Lycoris Calantha
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Joined 07-08-05, id: 850158, Profile Updated: 12-31-09
Author has written 30 stories for Pokémon, Saiunkoku Monogatari, Naruto, Fruits Basket, Chrono Crusade, Tenshi Ja Nai!!, Fullmetal Alchemist, Shonen Onmyouji, Digimon, House, M.D., Vampire Knight, Kamichama Karin, S.A, MeruPuri, Darker than BLACK, Gakuen Alice, and Pandora Hearts.

Well, I'm warning you now that my profile is ridiculously long. If ever you want to skip it, I think there's a hide bio in the upper right of the page.

NOTE: Four of my stories are now up for adoption if anyone is so inclined to take them. However, I know that they are far from top-notch and I shouldn't expect any takers. The official excuse is a virus caused the loss of all my files and I couldn't remember what I wanted to do with the story anymore. I think I posted it up in my profile before, but I deleted it. Anyways, I could delete my story, but I've only ever done that once because it was so OOC of the character I tried it out on and thought it would better suit another fandom. So the stories are staying, whether anyone reads them or not, and I want to say thank you to anyone who reads this, and I hope you understand.

Name: 'Twilight's Truth' is no longer my user-name. It is now 'Lycoris Calantha', which, technically, should mean 'Twilight Lovely Blossom'. The two words are both Greek names so... Well... I'd been thinking of changing my name for a while. Anyhow, the reason I like this name is because 'lycoris' is a flower. It's a genus of the family Amaryllidaceae, the same family as the amaryllis. Also known as spider lily, and in Chinese, 石蒜属 shi suan shu, and in Japanese, ヒガンバナ属. So yeah, at least I'm consistent. And I research. A lot.

Gender: I'm telling you I'm a girl, but mostly because it's pretty obvious and no one cares.

Age: I'm legally here... now.

Location: It's pretty obvious now. Please check the little flag up there.

Hobby: Reading, Numerology. (Don't forget making my younger cousin and brother cower in fear!), I guess, sketching... Painting... Stalking books, looking for typos…

About Me:

Thankfully, I have managed to develop an imagination as of School Year 2005-2006, thank you very much. I’m proudly weird, random, and seem to have an uncanny obsession with falling in love with hopeless pairings. I’m serious. Considering my list is pretty extensive and incomplete...

Yes, I can diss about 90 percent of my Animé pairing list. Effectively.

I am sarcastic. Yes, I am. I like being high, too. I am impulsive and I don’t love school. Get it? In other sites, I am known as Lycoris, LycorisCalantha, Lycoris Calantha, AmberFire284, or in Neopets, megumiminami.

Oh, I also have this funny thing when it comes to reading. I read in no particular order. Example: The Gemma Doyle Trilogy. I read Book 2, Rebel Angels. I haven't read the first and I am blatantly ignoring the existence of the third.

As an Author:

Okay, I prefer writing oneshots, I’ve never gotten a request, but would welcome an opportunity. I also occasionally write using a cellphone. I love feedback and want to improve my writing skills. I am also random, but I notice that I’m getting more serious. I think. I will finish my stories eventually unless I have specifically stated otherwise, and I dislike plagiarism. I accept criticism, even constructive criticism. It helps me, really.

Oh. ON FLAMES. I will accept criticism, and as an advocate of free speech, I shall accept if I get flames. But remember, Flames is fire. And fire is NOTHING to the fire extinguisher. And a fire extinguisher makes for a good heavy projectile. And I'll be working om my aim. So you will choke on carbon dioxide and suffer a braining via fire extinguisher. Okay?

Favorite Pairings: (Yeah, I've got so many, I lose track of them... You know... I forgot some again...) And yeah, I know it's massive. (and yes, a font style change DOES mean a different animé.)

Athrun X Cagalli
Dearka X Miri
Shinn X Stellar
Shinichi X Ran
Heiji X Kazuha
Ren X Pirika
Yoh X Anna
Eriol X Tomoyo
Syaoran X Sakura
Tamahome X Miaka
Van X Hitomi
Ruka X Hotaru
Natsume X Mikan

Tsubasa X Misaki
Edward X Winry
Roy X Riza
Alphonse X Mei
Sano X Rinko
Ryuuki X Shuurei
Eigetsu X Kourin

Sousuke X Kaname

Kyu X Meg
Miroku X Sango
Ranma X Akane
Daisuke X Riku
Satoshi X Risa
Chrno X Rosette
Takeru X Hikari
Taichi X Sora
Train X Eve
Sasuke X Sakura
Neji X Tenten
Naruto X Hinata
Shikamaru X Temari
Shirou X Saber
Archer X Rin
Pete X Tazusa
Ash X Misty
Drew X May
Wallace X Winona
Shannon X Pacifica
Chris X Winnia
Kanata X Miyu
Tsujiai X Nina
Testsushi X Ayu

Kyo X Tohru
Shigure X Akito
Hiro X Kisa
Beet X Poala
Kissu X Milfa

Tsukune X Moka
Mashiro X Akiko
Guren X Kouchin
Genbu X Taiin
Rikugou X Kazane
Suzaku X Tenitsu
Izumi X Hikaru
Zero X Yuuki
Shiki X Rima

Kindaichi X Miyako
Rain X Machika
Eury X Ayla
Kazune X Karin
Micchi X Kirika
Jin X Himeka
Aram X Airi
Coud X Ren
Kio X Juline

Video Games:
Roxas X Namine
Keele X Meredy
Kite X BlackRose

Perrin X Faile
Edward X Bella
Bobby X Loor

Artemis X Minerva
Kartik X Gemma

Sebell X Menolly
Most pairings in 'Dragonriders of Pern'
Alex X Rosie

My stand on yaoi:

Right, I barely tolerate it. It actually took me three years to get this point. Which is the point where I get kicks from reading it sometimes. Mostly I prefer the friendly relationship. Like Shuuei and Kouyuu. Which was just plain funny. Apparently, Shuuei was talking to Kouyume while unconscious through the birds. Mostly pissing Kouyuu off and singing irritating songs... And I just laugh at YuuFram. But that's it. Except for the fact that my friends and I prefer NaruSasu than NaruSaku, but don't read either on a regular basis.

Memorable Quotes... Or lines...

My Quotes:

'I'm in denial over a lot of things. But one thing I'm not in denial about is the fact that I am in denial'

'I learned something! Never laugh at an office. It's embarassing.' -Don't ask. Just DON'T.

'I've seen the light! ... And it's shiny...'

'I'm going shopping, with a loaf of bread and a bag of fertilizer. Made of coffee. And it smells like bacon. I feel so prepared.'

'You know, I should have reported on spontaneous combustion. Then teacher wouldn't think I was talking about gas chambers'

'Don't forget your sister!'

'Hip people don't say hip.'

'If you don't want your pants to catch on fire... wear a skirt.'

"I know you may not care about manners and ethics since this is just a game, but I wish to torment your conscience anyways."

I believe in Karma. And I wouldn't be surprised if it had rabies. And I'm sic-ing it on you.

Merry Summer! (Happy is overrated. Happy birthday, holidays, new year, valentines...)

The most current dream I vividly remember is of two cats, with their tails tied together, taking turns bungee-jumping off my school roof. And bouncing.

The books are caaaaaaaaalling me!

My Friends:

'Oooh, SHINY.'

'Yeah, isn't the nudist colony, eh?'

Other People I Know or Have Encountered Saying:

'I make things complicated to my students and they don't make things complicated for me. It's how I have fun with my work.' - My substitute teacher. Really.


“Don’t lose faith. Only faith can heal the world’s brokenness where even glue guns fail. Faith can move mountains. Don’t ask me how though…but it DOES! In fact, I encourage you to come back to the path of faith and not lose sight of the light! The great white light! The light that is brighter than my own lightbulb!” She raised her arms solemnly. “Repent, Sir Neji! The end is near! Repent, faithless child of light gone dim!” - Tenten (About a Daddy and a Nanny by syaoran no hime)

"Each man is a pilgrim unto himself, and has only his heart to guide him through this dark, tumultuous world. Without it, we are lost. And then we are men no longer, but blind animals." - Ishidan proverb, cc. 100 AS. Origins unknown. (Pilgrimage by TK Takaishi. Second out of three fics that are seriously awesome. It's practically a book all by itself which are well written, have good plot and etcetera.)

"The stand-masters were powerful because they had stands. But the true strength of the Stand-Masters did not lie in the steel of their swords or the bite of their blades. Instead, it came in their courage, it grew with their compassion, and it was tempered by their wisdom. It was rooted in their steadfast hope for an Age of Peace and their unassailable belief in the Good of Men. That was their strength." - unknown historian, cc. 200 AS. Chronicles of Gaea (Same.)


'When life give you lemons, make apple juice and let them wonder how you did it." -skilled-like-a-ninja's profile...

'Life is like a haircut. Some are long, some are short. Some are good, some are bad... and some people really need to get one.' - Same here...

"Takari is like macaroni, you need cheese to complete it!" -sunflowers.

Quotes I Found Randomly:

'If you don't want your pants to catch on fire... don't lie.' - Saw it... somewhere

'The early bird catches the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.' - same

'Behind every great man is a woman who's about to pass him.' -a shirt. Nike. I think.

'Forget about love, I'd rather fall in chocolate!' - I forgot...

To the tune of Ode to Joy (Inuyasha):
Asoko ni mieru wa Shikon no hikari
Kakera ni dattemo iyoku wa onaji
Ningen ni mo youkai ni mo jiwajiwa kiite
Jirai mo koete mo daichi o terasu.

Out there you can see the Shikon's light
The objective for the shards is the same
Confiding in humans and youkai alike
Now traversing the earth in search of them


House MD:

Dr. House: Everybody lies.
Dr. Cameron
: Dr. House doesn't like dealing with patients.
Dr. Foreman
: Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
Dr. House
: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.

Dr. House: When did my signature get so girly?
Dr. Cameron: I can explain.
Dr. House: See that "G," see how it makes a big loop on top? It doesn't even look like my handwriting. Think I have something? What's the differential diagnosis for writing 'Gs' like a junior high school girl?

Dr. Foreman: No neurologist in his right mind would recommend that.
Dr. House
: Show of hands: who thinks I'm not in my right mind? (nobody moves) And who thinks I forget this very basic neurological fact? (nobody moves again) Who thinks there's a third option?
Dr. Chase raises his hand

Dr. House
: Very good. What's the third choice?
Dr. Chase
: No idea. You just asked if I thought there was one.

Dr. House: to the crowd in the walk-in clinic's waiting area Hello, sick people and their loved ones! In the interest of saving time and avoiding a lot of boring chitchat later, I'm Doctor Gregory House; you can call me "Greg." I'm one of three doctors staffing this clinic this morning.
Dr. Cuddy: Short, sweet, grab a file.
Dr. House: This ray of sunshine is Doctor Lisa Cuddy. Doctor Cuddy runs this whole hospital, so unfortunately she's much too busy to deal with you. I am a board (emphasized to sound like 'bored').. .certified diagnostician with a double specialty in infectious disease and nephrology. I am also the only doctor currently employed at this clinic who is forced to be here against his will.
House turns to face Dr. Cuddy.
Dr. House: That is true, isn't it?
He turns back to the crowd.
Dr. House: But not to worry, because for most of you, this job could be done by a monkey with a bottle of Motrin. Speaking of which, if you're particularly annoying, you may see me reach for this: this is Vicodin. It's mine. You can't have any. And no, I do not have a pain management problem, I have a pain problem. But who knows? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm too stoned to tell. So, who wants me? nobody moves And who would rather wait for one of the other two guys?
Everybody raises their hands.
Dr. House: Okay. Well, I'll be in Exam Room One if you change your mind.

Dr. House: No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is, in fact, a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every twenty feet between love and hate.

Dr. House: This is our fault. Doctors over-prescribing antibiotics. Got a cold? Take some penicillin. Sniffles? No problem. Have some azithromycin. Is that not working anymore? Well, got your Levaquin. Antibacterial soaps in every bathroom. We'll be adding vancomycin to the water supply soon. We bred these superbugs. They're our babies. And they're all grown up and they've got body piercings and a lot of anger.

Jill: My joints have been feeling all loose, and lately I've been feeling sick a lot. Maybe I'm over training; I'm doin' the marathon, like, ten miles a day, House looks tired but I can't seem to lose any weight.
Dr. House
: Lift up your arms.
she does so

Dr. House
: You have a parasite.
: Like a tapeworm or something?
Dr. House
: Lie back and lift up your sweater.
she lies back, and still has her hands up

Dr. House
: You can put your arms down.
: Can you do anything about it?
Dr. House
: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
he starts to ultrasound her abdomen

: Illegal?
Dr. House: Don't worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
: Playdates?
Dr. House
: shows her the ultrasound It has your eyes.

Dr. House: Get up. We're going hunting.
Dr. Foreman
: For what?
Dr. House
: Wabbits.

Dr. House: Your husband is definitely the source of your 'mono'.
: Oh, wow. Oh, thank God. Wow, I'm going to be a mom. Whoa, heh heh. Thank you so much; I gotta get you a gift or something.
Dr. House
: Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again.
: Okay, all right! But, Dr. House, you've been so awesome. I mean, I really, totally trust you. Do you think you —
Dr. House
: No.
: — could you do the prenatal?
Dr. House
: No.
: Or deliver the baby?
Dr. House
: That would be no.
: Okay!

Dr. House: See, this is why I don't waste money on shrinks, cause you give me all these really great insights for free.
Dr. Cuddy: smiling Shrink. If you would consider going to a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake.

Dr. House: You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to get you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the street, I know you look both ways.

Dr. Chase: Referring to Dr. House He likes crazy people. He likes the way they think.Dr. Foreman: They think...badly. That's the definition of...crazy.Dr. Chase: They're not boring. He likes that.
Lucas Palmero: This is a good hospital?
Dr. House
: Depends what you mean by 'good'. looks around I like these chairs.

Dr. House: Good morning, Dr. Cuddy! Love that outfit. Says, I’m professional, but I’m still a woman. Actually, it sorta yells the second part.
Dr. Cuddy
: Yeah, and your big cane is real subtle too.
Dr. House
: (Leaving quickly) Gotta Go.

Dr. House: Ah, my birthday. Normally I'd put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn't think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn't the little planet that could all over again.

Dr. House: Fever. Clinical depression does not cause fever.
Dr. Foreman: She could be sick and depressed?
Dr. House: She's sick! Dammit, why didn't I think of that?

Dr. Cuddy: about House and Wilson examining a busty patient It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath? What, do the complications increase exponentially with cup size?

Dr. House: As long as you're trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
Dr. Wilson
: And as long as you're not trying, you can say whatever you want.
Dr. House
: So between us, we can do anything. We can rule the world!

Cameron is in the lab working on some equipment
Dr. House
: Mixing up some margaritas? Mine's a double, Senorita. That's Portuguese you know.
Dr. Cameron: too quietly Spanish.
Dr. House
: Uh-oh. What's going on?
Dr. Cameron: I'm re-calibrating the centrifuge.
Dr. House
: Turn around.
She does, and she's obviously been crying.

Dr. House
: It's a very sad thing, an un-calibrated centrifuge. It makes me cry too.
Dr. Cameron
: I'm not crying.
Dr. House
: Ok.
Dr. Cameron: When I was in college, I... I fell in love, and I got married. And...
Dr. House
: At that age the chances of a marriage lasting...
Dr. Cameron
: It lasted six months. Thyroid cancer metastasized to his brain. There was nothing they could do. I was 21, and I watched my husband die.
Dr. House
: I'm sorry. But that's not the whole story. It's a symptom, not your illness. Thyroid cancer would have been diagnosed at least a year before his death, you knew he was dying when you married him. Must have been when you first met him. And you married him anyway. You can't be that good a person and well adjusted.
Dr. Cameron
: Why?
Dr. House
: Because you wind up crying over centrifuges.
Dr. Cameron
: Or hating people?

Georgia: So I watched it. And it had this actor in it. This kid called Ashton Kutcher. Now, I think about Ashton all the time. All the time.
Dr. House: Aha.
Georgia: You remind me of him. Same bedroom eyes.
Dr. House: People are always mixing us up.

Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his AP calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented.
Dr. House: That's the way calculus presents.

Dr. House: I assume 'minimal at best' is your stiff upper lip British way of saying "no chance in hell."
Dr. Chase: I'm Australian.
Dr. House: You put the Queen on your money; you're British.

Dr. House: I, Margo Davis, have been informed of the risks which may arise from my refusal of advised medical care. I hereby release—
Margo: Who are you?
Dr. House: I work for the hospital. —the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, its employees agents, and otherwise from any adverse medical conditions resulting from my refusal. It is not the hospital's fault if my son kicks off.
Margo: Kicks off?
Dr. House: I punched up the language, mostly for clarification. I understand my doctors consider my decision to be completely idiotic—
Margo: Why are you doing this?
Dr. House: —but I am convinced that I know more than they do, I took a biology course in high school. I assume that's... yeah. Besides, I enjoy controlling every single aspect of my son's life, even if it means his death. Sign here, please. I brought a pen.
Margo: Who are you?
Dr. House: I'm the doctor who's trying to save your son. You're the mom who's letting him die. Clarification: it's a beautiful thing.

Dr. Wilson: Reading a poem Georgia left for Dr. House "The healer with his magic powers/I could rub his gentle brow for hours/His manly chest, his stubbled jaw/Everything about him leaves me raw—"
Dr. House: Psych ward's upstairs.
Dr. Wilson: "—with joy. Oh, House your very name / Will never leave this girl the same." It's not bad for an 82-year-old. She asked me to give that to her true love.
Dr. House: What can I say? Chicks with no teeth turn me on.
Dr. Wilson: That's fairly disgusting.
Dr. House: That's ageism.
Dr. Wilson: You better watch yourself around this babe.

Dr. House: to Georgia I'm sorry, but the fact that the sexual pleasure center of your cerebral cortex has been over-stimulated by spirochetes is a poor basis for a relationship. Learned that one the hard way.

Dr. House: DNR means Do Not Resuscitate. It does not mean Do Not Treat!

Dr. House: Like I always say, there's no "I" in "team." There is a "me," though, if you jumble it up.

Dr. Foreman: You assaulted that man.
Dr. House: Fine. I'll never do it again.
Dr. Foreman: Yes, you will.
Dr. House: All the more reason this debate is pointless.

Dr. Wilson: You know how some doctors have the Messiah complex - they need to save the world? You've got the "Rubik's" complex; you need to solve the puzzle.

Dr. Wilson: So your philosophy is, 'If they don't want treatment, they get it shoved down their throat, but if it might cure their paralysis, whoa, better slow down.'
Dr. House: Yeah. My old philosophy used to be 'Live and let live,' but I'm taking this needlepoint class and they gave us these really big pillows.

House is walking out of the hospital after curing John Henry, he pops a pair of Vicodin as he walks up behind him
John: Dr. House.
Dr. House: You're being released?
John: I have a limo waiting outside.
Dr. House: I bet I can beat you to the car.
John laughs
Dr. House: You seem much more easily amused when you can walk.
John: What a surprise. pause I want you to have this. hands him his trumpet
Dr. House: Wow...
John: You can sell it if you'd like, probably fetch a good price on eBay. Just promise me you won't play.
Dr. House: Thank you.
John: pointing at House's Vicodin bottle So how many of those pills are you taking?
Dr. House: I'm in pain.
John: chuckles Yeah... aren't we all?
they walk towards the door
John: So where do you get these things? Do they have cane stores?
Dr. House: Don't worry, you'll be jogging before you need another one

Dr. House: breaking up an argument between Dr. Wilson and Dr. Foreman Okay, you two! Grab some scalpels and settle this like doctors.

Student: You're reading a comic book.
Dr. House: And you're calling attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top.
the student covers her chest with her clipboard
Dr. House: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest. I'm competitive by nature.

House is snooping through Wilson's file to try finding out why Wilson is insisting on a homeless woman being treated
Dr. Wilson: You know, in some cultures, it's considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another. Of course, in Swedish, the word "friend" can also be translated as "limping twerp."
House's pager starts beeping
Dr. Wilson: Did your pager really just go off, or are you ditching the conversation?
Dr. House: Why can't both be true?

Dr. Chase: You're joking.
Dr. House: Well, hard not to - nothing funnier than cancer.

House is looking at a comic drawn by a patient, using clues to figure out her identity
Dr. House: Philadelphia. Look at that skyline. It's very evocative. The Chrysler Building.
Dr. Foreman: That's a cloud.
Dr. Cameron: And the Chrysler Building's in New York.
Dr. House: Eh, I'm getting Philly. And that cactus, well, that's a smashed car? Car accident!
Dr. Cameron: A cactus in Philly?
Dr. House: Water? to Wilson Well, water's October, right?
Dr. Wilson: Obviously.
Dr. House: The page number's 22, so that's October 2nd, 2002. Ergo, the patient was in a car accident two years ago last October.
Dr. Wilson: My goodness! Was she okay?
Dr. House: Broke her arm, I think. And they fixed it, with this.
holds up surgical pin from the patient's arm
Dr. House: Surgical pin. Better than a wallet. Serial number, in case you recall, are tied to a patient's name.

Dr. House: Tell me what happened.
Police Officer: Read the report! I found her laying on the grass.
Dr. House: No, tell me what really happened.
Police Officer: Well since it's you- I found her laying on the grass.
Dr. House: Thats a cool gun you've got.
Police Officer: It's not a gun, it's a taser.
Dr. House: Ooh, it's so cool. What does it do? Fire 60000 volts.. mm, thats what it would take to jack someone's heart up to 150.
Police Officer: Okay.. okay, lets just say I tell you what happened, but let's make this between you and me, right?
Dr. House: Mmm.
Police Officer: I found her laying. On. The. Grass.
Dr. House: Okay, fine, you don't tell me. How about you tell my friend Ben Franklin. waves 100 bill
The officer stares at him
Dr. House: I watch a lot of cop shows.

Dr. Cuddy: You know, there are other ways to manage pain.
Dr. House: Like what, laughter? Meditation? Got a guy who can fix my third chakra?

House barges into the operating theater without scrubbing down.
Dr. House: Stop the gasses.
Dr. Hourani: What the hell are you doing, House?!
Dr. House: Saving a sixteen year old kid from a lifetime of immunosuppressant drugs and a very nasty scar. This kid does not have lupoid hepatitis. He has acute naphthalene toxicity.
Dr. Hourani: Naphthalene? You're talking about mothballs?
Dr. House: Nope. Termites, which produce naphthalene to protect their nest, which I'm assuming is fairly large and in all four walls of his bedroom at home.
Dr. Hourani: And your assumption is based on…what?
Dr. House: The autopsy I just conducted on his pet cat.
Dr. Hourani: Call Cuddy. And security.
Dr. House: You're not removing that kid's liver.
Dr. Hourani: Now!
House retches and spits on Hourani.
Dr. Hourani: GAH! Have you COMPLETELY lost your mind?!
Dr. House: No, but I've been feeling sick lately.
House sneezes onto some tissue and drops it next to the surgery tools, then leaves without waiting for a response.
Anesthesiologist: There's no way we can do this surgery now.
Dr. Hourani: You think?!

House has just admitted he is addicted to Vicodin.
Dr. House: I said I was an addict, I didn't say I had a problem. I pay my bills, I make my meals. I function.
Dr. Wilson: That all you want? You have no relationships.
Dr. House: I don't want any relationships.
Dr. Wilson: You alienate people.
Dr. House: I've been alienating people since I was three.
Dr. Wilson: Oh, come on! Drop it! You don't think you've changed over the last few years?
Dr. House: Well, of course I have. I've gotten older. My hairs got thinner. Sometimes I'm bored. Sometimes I'm lonely. Sometimes I wonder what it all means.
Dr. Wilson: No. I was there. You are not just some regular guy who's getting older. You've changed! You're miserable! And you're scared to face yourself-
Dr. House: slams his cane on the shelf OF COURSE I'VE CHANGED!
Dr. Wilson: pause And everything's the leg? Nothing's the pills?
Dr. House: They let me do my job. And they take away my pain.

Dr. House: His liver is shutting down.
Father: What? What does that mean?
Dr. House: Means he's all better, he can go home.
Father: What?
Dr. House: What do you think it means? He can't live without a liver, he's dying.
Father: What is your problem?
Dr. House: Bum leg, what's yours?

Pharmacist: Okay, pharmaceuticals were delivered this morning, but shipping accidentally sent the box with Vicodin to research.
Dr. House: Hmmm. That's a tough one. If only we had some way to communicate with another part of the building.
He picks up the phone.

Dr. Cuddy: You're addicted.
Dr. House: If the pills ran my life, I'd agree with you, but it's my leg busy calendaring what I can't do.

Dr. House: I take risks; sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die, so I guess my biggest problem is I've been cursed with the ability to do the math.

Dr. House: Now why would a guy in his twenties have a poor kidney?
Dr. Cameron: Cancer. It first attacks the bones, and then the kidneys.
Dr. House: Come on, people!
Pulls out Hank's baseball card
Dr. House: He was 17 and 7! His ERA was 2.10!
Dr. Cameron: You want it to be his kidneys, because if it's his kidneys, then maybe we can treat it, maybe we can fix it. And if it's cancer, then he'll never pitch again. If this were a regular guy who came in and broke his arm lifting a box, you would've packed him up and sent him home!
Dr. House: My God, you're right, I lost my head. All life is equally sacred. And I promise you, the next knitting injury that comes in here, we're on it like stink on cheese.

Patient #3: I can't get my contact lenses out-
Dr. House: Out of what? They're not in your eyes.
Patient #3: But they're red.
Dr. House: That's because you're trying to remove your corneas.moves to next patient What's wrong with you?
Patient #4: Uh, lately, my wife has noticed that...
Dr. House: Yeah, yeah. Symptoms, gestures at Cuddy we're working on a personal best here.
Patient #4: Numbness in my feet and hands, constipation...
Dr. House: And?
Dr. Cuddy: Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable talking about his private matters...
Dr. House: Well, neither would I, if I was having trouble controlling my pee pee!
to patient
Dr. House: You're a dentist. Nitrous oxide poisoning, which means you're either dipping into your own supply, or you've got a bad valve in the office. Laughing gas rehab's probably more expensive than the plumber. Meanwhile, get yourself some B12.
moves to college student
Dr. House: Who's left?
College Student: I can't see. House and Cuddy look appalled Nah, I'm just screwing with you. House looks at Cuddy, who smiles It's a hangover, my English Lit professor told me he'd fail me next time if I didn't show up with a doctor's note.
Dr. House: Well, make friends with the dentist. He can give you a note, and maybe a little nitrous to take the edge off.
he looks at the clock and walks out

Lola: You got a big "Keep Out" sign stapled on your forehead.
Dr. House: That explains it, I told them to put it on my door.
Lola: Even if real human contact is something you don't have or even want or need, you should at least be able to see it in other people.
Dr. House: Yeah. Right. True love. That's just how we match organs these days. There's a couple in France, high school sweethearts - they're trading brains.

Dr. House: What, you're saying I've only got one friend?
Dr. Wilson: Uh, and who…?
Dr. House: Kevin, in Bookkeeping.
Dr. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name's Carl.
Dr. House: I call him Kevin. It's his secret "friendship club" name.

Dr. Cameron: Would you give up a baby for someone you love?
Dr. House: Please tell me I don't have to decide. Depends, how long would they live?
Dr. Cameron: Is this a pragmatic question for you?
Dr. House: Fifty years, no problem. Six months, I say let 'em die. Well, I've actually given this a lot of thought, and my personal tipping point is seven years, eight months, and 14 days.

Lola: He drops clean urine, denies using steroids, and you're giving him a drug for what, steroid abuse?
Dr. House: No, no, it's not. No, it's got calcium in it. It's very good for the bones. Basically, at a molecular level, it's just milk.
Lola leaves
Dr. House: to Wilson How long do you figure before I get a call from Cuddy?

Dr. Cuddy: You put him on Lupron.
Dr. House: Uh-huh.
Dr. Cuddy: And, you told them it was like milk.
Dr. House: Yes.
Dr. Cuddy: Is there any way in which that is not a lie?
Dr. House: It's creamy. But, I had three reasons.
Dr. Cuddy: Good ones?
Dr. House: Well, we'll see in a minute; I'm just making them up now.

Dr. Cuddy: Twelve year old male, spiking fever, congested chest, coughing up green sputum, shortness of breath, pain in breathing...
Dr. House: Baffling, though I vaguely recall a disease called moonomia...noo-mania...?
Dr. Cuddy: But his test showed an atypical pattern for pneumonia.
Dr. House: Pneumonia! That's the one!

Dr. Chase: How would you feel if I interfered in your personal life?
Dr. House: I'd hate it. That's why I cleverly have no personal life.

Jeffrey Reilich: You're treating him for both diseases?
Dr. Foreman: Covering all the bases.
Jeffrey Reilich: What, throw everything against the wall and see what sticks?
Dr. Chase: Works for spaghetti.
Everyone stares at him

Dr. Cuddy: Just enlarged hilar lymph nodes.
Dr. House: Tiny unicorns goring his bronchial tubes would be cooler.

Dr. House: Haven't done the MUGA.
Dr. Wilson: Then how do you know she needs a heart transplant?
Dr. House: I got my aura read today. It said someone close to me had a broken heart.

about Vogler being appointed board chairman of the hospital
Dr. Cameron: That's not necessarily bad news.
Dr. Foreman: Do you ever watch "Gilligan's Island" reruns and really, really think they're going to get off the island this time?

Dr. House: You value our friendship more than your ethical responsibilities.
Dr. Wilson: Our friendship is an ethical responsibility.

Dr. House: Need the lawyer.
Vogler: Who'd you kill?
Dr. House: Nobody, but it's not even lunch.

Dr. House: We're a bit of a specialized hospital. We generally only deal with patients when they're actually sick.

Dr. Foreman: You thought he was being poisoned by hemlock? Dr. Euripides tell you to check for that?

Dr. Cameron: I don't have the right to show interest in someone?
Dr. Foreman: You absolutely do, and I absolutely have the right to humiliate you for it.

Bill: You wanna get hit, too?
Dr. House: That would be quite a trick. "He slapped me so hard his brother turned straight."
Bill: Joey is not gay.
Dr. House: Maybe not gay. But certainly delightful. And hitting a doctor. Even if it was only Chase... and then asking another to keep his chart fresh and homo free.

Dr. House: That's what I love about you mob guys: so tolerant of others, so accepting. Only way he was coming out was way, way out. Lose the tattoos, change his name, move to another town; how's a guy like him going to do that? Witness protection. It's not just for witnesses any more.

Dr. House: He's a thirty year old mobster. He doesn't have an occupation that results in accidental exposure to toxins. He has a job that results in intentional exposure to toxins. Someone's poisoned him.

Lucille: It's really bad, especially at night. It's like my heart is on fire, like it's, uh, oh, I don't know, like it's...
Dr. House: Burning?
Lucille: Exactly!
Dr. House: Hmm, sounds almost like heartburn.
Lucille: So, can you give me something?
Dr. House: Like a thesaurus?

Lucille: I'm not pregnant.
Dr. House: Sorry, you don't get to make that call unless you have a stethoscope. Union rules.

Lucille: This, is what a woman is supposed to look like. We're not just skin and bones - we have flesh. We have curves.
Dr. House: You have little people inside you.

Dr. House has been told to fire one of his doctors
Dr. House: I'm thinking I can convince Vogler it would be more cost-efficient to let me keep all of them.
Dr. Wilson: Yeah, you should be able to pull that off. Most billionaires aren't very good with numbers.
Dr. House: It will be more cost-efficient once I've grabbed Cameron's ass, called Foreman a spade, and Chase, well, I can grab his ass, too.
Dr. Wilson: You are uniquely talented in many areas, but office politics is not one of them.

Dr. House: Figures you'd try and come up with a solution where no one gets hurt. The problem is, the world doesn't work that way just 'cause you want it to.
Dr. Cameron: Figures you'd stall and refuse to deal with the issue. Problem is, the world doesn't go away just because you want it to.

Dr. House: Physician-patient confidentiality protects me from annoying conversations.

Lucille: I'll have a huge scar. I won't be able to wear a bikini.
Dr. House: You wear a bikini now?
Lucille: Yeah, you got a problem with that?
Dr. House: Nope. I've never gone swimming with you.

Dr. House: He didn't have any reason to lie.
Dr. Wilson: Everybody lies... except politicians? House, I believe you're a romantic. You didn't just believe him - you believed in him. You want to come over tonight and watch old movies and cry?

Dr. Wilson: I have no kids, my marriage sucks... I only got two things that work for me: this job and this stupid screwed up friendship, and neither mattered enough for you to give one lousy speech.
Dr. House: They matter... If I could do it all again—
Dr. Wilson: —you'd do the exact same thing.
House nods

Dr. House: I saw the light on.
Dr. Cameron: It's daytime.
Dr. House: Yeah. It's a figure of speech. Always so literal.
Dr. Cameron: Got a new cane.
Dr. House: Yeah. Guy in the store said it was slimming. Vertical stripe...
Dr. Cameron: Why are you here?
Dr. House: Vogler is dead.
Dr. Cameron: What? What happened?
Dr. House: Again with the literal translation. Vogler the idea. Mr. Destructo. Mr. Money Bags, "Bow down before me"; he's gone from the hospital, so things can go back to the way they were.
Dr. Cameron: The way they were was kinda weird.
Dr. House: Ehh...weird works for me.
Dr. Cameron: What are you saying? Literally?
Dr. House: I want you to come back.
Dr. Cameron: Why?
House's beeper goes off, Cameron crosses her arms
Dr. House: Please unclench. You're not on the clock, and when you do that, I clench, and then it's the whole thing...
Dr. Cameron: Could you look at your pager?
he does
Dr. House: It's no big deal, some sort of epidemic. Not my area.
Dr. Cameron: You should go, it's important.
Dr. House: What I'm doing now is important.
Dr. Cameron: Why do you want me back?
Dr. House: Because you're a good doctor.
Dr. Cameron: That's it?
Dr. House: That's not enough?
Dr. Cameron: Not for me. Go deal with your plague.
she shuts the door in his face

Dr. House: Hey! You're killing her!
Vogler: Really? See, I thought you were the one trying to ram her into a drug trial-
Dr. House: She knows the risks! She was fully informed!
Vogler: Well the guy running the study sure wasn't.
Dr. House: Not his life, not his call!
Vogler: His study, his call!
Dr. House: Right, so she kicks off, his numbers look bad!
Vogler: The numbers look bad, the study looks bad.
Dr. House: Which would cost you money.
Vogler: Yeah, and keep a life-saving protocol off the market.
Dr. House: One person, one blip in the data!
Vogler: You ever heard of the FDA? They eat blips for breakfast! One person should never endanger thousands!
Dr. House: Well thank God you were here to save all those lives!

Dr. House: She has gone from the 25th weight percentile to the 3rd in one month. Now I'm not a baby expert, but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to shrink.
Rachel Kaplan: Well there's this diet we put her on when she stopped breast feeding...
Andrew Kaplan: But it's healthy, um, raw food. We're vegans. Almond milk, tofu, uh, vegetables...
Dr. House: Raw food... If only her ancestors had mastered the secret of fire. Babies need fat, proteins, calories. Less important: sprouts and hemp. Starving babies is bad and illegal in many cultures. I'm having her admitted.

Dr. House: Don't worry, it's a vegan I.V.

House walks into hospital and sees room full of possible epidemic patients and turns around towards exit
Dr. Cuddy: Dr. House! We need you here.
Dr. House: Sorry, lotta sick people. I might catch something.

Dr. Cameron: Do you know why people believe in God?
Dr. House: I thought you didn't believe in God.
Dr. Cameron: I don't.
Dr. House: Well then, you'd better be making a very good point.
Dr. Cameron: Do you think they pray to Him and praise Him because they want Him to know how great He is? God already knows that.
Dr. House: Are you ... comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but just so you know, I've never made a tree.
Dr. Cameron: I thank you because it means something to me. To be grateful for what I receive.
Dr. House: You are the most naive atheist I've ever met... thank God. People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs. I'm not gonna crush you.

Dr. Cameron: giving differential diagnosis Idiopathic T-cell deficiency?
Dr. House: Idiopathic, from the Latin meaning we're idiots 'cause we can't figure out what's causing it. Give him a whole body scan.
Dr. Cameron: You hate whole body scans.
Dr. House: 'Cause they're useless. Could probably scan every one of us and find five different doodads that look like cancer.

Dr. House: to black Senator You're not going to become President either way. They don't call it the White House because of the paint job.

Dr. House: Someday there will be a gay president. Someday there will be a black president. There might even be a gay black president. But one combination I do not see happening is gay, black and dead.

Mary: They don't need to know. I'll be all right.
Dr. House: Of course you will. If you're old enough to bleed out of your vagina, obviously you're old enough to handle a simple thing like an abortion without Mommy and Daddy's help.

Dr. Wilson: You're not going to be happy with anyone.
Dr. House: So what, your advice is... hire someone I'm not happy with and be happy?
Dr. Wilson: No, my advice is much more subtle. Stop being an ass.

Dr. Wilson: about Cameron So she's really coming back?
Patient: Who's coming back?
Dr. House: You don't know her.
Dr. Wilson: You give her a raise? Increase her benefits?
Dr. House: Don't have TiVo on this thing, can't rewind. Shut up.
Patient: You lower her hours?
Dr. House: You don't even know her!
Dr. Wilson: Who is this guy?
Dr. House: He's a patient.
Patient: He's examining me.
Dr. House: He's got to go back to work as soon as I'm done with the examination. Guess I do too.
Dr. Wilson: It's got to be something. I mean, she didn't come back because she likes you.
House gets a strange look on his face
Dr. Wilson: Wait a minute! She did come back because she likes you!
Patient: Heh heh! You dog! You slept with her!
Dr. House: Keep talking. I'll finish your exam with a prostate check.
to Wilson
Dr. House: I've agreed to take her on one date.
Dr. Wilson: What?!
Patient: So you into this girl?
Dr. Wilson: Yes.
Dr. House: No! She's not giving me any choice.
Patient: Wait... she's making you do her?
Dr. House: Date her.
Dr. Wilson: Young ingénue doctor falling in love with gruff, older mentor; her sweet, gentle nature bring him to a closer, fuller understanding of his wounded heart.
Patient: puts his arm around House's shoulders Do her, or you're gay.
Dr. House: For God's sake.
grabs TV and as he's walking out the door
Dr. Wilson & Patient: singing —sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
Dr. House: Grow up. And learn to harmonize.

Stacy: I’m not over you. You were, you were the one, you always will be. But I can’t be with you.
Dr. House: So I’m the guy, but you want the other guy, who by definition can never be the guy.

Dr. House: Do the things, the, you know, blah blah blah blah blah, all that stuff the other docs did. If that's negative, ultrasound his belly. If that's negative, CT his abdomen and pelvis, with and without contrast. Did I miss anything?
Dr. Chase: Kitchen sink?
Dr. House: Well, we could certainly give that a... oh, you minx.

Dr. House: Yeah, sorry, that was me. I had to dope him up to get him in here. Guy doesn't think he's sick.
Dr. Cameron: Who does?
Dr. House: His wife.
Dr. Cameron: The woman you used to live with.
Dr. House: That's her Indian name. On her driver's license it's Stacy. I assume you have a point.
Dr. Cameron: You believe her over the patient himself. That's why we're taking this case.
Dr. House: The truth, I hear voices. All the time. Telling me to do stuff, it's crazy, huh?
Dr. Cameron: What happened to "everybody lies"?
Dr. House: I was lying.

Stacy: near tears Please, if you're right this may be his only shot.
Dr. House: So what's your plan? You take the big, dark one, I've got the little girl, and the Aussie will run like a scared wombat if things turn rough.

Dr. Cameron: Any family history?
Stacy: Of? Whacked-outness? His sister voted for Nader, twice. That's about it.

Dr. House: Here's to women. Can't live with them, can't kill them and tell the neighbors they're stripping in Atlantic City.
Mark: Damn straight. they chug their beers, trying to finish first
Dr. House: I'm definitely taller.
Mark: I have more hair.

Assistant: You can't go in there.
Dr. House: Who are you? And why are you wearing a tie?
Assistant: I'm Dr. Cuddy's new assistant. Can I tell her what it's regarding?
Dr. House: Yes! I would like to know why she gets a secretary and I don't.
Assistant: I'm her assistant, not her secretary. I graduated from Rutgers.
Dr. House: Hmm... I didn't know they had a secretarial school. Well, I hope you took some classes in sexual harassment law. Does the word "ka-ching" mean anything to you? I'm going in now.

Dr. House: Well, I don't want to say anything bad about another doctor, especially a useless drunk.
Dr. Cuddy: You're addicted to pain pills.
Dr. House: But I'm not useless.

Dr. House: You know how they say, "you can't live without love"? Well, oxygen is even more important.

regarding a patient on death row
Dr. House: I have to make him all better before shipping him back for the state to kill him. Is it just me, or is that weird?

Dr. Cameron: I took an oath to do no harm.
Dr. House: Yeah, well, it's not like they made you sign it or anything.

Dr. Foreman: You killed four people. Somehow, making mac and cheese just the way he wants kind of loses its significance.

Dr. Wilson: You know why people are nice to other people?
Dr. House: Oh, I know this one. Because people are good, decent and caring. Either that, or people are cowards. If I’m mean to you, you’ll be mean to me. Mutually assured destruction.

Dr. House: Do I have to spell it out for you? Pheochromocytoma. Actually, I'm not sure how you spell it.

Regarding taking on the case of a man on death row
Dr. Foreman: Aren't there better ways to spend our time?
Dr. House: Good question. What makes a person deserving? Is a man who cheats on his wife more deserving than a man who kills his wife?
Dr. Foreman: Uh yeah. Actually, he is.
Dr. House: What about a child molester? Certainly not a good guy, but he didn't kill anybody. Maybe he can get antibiotics, but no MRIs. What about you? What medical care should you be denied for being a car thief? Tell you what: the three of you work out a list of what medical treatments a person loses based on the crime they committed. I'll review it when I get back.

Warden: Your patient shanked one inmate his first month here, broke another one's neck, nearly decapitated one of my guards.
Dr. House: Relax, I've got a great bedside manner.

Warden: Don't have a respirator.
Dr. House: Better get one in about an hour, or you're gonna lose him.
Warden: I'll make out a requisition. The state's already sentenced this man to die.
Dr. House: I think the state was a tad more specific about how.

Dr. Cameron: A spot on an x-ray doesn't necessarily mean that she's terminal.
Dr. House: I love children. So filled with hope.

Dr. House: God, I've got to learn not to beat around the bush.

Dr. Chase: I'm against the death penalty in principle. In practice, however, watching a murderer die causes me a lot less grief than annoying my boss.
Dr. House: Who wants to head over to the prison and find Clarence's secret stash?
Dr. Foreman: Fine, I'll do it.
Dr. House: Great! Chase it is.
Dr. Chase: I assume you have a reason beyond wanting to make me completely miserable?
Dr. House: You've got a prettier mouth. Better chance the inmates will open up to you.

Dr. House: Why are you talking to me?
Stacy: Can't it be enough that I want to cause you pain?

Dr. Chase: No lesions, no aneurysms. Ironically, the mind of a killer looks completely normal.

Dr. Cuddy: House!
Dr. House: Mimicking Scooby Doo Ruh-roh.

Death Row Guy: I feel like I'm gettin' stabbed!
Dr. House: Well, he'd know.

Dr. House: And you stay away from the patient.
Dr. Cameron: What'd I do?
Dr. House: Oh well, you'd just get all warm and cuddly around the dying girl and insinuate yourself; end up in a custody battle.

Dr. House: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?
Dr. Cuddy: Are you high?
Dr. House: If it's Tuesday, I'm wasted.
Dr. Cuddy: It's Wednesday.

Dr. Cuddy: You're actually talking about killing her.
Dr. House: Just for a little while, I'll bring her right back.
Dr. Cuddy: Oh, well, in that case go ahead. Why are we even talking?

Dr. House: Differential diagnosis. Ready, set
Dr. Foreman: Well the hallucinations...
Dr. House: Whoa! Hold on... Wait for it... And go.

Dr. Foreman: We can do that if you want to ignore what we just discussed.
Dr. House: Sounds good.

Dr. House: Union rules. I can't check out this guy's seeping gonorrhea this close to lunch.

Dr. House: The tumor is Afghanistan, the clot is Buffalo.

Dr. Foreman: Her oxygen saturation is normal.
Dr. House: It's off by one percentage point.
Dr. Foreman: It's within range. It's normal.
Dr. House: If her DNA was off by one percentage point, she'd be a dolphin.

Dr. Foreman: What's the emergency?
Dr. House: Looking at his yo-yo I can't remember how to do Walk the Dog.

Sebastian: Snaps his fingers Another person just died. Where is your outrage?
Dr. House: Keeps snapping Sure, they're dying, but it's got a great beat.

Sebastian: Nah, TB's my disease.
Dr. House: You own a disease? Well, I'm sorry I missed the IPO on dengue fever.

Dr. House: Take the pills or I let you die, do an autopsy, call my own press conference, and make sure the world knows that you didn't die of TB. Corporate sponsors will be disappointed, but they'll find another disease.
Sebastian: Why would you do that?
Dr. House: Because I'm just a mean son of a bitch.

Sebastian: Every minute four people die of TB.
Dr. House: Wow, how can you sleep at night?
Sebastian: There's people dying in Africa of a disease that we cured over fifty years ago...
Dr. House: Yeah, I know. I saw the concert. Seriously, let's say you sleep six hours, that means every night you kill 1440 people. I guess you gotta get some sleep, but come on, if you'd stayed up another ten minutes you could have saved forty lives. Do you send notes to the families in the morning? That's gonna take at least ten minutes, so that's another forty dead, another forty notes... why don't you go wrack yourself with guilt in your own room?

While pointing to Sebastian and talking to newspeople
Cuts to Drs. Wilson and Foreman
Dr. Wilson Compelling television.

To Newsweek reporter
Dr. House: In my opinion, Dr. Sebastian Charles is an idiot! Yeah, you can quote me... C-U-D-D-Y.

Dr. House: Every minute that we refuse to love one another, another puppy cries another tear.
Dr. Wilson: You're just mad that he's closer to a Nobel Prize than you are.
Dr. House: And yet I've nailed more Swedish babes. Crazy, crazy world.
Dr. Wilson: It's not just the trip to Stockholm, you know. It comes with a cash prize.
Dr. House: Seriously? No wonder everybody is going after that peace thing.
Dr. House: Nobel Invented dynamite, I won't take his blood money.

Dr. House: There's an evolutionary imperative why we give a crap about our family and friends. And there's an evolutionary imperative why we don't give a crap about anybody else. If we loved all people indiscriminately, we couldn't function.
Dr. Foreman: Hmmm. So, the great humanitarian's as selfish as the rest of us.
Dr. House: Just not as honest about it.

Sebastian: What he House just did -
Dr. Foreman: Abusive and unprofessional. If he hadn't done it, we wouldn't have seen the problem.

Sebastian: I think doctors like House cling to objectivity like a three-year-old to a blanket: don't get too worked up, stay calm, stay cool, and maintain that correct perspective. The only flaw in their argument is, when you have millions of people dying, the correct perspective is to be yelling at the top of your lungs.

Dr. House: He's not even a real doctor; he's a human telethon.
Dr. Wilson: Is that your problem with him? You see hypocrites every day. Why is this guy so special?
Dr. House: You think I have a hypocritical attitude to hypocrisy? The problem is there are 26 letters in the alphabet, and he only uses two of them. He treats thousands of patients with one diagnosis. He knows the answer going in. It's cheating.

Dr. House: You want third-world treatment? Turns up the thermostat You got it. Boy, is it hot here in Jani!
Dr. Cameron: What are you doing?
Dr. House: What am I doing? He knocks Sebastian's things onto the floor Putting everything on the floor of the hut. Uh oh, wicked magic box with the moving pictures!
Dr. Cameron: You think he's a hypocrite?
Dr. House: Unplugging the TV Hypocrite? No, everyone in Africa's got cell phones or running water. He has dropped Sebastian's cell phone in the toilet This thing just will not flush.
Sebastian: Do you really think that if you come in here and make it a little hot, make it smell a little, that I'm just going to fold and abandon everything that matters to me?
Dr. House: Wiping his cane on Sebastian's blanket Lousy sanitation over there, too. You are not the same as them; your life is not the same. And you are cheapening everything they're going through by pretending you are.

Dr. House: Do you notice how all the self-sacrificing women in history; Joan of Arc, Mother Theresa, can't think of any others; they all die alone. The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz, it's crazy.

Dr. Foreman: Good? This is bizarre.
Dr. House: Bizarre is good! Common has hundreds of explanations. Bizarre has hardly any.

Dr. Wilson: We're discussing your new patient.
Dr. House: Must be a boring discussion seeing as I haven't accepted a new patient.
Dr. Wilson: You accepted him the moment I loaned you five grand.
Dr. House: Oooohhhh...wait, wait. When I said I'd do anything for the money, obviously I didn't mean it.
Dr. Cameron: Why would you need five thousand dollars?
Dr. Chase: Bad night at poker...or great night with a hooker?
Dr. House: Thank you for saving me the trouble of deflecting that personal question with a joke.

Upon seeing House's new motorcycle
Dr. Wilson: Two-wheeled vehicles that travel 150 miles an hour don't really go well with crippled, irresponsible drug addicts.

Dr. House: You bastard. You invited my parents to dinner.
Dr. Wilson: Geez, Cameron's got a big mouth.
Dr. House: Ha! Not as big as yours.
Dr. Wilson: Hey, you used me to avoid seeing your parents.
Dr. House: Well, what do you care?
Dr. Wilson: I don't. I just thought it might be interesting to find out why.
Dr. House: You could have just asked.
Dr. Wilson: You would have lied.
Dr. House: And you would have believed me. Which would have kept us both happy. Do you want your money back, is that what this is about?
Dr. Wilson: No! Wait, what? Have you got the money?
House starts to write check
Dr. Wilson: If you have the money, then why did you need the loan?
Dr. House: I didn't. I just wanted to see if you'd give it to me. I've been borrowing increasing amounts ever since you lent me forty dollars a year ago. A little experiment to see where you'd draw the line.
Dr. Wilson: You're - you're trying to objectively measure how much I value our friendship?
Dr. House: That's five grand, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. So what do you say, one little phone call, one big check?
Dr. Wilson: Fine.
takes check
Dr. Wilson: Thanks.
gets in car
Dr. Wilson: Now, be a grownup and either tell mommy and daddy you don't want to see them or I'm picking you up at 7:00 for dinner.
Dr. House: What do you mean? You just said...
Dr. Wilson: I lied. I've been lying to you in increasing amounts ever since I told you you look good unshaved a year ago. It's a little experiment, you know, to see where you'd draw the line.

Dr. House: Gimme a reason to get out of this, and I'll tell you who started the rumor about you being a transsexual.
Dr. Cuddy: There is no such rumor.
Dr. House: There will be unless you get me out of this dinner.

Ken: I know the way things work - the better my job, the better my son gets treated.
Dr. House: Right. That's why I'm mad. 'Cause we wasted all that filet mignon on you.

Dr. Cameron: Who was that?
Dr. House: Angelina Jolie. I call her mom. Who thinks that's sexy?

Dr. Cameron: So it's okay to lie to House, but not to a patient.
Dr. Cuddy: Yep!

Taddy is being wheeled in on a gurney
Dr. House: You Taddy?
Taddy: What?
Dr. House: Love the name. If I ever have a dog...

Dr. House: Now we're getting somewhere.
Dr. Foreman: Where?
Dr. House: I have no idea.

Dr. Foreman: You have no evidence to support a poisoning diagnosis.
Dr. House: Which is why it's gonna be so cool when I turn out to be right.

Dr. Cameron: Why does he hate seeing his parents? So his dad tells the truth, is that so terrible?
Dr. Wilson: He hates being a disappointment.
Dr. Cameron: He's a doctor. World famous. How disappointed can they be?
Dr. Wilson: You know what's the only thing worse than watching your son become a cripple? Watching him become miserable.

Dr. House: What makes a guy start drooling? Chase, were you wearing your short shorts?

Dr. Chase: You were right.
Dr. House: Now there went three wasted words.

Dr. House: to Dr. Chase I love when you do both sides of the conversation. It's like white noise; it's very peaceful.

Dr. Cameron: It's kind of a long shot.
Dr. House: Yeah, but it's been over an hour since we poked the patient with something sharp. Get him a lumbar puncture.

Dr. House: You are healed. sticks the patient in the thigh Rise and walk.
Jeff: Are you insane?
Dr. House: In the Bible, they just say, "Yes, Lord" and start on in with the praising.
Jeff: First you tell me I've got cancer. Then you tell me that my manager... (Jeff realizes he can move his arms) What did you do?
Dr. House: What did you do, Lord?

Dr. House: after injecting the cyclist Tensilon erases the symptoms of MG for five or six minutes. patient falls to the ground Sometimes less. This is exactly why I created nurses. yells out the door Cleanup on aisle three!

Stacy: We need to talk.
Dr. House: Oh, God. Are you pregnant? 'Cause I really wanna finish high school.

Dr. House: She Stacy can't handle working with me.
Dr. Cuddy: Oh, right, yeah, she's still got a thing for you, making it impossible for her to deal, makes perfect sense. Except for the pronouns!

Jeff: I do straight blood doping.
Dr. Cuddy: Plot twist!
Dr. House: That's a very daring confession.
Manager: We've got confidentiality, right?
Dr. House: Assuming I'm more ethical than your client.

Dr. House: The air is keeping him from breathing air. Let's go with that for the irony.

Dr. Foreman: With all due respect, man, I doubt there's anything wrong with you that you didn't do to yourself.

Dr. Chase: Micky Mantle was an alcoholic.
Dr. Cameron: At least he had his own home runs. He didn't physically alter himself.
Dr. Chase: We take drugs to help us fall asleep, stay awake—
Dr. Cameron: We don't make careers out of who can stay awake the longest!
Dr. Chase: Really? Ever been to, oh, I don't know, med school?
Dr. Foreman: Er, guys? He plays a game for a living. Who cares?

Dr. Wilson: How's your biker?
Dr. House: Pumped an air bubble into a vein in his lung.
Dr. Wilson: The things people do! Doping! Vicodin!
Dr. House: Hey! You're talking about me aren't you!

Dr. Wilson: Mark is in group therapy for people coping with disability. He was thinking about developing a drug addiction, but that would be stupid.
Dr. House: Hey, you're... House gestures back and forth between Wilson and himself Ohhh, you again!

Dr. Wilson: He's made a mistake. Revealing the truth doesn't undo it.
Dr. Cameron: Kids love him, and he's not who they think he is. It's not right.
Dr. Wilson: Who cares if he's what he says he is? Who the hell is? If love's based on lies, does that mean it's not a real feeling? Doesn't it bring the same pleasure?
Dr. Cameron: Are we still talking about the patient?
Dr. Wilson: Have you... ever cheated? Well, I have. You wanna punish him, good for you; but you can't do it without punishing the people who love him.
Dr. Cameron: Is that how you justified lying to your wives?
Dr. Wilson: I always told them.

Dr. Chase: There's no way PRCA could manifest so suddenly.
Dr. Cameron: Unless it's drug-induced. He's lying about not being on EPO?
Dr. House: Why would he lie?
Dr. Cameron: What does it matter?
Dr. House: People lie for thousands of reasons, but there's always a reason.
Dr. Foreman: Philosophically interesting, medically irrelevant.
Dr. House: Unless he's not lying.

Manager: Okay, I should have told you. It's not just about the races, Jeff; it's about your image, okay? If you come back from cancer, those sponsors will be all over you. Okay, so I messed up okay, but I did not give you EPO!
Jeff: That stuff could kill me.
Dr. House: Come on, give her a break. She's only doing what she has to to advance her career. Don't you have that tattooed on your tushie?

Dr. House: makes a dramatic gesture with the stirring stick Go forth and scan his neck.
Dr. Chase: His neck?
Dr. House: Or repeat everything I say in question form.

Dr. Cameron: After this let's scan some other totally random body parts.
Dr. Chase: 50 bucks says we find something.
Dr. Foreman: Find what?
Dr. Chase: Don't have a clue. We on?
Dr. Foreman: No way.
Dr. Chase: (turns to see if Cameron is up to it)
Dr. Cameron: No. We'll find something.

Dr. House: She came into the clinic and yelled at me. Then she left. Then she came back and yelled some more.
Dr. Wilson: Hmm. Yelling. That might be a clue.
Dr. House: I know what the yelling means, it's the coming and going I find interesting. It's not rational.
Dr. Wilson: Anger's not rational?
Dr. House: Some anger is. She could have pulled me aside, screamed at me privately. Her beef is simple and well-founded. She was out of control.
Dr. Wilson: You're having fun aren't you?
Dr. House: She's in my face, I need to know why.
Dr. Wilson: Professional reasons.
Dr. House: Oh, why else?
Dr. Wilson: Do you really think this is going to end well, for anyone?

Dr. House: I want to apologize. Maybe I've been punishing you for a little too long. And maybe you've been punishing me. If we're going to work together, I need to know: Do you hate me? Or do you love me? Either way, I think we've got a problem.
Stacy: I hate you. And I love you. And I love Mark.
Dr. House: You don't hate him?
Stacy: No.
Dr. House: So what do we do?
Stacy: We deal with each other.
Dr. House: Right. That plan's been working great so far.
Stacy: It'll get better, it'll get easier.
Dr. House: Why?
Stacy: I don't know, it's what my therapist tells me.
House walks out of the room giving a briefly smug little smile once he's closed the door

Dr. Cameron: I fell in love with my husband's best friend. Near the end I was at the hospital every day and Joe would come by after work, and go for walks, and trying to talk each other through it. We just clung to each other.
Dr. Wilson: My wife wasn't dying, she wasn't even sick - everything was fine. I met someone who made me feel funny. Good. And I didn't wanna let that feeling go. What happened to you? How can anyone go through that alone. You can't control your emotions.
Dr. Cameron: No, just your actions.
Dr. Wilson: You didn't do it, did you. You didn't sleep with him?
Dr. Cameron: I couldn't have lived with myself.
Dr. Wilson: You'd be surprised what you can live with.

Dr. House: I had therapy here this morning and left my cane.
Janitor: Sorry.
Dr. House: Dude. I'm crippled.
Janitor pauses, then unlocks the door

Patient: I usually sleep in a hyperbaric chamber. I've been pumping up electrolytes with an IV drip, and I take herbal anabolic steroids, amphetamines, and diuretics...
Dr. House: Yeah-yeah-yeah... but why would you be sick?
Patient: I know blood doping has its risks, I know its outside the rules but I do what I have to to kick ass at my job. Don't you?
Dr. Cuddy: Dr. House is a firm believer in good, old-fashion hard work.
House pops a Vicodin

Dr. House: Now let go of my cane before it becomes your new boyfriend.
Kalvin: Honey, I will marry it if you would look at my file.
Dr. House: Congress says you can't, so...

Dr. House: Just 'cause he says I hit him doesn't make it true. Watch. Shouts to the heavens I am surrounded by naked cheerleaders! Nothing happens See?

Dr. House: I am not treating you.
Kalvin: What, because you're a closet case?
Dr. Wilson: Er... we're not together.
Dr. House: He is so self-loathing.

Dr. House is with Stacy in her house when Mark enters the room.
Mark: What's going on?
Dr. House: It's not what you think. I know it looks like we're cleaning dishes, but actually, we're having sex.

Dr. Foreman: Have you read his file?
Dr. House: I started, but I found the characters two-dimensional.

Dr. Wilson: If you want her back, either tell her, or, better yet, shut up and cry yourself to sleep like everybody else.

Dr. Cameron: I love my job.
Kalvin: Really? You seem more the "find it exceptionally satisfying" type.

Dr. Cameron: I have fun.
Dr. Chase: Yeah, she's got some scheduled for February.

Dr. Chase: Pre-World War II fluorescent bulbs contained large amounts of beryllium. Beryllium dust inflames the lungs, they get rigid, patient can't breathe. Dr. House gives him a questioning look My father co-authored a paper on acute berylliosis.
Dr. House: Phew! For a moment there I thought you were smart.

Kalvin: To Dr. Cameron Oh, would you stop being nice? It's useless, and worse, it's boring.

Dr. House: He thought he was dying. Dying people lie, too. Wish they'd worked less, they'd been nicer, they'd opened orphanages for kittens. If you really want to do something, you do it, you don't save it for sound byte.

Dr. Wilson: So now you've got to drum up another excuse to be around the love of your life. Could hit another patient.
Dr. House: Nah, don't like to repeat myself. People will say I'm formulaic.

Dr. House: It was self-defense.
Dr. Cuddy: You baited him.
Dr. House: You're right. I was asking for it. The low-cut blouse, the "Do me" pumps...

Stacy: This whole time you've been manipulating me?
Dr. House: You knew I had an angle the moment I poured soap onto a scrub brush.

Dr. House: It's okay, she's not here, you can skip the nice guy act.
Dr. Foreman: You know, some human beings are actually capable of human feelings.

Stacy: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn't you fire him?
Dr. House: He has great hair.
Stacy: What are you hiding?
Dr. House: I'm gay. Oh! That's not what you meant. It does explain a lot, though: no girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers...

Dr. House: And for the record, you are the worst transplant surgeon in the hospital. But, unfortunately, you are the only one who's currently cheating on his wife.

Sam: She got hep from me, didn't she?
Dr. House: No! No, no, no, God, no! I think she got cancer from you.

Dr. Chase: To Stacy Let's make a deal. I won't use the word "honestly," and you'll quit stopping by to see House so you don't take it out on me afterwards, how about that?

Dr. House: About Stacy She protects Chase, she protects me.
Dr. Wilson: Unless her advice to Chase is to make a deal and give you up. In a bad Australian accent "I'm so sorry, if only Dr House had paid attention... he'd never even met her; he never does."
Dr. House: Chase loves me. And isn't Turkish.
Dr. Wilson: Cameron loves you. Chase loves his job.

Stacy: Yeah. Why did Chase screw up?
Dr. Foreman: Because he doesn't give a crap about patients.
Stacy: Well, he always gets positive patient reviews.
Dr. Foreman: Yeah. He smiles all 84 of his teeth, tells them his tonsil story.
Stacy: It's a nice story.
Dr. Foreman: He still has his tonsils. As soon as he's out of the room, which is as soon as he can be out of the room, he starts in on the trash talk. Thinks not giving a crap makes him like House. Like something to aspire to.

Dr. Chase: It was a minor mistake; I couldn't have known it was going to happen—
Dr. House: Mistakes are as serious as the results they cause!

Dr. House: The hospital lawyer asks me if I did something unethical. If I did, the last person I tell is the hospital lawyer, especially since she's gone all Old Testament on me.

Dr. House: I'm not the one being sued. I feel funny.

Stacy: Interrupting a flashback Don't care about the Vicodin. Vicodin disappears with a pop

Transplant Doc: What's this?
Dr. House: Five grand. And thats just ante money; you'll get another fifteen after the surgery.
Transplant Doc: Laughs I make six hundred-thousand dollars a year. You think I'm going to risk tanking my percentages for a measily twenty thousand?!
Dr. House: Fine. Keeps me from welsching on the other fifteen grand I would have owed you. However, you will do the surgery or I'll tell your wife you've been having an affair with a series of nurses, currently Nurse Cutler in Radiology. Now lets see... what's six hundred-thousand divided by two??

Dr. House: Chase killed that woman, now Foreman's in charge?
Dr. Cuddy: Yeah, we have a pecking order here, if Cameron kills somebody, Chase takes over. There's a flow chart in the lobby.

Dr. House: Work smart, not hard. That's my philosophy, boss.

Dr. House: While deliberately sabotaging a lumbar puncture Eighth time's the charm.

Dr. Cameron: That's the irony of women in charge, they don't like other women in charge.

Dr. Foreman: What do you expect me to do, House? Quit? Cry?
Dr. House: Actually, I expect you to act like what you are - my employee, my subordinate ... my bitch.

Dr. House: Yeah, well, being hospitalized a lot certainly points to nothing being wrong with you.

Dr. Cameron: How would you describe my leadership skills?
Dr. House: Nonexistent. Otherwise excellent.

Dr. House: At the end of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," the wolf really does come. And he eats the sheep... and the boy... and his parents.
Dr. Chase: The wolf doesn't eat the parents!
Dr. House: It does when I tell it.

Dr. House: Labs, schmabs. A good diagnostician reads between the labs.

Dr. Foreman: Yeah, you're all about the nurturing.
Dr. House: You need a hug?

Dr. Foreman: I just agreed with you.
Dr. House: Not because you think I'm right. You're just taking the safe route. You're a wuss. Don't worry; your secret's safe with me. walks outside. Loudly Hey, Wilson! Guess what Foreman just did!

Dr. Foreman: Do you think there's any way House would take me seriously as his boss?
Dr. Wilson: Where is this coming from? Did Cuddy say something?
Dr. Foreman: We talked. She intimated.
Dr. Wilson: And you want my advice on how to usurp him? It's very ancient Rome: you'll need a toga, and of course, a sword.

Dr. Foreman: You were right.
Dr. House: Hey hey hey, we're not here to play the blame game. These things happen. Sometimes doctors send people out on the street to die after other doctors warned them that they were sending them out on the street to die. There's no way you could know.

Dr. Wilson: Do you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?
Dr. House: They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.

Stacy: Our relationship is like an addiction. It's... like...
Dr. House: Really good drugs?
Stacy: No, it's like... vindaloo curry.
Dr. House: Okay, sure...
Stacy: Really, really hot Indian curry they make with red chili peppers.
Dr. House: I know what it is! Didn't think it was addictive.
Stacy: You're abrasive and annoying and come on way too strong, like... vindaloo curry. When you're crazy about curry, that's fine, but, no matter how much you love curry, you have too much of it, it takes the roof of your mouth off. And then you never want to see curry for a really, really long time, but you wake up one day, and you think... God, I really miss curry.

Dr. Foreman: Why'd you put me in charge of the department if you think I can't handle it?
Dr. Cuddy: Because it's temporary, and because I was ordered to.

Dr. House: We've been over this.
Stacy: If I thought you were capable of listening, I'd shut up.
Dr. House: That makes no sense at all.

Dr. House: MRI show anything?
Dr. Foreman: CT scan was negative.
Dr. House: CT... that's like, short for MRI, right? Excellent, well I guess that saves us a lot of time.
Dr. Chase: We've got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine.
Dr. House: I teach you to lie and cheat and steal...and as soon as my back is turned, you wait in line?

Dr. Chase: What happened to the Foreman who always has an answer? The guy who practically wears a sign saying "I'm as good as House, but I'm nicer."

Stacy: At least this time I recognize it. That's the bitter bit of convincing the two men you ever loved they're better off without you.
Dr. House: Yeah, it's all your fault. You know, "Stacy" in the original Greek means "relationship killer."

Dr. Wilson: about the patient Cameron's got him on dialysis and he's stable for the moment, unlike Cuddy, who's suicidal.

Dr. House: Either you've decided to do a lumbar puncture, or you have to fire me so that I can't fire all of you, as soon as I get back in charge.

Dr. House: They can handle it.
Dr. Cuddy: Right. So far only three organ systems have failed.
Dr. House: Okay, they can't. Doesn't matter; guy's not stable enough to move. So go rant in your own office.

Dr. Cuddy: How is waking me up in the middle of night to lie to a patient supposed to convince me you're better than House?
Dr. Foreman: I... brought you coffee?

Dr. House: Two people who weren't meant to be together. Maybe they'll get a happy ending just because they both want it so much.
Stacy: Yeah, that's usually the way it works.

Dr. Foreman: In one of Fletch's books he talked about giving up drugs and alcohol. Said how it changed his life.
Dr. Chase: imitating House Everybody lies.

Stacy: We had a fight and I stormed out without my make-up or cross. I stopped at the drug store and got some new make-up, but I didn't get a cross because they don't have an aisle for personal talismen!

Dr. Cameron: What does House say?
Dr. Foreman: The person you are trying to reach is out of the area or has turned off their phone.

Dr. House: Mommy does everything for her family these days. Even swallows their pills.

Dr. House: Cameron, I love you.
Cameron's jaw drops. House swabs her mouth.
Dr. House: Get your test result tomorrow.

Dr. House: knocking on Wilson's office door I know you're in there! I can hear you caring!

Stella: What's wrong with your foot?
Dr. House: War wound.
Stella: Does it hurt?
Dr. House: Every day.
Stella: Is that why you're so sad?
Dr. House: pause Oh, aren't you adorable? I'm not sad, I'm complicated. Chicks dig that.

Dr. House: Regarding a patient's treatment Why don't you take it up with Stacy? See which option minimizes your risk.
Dr. Cuddy: Here's what I think she's going to say. Imitating Stacy's accent Oh, I loooove Greg! But if you go against the patient's wishes, you're calling her a liar. And if something goes wrong, I end up in court, having to defend the big mean doctor (albeit with dreamy eyes) who wouldn't believe the nice suburban mom. And even though his cane makes me melt, do the damn surgery.

Dr. House: Morning, Jimmy! Anybody die while I was gone?
Dr. Wilson: Did... Did you iron your shirt?
Dr. House: I thought about shaving it, but I couldn't find a razor.

Dr. Chase: Millions of women are on fertility treatments, and they don't get cancer.
Dr. House: Right. They get babies. She had a blood clot and a stroke. She'll get another one and probably die if we don't find that tumor. Do an endometrial biopsy.
Dr. Foreman: Biopsy's painful and unnecessary. We just did an ultrasound.
House squints and looks at his watch
Dr. Foreman: What?
Dr. House: Shh.
Dr. Cameron: If you have a personal issue that's interfering with...
Dr. House: inturrupts Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Dr. Foreman: What are we waiting for?
Dr. House: Your four weeks just expired. Your reign of terror is over. Mine has just begun. Now go stick a needle up her hoo-hoo and find that cancer.
goes into his office, while Foreman shakes his head and smiles
Dr. Chase: confused Hoo-hoo?
Dr. Foreman: As if it's an explaination He went to Hopkins.

House hands Cameron a sealed envelope, which she assumes is her HIV test results
Dr. House: Knowing is always better than not knowing.
Cameron opens the envelope and reads the letter
Dr. Cameron: It's a referral request.
Dr. House: holds up an open envelope Right. HIV thing came in earlier. You're fine.
Dr. Cameron: incensed You won't read your mail, but you'll open mine?
Dr. House: It said confidential. I wanted to know.
Dr. Cameron: The most important letter of my life, and you're still an ass.
Dr. House: Comforting, isn't it?
she exits

Stacey: What was Greg like after I left?
Dr. Cuddy: Er, an egomaniacal, narcissistic pain in the ass — same as before you left.

Dr. Wilson: You don't like yourself. But you do admire yourself. Its all you've got so you cling to it. You're so afraid if you change, you'll lose what makes you special.
Dr. Wilson: Being miserable doesn't make you better than anybody else, House. It just makes you miserable.
Wilson and House look at each other. Wilson exits

Dr. Cameron: What are you looking for?
Dr. House: Same as you. Love, acceptance, a solid return on investment.

Dr. Weber: Do I know you?
Dr. House: I know your math skills...they blow

Dr. Weber: I know...I know you.
Dr. House: Sure you do, Dick.
Dr. Weber: The name's Philip.
Dr. House: My bad. Something to do with your face - I always think your name is Dick.
Dr. Weber: HOUSE?!
Dr. House: Here.

Dr. Weber: You can't test anything on an abnormal brain.
Dr. House: That's so closed-minded. He's not "abnormal", he's special.

Dr. House: Bad news: Your son has a filthy, unhealthy habit. Good news: He's trying to quit. Bad news: It's killing him. Good news: I can cure him. Bad news: thinks Nope, that's it.

Dr. Wilson: How'd you get here?
Dr. House: By osmosis.

Dr. Cuddy: Teenage supermodel. Presented with double-vision, sudden aggressive behavior, cataplexy—
Dr. House: You had me at "teenage supermodel."

Alex: I was passed out but I wasn't. I, I knew what was going on but I couldn't move or talk.
Dr. House: Yeah, sounds like a medical thing. It's called cataplexy. Catfight and cataplexy on the catwalk. Cool.

Dr. House: She's a fashion model, on the cover of magazines. They hold her up as a sexual ideal. The law says we can't touch her for three more years. How hypocritical is that?

Dr. Foreman: There's no age limit on addiction.
Dr. House: taking a Vicodin He's right.

George: I haven't slept in weeks, because my teeth hurt. Dentist couldn't find any cavities. And I'm getting these headaches.
Dr. House: Ohhhhh, poor you.
George: I think I'm going crazy. And my stomach. I roll out of bed, and I wanna puke.
Dr. House: I take it you're married.
George: Showing House a ring You must be psychic.
Dr. House: You must be witty. When's she due?
George: How'd you know she—
Dr. House: 'Cause I'm doing her! You've got Couvade Syndrome, which is just a fancy way of saying you should stop whining. Millions of women have got the same thing. They're not bugging me.

Dr. Foreman: Why would your mind go to abuse so fast?
Dr. House: I had a funny uncle.
Dr. Foreman: You were abused?
Dr. House: What? No. Why'd your mind go to that so fast. I just had a funny uncle. Great stories, always filthy.

Dr. House: You've got male pseudo-hermaphroditism. See, we all start out as girls, and then we're differentiated based on our genes. The ovaries develop into testes and drop. But in about one in 150 thousand pregnancies, a fetus with an 'XY' chromosome, a boy, develops into something else, like you; your testes never descended. Because you're immune to testosterone, you're pure estrogen, which is why you had heightened female characteristics—clear skin, great breasts. The ultimate woman is a man. Nature is cruel, huh?
Father: This is obviously a joke. This is ... it's impossible.
Dr. House: No, a joke would be me calling you a homo. See the difference? I'll schedule him for surgery.

Dr. Wilson is examining Dr. House's leg with the MRI
Dr. Wilson: gruff disguised voice House, this is God.
Dr. House: in MRI chamber Look, I'm a little busy right now. Not supposed to talk during these things. Got time Thursday?
Dr. Wilson: Let me check. Oh! I got a plague. What about Friday?
Dr. House: You'll have to check with Cameron.
Dr. Wilson: Oh! Damn it! She always wants to know why bad things happen. Like I'm gonna come up with a new answer this time.
Cuddy bursts in
Dr. Cuddy: House...
Dr. House: Quick, God, smite the evil witch! Wilson wisely says nothing
Dr. Cuddy: Are you sitting on evidence that your patient was sexually abused by her father?
Dr. House: God, why have you forsaken me?

Wilson is telling House that his leg pain is a result of Stacy leaving. House smacks Wilson in the shin with his cane.
Dr. House: Aw, you miss Stacy too?

Henry: We just happened to be at the same Italian cheese tasting... thing.
Dr. House: Cheese is the Devil's plaything.

Dr. House: We're going to cure her.
Dr. Cameron: We're going to cure death?
Dr. House: like a mad scientist Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! normal voice Doubt it.

Dr. House: Norwegian chocolate. Frankly, you buy that stuff, the terrorists win.

Henry: about his daughter I had sex with her mom.
Dr. House: I think she knows that happened already.

Dr. Cuddy: Don't you think this is a little manipulative?
Dr. House: No, I think it's hugely manipulative.

Dr. House: spots Wilson talking to a nurse Wilson! How long can you go without sex?
Dr. Wilson: How long can you go without annoying people?
Dr. House: No seriously, a week? A month?
Dr. Wilson: I'm not having an affair.

Henry: I assume you've been in love?
Dr. House: Is that the one that makes your pants feel funny?

Dr. House: When guys have brain/crotch problems, it's usually the result of using one too much and the other too little.

Dr. House: So I have to wonder what could be more humiliating than someone calling your girlfriend a cow and not being metaphorical?

Dr. Cameron: She's positive for gonorrhea.
Dr. House: I think that's the first time those words have been uttered in joy.

Dr. Cameron: I thought we were wearing the wrong shoes for cancer.
Dr. House: We're wearing the wrong shoes for testicular cancer. They're perfect for lymphoma. Except Chase's—they're just goofy.

Dr. House: About a comatose woman She's a fridge with a power out. You start poking around inside, the vegetable goes bad. No offense.

Dr. House: Key to a long life—exotic women, boring cheese.

Wilson is buying a box of chocolates
Dr. House: Who's the lucky woman?
Dr. Wilson: My Wife.
Dr. House: I don't want to know who gets the chocolates. I want to know who you're having the affair with.

Dr. House: You blow dry your hair?
Dr. Wilson: Oh sorry, did I wake you up?
Dr. House: You blow dry your hair?
Dr. Wilson: Excuse me for actually caring what I look like.
Dr. House: I think the word you're looking for is obsessing!

Dr. House: Lungs, skin... skin, lungs... Sklungs?

Dr. Wilson: Don't you ever eat anything besides canned soup and peanut butter?
Dr. House: Don't you ever eat anything that doesn't look like it's been rolled onto your plate by a dung beetle?

Dr. Wilson: Now, why do you have a season pass to The New Yankee Workshop?
Dr. House: It's a complete moron working with power tools—how much more suspenseful can you get?

Woman: Marches up to Dr. Cuddy and annouces, without preface I am not having an affair with my daughter's karate instructor, and I did not give my husband herpes.
Dr. Cuddy: Grabs a passing nurse Go find out where House is.

Dr. House: Where is she?
Dr. Cameron: She had to go to the bathroom.
Dr. House: I told you not to let her.
Dr. Cameron: What was I supposed to do, tie her up?
Dr. House: Why not? She likes that.

Dr. Cameron: He's gonna need a lung transplant...
Dr. House: He's becoming more attractive by the minute, isn't he?
Dr. Cameron You're pleased...You think you've proved every marriage is a mistake.
Dr. House: Do I look pleased?
Dr. Cameron: Ignorance is bliss.

Dr. House: to Dr. Wilson Why do you wanna sleep on a couch anyway? You got money. At least until the divorce is finalized.

Dr. Wilson: Cuddy called.
Dr. House: I know. Saw the caller ID.
Dr. Wilson: Young girl, anaphylactic shock.
Dr. House: You answered?
Dr. Wilson: Turns out that's what stops the ringing.

Dr. Cuddy: These are your big ideas? Somebody's lying?
Dr. House: Hasn't let me down yet.

Dr. Chase: referring to Melinda Maybe she's allergic to a having a sucky social life.

Dr. Chase: No alarm on this window.
Dr. Cameron: It's a 20-foot drop.
Dr. Chase: You can get to the tree from here. There's some bark scraped off.
Dr. Cameron: Sure— heart-transplant girl swung down there on a vine. Maybe she was hooking up with Tarzan and Cheetah down by the elephant graveyard.

Dr. Cameron: Test was negative, no semen allergy.
Dr. House: Boyfriend sneaks in to get his freak on the night before the anaphylaxis. I don't buy that it's unrelated.
Dr. Cameron: He loves her. Did everything he could to make sure she wouldn't get sick.
Dr. House: looking puzzled What does that mean?
Dr. Cameron: Love is an emotion certain people experience, similar to happiness. smiles You know, maybe I should give a more relatable example.
Dr. House: Oh, snap!

Dr. House: Great part of being a grownup, you never have to do anything.

Dr. Cameron: What if her anaphylaxis wasn't anaphylaxis? Toxicity from the anti-rejection meds could cause a seizure, and then heart failure.
Dr. House: And get cured by a mommy-wielded epi pen? It's anaphylaxis. What else?
Dr. Foreman: What if they really are two puzzles?
Dr. Cameron: You think she had two unrelated rare conditions in one week?
Dr. Foreman: We explained the anaphylaxis.
Dr. House: What do you mean, we? I did! At least I thought I did... maybe I didn't. Still, it was all me.

Dr. Foreman: writing on board Heart failure could be either infection, coronary disease, or rejection.
Dr. House: taking marker away from Foreman Sorry, there's a reason they call it the white board. It's not my rule. What ties both these conditions together?
Everyone stares blankly at each other
Dr. Foreman: Okay, we can all stare at each other, or we can investigate what caused the heart failure— just the heart failure. You wanna give me that black marker?
House reluctantly gives back the marker

Dr. House: I scammed you into doing the dishes, I made you sit on the steps, I didn't kill your puppy. I did not make you miserable.
Dr. Wilson: Oh, so this is therapy?
Dr. House: No it just... makes me smile.
Dr. Wilson: All right, I'm finding a new place tomorrow.
Dr. House: Right, but not tonight.
Dr. Wilson: Well, I figure you wanna shave my eyebrows while I'm asleep— I wouldn't wanna deprive you of that last smile.

House has been playing pranks on Wilson throughout the show. Wilson and House are walking down the hallway when House's cane snaps in half and he falls
Dr. Wilson: Oh, look at that. It looks like someone filed halfway through your cane while you were asleep.

Dr. House: You wake up in the morning, your paint's peeling, your curtains are gone, and your water is boiling, which problem do you deal with first?!
Dr. Foreman: House.
Dr. House: None of them, the building's on fire!

Dr. House: Everything sucks. Might as well find something to smile about.

House is searching frantically through Melinda's hair for a tick
Dr. Cuddy: Ticks aren't usually invisible.
Dr. House: They are until you FIND THEM!
holds up comb triumphantly
Dr. House: No, that's dandruff. Okay, well, that wasn't nearly as dramatic as I'd hoped. It just means that next time'll be even better!

Dr. House: to Chase, in front of a girl he's talking to Hey! How's that anal fissure? Did it heal yet, or is it still draining? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd come back for seconds. I figured after that girl in the stairwell, you'd be done for the night.
Dr. Chase: He's joking.
Dr. House: No Adam's apple, small hands. No surprises this time.
Girl: I'll, uh, see you later.
Girl exits
Dr. House: Got a case.
Dr. Chase: Well, you could've just said that. You didn't have to screw with me.
Dr. House: Yeah, but if I didn't screw with you, you'd spend the whole night thinking you might get laid, which means you'd be useless. Better to extinguish all hope.

Dr. House: on phone to Wilson, who is still playing with Cuddy Keep your answers short and discreet. Is Cuddy still playing?
Dr. Wilson: The still in Piccadilly Square.
Dr. House: Brilliant. She'll never suspect that Normandy is our target.

Dr. House: on phone Go all in.
Dr. Wilson: You obviously want to bust me. Why, why would you...
Dr. House: Either you go all in or I tell everyone in the building that you wear toenail polish.
Dr. Wilson: beat I'm all in.

referring to House's patient from 12 years ago
Dr. Wilson: Have you read Moby Dick?
Dr. House: It was a book?
Dr. Wilson: It was ten years ago.
Dr. House: Twelve.
Dr. Wilson: Obsession is dangerous.
Dr. House: Only if you're on a wooden ship and your obsession is a whale. I think I'm in the clear.
Dr. Wilson: You do realize it's a metaphor?
Dr. House: You do realize that the point of metaphors is to scare people from doing things by telling them that something much scarier is going to happen, than what will really happen? God, I wish I had a metaphor to explain that better.

Cameron, Chase, and Foreman enter
Dr. Cameron: about the patient We've got rectal bleeding.
Dr. House: What, all of you?

Dr. Cuddy: finding House sleeping You've seen one patient in the last two hours.
Dr. House: Complicated case. I'm a night owl, Wilson's an early bird. We're different species.
Dr. Cuddy: Then move him into his own cage.
Dr. House: Who'll clean the droppings from mine?

Dr. Cameron: Do you have any idea what it feels like to have a six-foot long hose shoved into your large intestine?
Dr. House: No, but I now have a much greater respect for whichever basketball player you dated in college.

Dr. Cameron: Was this just one of your experiments? You just wanted to see how I'd react to being screwed over by Foreman?
Dr. House: Nice idea, but no. This was just good old-fashioned laziness. Gotta hand it to Foreman, though—he knew that you're a suck-up and I don't give a crap. He successfully exploited us both.
Dr. Cameron: Right—we're both victims. A simple heads up, that's all I needed. Maybe between your incredibly witty remarks about anal sex and Cuddy's breasts, you could've tipped me off.
Dr. House: Then I'd have Foreman pissed at me, and as annoying as you could be, at least I know you're not gonna pop a cap in my ass. Witty, huh?

Dr. Cameron: If we want this to not get in the way of our friendship, I think we both have to apologize and put it behind us.
Dr. Foreman: I like you, really... we have a good time working together. But ten years from now, we're not gonna be hanging out, having dinners. Maybe we'll exchange Christmas cards, say "hi", give a hug if we're at the same conference... we're not friends, we're colleagues... and I don't have anything to apologize for.

Dr. Cameron: Depriving her of what little sleep she has, that's torture.
Dr. House: So is cutting people with knives. You can totally get away with that if you have a doctor's coat on.

Dr. Cameron: If she talks, if she does the decent thing, then you don't get to solve your puzzle, your game's over, and you lose.
Dr. House: Yeah. I want to save her. I'm morally bankrupt.

Patient: I have The Plague?
Dr. House: Don't worry, its treatable. Being a bitch, though... nothing we can do about that.

Dr. House: You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.

Paraphrase of Thomas Szasz, "If you talk to God, you are praying; If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. If the dead talk to you, you are a spiritualist; If you talk to the dead, you are a schizophrenic." (The Second Sin, Anchor/Doubleday, Garden City, NY. 1973, Page 113)

Dr. House: Isn't it interesting... religious behaviour is so close to being crazy that we can't tell them apart.

Dr. House: I fear for the human race. A teenager claims to be the voice of God and people with advanced degrees are listening.

Dr. Chase: You're gonna talk to a patient?
Dr. House: God talks to him. It'd be arrogant of me to assume that I'm better than God.

Dr. House: So, you're a faith healer. Or is that a pejorative? Do you prefer something like "divine health management"?

Boyd: The nurses talk about you a lot.
Dr. House: Don't believe them. I keep a sock in my pants.

Boyd: God says you look for excuses to be alone.
Dr. House: See, that is exactly the kind of brilliance that sounds deep, but you could say it about any person who doesn't pine for the social approval of everyone he meets - which you were cleverly able to deduce about me by not being a moron. Next time, tell God to be more specific.

Boyd: I knew they'd send somebody else.
Dr. House: That God has a big mouth.

Dr. House: Tie goes to the mortal.

Boyd: I have a gift!
Dr. House: A gift is jewelry, socks - what you have is herpes encephalitis.

Boyd: Dad, we have to have faith...
Walter: I have faith in the Lord. You, I much as you can trust a teenage boy.

Dr. Wilson: House! Why the hell did you let an unstable patient wander the hallways?!
Dr. House: His leash broke.

Dr. House: You know, I get it if people are just looking for a way to fill the holes. But they want the holes; they want to live in the holes. And they go nuts when someone else pours dirt in their holes. Climb out of your holes, people!!

Dr. Chase: to House The honor of working for you is not worth a felony charge.

Dr. Wilson: Can this wait five minutes?
Dr. House: Is she dying?
Dr. Wilson: Yes.
Dr. House: Before the end of this consult?
Dr. Wilson: They could build monuments to your self-centeredness.

Dr. House: Gotta go—building full of sick people. If I can hurry, maybe I can avoid them.

Dr. House: He is not a saint. He figures out what's going on in people's lives by watching, listening, deducing...
Dr. Wilson: And you're worried about trademark infringement?
Dr. House: Then he passes on advice from God so he can watch them jump. It's a power trip.
Dr. Wilson: Ah, and there the similarities end.

Dr. Wilson: And that's why religious belief annoys you. Because if the universe operates by abstract rules you can learn them, you can protect yourself. If a Supreme Being exists he can squash you any time he wants.
Dr. House: He knows where I am.

Doing Introductions
Dr. House: Wilson! This is Dry Cleaner Guy. Tax Accountant. Guy from the bus stop. This is Wilson.
Dry Cleaner: How come he gets a name?
Dr. House: Seniority.

after House has revealed Wilson's illicit relationship with a patient
Dr. Wilson: Tell them my name isn't Wilson!
Dr. House: His name's not Wilson. And he's more screwed up than I am.

Dr. House: He did however get hit with a bullet. Just mentioning.
Dr. Cameron: He was shot?
Dr. House: No, somebody threw it at him.

House is trying to MRI a corpse with a bullet in its head. Cuddy walks in
Dr. Cuddy: I can't even imagine the backwards logic you used to rationalize shooting a corpse.
Dr. House: Well if I'd shot a live person there's a lot more paperwork.
Dr. Cuddy: Then it won't be a problem for you to stand besides the casket at the wake and explain why a cancer patient has a bullet hole in his head.
Dr. House: The man donated his body to science. Yes, it's a tragedy. If I hadn't shot him his body could have spent the next year letting first year med students use the carpool lane.
Dr. Chase: He's set.
Dr. Cuddy: Do not turn that on, House!
Dr. House: You're mad because I put a bullet in his head. If it works, all I'm doing now is taking it out.
House turns on the MRI. The lights go out, the bullet fragments fly out of the corpse into the machine, and the team is left standing in the emergency lights.
Dr. House: My bad.

(House has just shot a corpse.)
Man: peering in Did anyone just hear a—?
Dr. House: I shot him! He's dead!

Dr. Cameron: The chance of getting infected is next to nothing.
Dr. House: I was never good at math, but next to nothing is greater than nothing.

Dr. Chase: What are you doing?
Dr. House: checking corpses' toe tags I called my mom. She didn't pick up.

Dr. Foreman: According to Babyshoes, the cop was laughing before he got shot.
Dr. Cameron: Babyshoes?
Dr. Foreman: The guy who shot him.
Dr. Cameron: Reliable witness.
Dr. House: His name's Babyshoes, how bad can he be?

Dr. Foreman: What's Dr. Cameron wearing?
Joe: looks over Cameron Dark blue pants, white shirt, black shoes.
Dr. Foreman: Oh! Almost, except for the pants, shirt, and shoes. You're blind.

Dr. Cameron: Referring to Foreman He doesn't like cops.
Dr. House: Very sarcastic Foreman, policemen are our friends. If you and I are ever separated shopping...

Dr. House: Saying there appears to be clotting is like saying there's a traffic jam up ahead. Is it a ten-car pile up, or just a really slow bus in the center lane? And if it is a bus, is it a thrombotic bus or an embolic bus? ... I think I pushed that metaphor too far.

Dr. House: sitting on the chair Why doesn't anyone listen to me anymore?
Dr. Cameron: I decided you were wrong.
Dr. House: God you're weak. Guy steals your article, tells you you're not his friend. You still wanna risk your life for him.
cuts to Cameron taking off the suit
Dr. Cameron: Foreman broke my skin with a tainted needle.
cuts back for a House closeup
Dr. House: Wow.
Dr. Cameron: Yeah.
Dr. House: God you're weak. Cameron rolls her eyes Guy tried to kill you. First thing on my list of things do would be to stab him back. Shoot him. Got a gun in my desk. Last thing would be on my list would be to lie to my boss about it and give the bastard everything he wanted.
Dr. Cameron: I'm not here for Foreman, I'm here to save myself.
Dr. House: Eh... Even with a needle stick your chances of infection are pretty slim. That's why you're wearing the suit. You wanted to be here. He just gave you the excuse. What does that guy have to do to make you hate him?

Dr. Foreman:Whoa, whoa. You think I'm sick?
Dr. House: I think that an appropriate response to watching your boss shoot a corpse is not to grin foolishly
Dr. Foreman: The fact that I've grown bored by your insanity is proof of nothing.
Dr. House: speaking over intercom Dr. Foreman, Dr. Chase requests your assistance.

Dr. Foreman is having brain surgery while Dr. Chase shows up some geometrical pictures, but it takes some time for the answer about the last image
Dr. Chase: Foreman. Why haven't yet you answer? Is there a problem?
Dr. Foreman: S-square
Dr. House: Tell me your date of birth
Dr. Foreman: Is that House?
Dr. Chase: Yes. Next?
Dr. Foreman: surprised but unable to move by head restrains Square again. Why is he here?
Dr. House: Because my neurologist is having surgery
Dr. Foreman: I thought I was another patient
Dr. House: You didn't believe that crap. Did you? while inserts a needle into Dr. Foreman's brain Date of birth
Dr. Foreman: The Ommaya reservoir is inserted in the parietal lobe. My spacial recognition is the issue, not my memory
Dr. House: Oops! Did you say Ommaya? I could swear you said biopsy. Hey! I'm just messing with your head. Mother's maiden name, please
Dr. Foreman: while tries to look at Dr. House, who is standing behind and taking a sample Get out of my temporal lobe, House

House leads Dr. Foreman's father into Dr. Cuddy's office
Dr. Cuddy: What is this?
Dr. House: He's not a what, he's a who. They even have the right to vote now.

Dr. Cameron: Foreman is black.
Dr. House: What?! How long have you been sitting on this information?

Rodney Foreman: My son says you're a manipulative bastard.
Dr. House: It's just a pet name. I call him "Dr. Bling".

House makes ghost-like sounds to amuse a child patient
Little Girl Patient: You're a goof.
Dr. House: Takes one to know one, loser. Patient's mother looks at House in shock Wait, that means I'm a loser. Scratch that.

House talks to Concerned Mom who thinks that her daughter has epilepsy
Dr. House: In actuality all your little girl is doing is... saying yoo hoo to the hoo hoo.
Concerned Mom: She's what?
Dr. House: Marching the penguin... ya ya-ing the sisterhood... finding Nemo?
Little Girl Patient: giggles That was funny.
Dr. House: It's called gratification disorder, sort of a misnomer. If one was unable to gratify oneself, that would be a disorder.
Concerned Mom:covering little girl's ears Are you saying she's masturbating?
Dr. House: making fun of the mother by talking out of the corner of his mouth so the little girl supposedly won't see that he's talking I was trying to be discreet. There's a child in the room.

Dr. Foreman: Foreman wakes up to find House examining him while Cameron and his father watch I'm okay.
Dr. House: Your breath stinks, and you're peeing into a bag. What are our names?
Dr. Foreman: looks at Cameron: Cameron...
he then turns to see his father
Dr. Foreman: Dad...
turns to House
Dr. Foreman: Manipulative Bastard...
Dr. House: Awwww, you remembered.

Cuddy has gone to see Foreman in Isolation
Dr. Foreman: Why are you here?
Dr. Cuddy: Because you're a friend, and I should be here.
Dr. Foreman: sits up I'm sorry House used my Dad to try and manipulate you. You've got integrity, you aren't going to change your mind just because you're confronted by my father.
Dr. Cuddy: Thank you.
Dr. Foreman: angry Just like I'm not gonna forgive you just because you come by here and ask how I'm feeling!
Dr. Cuddy: You know I've had no choice.
Dr. Foreman: Of course you had a choice!
Dr. Cuddy: Regulations are clear.
Dr. Foreman: And the punishment for violating those regulations? Is it death? Hmm? Because frankly, I'm okay if you get a fine, a suspension... hell, you can spend a couple of years in jail, if it saves my life!

House has tried to infect his pet rat with the disease that's killing Foreman, and says he'll do a brain biopsy once Steve starts showing symptoms

Dr. Wilson: You mean once he dies.
Dr. House: Well, as soon as he starts showing symptoms there's a good chance he'll be hit on the head by a, uh, cane-shaped object.

Dr. House: Unless Chase broke his neck falling off his polo pony, he has no reason to be in the E.R.

Dr. House: Seizures are cool to watch, but boring to diagnose.

Dr. House: to Foreman Glad you're back. Cameron makes lousy coffee. I take mine black, the way I take my brain-damaged neurologists.

Dr. House: What are you doing?
Dr. Wilson: PCR Test.
Dr. House: You're doing it yourself. In the middle of the night. On a spoon. Cuddy's spoon.
Dr. Wilson: I'm checking her saliva for cancer markers.
Dr. House: Yeah... I do that after all of my dates too. People think you're the nice one.

Dr. House: Tonight.
Dr. Wilson: What?
Dr. House: "L Word" Marathon.
Dr. Wilson: You watch "The L Word?"
Dr. House: On mute.

Dr. House: trying to get a rise out of Foreman I'm telling you, I'm going to drop the N-bomb if I have to.
Dr. Foreman: You're addicted to conflict.
Dr. House: looks at his Vicodin bottle Did they change the name?

Dr. House: Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one.

Dr. House: You don't have cancer.
Dr. Cuddy: You don't have dwarfism.
Dr. House: You have no proof of that.

Dr. House: Bad news... estrogen is too high.
Dr. Cuddy: No matter how many people you tell otherwise, I am, and always have been, a woman.

Dr. House: It's great you can look beyond the fact she Cuddy is the devil.
Dr. Wilson: I stole a spoon. You stole her garbage.
Dr. House: She's my boss. She gets sick, the hospital might replace her. Especially if she dies. I'd have to learn how to manipulate someone new.
Dr. Wilson: Whoa. I think I'm gonna cry.

Dr. Foreman: I assumed you took the father into consideration.
Dr. House: What's that saying? "When you assume, you become a pain in the ass to me."

Dr. Wilson: So does this guy have pictures of you being nice to him?

Dr. House: Don't try to talk. You have a big medical thing in your mouth.

Dr. House: She looks just like you. You have the same fro.

Dr. Wilson: Are you trying to end this discussion by grossing me out? I'm an oncologist, most of my patients have their skin sloughing off.

Dr. House: How does somebody who believes absolutely anything become a non-fiction writer?

Dr. Cameron: I can handle a simple consent form.
Dr. House: Okay, I'll be Crandall. Dr. Cameron—
Dr. Foreman: House, from what you say this guy will trust you—
Dr. House: Are you in this scene? Go.
Dr. Cameron: I need to talk to you about a procedure we'd like to do on Leona.
Dr. House: Like to do? Is this fun for you?
Dr. Cameron: He's not you; he's not going to mock me.
Dr. House: Stay in character. I'm so scared; hold me.

Crandall: Heard about your leg.
Dr. House: Yeah, pulled my hamstring playing Twister. Just gonna walk it off.

Dr. Cuddy: Need you. Now.
Dr. House: (in a deep voice) Yes, Mistress.

Dr. Wilson: You didn't run the test?
Dr. House: Said I wouldn't.
Dr. Wilson: Okay, so either you lied, or he has pictures of you being nice.

Dr. House: Donor 1284 likes square dancing. No one likes square dancing.

Dr. House: (on answering machine) You've reached a number that has been disconnected and is no longer in service. If you feel you've reached this recording in error, go with it. Hang up, on three. One, two...beep
Dr. Cuddy: House, pick up. I know it's your day off. And you've no doubt got lots of exciting plans, but I've got a case.

Dr. House: She needed to be hurt. I wanted to hurt her. Win-win.

Jack Moriarty: Which one of you is Dr. House?
Dr. House: Skinny brunette.
Jack Moriarty: That's Dr. Cameron.
Dr. House: I'm skinny. How'd you know who she was?
Jack Moriarty: I'm an old patient of yours.
Dr. House: Oh, well, leave the chocolates downstairs.
(Moriarty pulls out a gun and shoots House)

Jack Moriarty: (House is on the ground, having just been shot by Moriarty) Shocking, isn't it? Who'd wanna hurt you?

Dr. House: I got shot, diagnostically boring. Big fat tongue, on the other hand, endlessly entertaining.

Dr. House: He's got a temperature of 103.
Dr. Foreman: And why do we care?
Dr. House: Because we're human beings. It's what we do. Said he was at a luncheon meeting.
Dr. Cameron: You took his history?!
Dr. House: Guy looks like Harpo. You should see him.
Dr. Chase: You asked him what book he's currently reading.
Dr. House: It's hilarious to watch him try and talk. I asked him anything I could think of. Favorite color? "Bwuu."
(Cut to clinic.)
Dr. House: Favorite dessert topping? (The patient hesitates.) Trust me, you'll never know what fact may be the key to saving your life.
Vincent: Whip cweam.

Dr. House: Yeah. Killer needs his rest. Otherwise he's grumpy all day. (House bangs on Jack's bed with his cane.) Hey! Wake up! Watch me save a life!

Dr. House: You shoot the guy who sold her the gun?
Jack: She locked herself in the garage and she started the car.
Dr. House: You shoot the guy who sold her the garage door opener?

Jack: You pretend to buck the system, pretend to be a rebel, claim to hate rules. (We see that House is sleeping) But all you do is substitute your own rules for society's. Now it's a nice, simple rule— tell the blunt, honest truth in the starkest, darkest way. And what will be, will be. And what will be, should be. And everyone else... is a coward. But you're wrong. It's not cowardly not to call someone an idiot. People aren't tactful, or polite just because it's nice. They do it... because they've got an ounce of humility. Because they know that they will make mistakes, and they know that their actions have consequences. And they know... that those consequences will be their fault. Why do you want so badly not to be human, House? (Cameron and Foreman enter and see House looking asleep.) Oh, he's awake.
Dr. Cameron: House, we need to talk to you.
Dr. House: How the hell did you know I was awake?
Jack: Your nostrils flare when you sleep.
Dr. House: They do not.
Jack: Fine, I'm lying.

Vince: You want to let a robot operate on me?
Dr. Cameron: The technology is amazing. It magnifies everything ten times, it's ten times the accuracy.
Vince: No way, I want a person!
Dr. Cameron: A person will be controlling the—
Dr. House: People suck. People have turned you from a guy with a swollen tongue into a guy with one eye, one ball and a stapled-on face. If you want someone to hold you while you cry yourself to sleep at night, choose warm and soft. If you want someone to write you a poem, pick the sensitive loner. If all you care about is that something's done right, pick the guy with the metal head.

Jack: You've wasted your life.
Dr. House: Yeah. If only I'd dedicated my life to finding someone worthy to shoot.

Dr. House: Okay, I'll be you guys: (mocking Dr. Chase) "No way, mate, too much blood to just be a vein!" (mocking Dr. Foreman) "No way, hizzy! If it was an artery, he'd still be bleeding." (mocking Dr. Cameron) "Actually, he'd be dead." (pathetic face)

Dr. House: See? I couldn't have done that if I was dead.

Dr. House: Where are you going?
Dr. Foreman: You're an ass.
Dr. House: I know. Where are you going?

Dr. Cuddy: There are plenty of reasons to administer...
Dr. House: Fine, I'll just go and beat the truth out of my surgeon. Gillick, right?

Dr. Wilson: You don't want a healthy leg.
Dr. House: Ohh, here we go.
Dr. Wilson: If you've got a good life, if you're healthy, you've got no reason to bitch; no reason to hate life.
Dr. House: Well here's the flaw in your argument. If I enjoy hating life I don't hate life, I enjoy it.
Dr. Wilson: I didn't say it was rational. HIV testing is 99 accurate, which means there are some people who test positive who live with their own impending doom for months or years before finding out everything is okay. Weirdly, most of them don't react with happiness or even anger - they get depressed. Not because they wanted to die but because they've defined themselves by their disease. Suddenly, what made them, them, isn't real.
Dr. House: I don't define myself by my leg.
Dr. Wilson: No-o, you have taken it one step further. The only way you could come to terms with your disability was to somehow make it mean nothing. So you had to redefine everything. You have dismissed anything physical. Anything not coldly, calculatingly intellectual.

Dr. Wilson: No, I mean right now. background music stops Are you hallucinating?

Dr. Wilson: So if there's no diagnostic issue why are you taking the case?
Dr. House: ...Treatment can be interesting.
Dr. Wilson: Not to you.
Dr. House: I've changed.
Dr. Wilson: No you haven't.
Dr. House: immediately No I haven't.

Dr. House: leaning over the end of the patient's bed Don't worry, I'm not going to burn you again. I'm going to reveals needle STAB YOU!

Dr. Cameron: We should give her a local.
Dr. House: That would defeat the purpose of me being nasty.

Dr. Wilson: You really don't give a crap, do you?
Dr. House: Does that make me evil?
Dr. Wilson: Yeah.

Dr. Wilson: The reason we crave meaning is because it makes us happy. The first level of happiness... House walks away I'm not going away.

Dr. Wilson: The fifth level of happiness involves Creation, changing lives.
Dr. House: The sixth level is heroin, the seventh level is you going away.

Caren Krause: Scurvy? Like what sailors get when they don't eat right?
Dr. Foreman: Aye aye.

Arlene: I'm taking care of him for the same reason you helped us.
Dr. House: Some guy shot you and you hallucinated?

Dr. House: I don't remember you being this bitchy.
Dr. Wilson: The Vicodin dulled it. In the sober light of day, I'm a buzz-kill.

Dr. Wilson: Just because he was right, doesn't mean he wasn't wrong.
Dr. Cuddy: I see him every day. I can't just —
Dr. Wilson: Everybody lies.

Dr. Cameron: You're lucky he didn't die.
Dr. House: I'm lucky? He's the one who didn't die.

House has just run all the way from his home to the hospital
Dr. Cuddy: Why did you...?
Dr. House: Why does a dog lick its workplace-acceptable euphemism for testicles?
Dr. Wilson: Because he can.

Dr. House: Inject him with cortisol. He'll have sex with his wife again! He'll hug his kid again! Hopefully that's the combination he was using... be a shame if I cured a pedophile.

Dr. Cuddy: Twenty-four times a year you come storming into my office spouting that you can help someone. Except you never say those words. You say something like, "His pancreas is going to explode because his brain is on fire!"

Dr. House: So you're saying Chase did screw up.
Dr. Chase: Or Foreman screwed up.
Dr. Foreman: Big hand points to minutes, maybe you got them mixed up.
Dr. House: Oh snap, Foreman is playing the dozens. You're at a huge cultural disadvantage here, Chase. Take a couple minutes here and think of a witty retort.
Dr. Chase: Hey Foreman, your momma's so fat that when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up.

Video Games:

Tales of Eternia:

'Keele, you can’t live without Meredy, can you?' - Chat

'I can't wait until we get home... To stuff myself with your omelettes!' - Reid

'"Were you the ones who called me?"
"No, I don't think we called you..."
-Reid is knocked down by Farah and Keele'

"Where is Undine Stream! Before you ask, why don't you try to find it yourself! That's what a map is for."

"How do we get to Peruti? Don't tell me! Not THAT thing again!"

'"Can't anyone do anything about this guy?"
"I already gave up!" - Coreena and Meredy, carrying Keele from a MASSIVE tidal wave cause he was reading. Aww, that's so sweet (Sense sarcasm when you see it... hear it... whatever)

Kingdom Hearts & Kingdom Hearts 2:

'A scattered dream that’s like a far-off memory.
A far-off memory that’s like a scattered dream.
I want to line the pieces up- yours and mine...'

' "I hate you so much..."
"You should share some of that hatred with Sora. He's far to nice for his own good."
"No! My heart belongs to me!" ' - Roxas and Ansem

'Thinking of you, wherever you are...
We pray for our sorrows to end
and hope that our hearts will blend
now I will step forward to realize this wish
and who knows, staring a new journey may not be so hard
or maybe it's already begun
there are many worlds, but they share the same sky.
One sky, one destiny.' -Kairi

You said we'd meet again, but when we did, we might not recognize each other... I think I understand. I see myself the way you remember me. And you see yourself the way I remember you.



'That's the sort of question I begin to expect from you. One to which there is no good answer.' -Roiben

The Wheel of Time:

All your dead are belong to us!
-a very confused Ishamael

One pretty woman means fun at the dance. Two pretty women mean trouble in the house. Three pretty women mean run for the hills.
-Abel Cauthon

The Wheel grinds exceedingly fine over three thousand years imprisoned.

Till shade is gone, till water is gone,
into the Shadow with teeth bared,
screaming defiance with the last breath,
to spit in Sightblinder's eye on the last Day.

-Aiel Oath

It is the enemy you underestimate that kills you.

Are you so eager to destroy us?
-Amys, to Rand al'Thor

You know the Prophecies! When the Dragon is reborn, your worst nightmares will seem like your fondest memories!
-an Emond's Fielder

But trust is the color of a dark seed growing.
Trust is the color of a heart's blood flowing.
Trust is the color of a soul's last breath.
Trust is the color of death.
-ancient song

The leaf lives its appointed time,and does not struggle against the wind that carries it away. The leaf does no harm, and finally falls to nourish new leaves. So it should be with all men. And women.

They killed Mother! I saw them! I might have saved her, if I had a sword. I could have saved her!

Graendal killed me.

You? No!

A quick death is better than what I'll find elsewhere.

When a woman says she will obey you, of her own will, it is time to sleep lightly and watch your back.
-Asmodean, to Rand al'Thor

We rode on the winds of the rising storm
We ran to the sounds of the thunder
We danced among the lightning bolts
And tore the world asunder.

-Attributed to the Dragon Reborn

Yes, Rand al'Thor. I hate you with all of my heart. I do. And I always will.

Men always believe they are in control of everything around them. When they find out they are not, they think they have failed, instead of learning a simple truth women already know.

Death comes for us all. We can only chose how to face it when it comes.

If you try putting a woman on a horse when she does not want to go, she may put a knife in your ribs.
-Aviendha, to Mat Cauthon

Only now change blows on the winds of time. Change. This time there is no drifting back.

Three threads woven together share one another's doom. When one is cut, all are. Fate can kill you if it does not do worse.

Some commands are too important to be known even by those who carry them out.
-Ba'alzamon, to Bors

Let the algai'd'siswai dance. Dead vipers bite no one.

Wounds to the pride are remembered long after wounds to the flesh.

The Three-fold Land is not soft, Aes Sedai. Soft things die here.

I think the woman was born in Far Madding in a thunderstorm. She probably told the thunder to be quiet. It probably did.
-Basil Gill, referring to Lini

Forward the White Lion of Andor!
-battle cry of the Queen's Guard

Blessed be the name of the Lord Dragon in the Light.
-benediction from the Prophet in Ghealdan

I will see Mayene and all its ships burn before one Tairen lord sets foot in my city.
-Berelain sur Paendrag

I always get what I want in the end. And I think I want ... ornamental ironwork. For the windows of my bedchamber.
-Berelain sur Paendrag

Mat won't corrupt Beslan. I doubt nine feather dancers with a shipload of brandy could corrupt him. They wouldn't know where to begin.

If you must mount the gallows, give a jest to the crowd, a coin to the hangman, and make the drop with a smile on your lips.

Lead me to this oosquai of yours, Aviendha. I don’t know about you two, but I intend to get drunk enough to…well…to take off my clothes and dance on the table. And not a hair drunker.
-Birgitte, to Aviendha and Min

You always choose women who cause you trouble, Lews Therin.
-Birgitte, to Rand al'Thor

I swear if one more of you monkeys submits "blood and ashes" as a quote...
-Captain Psyko, in the Wot Message Board

The lions sing and the hills take flight.
The moon by day, and the sun by night.
Blind woman, deaf man, jackdaw fool.
Let the Lord of Chaos rule.

-chant from a children's game heard in Great Aravalon, the Fourth Age

The Children have authority wherever the Light is, witch, and where the Light is not, we bring it.
-Dain Bornhald

Only a fool thinks his enemies stand still when he isn't looking, my Lord Dragon
-Damer Flinn

Do you have any idea how long it takes to dig graves for twenty-three oak trees?
-Davram Bashere

I guess being ta'veren isn't all cheese and ale.
-Davram Bashere, to Rand al'Thor

I returned from my ride to find two strange men ransacking our tent. They drew daggers, so naturally, I hit one of them with a chair and stabbed the other.
-Deira Bashere, to Davram Bashere

Any day you wake up, maybe you die.

Quit submitting "Blood and bloody ashes!"

You are no longer beautiful, I fear, sweetling...I think you may even be ugly when you are older. But I always enjoyed your eyes more than your face. And your hands.
-Edeyn, Lan's carneira

Stopping a man from what he wants to do is like taking a sweet from a child. Sometimes you have to do it, but sometimes it just isn't worth the trouble.
-Egwene al'Vere

My mother always told me the best way to learn to deal with a man was to learn to ride a mule. She said they have about equal brains most of the time.Sometimes the mule is smarter.
-Egwene al'Vere

I must look like a drowned rat!
-Egwene al'Vere

You put your cat in your hat and stuff it down your breeches, Rand al'Thor.
-Egwene al'Vere

If a woman does need a hero, she needs him today, not tomorrow.
-Egwene al'Vere

If you fell head first into a pigsty, you'd try to convince everybody you did it on purpose.
-Egwene al'Vere to Nynaeve al'Meara

Nynaeve, admitting she had been a fool? She almost looked to see whether the sun has turned green!
-Elayne Trakand

If I had told Mother I think you are handsome, she certainly would have had you locked in a cell.
-Elayne Trakand, to Rand al'Thor

You will have to help me with my buttons, I cannot take this dress off by myself.
-Elayne Trakand, to Rand al'Thor

Women do not become exhausted, they only exhaust others.
-Elder Haman

I had to kill a couple of Warders. Bad business, that, killing Warders. Don't like it.
-Elyas Machera

Sooner or later there's always trouble when there's two humans together.
-Elyas Machera

The Red Ajah, those that like hunting for men who mess with the One Power, they wanted to gentle me, once. I told them to their faces they were Black Ajah; served the Dark One, I said, and they didn't like that at all.
-Elyas Machera

Run when you have to, fight when you must, rest when you can.
-Elyas Machera

I hope you're not Darkfriends. I don't like killing people after I've fed them.
-Elyas Machera, to Perrin and Egwene

You'll use it, boy, and as long as you hate using it, you will use it more wisely than most men would. Wait. If ever you don't hate it any longer, then will be the time to throw it as far as you can and run the other way.
-Elyas Machera, to Perrin Aybara

I think it was the rooster. Wetlander humor is strange.

We'll get you both warm and dry, my Lady, and right into something suitable for meeting mercenaries.
-Essende, to Elayne and Aviendha

-everyone, but mostly Mat

The worst sin a general can commit, worse than blundering, worse than losing, worse than anything, is to desert the men who depend on him.
-Faile Bashere

Men fight when they should run, and fools fight when they should run. But I had no need to say it twice.
-Faile Bashere

I'll not have you bleeding to death on me. That would be just like you, to die and leave me the work of burying you. You have no consideration.
-Faile Bashere, to Perrin

I will find the song, or another will find the song, but the song will be sung this year or in a year to come. As it once was, so shall it be agian, world whitout end.
-farewell among the Tuatha'an

You may have any place you wish, so long as it is not larger than mine.
-fateful words of the first king of Illian

Clear the field, smooth it low,
Let no weed or stubble stand,
Here we labor, here we toil,
Here the towering trees will grow.

-from an Ogier song

I do have a sense of humor.

A Myrddraal has less cunning that a woman, and a Trolloc fights with more honor.

We all must wake from the dream one day, Perrin Aybara.

As well try to understand the sun, Perrin. It simply is, and it is not to be understood. You cannot live without it, but it exacts a price. So with women.

When you wish for so long that you could hear something, and then suddenly, without warning, you do, it is like a lightning strike and rain on parched ground. You're stunned but you cannot hear enough.
-Gawyn Trakand

He is born again! I feel him! The Dragon takes his first breath on the slope of Dragonmount! He is coming! He is coming! Light help us! Light help the world! He lies in the snow and cries like the thunder! He burns like the sun!
-Gitara Moroso

We all seek the coin of knowledge.
-Hadnan Kadere

I suspected it might come to you and me. You are young. Let us see what is required to earn the heron on this side of the ocean.
-High Lord Turak, to Rand al'Thor

Thus is our treaty written; thus is agreement made. Thought is the arrow of time; memory never fades. What was asked is given; the price is paid.
-inscription on Mat's ashandarei

The grave is no bar to my call.
-inscription on the Horn of Valere

La Rueda del Tiempo gira, y las eras llegan y pasan y dejan tras de si recuerdos que se convierten en leyenda. La leyenda se difumina, deviene mito, e incluso el mito se ha olvidado mucho antes de que la era que lo vio nacer retorne de nuevo...
-introdución para La Rueda del Tiempo

Ajan Pyörä pyörii, ja aikakaudet tulevat ja menevät jättäen jälkeensä muistoja, joista legendat syntyvät. Legenda haalistuu myytiksi, ja myyttikin vaipuu unohduksiin, kunnes jälleen koittaa aikakausi, joka sen loi.
-introduction to the Eye of the World, in Finnish

I en ålder, av somliga kallad Tredje Åldern, en ålder som ännu skulle komma och som länge var förbi, uppstod en vind i Dimbergen. Vinden var inte början. Det finns varken början eller slut när Tidens Hjul vrider sig. Men det var en början.
-introduction to The Eye of the World, in Swedish

Tidens hjul vrider sig. Åldrar kommer och åldrar går, och de efterlämnar minnen, som blir legender. Legenderna bleknar till myter, och till och med myten är sedan länge glömd när den ålder som var dess upphov återkommer.
-introduction to The Eye of the World, in Swedish

La Ruota del Tempo gira e le Epoche si susseguono, lasciando ricordi che diventano leggenda; la leggenda sbiadisce nel mito, ma anche il mito é ormai dimenticato, quando ritorna l'Epoca che lo vide nascere.
-introduzione alla Ruota del Tempo (introduction in Italian)

I was never very skilled at Healing, and I follow a different power now.

You cannot escape so easily, Dragon. It is not done between us. It will not be done until the end of time.

The dead belong to me!

You can have her back, Kinslayer. The Great Lord of the Dark can make her live again, if you will serve him. If you will serve me.

I have seen a strong man break when I sent for a basket of figs and some mice.
-Juilin Sandar

"No it is not out yet"
-Lady from the bookstore

I think poor Jaichim has finally had enough brandy.
-Lady Shiaine

We are alike in many ways, you and I. There is a darkness in us. Darkness, pain, death. They radiate from us. If ever you love a woman, Rand, leave her and let her find another. It will be the best gift you can give her.
-Lan Mandragoran

An Aes Sedai, if she really was one, and a Cairhienin? There could be no worse combination.
-Lan Mandragoran

In war, you say a prayer for your dead and ride on, because there is always another fight over the next horizon.
-Lan Mandragoran

All men dream. But I know dreams for dreams. This is reality.
-Lan Mandragoran

The fact that the price must be paid is proof that it is worth paying.
-Lan Mandragoran

My humility is honed to razor sharpness. You never let it grow too dull.
-Lan Mandragoran

He had to get that odd little woman out of his head, although she seemed to have lodged herself inside his skull, somehow.
-Lan Mandragoran

The rose petal floats on water,
the kingfisher flashes above the pond.
Life and beauty swirl in the midst of death.

-Lan Mandragoran

It was a good day to die
-Lan Mandragoran

Never watch a death you don't have to.
-Lan Mandragoran

He was better. But he thought I was finished, with only one arm. He never understood. You surrender after you’re dead.
-Lan Mandragoran

Death comes sooner or later to everyone unless they serve the Dark One, and only fools are willing to pay that price.
-Lan Mandragoran

You can never know everything, and part of what you know is always wrong. Perhaps even the most important part. A portion of wisdom lies in knowing that. A portion of courage lies in going on anyways.
-Lan Mandragoran

I will hate the man you choose because he is not me, and love him if he makes you smile.
-Lan Mandragoran, to Nynaeve al'Meara

I will make you a gift and you will take it if I have to chain it around your neck.
-Lan Mandragoran, to Nynaeve al'Meara

You have made a place in my heart where I thought there was no room for anything else. You have made flowers grow where I cultivated dust and stones. Remember this, on this journey you insist on making. If you die, I will not survive you long.
-Lan Mandragoran, to Nynaeve al'Meara

A wolfhound must be a wolfhound in the wolf's eyes even more than in his own, if he is to survive.
-Lan Mandragoran, to Rand al'Thor

Whatever you can do, Lews Therin, I can do. And better.

I can show a tender, woman's heart when I choose.

If you are not mine, then you are dead.
-Lanfear, to Rand al'Thor

You are sealed to us now.
-last line of the ceremony that raises a novice to an accepted, spoken by the Amrylin

The Wheel of Time and the wheel of a man's life turn alike without pity or mercy.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Oh, Light, why do I have a madman in my head? Why? Why?
-Lews Therin Telamon

Where are all the dead? Why will they not be silent?
-Lews Therin Telamon

Take what you have. Rejoice in what you can save, and do not mourn your losses too long.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Are you real? Am I?
-Lews Therin Telamon

What you have is not what you want; what you want is what you cannot have
-Lews Therin Telamon

If it hurts too much, make it hurt someone else instead.
-Lews Therin Telamon

I would not mind you in my head, if you were not so clearly mad.
-Lews Therin Telamon

The dead watch. The dead never close their eyes.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Watching. Watching. I see you. Who sees me?
-Lews Therin Telamon

We all make our limits, and we set them further out than we have any right.
-Lews Therin Telamon

A woman who knows the danger and isn’t afraid is a treasure only a madman would spurn.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Most women will shrug off what a man would kill you for, and kill you for what a man would shrug off.
-Lews Therin Telamon

To destroy, or be destroyed. When that's your choice, is there a difference?
-Lews Therin Telamon

The only way to live is to die.
-Lews Therin Telamon

What I love, I destroy. What I destroy, I love.
-Lews Therin Telamon

I am not dead! I deserve death, but I am alive! Alive! Alive!
-Lews Therin Telamon

How many have died for my pride? How many have died for my mistakes?
-Lews Therin Telamon

You never escape the traps you spin yourself. Only a greater power can break a power, and then you're trapped again. Trapped forever so you cannot die.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Dead men should be quiet in their graves, but they never are.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Death rides on my shoulder, death walks in my footsteps; I am death...
-Lews Therin Telamon

I killed the whole world, and you can too, if you try hard.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Only a fool thinks a lion or a woman can truly be tamed.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Madness waits for some. It creeps up on others.
-Lews Therin Telamon

A man who trusts everyone is a fool, and a man who trusts no one is a fool. We are all fools if we live long enough.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Eagles and women can only be kept safe in cages.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Nothing ever goes as you expect. Expect nothing, and you will not be surprised. Expect nothing. Hope for nothing. Nothing.
-Lews Therin Telamon

Do you have the Horn of Valere hidden in your pocket this time?
-Lews Therin Telamon

Trust is death!
-Lews Therin Telamon

They will pay. I am Lord of the Morning.
-Lews Therin Telamon

It isn't the stone you see that trips you on your nose.

You can sooner weave pig bristles into silk than make a man anything but a man.

Kittens tangle your yarn, men tangle your wits, and it's as easy as breathing for both.

At my age, if I make it up, it is still an old saying.

It is one of the things men are for, taking the blame. They usually deserve it even if you don't know how.

An open chest hides nothing, and an open door hides little. But an open man is surely hiding something.

A secret spoken finds wings.

Tears are for after; they just waste time before.

Now I'm a flaming fly-whisk?
-Logain Ablar

I have not had anyone to talk to in days, except good Master Gill, and he is busy most of the time. The cook seems to run him unmercifully. Perhaps she really owns the inn?

Never anger an Aes Sedai. Better to embrace the sun than to anger an Aes Sedai.

None will pass while I live, Perrin. Not Myrddraal or the Dark One himself

Stay and get married or travel the Ways. Life is very unsettling with ta'veren for friends.

He's human, so it could mean anything.

It is every man's right, Rand, to choose when to Sheathe the Sword. Even one like me.
-Lord Ingtar

One man holding fifty at a narrow passage. Not a bad way to die. Songs have been made about less.
-Lord Ingtar

There's work waiting for me. Don't you worry, lad. The wisdom will take good care of him, and the Light will take care of us all. And if the Light doesn't, well, we'll just take care of ourselves. Remember, we're Two Rivers folk.
-Master Luhhan, to Rand

She is my wife. Your bloody Daughter of the Nine Moons is my wife!
-Mat Cauthon

The bloody Power, and no bloody choice.
-Mat Cauthon

What's life like if you don't take a chance now and then?
-Mat Cauthon

Dance with her, and she will forgive much; dance well, and she will forgive anything.
-Mat Cauthon

I'm a gambler, a farmboy, and I'm here to take command of your bloody army.
-Mat Cauthon

Halt here! Now! By the order of the Lord Dragon! Else he channel your head into your belly and feed you your own feet for breakfast!
-Mat Cauthon

Carai an Ellisande! Al Ellisande! Mordero daghain pas duente cuebiyar! Al Ellisande!
-Mat Cauthon

It's good to be lucky.
-Mat Cauthon

I'm no lord. I've more respect for myself than that.
-Mat Cauthon

There are only two times a woman admits she is wrong: when she wants something and when it snows at midsummer.
-Mat Cauthon

I have no intention of marrying. And I have no intention of dying, either, whether I am supposed to live again or not...
-Mat Cauthon

Nothing like a little dance with Trollocs to ready you for sleep. Right, Aviendha?
-Mat Cauthon

A beautiful battle is one you don't have to fight.
-Mat Cauthon

Dance well with a woman and she's halfway yours.
-Mat Cauthon

Blood and bloody ashes!
-Mat Cauthon

Taking responsibility takes all the joy out of life, and drains a man to dust.
-Mat Cauthon

Had Nynaeve and Elayne been cavorting with Jaichim Carridin and Elaida in the fountain beneath that statue of some long dead queen two spans or more tall and pointing to the sea, he would have passed it without a second look.
-Mat Cauthon

Thom, if I ever look like acting the hero again, you kick me.
-Mat Cauthon

I do read sometimes.
-Mat Cauthon

I came to bloody rescue you. Burn me if I expected to be treated as if I'd come to steal a pie.
-Mat Cauthon

I seem to have luck with dice.
-Mat Cauthon

I may be a fool, but I intend to be a live fool.
-Mat Cauthon

I may be a fool, but I intend to be a live fool.
-Mat Cauthon

Never kiss a girl whose brothers have knife scars.
-Mat Cauthon

Fool women! Now I have to keep their bacon from burning instead of looking after my own!
-Mat Cauthon

I came to bloody rescue you. Burn me if I expected to be greeted as if I had come to steal a pie.
-Mat Cauthon

No wine for me. Strange enough things happen when my head is clear. I want to know the difference.
-Mat Cauthon

Bad habits pay off in the long run.
-Mat Cauthon

I wonder if she would like to dance.
-Mat Cauthon

He knew what it took to get into the histories. A man could get killed doing that sort of thing.
-Mat Cauthon

I am going to start having 'I am not a bloody lord' embroidered on my coat.
-Mat Cauthon

Does 'Daughter of the Nine Moons' mean anything to you?
-Mat Cauthon

Remember, you can find a way out of any difficulty if you keep your eyes and wits sharp, but if you don’t, you’ll trip over your own feet.
-Mat Cauthon

We are going to tickle some Aes Sedai under the chin, rescue a mule, and put a snip-nosed girl on the Lion Throne. Oh, yes. That's Aviendha. Don't look at her cross-wise or she'll try to cut your throat and probably slit her own by mistake.
-Mat Cauthon

Luck is a horse to ride like any other.
-Mat Cauthon

Almost dead yesterday, maybe dead tomorrow, but alive, gloriously alive, today.
-Mat Cauthon

I'll bet there's treasure inside.
-Mat Cauthon

If the world is ending, a woman will take time to tell a man something he's done wrong.
-Mat Cauthon

Before I knew what was happening, I had a fistful of spears around my neck like a collar. I could have shaved myself with one sneeze.
-Mat Cauthon

All he wanted from life was some good wine, a game of dice, and a pretty girl or three.
-Mat Cauthon

A thousand years of sheep!
-Mat Cauthon

And if she tries Mistress Snoot with me too often, I'll bloody well kick her!
-Mat Cauthon, about Elayne Trakand

Dovie'andi se tovya sagain.
-Mat Cauthon, before fighting the Shaido

Only a fool married, and only a madman would marry Nynaeve.
-Mat Cauthon, in regards to Lan marrying Nynaeve

Both of them? Light! Two! Oh, burn me! He's the luckiest man in the world or the biggest fool since creation!
-Mat Cauthon, regarding Rhuarc's wives

Well, I'll not be the one to pull his bacon off the coals. He's the one who can channel. If he's put his head in a hornet's nest, he can bloody channel his way out of it.
-Mat Cauthon, speaking about Rand al'Thor

That woman has more hands than any six women I ever met.
-Mat Cauthon, speaking of Queen Tylin Quintara

Are you deaf as well as blind, woman? I'm not a carpet to walk over and I distinctly heard myself speak. If I pinch your bottom, you can slap my face, but until I do, I expect a civil word for a civil word!
-Mat Cauthon, to Berelain sur Paendrag

When the poor blind fool they've chosen out for their Amyrlin gets here, I will do the talking. She can't be very bright, or they'd never have been able to shove her into the job.
-Mat Cauthon, to Egwene al'Vere

No offense, Rand, but I think I will just sleep as far away from you as I can, if you don't mind.
-Mat Cauthon, to Rand al'Thor

I don't care who Nynaeve thumps so long as it is not me.
-Mat Cauthon, to Rand al'Thor

Asha'man, kill!
-Mazrim Taim

Kneel and swear to the Lord Dragon, or you will be knelt.
-Mazrim Taim

Victors write history.
-Mazrim Taim

Schemes within schemes. The Great Serpent is a good sign for you Aes Sedai, I think. Someday you may swallow yourselves by accident.

Some oaths are more important than others.

What is a nine horse hitch, anyway?
-Min Farshaw

Men! Too blind to see what a stone could see, and too stubborn to be trusted to think for themselves.
-Min Farshaw

Better ten days of love, than years of regretting.
-Min Farshaw

Fall in love with a man, and you end up doing laundry, even if it does belong to another man.
-Min Farshaw

I want to get drunk as a drowned mouse, and fast!
-Min Farshaw

The Pattern has a great deal to answer for. I don't think any man is worth this.
-Min Farshaw

Ha! That face would make a goat faint!
-Min Farshaw

Just because fate has chosen something for you instead of you choosing it for yourself doesn't mean that it has to be bad. Even if it's something you are sure you would never have chosen in a hundred years.
-Min Farshaw

If you meet a woman - the most beautiful woman you've ever seen - run!
-Min Farshaw, to Perrin Aybara

Go juggle something.
-Min Farshaw, to Thom Merrilin

A man is a maze of brambles in darkness, and even he does not know the way.
-Mistress Anan

My way is best. Softly, softly, in the shadows.

The old blood is strong in Emond's Field, and the old blood sings.
-Moiraine Damodred

Weep for Manetheren. Weep for what is lost forever.
-Moiraine Damodred

I shall have to see. I do not know how well I could compete against a gleeman.
-Moiraine Damodred

You were right about Bela, Rand. She has a good heart, and as much stubbornness as the rest of you Two Rivers Folk. Strange as it seems, she may be the least weary of all.
-Moiraine Damodred

Rand al' a mule-headed, stonewilled, fool of a...a...a man!
-Moiraine Damodred

The fourth night. . .He could not understand how she managed to make ants crawl into his smallclothes, or to make them all bite at once.
-Moiraine Damodred, reflecting back on her first travel with Lan

Tonight you will eat fish. Tomorrow, you may die.
-Moiraine, to Faile

What is already woven cannot be undone. It will not make the trees grow again for you to bring the building down on our heads.
-Moiraine, to Loial

You are all dead! All dead!

It's time to toss the dice.
-motto of the Band of the Red Hand

Narg no hurt.

They also kept giving him gifts of garlic for some reason, which he ate with great pleasure.
-narration, speaking of Perrin and townspeople's reaction to his yellow eyes

As my Lord says, my Lord's leg is not a side of beef. Thank you, my Lord, for instructing me.
-Nerim, to Mat, while sewing up his wounds

Only a fool obeys another's command to push him over a cliff.

I will NOT apologize.
-Nynaeve al'Meara

Who wants a man she can make jump through hoops whenever she likes?
-Nynaeve al'Meara

Only a ninny thinks she can threaten people, Elayne, and still get anywhere.
-Nynaeve al'Meara

Whatever in the world made you think of trying to bully them?
-Nynaeve al'Meara

I do not have to make sense.
-Nynaeve al'Meara

-Nynaeve al'Meara

A storm is coming.
-Nynaeve al'Meara

I think we've just found the Ancient Muckety-muck Sisterhood of Wise Women.
-Nynaeve al'Meara, concerning the Kin

That woman could try a stone's patience.
-Nynaeve al'Meara, on Cadsuane Melaidhrin

If you get yourself killed I will skin you alive.
-Nynaeve al'Meara, to Lan Mandragoran

I can't abide women who poke their noses into other people's business.
-Nyneave al'Meara

I have a reading lesson with the Lady Riselle. She lets me rest my head on her bosom while she reads to me.

Soon comes the day all shall be free.
Even you, and even me.
Soon comes the day all shall die.
Surely you, but never I.

-Padan Fain

Maybe they're letting him sleep on silk, but a prisoner is still a prisoner.
-Perrin Aybara

A Warder once told me Trollocs call the Aiel Waste 'the Dying Ground.' I mean to make them give that name to the Two Rivers.
-Perrin Aybara

Nobody tells us how to be men. We just are.
-Perrin Aybara

It's all sort of complicated, but it just happened. Nothing to do with ta'veren.
-Perrin Aybara

Burn me! I'm a bloody blacksmith.
-Perrin Aybara

All we met were Tinkers and some Whitecloaks. On the whole, singing with the Tinkers was more fun than the Whitecloaks.
-Perrin Aybara

Hope is like a piece of string when you're drowning. It just isn't enough to get you out by itself.
-Perrin Aybara

I'll bet you get to run away a lot.
-Perrin Aybara, to Aram

Out! Out, woman! Out, now! Or I will throw you out, and I will throw you so far you bounce twice!
-Perrin Aybara, to Berelain sur Paendrag

Rand is the one who's supposed to go mad, and here I am, talking to an axe!
-Perrin Aybara, to his axe

There is a wickedness loose in the world, I fear, and whatever you pretend, you are not so wicked that it will not gobble you up.
-Raen, to Elyas Machera

You'd be surprised what my Asha'man would dare.
-Rand al'Thor

I make no nooses for my neck.
-Rand al'Thor

That is always important, Mat, who stays alive. It's like dice. You can't win if you can't play, and you can't play if you're dead.
-Rand al'Thor

Only a battle lost is sadder than a battle won.
-Rand al'Thor

If I could find a way to escape my destiny, do I deserve to?
-Rand al'Thor

If you're going to fight a battle, who better to pay the butcher's bill than men who want you dead?
-Rand al'Thor

If a sword had memory, it might be grateful to the forge fire, but never fond of it.
-Rand Al'Thor

I will ask one more time. What do you want? Answer, or leave. By the door or a window; your choice
-Rand al'Thor

If I will die at Tarmon Gai'don, I will die as myself.
-Rand al'Thor

Only an Aiel would wish you good night by saying they hope you don't die in your sleep.
-Rand al'Thor

I can rest when I'm dead.
-Rand al'Thor

I was thinking. Sometimes I think too much.
-Rand al'Thor

I have heard it said that you should believe nothing you hear, and only half of what you see.
-Rand al'Thor

What kind of need would be great enough that we'd want the Dragon to save us from it? As well ask for help from the Dark One.
-Rand al'Thor

Loial, didn't you say there was no wind in the Ways?
-Rand al'Thor

I trust you like a brother. Until the day you betray me.
-Rand al'Thor

Trust was a knife, and the hilt was as sharp as the blade.
-Rand al'Thor

I'm not Aiel, Lord Barthanes, and I'm not of the royal line, either.
-Rand al'Thor

Come against me, if you dare! I am the storm! Come if you dare, Shai'tan! I am the Dragon Reborn!
-Rand al'Thor

Perrin had such a serene marriage, with a smiling, gentle wife
-Rand al'Thor

All women are Aes Sedai.
-Rand al'Thor

The light shine on you, Lord Ingtar of House Shinowa, and may you shelter in the palm of the Creator's hand. The last embrace of the Mother welcome you home.
-Rand al'Thor, at Ingtar's Last Stand

Maybe having the Wisdom show up is no great affair to you, but I'd as soon have the Whitecloaks here, myself.
-Rand al'Thor, referring to Nynaeve al'Meara

Tell him, no truce with the Forsaken. No truce with the Shadow.
-Rand al'Thor, speaking of Sammael

Play 'March of Death'. Play it, unless you know a sadder song. Play something to make your soul weep. If you have one still.
-Rand al'Thor, to Asmodean

I will never serve you, Father of Lies. In a thousand lives, I never have. I know that. I'm sure of it. Come. It is time to die.
-Rand al'Thor, to Ba'alzamon

My Lady... why would I summon you at this time of night?
-Rand al'Thor, to Berelain

I'm the one who's supposed to go mad, Aes Sedai, but you already are.
-Rand al'Thor, to Cadsuane Melaidhrin

Whatever can be done, can be undone.
-Rand al'Thor, to Colavaere

The Wisdom in my village could cure anything. She knows more about herbs than anybody I've ever met. I learned a little from her, which are safe, which not. Sleep, Fedwin.
-Rand al'Thor, to Fedwin Morr

I told you to make weapons, Taim. Show me just how deadly they are. Disperse the Shaido. Break them.
-Rand al'Thor, to Mazrim Taim

For the young, death is an enemy they wish to try their strength against. For those of us a little older, she is an old friend, an old lover, but one we are not eager to meet again soon.

Read and find out.
-Robert Jordan

I like reading erotica, sometimes.
-Robert Jordan

I created these characters, and I am an Old Testament God with my fist in the middle of their lives.
-Robert Jordan - CNN Interview, 2000

To stand against the Shadow so long as iron is hard and stone abides. To defend the Malkieri while one drop of blood remains. To avenge what cannot be defended.
-Royal Malkeri Oath

My heart rises with the sun.
To the chime of swords
I die at sunset...

-Saldaean poem

An arrow may not be a shocklance, yet it can still kill you.
-Sammael, to Graendal

Your carneira wears part of your soul as a ribbon in her hair forever.
-saying among Malkieri men

Killing is as easy as dying, any fool can do either.
-saying among the Aiel

A ship is alive... treat him well and care for him properly and he will fight for you against the worst sea.
-saying among the Sea Folk

An Aes Sedai never lies, but the truth she speaks may not be the truth you think you hear.
-saying concerning sisters of the White Tower

Lean back on your knife and let your tongue go free.
-saying in Altara

The more women there are about, the softer a wise man steps.
-saying in Arad Doman

The dancing is sweeter on the edge of a sword.
-saying in Arafel

Take what you want, and pay for it.
-saying in Cairhien

Trust no one but your self, and yourself not too much.
-saying in Lugard

Be aware of everything, even when asleep. Only the dead can afford oblivion.
-saying in Malkier

Death is lighter than a feather, duty heavier than a mountain.
-saying in Shienar

The best secret to reveal is the face behind a lady's veil, the most deadly is that of an Illuminator's spark.
-saying in Tanchico

The Wheel of Time turns around Tar Valon, and Tar Valon turns around the Tower.
-saying in Tar Valon

There is a difference between being proud of a grand fireplace in your hall and walking into the flames.
-saying in Tar Valon, about the White Tower

A cat for a hat, or a hat for a cat, but nothing for nothing.
-saying in Taren Ferry

Whoever holds the Stone of Tear is Lord of Tear, city and nation.
-saying in Tear

The look of the Eyeless is fear.
-saying in the Borderlands

Do not trouble trouble till trouble troubles you.
-saying in the Maule

The louder a man tells you he's honest, the harder you must hold on to your purse.
-saying in the Two Rivers

Whether the bear beats the wolf or the wolf beats the bear, the rabbit always loses.
-saying in the Two Rivers

The Creator made women to please the eye and trouble the mind.
-saying in the Two Rivers

A woman's eyes cut deeper than a knife.
-saying in the Two Rivers

Men believe the worst easily, and women believe it hides something still darker.
-saying in the Two Rivers

Well, we'll survive, the Light willing, and if the Light doesn't will, we'll still survive.
-saying in the Two Rivers

Time to dance with Jak o' the Shadows.
-saying of the Band of the Red Hand

On the heights, the paths are paved with daggers.
-Seanchan saying

Fear will keep you cautious; caution will keep you alive.

The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.
-Sheriam, to Nynaeve al'Meara

Peace favor your sword.
-Shienaran warrior's blessing

A Darkfriend wouldn't care if my brother died in a cage.
-Simion, to Perrin

The Oaths hold us together, a stated set of beliefs that bind us all, a single thread running through every sister, living or dead, back to the first to lay her hands on the Oath Rod. They are what make us Aes Sedai, not saidar.
-Siuan Sanche

When there are fish heads and blood in the water, you don't need to see the silverpike to know they are there.
-Siuan Sanche

Trust is as slippery as a basket of eels, sometimes.
-Siuan Sanche

The weak must be bold cautiously.
-Siuan Sanche

The Law of Unintended Consequences, stronger than any written Law. 'Whether or not what you do has the effect you want, it will have three at least you never expected, and one of those usually unpleasant.
-Siuan Sanche

A man is the easiest animal to put on a leash, and the hardest to keep leashed.
-Siuan Sanche

The stone easiest carved is easiest crumbled. It is the stone hardest to shape that lasts the longest, especially in the streams of the world.
-Siuan Sanche

She was not a pretty little porcelain doll; she was a beautiful little porcelain doll. On the outside, anyway. Inside, where it counted, was another matter.
-Siuan Sanche, referring to Moiraine

What happened with the pond? Surely the water is the point of the story.

We'll toss the dice however they fall,
and snuggle the girls be they short or tall,
then follow young Mat whenever he calls,
to dance with Jak o' the Shadows.

-song of the Band of the Red Hand

In my day, girls jumped when a Wise One said jump, and continued jumping until they were told to stop. As I am still alive, it is still my day. Need I make myself clearer?
-Sorilea, to Aviendha and Egwene al'Vere

We are always more afraid than we wish to be, but we can always be braver than we expect.
-Sorilea, to Egwene

When a young woman's cheeks redden for no apparent reason, there is usually a man involved.
-Sorilea, to Egwene al'Vere

Teach him how you will, a pig will never play the flute.
-Thom Merillin

I'm only an old gleeman. Who could I possibly be dangerous to?
-Thom Merrilin

A woman will kill you for half the reason of a man, but cry twice as hard afterward.
-Thom Merrilin

Often you don't know whether a woman is friend, enemy, or lover until it is too late. Sometimes, she is all three.
-Thom Merrilin

I may be an old fool, but I will be an old fool in my own way.
-Thom Merrilin

In wars, boy, fools kill other fool for foolish causes.
-Thom Merrilin

A fine woman, if she were not Aes Sedai. Meddle with that sort, and you get more than your fingers burned.
-Thom Merrilin

I saw Elaida in the street the other day. If she knew I was here, she would peel my hide off in strips, and then she would stop being pleasant.
-Thom Merrilin

And I make a point of never knowing anything about Aes Sedai. Much safer that way.
-Thom Merrilin

Horrible woman, if we had turned her loose on the Trollocs, she'd have had them all sweeping and mopping.
-Thom Merrilin, of the Stone's Majhere

You wait here - and try not to eat the table.
-Thom Merrilin, to Mat Cauthon

Obviously, Selucia miscounted with the ants.

Bloody Matrim Cauthon is my husband. That is the wording you used, is it not?
-Tuon, to Mat Cauthon

Leafblighter means to blind the Eye of the World, Lost One. He means to slay the Great Serpent. Warn the People, Lost One. Sightburner comes. Tell them to stand ready for He Who Comes With the Dawn. Tell them...
-unknown Maiden of the Spear

A woman's flaming rights are whatever she flaming says they are. That's what women in Shienar say, anyway.

Oh, I do remember you. The one with the fla- the mouth. Ragan thought you could skin and butcher a blo- bull at ten paces with your tongue. Chaena and Nangu thought fifty.
-Uno, to Nynaeve al'Meara

Bring your lightnings, Aes Sedai. I will dance with them.

I do eat. It's just that everything tastes like ashes.

The Mistress of Novices thought I was too hard on my students. Her name was Sereille Bagand.

Always plan for the worst, that way all your surprises will be pleasant ones.
-Verin Mathwin

A man who trades with a Domani needs three sets of wits.
-warning against foolishess

We come, brother. We hunt.
-Wolves, to Perrin Aybara

Twilight, New Moon, or Eclipse:

“Can you hear me?”
”No, go away.”

“I think… and if you ever repeat what I’m saying, I will cheerfully beat you to death.”

“Are you alright?”
“Distract me.”
”I’m sorry… What?”
“Just prattle about something insignificant until I calm down.”
“I’m going to run Tyler over tomorrow morning before school?”

“I hear voices in my head and you think you’re a freak?”

“I was trying to remember how to incapacitate someone. You know, self-defense? I was going to smash his nose into his brain”

“Are you referring to the fact that you can’t walk across a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over?

“Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving?”

‘He stared at me as if I was missing something obvious.’
“You know bears are not in season.”
”If you look carefully, the law only covers hunting with weapons.”

“Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear.”

“This truck’s old enough to be your car’s grandfather, have some respect.”

“Forks seemed perfect so we all enrolled in high school. I suppose we’ll have to go to their wedding in a few years… again.”

“It’s too green.”

“Just give me a minute to restart my heart.”
”How’s the heart?”
”You tell me, I’m sure you hear it much better than I do.”

“Yeah, it’s an off day when I don’t get somebody to tell me how edible I smell.”

“Only a teenage boy would agree to this: deceiving both our parents while repairing dangerous vehicles using money meant for my college education.”

“Here’s to responsibility. Twice a week.”
“And recklessness everyday in between.”

“Bears don’t want to eat people. We don’t taste that good. Of course, you might be an exception. I bet you taste good.”
“Thanks so much,” I said, looking away. He wasn’t the first person to call me that.

“I told him you were going to corrupt my youthful innocence.”

“You are so bizarre, even for a human.”

“How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?”

“Sheesh, Alice, could you pick a more conspicuous car to steal?”
“The important question, is whether I could have stolen a faster car, and I don’t think so. I got lucky.”
”I’m sure that will be very comforting at the roadblock.”
”Trust me, Bella. If anyone sets up a roadblock, it would be behind us.”

“In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn’t trying to kill herself.”

“That doesn’t count until she’s conscious, Rose.”
”I’m conscious.”

“I’m dead right? I did drown. Crap, crap, crap! This is gonna kill Charlie.”
“You’re not dead.”
”Then why am I not waking up?”
“You are awake, Bella.”
”Sure, sure. That’s what you want me to think. And then it will be worse when I do wake up, which I won’t, because I’m dead. This is awful. Poor Charlie. And Renee and Jake…”
”I can see where you might confuse me with a nightmare, But I can’t imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders when I was away?”
”Obviously not, if I was in hell, you wouldn’t be here with me.”

“How strange, I really went to Italy. Did you know I’ve never been farther east than Albaquerque?”

“You should know I’m breaking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never to walk through his door again, and I came in through the window… But still, the intent was clear.”

“You jumped off a cliff for fun.”

“Excellent plan, my brother.”
“Absolutely not.”

“I’m only eighteen.”
“Well, I’m nearly a hundred and ten. It’s time I settled down.”

“So eager for eternal damnation.”

“Aw, Jake! I’m already grounded! Why do you think I haven’t been down to La Push to kickyour butt for not answering my phone calls?”

“Did I miss something? Since when do you make dinner anyway? Or try to make dinner, I should say,”
“There is no law that says I can’t cook in my own house.”
“You would know.”

“You and Billy gossip like old women.”

“Your bad luck seems to get more potent everyday. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a mutant pack of canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, we’d have a weapon of mass destruction in our hands.”

“Speaking of Italy and sports cars I stole there, you still owe me a yellow Porsche.”

“Oh, please please no! Please tell me you’re not trying to have a sex talk with me, Charlie!”
“I am your father. I have responsibilities. Remember, I’m just as embarassed as you.”
“I don’t think it’s humanly possible. Anyway, Mom beat you to the punch about ten years ago.”

“Can’t you have a life when he’s gone? Or does he lock you in a coffin.”
“I don’t think it’s funny.”
"I’m only laughing because you’re close.”

“I didn’t fight with Jacob. Much. Why?”
”I was wondering why you stabbed him, not that I object.”

“So that’s why Sam is all black. Black heart, black fur.”
"And your chocolate fur reflects what? How sweet you are?”

“But Alice made me optimistic. So we went to find them.”
“Scared the hell out of them too.”

“Emmett and I were away hunting. Jasper shows up, covered in battle scars, towing this little freak, who greets them all by name, know everything about them, and want to know which room she could move into. When I got home, all my things were in the garage.”
“Your room had the best view.”

“How strong will I be?”
“Stronger than me.”
“Stronger than Emmett?”
“Yes. Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm wrestling match.”

“Ow! OW!”
“Are you alright?”
“No, dammit! You broke my hand!”
“Bella, you broke your hand.”

“Will you come over and get me please?”
“I’m on my way, what’s wrong?”
“I want Carlisle to look at my hand. I think it’s broken.”
“What happened?”
“I punched Jacob.”
”That’s good. Though I’m sorry that you’re hurt.”
“I wish I’d hurt him. I didn’t do any damage at all/”
“I can fix that.”
“I was hoping you would say that.”
“That doesn’t sound like you. What did he do?”
“He kissed me.”
All I hears was the sound of an engine accelerating.

“Dad, don’t you have a baseball bat lying around somewhere in your room? I want to borrow it for a minute.”

“Fall down again, Bella?”
“No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face.”

“Tease you?”
“Yeah, in between insulting somebody’s mother and taking to Lord’s name in vain.”

.hack//Another Birth

"You pighead! Your stubborness makes me wanna bust open your head just to see f there're any brains in there!" - BR
"If he weren't so thick skulled, I'd have dne that a long time ago." - Helba

"... Even a pighead like you can't be completely ignorant of what's going on around here... can you?" - Helba
"Just because I didn't rebuke her doesn't mean you hve permission to call me a pighead." - Lios
"Then why don't you prove to us that you're not a pighead." Kite
"Whaaat?" - Lios

You! Come with me -BlackRose

So what am I going to do if even you start... doubting yourself? -BlackRose

... I'm in eighth grade - Kite

It was nice and all that he was telling me things about himself, but... middle school? That meant he was a kid the age of Fumikazu! And if Kite was in middle scool, then so was his friend Orca. And if he was that age, then did that mean his partner Balmung was, too? -BlackRose

Mistral, where are you when I need you? -BlackRose

I'm -BlackRose is- surrounded by middle schoolers! -BlackRose

We'll leave it to my reliable subordinates. -Lios
Which means more pigheads. -Helba
Shut up! -Lios
Pigheads aside... -Balmung
Whaaat? -Lios



"If he rips my arms off, I’ll kick him to death. If he rips my legs off, I’ll bite him to death. If he rips my head off, I’ll stare him to death. And if he gouges my eyes, I’ll curse him from beyond the grave! Even if I get ripped apart, I’m taking Sasuke back from Orochimaru!"

'If something else happens, I'll come and save you. So just let me know. It will be easier that way.' - Temari

'Lee: That can't be! Tenten's attack missed?
Gai: That's impossible. Tenten is able to hit a mark a hundred times in a hundred tries.
Neji: There's no way she can miss.' (See, Neji believes in her abilities...)

When I look at you, I get an intense feeling in my heart... Because you're not perfect... Because you fail... you have the strength to get back up... Because I believe that's where true strength is... I...I think you are an incredibly strong person, Naruto-kun. –Hinata

She's as subtle as a rhino. She might even be scarier than my mom. –Shikamaru

Sakura... thank you. –Sasuke

Naruto: There are no bad people among ramen lovers!
Choji: No. That is incorrect, Naruto.
Shikamaru: Tell it the way it is, Choji.
Choji: There are no bad people who like Ichiraku ramen!

Don't let his boyish good looks fool you... I've met insects with more social grace than him. –Sakura

Even if it's been a while, you should at least remember the faces of your friends. The reason being that if you don't... it's painful to the person who called you out. –Shino

Gai is running off while giving an exhausted Kakashi a piggy-back ride
Naruto: thinks Something about that... is just sick.
Sakura: thinks Two grown men playing piggy-back... it looks worse than I thought.
Tenten: thinks Oh god... spare me.
Neji: …
Lee: thinks I see... it's training!
Gai: Now it'll be a lot faster! Ahahaha! All of you, see if you can keep up!
Sakura: thinks: They look even worse when they start moving.
Lee bends over to offer Neji a ride
Lee: Neji...
Neji: Oh hell no!

He recovers so fast, it's kind of annoying. –Neji

Tobi: What's to decide? You'd just blow me up!
Deidara: Death by strangulation!

Naruto(Talking about Hinata): I never knew Hinata was this incredible...
Rock Lee: She's very similar to you...
Sakura: Oh yeah...she was always watching you.
Naruto: Huh?

From the 3rd Databook:

Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, Sasuke Uchiha
-Naruto: "The forehead protector is slightly wider"
"Actually, the main characteristic of Naruto's clothes is his forehead protector. In the earlier version the line used to show the "thickness" of the metal and the line of the cloth part were very close, and that made it kind of difficult to draw the eyebrows that were right under that. For this reason, I made the cloth wider. This made both the metal's and the cloth's thickness visible, plus the eyebrows are a lot easier to draw. Besides that I also removed the rolled up part of Naruto's pants and changed his shoes from sandals to high-cut boots. Showing too much the ankle looked childish, so I tried to fix that."
-Sakura: "Sakura changed from China-style dress to karate suit..."
"I changed Sakura's clothes from the previous China-style ones to a more lively karate suite style. I gave her boots and gloves. The upper part, though, still has a Chinaesque feeling to it, so as to make her more feminine."
-Sasuke: "I thought I had to make him look cool!"
"I changed my mind a lot of times in my quest to make him look cool. I tried to put a "shimenawa" (the rope, ndt) around him to preserve Orochimaru's style.. I tried a turtleneck to show cleanliness.. I tried a military uniform.. In the end I just chose Japanese-style clothes and left his chest naked (LOL)."

Sai, Shikamaru Nara, Chouji Akimichi, Shino Aburame
-Sai: "I tried to make him look interesting to a certain extent by showing his belly (LOL)"
"Since he's Sasuke's successor, I thought that he had to somehow look cool and interesting...The result is his exposed belly (LOL). I also made him look unbalanced on purpose by making the gloves different in length."
-Shikamaru: "The focal point is the forehead protector on his arm"
"I wanted him to be unique despite wearing a normal chuunin vest. That's why I decided to put his forehead protector on his arm, so that it wouldn't hide his peculiar hair line."
-Chouji/Kiba: "One similar to his dad and a ninken rider"
"As for Chouji, in the past I've drawn his father Chouza, so I thought he might just follow his style. Kiba rides Akamaru, so he has sweat-proof clothes. Like those of a ninken rider (LOL)."
-Shino: "Even Shino's bag is stuffed with bugs"
"I eventually decided that Shino must be dressed in layers (LOL). I decided not to show much his face and other parts of his body to make him look eerie. He's also a bug user, so even his backpack is full of bugs."

Tenten, Akamaru, Ino Yamanaka, Hinata Hyuuga
-Tenten: "Her design is my favorite"
"Tenten wears a comfortable three-quarter China dress. I tried to think about the ease of movement when I drew it. This Tenten is my favorite design."
-Akamaru: "Akamaru... well, I just made him bigger"
"I just made Akamaru bigger (LOL). His face is the same as before. I never decided a specific breed for him. I just thought of him as a dog that gets bigger and bigger and that would be able to carry Kiba around."
-Ino: "She was full of bandages, so I removed them"
"The previous Ino was covered in bandages, so I first removed those. Then I thought about the ease of movement, and since she's a girl I tried to leave some parts of her body exposed."
-Hinata: "Hinata is cute-but-uncool (LOL)"
"Hinata has to look simple, so I tried to cover all of her body and to give her a "provincial" feel. She's not interested in fashion... so I do want her to look cute, but in an unfashionable way. ...Cute-but-uncool (LOL)"

Pain, Hidan, Konan, Zetsu
-Pain: "I wanted coolness and danger"
"He's Akatsuki's leader, so he has to look cool at least to a certain extent, but I also wanted him to look dangerous. Since his name is "Pain", I decided to put some piercings on his body. Kind of like a person who gives pain to himself".
-Hidan: "Bones and a scythe remind of a shinigami"
"Hidan uses curses and such, so I wanted him to look similar to a shinigami. That's why he carries a scythe and bones. I originally planned the scythe to have a lot of tricks, but I didn't have time to show all of them... (LOL)."
-Konan: "Yeah, she's obscene... but she wears clothes (LOL)"
"I'd thought since the beginning to have Konan as the only woman in Akatsuki, so I tried to make her somewhat obscene, but... In truth, she wears the Akatsuki mantle above that (LOL). And then, she transforms into paper right away..."
-Zetsu: "I originally wanted to make Akatsuki into a group of monsters"
"Zetsu is modeled after an insectivorous plant. I originally wanted Akatsuki to be a group of individuals with close to no human characteristics. I decided to make Zetsu half black and half white to better show his double personality."

About the characters

Q. Do members of Akatsuki pairs sleep somewhere at night?
A. They get two single rooms.

Q. Now that Gaara doesn't have the Ichibi anymore he's unable to use the sand, right?
A. Both the sand and the rings around his eyes are there for good, they can't be taken away.

Q. If a Hyuuga and an Uchiha had a child together, what eyes would s/he get?
A. His right eye would be a Sharingan. Meaning that the left one would be a Byakugan! (LOL)

Q. If I drank Suigetsu would I get diarrhea?
A. He would just come out from your bottom.

Q. Why is Naruto able to summon Gamakichi if he signed the contract with Gamabunta?
A. Because signing a contract with Gamabunta means that he's able to summon not only him but any toad.

Q. What is Naruto's "new erotic ninjutsu"...?
A. I'd like to draw it one day. I can do it anytime, I just need the editor's approval.

Fate/Stay Night:

'I'm sorry, but if you're wearing a skirt... then jump down the stairs... That'll happen.' - Shirou Emiya

'I feel that there is an unexplainable reason for me to be angry.' -Saber

Hakushaku to Yousei:

"You shouldn't throw a helpless sheep like her into the den of a drunk and unrestrained wolf."
"But Lord Edgar, you're not much different when you're sober." -Edgar and Raven


Aram: Airi, about your fated person?
Airi: Fu fu... I can see us walking together in the park and watching movies that we both like. Then, going to secret vacation together. No disaster can tear us apart because we believe in each other. We treasure the little bits of happiness we have together after our marriage...
Aram: Is that all... ?
Airi: Yes, but in building a home, we won't be distracted with our work. It's all for the love of our family.

Aram... You are a prince and I am just a commoner. But there's one thing I know about royalty. It's tax duty. You 'royalty' all suck tax money from common people, right? You take from us all that stupid high taxes, am I right? If it's the case, the prince is a schemer!! Taking 20 percent from our salary!!
Aram: Eh!? That high...
Airi: I... can't approve that you take taxes from food money...

Airi: The time to say goodbye is always sad and heartbreaking. But we're together, right?

Airi: Why did you choose me?
Aram: Wrong. I did not choose you. We met.

Maruru: Do you think he's inside a drawer of the desk? I don't think so!

Aram: But Airi... Don't take his proposal, his affection is hazardous! Jeile... You've talked about the past, I also have somethng to say...! I still remember the memories clearly even now!! Everyday everyday everyday everyday he dandled me from morning until nightfall without any discretion! The truth is he DID rub my cheek 1000 times a day until it got swollen. I didn't have enough sleep because I was dead tired! The finishing blow was when I entered apprenticeship, he forced me to take that haunted stuffed doll!! The only place I can get any rest is with Father's beard... his affection is so violent, it's scary...
Airi: Ahh... It's true. He doesn't know what a subtle intention is. I'm sorry.

Airi: So this is where we separate... Lonely isn't it?
Aram: I don't want to. I love Airi!

Aram: Because I love you, I allowed it. A humiliation like this of today for the first time.

Airi: Aram has got good qualities too, right? You're a prince, you can use magic, and you are also cute.
Aram: Don't call me cute!

Airi: I can make a choice of cafe au lait that would suit Aram's taste. You like sweet things, right?
Aram:...Is it Airi's choice too?
Airi: Yes.
Aram: Okay.

Airi: Right now, I want to kick him with my technique: "The kick of the story of the Marriage in the Big Prairie 2!!"

Aram (sparkling): Am I handsome? Not cute, but handsome? Is handsome better?

Aram: Guard! Did you see a girl come this way?! She must still be inside the castle. A selfish commoner, a girl much older than I and surprisingly strong. She likes to talk. Likes 'dramas', and has unexpectedly large breasts.
Guard (blushing): No. No one who fits that description has come this way.

Aram: There's no meaning to a door if it can't be opened.

Aram: ...Airi, do you love me?
Airi: Wha..?! At a time like this?
Aram: That is why... If you don't hate me, here-- Kiss over my heart.
Airi (Swirly eyed): Kis...
Aram: Quickly.

Airi: Right... now...?
Aram: Trust me.
Airi: (Thinking) I can't disobey him.

Aram: I am Astelle A Diamonia Eucalystia Aram, the name bearer of the country-- Do not underestimate me!

Airi: UWAAH!! That! You're looking down on me! That's the impression I'm getting! Talking like that and that fake kiss! I was saved by that kind of person!! No-!! IT'S LIKE I'VE THROWN AWAY HUMAN DIGNITY, YOU KNOW! (Sobs) Where'd the bratty but cute Aram go...? A while ago, he somehow changed places with this snob...
Aram: I haven't changed... I knew it, Airi is deluded

Airi: Okay! What's Aram's favorite?
Aram: Airi, omelette, and Pika Ranger.
Airi: That's not right! Not cute enough!! Imposter!
Aram: You! What's the meaning of that? And don't call ,e cute! I... I know that I'm not completely myself... But... (Blushing) Should I conduct myself with CU- cute mannerisms before Airi...? Ugh... how annoying...
Airi: Yes. It's the usual Aram.

Aram: It was an excuse. However, it was real. If I didn't like you I wouldn't do this! Airi!
Airi (Scrambling away): It's still no!

Airi: Stop it... or I'll kick you!
Aram: ... Kick me?

Airi: How... do I go trough the mirror...
Aram: How did you get here in the first place?
Airi: I didn't mean to. I just said your full name...
Aram: ...You must think of something precious from that place!
Airi: Ah! My 'Marriage in the Prairie' video... (Goes through the mirror)
Rei: How simple...
Aram: No, that's just Airi.

Chrisnelle: I am-- Atelle A Daimonia Ratoleia Chrisnell. I met my soulmate in that 'other world'... That's why I threw away my engagement and the Crown to go to his world. I feel that I'll definitely be alright-- Ah- I feel better now.
Airi and Aram: Eh?
Airi: Please forgive that kind of ancestor...
Aram: Really, they are exactly alike...
Rei: I see, it's genetic.

Airi: The symbol on your chest is embarrassing. Cover it up.
Aram: This is proof of of out pledge of marriage between us. What is there to be ashamed of?

Aram: Airi! We're classmates from now on! As of today, I too have to do homework.
Airi: GO HOME!


Airi: WHat is that guy doing...
Aram: He said he was going to reform the whole school... for me.

Nakaouji: Is there anyine whi needs to ask a question?
Aram: Yes!
Nakaouji: Oh, how remarkable, you can actually remember to raise your hand? So... What?
Airi: Nakaouji-kun being sarcastic?

Aram: What are you to Airi? (First question on his mind.)

Aram: I don't feel very good. All this swaying is...
Airi: It's your fault. I told you to go to bed early but you had to stay up late. I guess there's no helping it. Here, lean your head on me.

Raz: So, you two live together?
Airi: NO WE DON'T! That's true, but no way in hell I'll admit it.

Aram: Don't go. Who told you you could leave?
Airi: I'm not leaving. I'll stay by your side, Aram...

Airi: You, Aram, are my place to come home to... Just seeing your face makes me happy.

Aram: You, I can see it in your eyes; do you love me? If it's the case, if I make you my 'second wife' it would please you but, it is not possible... I have decided to take only one wife my entire life...
Airi: Second wife... You said... You vowed to me that 'I'm the only one for you' but, you think it's impossible...

Airi: Let go of me! I'm... I'm not Jeile's woman!

Aram: what are you doing?! You said you loved me and yet you refused my offer and now you went to Jeile for protection!

Airi: It's still... here... If the seal disappeared I thought to myself 'what should I do?' Did you know that? I'll kiss you over your heart...
Aram: You intend to kill me...!?
Airi: ... No! I have proof...!
Aram: Let go... (Drapes fall on him)
Airi: Aram! I... I'll help you immediately!

Aram: Let me see your chest.
Airi (blushing. Turns around.): Look away. (Aram starts helping her unbutton.) Stop... I can do it myself... I said stop...!

Aram: Why do you have the same mark as mine which proclaim the vows of marriage
Airi: Why you!? Stupid! You put it there yourself! Before, you said you loved me and now you don't! Selfishly saying such... ...forcing that mark on me, who do you think you are?

Airi: You're such an idiot, Aram! When I've finally realized my own feelings...
Aram: STOP CRYING! (Kisses her)

Aram: I don't care about other people... because... I chose you, after all...

Raz: He doesn't remember. That's the situation, isn't it? No memories, remember?
Aram: ...I'm here to rectify that. (opens shirt. To Airi:) Kiss me. Over my heart.
Raz: ... And what if your heart doesn't accept this woman as your mate?
Aram: Ahh... then my heart will stop beating. ...It's alright...

Aram: I know I have lost something but how important was it? How much I have been hurting you?

Aram: Show me... Show me what I've forgotten...Show me what was so important... that it tore my heart in two?! (Not sure if this was canon, but it is touching and cute and totally deserves to be here.)

Aram: I'm sorry. I said I would protect you.
Airi: ... Idiot.
Aram: Yeah... I'm the idiot. (Tries to approach Airi but is nearly broomed.) Airi...
Airi: Don't come near me!
Aram: Okay...

Aram: If only I had realized that there was something strange about this over-familiar girl... I had absolutely no memories. However, it hurt whenever I saw you. But... it was more painful to be apart from you. Airi... you can hit the idiot.

Jeile: Hurry! MOVE your hips! Smiling will improve the results!
Airi: I can't smile!

Airi: Ah... I forgot the weird spell I just learned again... 'Pe don pa ra ri ra he re he'...
Aram: Completely wrong. It's 'fu ru ru ra fu'.

Rei: Hehe... I replaced you today, and in Health class we were watching a sex ed video. Later it was too exciting, writing about my emotions was very tiring. (Airi looks horrified)

Airi: My home is... Aram... isn't it?

Aram: You don't know anyone here.
Airi: It's all your fault, Prince Koala!

Random girl: I summoned the ceiling frogs. If you don't listen, they'll fall.
Airi: Fro-frogs... (panics) Bo po pe rira mo fu ru ru ra fu...
Random girl: Kyaa! This... This was in a legend, only royalty may use it, the enchantress's light! And it's so bright! Who exactly are you!?
Aram (appears): My most important... woman...
Airi: Huh?

Aram: I can't stand not having Airi at my side!

Jeile (panicking, running away from Rei's sister): Don't come over here! I don't want to see your face!
Nei (chases after him): Then I'll wear a mask!

Aram: Hey! The ground is so flat, yet you still fall!

King: I can forgive you for exceeding your authority... but bringing someone here that you have not formally introduced causes me great displeasure.
Airi (Whirls around and shouts): My name is Hoshina Airi, my Zodia sign is Virgo, and my blood type is B! As for my strengths, there should only be the will to kill people who don't admit defeat and making omelets!
Aram: Hey... Airi...
Airi: Shut up! Be quiet!
Aram: Shut up...
Queen: Hee...
Crowd: She actually dares to say that to a prince...
Airi: My great great great gandmother's name was... Crisnelle. I, and... Astelle A Daemonia Latreia Crisnelle... are related by blood!

Aram: She and I... cannot separate! We have already made the solemn promise that not even the King can break, (opens shirt), the mark on our hearts is a promise of marriage with our lives.

Queen: That reminds me, Airi-chan... Is it true...? Is it true you made my beloved boy clean your bathroom?
Airi (scared): Well.. Um... yes?
Queen: Oh! HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO! Fu... Fu Fu Fu... Fu Fu... My stubborn little spoiled boy Fu... c-cleaning a b-bathroom... ... I like you.

Airi: If Aram grows up twisted, I'm going to blame you, Rei!
Rei: My fault, huh... (stares at Aram's mother, who cackles, with an arrow that says 'Gave birth to Aram' above her.)

Aram: Mother, Father just told me-!! Please don't teach Airi ettiquette yourself! That's too cruel!! Do you want to destroy her this time? Especially since she made it through your test?
Queen: Aram? Aren't you supposed to be sulking?
Aram: I have no time to sulk!! (is sulking)

Aram: I don't care if you are my mother... ...If you hurt Airi, I'll never forgive you.

Nei: He loathes this visage that I share with my brother... I should wear a mask.

Jeilie: Um... What's with the mask?
Nei (shuffles around while wearing mask): It's... you don't like my face... s-so... Last resort. (Trembles)
Jeile: That's unacceptable... from a woman who may one day be our queen.

One upon a time, a maiden met a prince...They fell in love... And the two live happily ever after... Even now.

Avatar: The Last Airbender: I know it's not an anime. I'm not quite so clueless as to that, thanks.)

'Who knew floating on a piece of driftwood for three weeks with no food or water and sea vultures waiting to pluck out your liver could make you so tense! ' -Iroh

'Look, I hate to be the wet blanket here, but since Katara is busy, I guess it's up to me. We need to get to Omashu. No side tracks, no worms and DEFINITELY no rainbows. '

'Zuko: If the Earth Kingdom discovers us, they'll have us killed.
Iroh: But if the Fire Nation discovers us, we'll be turned over to Azula.
(Both look at one another and nod)
Zuko: Earth Kingdom it is.'

'Katara: Sokka!
Sokka: (Jumps off of a Badgermole): How did you guys get out?
Aang: Just like the legend says. We let love lead the way.
Sokka: Really? We let huge, ferocious beasts lead our way.’

'Please tell me that your here to kill me!' -Mai

'That's why we call it justice, because it's just us.'

'Aang: I said I would face justice, so I will. (spins Wheel of Punishment)
Spectator 1: (rooting) Come on, torture machine!
Old Man: Eaten by bears!
Spectator 2: Razor pit!
Katara: (worried) Community service! Please stop on community service.
Bailiff: (wheel comes to a stop) Looks like it's boiled in oil. '

'Mayor Tong: (cowers) You! Avatar! Do something!
Aang: Gee, I'd love to help, but I'm supposed to be boiled in oil.
Mayor Tong: (spins the wheel to the community service wedge and says quickly) There! Community service. Now serve our community and get rid of those rhinos! '

'The Boulder: The Boulder feels conflicted about fighting a young blind girl.
Toph: Sounds to me like you're scared, Boulder!
The Boulder: ...The Boulder is over his conflicted feelings and now he's ready to bury you in a rockalanche!
Toph: (points at boulder) Whenever you're ready, The Pebble! Ha ha ha! '

"The fluffy bunny cloud symbolizes death and destruction"


'If you love somebody, set them... traps.' - Emiko Niwa

AAAAHHHH! I have to do something! Right now! Hang on, baby! Mommy's coming to save you! – Emiko Niwa

His stupidity is up 50 from normal levels.

Dark: Daisuke. Stop acting like an old married couple! This wholesomeness is... unwholesome! How can you act so calm! If this is all that happens on your date, that's pathetic!
Daisuke: Yeah, whatever...

Dark: Why aren't you getting more excited! Come on, I want you to change into me!
Daisuke: I don't want to change! Don't you get it!
Dark: I see. You're... restraining yourself. In that case, let's just hold her hand.
Daisuke: Wha-! Bu-! Dar-!

Wha? Bu? Dar? What language is that?-Riku

He wouldn't notice if I got a crew cut, shaved my head bald, or grew an afro! –Riku

Chrno Crusade:


Rosette! Did you forget me? You forgot me, didn't you! Rosette! –Chrno

-Rosette and Satella enter a shop-
Shopkeeper: Are you looking for something?
Rosette startled, then nods Yes
Shopkeeper: What are you looking for?
Rosette: Umm... thinking
Shopkeeper: Please, let me know
Awkward faces, chuckling and Satella can't take it anymore. She hits Rosette.
Satella: Hurry up and tell him, come on!
Rosette: I know! RosetteSeriously Do you have a medicine that works on demons?

Sister Anna, Sister Mary, Sister Claireall Girls in Unison Hi, Chrono!
Sister Anna: Is Rosette writing more apologies? Then again, I guess that's what happens when a servant of God destroys an entire building.
Sister Mary: A building? I heard it was a whole block
Sister Anna, coils in surprise
Sister Claire: Actually I heard it was a whole island.
Anna coils in greater shock
Sister Claire: It must be so hard
Chrono sheepishly Well, it happens every time.
Sister Rosette Christopher shouts It happens every time?
Sister Anna, Sister Mary, Sister Claire in unison Oh, Rosette!
Sister Rosette Christopher: A whole block, was it? An Island? Blowing people's mistakes out of proportion is so much fun, isn't it?
Sister Rosette Christopher: But were you there?
Rosette moves her head around, seeing the girls run away
Sister Anna: Who would want to be teamed up with you?

Vampire Knight

Listen up, brats! Get the hell back to your dorms! Why do I have to deal with you running around screaming "Kya!!Kya!!" every damn day?! Why?! -Zero

Don't eat my hair! I'll become bald!

"Well, uhm, would you like to play in the sandbo-, I mean, want to participate on our group research on sand resistance?" -Akatsuki

ROD the TV:

'You can't beat me... OR him either! He's the stubbornest out of all of us... he won't let some senile old fart take over him!' -Anita

Ranma ½:

'It's time for me to tell you the truth. I gave birth to you by myself.' - Mr. Saotome's sign

'To fool your enemies you must begin with your allies' - Old man

'Nothing like drinking bucket water...' - Ranma

Yu Yu Hakusho:

'Let’s use the Reigeki Ring and lay waste to the surrounding areas.' – Botan

Yusuke: Plus, if you were a real messenger of death, you'd take this more seriously. Like how grim can you be when you say 'bingo?' You're supposed to wear a big black robe and look like a skeleton!

Botan: Now I understand what kind of person you are; it's in my guidebook! Rather than be scared or surprised, you yell a lot and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.

: It's funny, Yusuke - none of us were expecting you to die today; you've thrown us all for a loop. Run someone with your credentials through that scenario a thousand times and they never would've saved a kid like that. No one saw it coming and quite frankly, we haven't prepared a place for you yet.
Yusuke: Oh, gimme a freakin' break! Are you telling me you guys were expecting that little boy to die?
Botan: Well, I wasn't going to tell you this because I knew it would make you even more irritable, but without the confusion caused by you running into the street, that boy would've actually missed the car and escaped with one less scrape on his right shoulder. In other words, your death was a complete and utter waste!

Yakitate! Japan

'If you want to stand as a man then use this afro.'

'Throw away your common sense, get an afro' - Nun

'I feel a dark, evil, inhuman energy coming from that woman'

'It says no smoking. I think it’s written in eight different languages…'

'I have decided to act as a proxy for her inner voice.' -Manager

'It's my policy to never judge preferentially nor speak politely!' - Ryo Kuroyanagi

'It takes all kinds to make a world.' - Kawachi and Manager

'I thought a handshake was a universal custom' - Kai Suwabara

'Don't worry, I have no interest in a baldy, a baldy's bread or a baldy's match.' - Monica

'What a messed up compliment...' - Kawachi Kyousuke

'Can I also use my own personal Ooma City garbage bag?' - Azuma Kazuma

'I won't use the crappy bread like that... I take this bread... do this... And then it goes into the garbage bag for burnable trash!' - Azuma Kazuma

'This is the biggest problem of all... It's really really bloody hard to eat.' - Kanmuri Shigeru

'Please ignore that weird creature...' - Kanmuri Shigeru

Immortal Rain:

"Here's to the super body!"
"We will be the handsome priests!"
"Celibate but dashing!" Yuka and Rain

"... I wish to keep my super body." Rain

Yu-Gi-Oh GX:

' Lousy Dr. Crowler, who said that battle request forms had to be filled out in triplicate? ... And with a number 8 pencil...' - Jaden Yuki

'Come over here now, or I'll tell the whole deck!'

'"Mr. Crowler..."
"Did you say Mister?"
"I'm sorry, I'm new here... Mrs..."

'Jaden's a friend. Who happens to be a boy. That doesn't make him my boyfriend.' - Alexis

Full Metal Panic:

'"Where did you put all of that!"' -leader of thugs after Sousuke 'disarmed'... various pistols and magazines, grenades, and even a rocket launcher...

'It is best to come to a peaceful resolution to everything.' -Sousuke after he shot AROUND said thugs and later on when he tricked the leader.

Kyou Kara Maou:

''You are so heartless, and sooo dead!' -Yuri, being suffocated by girls

"Those who interfere with other people's love affairs will be kicked to death by a horse." -Cheri

"And speaking of horses, I think I faintly hear the neighing of a horsse." - Gwendel

Law of Ueki:

'Well, you got fooled by a fool ya foolish fool! Sucks to be you!' -Ueki Animax dub

Gundam SEED:

'Kill because someone was killed... be killed because he killed. Will peace ever come from that?'

Detective Conan:

Random guy: What's she to you? (About Kazuha)
Heiji: Oh, she's my childhood friend who has nothing to do with me and a noisy smalltimer so... leave her alone!
Ran: Isn't his sentence weird?

'The way a murder is commited is just a riddle written by mankind! As long as mankind ponders over it, the answer will be found. But it is sad that no matter how hard I try, I cannot figure out the reason a person can murder another. No, I an understand it, but I can't relate to it or agree to it. I can't... allow...' -Shinichi


'"Sometimes, you're as immature as Gary."
Ash turns blue (literally) and depressed
"D-Don't mention that name..."
"Stop acting like Brock"’

"Ash... Don't tell me, you..."
"Actually, I want to challenge you for a badge..."

'"Please don't stare at me like that! I'm a very shy little girl!"' - "Ashley"

'"Well, Ash Ketchum... I guess I finally know how you feel about me." ' Misty

'"Ash will never really be alone cause he's got... me."' – Tell me WHY... Please! Misty...

"When you have lemons, you make lemonade; and when you have rice, you make rice balls." - Brock

'"This Nurse Joy is different! Her bangs are a millimeter longer!"' Brock

'Isn't that sweet? You even remember my name after all this time. Hi, May' - Drew

'This, for me? Thanks, Drew!' - May

'"Let me guess... This is for Beautifly right?"
"Yeah, Something like that..."' - May and Drew

'"May's expedition into the mysterious woods begins..."
"You don't get out much do you?"'- May and Drew

'Misty: If you can name every type of evolution stone, I'll buy dinner!
Ash: You're on! Let's see... "Thunder Stone", "Water Stone", "Moon Stone", and...uhh..."Rolling Stone"?
Misty: WRONGO! I guess dinner is on you!
Ash: BROOOOCK! If this keeps up, I'll go broke! Make Misty stop!
Brock: Actually, Ash, I was just about to compliment you on your flirtation technique.
Ash: (blushing) What flirtation?
Misty: (blushing) Don't be reading anything on to it, okay! ‘

'Misty: The Nidoran traners are not mature enough to admit it, but they really like each other!
Tracey: Hey, that's just like you and Ash!
Misty and Ash: YOU MUST BE CRAZY! '

'Ash: Wow, imagine - Brock married?
Misty: (quietly) You and I wil be married someday too.
Ash: Mm-hmm... Huh! '

'Ash: (trying to explain to Misty why he noticed her sisters instead of her) I didn't see you for a while, so I thought you didn't like me anymore. I was stunned just now! When I saw how beautiful you've become, I was speechless!
Narrator: Warning: These are just excuses.
Misty: Flattery will get you nowhere. Here. (hands him a cob of corn)
Ash: What's this?
Misty: My treat.
Narrator: Actually, flattery works just fine.
Ash: It's like you had plastic surgery!
Misty: Quit while you're ahead!'

'Ash: Team Rocket, Prepare for Trouble! On second thought, make it Double!
Jessie: To protect the world from devastation?
James: To unite all people within our nation?
Ash: Maybe you think I'm a little to "brash", but the master is here and my name is "Ash"!
Pikachu: Pika!
Ash: My Pokemon travel faster than the speed of light. Surrender now, or you're in for a fight!
Meowth: Meowth, that's right! ' - ...This I GOTTA see...

Fullmetal Alchemist:

'There is no such thing as "There is no such thing."' - FMA

Hawkeye: on the phone Major, I'd just like to offer a bit of... feminine advice. BABIES AREN'T BORN AFTER JUST FIVE MONTHS!

'Maes: Gracia!
Gracia: Honey... It's here!
Maes: The tea?
Gracia: The baby!
Maes: Aaugh! But... but the doctor said next week!
Gracia: Well, the BABY says NOW! And I'm pretty sure SHE gets to CHOOSE! ' -FMA

Pretty much the entire Flame Vs. Fullmetal episode

'Izumi Curtis: You helped bring a new life into this world, and that's an invaluable experience.
Edward Elric: Naw... we just ran around, screaming our heads off, thinking she was gonna die. ' -FMA

'Hohenheim: Edward. So, do you still hate drinking milk?
Winry, Riza, Sciezka (in unison): That's not what he said, Edward... ' -FMA

Barry the Chopper/Number 66: Is that so!? What do you mean "is that so"!? People get terrified when they find out a serial killer comes back from the dead! And, an empty suit of armor moving on its own! You should be saying "Ahh!!" or, "AHH!!" or, "Wait- he doesn't have a body!" What's wrong with your body- (Al removes his helmet) -AHH! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR BODY!?
: sarcastically Take it easy, you're going to hurt MY feelings.

'(Ed is punching Envy; Envy transforms into Trisha Elric)
Envy as Sloth: Don't hurt me Edward.
Edward: Don't mess with me!
(Ed punches Envy again; Envy transforms into Marcoh)
Envy as Marcoh: Edward, please stop it.
(Ed punches Envy again; Envy transforms into Maes Hughes)
Envy as Maes Hughes: Calm down.
(Ed punches Envy again; Envy transforms into Roy Mustang)
Envy as Roy Mustang: Give up, kid. You don't have what it takes to kill me.
(Ed grins)
Edward: I don't think you could have picked an easier target!' -FMA

'Izumi Curtis: Morons!
Ed and Al: We're sorry.
Izumi Curtis: Fools!
Ed and Al: Yes ma'am.
Izumi Curtis: Numbskulls!
Ed and Al: You're right.
Izumi Curtis: Runt!
Ed and Al: Y-yes, ma-am ' -FMA

Hawkeye: That's right... Since Edward can't use alchemy...
: Just a kid that swears a lot.
: Yep, yep.
: A bratty little midget.
: Worthless, just worthless!
: Sorry, Brother, I can't follow that up.
: upset That's bullying!

Hughes: Because! My daughter's going to be 3 years old!
: Lieutenant Colonel Hughes... I am busy at work right now.
: Fancy that. I'm busy at work, too. It's just that she's sooo very cute every single day!
: I get it, so don't call me all the time to brag about your daughter each time! And not with a military line!
: Not just my daughter! I'm proud of my wife too!
: I wonder if there's a way to fry a person over the phone with alchemy, Hughes.
: Ooooh, the Flame Alchemist's scaring me. Oh yeah, speaking of alchemy, what's the lowdown on Scar?
: He hasn't been found yet. As it was a very large explosion, many unidentifiable bodies have been found. He might be among those... There have been no witness reports in the East Area, so the general consensus is that he's dead.
: So we can cut loose the Elric Brother's guards?
Roy: Yeah, since they're in Central, I'll leave that to the discretion of the brass there.
: The brass at Central, eh? Scar knocked out some of the higher-ranking guys in charge of the national alchemists, so there's a shortage in personnel.
: Oh, really...
: There's a rumor that a certain Colonel Mustang is about to be assigned to Central.
: Central, eh? Not bad.
: Be careful. Getting too far into the upper ranks at that age means you'll be making more enemies.
: I'm prepared for that.
Hughes: Be sure to get at least one more person who would understand and support you. So hurry up and get married.
: Don't be ridiculous!
Hawkeye: Colonel, please be quiet when you're talking on the phone.

Edward: Well, originally I was only hurt about half as bad as I am now but...
: flashback What?! He was severely injured when he snuck into Labratory 5?! runs toward a shocked Ed Oh, Edward Elric! I was so worried about you! crushes Ed with a hug, therby injuring him more
: end flashback ...THAT's what happened.

Roy: Getting a double promotion for dying in the line of duty... Brigadier General Hughes, huh...? You said you'd support me from below. Just what are you going to do now that you've gone up higher than me? You idiot.

Hawkeye: Colonel. It's gotten cold. Aren't you going to go back?
: Yeah, I will. Alchemists are horrible people, First Lieutenant. Right now... a part of me is desperately trying to develop a theory on human transmutation. Now I feel like I understand what those boys felt when they tried to transmute their mother.
: ... Are you all right?
: I'm fine. ... Oh, no. It's raining.
Hawkeye: It isn't raini--
Roy: No. It's raining.
Hawkeye: ... Yes. It is. Let's go back. It's... getting cold.
Roy: There's no such thing as "professional" and "private". My intention as an individual is to become the fuhrer as well as to avenge Hughes. I'm sticking onto the brass. Will you follow me?
Hawkeye: You're asking me that now?


Military man: Colonel Mustang, there's a call on the public line for you.
: I'll take it. Ah, First Lieutenant Hawkeye. What's up? Aren't you off-duty today?
Hawkeye: No, about that...
Barry the Chopper: Missy~
: I just finished capturing a weirdo.
: What?

Barry the Chopper: I like strong women.
Hawkeye: Don't change the subject!
Barry the Chopper
: I think I'm in love!!
Hawkeye: ...Huh?
Barry the Chopper: Aw, c'mon, sweetie! Let me chop you up!
: Hell no!
Barry the Chopper
: Then how about the guy that's coming here?
Hawkeye: Not a chance!

Roy: (after seeing Barry grab Hawkeye around the waist) Step aside, Lieutenant. (eyes are points of light, pulls on glove) There's going to be a strong fire tonight.

Roy: You say I'm an idealist, but unless someone chases after pipe dreams, nothing will ever change.
: Inside me, the war isn't over yet. will never end as long as I live. It was my decision to trust you and pass my father's research on to you. I also made the decision to join the academy in hopes of improving the lives of this country's people. As much as I regret what's happened, I can't escape the fact that it was my choices that brought me to this position. I'm a killer, and no amount of denial or repentance can absolve me of that.

Edward: Hahahahaha! Catch me if you can!
: holding chainsaw Teehee! Come back here!

Ed: Uhh... Why do we need to be tied up again?

Falman: Why am I tied up too?
Buccaneer: If you're friends with them, you probably know something too.

Al: So no one's ever broken in here, then?
Olivia: Not since I've been here.
Ed: What about before that?
Olivia: Well, about twenty years ago... One of our guards out on the mountain got attacked in the dead of winter. Some mysterious woman stole his food and equipment.

Ed and Al: That was THAT.
: I lived for a whole MONTH out in Briggs, in the middle of winter!

Maria Ross: TOUCH ME AND I'LL SUE YOU FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT! (Major Armstrong continues to chase her around trying to hug her.)

Hohenheim: Have you.. grown bigger?
: Why phrase it like a question?
: You've gotten quite a reputation in Central, the "smallest State Alchemist" in history ever?
: It's the "youngest" grrr

Edward: I mean... for my age I'm pretty sho... sho... sh... short... grieves
: thinking He admits it...
: thinking He faced his trauma...


Edward: I think she (Winry) hated him (Scar) enough to kill. She was crying more than I'd ever seen her. I never realized it because she's always acting so cheerful but she was carrying the pain of losing her family this whole time. That's why I promised Al and I wouldn't die no matter what... But this time various things happened. Though the result is that we were able to come back alive, it could become a situation where I could make her cry again. I'm really no good. I cause her nothing but worry and I'm not prepared. If Ling hadn't helped me, who knows how it might have turned out...
: You worry because of the fact that you were able to come back alive. You have to worry and scrabble around in that way and even if it looks uncool, you have to survive. For the person important to you as well. Protect her.
: Eh?
: You love Winry don't you? Ed spits out his drink into Black Hayate's face.
Edward and Hawkeye
: ... Black Hayate just sits there with stuff on his face.
: shaking his head in embarrasment H-h-h-h-how no th-th-th-that she's just a childhood frien... like family!! I mean of course I'd protect her or whatever!!
: thinking Amusing... He's weak to direct hits. Black Hayate shakes the drink off his face

Edward: You're too nice, Master Sergeant. You shouldn't have brought back a dog when you don't even have the means to take care of it. turns to Al Right, Al?Al jumps, terrified, then starts to sweat as a kitten is heard in his armourscratching is now heard in the armour
: You picked up another cat and you're hiding it in there, aren't you, Al!!
: But it looked so cold, trembling in the rain!! Can I keep him!?
Edward: No!! Take it back to where you found it!!
: running away You're so mean, Ed!! I hate you!!
Edward: chasing after Al Don't run!! Think of the poor cat!!
Fuery: ...

'Ed: (horrified look while lifting weight)
Al: What's wrong big brother? Sprain your back?
Ed: I forgot this year's assessment.
Al: Ah!
Izumi: Assessment?
Ed: The annual assessment of State Alchemists.
Al: If he doesn't pass, his license is taken away.
Ed: Ugh... all cuz it's been so busy these days... crap...crap
Izumi (at the phone): Great. This is the perfect opportunity to quit being a military dog. I'll call ahead and let them know.
Ed: STOP! ' -FMA

'Sig: Ham. 100 grams. 128 cents.
Fuhrer: I would like to meet Mrs. Izumi Curtis.
Sig: Chicken breast. 160 cents.
Fuhrer: According to what I've heard, she's quite skilled in alchemy.
Sig: Cow shoulder chop, 200 cents.
Fuhrer: Perhaps she would be interested in becoming a State Alchemist?
Sig (with stress marks on his face) Minced pork and beef, 98 cents!
Armstrong: Words won't have any effect. Sir, please allow me to handle this. (turns to Sig) You stubborn butcher-shopkeeper! Behold the gracefulness of the State Alchemists! (rips off his shirt to reveal his muscles) Burn this awesome sight into your eyes!
Sig: ... (rips his own shirt off)
Armstrong: Hmmm?
(the two men glare at each other)
(they suddenly shake hands)
Mason: Whoa! It's a friendship forged from muscles!'

Roy: That's far enough. I'm awfully sorry about your grievances, but no one hurts my men.
Riza Hawkeye
: Colonel Mustang, wait!
: Colonel Mustang? Flame Alchemist Roy Mustang?
: The one and only.
: Colonel!
: Yet another soul who departs from God's path. Death will be swift.
: Brave enough to attack the Flame Alchemist. I'll make you a funeral pyre.
: Stubborn man! trips Roy and fires several rounds at Scar, who flees
Roy: That's not the way to get promoted, Hawkeye!
: Relax, sir, I just saved your life. Your flame attack's no good in the rain. (Roy is devastated)

RanFan: How could a follower be resting when the master is holding out on his own?

Al: Rehabilitation takes time.
: I'll get through it with willpower.
: Before that, they won't perform the surgery until you have a certain degree of strength.
: I'll get through it by begging.

ROY: ... You didn't run away?
HAWKEYE: Now who was the one who said
"don't give up no matter what"?

ROY: Just in case, if something happens
to me, go and escape on your own.

HAWKEYE: I don't want to.

HAWKEYE: Have you begun to remember?
ROY: ... how could I forget?

ROY: I'll probably be in the military for life. ...
HAWKEYE: Please don't die.

Edward: I think she (Winry) hated him (Scar) enough to kill. She was crying more than I'd ever seen her. I never realized it because she's always acting so cheerful but she was carrying the pain of losing her family this whole time. That's why I promised Al and I wouldn't die no matter what... But this time various things happened. Though the result is that we were able to come back alive, it could become a situation where I could make her cry again. I'm really no good. I cause her nothing but worry and I'm not prepared. If Ling hadn't helped me, who knows how it might have turned out...
: You worry because of the fact that you were able to come back alive. You have to worry and scrabble around in that way and even if it looks uncool, you have to survive. For the person important to you as well. Protect her.
: Eh?Hawkeye: You love Winry don't you? Ed spits out his drink into Black Hayate's face.
Edward and Hawkeye
: ...
(Black Hayate just sits there with stuff on his face.
: shaking his head in embarrasment H-h-h-h-how no th-th-th-that she's just a childhood frien... like family!! I mean of course I'd protect her or whatever!!
: thinking Amusing... He's weak to direct hits.
(Black Hayate shakes the drink off his face)

Al: Wait a minute! I don't know what this is about, but you shouldn't fight...
Mei: Don't...
RanFan: Do not...
Al: (Scared) Yes!

Knox: (Smashing a washbasin and a bowl of soup on the girls' heads) WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!! Patients should be sleeping quietly!
Mei: (Clutching head pitifully) P-Please do not cut into the affairs of our...
Knox: Like I care about the affairs of your country, idiot!! Patients are patients anywhere in the world!! Jeez...
(Mei and RanFan glare at each other as soon as his back is turned.)
Mei and RanFan
: Yes!
:What is this, do you guys plan on trashing my house even further? I see, I see. Let's say you get a strange virus from the doctor's house and everyone dies. Doesn't that sound fun?
Mei and RanFan
: (Weakly) We apologize...

Soldier: Lieutenant! Lieutenant Hughes!
: It's Captain.
Soldier: Oh! Excuse me! It's a letter.
: OHH!!
: What is it?!
: It's my 'beautiful future'!
: Gracia... A woman?
: She's in Central! She's been waiting for my return all this time! Ahhhh!! What'll I do if some guy is making a pass at her?! No, there's no way Gracia would leave a great guy like me to have an affair! No no no, but there's still no way the guys around her would leave such a great woman alone...
Roy: Hughes... I'll give you one word of advice. It's a common pattern in movies and novels. Guys who talk happily about their family or lovers on the battlefield have a high chance of dying! Stop it right there!

Edward: I'm going back to my mechanic. You know the one.
: Sure, Ed, how can I forget? I saw you at her house, unconscious, with that same stump of an arm you have now, bawling in your sleep, "It hurts! I'm gonna pee my pants!" So tough.

Falman: Saturday 0946 hours. With papers waiting for his approval and due by noon, the Colonel decided to take a nap instead.
: 1026 hours. The Colonel attempted to feed Lieutenant Hawkeye's dog. The dog was not biting.
: At 1103 hours he started obsessively cleaning the windows, with still no progress on those papers, with the deadline on fast approach.
: Then at 1147 hours, the Colonel began to furiously sign the papers, all the while cursing that he didn't have time for this.

Mustang: Damn it! I still don't see why I have to tag along on their stupid midnight ghost hunt!
: Because they admire you more than you realize.
: What good is admiration from other men?

Roy takes Fuery's glasses off and places them on a surprised Lieutenant Hawkeye. He cocks his head and smirks at her.
: Not bad at all.
: That's very funny, sir.

Hawkeye: General? General?! Damn it Roy Mustang, talk to me!

Roy: What's the frown for?
: The plan was perfect, you did your part, but I should have gotten there sooner to protect you.
: Nothing's perfect, the world's not perfect, but it's there for us, trying the best it can. That's what makes it so damn beautiful. (playing with Riza's hair)
: shoves apple in his mouth Shut up and eat.

Edward: Let's go. This whole castle's about to explode.
Alphonse: Why!?
: 'Cuz I don't like it, I made some adjustments to the steam tanks. smirk
Edward: There's no point arguing now! Come on, let's go!
: Go where?! We're floating on water, and if I get wet, I could wash off my Blood Seal!
The castle suddenly explodes. Cut to Ed and Al floating on a piece of metal.
Edward: We're sinking! We're sinking! We're sinking! We're sinking!
: I know, I know, I'm trying!
: Faster Al! AAAHHH! Give me your head! grabs Al's helmet and shovels the water out
: HEY! WILL YOU STOP?! GIVE THAT BACK!! reaches for it
: Well then, transmute something, you don't have to use my HEAD!! - Conqueror of Shambala

Roy: How stubborn. You must follow your orders no matter what.
Riza: I am proud of my pigheadedness.

Kimblee: She's so passionate about her work... just like her parents. I love girls like her.
: (Has a weird, frightening expression) You old...
: Oh relax, I'm not a pedophile for Pete's sake.

Winry: Why do I love this guy...

Roy: Is this seat taken?
: Colonel... Go ahead.
Roy: Boy, YOU'RE awfully cheerful. Something bad happen?
: No, nothing. How has work been?
: How do you think? I lost all my best assistants - now I can't even escape this crap on my lunch hour. How about you?
: There are so many things to keep track of...I'm constantly busy with something. But his Excellency gets things done quickly, so that helps. He never ducks out early, either. I should've expected things would be different, working for a true professional.
: Something tells me this conversation's about to turn south. Why don't we have lunch tomorrow?
: You mean like we're doing right now?
: Ouch. That's makes two times I've been rejected today.
Riza: Two times?
: Yeah, I ran into Major General Armstrong earlier. She left no room for interpretation, either.
: Same as ever, then?
Roy: Yeah, she's as harsh as the last time we met.
:Speaking of the north... Scar's worked his way up there... and so have the Elric brothers.
: Really?
: Lucy and Isaac from my academy class are up there, too...they taught me a lot.
: Hm... That reminds me, we'll be doing joint training with the north very soon.
: Is it time for that already? I remember working with Major Miles' and Captain Buccaneer's units several times. Their hairstyles are burned into my memory, even more so than their fighting ability. I always found myself wondering, "Aren't those two COLD"? And remember my friend Rebbecca?
: Yeah, the black-haired girl.
Riza: General Armstrong took a liking to her - she was so excited when she told me. I don't think she considered me anything special, she called for Dove, Lysander, Edgar, and even York to join her... The Queen of Briggs never had anything but sharp criticism for me. Then she asked for Ida and Sugar, I guess I was even lower than them in her eyes... The trenches in the north were the worst ones I've ever been in.
: No one in their right minds would ever try to take them during the dead of winter.
: Second Lieutenant Havoc got frostbite... he wasn't quiet about it, either.
Roy: Served him right - the idiot's socks were soaked in sweat and he didn't dry them out.
: Oscar and Mike were complaining non-stop during the winter training.
: I'll bet. No one likes being out in that frigid weather.
: Actually, it was about how bad the north's rations tasted.
: They don't know how good they had it! Nothing's worse up there than the coffee!
Riza: And my friend Uni, who worked in the mess hall?
: Ah, him. They sent him to bring some supplies back to the fort...
: He went with Nora, since she was a great sniper, and the brought back a nice big deer. It was delicious...Charlie grabbed it on the sly and Uni didn't get a single bite.
: That was his own fault. One of the sayings in Briggs is "Drop your guard and you'll be devoured."
Riza: Of course, Lucy was always the biggest eater.
: She'd gained some serious weight the last time I saw her. I mean, she was on par with BREDA.
Riza: I heard Uni once joked that if she "ate any more pork, she'd be cooked for dinner tomorrow."
: Oh man, that started one hell of a fight!
: If you were there, you should've stopped it. Starling tried to calm them down and he ended up in the hospital!
Roy: That takes me back... Wow.
: Well, I don't have any more time for chit-chatting. I've got to get back to work.
: Right.
Riza: Sorry to leave you alone.
Roy: No problem.

Roy: Crap, I've only got a few minutes to hit the bathroom.

Roy: "Scar" is in the north, as well as the "Elrics"... "Lucy..." and "Isaac" taught her a lot... "Miles" "Buccaneer" "Rebecca" "Armstrong" "Dove" and "Lysander" Next was "Edgar"... "York", "Ida", "Sugar"... "Havoc", "Oscar", "Mike", "Uni", "Nora"...

Roy: What the hell is this... Impossible... It can't be... can it?!

Kimblee: Don't tell me you became one of the Military's dogs without the nerve to kill?
: It's called the RESOLVE to not kill!

Ed: Let me talk to Al, and Winry first...
Kimblee: Why Miss Winry?
Ed: I haven't told her a thing. It's not fair to keep her in the dark anymore. She's involved now. I don't care what kind of 'work' I have to do, but I refuse to keep betraying her trust by lying.
: Very well. But just to make sure you don't say anything unnecesary, I'll accompany you.

Ed: Here's the situation. Winry, you're being held hostage.
: ... Eh? Huh? What's he talking about, Al? Is he joking? Ed... What are... Tell me what's going--
: This isn't a joke!

Ed: My superiors are demanding I start carrying out my job as a human weapon.
: But that...
: Yeah. It means I might have to kill a lot of people.
: THEN TELL THEM NO! Oh... But then I'd...

Winry: ... I'm... I'm just burdening you two even more.
: D-d-d-d-d-d-d-don't cry!
: I'm not crying! I'm so sorry. I'm mad at myself for letting this happen without even noticing... I'm so stupid...

Winry: Everyone scoot over!
Winry: There's no room back here! Move over, Al!

Winry: It's just, you know how I changed Ed's automail to work better up here? I've never made frigid weather automail before, and I'm worried that it might beak down. I have to go with him, in case he needs maintenance. I want to be absolutely sure he's got the best possible equipment! When I attached it, I just said 'Okay, I'm done!' but if it breaks down, the Rockbell name will be tainted forever!
: Jeez, woman, you're a workaholic! You're crazy!
: You bet your butt I am! I take pride in my work! We've been in business ince my great-grandfather's generation!
: Okay, okay. I get the point. You may come.

Ed: Here's the situation. Winry, you're being held hostage.
: ... Eh? Huh? What's he talking about, Al? Is he joking? Ed... What are... Tell me what's going--
: This isn't a joke!

Ed: My superiors are demanding I start carrying out my job as a human weapon.
: But that...
: Yeah. It means I might have to kill a lot of people.
: THEN TELL THEM NO! Oh... But then I'd...

Winry: ... I'm... I'm just burdening you two even more.
: D-d-d-d-d-d-d-don't cry!
: I'm not crying! I'm so sorry. I'm mad at myself for letting this happen without even noticing... I'm so stupid...

Winry: Everyone scoot over!
: There's no room back here! Move over, Al!

Winry: It's just, you know how I changed Ed's automail to work better up here? I've never made frigid weather automail before, and I'm worried that it might beak down. I have to go with him, in case he needs maintenance. I want to be absolutely sure he's got the best possible equipment! When I attached it, I just said 'Okay, I'm done!' but if it breaks down, the Rockbell name will be tainted forever!
: Jeez, woman, you're a workaholic! You're crazy!
: You bet your butt I am! I take pride in my work! We've been in business since my great-grandfather's generation!
: Okay, okay. I get the point. You may come.

Darius: You should be back at the base, girl!
: I'm sorry... I know I'm in no position to make demands... but I can't... I can't just sit around waiting... I just want to be here for these two... S... Sorry...
(Ed, Al, and the driver glare at Darius as Winry covers her face.)

: Huh? Wha? M-Me? Err, Uh... Just be quiet and, uh... do what we say, and it'll be okay! A...Alright?
(Winry reveals an evil smile behind her cupped palms and Ed and Al sweat.)

Ed and Al: (Thinking) How can we ditch these guys? (Idea) A SHADOW! SOMEONE'S OVER THERE!
: This way!
: C'mon!
: W... Wait up!
: HURRY IT UP!! He's getting away!
: Slow down, dammit! ST-- ...op?
(A solid wall blocks their path and Ed and Al escape gleefully behind their transmuted wall.)

Roy: Evening. Miss. This is your favorite florist making a courtesy call.
: (annoyed) I don't HAVE a favorite florist.
: Yeah, sorry. I got really tanked and bought a ton of flowers. Think you could do me a favor and take some off my hands?
(Riza sighs in relief)
: What's wrong? Did something happen?
: No. Nothing.
: Yeah? You sure?
: No. Nothing. Everything's fine, sir. I'm sorry, though. I don't have any vases or pots here. I appreciate your calling me, Colonel.

Riza: How does he manage to have such good timing?

Miles: Kimblee will be quick to suspect us. We need to plan this part carefully or we'll end up endangering ourselves.
: This is...kinda hard for me to say... But what if he sees Scar taking me as a hostage... would that work?
: Y-you wanna release this freak...
: The scenario's basically, "Scar runs off with me while you try to stop him."
Ed and Al
: Are you NUTS?!
: Our LIVES are in danger!! I'm going to have to risk my life if all of us are gonna escape! I'm tired of sitting off to the side!
: We are NOT letting you go with Scar!
: Right! You don't NEED to take a huge risk like that!
: You told me I was involved now, too! Stop trying to handle everything by yourselves!

Soldier: Wait, miss! Your earrings! They're metal, right? If you leave them in, they'll freeze and your ears will get frostbite!
: Huh? Oh!
: Get going! Kimblee's almost here!
: Ed!
: Huh?
: Hang on to those for me! I'll see you at the fort!
Ed: R- Right!

Roy: Takes you back, doesn't it, Lieutenant? I can still see the tears running down your cheeks... Such pure tears... If only I could see them again.
Riza (annoyed): I thought you hated water? It makes your abilities useless!

Scar: Now start fighting!
Roy: Don't try to order me around...
Riza: Roger. We're targeting these white things, correct?
Ed: It won't work, Lieutenant! Bullets don't hurt them!
Riza:Not again! They don't work on anything these days...

Roy: I'm thinking of recommending you as my aide. I want you to protect my back. Do you understand? To entrust my back to you means that you can shoot me from behind anytime. If I step off of the path, shoot and kill me with those hands. You are qualified to do that. Will you follow me?
Hawkeye: Understood. If that is your wish, then even into hell.

Mei: In Xing, we call an immortal a "true person." In our language, the word for "true" can also mean "perfect." Likewise, gold is called the "perfect metal." And we have a saying, "He who does not grow old, surely must be made of gold!"

Mei: Some say the man who taught Xing about Alchemy had golden hair and golden eyes, that's why people thought he was immortal!
: Ooh! Golden hair and eyes, just like Ed and Al!

??: Heeeeeey-
: Hm?
??: Over heeeere- Heeeey! Help meee!
: A-AL?!
: BWAH! I'm alive!! I tripped on something and got buried.
: What the heck are you doing out here?!
: I have trudged over the mountain in the middle of that raging blizzard to warn you.
: Warn us?

Ed: Eeeeeeasy, boys! You know what this is, right?
: You stupid punk!
Monkey: That stuff is soaked, there's no way it'll ignite.
Ed: Pop quiz, gramps. What's dynamite made of?
Lion: Eh? Uhh...Nitroglycerin, right? Nitroglycerin is the main ingredient...
: And ammonium nitrate, or something?
: And why do they use ammonium nitrate?
: OBVIOUSLY ammo... nium...
: Tee hee

Al: Huh? Wha?
: Al!
: (Wearing Al's loincloth as a cape and holding his head.) Al-sama!
: You're awake? Are you all right?
: Hey, HEY! Why the heck am I all in pieces?
: Oh thank God...I didn't know what we'd do if you didn't regain consciousness...
: You passed out on us. You were too big and heavy to carry in one piece, so we split your body up.
: Aah... Sorry about that. Right...and if I'd been in one piece, there's no way you both escape and save me if you ran into trouble.

Falman: How're things out west?
: It blows, man. We're fighting all along the Pendleton border, and it's brutal. They way they fight down here, it's like they're TRYING to kill as many people as they can, on either side, and still win. It's just like you warned me about. The army's charging in first, starting these horrible, bloody battles, and right on the points for that underground transmutation circle.
: Any word from Fuery?
: I talked to him a little while ago. I heard guns going off, he's in the middle of a fight with the Aergo army in the southern part of Fotsett. Us old Mustang dogs ain't too popular, eh buddy? They keep shoving us into one war after another.

Selim: You really DO wear armor! Awesome!!
: Who the heck is he?

Salem: Are you really Armor-san's big brother? Edward Elric? The State Alchemist?
: Yep.

: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-say that again. I'll knock you all the way to Neptune.
: Wow, so you DO go crazy when someone calls you "short"!

Mrs. Bradley: He's always been devoted to his work, though. Though he's a complete dunce when it comes to understanding women... One time he was so rude, I slapped him in the face! I guess it was fate, though, because we've been together ever since! Why, on our first date... Oh, would you listen to me! Never mind, never mind. Teehehehehe...

Selim: I tripped... over your head.
: Is he REALLY that horrifying homunculus? Without his powers, he really does seem like a child.

Al: You've tricked Mrs. Bradley so easily... Wait, is she in on it all?!
: No. She's a normal human...she knows nothing.
: So you ARE deceiving her! Laughing at her from the shadows! That kind, gentle woman-
: You're right. "It" is known as a "good mother" to the everyday world. Once, I was nearly run over by a car, and she jumped in front to protect me. If I wanted, I could've moved at any time... but her desperate attempts to save me left me utterly bewildered. Though I have a father, there has never been anything I could refer to as a "mother." Thus, I was intrigued. "Is this what it's like to have a mother...? Though we were only pretending to be a family, I am fond of that creature. That is the truth.

Al: (To himself) Ack! Don't be fooled, don't be fooled!

Al: So, you, uh...need us as "Sacrifices," right? If we'd decided to sneak off and hide in another country, all your efforts would've been for nothing. Kind of a poor strategy, don't you think?
: But you remained. With no regard for your own safety, you returned to Central to fight. Because you are humans. We have absolute faith in the unshakable determination of the human heart. The humans with the most exceptional drive and will are who we chose for our sacrifices.
: ...I can't tell if I'm being complimented or insulted.

Ed: Major General Olivia Mila Armstrong... the Major's sister!
: She doesn't look anything like him!
: She's not gigantic!

Olivia Armstrong: I don't care about letters. The ideas and opinions of others don't affect me. I decide with my own eyes. Enter, Fullmetal Alchemist. I'll warn you, I don't play around. This is the mountain fortress of Briggs. Only the strong survive here.

Doctor: Automail used up here needs to be light, flexible, and made with materials that resist the cold. It needs to be sturdy, but the user's health should always be considered first. After a lot of trial an error, we found a combination of duralumin, carbon fibers, nickel, and copper worked best.

Ed: Aaah. No wonder I couldn't break his automail. I assumed that it had to me mostly iron, so that's what I tried to decompose.

Doctor: At minus 7 degrees, your automail won't last more than three hours. Take care not to stay out longer than that.

Al: HEY! MY HAIR!! looks stupid...

((Ed tries the coffee of the North.))
: That'll be 100 Cenz, please!
((Ed spits out the coffee.))
: Thief... (The Eastern HQ's coffee was a lot better.

Ed: That freakin' crazy woman wouldn't even listen AND she said she'd tear out my anten-

Olivia: You want something, Tiny Red Alchemist?

Doctor: Don't worry about it. A lot of people here have things they don't want to talk about. It's part of our reputation...or pride, even.
: Yeah, but if word got out, I could be court-martialed...
: Same goes for me. So what?
: Hoo boy...

: Major Miles. Find these two some work.
: The only thing here that doesn't work is FOOD.
Ed and Al
: ...Well said...

Ed: Ah- Er, if I offended you, I apologize. I guess... I just ask these things because I hate being ignorant.
: An ignorant State Alchemist, huh...

Olivia: What're you trying to pull, Miles? Race, lineage, gender, rank... Worrying about that shit in battle does nothing but increase casualties. We absolutely cannot lose Briggs. No matter what happens, we must stay united! Never let your resolve waver! We stand together as ONE ARMY! Miles! You're not just Ishvalan. You're a descendant of many races. That heritage lets you look at this country from many different points of view. I need you much more than a native Amestris who was born and raised in one environment. So shut up and follow orders.

Miles: She made a lot of sense. There were no lies in her words. When I asked what she'd do if word got out an Ishvalan was alive in her unit, you know what she said? "Bring 'em on. I'll fight whatever delegates or politicians they throw at me." Not bad, eh.
: Man, what a tough woman. What was she gonna do, have her units fight the main army?
: No, if you saw her eyes, she really meant she'd fight them one-on-one.

Ed: I can't reeeeeach...
: I got it.
Ed and Al

Hawkeye: Right. A "hero" from that horrible war becomes nothing but a mass murderer. Not just the Colonel, but Dr. Knox and the others who took part in human experimentation. Even I would be tried as a criminal for what I did. The only thing that really protects a soldier is his uniform.

Ed: He understands that and he's still aiming to usurp them? That's suicide!
: He said he'd protect those beneath him... So knowing him, that probably means he'll do whatever it takes to protect his subordinates...meaning us.

Ed: That's... too unfair... That's retarded! Of course you want to make everyone else happy, but you can't just forget yourself! Sacrificing yourself's the most selfish thing you can do!
: It's not selfish. It's just the difference between who we are now and who we were then. You're the same way, you know.
: Huh?
: All you think about is how to bring back Alphonse's body, not your own. You've got plenty to do instead of worrying about us. Get your original bodies back. There are a lot of people waiting for you to do so.

Hawkeye: I just have to keep one step ahead. Being the Fuhrer's deputy means I have more chances to slit his throat while he sleeps, or something...

Mei: Umm...Armor-san... Thank you so much... for saving me earlier...
: My name's Alphonse. Alphonse Elric.
: Elric?
: You know Edward Elric, right? The short Alchemist from earlier. I'm his little brother.

Al: You already know since you were inside, but I don't have a body. Keep it a secret, ok?
: What happened to it?
: Errr...It was kinda...taken, I guess... We're searching for a way to get it back.
: If you're THAT THING's brother, does that mean you look just like it?
: NO WAY!! For starters, I'm WAY taller than him!
: What about your face?
: It's not all nasty-looking like him! I definitely have a kind, gentle look!
: What kind of hair?
: Silky, smooth, short and blonde! Plus I'm a much better fighter than him, but I'm not short tempered at all! I'm a perfect gentleman!

Mei: ALPHONSE-SAMAAAA! I hope you get your body back really soon!
: Wha? Uh, thanks... Really soon, huh...

Hohenheim: Yes, the church of Leto...the one that started the revolution here.
: Well, uh... It's right over there.
Hohenheim: What the heck is that?
: That statue was made by the alchemist who exposed the Church's fraud and brought their operation down.
: We plan to make a monument out of it and put it in the town square when the repairs are done.
Hohenheim: Uhh... I don't know who made that, but their taste is a

Winry: Dr. Marcoh, you're hurt!
: Oh these are nothing...but my back's killing me. I'm embarrassed that you have to see me all beaten up like this...
: You can't keep pushing yourself like this!
: Seeing you reminded me of your parents, Mr. and Mrs. Rockbell. And made me realize that running away was cowardly and unfair...because there was still something I could do. I wanted to do what I could, no matter how far I had to push myself.
Winry: I understand... just don't do it again.

Envy: If you value your friend's life, you'll do what I say!

Mei: We only knew each other for a short time... yours is such a noble sacrifice.
: We'll always remember you!
: NOOOO! M-Master Scar! You're my friend, aren't you? LOOK AT ME, YOU TRAITOR!

Marcoh: Don't push your luck, Envy. We're not playing around any more. You try anything funny and we'll obliterate you AND that man in a heartbeat.

Marcoh: I thought I was gonna have a heart attack... bluffing's not my forte.

Yoki: You people are monsters! We are no longer friends! I'm done with all of you!
: Heh. Who said we were friends in the first place?
: Al-sama, you're so cool!

Scar: This is no time to worry about someone else's country. Did you really come here with such little dedication? if you get caught up in our affairs, will you tell the people who gave you your task, "Sorry, I couldn't help Xing because I was wrapped up in saving Amestris?"

Al: I didn't understand anything you said about Rentanjutsu, but thanks for trying to teach me.
: Al-sama...

Winry: She's gone...
Al: What a lively little girl.
: I think you're more broken up than you're letting on. (Laughs)
: What're you smirking about?
: Mei's a princess, right? If you're lucky, your 'lanky pal' status might be reversed!
Al: Lanky pal... Palanquin?
: I think I'll take a break. Make me some tea, would you Lt. Hawkeye?
: Yes, Sir.
: I see you know about Selim.
: ...I do.
: And you know about my true identity as well, correct?
: ...I do, sir. Are you going to kill me because I know too much?
: No. I was just curious. What does an ordinary citizen think, knowing her country's leader, and his son, are Homunculi?
: ...I think it's sad that the family we should trust in the most is nothing but a sham. You're just playing house, aren't you? Laughing in the shadows while you pretend to be humans, all the while thinking us a foolish, ignorant species?
: "Playing house." Indeed. I was given a "son" to make the game more realistic. But it doesn't end with him. I was given "power," "subordinates," and the position of "Fuhrer." "Playing Nation" would be more accurate. However, I chose my wife myself. Is the tea ready yet?
: Oh-- Yes, sir.
: Mmm. Very good.

Alex Louis Armstrong: Could you please get off my foot, sister?

Rose: Ed's not with you?
: Ah...uh... no, he's...somewhere else today.
: Oh...too bad.I wanted to see him again.
Al: Oh ho ho?
: What're YOU smirking about?!
Al: You had a weird look on your face, that's all. What're you thinking about?
: Are you Ed's-

Rose: You're on the run... So plain earth-tones will make it easier to move about! What would be best... Is the bath hot enough, Winry?
Winry: IT'S AWESOME!! I'm in heaven! I can't even remember the last time I took a bath.
: I'm putting your clothes out here.
: Okay! Thank you so much! You're so nice, Rose... Soo...nice...

Rose: I think you're amazing. Living on your own, working in an Automail shop at your age. Did you do Ed's leg, too?
: Yes. We're old friends, I kinda felt like I had to... I wonder if Ed's okay... Maybe someone's heard something... I hope he's relaxing in the tub somewhere safe, too...
: Wooow. So you built the leg that supports Ed. And when he came here, he helped US stand on our own. That makes you our savior's savior. I completely fell for Church of Leto's lies because they told me they could bring my lover back from the dead. Then one day, Ed and Al just waltzed in and revealed the truth. Those who'd devoted their lives to Leto, like me, were left depressed and disillusioned.
: What did they do to help you get through it?
Rose: Well, Ed got really mad and said, "Stand on your OWN legs, and start walking forward!"
Winry: Gh- : Sheesh, why does he always have to rub salt in peoples' wounds?
Rose: Ahahaha... I'm glad he got angry at us, though. He opened everyone's eyes...including mine. Maybe the true cause of the revolt was people placing all their faith in miracles and not thinking for themselves. That's why we're going to bring Reole back to prosperity without waiting for a miracle to do it for us. We're going to recover though our OWN efforts. We're all so grateful to Ed and Al. If the deceit had continued much longer, we started thinking we were invincible and become one of those crazy "armies who don't even fear death," or whatever they call them.

Ed: Huh? What're all you soldiers doing here?
: We're a search party. Have you seen anyone suspicious come in or out of here lately?
: Suspicious...? What do they look like?
: Let's see... He wears a red coat...blond hair in a ponytail... SHORT.
Soldier 2
: What the hell? Harris?! Who did this to you! Snap out of it!

Darius: Geez, you took 'em ALL down alone.

Ed: ...That was close.
: Whew...
: All right, transmute this car into something more practical.
: Why? This look is totally badass!
: Just do it. PLEASE.
: What the hell? You two have a problem with my design?
: Yeah...too many to list.

Hohenheim: You really process things quickly.
: Actually, if I had pants, I would've peed them by now.

Hohenheim: Pinako and I knew each other must be fifty, sixty years ago by now. She introduced me to Trisha...
: ...and you two got married?
: Oh, boy. I took one look at her and totally swooned.
: ..."Swooned?" (How can he say this stuff with such a straight face?)

Lin: So... hungry... Thank goodness... I never thought I'd meet a friend in a place like this...
It wouldn't be an encounter with Lin if he wasn't passed out on the ground.
: ... It's Lin.

Ling: Wheeew! I feel like I've been brought back from the dead! Thanks!
: Well, you haven't lost your ability to inhale all the food in sight...pig.

Winry: Whew, I haven't been here in forever. Ick, everything's covered in dust... I'll have to clean up tomorrow.
: Is someone in there?!
Guy 2
: You okay, miss?!
: Is someone in there?!
Darius: You okay, kid?!


Winry: I was so scared...
: Y-yeah...I'm really sorry... I'm glad you're safe, too-
: Now exactly WHY were you hiding in MY room?
: ...because it's the best place in the watch for people trying to break in...

Pinako: What's all this, now? There's MORE of you filthy bums are dirtying up my house, now?

Ed: ...Take Grandma and Den and go hide in another country.
: Are you SERIOUS?! What's the point of only telling your friends and family to run?! Are you saying you can't stop all that from happening anymore?!

Ed: We CAN stop it, and we WILL! But there's that small chance-
: There's no SMALL CHANCE! There's no NOTHING! You have to stop those guys and protect our country! And you and Al have to get your original bodies back! I have to do whatever I can to help!
: Geez, talk about simplifying things...
: NOW what? You never give in that easily-
: Oh my God, quit nagging me, woman!
: Ed!

Mustang: The Armstrong Family's wealth never ceases to amaze. "Large" doesn't even begin to describe the mansion. In fact... I think you could fit a company...maybe even a full battalion in here.

Mustang: Oh, here's a gift, to celebrate your inheriting the family estate. I believe I told you last time that we have excellent florists here in Central, right?
: Mmhmm, you certainly did. Hyacinths? 'Selim Bradley is Homunculus...'
: Do you know what the word "hyacinth" means? "Feminine Grace and Beauty."

Hawkeye: The Fuhrer's gone, and "Selim Bradley" left with his "father." We have to make our move now. Move out, Second Lt. Breda, Master Sgt. Fuery
: No more ranks - we're plain ol' deserters now.
: Man...there's no future for us.
: (Smiles) We've got a responsibility to our Colonel!

Ed punches his father with his automail arm.
: Aaah...that felt good.
: Why did you have to hit me with a RIGHT?!

Ed: Fabric store! Lady, give me that red cloth back there!
: You got it.
: What're you buying?
: Hehehe...THIS is more like it. Ta-daa! Wheeehehe!
: Ugh.
: Not that gaudy red coat again!

Greed: What's with you and red?
: It's a badass tough-guy color! Gets the blood boiling! This next battle against them could be my last. I need to stay motivated.

Grumman: We'll have to leave all the ugly Central business to Colonel Mustang.
"Bradley's administration's worked up until now without any major problems."
"When Colonel Mustang and Major General Armstrong strike, they'll be painted as traitors."
"If it goes well, the top brass and the general public will fall for it."
"And when they do, I make my move."
"With them established as the "bad guys", the great "hero" General Grumman will appear to save the day."
:"I'll be able to seize power with almost no risk to me."
"I'll let the kids handle all the dirty work."
: ...I wouldn't put it past this old codger to have that as his REAL plan.

Ling: Glad you're feeling better! I've been eager to see you again, Ran Fan!

Guy: Yeah. That "Madame Christmas?" Her real name's "Chris Mustang." She's Colonel Mustang's foster mother.

Madame Christmas: Aah, my poor palace...
: Cut me some slack, I said I'd buy you a new one.
Madame Christmas
: Nah, I need to lay low for a while. No shopkeeping for me.

Breda: You're late, Colonel. We were about ready to ditch you.
: At this point, I'm even happy to hear your insubordinate yapping! You're sure you weren't followed?
: If we were, he (Black Hayate) would have let us know.
: Useful little guy, isn't he?
Fuery: Indeed. He should be a ranked officer, if you ask me.
: Well, let's say he's a 2nd Lieutenant then!
: He outranks ME?!

Mustang: The four of us all hold a one-way ticket to the battlefield. There will be no going back if we fail. And as such, I have ONE order, and you WILL obey it.

Mustang: "Do not die!" Is that clear?
: Aye aye, sir!

Hawkeye: I apologize for this had to happen at such a late hour, ma'am.
Mrs. Bradley
: Lieutenant Hawkeye?! Why are you doing this?!
: You'll have to forgive our sudden intrusion. Would you mind coming with us?

Father: Taking a useless hostage to deliberately appear to be a traitor? You humans are hopeless beyond belief.

Greed: GAHAHAHAHA! Freaking great! You're are SLICK, keeping such a great girl for a secret weapon!
: Gee, THANKS!

Clemin: We only need Mustang alive. The housewife's life holds no value to us. Eradicate the Colonel's men.
: Y-Yes, sir.
: There's only five of them. Use our numbers and overhwhelm then.
: Five? They're making their move with a single platoon?

Soldier 2: The Flame Alchemist uses long-range incendiary attacks, yeah?
Soldier 3
: Dunno, ain't never seen it.
Soldier 4
: How do we defend against that?
Soldier 5
: Sarge was there during the Ishval war.
: Yep, I saw him go to work.

Sarge: First, he transmuted all the dust in the air into a big fuse, sent it flyin' and the target went BOOM.
: Heheh, I don't get it...
Soldier 2
: Me neither!
(They laugh, and an alchemical fuse flies overhead.)

Soldier: FREEZE! You can't light any flames in a room this small, can you?
: ...But are YOU free to shoot?
: Free to shoot anyone EXCEPT you, Colonel Mustang.

Mustang: That's the one question I wanted to ask the most... and the least.

Mrs. Bradley: Am I... Has my husband... been abandoned by his own country? Or have I... been abandoned by him?
: I don't know. I don't now, but we will protect your life with ours. And when all is said and done, we'll prove to you that our side is in the right.

Charlie: You haven't told her that the Fuhrer's gone missing?
: No. We can't afford to have her faint and make moving even more difficult.
: Ain't someone who's passed out MORE easy to move around, sir?

Clemin: Where did those bastards get soldiers like this... What're our losses?
: S-Sir! 59 wounded! 0 dead!

Soldier: So that's the Flame Alchemist, huh?
Soldier 2
: I always heard he was amazing in Ishval...
: But... it's not nearly as impressive as in the stories.
Soldier 2
: Yeah... it's all been little pops and bangs...

Soldier: Shit, my eardrum's busted!
Soldier 2
: What's the damage!
Soldier 3
: 5 wounded! 0 dead!
: No deaths...we were lucky...
: The "Hero of Ishval" had the "Eye of the Hawk" watching him... And there've been no deaths... Don't tell me...
: They're taking it easy on us?!
Radio: Yes, sir. We have tons of injuries, but no deaths. Even their snipers are clearly avoiding lethal shots.They still haven't caught Mustang? What is Brigadier General Clemin DOING out there?

(Wiener?):I hear they're making their way through without killing our men...just pure military skill. There's no way they'll be able to keep THAT up.

Olivia Armstrong: One of our final contingencies is, "If the situation calls for it, leave me behind." "Survival of the fittest" is the iron law of Briggs! If I bite the dust here, it would only prove that I wasn't fit, and they would cast me aside. They are unflappable. Undeterrable. And they can act with or WITHOUT me. THAT is what makes a Briggs soldier. Don't treat the idea that I've "raised" them as superficial.

Armstrong: Right on cue. You're nothing but bait for the bears of Mount Briggs.

Helper: Charlie, I need more rounds, now!
: I've only got one left...for the coward's way out.
(Liar,you'd never stoop that low.)
: Ahh man, everyone's almost out of ammo.
: Listen, if things get really hairy, you two are to leave me behind and run.
: Roger that!
: ...You're SUPPOSED to say, "Well stay with you to the bitter end, sir."
: We don't get that attached to other men, sir.
: Cammy's waiting for me at home.
: I see, I see!

((An ice cream truck barges through the soldiers.))
: Hihi, Riza!
: Rebecca!
: When I saw the flames, I was like, "Over there", and I totally called it! And you're in a tough spot, too? Well, here're some presents for ya!
: "This thing's armored?!" "Nice! I love you, Rebecca!"
: Clam it, I'm not into broke guys!

: Here sir.
: Mmm. Thanks!
: Good to see you again, Colonel Mustang.

Maria: Second Lieutenant Maria Ross, reporting for duty of my own free will!

Rebecca: How come they're not advancing on us?
: With the Flame Alchemist on our side, they can only get so close. But the Colonel can't go around burning everything when we're in the middle of town...
: Oh, boo. I came here to find a good man, and all Central's got are COWARDS!

Rebecca: Xingese teargas canisters. Packed with capsicum.
: Huh? You brought this all the way from Xing?

Mustang: I didn't want you to be involved in this. Who ordered you out here?
: Would you like to speak to him?

Mustang: (Is he some Xingese big shot?) This is Army Colonel Roy Mustang. Sir, I am grateful for-
: Snxx- Kheheheh- This ain't gonna work. Let's keep the tone the way it's always been, Colonel.

Havoc: Serving the community for 80 years, this is Havoc Sundries. From underpants to armored cars, we're your one-stop shop for anything and everything! AND we deliver!

Havoc: So? How will you be paying?
: The owner's treating me. And he's not getting out of it!

Armstrong: ...Colonel Mustang and his former subordinates have taken the Fuhrer's wife hostage and are at large in the city.
: Huuh?! Why?! That son of a bitch! First he kills Lt. Ross, and now the Fuhrer's wife! He's the devil incarnate!
: They modified a stolen ice cream truck into their armory and are driving it to safety. And elsewhere, a rogue group appearing to be made up of northern soldiers has attacked Central's forces.

Olivia Armstrong: Ha! Yet another seat becomes vacant! Thanks a lot, Homunculus! You saved me the trouble of dirtying a treasured Armstrong family heirloom with that scumbag's filthy blood!

Kimblee: You would have no trouble escaping this situation with the stone at your beck and call. And once you were in a safe place, you could BOTH have your old bodies back. That's how your whole journey was supposed to end, wasn't it?
: ...But then we wouldn't save everyone else.
: "The greater good." You can't gain something without sacrificing something else.
: I wonder... Why are there only two choices? "Save yourself and abandon everyone else." "Give up on returning to normal and save the world." Why are those the only options? Why can't I choose "Save the world AND get our original bodies back?"

Kimblee: I see. Experiment thoroughly enough, and you may discover NEW laws that the world must then abide by. That would mean there is a FOURTH option... "You lose your chance to return to normal, AND you fail to save the world."

Alex Louis Armstrong: What is that creature, exactly?
Olivia Armstrong
: A homunculus. Bullets don't even faze him. Artillery-level shots are just about enough.
Alex Louis Armstrong
: Oh my! Well, that's my specialty, now isn't it?


Alex Louis Armstrong: Nh...
Olivia Armstrong
: Alex!
Alex Louis Armstrong
: Just a minor dislocation. Are you okay?
Olivia Armstrong
: Just some minor broken bones.


Major Gen. Armstrong: We often trained with the soldiers from Eastern HQ. I know of Hawkeye and Havoc. It would be a shame to lose them. There must be something we can do.
: Um... and Colonel Mustang?
Major Gen. Armstrong
: Right. Oh... I don't give a rat's ass about him! Actually... his downfall would please me. It would mean one less rival.

May: Like-I-SAID! To use Rentanjutsu, you have to read the flow of the Dragon Waves!!
Al: I keep telling you, I don't get what you mean!
SFX: Slap slap slap slap
May: You have to focus your mind on the feeling, and...SAN-HAI!
May: Of course you can!! Just go "Baaaaaaaa-" like this, and then "Vuoooooooooom-", and-
Al: I need SPECIFICS! Science and theories, not noises!

Hawkeye: The military isn't going to take them away. It will be their choice whether to come or not. To tell the truth I don't like the military either. Because at times, I am forced to take lives.
Winry: Then why are you in the military?
Hawkeye: There is someone I need to protect. It was not because I was forced by anyone, but it was my own free will. It is my own choice to pull the trigger for the person who I must protect. Until the day that person accomplishes his goal... I will pull the trigger without doubt.

Roy: (To Envy) I do enjoy watching foolish creatures dance like puppets on a string!
Ed: HEY!

Izumi: You helped bring a new life into this world, and that's an invaluable experience.
: Naw... we just ran around, screaming our heads off, thinking she was gonna die.

'Edward: Uhm... There's something I need to ask you, Colonel. It's this ring...
Mustang: I'm sorry, but I cannot accept this from another man.
Edward: It's not for you, damn it!
Hughes: Oh, so you're giving it to a girl? Blossoming early, eh shrimp?
Edward: NO! that's not it! What I meant is, do you know anything about this ring?
Mustang: It looks like a old ring to me, is there something special?
Edward: Well, I thought you might know something, but never mind...
Hughes: Something's fishy here, and it ain't cod.
(After a few seconds...)
Hughes: Wait! You're not planning on wooing my daughter, are you!
Edward: Excuse me?
Hughes:... Roy, let's grill this shrimp up. I'll get the skewers...
Mustang:...And I'll provide the flames.
Al: How could you, Brother, wooing a girl in the age of two!
Edward: SHUT UP! -FMA video game


'"The two of them should be more mature, like me!" Daisuke said
Takeru, Patamon, Hikari, Gatomon, Yolei, and Hawkmon's eyes widen, they turn red, and choke on their sodas'

"The only person that could take your dreams away is you, by giving up on them." (Davis)

"The darkness has not being conquered, and will continue to fight against the light forever, but as long as people remember to follow their dreams, evil will be kept at bay." (TK)

"If all you’ve got in your life is lemons, make lemon pie." (Argumon)

"Now it’s up to our children, and to children everywhere to follow their dreams. Who knows where they’ll end up, but the only way to find out is to take that first step into adventure." (TK)

Don't worry, it's never too late to go out and make your dreams become a reality!" (Yolei)

If only I'd had your optimism I might not have ended up with such a sad fate. But I was unable to maintain hope through the bad times and I drowned in my despair." (Oikawa)

"Human girls make human boys act sorta weird" (Veemon)

"Hold on to your optimism, your dreams and especially your friends, Cody. Perhaps if I had been more like you, I could have had adventures too." (Oikawa)

"We all had dreams but somehow got the idea they were worthless so we gave up on them when we shouldn't have, right?" (Boy)
You can't let other people talk you out of your dreams" (Davis)
I feel like I can do anything now" (Boy)
"You can if you believe." (TK)

We've all got shortcomings to face and problems we wish we didn't have, but you can't just lie down and give in to all of your troubles. Everyone has problems, but everyone has good things going for them too!." (TK)

"Well, I wanna open...a noodle cart!" (Davis)

"As long as we believe in ourselves and our dreams the dark spores will remain powerless against us." (Ken)

"Yeah! You think you can bully us? Well put up your dukes!" (Tentomon)

"Everyone must believe. Our children and the whole world might depend on it." (Sora's Mom)

"It doesn't matter if you don't have partner digimon! It doesn't matter if you're not digidestined! You don't need any of that stuff to have a really good life!" (Davis)

"What do I have to worry about? I've got my friends, my family, the digimon. Besides some guy with a letter opener on his face trying to kill me, I'm happy to say I don't have any problems." (Davis)

"Taichi! Gatomon! The National Guard! Takeru!" (Kari)

"I guess I've always wondered what it would be like to be an only child. But I love my brothers and sisters and I love having them in my life!" (Yolei)

Cody:'s a control spire.
Kari: What's it doing there?
Gatomon: Controlling, spiring--the usual.

Upamon: It's the forbidden valley of no return.
Kari:Why do bad guys always name things like that?
T.K.: It's in the job description, it's right after really stinky breath...
Cody: Even if this place was called the valley of duckies and bunnies, with the control spire there, there's trouble...

(after they enter the digiworld)
Kari: Wow, this valley sure looks forbidden
Davis: A few duckies and bunnies would sure spruce it up

(after the others are captured)
Ken: Awaken, Deltamon!
Veemon: Maybe it's a ducky or bunny (big angry looking
thing comes out) or not...

Ken: Like sands in the hourglass, so are your friends' lives

Kari: Where is he?
T.K.: Izzy? I thought we were waiting for Ken...

Wormon: (to Ken) Cheer up, you can destroy somebody tomorrow.

Wormon: Master, don't be depressed. I've got an idea. Let's grab some dark rings, capture a couple of innocent digimon and make their lives absolutely miserable.

Davis: Doesn't anyone have an idea?
T.K.: I have one.
Davis: What?!
T.K.: I say we run, and then after that we run some more.

Gatomon: Tai hasn't been this angry since I popped his soccer ball with my claws.

(Cody running out of apartement building with Upamon under his shirt)
Cody: Note to self; think of better way to sneak Upamon out of apartement.
(Crashed into Yolei)
Yolei: Hey! Be more careful next time!! Cody what have you been eating lately, you must have gained 20 pounds!
Cody: It's Upamon...
Yolei (eyes wide): You ate Upamon?!
Cody: Forget about it! Sora sent an email saying Biyomon's in trouble!
Upamon: Squak!
Yolei: Uh...your tummy's growling.

Matt: I've been living a lie..
Gabumon: You mean you're not a real blonde?

Tai: Matt's a little strange.

Matt (to Davis, about three minutes before he tries to knock him off a cliff): Fighting isn't always the answer.

TK: Oh... I can feel the heat coming up through my socks...
Matt: Well TK, maybe you should put your shoes back on.

Matt: Scared, Tai?
Tai: No bout you Matt?
Matt: Course not...piece of cake but..maybe I'll just hold on to you, to make sure you don't chicken out or anything...
Tai: Thanks Matt, I'll do the same for you.

Kari: You really want them to shoot you?
TK: What if you get, like, dead or something?

Gatomon: How long do humans usually sleep when they're sick, TK?
TK: It's tough to say for sure, Gatomon. But I guess somewhere between eight hours and eight years, give or take a minute or so.

Gatomon: I'll skip on the odor exhibit.
Patamon: Too late for that.

Kari: My light will lead us towards the others.
TK: Don't look at me, but I think it's like this night light I used to have that guided me towards the bathroom.

TK: Kari! Kari!
Gatomon: I think he just went crazy!
TK and Patamon: Kari!
Patamon: Kari!
TK: Kari!
Gatomon: Huh? They both flipped!

Patamon: Kari's such a graceful dancer.
Gatomon: She should be. I taught her everything I know.
Patamon: Teach me!
Gatomon: Okay!

"It's the forbidden valley of no return." - Upamon
"Why do bad guys always name things like that?" - Kari
"It's in the job description, it's right after really stinky breath..." - TK

"Listen T.K. Just because I have a rock band doesn't mean I can hide a band of rocks that happen to be Digimon." -Matt

Gatomon: He'd be kitty kibble if I could turn into Angewomon.

"Not Sensitive?! Why I'm so sensitive I need a special toothpaste so that my teeth don't hurt when I eat ice cream!!" -Davis

"I haven't made Sora this upset since I was sick in her hat!" -Tai

"Hey Tai. It's Matt. What's the big emergency? Call me. in background "ahhh..." bang Uhh. I gotta go... Grandma fell asleep on T.K. again." -Matt

Patamon: Yeah, well, do you know what I heard? I heard that trying to act too grown up is a sign of immaturity.
Elecmon: What's that?! If you got something to say to me, say it to my face! Come on, out with it, you weenie-headed two-toned pork chop!

Ken: But I don't understand... What is the light inside?

Tai: Our adventure in the Digital World might be over for now, but that gate won't stay closed forever. I have a feeling that this won't be the last time we see our pals, the Digimon. You wait and see... One day that portal will open again and we'll return to the Digital World. I wonder if Agumon will remember me? I know I'll never forget him or the rest of the Digimon. None of us will!

Cody (to Davis): Trying to win points with Kari? Looks like it actually worked this time...
Yolei: Not even Davis can strike out every time.
Davis: Oh yes, I can!!

Hawkmon (after Veemon runs through him): I feel faint.

Demiveemon/Upamon/Poromon (pigging out on candy): hmmm. hmmmph...
Poromon: I could eat these snacks all day!
Davis: Hey! That's not fair! Save one for me!

Gatomon: And in the end, every world might be covered in darkness; as dark as a black cat at midnight

Davis: Aw...I got sand between my toes!
Yolei (muttering): And your ears...

Mummymon: Do you see that?!
Arukenimon: Gee, I'm not sure. It's only one hundred feet tall!!

Gatomon (thinking): That catnip rinse makes my ears look too stiff...
Kari: So, ready to go?
Gatomon: Rome wasn't built in a day. Looking beautiful takes time.
Kari: So beautiful, can you help me wash the dishes?
Gatomon: Ah! Time's up!
Kari: Why are your ears standing up?
Gatomon: It's a neww look. It's quite the rage in Catmandu...
Kari: You know, most cats like mice, not mousse.

Joe is doubled up on the floor in pain and clutching his stomach
Kari: Joe what is it?
Joe: My stomach.
Kari: What's wrong does it hurt?
Joe: No. I'm just doing this coz it's fun

Takeru "T.K." Takashi: When you can't think of anything to say, do you always resort to fighting?
Ken: I guess...
Takeru "T.K." Takashi: That's your problem. You don't know when to talk and when to fight. Now's a good time to talk... on the other hand... it's also a good time to fight.

Sora: Tell me how you like your eggs and I'll do the best I can.
Joe: I prefer my eggs to be covered in salt and pepper, but I guess it doesn't really matter.
Tai: I like soy sauce.
Matt: How about salsa?
Sora: How about a reality check?
Izzy: I'll have mine with mustard and jellybeans, please.
Tai: Oh, gross!
T.K.: Jellybeans. That sounds good.
Mimi: What? You're all weird! My favorite is eggs covered in maple syrup! Sometimes I like to eat them with cherries on top!
Tai: Now that's weird!
T.K.: But I bet it's good.
Joe: You guys are completely making me lose my appetite! I mean, come on. Jellybeans and cherries on eggs? That's just crazy talk! Salt and pepper is all they need. Keep it simple. That's always been my motto.

“How long do humans usually sleep when they’re sick, TK?” -Gatomon
“It’s tough to say for sure, Gatomon. But I guess somewhere between eight hours and eighth years, give or take a minute or so.” -TK
“Wow, then considering how high her fever is, we’d better get comfortable.” -Gatomon
“I wish one of the older kids were here. I bet they’d know how to wake her up.” -TK
“You’ll think of something, TK.” -Gatomon
“Oh...” -Kari
“See? I knew you’d think of something.” -Gatomon
“Mmmm.” -Kari
“I’m still not sure that woke her.” -TK
“Mmm? Huh?” -Kari
“Or, I could be wrong.” -TK
“Hi, Kari.” -Gatomon
“Hit the snooze button, one more time. Please?” -Kari
“You’ve slept enough. How do you feel?” -TK
“I think my fever’s gone. So, how long have I been asleep for?” -Kari
“Let’s just say that when you fell asleep I had nine lives, and now I’m down to only three.” -Gatomon
“Where is everybody?” -Kari
“Mmm.” -TK & Gatomon
“Hey, I hear Patamon!” -TK
“I wonder if he’s found anyone.” -Gatomon
“Oh.” -Kari
“Who’s that with Patamon?” -TK
“It’s Biyomon.” -Gatomon
“And Sora.” -Kari

“They’re coming.” -Kari
“You mean Tai? When?” -TK
“Now.” -Kari

“Ah!” -TK
“Sorry if I gave you a wedgie.” -Piedmon
“Let go oh him!” -Kari
“Let go, Kari! Or he’ll get you too!” -TK
“No, I won’t let you go, TK!” -Kari
“Looks like you two are falling for each other.” -Piedmon

“It looks like a flip-flop with a bent nail in it.” -Kari
“Has everyone had their tetanus shot?” -TK

“What’s wrong, TK?” -Kari
“Something about this place is bothering me. I fell like I’ve been here before, and it wasn’t good.” -TK
“Maybe you ordered the wrong thing?” -Kari

“Uh-oh. Everybody’s gone!” -Patamon
“That’s really strange. They were all here just a minute ago.” -Kari
“All right, if you’re hiding, we give up! You can come out now! Ollie, ollie, oxen free!” -Patamon

“I love you, TK!” -Kari
“Yeah!” -TK

“I feel kind of fuzzy.” -Gatomon
“You are fuzzy. Hey, I feel it too!” -Patamon

“Smile! Not again.” -TK
“It didn’t go through?” -Kari
“No.” -TK
“What’s wrong with it?” -Kari
“Hmm. I don’t know. It says all lines are busy. There must be some kind of electrical surge.” -TK
“So what do you think we should do now, TK?” -Kari
“How ‘bout lunch?” -Gatomon

“If he even looks at Kari the wrong way, I’ll put a hole in his head! I don’t care if he is a mega!” -Gatomon
“That’s courageous, but crazy! Even if you could digivolve to ultimate, which let me remind you, you can’t, he’s too powerful!” -TK

Cody: The only way not to look suspicious is to sneak quietly.

Principal (over PA system): Will Mary Robertson please report to the office? Your locker is missing.

Matt: Moving right along, folks, Keep it moving. Our next stop on the tour will be the forest of irrelevant road signs. No pictures, please.

Tai ( to Koromon): AHH! What are you? Have you had your rabies shots?

Tai: So what am I supposed to do? Throw the digivice at the monsters and hope they get scared and run away?

Tai: Genius over there is trying to call the telephone repairman because the phones don't work.

Sora (to Tai): Maybe if your brain was as big as your hair you'd be a little smarter.

Sora: Now that the boys have holes in their heads, maybe their brains will get enough oxygen.

:trying to help Sora:
Joe (to Matt):Once it took four of us to get my grandmother off the toilet like that.

Izzy: Perhaps my definition of weird is different than yours.

T.K. (season 1): Boy, Patamon, I like swimming and everything, but that waterfall almost knocked off my underpants!

T.K.: I don't know, my mom said never to take candy or rope from strangers.

T.K. (thinking): What am I saying? We have to climb it. Sora told me to be brave!
(to Kari): Looks dangerous, you go first.

Gatomon (to Kari): Let's just say that while your were sleeping, I had nine lives, and now I'm down to three.

Tai: It's all my fault, right Sora?
Sora: Yes -

Izzy: Just one more thing.
Tai: Why do I wanna throw up every time you say 'just one more thing'?

Izzy: If we had a compass, we'd know which way north was.
Tentomon: I know where North is!
Izzy: Where?
Tentomon: It's the opposite of south!

Tai: Why? Do you think we're too dumb to understand?
Izzy: Yes!

(while Angewomon and Lady Devimon are fighting)
Tai: Wow! Look at them go!
Izzy: I know I shouldn't watch this, but I can't take my eyes off!
Kari: Get her Angewomon! That's right, knock that witch's butt off! Go!

Izzy: I’m not going to hit you, Tai.
Agumon: Can I hit you then?
Tentomon: I wouldn’t mind a swipe myself!

Izzy: We're the first humans to be digitally processed. That means we're pioneers, like Marco Polo.
Tentomon: Oh, I know what he was famous for! Marco!
Agumon: Polo!
Tentomon: Marco!
Patamon: Polo!
Tentomon: Marco!
Biyomon: Polo!

Davis: Are you the Digimon Emperor?
Ken: Speaking.
Davis: But you can't be the Digimon Emperor. You're a kid, just like me.
Ken: Correction, if I was like you, I'd be the one hanging from a cliff, not the other way around!

Jun: What are you doing?
Davis: Nothing.
Jun: Looks like you're packing for a camping trip.
Davis: "It's your imagination.
Jun: Are TK and the others going?
Davis: I don't remember.
Jun: Is Matt going?
Davis: Matt moved to another country.
Jun: Well, if all your friends are going, and Matt's going, can I go too?
Davis: Sure you can go! GO AWAY!

Gatomon: Why do they call those things on the top of the TV rabbit ears, why not cat ears? When was the last time you saw a rabbit sleeping on top of the TV?
Kari: This is what you think of?

Davis: Did you see that? Hey, guess what, Veemon? I'm one of the guys now!
Veemon: Davis, I'm confused. If you're one of the guys now, does that mean you weren't before? Does that mean you were a girl before? Why don't you ever tell me these things, Davis?
Davis: Uhh...

Tai: Ah, go to your party!
Kari: Okay.
Tai: I can't believe Sora's gonna read my letter. Waitaminute...Unable to deliver? I CAN'T BELIEVE SORA ISN'T GONNA READ MY LETTER! YOU TRY TO TELL A GIRL YOU'RE SORRY AND YOUR COMPUTER SHUTS YOU DOWN!

Computer: You have no new messages. Okay?
Sora: No it is not okay! Stupid Tai.

Tai: I like soy sauce.
Matt: How about Salsa?
Sora: How about a reality check?

"Kari's at a friend's house doing a science project on gravity and they need to see how long I can stand on my head, see ya!" -Tai

Kari: My brother and I had a give and take relationship. I would give and he would take

"Hey, its ok. All of us make mistakes. Look at Yolei, she makes them all the time! -Davis

Izzy-Do you know what a semi-conductor is?
Tai-A guy who works part time on a train?

T.K.:We have plans.
Kari:He means with me.

TK: Quick! Call 911! Or the Poison Centre, I'm gonna' pass out!
Matt: I told you, eat at your own risk, but you said you were hungry.
TK: You're crazy? What is this stuff?
Matt: It's a secret, but I'll tell ya. A little bit of hot sauce, a little wasabe, and a mystery meat I found in the refrigerator covered in green fuzz.

"Prodigous little devices aren't they!" -Izzy

TK: Together again!
Kari: Just like old times!

I was so close, so close. Huh! Uh oh! Now I'm in for it! Forgive me oh terrible one, the crest of Hope has regained its light. I failed but will make it up to you. I will work overtime and Sundays. -Demidevimon

"I can't believe he's gone, he left again. I never got to share the Digital World with my dad. I won’t make that mistake again. I'm going to share this world with my mom." (Cody)

That's it. I'm tired of beating myself up for what happened in the past. I'm not the Digimon Emperor anymore. I've paid for my mistakes. I know that and so do my friends!" (Ken)

Veemon: Now that Ken's run Tentomon out of his tree, maybe we can climb it and have a look around.
Davis: You bet!
Tentomon: Stay out of my tree! I know exactly how many pieces of bark are on it.

Apocalymon: Do you think it's fair that I should have to live with all this agony? Why should you get to laugh when I am forced to cry? Why do you get to taste the best life has to offer while all I do is choke on its leftovers? Answer me this! WHY DO ALL OF YOU GET THE PIZZA, WHILE I GET THE CRUSTS?!
Mimi: Ahh, I can't take all these metaphors!
Izzy: Boy, this guy really holds a grudge.
Apocalymon: I will rule the world and plunge it into darkness, so that I don't have to be alone anymore in my misery. A ha ha! A HA HA HA! Wait a minute, what am I laughing at? I'm supposed to be depressed!

non American dub (while Angewomon and Deviwomon are slapping each other)
Taichi: Is that how women fight?
Koushirou: Yeah, they must slap each other to death!

When one of us falls down, another one of us picks them up. That's the way it's supposed to be." (Yolei)

"We're your friends and we need you as much as you need us. Without your experience I don't know where we'd be." (Kari)

"Cody's a defence attorney. He's bought 100 briefcases because Armadillomon keeps sitting on them." (TK)

"There is no Hope without light and Light can't shine without Hope" (Azulongmon)

"The Light inside of our hearts is called Hope. (Takeru)

Fruits Basket

"What happens when the snow melts?"
"It becomes spring."'

Sometimes I think the whole world is conspiring to destroy my house.

We've just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. Though I believe the technical term is being an a

Hatsuharu: Whoa... I don't believe it. Someone just walked in who looks exactly like Yuki. A mystery.
Yuki: annoyed It is me.
Hatsuharu: But this is the main house.
Yuki: That's why I snuck in.
Hatsuharu: grabs a camera and poses with Yuki Peace. You too, Yuki, peace.
Yuki: extremely annoyed What was that for?
Hatsuharu: In commemoration of your coming to the main house after such a long time. And for me.

Kagura is doing laundry and tries to wring out Kyo's shirt, causing it to rip in two
Kyo: Tell me that didn't just happen!
Kagura: My love!
Kyo: My shirt!
Kyo: Why the hell is Kagura here!
Kagura: I'm here for Valentines Day, silly! It's a very important day for lovers to be together!
Kyo: You're not gonna find any lover in this house!
Shigure: Kyo, behave please. I don't want the house getting... you know... smashed.
Kyo: Damn it! I should've left on that journey sooner! How was I supposed to know today was Valentines Day!
Yuki: It's called a calendar, stupid.

Ayame: Takes Yuki's hand in his Yuki...! Let's let today be the day we deepen our brotherly bond!
Yuki: I've got a better idea, how about I drown you in the lake.
Ayame: Anything you want, as long as it gives us some quality time together.
Yuki: On second thought, go drown yourself

Kagura: No! You don't know how a woman feels when she's in love!
Shigure: chuckles Oh, 'yes I do'... Well, maybe I don't have enough women to venture I guess...
Kagura: Huh?
Shigure: That's your cue to shout, "Shigure, you big perv!" Roll your eyes, and slap me, whatever...
Kagura: Ahh! Shigure! You big perv! chases him whilst pummeling him in the back

Momiji: Hey, Tohru! You already know about the zodiac, right?
Tohru: Mmm-hmm!
Momiji: Yay! That means I can hug you! runs to Tohru
Kyo: Wait a minute, loverboy! Do you even realize where you are! holding Momiji's head
Momiji: Kyo, you're just keeping Tohru all to yourself 'cause she's so cute! You probably hug her everyday!
Momiji: ME! hugs Tohru and transformes into a rabbit

Shigure: With Momiji, finds Tohru with Hatori So, Tohru, did you find out what zodiac animal Hatori is?
Hatori: In a grim tone Say one more word, Shigure, and the entire publishing industry will know of every embarrasing thing you did since you were four.
Shigure: Sorry, Tohru, my lips are sealed!

Shigure: At least this summer won't be a complete bust. I can still be happy watching the soap opera unfold.
Kyo: What are you talking about?
Shigure: Wouldn't it be nice if your friendship were to, say...deepen?
Kyo: Uh... still don't know what you're talking about.
Tohruenters after hearing commotion Wh-What's the matter?
Shigure: Tohru-kun, it's no use! Kyo-kun is wasted on you. Unlike me, he shows no promise whatsoever! You mustn't get near him!
Kyo: At least I get that I'm really being made fun of!

Ayame: (picking up barely-injured Yuki) You musn't die, Yuki! The setting sun we watched the day we pledged by the Seine together sparkles like gold in my heart even now!
Yuki: We never saw that! We never pledged! Stop making up past events and put me down!
Ayame: Be strong, Yuki!

Yuki: (while picking up Machi's things) Hey. Is this the maple leaf I gave you?
Machi: (wide eyes) No! Give it back! thinking I was so asleep I even packed that...
Yuki: Oh...maybe I have the wrong leaf.
Machi: You're wrong!
Yuki: Okay. Sorry. Of course it was a different leaf.
Machi: ...but you're not...technically wrong.
Yuki: Which is it, Machi?
Machi: I mean, there isn't any hidden meaning behind it. I just wasn't sure about throwing it away, so I made a bookmark. I made it myself. There's nothing beyond that...
Yuki: Thank you.
Machi: ...For what?
Yuki: (smiling) Well, you're taking good care of it! I'm glad.
Machi: (blushing, embarassed) I...I'M NOT TAKING CARE OF IT!
Yuki: HUH? made a bookmark.
Machi: Slamming it into books doesn't mean I'm taking care of it!
Yuki: But you're using it because you like it, right?
Machi: I don't like it! It's big and hard to use--in fact, you can have it back!
Yuki: Don't give it back!

Manabe: (arriving on the scene, and seeing Yuki and Machi arguing/fighting) Hunh. I kind of want to ask, but I also kinda don't. Do I risk it?
Yuki: Ask. Take the risk.
Manabe: Fine. What the hell!
Yuki: ...the short version here, is that Machi is being inflexible!
Manabe: The short version tells me jack...

Why does... my heart... hurt so much? Like it's being torn apart. Is it because my outrageous wish... is so disheartening? Is it because I know... that some wishes... don't come true? Even so... I wish. I wish...

Shut the hell up... You're really pissing me off. Quit acting like you're king of the mountain... you arrogant son of a bitch. Let me ask you this... If I wear a three-piece suit, does it mean I won't blackmail? If I won't pierce my ears, does it mean I won't break someone's heart? If my hair is black and shiny, does it mean I won't kill you! Who the hell do you think you are? You think you're God! Well! Do you! That's incredible! Say something, God! Make a sound!

It's just that I'm fighting the pain of lost love. I guess it's what you'd call a rude awakening... or, maybe... the weight of responsibility? But I'm fine. I'm fine. Caring for someone isn't based on logic. You can't really rationalize emotions. Once I think "I like him"... it's all over.

Strangely enough, when you get older, the things you didn't understand when you were a child... start to make sense. "When this happened, I should have done that." "When that happened, I should have said this." Those types of things. You start to understand rather than regret. It may be closer to repentance. So it may be that I do want to repent and erase the ignorant self from my childhood. Maybe that's what they mean when they say adults are selfish.

Gakuen Alice

"A molester is someone who does something because they have a sleazy intention. Who would want to have such an intention with someone as repulsive as you."

Other Miscellaneous Quotes That I Happen to be Befuddled as to How to Sort;

"People don’t read enough. And what reading we do is cursory, without absorbing the subtleties and nuances that lie deep within - Wow, you’ve stopped paying attention, haven’t you? People can’t even read a coffee cup without drifting off." -Starbucks

'For beauty is nothing
But the beginning of a horror that we can barely endure.
And we admire it so because it calmly disdains,
To destroy us.' -Rainer Maria Rilke

'You whom I cannot save. Listen to me.' -Czeslaw Milosz

'A word is dead
When it is said
Some say,
I say it just
Begins to live,
That day' -Emily Dickenson

Giving up smoking is easy...I've done it hundreds of times.-Mark Twain

How do you change the world?
One act of random kindness at a time

'If life is so fair, why do roses have thorns?' - Tickle me Emo. Go to YouTube

'YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE WITH ISSUES!' - The little kid in Tickle me Emo. Go to YouTube

'Who wills, can. Who tries, does. Who loves, lives. ' - Anne McCaffrey

A woman can forgive a man for the harm he does her...but she can never forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account.

'If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done' -Got this from a magnet!

'Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.'

'If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't, it never really was in the first place.'

'If you love something, set it free. if it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, hunt it down and kill it.'

'Dance as if no one is looking, work as if you didn't have to, and love as if you've never been hurt.'

'Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.'

'Life is like a grapefruit. It's sort of orangy-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It's got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.'

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.-Bill Cosby

You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.-Mark Twain

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?-Billy Connoly

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.-Mark Twain

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.-George Burns

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg -Abraham Lincoln Quotes

There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.-Benjamin Franklin

Experience is a dear teacher, and only fools will learn from no other.-Benjamin Franklin

The creed of the Inland Revenue is simple: "If we can bring one little smile to one little face today, then somebody's slipped up somewhere."-David Frost

He would make a lovely corpse.-Charles Dickens

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.-Ray Romano

My parents used to take me to Lewis' department store in Glasgow. They were skinflints, they used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was the zoo.-Billy Connolly

Buy land. They've stopped making it. -Mark Twain

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap on-a-rope.-Bill Cosby many pedestrians, so little time...-Robin Williams

"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
- Anonymous

"LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder... It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient."
- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

"I think, therefore I'm single."
- Female philosopher

"Man has his will, - but woman has her way."
- Oliver Wendell Holmes - US Writer

"It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn."
- Frank Muir

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle."
- Gloria Steinem

Life is just a chance to grow a soul. A. Powell Davies

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. -Anais Nin

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -Annie Dillard

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. -Elbert Hubbard

The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference. -
Elie Wiesel

Jane Rubietta: Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent. Anger is natural. Grief is appropriate. Healing is mandatory. Restoration is possible

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. ~Author Unknown

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches. ~Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once. ~Lillian Dickson

We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse. ~Author Unknown

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up. ~Author Unknown

Life... is like a box of chocolates - a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that no one ever asks for, unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So, you're stuck with mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there's nothing else to eat while you're watching the game. Sure, once is a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but it's gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. In the end, you are left with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth-shattering nuts, which, if you are desperate enough to eat, leaves nothing but an empty box of useless brown paper. ~The X-Files

Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. ~Grandma Moses

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. ~Robert Frost

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back. ~Charlie Brown

You live and learn. At any rate, you live. ~Douglas Adams

If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, where X is work, Y is play, and Z is keep your mouth shut. ~Albert Einstein

I gave my life to learning how to live.
Now that I have organized it all...
It is just about over.
~Sandra Hochman

One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him. ~Lemony Snicket

It's just life. Just live it. ~The Quote Garden

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious. ~Brendan Gill

Life is so much simpler when you tell the truth.

Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding the third.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

Life just gives you time & space; it's up to you to fill it.

Live by what you trust, not by what you fear.

Love has reasons that reason knows nothing of.

Love is the unity of two hearts beating together as one.

Love, like paint, can make things beautiful when you spread it, but it simply dries up when you don't use it.

Love sees no color.

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it!

Laughter is like changing a baby's nappy. It doesn't permanently solve any problems, but it makes thing more acceptable for awhile.

Laughter is the brush that sweeps away the cobwebs of the heart.

Lawyer (n): Larval stage of Politician.

Learn to listen, opportunity often knocks softly.

Let nature take its course and hope it passes.

Let us so live that when we die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards.

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends upon what you're made of.

Life is hard, no one makes it out alive.

Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know when you'll find a nut.

Life is like a ladder, the higher you climb, the more expansive your view is.

Life is like a mirror, if you frown at it, it frowns back; if you smile, it returns the greeting.

Life is like a movie. How good you do depends on your critics.

Luck is a loser's excuse for a winner's position!

"there is much I have learned
yet much I still seek to fathom
in some silent depths I feel mysteriously drawn to probe for lost essenic pearls of truth
which first appear, then disappear
in swirls of deep, green water
wisps of love...hazes of fear
sometimes distorted...sometimes clear
and always the question
what is this insistent pull on my mind?
what is it urging me to find?
is it simply a need to pursue, with Aries persistence
the reason for humanity's continued existence?
no, I fear it is something more...long lost on a forgotten shore
calling me on and explore...the ancient laws
of Karma" still, my love, be still..
somewhere a clock is timing us

"And dreams, don't ever forget, are the first step in manifesting wishes into reality"-- Linda Goodman's Star Signs

that's the way becoming a poet begins - having loopy thoughts
with no particular reason, or rule
never mind what they tried to teach in English class, at school

"Someone once said that thoughts are angels, and some thoughts are, like this one: You are alive now, and so obviously your current and true life urges are stronger than your programmed death urges. As long as you continue to strengthen your life urges, and ignore your programmed death urges, you'll go on living. Read this thought over and over until you completely comprehend what it's saying."

the misty Sunrise season of gentle pink-gold spring is here again
and I am lost and lonely
walking down a West End Avenue you have never walked along with me
where are you, this soft May twilight?

Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still. -- Lou Erickso

Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us. -- Thomas L. Holdcroft

We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give. -- Winston Churchill

Live as if your were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. -- Gandhiji

Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies. -- Ann Landers

Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life.-- Buddha

Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you plan to stop peddling.-- Claude Pepper

Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.-- Shari R. Barr

All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it.-- Samuel Butler

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. – Anonymous

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway. -- Steven Coallier

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed. -- Sid Caesar

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyways. -- Anonymous

Robbert Oustin- Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you're in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.

If it's green, it's biology, If it stinks, it's chemistry, If it has numbers it's math, If it doesn't work, it's technology - Unknown

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. - Laurie Kuslansky

Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the movie will give kids a mistaken impression. What about the fact that the dinosaurs are singing and dancing? - Jay Leno

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh- at yourself. - Ethel Barrymore

The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses in your cheeks and in your soul. - Linda Knight

Funny Stuff:

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and 12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.

Yesterday I was at the local Wal-Mart. Now I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out, there he was - a damn Motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket ...
So, I went to him and said: "Come on Buddy, how about giving a guy a break?"
He simply ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
So, I called him a pencil necked Nazi. He then glared at me and started writing another ticket for having
bald tires!
So, I called him a sorry excuse for a human being. He then finished the second ticket and put it on the car with the first. Then he started to write a third ticket!
This went on for about 25 minutes ... the more I abused and hurled insults at him, the more tickets he wrote ...
But hey, I didn't give a damn. My car was parked around the corner ...

Trial. A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial, a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both
counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!"

On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour."

1) During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
2) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
3) The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
4) When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
5) Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
6) Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment.
7) A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.
8) It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.
9) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
10)It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
11) Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
12) An electric fence powerful enough to kill a large dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
13) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
14) It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German you need not speak the language. A German accent will do.
16) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
17) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
18) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
19) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince in agony when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
20) If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade- at any time of the year.
21) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.
22) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
23) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
24) Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning, even though the husband and children never have time to eat them.
25) Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
26) If a killer is lurking in your house, it's easy to find him. Just relax and run a bath - even if it's the middle of the afternoon.
27) Wearing a singlet or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.
28) Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
29) All single women have a cat.
30) Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
31) One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
32) Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper cutting - especially if any of their family or friends has died in a strange boating accident.
33) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
34) Dogs always know who's bad and will naturally bark at them
35) When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
36) Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.
37) Whenever a natural or man-made disaster is about to occur, the hero escapes (alive) nano second before its too late and is catupulted into the air by the force- but is never harmed
38) No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
39) If there is a deranged killer on the loose, this will coincide with a thunderstorm that has brought down all the power and phone lines in the vicinity.
40) You can always find a chainsaw whenever you're likely to need one.
41) All Americans have phones which can reach throughout the house-even if it has a cord. If its cordless- you can pick up perfect reception all around the house...unless there is a insane killer about
42) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.
43) Guns are like disposable razors - if you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. You can always buy a new one.
44) Make-up can safely be worn to bed without smudging.
45) Building ventilation ducts are always clean.
46) Film stars are always super-human- they never need to use the bathroom
47) Any computer, anywhere, even in the jungle, can hack into the most secure goverment system.
48) Any aliens from outer space that you meet will speak your language.
49) No matter how many times you punch someone they will always come back for more - and their wounds have healed dramtically the next day
50) All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
51) All handcuffs can easily be opened with nothing more than a paper clip.
52) Grocery shopping bags are made out of brown paper and there is always enough shopping to fill two bags exactly.
53) If you need to open a locked door make sure you have a credit card handy, that will do. Unless its the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
54) If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
55) If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.
56) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
57) No-one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
58) When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
59) Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.
60) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
61) Should you decide to defuse a bomb don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.
62) Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
63) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
64) Even if you've been set up for murder, been framed and you have the whole world wide police force hunting you down, you will automatically live happliy ever after as long as you break away from the police and kill the bad guy.
65) If you desire to send any car into flame for any given reason, just shoot it three times, even though in real life you could stand right infront of a vechile and shoot the gun into the gas tank, it wouldn't ignite the fuel, only 1 or 2 bullets in the world can cause a spark, and it seems every police man in movies who blow up vehicles have those bullets!
66) Any woman who has just witnessed her father ,(brother, husband, family member ect.) killed right there in front of her, will never be traumatized , mourn, or be effected in anyway to resist making love to the hero who saved her!
68) Why when the hero of the movie gets the girl at the end , it seems like they will live happily ever after, yet doesn't even mention her name or remember her in sequels!
69)You never need to look up the phone number for the pizza delivery service and the delivery guy is always psychic -you never need to tell him where you live or what you want on your pizza.
70) After witnessing a horrible crime being committed- don't call the cops, instead conduct your own Private Eye investigation.
71) If a lifetime of watching movies has taught me anything at all, it's to MAKE SURE that a captured secret agent is dead BEFORE you walk away from your miscellaneous torture device.
72) That, and to always look behind you when you hear menacing violin music begin to play.
73) In school, teachers will always be interrupted mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
74) Rather than wasting bullets, Megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
75) Never disarm a bomb unless it has one second left on the timer. The same goes for escaping from areas with a timed locking mechanism.
76) Always trust the most annoying person you can find because he/she will always survive.
77) If you are being chased by zombies run as fast as you can, even though they can barely walk they will still catch up with you.
78) Secret agents cannot drown because they have special lungs that allow them to breathe forever.
79) If someone you love dies then start mourning and crying, doing so will mean that they will then magically appear in front of you!
80) If someone or something is about to kill you and you have a gun then you are screwed because even if you have a loaded gun, the bullets will mysteriously disappear once you start shooting.
81) If you are in a vehicle and you have a vision of a huge accident and then get out of it then beware, because afterwards, any random object could kill you in any random way.
82) If your wife is having an affair, never kill the person she is having it with, you may have to eat him the next day.
83) No matter what your mission is you will be given the lastest gadget (or have it installed in your car), which will be the exact thing you need to complete your mission (and it will always work). Also no matter how much experince and trainning someone has shoting, they will always miss the hero.
84) No matter how fast someone runs through the woods, the killer will be able to walk and manage to get just in front of the person as they fall or turn around.
85) All of the killers victims will fall out of trees and become visible only when the last person alive is running for their lives.
86) Being a camp counselor at a summer camp is as good as a death sentence
87) All zombies roaming the streets have only been bit once or twice, yet when a zombie gets someone on screen they always tear them to pieces
88) You always forget to check the back seat of your car when a killer is after you.
89) No matter what disaster you just went through, you will still have every item of clothing still on your body. Only now it's slightly ripped, damp, dirty or scorched.
90) A 18 wheeler will always lose control when you are stalled in the middle of the road.
91) Most any automobile will get stuck on the tracks when the train is yards away.

What not to say to the nice policeman:
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Animals may be our friends. But they won’t pick you up at the airport. (Bobcat Goldthwait)

I was born a suspect. I can walk down any street in America and women will clutch their purses tighter, hold onto their Mace, and lock their car doors. If I look up into the windows of the apartments I pass I can see old ladies on the phone. They’ve already dialed 9-1- and are just waiting for me to do something wrong. (Chris Rock)

Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they’d say "Thank you." That graduated into "Have a nice day." That’s now escalated into "You tare care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check – the waiter said, "Don’t put off that mammogram." (Rita Rudner)

One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.
Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."
"Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 5000 hours of community service?"

A little girl was playing in the garden when she spied two spiders mating.
"Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
"They're mating," her father replied.
"What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?" she asked.
"That's a daddy long
legs," her father answered.
"So, the other one is a mommy long legs?" the little girl asked.
"No," her father replied. "Both of them are daddy long legs."
The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.
"Well, we're not having any of THAT in our garden."

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN! . When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

You know you are addicted to coffee if ...
1. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2. You sleep with your eyes open.
3. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
4. You don't sweat, you percolate.
5. You chew on other people's fingernails.
6. You take your morning coffee with you in the shower.
7. You lick your coffee pot clean.
8. You don't tan, you roast.
9. You introduce your spouse as your coffee mate.
10. You don't get mad, you get steamed.


You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Sticks off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason.

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

(Copy and paste in your profile if you fit in one or more!)

I owe these to hanjuulover (You're right... It's MASSIVE)

20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1)at lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
2)Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
3)every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In"
5) put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6)in the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors" (yes, my MOM sent this to me! god I love that woman!)
7) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
8) dont use any punctuation
9) as often as possible, skip rather than walk
10) Ask people what sex they are. laugh hysterically after they answer.
11) specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
12) sing along at the opera
13) go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme
14) put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day
15) five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.
16) Have you co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
18) when leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!"
19) tell your children over dinner, "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20) send this e-mail to someone to make them smile. it's called therapy.”

4 penguins perish in truck accident; octopus uninjured (that is an honest to god real quote. I found it for a news article. Don’t believe me? Follow the link. www (dot) msnbc (dot) msn (dot) com/id/14254314/?GT1=8404

Random tombstone: "I TOLD you I was sick!"

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying. - - Joseph Heller

Remember when American moms used to tell their kids to finish dinner because children were starving in Africa? Well, thanks a lot, Mom—Africans are still starving and American kids are obese. - - Larry Baum

The devil came to me last night and asked what I wanted in exchange for my soul. I still can't believe I said pizza. Friggin' cravings. - - Marc Ostroff

-"Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run - He hates that."

-Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', it comes out to be 'Woman hitler'?

-Just what was the "Baby On Board" sign for? Did it help us decide which car not to hit in case of an accident?

-Why is it that when something says "Do not eat" on the package, it makes it extra tempting to eat?

-If you were under house arrest, and you lived in a mobile home, wouldn't you be able to go any where you want?

-Why do they put the names of football teams on baseball caps?

-Save a tree, eat a beaver.

-Guns don't kill people. Bullets kill people.

-How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.

-A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work,

-If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

-Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

You! Off my planet!

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally. - - W.C. Fields

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me in kickboxing. - - Emo Philips

-If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

-One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If the #2 pencil is most popular, why is it still #2?

-“Everything has a purpose” he said for no reason at all.

-I’m not paranoid, but everyone thinks I am.

-Those that ignore history are doomed to repeat it; those who studied history are doomed to know its repeating.

-Despite the rising costs of living, it remains a popular activity.

-like Daddy always said: If you can’t dazzle ‘em with brilliance, baffle ‘em with nonsense.

Ways To Annoy Your Professors ~Bring a small cactus to class with you. Raise your hand, and when you're called on, say that the cactus has a question. Turn and look at the cactus, as if you're waiting for it to say something.
After a few moments, shrug, and wait for your professor to move on. Do this once a day, and become increasingly irritated with the cactus every time, sighing heavily and giving it evil looks when it fails to "speak." When you leave the room after class, start yelling at the cactus, "I can't believe you embarrassed me AGAIN..."

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.


NOTE! Several of the next quotes are not mine! They belong to (Well, were found in one of her fics) Lotus Aia!

“God’s busy, how may I help you?”—Lotus Aia

“Bad spellers of the world UNTIE!”-- Lotus Aia

"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I'm going to blame you."-- Lotus Aia

“Comfort the disturbed, disturb the comfortable.”-- Lotus Aia

"Why don't you slip into something nice, like unconsciousness?"-- Lotus Aia

These were found in the Contestshipping fic in Serebii Forums "Contest Ties"

" 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it."

Focus -Takeru's image song-

Before I know it, I'm watching you
Still standing diagonally behind you
Am I the focus of your heart?

We've been together since we were small
Running and falling, we were always laughing

I'm not grown up yet, but now I can
Run farther than I used to

It would be better if I'd never noticed, but
I can't get you off my mind

You used to cry all the time
Now you're standing in the light
All I want to know is
Who is the focus of your heart?

No matter how much I stretched, I couldn't reach
But now I can open that door

The truth is I have a lot of things I want to tell you, but
It won't come out right

We were always protected
But now the one I want to protect is...

Before I know it, I'm watching you
Still standing diagonally behind you
Am I the focus of your heart? Or...
I can't ask

You used to cry all the time
Now you're standing in the light
All I want to know is
Who is the focus of your heart?

Copy and Paste Stuff

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

55 percent of people yawn after seeing someone yawn, in fact, reading about yawning will make some people yawn. If, after or while reading this, you yawned, copy and paste this in your profile,

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you are insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off! (I'm not an American)

98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a down escalator copy this into your profile

If you like sitting on top of things because your vertically challenged copy and paste this into your profile!

If you know a video game charecter or video game weapon that need(s) to exsist, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. Ghetto Anime Princess, AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix, Bust_A_Groover, Takahane, Fire Thief, Sarah303, Coco Gash Niccals,cheerleader101,Sangorulz, Twilight's Truth

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you have ever laughed maniacally, choked and/or gagged from lack of oxygen, and then fainted dramatically, copy and paste this onto onto your profile

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile:D

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people PLEASE copy this in your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile. (I'm not sure, but I clearly remember my glasses got knocked off.)

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you hear voices in your head and know that they are real put this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped your self on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile.

If you have ever want to scream to the world that you hate/like someone copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' COULD, copy this into your profile (Almost, but I want to!)

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you have answered a question by saying "Penguins" when penguins had NOTHING to do with what you were talking about, copy this into you're profile.

If you think that Mickey Mouse and his friends seriously went to a bar, copy this to your profile.

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!

If you think that I'm making you think too much, copy this to your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you have sibling(s) that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you belive that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have broke out in tears for no reason, and then laughed while still crying copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been flamed, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

I solemly swear that anyone who flames my stories will get a flame back. FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE! BEAT OUT THE FLAMES! If you agree (or hate flamers), copy this into your profile.

If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile.

If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile! Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal eletrocute the poor animals. And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! Now copy this into your freakin' profile, dammit!

If you are a Nejiten fan then copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a Sasusaku fan then copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you have siblings that drive you crazy copy and paste this into your profile

If you love Naruto so much you wish the characters were real or you were one of them copy and paste this into your profile

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I'd rather be random and unpopular than unrandom and popular any day!)

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a mad fasanation with the Japanese culture, copy and past this into your profile.

If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

98 percent of the internet population has a myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world copy and paste this into your profile

Recent studies showed that 92 precent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. Drew from pokemon and May may not be included. if you don't get it copy and paste this to your profile. (I get it, HAH!)

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!!

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.

(o.o) Help pokemon rule the world! Copy this on your profile!

-('o'-) -('o'-) -('o'-) -('o'-)

Copy and paste this into your profile to make the Congo line LONG! Make sure to add another person at the end of the Congo line when you put this into your profile! IT'S TIME TO PARTY!

You stare because im different...( 0.0) ('.'= ) ('.'= ) ('.'= )I stare because you're all the same.

.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨)¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~ pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

If you have every been in a website that is rated T when your only ten copy and paste this to your profile.

If you know someone who is four and watches movies rated PG-13 copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is longer than the chapters of most of your stories copy and paste this to your profile.

I went to a birthday party, And remembered what you said. You told me not to drink at all, So I had a Sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself, The way you said I would, That I didn't choose to drink and drive, Though some friends said I should.
I knew I made a healthy choice and, Your advice to me was right, As the party finally ended, And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my own car, Sure to get home in one piece, Never knowing what was coming, Something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement, And I hear the policeman say, "The kid that caused this wreck was drunk." His voice seems far away.
My own blood is all around me, As I try hard not to cry. I can hear the paramedic say, "This girl is going to die."
I'm sure the guy had no idea, While he was flying high, Because he chose to drink and drive, That I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Knowing that it ruins lives? But now the pain is cutting me, Like a hundred stabbing knives
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom, Tell daddy to be brave, And when I go to heaven, Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him, That it's wrong to drink and drive. Maybe if his mom and dad had, I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, I'm getting really scared. These are my final moments, And I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom, As I lie here and die. I wish that I could say, I love you and good-bye.
DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! If you too are against drunk driving, add this to your profile and add your name to the bottom -- .

~NoOnesGal1848, Sakura-Cherry-Blossom-Chan, Honatetsu Kiyasha, Lycoris Calantha~

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care at all, paste this in your profile:

My name is May, I am but three, My eyes are swollen, I cannot see,
I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made, My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy, Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong. Or else I'm locked up, All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone, The house is dark. My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just. One whipping tonight, Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car, My daddy is back. From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse
My name he calls, I press myself, Against the wall. I try and hide
From his evil eyes, I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault. That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more, I finally get free, And I run for the door. He's already locked it
And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me, Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late. His face has been twisted, Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain
Again and again, Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops
And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor. My name is May
And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.
Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years.No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


Are you tired of those asinine "friendship" poems with decent intentions, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here's a collection of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

random things that seem to have some connection to our world

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "damn that was fun".

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging!

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

My mind works like brilliant flash and it's gone.

I love Deadlines! i like the whoosh noise they make as they go by.

Curiosity killed the cat, and satisfaction brought it back.

In a dog-eat-dog world the best thing to do is become a cat.

If the good die young then the bad die old; thus leaving us with only politicans left.

Goldfish have the memory span of 3 seconds, sometimes i have to wonder if i'm a goldfish.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history A real friend could blackmail you with it!

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.

When life gives you lemons ... squirt the juice in your enemy's eyes!


My Ramblings:

Is Sora a girl's name or a guy's name? And what about Kira? And Riku?

Oh, and when DiZ said 'Namine's contact with Roxas put his heart in contact with Kairi's, and that, in turn, affected Sora.' I thoght Nobodies didn't HAVE hearts!

And though my name is related to justice, why is it so OVERUSED?And 'I'll protect you.' arghh!

Erm... are May and Wynaut related? Seriously...

What is Axel's true name? Ael, Lea, Ale, Ela... Well, maybe if his name already had an X like... Alex?

Erm... yeah...

Hi! I am now more officially scarred than ever. Temari, Ueki, Nicol, Ken Ichijouji, Edward, Natsume, and Tao Ren have the same voices... -twitch-

On AsuCaga, did you SEE the Wikipedia article? 'It is also confirmed by Fukuda that Athrun and Cagalli are no longer in romantic relationship but rather in friendship'

And the disturbing resemblance between Tokiya and Keele... It's scary.

I wanna try the chocolate chip cookie with bacon bits, yeah? Who doesn't!

Right. Now. A comparison between Chrno and Edward. Chrno is cooler. And more awesome. AND he's less cheesy and he's been around longer. So Edward has no excuse. But they both have no intention to live longer than the ones they love and their life spans are ridiculously long. (But Chrno's still better. Devils beat vampires! Oh, yes. I dare.)

Oh, by the way, has anyone tried thinking of Micchi and Kirika? 'Cause my friend and I were pairing people up and then we started the discussion of who should end up with Micchi since we kind felt bad for him. At first we were thinking Himeka, but then we realized how much more apparent sense it was that Himeka ended up with Jin because Himeka and Micchi were both too nice and passive. Then while we were thinking about who Micchi should end up with, it was like poof, we remembered Kirika because we were thinking about how sad it was for her. And that's the story!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Y o H o by T a C o C a T reviews
When the pirates whisked her away, Lieutenant Uchiha Sasuke charged valiantly after his fiancee only to find himself defeated by and prisoner to Haruno Sakura. Now he must choose: Submit, obey, and join or W a l k T h e P l a n k. SASuSAKu NARuHiNA Au
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 54,882 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 245 - Updated: 4/29/2016 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
C rossfir E by T a C o C a T reviews
Sakura was certain that her mysterious, attractive next-door neighbor was a serial killer, insane, or the toothfairy. Little did she know, Sasuke's story was much more complex and dramatic, and she was about to get thrown into the middle of it. SASUSAKU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 28,032 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 295 - Updated: 4/16/2016 - Published: 7/14/2008 - [Sakura H., Sasuke U.]
My Scarlet Letters by earthlyXangel reviews
Yuuki Cross is trapped in the Kuran manor, alone and longing for something she can't reach. With an offer from her 'sensei', Hanabusa Aidou, she is able to create a link with the outside world via letters. Based on Chap. 50. Zeki/Aidori.
Vampire Knight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 42 - Words: 124,600 - Reviews: 471 - Favs: 235 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 2/21/2016 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Hanabusa A., Sayori W., Yuki C., Zero K. - Complete
Kunoichi in the City by Istoria reviews
Female only teams would improve the selfesteem of all involved, right? Well, that's what Sakura thought at least. But when she finds herself in charge of one, she learns that her esteem isn't in trouble, it's her sanity. Alternate Reality
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 53,234 - Reviews: 456 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 431 - Updated: 9/20/2015 - Published: 1/21/2006 - Sakura H., Ino Y., Hinata H., Tenten
Team 8 by S'TarKan reviews
What if Naruto had been selected for a different team? What if he'd had a different mentor? Who would guess the consequences would be so large?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 276,868 - Reviews: 14855 - Favs: 20,787 - Follows: 18,218 - Updated: 4/23/2015 - Published: 1/1/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
The Princess' Sonata by Miriae reviews
[COMPLETE: Epilogue now up!] AU. AxC. Athrun Zala, Chairman of PLANTs, needs a new secretary. And he gets one. The only problem is that she's a Natural and the Princess of Orb by the name of Cagalli.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 147,135 - Reviews: 2249 - Favs: 752 - Follows: 556 - Updated: 5/26/2014 - Published: 1/28/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
You Can't Take the Sky from Me by EverythingIsMagic reviews
Ace pilot America is on a mission for the World Military when a chance encounter with a group of sky-pirates leads him to team up with their captain, England, against a malevolent group that wants to fill the sky with zeppelins. USxUK- Steampunk AU
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 113,083 - Reviews: 1655 - Favs: 2,270 - Follows: 2,002 - Updated: 8/18/2013 - Published: 3/2/2009 - America, England/Britain
Looking Through Lavender Eyes by LavenderWallflower reviews
Naruto broke Hinata's heart. She leaves 3yrs later she's back, blind. Everyone's hiding a secret from her, Naruto's hiding a secret from them. Sakon wants Hinata and his boss wants Naruto dead. Will the secrets be revealed? Will Naruto be killed? NaruHina
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 350,404 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 9/13/2012 - Published: 12/20/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Not This Time by Deckerstar4ever reviews
Saber has successfully destroyed the Holy Grail and parted with her Master. But it did not stop her from being summoned again. When the Heroes Dimension has been altered by the war's aftermath, Saber found herself in the most unexpected position.
Fate/stay night - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,442 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/26/2012 - Published: 12/3/2006 - Saber, Shirō E.
Folie à Plusiers by CaCoPhOnY Of ScReAmS reviews
It started with one. Patient zero, retrieved from Washington DC, America. Alfred F.Jones was admitted by his college roommate at 13:08 on June 16th. Diagnosis: Delusional.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 89,454 - Reviews: 1577 - Favs: 1,561 - Follows: 1,572 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 10/20/2009 - America
Prove the Point by whispered touches reviews
Korra likes to give Mako nicknames - partly because he makes it so easy, and partly because she thinks it's hilarious that he always proves her point. A one-shot series. Five: Slowpoke.
Legend of Korra - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,609 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 5/20/2012 - Published: 5/1/2012 - Korra, Mako - Complete
The Burning of Angels by wildcatt reviews
Absolution, and ways to live without. Kunoichi-centric.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,472 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 11/28/2011 - Published: 4/21/2007
Steadier Footing by Konstantya reviews
1989, and the borders open. AustriaxHungary. -Edelweiss Arc.-
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,903 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/26/2011 - Austria, Hungary - Complete
Engagement On Hold by pei-chan reviews
AU Uchiha Sasuke is Konoha High's reigning prince. Haruno Sakura is...? Who is she again? What happens when the guy everybody knows finds himself engaged to a girl nobody knows?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 285,621 - Reviews: 2348 - Favs: 1,427 - Follows: 1,227 - Updated: 9/16/2011 - Published: 3/16/2006 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Color Theory by BlueGreenApples reviews
Canon. SasuSaku. Red was the color of passion, womanhood. Pink was the shade of little girls and delicate things. Next to Karin, Sakura felt like a washed-out imitation.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 95,052 - Reviews: 2939 - Favs: 3,282 - Follows: 2,713 - Updated: 7/22/2011 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
What Makes A Man by Anne Packrat reviews
When investigating a series of alchemy-related murders, Roy and Hawkeye's genders get switched. Now they have to deal with their new bodies and race to undercover the mastermind before more innocent people are killed. Gender-switch Het Royai Roy/Riza
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 16,888 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/4/2011 - Published: 4/21/2011 - Roy M., Riza H. - Complete
Twice Shy :: Story Two by J R LeDoux reviews
Sequel to "Two Halves" by DameWren: Naruto and Hinata return to Konoha, wiser, older and stronger. But as they look to find the life they left behind, they discover that the more things change, the more they stay the same. What adventures await them?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 77,028 - Reviews: 1029 - Favs: 1,115 - Follows: 1,184 - Updated: 4/20/2011 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
A Change in the Weather by calliope-love reviews
According to the new PH novel, the Rainsworth family has a special trick to help treat a cold. Set in the early days at Rainsworth.
Pandora Hearts - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,364 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 24 - Published: 3/29/2011 - Shelly R. - Complete
You Know You Trust Your Partner by Poisoned Scarlet reviews
...when you ask him to go to the local pharmacy to buy you pads. Yes, THOSE kind of pads. - A series of one-shots depicting Soul and Maka's trust in one another
Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 47,703 - Reviews: 998 - Favs: 1,772 - Follows: 661 - Updated: 3/22/2011 - Published: 1/16/2011 - Maka A., Soul Eater - Complete
Mood Indigo by Konstantya reviews
Anschluss, anti-Semitism, and impending war. Sometimes classical music just doesn't cut it. -Edelweiss Arc.-
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,909 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/9/2011 - Austria, Prussia, Germany - Complete
Twenty Truths Before And a Little After Marriage by Woodrokiro reviews
She thinks marriage is really just a load of bull, and he believes it's rather political. Soul/Maka, rated T for language. Manga spoilers from the Operation Baba Yaga Castle arc.
Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,371 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 17 - Published: 2/20/2011 - Maka A., Soul Eater - Complete
The Gate Amidst the Ivy by Insane Romantic reviews
All Sakura had wanted to do was bring that sad little garden back to life. She never counted on igniting the curiosity of the infamous Prince Sasuke himself...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 76,453 - Reviews: 1434 - Favs: 1,032 - Follows: 1,084 - Updated: 2/20/2011 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Got a Problem? by Marsh of Sleep reviews
AU. Maka's just trying to get by, but everything keeps pointing her in the same freakin' direction: Towards a weird-looking OLD GUY! Valentine's Day fic, sort of. SoMa, two-parter, Crack. Rated for language, mostly.
Soul Eater - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,840 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 423 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Soul Eater, Maka A. - Complete
Orchid Among the Lilies by LadyWordsmith reviews
Post-Manga events: Being Emperor of Xing is a lonely, challenging job. Being his Guard Captain no easier. But how will politics in Xing fall out when Ling Yao must choose amongst the ladies of his Empire presented from the Clans for his wives?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,549 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 11 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Ling Y., Lan Fan - Complete
A Show of Gratitude by calliope-love reviews
Poking good-natured fun at the Jack/Reim prompt on the kink meme - I couldn't resist. Silly crack story. Liam-centric, though Xerxes appears in the omake. Post-56.
Pandora Hearts - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,835 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/4/2011 - Reim L., Xerxes B. - Complete
Asfalttiin, Impervious by Tamer Lorika reviews
Finland knows Sweden as his protector, invincible. No one can hurt her, not even his own fear. Soon, he finds he is completely wrong. FinxFEM!Su. For Verboten Byacolate.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,724 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 12/29/2010 - Published: 8/10/2010 - Sweden, Finland
Proper Nomenclature by Tamer Lorika reviews
Historical? Sweden wants to make this Christmas with Finland a good one - but Finland's only question is "They followed me home; can I keep them?".
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,169 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Finland, Sweden - Complete
Rondo Alla Turca by Verboten Byacolate reviews
Austria/Hungary AU. He is old enough to know what appeals to him, and this girl is like shiny new piano keys; his heart and mind are racing to the rhythm of Rondo Alla Turca.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,063 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Austria, Hungary - Complete
Coincidence or Destiny? by Arisa Aihara reviews
Optimistic new girl in town Hikari Yagami was trying her best to adjust to her new environment, especially at school. However, things were made difficult by a cold, unfriendly classmate of hers. Exactly what was his problem?
Digimon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 71,441 - Reviews: 892 - Favs: 274 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 10/3/2010 - Published: 10/22/2006 - Hikari Y./Kari K., Takeru T./TK - Complete
So Very Stupid by Prelude in Indigo reviews
It turns out that Elliot is bad at romance, Oz lacks the older-brother-protectiveness gene, Gilbert HAS it, Sharon and Leo are trashy-romance-novel addicts, and Xerxes Break appears out of thin air. Oh, and Ada Vessalius is stupid. Very, very, stupid.
Pandora Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,813 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/3/2010 - Published: 8/16/2010 - Elliot N., Ada V. - Complete
Retreating Haze by Ori reviews
He would marry her, but in turn, in some sort of twisted secret compromise, something like self punishment, he would abandon his original intentions. He would not use her, he would not even touch her.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,088 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 390 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 12/9/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Beyond Hearts and Minds by XyoushaX reviews
naruxhina, maybe sasuxsaku Demons of yore spring up for unknown reasons. And the Priestess to take care of it... is Hyuuga Hinata.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 49 - Words: 335,340 - Reviews: 987 - Favs: 442 - Follows: 328 - Updated: 9/2/2010 - Published: 12/12/2004 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Sakura H., Hinata H.
Standards by ReverseNostalgia reviews
Ed stared down Winry's date for the night with an appraising look. At last, he cocked an eyebrow and stuck one automail finger in the smug teen's face. "Alright, you lucky bastard. You've met her standards. The question is...can you meet mine?" EdWin!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,203 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 1,816 - Follows: 202 - Published: 8/8/2010 - [Edward E., Winry R.] - Complete
Issues by Xmarksthespot reviews
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 66,102 - Reviews: 529 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 225 - Updated: 8/1/2010 - Published: 10/8/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Wedding Belle A Dress For Any Case by CatBru reviews
Long awaited sequel okay, not really about a bridesmaid dress that eats people. Well, in Hattori's mind, at least. There's sorta-girl-crushes, cross-dressing, heels of doom, and an American stalker because, lets face it, we Americans are kinda crazy
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,266 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/31/2010 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Heiji H., Kazuha T.
Things you do for love by lacus-destiny reviews
CURRENTLY ON HOLD: Please see my profile for details - lacus-destiny [Amidst, the action of sports and competition, love sparks. However, where there is love, there is hatred. How can Lacus, Kira, Athrun and Cagalli protect and fight for their relationships against those who plan to ruin it? updated, chapter 14!]
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 39,615 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/19/2010 - Published: 10/4/2004 - Kira Y., Lacus C.
Gospel of Deception by thereisafire reviews
Izaya learns how to lie so well that it's almost the truth, how to pretend to be a girl online, and how to deal with Shizuo. A story about Izaya's misspent youth, and how he became what he is.
Durarara!!/デュラララ!! - Rated: T - English - Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,040 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 30 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Izaya O., Shizuo H. - Complete
Support Beams by a firebug reviews
They fit well together, this strange and otherworldly pair who walk the streets of Ikebukuro with a quiet confidence, laughing at their own misfortunes. Shizuo and Celty's friendship in one hundred sentences.
Durarara!!/デュラララ!! - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,692 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Shizuo H., Celty S. - Complete
At the Edge of Forever by numina reviews
Fifty sentences, fifty insights into the life and times - and afterwards, even, - of the Hero of Sablier: the illustrious Jack Vessalius. Spoilers for Pandora Hearts.
Pandora Hearts - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,219 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Published: 5/16/2010 - Jack V. - Complete
TCOT Dubious Bridegroom, Extended by Captain Weirdo reviews
Summary? There's supposed to be a summary? I never know what to say! This is a story about Perry Mason and Della Street. They do stuff. Together. Except, not always. Just go read it! And leave a comment.
Perry Mason - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,398 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/27/2010 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Complete
Critical Condition by ShatteredLyre reviews
She averted her eyes. "207 won't let anyone tend to her...except for you." Yoh cocked his head in confusion. "Who's in 207?" The doctor looked down at the patient file. "Kyoyama. Anna Kyoyama."
Shaman King - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 71,587 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 4/25/2010 - Published: 12/1/2009 - Anna K., Yoh A.
Strangers by ShatteredLyre reviews
He traces constellations aimlessly in the sky, in the air, on her arm and says it is fate. She just looks at him, shakes her head, and smirks and tells him it is merely coincidence. --For Lycoris Calantha--
Shaman King - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,414 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Published: 4/23/2010 - Yoh A., Anna K. - Complete
Isolation by Well Groomed Goldfish reviews
15 years. 15 years since democracy fell, since a tyrannical government isolated America and took the nation hostage. 15 years since Alfred was stolen, forced to turn his back on everything. For Arthur, that’s 15 years too long. Time to go rabbit hunting.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,710 - Reviews: 744 - Favs: 955 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 1/12/2010 - America, England/Britain - Complete
For These Ones by HM Grayson reviews
Helping Jacob and Leah get together was supposed to be the end of Embry’s involvement. He has his own life. Sort of. But being a pack means that the problems of one are the problems of all...and there seems to be a lot of problems. Blackwater, Embry's POV
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 85,094 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 4/10/2010 - Published: 10/31/2008 - Leah, Jacob - Complete
The Golden Age Has To Start Somewhere by Tamer Lorika reviews
When Lietuvos meets Polska for the first time, he hopes that they will become great friends. However, he doesn't count on the fact that they are in fact betrothed. And the little Polish "girl" is NOT HAPPY. Written for the PolLiet Secret Santa @ LJ
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,958 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Lithuania, Poland - Complete
This Pendent Heart by LunaSphere reviews
When the story ends, almost everyone in Goldcrown Town forgets that their lives had once been turned upside down by a story, that there had ever been a girl named Duck at all. When Duck herself begins to forget, Fakir writes a story that costs him dearly.
Princess Tutu - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 58,109 - Reviews: 358 - Favs: 588 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 4/4/2010 - Published: 3/23/2007 - Fakir, Ahiru - Complete
A Needle Pulling Thread by LadyTemeraire reviews
A startling revelation at the onset of WWII makes Germany question his views and shifts his perspective on what constitutes "humanity". Rated PG for angst!history.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,993 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Germany, Austria
Memory of Yesterday by eunc reviews
Wandering Gaea with twin cat girls, a young woman searches for the identity she lost after the Great Gaean War. While traveling, will this mysterious maiden realize her past and her relations to Escaflowne and its pilot Van Fanel?
Escaflowne - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 149,226 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 3/10/2010 - Published: 7/17/2002 - Hitomi K., Van F. - Complete
AWOL by Lisse reviews
When a Marine goes missing, his twin brother comes to NCIS looking for help. Then things get weird.
Crossover - NCIS & Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,636 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 1,005 - Follows: 127 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Canada - Complete
The Lindorm King's Bride by Mordreds Girl reviews
AU. Once upon a time in a land that no longer exists there was an elderly king and queen who long once more for a child. Claire/Chane
Baccano! - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,329 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/24/2010 - [Claire S., Chane L.] - Complete
The Caged by Sorcer-Cross reviews
After being kidnapped by a motorcycle gang Tenten feels that it can't get any worse until. She taken by another gang, but is this one as bad as the last? Ch.13 is up! TentenxNeji TemarixShikamaru SakuraxSasuke NarutoxHinata InoxKiba RxR
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 22,715 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 12/17/2009 - Published: 10/22/2007 - Tenten, Neji H.
King Arthur and the Knights of the United Nations by openedlocket reviews
England tells the nations of the legend of King Arthur when England's fairy friends suddenly transport them to Camelot. Now everyone has become part of the legend and it's up to England to get them back to the present.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 32,039 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 10/26/2009 - England/Britain - Complete
The Conspiracy by Miko-chan reviews
Four years ago, she was Uchiha Sakura, wife to the most powerful ruler of Nippon-koku. Under the secrets and lies, the wheels start to turn again when she receives a call from a man that she thought to be dead.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 86,212 - Reviews: 874 - Favs: 985 - Follows: 869 - Updated: 12/2/2009 - Published: 12/7/2007 - [Sasuke U., Sakura H.]
Who's That, Su san? by Domomomo reviews
In which Sweden brings home a nation that he bought off the internet.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 289 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/24/2009 - Finland, Sweden - Complete
Hieros Gamos by delectate reviews
postseries, A/R. Sequel to The Burning Time. Spiral of persuasion, twists until freefall.
Witch Hunter Robin - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,177 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 11/9/2009 - Published: 6/4/2007 - Amon, Robin S.
All Out Assassin Attack by Colormyworld reviews
Post-anime or first manga series. As more assassins appear, Loki's family situation becomes even more chaotic...Mayuloki. Includes Narfi, Sif, Sigyn & more! Updated October '09 but you may want to reread previous chapters before you read the update.
Matantei Loki Ragnarok - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 46,242 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 10/4/2009 - Published: 1/16/2007 - Mayura, Loki
Deja Blue by Kintora reviews
Namine is a new student at Twilight Town High School. Although shy and awkward at first, she's hell bent on fitting in. But it's not so easy when she keeps bumping into the resident ghost of the school, and finds herself falling in love too. RN, SK, AU. REVISING.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 69,525 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 9/15/2009 - Published: 9/2/2007 - Naminé, Roxas
Older than You by IndigoGrapefruit reviews
She was the youngest child to set foot on Gakuen Alice. Ever. Until he came along. He was a month and a day younger than her, and she would forever hold that fact over him. TsubasaMisaki if you squint.
Gakuen Alice - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,704 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/4/2009 - Misaki H., Tsubasa A. - Complete
Shall Never See So Much by Stoplight Delight reviews
In the military academies of Amestris, Cadets Mustang and Hawkeye are trained to command. They are groomed and prepared for firefights, hand-to-hand combat and even torture. But there's one thing their schools cannot prepare them for: the reality of war.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 32 - Words: 101,883 - Reviews: 631 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Roy M., Riza H.
Till Death Do Us Apart by Chintzy reviews
This story is dedicated to my friend, Chidori. Set in the ancient times where Train and Rin are bandits. On the othe hand, Eve and Jenos are royalties.The story is a bit long so plz bear with me. Please REVIEW.Main couple: TrainEve Minor couple: RinJeno
Black Cat - Rated: K - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 106,074 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 8/27/2009 - Published: 7/4/2006
Chance of Rain by Konstantya reviews
It was a complicated thing, their history. Pan-European Picnic, take one. AustriaxHungary. -NOTE: This was my first Hetalia fic, that I wrote before I had really settled into my head-canon, and as such, I have mixed feelings about it.-
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,971 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Austria, Hungary - Complete
Words For Thoughts by Konstantya reviews
Only Austria would still manage to use precise speech when drunk. AustriaxHungary.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,761 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/4/2009 - Hungary, Austria - Complete
Oh Eight Hundred by Puddlesama reviews
5 wake up calls, 4 years, 3 words, 2 people, 1 happy ending. AC. One-Shot.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,303 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 8 - Published: 7/29/2009 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
Letters From Hell by snekochan reviews
Sometimes, even those whose hearts harbour love, kindness and the desire to protect are given the harshest of treatments, earned or not. Luckily for Chrono, Rosette Christopher is ready to break down the walls of Heaven and Hell to get him back. RxC
Chrono Crusade - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,055 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 12/7/2007 - Rosette C., Chrono
Maybe Definitely by Akizushi reviews
Megumi is Yahiro's girlfriend: truth, lie, partially true, partially false... Really, or not really? Maybe... A YahiroMegumi fanfic definitely .
S.A - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,272 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Yahiro S., Megumi Y.
Impulse by Dragontune172 reviews
“Great, Takeru,” Yamato said. “In an attempt to win a girl, you’ve successfully managed to anger the heir of a yakuza boss. For my safety, I’ll have to disown you… I hope you don’t mind.” Takari -and others-. AU.
Digimon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 39,168 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Takeru T./TK, Hikari Y./Kari K.
Mild Drinkers for A Reason by Clover Phantom reviews
This is what happens when you let England drink alcohol strong enough to make America faint after three shots. A drunk Britannia Angel thinking he's suddenly a hero. Hang in there Philippines and America... R&R please
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 727 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/23/2009 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Aren't We? by IceFlake 77 reviews
We Filipinos are mild drinkers. We drink for only three good reasons. We drink when we are very happy. We drink when we are very sad. And we drink for any other reason."-'We Filipinos are Mild Drinkers' by Alejandro R. Roces. Warnings inside.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,216 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/15/2009 - America
Fatherhood by Miriae reviews
Definitely, Roy Mustang is a more pestering father than Maes Hughes. Royai:One-shot.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,189 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/12/2009 - Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
The Mythical Detective Mayura by Colormyworld reviews
AU. Mayuloki. He was a teenager looking for adventure, and she was a goddess running from Olympus to escape her evil uncle. Loki has just found his adventure in one Matantei Mayura Daidouji. Chapter XXI: Pre-epilogue chapter!
Matantei Loki Ragnarok - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 23,191 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 6/3/2009 - Published: 12/1/2007 - Loki, Mayura
Inevitable by Lily-Finn178 reviews
Chlerek/ Sooner or later, Chloe would choose Simon. Because Simon always got the girl. Always. Derek knew that. And he hadn't really cared before. Until now. Until Chloe.
Darkest Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,328 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 22 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Derek S., Chloe S. - Complete
The Root of Evil by incensedance reviews
Loki and co. are invited to a mansion in the middle of the mountains to look for a hidden fortune along with other detectives, including Mouri Kogoro! Crossover with Detective Conan and Magic Kaito.
Crossover - Detective Conan/Case Closed & Matantei Loki Ragnarok - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,688 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 5/16/2009 - Published: 8/16/2007 - M. Sera, Loki
WANTED: A PINK HAIRED WIFE by x.Kaze-chan reviews
Sakura gaped as she looked at the sign before doing a double take. Yup, she wasn't dreaming. There on the sign in front of the mansion, was stating that Uchiha Sasuke needed a wife. And it was her lucky day that she became the hired wife. AU //SasuSaku//
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 86,375 - Reviews: 1246 - Favs: 473 - Follows: 385 - Updated: 3/29/2009 - Published: 1/7/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Ruining the Kiss by Shinigami29 reviews
[multichapter] “You moron!” She didn’t slow down as she yelled over her shoulder. “Telling the guy I was on a date with that I had already had my first kiss? And with you no less!”
Digimon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,077 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 3/10/2009 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Jenrya L./Henry W., Ruki M./Rika N.
Those Weird Kids by FlikFreak reviews
One-Shot, post-KH2. "There's something weird about those three kids..."
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,354 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Complete
A Horseshoe Nail by Nixariel reviews
Asgard may be the home of the gods, but that doesn't make it heaven. A conversation between Loki and Urd about why he stayed. Anime-based, Loki/Mayura, rated T for mentioning Loki's past relationships.
Matantei Loki Ragnarok - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,409 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Loki, Urd - Complete
Paparazzi by flipstahhz reviews
They used to be best friends. But now she's a photographer for a wellknown magazine. While he's one of the best basketball players in Japan. Problems brew when the two cross paths. And what do they do? Fall for each other all over again ... takarified
Digimon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 66,454 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 1/21/2009 - Published: 10/20/2005 - Hikari Y./Kari K., Takeru T./TK - Complete
Rape of the Lock by Shang it reviews
It was her one vanity... a oneshot Beka Cooper story
Beka Cooper series - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,995 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Complete
Drunk Juggling by radiowaves'rtoxic reviews
When people are drunk they do crazy things. When John Brown is drunk he juggles and does something else... Oneshot, humor, John-centric. T for too much alcohol content
Ghost Hunt - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 982 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/23/2008 - John B. - Complete
Hokage no Isan by kyugan reviews
In a matter of weeks, Naruto gains a family, a clan, and above all else, a greater chance of achieving his goals in the form of...TEAM HOKAGE! NarutoFlame of Recca Crossover. NaruHina, among others.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 275,647 - Reviews: 934 - Favs: 455 - Follows: 338 - Updated: 11/12/2008 - Published: 2/24/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Of Mice, Men and Obstinate Arrows by jellinor reviews
Winia pines for Chris who sort of really objects to Leo who is head over heels in love with Pacifica who teases "Zefi" who ends up confiding in Eirote who can't seem to take her mind off of Dennis who totally misunderstands the hints made by Fafal who is overly-protective of Chris who doesn't know how to feel or what to do. And that is just the beginning.
Scrapped Princess - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,679 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/8/2008 - Published: 6/5/2008
Singular Solar Eclipse by HM Grayson reviews
Even if she's now his friend, Jacob will readily admit that Leah tends to make the simplest of things difficult. It's only natural she make fun of his imprinting. But if she doesn't stop it soon...he might actually start thinking she's got a point.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 34,702 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 10/14/2008 - Published: 9/24/2008 - Jacob, Leah - Complete
Wedding Belle by CatBru reviews
In a bridal store, Heiji seeks a way out, Conan seeks ways to amuse himself at the expense of Heiji , and the Cotton Candy Monstrosity Bridesmaid Dress of Doom seeks ways to eat Kazuha or so Heiji wishes – H&K Friendship Fluff on Crack
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,214 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/12/2008 - Heiji H., Kazuha T. - Complete
Solvent Reasons by CatBru reviews
Sometimes, it’s a little disturbing what you would do for your best friend. Or could possibly do. Oneshot, Heiji and Kazuha friendship
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,673 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Heiji H., Kazuha T. - Complete
How To Melt Ice by songwithoutreason reviews
These Konoha shinobi set out on a mission to retrieve something they believe they had lost. But they also each found something similar but unique to each of them... the ability to melt the ice in a person's heart... PAIRINGS REVIEWED
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,172 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/23/2008 - Published: 1/28/2007
Flipped by Annie Sparklecakes reviews
Who knew Naruto could be such an expert matchmaker, Kakashi could be so cunning and perceptive, and Sakura could ever get over the boy of her dreams? Not Sasuke, that's for sure. Team Seven will never be the same. SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 37,344 - Reviews: 1451 - Favs: 1,658 - Follows: 738 - Updated: 9/21/2008 - Published: 8/2/2006 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Moonlight Sernade by AGENT Kuma-chan reviews
Gift!fic for Sydney. Yuuki/Zero. Zero has magic in his fingers, Yuuki thinks, because whenever he touches the piano, he's able to bring a song from her lips. While not a lovestory, their's is a tale of soft touches and searching glances and close to love.
Vampire Knight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,173 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/6/2008 - Yuki C., Zero K. - Complete
get a life by the mockingjay reviews
AU. SasuSaku. I'm vaguely positive I just met my Soulmate. It's a pity he just called me fat. Sort of.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,581 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 288 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Missed the Understanding by Letishia reviews
It's Amestres’s first full year of democracy. Winry comes to Central and ends up trying to help Ed win over the "mysterious" girl he’s got a crush on. Ed becomes enveloped in work. A terrorist group threatens national security. EdWin AlMei Royai & More
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,510 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 8/3/2008 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Edward E., Winry R.
We That Are Young by Stoplight Delight reviews
It's a well-known fact that innocents make poor soldiers. Fortunately, Riza Hawkeye's childhood was not entirely innocent. She had to grow up fast... though she wasn't the only one. The early years of the Colonel and his First Lieutenant.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 80 - Words: 277,131 - Reviews: 1019 - Favs: 724 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 7/12/2008 - Published: 4/3/2008 - Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
Overused! by Heartbroken Confession reviews
I shall show you examples with my lovely assistant in his glittery red halter dress, Hyuuga Natsume! Oh, wait, Natsume? Come back here!" Examples of FF's most overused words in the strangest way you have ever seen.
Gakuen Alice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,678 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/3/2008 - Mikan S., Natsume H. - Complete
A Short Conversation by Zanthra Shard reviews
Early in "All the Weyr's of Pern". Aivas has a suspicion on the cause of Ruth's abnormalities and has a discussion with Jaxom to confirm it.
Dragonriders of Pern series - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 906 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/28/2008 - Complete
Oriori Kashaku by Gingeh reviews
“Hello, Ms. Hawkeye. May I be of some assistance to you?” She glared at him. “You know perfectly well what I’m here for, Mr. Mustang. And I KNOW you don't want to. I don't care." .Slight Royai, in honor of Royai Day.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,044 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/11/2008 - Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
Meeting the family of Mai Taniyama by xglittergigglesx reviews
Mai's new boyfriend meets her 'family': a perky yet demanding Madoka, a silent and intimidating Lin, a Yakuza Yasuhara, a over protective Bou-san, a flirty Ayako, a snooty Masako, a helpful but un-optimistic John and a Pure evil Naru. NaruxMai hints.
Ghost Hunt - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,850 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/10/2008 - Published: 5/21/2008 - Complete
The Way They Love by periodic-prose reviews
Athrun and Cagalli, after following the advice of Lacus, end up in a couple's counseling therapy session for a "check-up". Shall we see if they're "healthy"? AsuCaga.
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,572 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not by Chuugoku-chan reviews
Sakura sits on the steps every afternoon, faithfully plucking a single daffodil out of the soil and chanting, "He loves me, he loves me not." But really, is the flower myth true or not? R&R! rewritten as part of spring cleaning for easier reading
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,799 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Some Misunderstanding by MintiNeko reviews
It made sense, that the one girl that caught his attention would try to kill him. MinaKushi, minor FugaMiko
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,125 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 19 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Minato N., Kushina U. - Complete
The Prince, and his slave by Sirona of Arabia reviews
[Redone][SasuSaku]Sakura Haruno was forced to become a slave after her village was destroyed by the Uchiha army. So she would be more than willing to permently wipe the smirk off Sasuke's face, the heartless Uchiha prince, the bastard, and her new owner.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,769 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 4/5/2008 - Published: 11/18/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Epic Fail! by Teh Pocky Ninja reviews
Ahem, good evening ladies. Prepare to be passed out your papers for the written examination to choose the wife of Uchiha Sasuke. This test was personally created by him, so do your best and answer in complete sentences with a number two pencil. Good luck!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,379 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 466 - Follows: 48 - Published: 4/3/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
He Came Back For Me! by JiffyFrose reviews
Jimmy Kudo has come back...for good! Will Rachel accept the fact that he's really Conan, find out!
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,721 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/24/2008 - Published: 1/6/2006 - Ran M., Shinichi K./Conan E. - Complete
Two Halves :: Story One by J R LeDoux reviews
Repost By DameWren : What would it be like if, instead of Jiraiya, Naruto went on a training trip with some one else? What if Hinata went with him? What would happen? The answer: life. See Preface for more info; Reposted in preperation for sequel
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 170,237 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 1,088 - Follows: 354 - Updated: 3/2/2008 - Published: 2/12/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Bonds by Guardian Kysra reviews
Ayla, Eury, and the bonds that continue to haunt them in life after Methuselah. Prequel to Carpe Diem. Ayla Eury, second person from Ayla's pov. Part III of the Adrift Series.
Immortal Rain - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,319 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/24/2008
Our World by Kring reviews
After the Twilight Incident, Kite and BlackRose are beginning to return into their normal lives until Akira at long last decides to send her confessional email to Kite. CHAPTER 6 UPDATED!
.hack/SIGN - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,727 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 2/10/2008 - Published: 10/3/2007
Differentiate by sunflowerb reviews
It makes sense that they should have one photo. After all, it was as much their day as it was ours...drabble...implied sokai and namixas
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 826 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 22 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Kairi, Sora - Complete
Finding Destiny by XStarryNightX reviews
Chapter 32: Cagalli closed her eyes, knowing if she left this place, she would be leaving him too.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 118,535 - Reviews: 760 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 1/30/2008 - Published: 8/7/2004 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
Brothers: The English Bratja by Tobu Ishi reviews
Tobu Ishi wrote it. Okichan recommended it. Vic Mignogna made it famous. Now, here's the full original lyrics for the fanmade transliteration of Michiru Oshima's beautiful Russian theme song. Not to mention a bit of the story behind how it was written
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 766 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 19 - Published: 1/30/2008 - Alphonse E., Edward E. - Complete
The Shadow by Queen Of HeartsXx reviews
NaminexRoxas. Namine played the role of a shadow well. AU.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,012 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 1/3/2008 - Published: 5/5/2006 - Naminé, Roxas
Missy, I'll Make a Girl Out of You by Ruru Kitsuneko reviews
Sasuke gets enrolled by Itachi in an all girls school as a practical joke. Itachi's betting he won't last four years without turning gay. Can Sasuke prove him wrong?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 31,929 - Reviews: 442 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 12/27/2007 - Published: 2/7/2006 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Return To This Ugly Yet Beautiful World by moviefan-92 reviews
A new, happier ending to the show. Takes place 5 years after the anime. Takeru spots a familiar light in the sky. Hoping it's Hikari, he rushing towards it. OneShot. COMPLETE
This Ugly Yet Beautiful World/この醜くも美しい世界 - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,086 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/10/2007 - [Takeru T., Hikari] [Akari, Ryou N.] - Complete
Godai Naruto by DBasty reviews
WHAT IF Naruto learned more then Kage Bunshin from the Forbidden scroll. WHAT IF he wasn’t a total idiot. Emphasis on TOTAL. Read as Naruto becomes a living legend. GODAI Naruto. Naruhina, Shikatema, Nejiten, Inochou, Sasusaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,553 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 12/3/2007 - Published: 10/26/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Orange Peel by Mooncake reviews
[SasuSaku] Just as fast as they had come, the Akatsuki had left—taking Naruto with them. “No…” Sakura choked out, “Sasuke…Get him…” But it was too late. Horror and tears mixing, Sakura made her decision then. “…Sasuke, I’m going with you to Itachi.”
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,058 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 11/13/2007 - Published: 5/11/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Invitation to the Chunin Exams by lord of the land of fire reviews
Sequel to Invitation. Temari and Shikamaru are secretly engaged and each facing new challenges. The Chunin exams have begun and chaos reigns as ambitions and goals clash. Not everyone will survive. Shika X Temari, Naruto X Hinata
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 108,118 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 355 - Follows: 116 - Updated: 11/10/2007 - Published: 9/5/2007 - Shikamaru N., Temari - Complete
Make Your Move by Ariados reviews
When Drew is invited by Ash to join himself and May on a tour around Johto, May isn't pleased. Will she makes friends with Drew? and why has Drew been acting strangely lately and does May stand a chance with her crush, Harley? CH24 Up!
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 58,027 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 9/22/2007 - Published: 11/10/2006
It's All in the Cards by Dream Ablaze reviews
Yolei tells Kari's fortune with a deck of cards. Then everything starts to come true! Contains prune juice, giant duck sculptures, male pregnancies, Antarctican weddings, very large hair, eyekisses, Cody fangirls, Davis in pearls, and full fledged war.
Digimon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 31,808 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 9/22/2007 - Published: 8/14/2006 - Hikari Y./Kari K., Takeru T./TK
Unexpected Hero by notesonlife reviews
Being a 'dorm mother', or slave in hell, to five elite shinobi is not an easy task, especially for Tenten. But she’s willing to do anything to become one of them, even if she has to clean up after the former members of Rookie Nine. [NejiTen]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 36,109 - Reviews: 347 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 9/21/2007 - Published: 2/27/2007 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Unwilling by Joy-phoenix-dragon reviews
Athrun Cagalli hate each other.Impossible?Once they loved each other deeply.Their friends decided to sabotage them into marriage without them knowing.Would Athrun and Cagalli willing to compromise or try to divorce?Main Pairing[A&C]include[K&L][Y&S][D&M]
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,509 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/18/2007 - Published: 11/19/2005 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
To Be Or Not To Be by Shikamaru Nara's Fangirl reviews
She just went to his house to see why he hadn’t come to training. She hadn’t planned on being told she was getting married! And to Neji Hyuga, no less. Ya see? Weird things happen when Neji skips training! NejiTenten, complete
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 25,659 - Reviews: 519 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 8/21/2007 - Published: 3/19/2007 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Freedom Samurai by Tori101 reviews
New and old characters, new cities, new sorrow, and a new Hukari.But all have one goal to kill Rau.SEQUEL TO STRIKE SAMURAI you must read Strike Samurai before reading this story. KxL AxC SxS MxM DxM YxRaine NicolxSparrowxMeyrin AndyxAisha
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 55,852 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/2/2007 - Published: 11/12/2005 - Kira Y., Lacus C.
Fanclub by fornwalt reviews
Blackrose meets Kite's fanclub! Oh, are they in for a surprise! blackrosexkite
.hack/SIGN - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,423 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/28/2007 - Published: 5/8/2007 - Blackrose, Kite - Complete
Three Cheers for Romance by My.Last.Resort reviews
Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Shikamaru, and Kiba are best friends. but what happens when romance is thrown into the mix? sorry not yaoi. Naruhina, Sasusaku, Nejitenten, and ShikaTema.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,408 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 7/26/2007 - Published: 8/5/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Black Cat Drabbles of Doom by Moggetchan reviews
To the old readers: LAST CHAPPY Train? Creed? In a bar getting drunk together? This can't be good! To the new readers: A random drabble. Some of them are funny. Some of them are okay. One is TERRIBLE and some are wrong
Black Cat - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 32,459 - Reviews: 308 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/4/2007 - Published: 7/21/2006 - Complete
An Unprofessional Opinion by Ellen Brand reviews
A series of psychologicalpersonality profiles of our boys... with guest shrink Cade Maboroshi!
Detective Conan/Case Closed - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,923 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 98 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Complete
Hold On Tightly, Let Go Lightly by CinderellaxVan reviews
(I never loved you) Words of business man Van Fanel that crushed her. But the saddest thing is that she can't see past the defense he built so carefully, and the fact that he's really good at lying no matter how much it breaks his heart inside.
Escaflowne - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,591 - Reviews: 268 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/25/2007 - Published: 12/22/2003 - Van F., Hitomi K.
Firsts by 716799 reviews
[Oneshot, NejiTen] First kisses are important to all young girls, even kunoichi. Tenten is no exception. Unabashed fluff.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 14 - Published: 6/1/2007 - Tenten, Neji H. - Complete
About a Daddy and a Nanny by syaoran no hime reviews
NejiTen request. Due to a deathbed promise, inexperienced Neji ends up with an instant son. Enter Tenten, the longlost teammate who poses as a birdbrain nanny for her jounin mission, beginning a tale of love, betrayal, and stinky diapers.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 50,041 - Reviews: 1068 - Favs: 791 - Follows: 266 - Updated: 5/27/2007 - Published: 5/6/2005 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Rokunen Mae by Kitori reviews
Excerpts from the shinshi years, or: How Shuuei and Kouyuu became not friends. Kouyuu, Shuuei, Reishin.
Saiunkoku Monogatari - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,924 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 11 - Published: 5/25/2007 - Kouyuu L., Shuuei Ran - Complete
Swanheart by the1koolkitty reviews
Once upon a time, there was a tale of a prince and a Monster Raven. By combining their power, a writer and a duck gave the prince and his princess a happy ending…but can the young writer give the duck and himself one as well? FakirAhiru, MythoRue
Princess Tutu - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,093 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 388 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 5/18/2007 - Published: 2/15/2007 - Fakir, Ahiru - Complete
Three Moves by Kriste-chan reviews
A lot can happen in a fraction of a second. But for a leaf kunoichi, it could only mean death or more deaths. [Nevermore199’s NejiTen, edited]
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,751 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/13/2007 - Tenten, Neji H. - Complete
This Time Around by Asaki Inori reviews
DISCONTINUED The only thing that was real to her now was the warm, firm body that held her close, anchoring her and keeping her from drifting away into the ocean of sorrow and darkness...
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 59,117 - Reviews: 264 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 5/9/2007 - Published: 4/22/2003 - Tomoyo D., Eriol H.
Am i falling in love with you? by cagals reviews
Athrun is known to be the coldest guy when it comes to girls. can somebody will change him?
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,116 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 5/3/2007 - Published: 1/9/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Revenge by xXHereWeGoAgainXx reviews
Scorpia want someone. They want Alex Rider and they know just how to get him. Can Alex save himself and the world or will Scorpia finally get revenge?
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,749 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 4/16/2007 - Published: 1/3/2006
What She Knew and When She Knew It by Kilonji reviews
Kourin comes to terms with her feelings. Drabble. S2 Spoilers.
Saiunkoku Monogatari - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 738 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/16/2007 - Complete
Happily Ever After by Althea SaDiablo reviews
Set an unspecified amount of time postseries. The world turns, the seasons change, and time flows along its proper course. A mirrormonster is dealt with handily, along with some lingering bad memories.
Saiunkoku Monogatari - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,792 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/28/2007 - Complete
Kingdom Hearts: The Quest for the Holy Grail by i AM the Random Idiot reviews
King Mickey is on a quest—to find the Holy Grail! Also featuring Riku, Sora, Donald, Goofy, the Riku Replica, and Sir NotAppearingInThisFanfiction. Spoof of all things Monty Python.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,928 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 3/20/2007 - Published: 5/7/2006
Questioning by numina reviews
We've seen it all from Roxas' point of view. But what about from Namine's? [Namixas].
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 56,918 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 3/12/2007 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Roxas, Naminé
That Secret Chord by lyredenfers reviews
Remember the lap harp in SoTL? Alanna wishes she didn't. Written for a Sean challenge at the Dove.
Song of the Lioness - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/21/2007 - Complete
The Untold Story by volta arovet reviews
There are few stories better left unsaid: those which might bring danger, those which might bring sorrow, and those without any value whatsoever. Franz Boehm's is the latter. Warnings for language and utter lack of merit.
Princess Tutu - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,954 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/17/2007 - Complete
Life's Accelerando by skykeeper reviews
AU. AxC KxL. Athrun and Cagalli are childhood friends. Now that they're together again, all that's standing between them is them and only them.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 16,076 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 2/17/2007 - Published: 5/7/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
New Time, New Place by snekochan reviews
Rosette and Chrono weren't supposed to die. The Angels of Peace have sent the souls of the unlucky pair to the year 2006, in hopes to bring them together. Unfourtunatly, new Rosette doesn't seem to like the idea...especially not her new, weird land lord!
Chrono Crusade - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 75 - Words: 230,649 - Reviews: 876 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 2/17/2007 - Published: 6/28/2006 - Complete
Paper Valentines by Death Quaker reviews
The Paper Sisters try to observe Valentine's, delivering sweets to their friends. A story of friendship and love, dipped in semi-sweet chocolate. REVISED 2-14-2008.
Read or Die - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,501 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/14/2007 - Complete
Valentine's what? by Saotome Kyuubi reviews
Naruto is baffled, he gets a box of chocolate that is 'For Valentine's'. Read as our blonde hero tries to find out what the heck is going on and why did Hinata give the box to him and why she is having a fever... Oh it's NaruHina too.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,836 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 26 - Published: 2/14/2007 - Hinata H., Naruto U. - Complete
Monotone by cheeky doggie reviews
[oneshot][post KH2]There was something about that cocky smirk, the flashing, selfassured eyes full of mischief, and he thought that it looked a lot like him. And let's not forget the gravitydefying hair either. [crossover]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,408 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/31/2007 - Roxas, Naminé - Complete
Tenten's Cousin by BlackElement7 reviews
When the Hokage announces that there's a dance for all of the shinobi in Konoha and Tenten decides to pretend that she does have a cousin, what will happen especially when Neji falls in love? [NejiTen, SasuSaku, NaruHina, ShikaTem]
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,054 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/13/2007 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Himitsu by acyp reviews
Sanzushi Taichi is a registered 'male' transfer student and the new Regular of the Tennis Team. Drawback is he actually has two x-chromosomes. And Fuji the Genius is constantly around: this shoddy cross-dressing plan just got a lot harder for Taiya. Sorta!FujixOC [Under lots of editing and revising]
Prince of Tennis - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 52,910 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 1/11/2007 - Published: 8/7/2006 - Fuji S. - Complete
To Make a King Smile by Ava Caita reviews
Complete. What did Kaye say to Roiben to make him seem to smile in 'Valiant', while Val looks on in chains?
Modern Faerie Tales - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 410 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Published: 1/7/2007 - Complete
The Burning Time by delectate reviews
Complete AxR Post episode 26. Amidst this Burning Time, I see flashes of memory...a dream. This location calls to me, beckoning...bringing me back to the place I have called home.
Witch Hunter Robin - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 193,064 - Reviews: 1117 - Favs: 726 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 12/31/2006 - Published: 1/20/2004 - Complete
Denying Love by cherrystraw reviews
[REPOSTED].AsuCag.Cagalli is the new student at Seed High.She hides many things from everyone there.Will the love of friends and a special someone named Athrun Zala show her how to love and trust in the most unlikely of places?Rated for language.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,266 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/29/2006 - Published: 2/3/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Ties That Bind by skilled-like-a-ninja reviews
A tribute to the Organization in a collection of themed drabbles, one for each Organization member. 100 words each. Standard disclaimers apply. [complete]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 1,313 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/26/2006 - Published: 11/7/2006 - Roxas - Complete
Mistaken Identity by monochromed reviews
An ordinary girl, a lost princess and a coldhearted prince, bound together by one necklace, are brought together by fate. Would he be able to choose whom he really loves among two similar faces? UPDATED FINALLY! Chapter 8 up!
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,350 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 12/24/2006 - Published: 3/25/2005 - Eriol H., Tomoyo D.
A Christmas Cliché by numina reviews
It's just a dare. Who knew it'd turn his life and his conscience upside down? [AU holiday fic] [Namixas] R&R.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,692 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/14/2006 - Published: 12/5/2006 - Roxas, Naminé - Complete
Dislocated by chibi-sprite reviews
EuryxAyla After a fight withan angel Something changes inside of Eury, and he fights for aylas life. A bit angsty at the start, but i promise this will be a happy fic with a few sad bits :
Immortal Rain - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 911 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/7/2006
Love By Elimination by St3ll3rC reviews
He's cursed, he's desperate, he needs to fall in love, so what happens when he agree's to his best friend's most outrageous plan yet? Read and find out! AxC and various other pairings. Read and review!
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 54,150 - Reviews: 531 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 12/2/2006 - Published: 8/15/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Love meets Again by uzamaki-chan reviews
Cagalli and Athrun meet when Cagalli falls on top of him! When they least expect to see each, they sit next to each other on the plane! When they say they're goodbyes they find out Athrun is Cagalli's brother's best friend! What adventures await them?
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 16,484 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 11/30/2006 - Published: 1/18/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Superficial by Yellow Mask reviews
Oneshot, set after the series. Ed had been downright puzzled – how could Dante have thought he was in love with Rose? Slight drabblelike qualities, some Edwin.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 923 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/9/2006 - Edward E., Winry R. - Complete
Mental Help by Sunflower Seeds reviews
6. Failing to establish a professional boundaries with a phychologist and client is met with punishments. What happens when two meet and fall in love but some words in a huge book says they can't? AxC
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,226 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/7/2006 - Published: 2/12/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Princess Tutu OVA: Chapter of the Girl by LunaSphere reviews
Their story is not quite finished yet: how Ahiru and Fakir move past the endings they find themselves in. All reviews welcome. AN: Ch. 7 now moved to its own multichapter story: Reactions: A Tale of Unmitigated Sap. I apologize for the confusion.
Princess Tutu - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,460 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/2/2006 - Published: 7/5/2006 - Ahiru, Fakir - Complete
Something Like That by GrimmZ reviews
It is a romantic ninja play and no one is really sure what it's about, when the leading lad and lady fall ill it is up to poor Temari and an unwilling Shikamaru to save the day. [T for language]ShikaTema
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 37,555 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 10/16/2006 - Published: 7/9/2006 - Shikamaru N., Temari
Glitter Lipstick and a High IQ by White Scribe reviews
The worst fear of Artemis Fowl a FANGIRL! None of his friends nor his brains can help him, can someone come to the rescue? Sure thing! Five Chappies. Complete. REVIEW! AXM
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,758 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 10/2/2006 - Published: 2/2/2006 - Artemis F. - Complete
Ten Nonlinear Moves by Sequitur reviews
Tony doesn't become team leader overnight. First, they have all have to watch movies, develop new neuroses, and make flowcharts.
NCIS - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,336 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 832 - Follows: 71 - Published: 9/29/2006 - Tony D., Tim M. - Complete
When There was Me and You by SakuraDrops93 reviews
Roxas has feelings for Namine, but doesn't feel them being returned. He makes up for his loneliness by having a slut as a girlfriend, but not knowing she's a slut. How will Namine feel? R&R Please!
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,430 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/29/2006 - Published: 8/24/2006 - Roxas, Naminé - Complete
Quibbles by Kriste-chan reviews
Hinata uses reason to stall Sasuke's inquiry on her feelings for Naruto. Let the bombarding begin. SasuHina friendship fic
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,546 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 7 - Published: 9/22/2006 - Sasuke U., Hinata H. - Complete
The Bet with the Devil by asga reviews
Cagalli, a new girl in Destiny College who doesn’t care about boys. Athrun, the popular boy in college, is arrogantly determined to make Cagalli falls on him. Will he be able to achieve his tasks of seduction?
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 22,785 - Reviews: 615 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 9/11/2006 - Published: 10/27/2005 - Complete
One Hundred Themes: Genius by syaoran no hime reviews
How does a mere kunoichi defeat a clan genius in a battle of his advantage? Little Tenten makes a way.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,895 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/21/2006 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Heaven Sent by monochromed reviews
Meet Tomoyo, the antithesis of what an angel should be: a cynic, blackmailer and an all around mischief maker. Will Eriol be able to help her get back to Paradise or will fate interfere the second time around? CHAPTER 3 UP!
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,745 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/19/2006 - Published: 10/22/2005 - Eriol H., Tomoyo D.
Escaflowne II: The Journey to the Mystic Moon by Evil StormSister reviews
[Completed 08.07.06] It has been 10 years since Hitomi has been on Gaea. But, with a vision, Van is sent to Earth in hopes to finding out what is going to happen and how to stop it. The adventure of Escaflowne continues...
Escaflowne - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 117,658 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 8/7/2006 - Published: 3/17/2005 - Hitomi K., Van F. - Complete
Perfection by Toboe LoneWolf reviews
Tenten always liked numbers. She liked them beyond just statistics and mathematics...she liked numbers for the meaning behind them. [Drabbleish, slight Nejiten.]
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 978 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/31/2006 - Tenten, Neji H. - Complete
Unchained Love by EmpathicReader reviews
[COMPLETED] Cagalli Yula is the best kunoichi of the Purple Blossoms. Now, she faces Athrun Zala... Her mission... [Mainly AxC, subtle but noticeable DxM & YxS]
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 34,593 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 7/29/2006 - Published: 5/22/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
That's Why by Masako Moonshade reviews
Tenshi Ja Nai fic Just another end to just another day.
Misc. Anime/Manga - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 347 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/26/2006 - Complete
Whipped by Toboe LoneWolf reviews
Love. Like whipped cream, sometimes you have to beat it outta them. Or completely and totally shock 'em. [Oneshot, Nejiten]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,409 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 22 - Published: 7/14/2006 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Love Takes Up the Glass of Time by MeandtheWords reviews
He is already 25, a widower, a doctor, and a father. She is already 23, a widow, a teacher and a mother. Will love blossom again and bring back all the lovely memories? AxC CHAPTER 6 UPDATED!
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,847 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/14/2006 - Published: 9/1/2005 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
Untitled Tale by lookupon scarletskies reviews
[NejiTen] [ch.9 UP] Tenten was to work as a maid in the Hyuuga's mansion. What sort of begining or end will this lead to? T for language, mostly NejiTen, some NaruHina and negligible amount of SasuSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 32,490 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 7/12/2006 - Published: 1/16/2006 - Neji H., Tenten
Players by Lady Genevieve reviews
Evin Larse. Miri Fisher. How can they be anything more than friends if Miri is intent on avoiding Evin? [Oneshot] [Complete] [Follow up to Persuasions and Always Just Friends]
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,042 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/9/2006 - Tortall - Complete
I Now Pronounce You ::: DEAD by Kirai-chan reviews
Tenten is a Chinese ninja captured during the war. Now she has been sent to Konoha's Genin Academy. It's got drama, it's got mystery, it's got tragedy, it's got angst, and it's got a cold heartless jerk. What more could a girl want?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,266 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 14 - Published: 7/1/2006 - Tenten, Neji H.
Always Just Friends by Lady Genevieve reviews
Evin Larse. Miri Fisher. Best friends. Maybe more. But probably not with the constant stream of women that separates them. [Oneshot] [Complete] [Follow up to Persuasions]
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,423 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Published: 7/1/2006 - Tortall - Complete
Persuasions by Lady Genevieve reviews
Evin Larse. Miri Fisher. One bet. Two friends...and a lover. [Oneshot] [Complete]
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,301 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/27/2006 - Tortall - Complete
Air and darkness by wayofthepen reviews
Nara Shikamaru, you will take Temari to be your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, for better or worse, until the chauvinist pig chasing her is satisfied this isn't a trick. You may now scream in terror.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,359 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 487 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 6/25/2006 - Published: 5/23/2006 - Temari, Shikamaru N. - Complete
In the Spotlight by Tap-Chan reviews
AU Film making, a little romance add some insane fans and irritating men. Cagalli's just been arm twisted by her agency to act in a.... ugh... romantic drama. The horror! What's this? Filming starts in a week!
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,704 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 6/25/2006 - Published: 8/29/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Equal by MusicalDaydream reviews
For Namine, love is like sweetener... extremely sweet with a bitter aftertaste. [RoxasxNamine]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,253 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/11/2006 - Naminé, Roxas - Complete
It's Not My Fault by thousandbirds reviews
COMPLETED Cagalli was transfered by her father to a new school with a very very lose rules. There she met Athrun Zala who had misteken her for a boy and things started to go round between them when Athrun always do something wrong in front of her.
Gundam Seed - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 66,525 - Reviews: 479 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 6/10/2006 - Published: 8/23/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
Alive by numina reviews
Nobodies can't feel. The what the hell was she feeling right now? Oneshot Roxamine. Spoilers. Review please.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,117 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/5/2006 - Naminé - Complete
On One Way and Another by raikendai reviews
imagine juggling high school life and life itself? it's just a game of chance... and if by chance you met the one rightfully meant for you, would you let go? *ON HIATUS
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 106,851 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/31/2006 - Published: 10/14/2005
Weakness by Kei9chan reviews
Mikan Sakura, the infamous nostar, has finally had it with Natsume’s behavior and being with him for five years has shown her that there is no way to melt the ice around him… But then again, knowing his weakness is another thing…
Gakuen Alice - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,838 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 5/13/2006 - Published: 4/24/2006 - Complete
Remediation by LostTranslation reviews
She died and came back with something that wasn't hers, a gift or a curse? Meet Morgan, granddaughter of Susannah and Jesse de Silva...
Mediator - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,968 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/11/2006 - Published: 2/21/2006
Fighting the Fates by Warlordess reviews
Complete While making their way through Sootopolis, Ash and friends run across a local Seer who says Ash and May are fated to be together! Then Misty and Drew pop into the picture. Whatever could they have to say about this? Poke x Contestshippy fic.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 43,487 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 5/6/2006 - Published: 2/23/2006 - Ash K./Satoshi, Misty/Kasumi - Complete
Under One Ceiling by fictionalfact reviews
Athrun, the next president of his father's company and Cagalli, a poor citizen struggling to live contentedly. But he found himself under her mercy when certain circumstances turn the tables around.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,271 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 5/5/2006 - Published: 1/13/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Unrequited by Nate Grey reviews
Eriol & Tomoyo make an unusual agreement to act as a couple... but one of them isn't pretending. Can Sakura push them together before the shadow of Clow Reed forces them apart for good?
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 34,279 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 5/2/2006 - Published: 3/4/2002 - Eriol H., Tomoyo D. - Complete
Just Trust Me by XStarryNightX reviews
AxC Chapter 3 Welcome Home: “It is about time he comes home,” Lacus responded excitedly. “Excuse me?” Kira asked surprised. “Why would you be happy?”
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,154 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/19/2006 - Published: 7/2/2005 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
Love and Pride by asga reviews
Cagalli, the aristocrat who lost her parents and doesnt care about men. Athrun, the most eligible man in the country who doesnt trust women. Will they fall in love when they met? Medieval time and AU, AC pairing
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,795 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/14/2006 - Published: 11/11/2005
What now by xo'.'MaRsHmAlLoW'.'MeL'.'xo reviews
Chappie 15! FINALLY UP! Just a kinda funny, romantic fic about how the characters handle life after war. They end up in the same school after like, 1 year! Crazy huh! This is a DxM, AxC, and KxL fic, mostly DxM! YAY! PST! IM ADDIN SOME YxS!
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 58,075 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 3/26/2006 - Published: 10/22/2005 - Dearka E., Miriallia H.
Crawling Back to You by Cagalli Yula Athha Fangirl reviews
AsuranCagalli twoshot. My ending version of Gundam Seed Destiny. No spoilers. Read and Review. Read AN and if you still haven't read and reviewed the story... well what the hell are you waiting for? XD
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,379 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/15/2006 - Published: 12/12/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
Seeds of Dawn by Lady Onuk reviews
Naturals or Coordinators. It didn’t matter, they were just children dragged into a war that was not theirs, forced to grow up faster than they should and blaming themselves for not being strong enough to live on. Asucaga fic
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,955 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/8/2006 - Published: 2/24/2006 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
Tutoring Trouble by ovp reviews
COMPLETE! TEARS!Cagalli is new at University and she needs a tutor.See how life changes for these two lonely people. Now join us for the drama! mainly AxC some LxK MxD YxS
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 49,338 - Reviews: 543 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 3/7/2006 - Published: 1/15/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
Confidence by Aki Kaede reviews
[Sequel to The Better Thief] The Phantom Thief makes a comeback! This time he wants to steal the kiss of the most beautiful woman in the world. What will Cagalli do to prevent him from bringing chaos to Orb again? AthrunXCagalli [Oneshot]
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,339 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/26/2006 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z. - Complete
Back Here, With Me by Aki Kaede reviews
[Oneshot] The second war has ended. Cagalli decides to make some decisions while Athrun has some of his own. Will they be together or go their separate ways? Post Destiny. AthrunXCagalli
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,977 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/25/2006 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z. - Complete
Bittersweet Sacrifices by fluxo reviews
She convinced him he loved another.She sacrificed her happiness. Yet he has his doubts. Was she really telling the truth? AsuCaga: 1st chap is SUPERRR SHORT sorry...
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 336 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/19/2006 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
Twelfth Night by Ruru Kitsuneko reviews
[Summary Changed] Retelling of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night Gundam Seed style. Twins Kira and Cagalli get seperated by a storm, with each believing that the other had died. Now, they must find love, before they find each other. AxC KxL DxM ANxAI
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,088 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 2/11/2006 - Published: 1/7/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Just One Wish by Jennii-chan reviews
Tomoyo and Eriol have been friends since he moved to Tomoeda two years ago. Tomoyo is heart broken when he gets a new girlfriend, and also when he is single, only because she knows he would never be with her, will her wish of dating him ever come true?
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,556 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/10/2006 - Published: 1/2/2006 - Tomoyo D., Eriol H. - Complete
Divination by Fukari reviews
Athrun, chairman of PLANT doesn't need a wife. Cagalli, Princess of Orb doesn't want a husband. Read how friends, politicans and even the citizens conspire to bring these two obstinate figures together.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 35,165 - Reviews: 401 - Favs: 209 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 2/7/2006 - Published: 9/10/2005 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z. - Complete
Eyes of Fire by Kunoichi of the Red Hibiscus reviews
Remember me?HI!Changed my name!It's just the same story!
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,385 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/28/2006 - Published: 1/6/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
My fallen love by lemaybe reviews
When everything in thier life has been a lie. And hearts ended in pain and sorrow. Will they be able to heal... Through the good times and the bad? Through sickness and in health? Till deathe do they part? A very heartwarming and devastating story... But
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,502 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/24/2006 - Published: 12/15/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Hyuuga Engaged by Rekino reviews
Tenten receives the shock of her life when she finds out Neji is engaged. After meeting his fiancé, of whom he doesn't even like, Tenten is determined to make her life hell by flirting with Neji.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,543 - Reviews: 279 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/23/2006 - Published: 1/7/2005
Forgotten Memories by Tarantada reviews
You'll have to read it to find out what this newbie story is about.Read and Review Plz
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,920 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/13/2006 - Published: 1/7/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
As Luck Would Have It by mumyou nanashi reviews
HIATUS. Due to her father's weird taste in future sons in law, Cagalli Yula Athha decides to make her great escape and hides out in her cousin's apartment. Enter her worst childhood enemy and sparks [the unromantic kind] fly. [AU, AC]
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,667 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 1/11/2006 - Published: 12/8/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Remember our Love by Beucko reviews
The war is over but some soldiers refuse to stop the fighting , Athrun goes back to the battlefield but after a while is not heard from again and feared dead , meanwhile Yuuna tries to seduce Cagalli.AxC
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/11/2006 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
Time's Given Stream by Kereyi reviews
Athrun Zala and Cagalli Yula Attha thought their lives to be perfect. Everything goes wrong, however, when Jadein turns nine. Full Sum Inside. AxC, JxOC, and a little DxM
Gundam Seed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,652 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/7/2006 - Published: 9/23/2005 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
Awkward Moments by jackie-88-ac reviews
Love between weird moments...definetly an AXC fic. so far, first chapter up!
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 985 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/7/2006 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
A Runaway in Heliopolis Institute by blottyparchment reviews
A runaway in Heliopolis Institute is keeping a big secret. The roommate turns out be a very perceptive guy, namely Athrun. He senses something's off. Who is this person and what secret is she keeping? Ch3 up.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,667 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/7/2006 - Published: 4/22/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Waiting On You by periodic-prose reviews
Athrun thought he was just having a average day, about to have a drink at a average cafe. What happens when he meets a not so average waitress? [Athrun&Cagalli, Kira&Lacus]
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 56,930 - Reviews: 652 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 1/4/2006 - Published: 9/14/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Misunderstood Love by animegirl2961 reviews
Tomoyo and Eriol like each other, but they don't really show it. Will they find out that they both like each other? Or will it remain a secret for ever?TomoyoxEriol [OneShot]
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,597 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/3/2006 - Eriol H., Tomoyo D. - Complete
One Month Of Love by AsuCaga reviews
[AC Pair] Cagalli came to Plant to visit Kira for one month as she was bored in Orb. She wanted to stay in Kira's apartment but realised that a guy Athrun Zala who is cold in attitude is staying with him! How will they get along together in this 1 month?
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,544 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/3/2006 - Published: 1/1/2006 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Oh Baby by Lie74 reviews
[AxC] What will happen now? What will he do? Can he fix it, for there is another. [Meyrin fans beware][Teen for launguage]
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,232 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/1/2006 - Published: 12/27/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
From Princess to Peasant by Cagalli27 reviews
AU Asucaga Medieval time. "But Princess, it's your duty." a phrase Cagalli is fed up hearing. So what is her option? To run away disguised as a peasant of course. Meanwhile, Prince Athrun of ZAFT is on a search and destroy mission for her.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,359 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/1/2006 - Published: 10/29/2005 - [Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.]
The Winner by Garowyn reviews
It's nearly midnight! Who will give Athrun the New Year's Kiss?
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,991 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/31/2005 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z. - Complete
Captured by Lie74 reviews
What happened if Cagalli was taken captured by ZAFT instead of make it away in a transport ship. So what will happen? Read to find out. Done
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,236 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/27/2005 - Published: 9/18/2005 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z. - Complete
Speechless by Kesshou Uryou reviews
“I. Hate. You.” “Such strong words for a little lady.” “You'd do well not to underestimate me.”
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,860 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/25/2005 - Tomoyo D., Eriol H. - Complete
All I Want for Christmas by Child Of Light 133 reviews
Short First Chapter. An Asucaga fic of the season of Christmas. Couples AxC, KxL, and maybe more.
Gundam Seed - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,416 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/25/2005 - Cagalli Y. A., Athrun Z.
Seek To Understand Then To Be Understood by HimeHeenim reviews
The Princess arrives home and found something...amusing. [Oneshot] Athrun x Cagalli
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 600 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/22/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
What You Do About Me by Mysteriol reviews
Remake of Bad Blue-eyed Boy. Eriol is better known as the Bad Blue-eyed Boy of the high school his father owns. Then comes innocent and cheery Tomoyo who has accidentally incurred his wrath! [AU ExT]
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,625 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 12/15/2005 - Published: 12/13/2004 - Eriol H., Tomoyo D.
Here with Me by k4gh reviews
my first attempt at asucaga... set after gundam seed since i don't really like destiny... be nice! And.. review?
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 616 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/10/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
The Chain Letter by mumyou nanashi reviews
“It’s better to be safe than sorry…” A chain letter lands on Athrun’s inbox. What else could he do but send it to someone else?
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,889 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/6/2005 - Complete
All is Fair In Love and War by kuramasbabygurl reviews
Two kingdoms sworn to be enemies. Kira is king of Heloipolis and Athrun is the vampire king of Initial Death. Athrun kidnaps Cagalli and now tensions run high. Love blooms and alliances are made and broken.AxC KxL AxK MxM FxY DxMi and other fun couples.
Gundam Seed - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 27,155 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 11/28/2005 - Published: 3/20/2005
Irresistible Enemy by asga reviews
Cagalli felt depressed when her fiancée died and her aim is to get the revenge on the man that killed her fiancée, Athrun Zala. But after she met him, will she be able to fulfill the revenge?AC pairing, and maybe a little DM
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 31,889 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 10/27/2005 - Published: 8/13/2005 - Complete
Jokes and Harmony by Vani Jane reviews
[COMPLETE]AxC. This was supposed to be a project for English but it turned out not. It's a comedy I think. the Zala's and Athha's ave been fighting until two of their heirs fell in love and try to find a solutiong to obtain peace but that'd be hard if you
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,522 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/24/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
Vampires by Vani Jane reviews
[COMPLETE]AxC fic. It's a vampire story for Halloween, not really horror its more romance than horror. Please read and review. OOCness Main pairings are: ATHRUNxCAGALLI KIRAxLACUS NICOLxFLAY YZAKxSHIHO DEARKAxMIRIALLIA OCxOC.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,311 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/19/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
Fighting Demons by Nightjar reviews
[Expectationsverse] There has always been at least one knight in every generation of the Queenscove line. When Jacen finds himself unable to take that place, Basheba knows that she must go instead. [NealYuki]
Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/9/2005 - Tortall - Complete
The Trials We Face by LokiGirl reviews
Life is is a constant journey of pain and happiness. There are no exceptions. Neither are the relationships we hold dear easy to create or maintain. This is a story about Loki and Mayura, and how they overcome the trials life gives them.
Matantei Loki Ragnarok - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 54 - Words: 125,493 - Reviews: 360 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 10/6/2005 - Published: 4/27/2004 - Complete
No Longer Alone by LacusFan reviews
A tale of romance, intrigue, conspiracies, and lots of other stuff. Main pairings are the usual KxL, AxC, DxM, SxS, etc. plus some. Post Jachine Diue, so some SPOILERS. Rated T for mature situations, violence, and language. Complete.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 188,663 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 9/20/2005 - Published: 6/1/2005 - Complete
Influence of the Fates by Kereyi reviews
[COMPLETE]Cagalli Yula Attha has taken quite a turnabout on the PLANTs, when she realizes her life is in danger. She even manages to find love in the most unlikely of places. AxC, DxM and some KxL. Full summary inside.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 13 - Words: 62,138 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 9/11/2005 - Published: 7/28/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
A Funny Thing Happened by xDeanax reviews
AU [Athrun x Cagalli] Somehow, Cagalli has to help her brother win the heart of the girl he loves...while distracting the girl's insufferable fiancé, Athrun Zala. Can she pull it off when she can't even tidy up her own apartment!
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,100 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 8/27/2005 - Published: 8/18/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A.
Political Suicide by Chibi Tenshi reviews
What happens when a nervous, inexperienced journalist meets a very CRANKY Orb leader? Post GSD. AthrunCagalli
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,170 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 15 - Published: 8/27/2005 - Cagalli Y. A.
Not meant to be by crayziexanime reviews
Cagalli is transferred to a boys' academy for a reason that she doens't even know. There, she meets a guy named Athrun Zala who has a secret of his own. Both their life changes in a way they never expected. AxC
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,727 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 8/19/2005 - Published: 5/29/2005
Blind date of fate or hell by Lie74 reviews
AxC and KxL. What happens when Lacus sets up a blind date for Cagalli. What will come from this? Complete!
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 13,386 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/15/2005 - Published: 7/17/2005 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
Fairy Tales: Gundam SEED Style! by Shiroyuki and Hirama reviews
Chap.7 UP! What do you think if the Gundam SEED cast played the fairy tales? Just read this fic and you will know. Please R&R Pairings AsuCaga and miscellaneous others depending on the story.
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,625 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/1/2005 - Published: 5/16/2005
Be My Valentine, Anytime by randombill21 reviews
AU. Valentine's in the air, but Mwu feels that the students at Elsemere High needs more romance and thinks of matchmaking. Then Le Creuset proposes a bet that he can't refuse. Sorta merges with Destiny KL DM AC YOC SS
Gundam Seed - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 53,062 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 5/21/2005 - Published: 2/2/2005
Dimensional Exchanges by XyoushaX reviews
Sakura is sucked into another world, and has to figure out a way to come back to the Shinobi world. But what if her origins lie in this new dimension, and not in Konoha? Is she really meant to be a kunoichi? COMPLETE
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 50 - Words: 155,489 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 3/13/2005 - Published: 4/30/2004 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Second Atlantis Machine by Yugismpuzzle reviews
Final Chapter Uploaded! The first time Hitomi went to Gaea, it was to stop the dreaded Atlantis Machine, but now there’s another one! How can someone fight an enemy when the enemy is someone you love?
Escaflowne - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 18 - Words: 79,198 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/2/2004 - Published: 3/8/2003 - Hitomi K., Van F. - Complete
The Gift by Chayla Maznable reviews
Athrun's POV songfic Gundam Seed Destiny says Athrun became Cagalli's personal bodyguard. Athrun noticed Cagalli isn't enjoying the Orb Festival so he takes him away from public. AthrunxCagalli oneshot
Gundam Seed - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,985 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/17/2004 - Athrun Z., Cagalli Y. A. - Complete
Echoes by Calendar reviews
It will be Sakura's first real solo mission without her teammates. She regrets that she ever looked forward to it.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,426 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 270 - Follows: 48 - Published: 7/14/2004 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Forget the Clouds by Goldberry reviews
Christopher Bailaha never thought he would find someone to protect, especially not an innkeeper's goldeneyed adopted daughter, but what life takes away, providence provides.
Scrapped Princess - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,899 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/24/2004 - Published: 6/15/2004 - Complete
Ende des Tages by Goldberry reviews
Kite x BlackRose. In the midst of finally discovering their mutual feelings, BlackRose is kidnapped and plunged into the center of a plot that will take all of Kite's courage to solve. Will he be able to save her before it's too late?
.hack/SIGN - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,319 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/25/2004 - Published: 4/16/2004 - Complete
The True Meaning of Love by Secret Agent Angel reviews
KelDom fluff a sequal to Knight Commander, Dom goes missing, will Kel be able to find him? Also some NealYuki
Song of the Lioness - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,000 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/17/2004 - Published: 4/12/2004
Daidouji Mayura: Chaos Goddess by Yashahime reviews
Mayura, a goddess? How did THAT happen? See for yourself!
Matantei Loki Ragnarok - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 57,697 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/26/2003 - Complete
When love blooms by Sodafizz reviews
Just another day. They defeated a demon. They got the shard and now they find a hotel. Normal right? Or is it when the keeper mistakes Miroku and Sango as married and they have to stay with each other. Will this be hell? Or will Love bloom? M/S Complete!
Inuyasha - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,408 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 8/17/2003 - Published: 7/10/2003 - Complete
Red by Lacewood reviews
A year after their first meeting, Yoh and Anna meet again.
Shaman King - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,576 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/7/2003 - Published: 7/5/2003 - Yoh A., Anna K. - Complete
Don't Ask Me! by The Create Card reviews
Shortly after the events of 01, things are getting back to normal. But poor Tai Kamiya's about to face a problem no big brother should ever have to face. His little sister's about to ask him...WHERE BABIES COME FROM!!
Digimon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,584 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/28/2002
Spirit Sojourn by KarissaEB reviews
Rating... for now. There's not too much I can say about this in the room I have, except that it won't be a waste of time. It has to do with Revelation, though. Strongly Christian, with good romance and humor mixed in. Please don't flame it though, I w
Digimon - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 23,550 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/20/2001 - Published: 11/27/2001
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Moments in Time reviews
EdWin 100 Themes. 069. Not know. The last words she addressed to him for a long while were of the sort that escaped lips thoughtlessly, which if heard would make the speaker squirm uncomfortably because it was far too true to be comfortable.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 15,031 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 6/11/2011 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Edward E., Winry R.
Not Quite Synchronicity reviews
RoyAi Hundred Themes. Formerly 'Memories.' 081. Footsteps. Roy settled back down in his bed though he knew he wouldn't sleep. He knew he'd see her in the enemy's clutches in the morning. However much he wished she were in his arms instead.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 22,182 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 6/11/2011 - Published: 8/16/2008 - Roy M., Riza H.
Innocence: ElliotxAda One Hundred Sentences reviews
You don't catch her when she falls and it is a 'don't' rather than a 'can't', the Nightray pride runs deep, but she giggles and you are forgiven for what you do not do because you've never tried to be the hero and it'd be a poor time to start. ElliotAda
Pandora Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,747 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/14/2011 - Elliot N., Ada V. - Complete
Darkmoon reviews
Vignettes. Subtly HeiYin because they're never anything else. Tenth. Massacre. Corpses. Mountains of them, fresh-killed, ready for scavengers, maggots, rot.
Darker than BLACK - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,474 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 3/21/2010 - Published: 11/14/2009 - Hei, Yin
Letters reviews
Takari. 'The one good thing about not seeing you is that I can write you letters.' -Svetlana Alliluyeva. They exchanged letters after he left, before he returned for good. Set between Adventure and 02. Epilogue up.
Digimon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,108 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/21/2010 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Takeru T./TK, Hikari Y./Kari K. - Complete
Tsubasa and Misaki's Valentine Adventures reviews
Or rather, how Misaki gives Tsubasa chocolates over the years as they progressively get sweeter. “The chocolates got squashed,” the boy complained. “It’s your fault, you know.” “It tastes different somehow.” “Ungrateful.” “I didn’t say it was bad, did I?”
Gakuen Alice - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,808 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/13/2010 - Tsubasa A., Misaki H. - Complete
Rationality reviews
DtB: Shikkoku no Hana. Chapter nine: “Run, Yin! Escape through the route I’ve shown you.” The Contractor smiles mockingly even as you hold him up with your free hand. “Of course she won’t, she’s a Doll. Dolls can’t do anything on their own."
Darker than BLACK - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,475 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Hei, Yin
Discretion reviews
Kouyuu and Shuuei friendship. "SHUUEI? YOU SENT SHUUEI TO TAKE CARE OF THE FOREIGN DIPLOMATS?" Ryuuki did his best not to cower. It was a difficult thing, for all that he could defeat Kouyuu quite easily in a sword fight if worst came to worst.
Saiunkoku Monogatari - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 994 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Published: 5/30/2009 - Complete
Friendship and Fire reviews
RyuuXFinn. You like to think they're happy now. You are. Now you have a proper heir, and Finn has someone she likes. That person likes her, too. It didn't matter that she never talked about him. It was obvious. 'True love is friendship -- caught on fire.'
S.A - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,661 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Ryuu T., Finn Koupe - Complete
indubitable reviews
That Astelle A Daimonia Eucalystia Aram was irrevocably, completely, totally in love with Hoshina Airi was indubitable. AramAiri. Edited 5/18/10.
MeruPuri - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 428 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Aram, Airi H. - Complete
Relationships and Sand reviews
YahiroXMegumi. 'Love... it's a process. Like healing. I don't need to be happy now, but I'll be happy one day. You'll be happy one day.' Mention of all canon pairings. Edited and reposted!
S.A - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,326 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Yahiro S., Megumi Y. - Complete
Love for Life reviews
This was love at first sight, love everlasting: a feeling unknown, unhoped for, unexpected-in so far as it could be a matter of conscious awareness... ...and he understood, with joyous amazement, that this was for life. -Thomas Mann KazunexKarin
Kamichama Karin - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 491 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Kazune, Karin - Complete
On Remeetings reviews
SasuSaku. Sasuke knew that his body would move on it's own to protect someone important... ...A sweet, slow smile spread on her lips. It mightn't last forever, but for now... "Sasuke-kun."
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,228 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Polydipsia reviews
n. Excessive or abnormal thirst. He kissed her for a long time, but he still had the odd still-craving feeling, but it wasn't so much heightened by the bloodlust, and he was finally aware that this truly might mean 'goodbye'.
Vampire Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,060 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Zero K., Yuki C. - Complete
On Fixing reviews
When a doctor saves a life and the patients are reunited with their loved ones, the doctor usually averts his eyes from the scene, feeling out of place, like intruding. It could have both ways, and the doctor knows it. You drink in every moment. 2ndperson
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,351 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/22/2008 - R. Chase, A. Cameron - Complete
Pickup Lines reviews
You never believed in pickup lines. Chameron. Second person P.O.V. - Chase
House, M.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,375 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/28/2008 - R. Chase, A. Cameron - Complete
Operation: TAKARI PI reviews
Wait, who're we kidding. We love to embarrass you guys, it's like our only job that we do willingly. Er, fine. Takeru, Hikari, this is for you guys." A muffled thud was heard. "Uh, I have to go. It seems my brother has, um, flailed himself to the floor."
Digimon - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,857 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 11/28/2008 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Takeru T./TK, Hikari Y./Kari K. - Complete
Entertain Me reviews
A collection. 03. Hikaru knew Izumi was always crazy, but then the degree of insanity was prone to change given certain situations.
Tenshi Ja Nai!! - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,387 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 11/10/2008 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Complete
Protection reviews
You're running away, you know," and he twists the brass knob and walks out. You find your voice and manage to yell at him as he leaves. "Not everyone's like you, Chase!" Chameron, set some time after Hunting.
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,227 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2008 - R. Chase, A. Cameron - Complete
A Sort of Perfection reviews
It may not have been true perfection, but it was a sort of perfection that is sometimes found in people who genuinely care for each other. MasahiroXAkiko
Shonen Onmyouji - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,540 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Akiko, Masahiro - Complete
Awkward reviews
Team Seven friendship. SasuSaku, NaruHina. Because embarrassing Sasuke’s that much fun. ‘Oi, teme… I… er… I’m planning to propose to Hina-chan soon and… and… I think Sakura-chan would be pissed and I think…’ A misunderstanding, flirting, and coffee.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,134 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Healing reviews
Sakura’s hands glowed green when she healed. Hinata’s medicinal creams were known for their potency. Ino’s knowledge of plants with medicinal properties surpassed that of most medics. Where did she stand? NejiTen oneshot. Reposted with certain edits.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,553 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/21/2008 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
After Death reviews
The day before Rosette and Chrno's... demise. CxR ChrnoRosette. “What do you think will happen to us when we’re gone?”
Chrono Crusade - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,100 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete
I Think of You reviews
Chapter 101 in Akito's POV. The camellia, it was a flower. Transient, fleeting. And yet it had a meaning. 'Steadfast Love' ... reposted for errors!
Fruits Basket - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,428 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Shigure S., Akito S. - Complete
I've Always Been Watching reviews
He doesn't know this, does he' 'He doesn't. Demo... It doesn't matter. I will share in his happiness, even if he doesn't know it.' NaruHina oneshot, sister fic to 'The Most Important Thing', but works as a standalone.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,236 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
The Most Important Thing reviews
Any fool who stood in their path were plowed over by a fierce jounin who could seriously incapacitate them and a chuunin who had a hundred percent accuracy and had mastered more weapons that they could never dream or hope of even seeing. NejiTen oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,467 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
How Hyuuga Neji Got a Friend reviews
Little eight year old Tenten stands up to Hyuuga Hiashi 'Neji needs a friend'. NejiTen oneshot, slight NaruHina.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,637 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
Acte Gratuit reviews
Gratuitous impulsive act. 'Most likely, he would marry some noble's daughter, make a big name for himself and forget that there was once a girl named Kourin and that he had cared for her the way he had when she was vulnerable.' EigetsuxKourin
Saiunkoku Monogatari - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 964 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Complete
J'y suis, J'y reste reviews
Here I am, Here I remain. A spoken promise still stands over a long, long time. Will Shuurei accept? RyuukixShuurei
Saiunkoku Monogatari - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 444 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Complete
Simple Rose reviews
Because Drew and May travelling together isn't without it's ups and downs. ContestShipping.
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,405 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/20/2007 - Drew/Shū, May/Haruka - Complete