destruction of the hatch, becoming a member of the beach community, and his own choices regarding Penny.
Lost - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,265 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/17/2007 - Desmond - Complete
Baldemort's Return: The Complete GoF Parody reviews
A complete, beginning to end parody of the fourth Harry Potter film, in which students dice with death, the Weasleys sport mullets, and Voldemort is quite bald. T for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,141 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/9/2007 - Complete
Like Father, Like Son reviews
A year after the events of Second Chances, things are running smoothly between Sirrus and his family. But when Atrus goes missing after an exploratory trip to Spire, Catherine suspects that Sirrus somehow had something to do with it. Now complete!
Myst/Riven - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,292 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/17/2007 - Published: 9/13/2006 - Complete
Vision reviews
Desmond completely loses it after Charlie calls him a coward. Based on the Lost Moment from Nov. 15th '06, and therefore 100percent not canon.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,184 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/17/2006 - Desmond - Complete
Nights reviews
Three days after the destruction of the hatch, it begins to dawn on Desmond that you can't ever get away from some things. T for general island creepiness.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,047 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/5/2006 - Desmond - Complete
Never Quite Alone reviews
The evening of the events in Deus Ex Machina, as shown in Live Together, Die Alone. Desmond's thoughts as he contemplates suicide. T for suicidal angst and mild language.
Lost - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 797 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 9/19/2006 - Desmond - Complete
There Were Mornings reviews
A month after Kelvin's death, Desmond starts to lose touch with reality. Short oneshot.
Lost - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 605 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/18/2006 - Desmond - Complete
Second Chances reviews
Contains Myst IV spoilers! By the grace of Dream's ancient forces, Sirrus returns a year after the events of Revelation. But nothing is as he remembers it, not even himself. T for mild language. Now complete!
Myst/Riven - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,106 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/23/2006 - Published: 1/8/2006 - Complete
Back Story Abounds: The Complete CoS Parody reviews
A complete, beginning to end parody of the second Harry Potter film, in which Lockhart is far too awesome for his own good, and rigid semideath stalks the school. T for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,263 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/28/2006 - Complete
Curse of the Purple Turban: The Complete SS Parody reviews
A beginning to end parody of the first Harry Potter film, in which Quirrel's stuttering severely inhibits discussion, and most things happen 'cause of quantum. T for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,651 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Published: 3/10/2006 - Complete
A Nap reviews
Remus wonders why Tonks loves him, and a comfortable evening on the couch ensues.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,386 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/18/2005 - Remus L., N. Tonks
Innuendo Unveiled: The Complete PoA Parody reviews
A beginning to end parody of the third Harry Potter film, complete with humorous innuendo, references to other movies, and edited song and dance numbers. Annoying formatting issues are now fixed! T for language.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,911 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/17/2005 - Complete
The Bad and the Plotless reviews
Two "dramatic" scenes in which Harry deals with the return of Quirrel and with Dumbledore revealing some shocking information.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,108 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 4/12/2005
Al & Death: The Complete Adventures reviews
Death gets sucked through a vortex in the time-space continuum and ends up in the car of a college-aged girl who isn't particularly surprised to see him.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,416 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/12/2005
Between Friends reviews
Milo's stupid plan to attract Gwen Mezzrow's attention makes things awkward between Pepper Ann and Craig.
Disney - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,988 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/12/2005
Anywhere But Here: In Defense of Cyrus Crabb reviews
[Miniseries based] Cyrus Crabb's daughter has a thing or two to say to Karl and David about Dinotopia's effect on people.
Dinotopia - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,051 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/18/2005
Colors of Grief reviews
Harry becomes suicidal after Sirius's death, and Remus suggests that bringing Harry's halfbrother, a Squib who has lived with Muggles his whole life, to Grimmauld Place may help Harry come out of himself. An evil!Dumbledore story.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 29,900 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/11/2005 - Published: 1/31/2005 - Complete
Neither Beast Nor Man reviews
Remus discovers that he's not as alone in his condition as he thought. But when he starts to immerse himself in what he isn't, his life takes a turn for the worse. Marauder Era. M for scenes of violence.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 44,865 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/31/2004 - Published: 7/3/2004 - Remus L.
The Phases of the Moon reviews
Remus waxes nostalgic the day after a full moon and tells Sirius something surprising about their school days.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,207 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/14/2004
Love: Mostly Harmless reviews
Ford has been stuck on Earth for nine years with no hope of escape. Then he meets a young woman who is the first person to actually understand his plight. But will the darkness hiding in Ford's mind put a roadblock between them? Now complete!
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 19,617 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 5/30/2004 - Published: 2/23/2004 - Complete
Care of the Reaper Man reviews
Susan and Lobsang have an 18-year-old daughter, and she makes a decision that affects the whole family in ways that didn't seem possible. (Set after 'Thief of Time)
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,845 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/18/2002
Yes We're a Band, What Are You? reviews
What would it be like if the Monkees had formed in Discworld? Well, for one, there would be a great deal more axes thrown at their performances. Follow Micky, Davy, Peter, and Mike through a day in the life of the Discworld's Monkees.
X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,956 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3/4/2002 - Published: 3/3/2002
Adding Daddy reviews
Vimes reflects on something that Sybil told him in 'The Fifth Elephant'...and you don't have to have read the book to get it.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/3/2001