MadManWithAHat
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Joined 12-05-16, id: 8530788, Profile Updated: 09-06-21

Gender: Male
Born in the year 2000

I live in the USA on the East coast an work as a full time chef, writer of many fanfictions, publisher of none. They'll only ever get published here when I've completely finished writing them.

Favorite Sports/Activities: Bouldering, Hiking, Canoeing, Kayaking, Camping

Favorite Movies: Jurassic Park, Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean

Favorite Anime: Naruto, Problem Children are Coming From Another World Aren't They?, The Irregular at Magic High, Trigun

Favorite Manga: Berserk, ID The Greatest Fusion Fantasy, Ares (and Nephilim by Ryu Geum Chel), One Piece, Goblin Slayer, One Punch Man

Favorite Books: Inheritance Cycle, Harry Potter, Rangers Apprentice, Brotherband Chronicles

Favorite Video Games: Dark Souls, Dark Souls 3, Bloodborne, Battleblock Theater, Borderlands, Borderlands 2, Pokemon Gens 1-4, Monster Hunter(all)

I've put all this stuff in hopes to bring a smile to the face of those who take the time to read profiles.


We're a Dying Breed

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait.”

To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that gave his heart.

To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

...This one bulletin is for you

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image. If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed "If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."


Kennedy and Lincoln


Have an American history teacher explain this… if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Lyndon and Andrew both have six letters.

Lincoln and Kennedy both have seven letters.

Hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'.

Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theatre.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.


Kids Are Quick


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher


38 Things to do in an Elevator


1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

38. If someone looks at you, scream, "I swear! I only meant to knock him out for a little bit!"


How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school or work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'


Funny Sayings


“If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.”

"If the opposite of pro is con, then does that mean the opposite of progress is congress?"

“I’m not worried about artificial intelligence taking over the world. I’m worried about real stupidity destroying the world."

“If we get lost can we go in triangles, not circles?"

“I have a life, I just choose not to use it.”

“I’m a pyrotechnician. If you see me running, try to keep up.”

“You, laugh at me, because I'm crazy, I laugh at you, because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder!”

“Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering… WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?”

“Sanity? Why would I want something as useless as that?”

“Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!”

“Education is important, school however, is another matter.”

“Don't hate yourself in the morning--sleep till noon.”

“You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?”

“Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?”

“We are not retreating… we are advancing in another direction.”

“I’m right ninety-seven percent of the time. Who cares about the other four percent?”

“They say ‘Guns don't kill people, people kill people.’ Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.That depends on whether you’re in a nursing home or not.”

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

“Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!”

“If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.”

“Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door…”

“If at first you don't succeed, blame it on bad parenting.”

“Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.”

“Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.”

“Always forgive your enemies--Nothing annoys them more.”

“Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick.”

“There are three kinds of people in the world; people who can count; and people who can’t.”

“Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.”

“I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.”

“You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.”

“Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.”

“When life throws you lemons, cut ’em open and squirt the juice in its eye.”

When life throws you lemons, throw a brick back.”

“When life throws you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.”

“When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 2 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them."

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”

"Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."

"The light at the end of the tunnel is the train coming."

"Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head."

"I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over her again."

“Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45."

"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you’ve been good this year… he died laughing."

"Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls."

"If you wish on a falling star it might come true...unless it's a meteor hurtling to earth...then no wishes come true...unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurtling to earth."

“There’s a dark cloud over my head, so I’m praying; ‘Lord, please don’t send lightning.’"

“It’s not dead till you poke it with a stick.”

“Fire is a good servant, but a terrible master.”

“There are too many wishes, and not enough stars.”

“Facebook is like a refrigerator. You check it when you’re bored but nothing ever changes.”

Gotta go. I’m not really going anywhere, but neither is this conversation.”

“I do know, I just don’t feel like telling you!”

“Santa Claus is a creeper. He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good, he comes down your chimney in the middle of the night with a giant sack of toys--see what I mean?”

“I have six locks on my door. Whenever I go out I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they’re always locking three.”

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”

“It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.”

“He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.”

“A great name for a new country song: If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now.”

“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.”

“I learned law so well. The day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”

“Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.”

“Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.”

“If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”

“If you're going through hell, keep going.”

“To the world, you are one person. But to one person, you are the world.”

“Would you like a side of epic with that fail?”

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

“Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.”

“When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”

“There are worse things than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.”

“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”

“Knowing is half the battle. The other half is punching someone in the face.”

“I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.”

“I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.”

“Most people are only alive because it’s illegal to shoot them.”

“Some say the glass is half empty; some say the glass is half full. I say, “are you gonna drink that?”

“All people have the right to stupidity. Some abuse the privilege.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

“They say no one is perfect. Well, I’m no one.”

“Do not drink and drive--you might spill the drink.”

“When life gives you lemons say “screw you” and go find an orange.”

“Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

“A word to the wide isn’t necessary--it’s the stupid people that need the advice.”

“Alright everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, that way, when you yell, the name will carry.”

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I haven’t tried before.”

“Cross country skiing is great if you have a small counrty.”

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

“Get your facts straight, then distort them as you please.”

“Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?”

“How many people have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.”

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”

“I wear a necklace ‘cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.”

“I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started with twenty-eight years ago.”

"I don’t forgive people because im weak. I forgive people because I’m strong enough to realize that everyone makes mistakes."

"By the power vested in me, I now pronouce you deleted and blocked! You may now kiss my ass!"

"If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question."

"You think I’m screwed up? You should meet the rest of my family!"

"Money can’t buy you happiness, but somehow crying in a Porche is a lot more comforting than crying on a bicycle."

"Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you next time he is in trouble."

“Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but neither does milk."

"Three out of two people have trouble with fractions."

"Best friends. We’re the kind of people who laugh at a joke three times. The first time, when it’s told. The second, when someone explains it. The third, five minutes later when we actually get it."

"We’re not sarcastic - We’re hilarious. We’re not annoying - We’re just cooler than you. We’re not mean - We just don’t like you. And we’re not obsessed - We’re just best friends."

"I’ll always be beside you, until the very end, wiping all your tears away, and being your best friend. I’ll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I’ll cry too."

"Friends help you with your crack addiction. Best friends are the ones who sold it to you."

"Friends knock on your door and call your parents Mrs. and Mr. Good friends simply open the door and call your parents Mom and Dad. Best friends show up in your room with no warning whatsoever.”

"Got acne? Just ask your girlfriend what to do. Oh, that’s right! You don’t have a girlfriend!”

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police.”

"The world is going to hell, and I am driving the bus.”

"Three a.m. phone call. 'Hey are you sleeping…?' '“No. I’m skydiving.’ "

"I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug.”

"If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”

"If Google didn't exist, we’d all be screwed.”

"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns left.”

"Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.”

"Having children is hereditary. If your parents never had children, odds are you won’t either.”

"Remember. There’s no I in ‘Team.’ (But there is an M and an E)”

"A classic is a book that is much praised, but rarely read.”

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.”

"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”

"How is it one careless match to start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?”

"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”

"It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.”

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”

"I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." -Mr. Garrison, South Park.

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I’m going to mop the floor with you’re face.' I said, 'You’ll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.’ "

"After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF!”

"What’s the difference between a northern fairy-tale and a southern fairy-tale? A northern fairy-tale begins 'Once upon a time…' A southern fairy-tale begins 'Ya’ll ain't gonna believe this shit…’ "

"Haiku's are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.”

"Déjà vu - When you think you’re doing something you’ve done before, it’s because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.”

"There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch fire to learn that it’s hot.”

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?”

"Only in America… Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.”

"They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.”

"People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.”

"What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.”

"How do you get a sweet, little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet, little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!”

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole more as they get older. Then it dawned on me… they were cramming for their finals.”

"Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.”

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Five tequila, six tequila, seven tequila, door.”

"Why is it in the U.S.: If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing a Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: 'There’s a naked person outside!’ ”

"English people have different ways of saying things. We say 'elevator' they say 'lift.' We say 'president' they say 'stupid psychopathic git.' "

"This is AMAZING! Why is it free?!”

“I was wondering why I had to catch the ball, then it hit me"

"A thousand memories I took for granted, always assuming there would be a thousand more"


If you need a smile on your face read these...

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

I've got ADHD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a girlfriend/boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you.

A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked- Bernard Meltzer

Friends are relatives you make for yourself- Gustache Deschamps

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Amateurs 1- Pro 0.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Though we were quite surprised Stupidity was able to do it.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone.


15 Great Sayings

1.Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear

bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a punishment for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by
those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.


i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile


This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat.

Okay now go back and read the THIRD WORD in each sentence and I promise you won't be able to resist to put this on your profile.


The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A*."


Girls

are like

apples on trees.

The best ones are

at the top of the tree

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just Get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree.


Random Questions

If the sky's the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated movies allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Even Walt Disney, his creator was scared of mice.
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when we talk to God when we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
Why do people say ,"you can't have your cake and eat it too" when no one would have a cake if they can't eat it?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
What was the person doing to the cow(or goat) when they discovered milk?


Random Sarcastic Junk.

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Some people are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Some people are like slinkies. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

When someone pisses you off, it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to extend your arms to beat the crap out of them

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do, kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that! If you leave some flaming crap, kudos to you!

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

It's just strange how the evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my water."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Many wondered how Stupidity was able to frame Curiosity. He wasn't called 'Stupidity' for no reason

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

-Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

In Pursuit Of Magic: A Self-Insert by Zero Rewind reviews
Somehow, I find myself reborn in the world of Harry Potter as a no-name orphan. You know what that means: pursuing magic's secrets and uncovering the most tantalizing of mysteries this world has to offer! Oh, Voldemort? Why should I care? SI OC. A slow-boil, realistic journey of a man rediscovering his path in a world of great magic— whether for good, or for evil.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 106,841 - Reviews: 1531 - Favs: 6,377 - Follows: 8,210 - Updated: 2h - Published: 2/16/2020 - Harry P., Voldemort, OC, Gellert G.
The Chronicles of the Force by RyanSquad reviews
Darth Vader manages to overthrow the Emperor and free the galaxy from his tyrannical hands of Darth Sidious, but the former Sith is unable to forgive his past sins, fill with remorse. The prophecy is fulfill but with a cost and the deaths of millions so the Force sends its Chosen One back to where it all began. (Currently being edited until further notice.)
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 147,288 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 593 - Follows: 747 - Updated: 1/15 - Published: 3/21/2021 - Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K., Qui-Gon J.
Self-Taught Fuinjutsu Master by Valar Ipradtis reviews
I realized pretty quickly that being isekai'd into the world of Naruto was far from a fairytale. If you weren't born as a clan heir, or at the very least in the main cast, you were absolutely fucked. There's literally a million ways for fodder like me to die, and now I have to figure out a way to navigate all this shit on my own? A cool power would've helped, you know. SI-OC.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 35,241 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 1,302 - Follows: 1,788 - Updated: 1/15 - Published: 12/17/2021 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., OC
Game of Shadows by Adrian King1 reviews
'So, summary. I am in the Naruto world. I have a name that isn't mine and I have a really nerfed version of the Gamer. Is that all? Am I forgetting something?... Right, Inventory.' At that I received yet another disappointment.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 76 - Words: 359,047 - Reviews: 8178 - Favs: 9,672 - Follows: 11,556 - Updated: 1/14 - Published: 11/9/2019 - Naruto U., OC
Shattered Chains of Fate by Lore55 reviews
Through a misunderstanding and a poorly read application, Ichigo Kurosaki gets a chance internship at the Chaldeas Security Organization. It changes everything. OR: Ichigo takes the place of Ritsuka Fujimaru long before he even meets Rukia Kuchiki.
Crossover - Bleach & Fate/Grand Order - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 105,523 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 363 - Updated: 1/12 - Published: 10/30/2021 - Ichigo K.
Magic Knows No Boundaries But Those We Believe In by NonsensicalRants reviews
Harry Potter liked his new life as a professional Seeker. With Voldemort nothing more than a bad memory he thought his life was finally his own. Waking up in an alternate universe where Tommy still ran amok killed what little optimism he'd discovered since the war ended. But he'll be damned if he wasn't going to eek out a life of his own choosing regardless of fate's interference.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 106,888 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 1,668 - Follows: 2,362 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 12/29/2018 - [Harry P., Bellatrix L.]
Shinobi Amongst Godlings Book Two by Tactition101 reviews
Hello Sea of Monsters, meet Naruto/Percy a reincarnated Shinobi son of the sea god. You may now proceed to hide whimpering under your bed crying for mommy. Rated T for Saftey
Crossover - Naruto & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 37,472 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 815 - Follows: 939 - Updated: 1/10 - Published: 3/4/2017 - Naruto U., Percy J.
Back? Not Really by grumpywolf reviews
Snape died at the Shrieking Shack without telling Harry about the Horcrux hiding in his scar. Harry went ahead and defeated Voldemort, not knowing that his fight was far from over. After 22 years and 3 wizarding wars later, he finally understood why the Dark Lord kept coming back. Exhausted by decades of wars and left with no other choice, he stepped into the Veil of Death.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 133,046 - Reviews: 2713 - Favs: 5,860 - Follows: 7,948 - Updated: 1/8 - Published: 5/26/2021 - Harry P., Fleur D., Bellatrix L., Hedwig
Naruto: The Avengers by Daemon0Angelo reviews
Naruto left the Elemental nations and wound up in a world where flying metal man, magic, and gods exist. Jiongu, seal master, RinneTenseiSharingan. Extremely AU. Naruto!OP NarutoxHarem. 2000-2500 words per chapter. discord xAyvMcrg6R.
Crossover - Avengers & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 95 - Words: 265,109 - Reviews: 4507 - Favs: 7,217 - Follows: 8,020 - Updated: 1/7 - Published: 6/30/2020 - [Naruto U., Black Widow/Natasha R.]
Sealkeeper: He Who Binds by Eyazahrid reviews
His sister may have been given the Kyuubi, but armed with Namikaze Minato's greatest sealing masterpiece, Uzumaki Naruto will carve his way through the shinobi world- one body at a time.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 150 - Words: 1,202,760 - Reviews: 9134 - Favs: 9,085 - Follows: 9,335 - Updated: 1/7 - Published: 12/4/2015 - Naruto U., Kushina U., Naruko U.
To Call A Place Home by missmusicluver reviews
Harry won the war. It's months afterwards and unexpectedly, he's literally picked up off the face of the world and shoved into another. One where Harry Potter died a long time ago. Where the Potter family's still fighting a war against a Dark Lord that's ruling the world one muggle murder at a time. They say he's their only hope. Harry doesn't really want in.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 21 - Words: 130,125 - Reviews: 2793 - Favs: 9,158 - Follows: 11,756 - Updated: 1/7 - Published: 8/31/2013 - Harry P., Sirius B., James P., Lily Evans P.
Nidaime no Sairin by Anime Enthusiast reviews
Naruto always enjoyed discovering new places and locations in Konohagakure. One night, after finding a cave, he decides to venture inside only to find the most beautiful waterfall he had ever seen. Once inside, Naruto finds a lone rock that contained black markings. Thinking nothing of it, Naruto touches the black marking. What happens then no one could ever predict.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 169,878 - Reviews: 2219 - Favs: 7,778 - Follows: 8,761 - Updated: 1/6 - Published: 9/24/2014 - Naruto U., Kurenai Y., Tobirama S.
Blood Ink by Yojimbra reviews
Izuku's quirk allows him to give bring to life art on his body, but due to Japan's strict tattoo laws and his own mother's strictness he's unable to get one that would actually be useful, after failing the U.A. entrance exams, Izuku's desperate quest for a tattoo leads him down a very strange path.
My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Crime/Family - Chapters: 50 - Words: 118,988 - Reviews: 2124 - Favs: 3,427 - Follows: 3,768 - Updated: 1/4 - Published: 3/1/2021 - [Izuku M., OC] Inko M.
Borne of Desire by Fuggmann reviews
A man given a new lease on life finds himself amongst pokemon. From his childhood memories of pokemon as a whole, he assumes the power of pokemon and the world around him runs on convenient fate, rule of cool, and cheesy friendship just like any other anime. Unfortunately for everyone, he's 100% right. (M-Rating might be overkill)
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 57,067 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 1,440 - Follows: 1,737 - Updated: 1/4 - Published: 8/25/2021 - Prof. Rowan/Prof. Nanakamado, Lucario, OC
A-Bomb by Twubs reviews
Samuel Sterns made it out of Harlem, causing ripples to be felt throughout the MCU. SI/OC SI/Rick Jones AKA A-Bomb.
Avengers - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 33,399 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 673 - Follows: 827 - Updated: 12/31/2021 - Published: 11/21/2021 - OC
The Choices We Make by Darkbetrayer reviews
Doing what's right isn't always easy. Pyrrha found that out the hard way. When Jaune revealed he forged his transcripts, she had no choice but the tell Ozpin. Little did she know of how this one act would affect not only his life, but hers as well.
RWBY - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 91,875 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 957 - Follows: 1,365 - Updated: 12/31/2021 - Published: 4/1/2021 - [Jaune A., Ruby R.] Pyrrha N., Qrow B.
Lancaster Arms: Two Dorks and Military Grade Weaponry by Professor Donger reviews
Ruby Rose and Jaune Arc both share a love of weaponry and a dislike of shallow people who don't love guns as much as they do. A chance meeting at Beacon changes their destiny, the two of them determined to get married after Beacon and found their own weapon shop. Now if only everyone else was onboard and understood their plans. Blacksmith!Jaune and Ruby. Crack Treated Seriously
RWBY - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 49,066 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 818 - Follows: 1,067 - Updated: 12/30/2021 - Published: 8/1/2021 - [Ruby R., Jaune A.] Yang X.L., Ozpin
Teen Titans: Two of Four Elements by NewMystery356 reviews
After Slade quit holding back, it seemed almost impossible... but somehow, the Teen Titans were able to defeat him. Emerging from their nemesis' shadow wholly for the first time, though Jump lay it ruins, they can now rebuild. However, it isn't only the city or their Tower they must rebuild, but also the friendships that had become strained to the breaking point.
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 184,171 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 420 - Follows: 488 - Updated: 12/28/2021 - Published: 7/22/2015 - [OC, Raven, Terra]
A Badass' Quest Across Pandora by flameclawsxx reviews
When I won some apparent Isekai lottery, I was excited. A new chance for life? heck yeah! but considering that I now have to fight giant imprisoned monstrosities, hot girls with swirly tattoos across their bodies, and some Jack-ass with a mask, maybe... I chose my new world poorly. huh. At least I had the foresight to grab my own swirly tattoos. (Male Siren SI/OC) (Gamer Elements)
Borderlands - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 42 - Words: 236,093 - Reviews: 2070 - Favs: 3,239 - Follows: 3,670 - Updated: 12/24/2021 - Published: 1/19/2021 - Zer0, Tiny Tina, Gaige, OC
The War of Titans by PerseusPeverell092 reviews
Torn from his Universe, Harry Potter arrives into one filled with Aliens, Mutants, Super-soldiers, Armored suits, Assassins and Eldritch beings of unimaginable power. A God among Men, now where the Gods roam the Earth; he must become a Titan among them. Mutant, Eventual God, Harry x Multi
Crossover - Harry Potter & Marvel - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 76,127 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 1,712 - Follows: 2,362 - Updated: 12/24/2021 - Published: 1/31/2021 - [Harry P., C. Danvers/Ms. Marvel/Captain Marvel, J. Grey/Marvel Girl/Phoenix]
Welcome to the (insane) world of Pokémon by CaptainMoonshine reviews
Well, this is not what I expected, still not too surprising. I've seen too many of those self inserts and Isekai to be surprised. Still, how does one survive in the world of Pokémon? (Self Insert)
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 101 - Words: 336,145 - Reviews: 4922 - Favs: 4,588 - Follows: 5,380 - Updated: 12/24/2021 - Published: 2/4/2020 - Ralts, OC
Borne Of Caution by Fuggmann reviews
An irritated Pokemon might tell you to stop what you're doing. An irritated animal will probably just attack you. Pokemon, for all their power, would be open books and a breeze to care for to any competent animal handler on Earth. After a fiery death, a professional zookeeper who never outgrew Pokemon games ends up in the world of Pokemon. The entire world is thrown onto its side.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 36 - Words: 251,787 - Reviews: 2913 - Favs: 7,271 - Follows: 8,188 - Updated: 12/22/2021 - Published: 9/18/2019 - Brendan/Yūki, Vulpix/Rokon, OC, Zinnia
A Psychic's Journey by Tactition101 reviews
So apparently Taifun is doing Arceus a favor. Well, I certainly won't complain about the change in scenery, especially since I'm getting psychic abilities to go with it. (Story will stick primarily to games, though starts in Galar Pre Sword/Shield Warning, Multi Pairings down the line though not a main part of the story) (M Rating to be safe)
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,308 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 45 - Published: 12/19/2021
The Natural by lightningwarrior215 reviews
Leo's first order of business when he is dropped unceremoniously into the pokemon world is to survive. Seeing as he is in the middle of the wild with only a small pocketknife, some papers, and a backpack, and with no signs of civilization in sight, that is setting up to be quite the task. Semi SI-OC.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 38 - Words: 341,380 - Reviews: 1988 - Favs: 4,181 - Follows: 4,810 - Updated: 12/17/2021 - Published: 6/17/2020 - Prof. Samuel O./Prof. Yukinari O., Slowpoke/Yadon, Tyranitar/Bangiras, OC
Dining with Divinity by SoulReaperCrewe reviews
Even the Gods and Goddesses of Olympus needed a day off. Sometime's they needed time away from the constant bickering and never-ending controversies of their family. On one such day, Wisdom and Moon found themselves discovering a hidden gem within the city that never slept, and meeting a familiar blonde knucklehead with a penchant for the colour orange.
Crossover - Naruto & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 164,749 - Reviews: 5525 - Favs: 10,998 - Follows: 11,938 - Updated: 12/8/2021 - Published: 12/5/2019 - Naruto U.
Is It Wrong To Crawl My Way Back Home, One Dungeon Floor At A Time? by Anco reviews
Taking a walk through the forest turned out to have some unforeseen consequences. A city full of Adventurers and Gods along with a Dungeon full of Monsters that can easily kill me stand between me and going back home. At least I have this 'Gamer Mode' thing to help me out.
Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 271,663 - Reviews: 1323 - Favs: 3,629 - Follows: 4,522 - Updated: 12/5/2021 - Published: 2/24/2019 - Bell C., Hestia, OC
Breaking Point by Carrots123 reviews
The death of Sirius Black has a much more profound effect on Harry, resulting in him taking his training seriously in preparation for the war to come. Who knew that a single summer was all it would take to turn Harry into one of the most dangerous contenders in the war. Grey not Dark HarryxHarem. Post OOTP. Major AU and Character Death eventually. Partial Creature Harry.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 94,858 - Reviews: 1048 - Favs: 4,053 - Follows: 5,503 - Updated: 12/3/2021 - Published: 7/26/2018 - [Fleur D., Harry P., N. Tonks]
Nerve Dead by Aether apostle reviews
Grey hated the pokémon franchise. What was all the fuss about? Years since he last played, he mostly forgot about it. But the universe loved irony more than vanity. One day, enraged by his abusive step father for the last time, he snapped. But inches before he drove the knife in, Grey died. Just like that. Only to awaken in a world filled with familiar creatures, ruefully ignorant.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 90,555 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 11/29/2021 - Published: 10/6/2021 - OC
Whispers of a Raven by TheBlack'sResurgence reviews
The world around him had crumbled as the Ministry fell. He had become the hunted, and with only his wits, resilience and an ominous raven, he'd had to learn to survive. But why was he so compelled to go to the one place he knew he should avoid? The whispers urged him as did the dreams that plagued his sleep. Perhaps Death truly was the beginning... Time-travel, Harry/Narcissa
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 347,072 - Reviews: 3223 - Favs: 8,806 - Follows: 9,361 - Updated: 11/23/2021 - Published: 4/18/2021 - [Harry P., Narcissa M.] Arcturus B., Death - Complete
Rikudou: The One Above All by Novus Maximus reviews
An extraordinary man dies in one world and awakes in another. A genius unrivaled in the use of his abilities, abilities that he once thought to be mere fiction. Witness the rise of the Pillar of Strength that shall hold the world up with the godly power that is within all, for he is the one avatar of the six paths reborn upon this world Male!SI-OC Chakra!OP Sharinagan/EMS/Rinnegan
Crossover - Naruto & My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 151,174 - Reviews: 1035 - Favs: 3,095 - Follows: 3,371 - Updated: 11/19/2021 - Published: 4/13/2020
High Winds On The High Seas by Tactition101 reviews
When I 'died' in a car crash I never expected I'd have the chance to end up in the One Piece world. There's just one problem, all of my memories of the story line are now gone, with only the words Straw Hat Pirates to give me a clue of what I'm supposed to do. Still, at least I got an incredibly useful Devil Fruit out of the deal. Logia Version
One Piece - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 53,774 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 458 - Updated: 11/15/2021 - Published: 5/5/2019
Pokemon Jordinio Version! by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
So there I was enjoying myself at a bar about to pick up a pretty girl and then bam! I'm on Route 1, short as shit and somehow twelve again. Oh well, at the very least I can get that Charizard I always dreamed of. Self Insert.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 19 - Words: 101,492 - Reviews: 1488 - Favs: 2,982 - Follows: 3,387 - Updated: 11/13/2021 - Published: 1/11/2018 - Ash K./Satoshi, Charizard/Lizardon, Pidgeot/Pigeot, Hilda/Touko
Atlas: The Titanic Hero! by Greed720 reviews
Izuku had a Quirk, but it was one that neither he, nor anyone else, ever expected. Neither was the way he manifested it, anything like he thought it would be. It was not a day of excitement like it should have been, but night of terror instead. Cover picture by: Murr34Hurr/ @theartofgaf (Instagram)
My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 94,140 - Reviews: 868 - Favs: 3,456 - Follows: 4,078 - Updated: 11/12/2021 - Published: 9/17/2019 - Izuku M.
Naruto the Quirky Villain by fairy tail dragon slayer reviews
Not all villains are evil, some are... just Quirky.
Crossover - Naruto & My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 46 - Words: 163,581 - Reviews: 5118 - Favs: 6,753 - Follows: 7,303 - Updated: 11/5/2021 - Published: 3/31/2019 - Naruto U.
Darth Vader: Hero of Naboo by AkumaKami64 reviews
The Force often works in strange ways. That was never truer when Darth Vader, not Anakin Skywalker, found himself on Naboo during the Trade Federation occupation. How is the Republic to react to a Sith Lord that has committed no crime and is aiding Queen Amidala? And did I mention Vader wasn't the only one brought along the ride? No, it's not Luke or Leia.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 28 - Words: 153,788 - Reviews: 5681 - Favs: 12,667 - Follows: 15,019 - Updated: 10/31/2021 - Published: 1/12/2016 - Darth Vader, Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon J., Padmé Amidala
But Embers Remained by Modnartenstein reviews
He had only known the Fire. And Fire was practically all that what he could remember. But now he was in a new world and he had to find his place in a country divided by the war. It wouldn't be easy, but nothing in his life was. He was almost burned, but at least, some embers remained.
Crossover - Dark Souls & Kuroinu: Kedakaki Seijo wa Hakudaku ni Somaru - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 67,998 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 1,261 - Follows: 1,580 - Updated: 10/29/2021 - Published: 7/17/2019 - OC, Maia, Origa D
The One Who Could MHA, SI by Qtaro Cujoh reviews
After wasting a life full of privileges i find myself in the body of a homeless kid in the world of My Hero Academia. I'm hungry. I'm scared. I... I don't want to die here. I will live, if nothing else for this kid's sake. Quirks doesn't define who we are. I'm going to show you that you don't need a quirk to become a Hero... ish. Reincarnated OC, Morally grey protagonist.
My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 46,547 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 1,390 - Follows: 1,734 - Updated: 10/28/2021 - Published: 4/17/2021 - OC, Himiko Toga, M. Aiba/La Brava, Kazuho H./Pop Step
Uzumaki Naruto: Dawn of the Gamer Remastered by Legend of the Kyuubi reviews
A young Naruto grew up with little to no friends and because of this he developed a love of video games. Little did he know it would result in him waking up with the ability to view life as one. Naruto had no idea what to make of this, but after discovering the perks decided to go with the flow. But will life be harder or easier remains unseen? AU. Naruto/The Gamer/Solo Leveling.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 172,066 - Reviews: 6438 - Favs: 12,621 - Follows: 14,839 - Updated: 10/26/2021 - Published: 7/16/2011 - Naruto U., Ino Y., Hinata H., Anko M.
Retrograde by Knife Hand reviews
Harry's trial before fifth year goes differently because someone knows more than they should about Harry. Time Travel Fic. Chapter 31 up.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 44,604 - Reviews: 1476 - Favs: 4,502 - Follows: 6,102 - Updated: 10/24/2021 - Published: 6/27/2016 - [Harry P., Amelia B.]
A Gamer In South Blue by LordVishnu reviews
He's not involved with The Straw Hats. He's not involved with the story. He's half a world away from all that insanity and quite frankly...he's fine with that. Gamer Fic. Semi-SI.
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 27 - Words: 156,038 - Reviews: 4395 - Favs: 9,176 - Follows: 10,506 - Updated: 10/5/2021 - Published: 4/13/2019 - OC
Knight of the Force by Illuviar reviews
When he dies on the second Death Star, Darth Vader is transported to his younger body, during the start of the Clone Wars. The galaxy will never be the same again. Edit: The overhaul is complete and I removed the original chapters.
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 29 - Words: 119,480 - Reviews: 1227 - Favs: 4,207 - Follows: 4,974 - Updated: 10/3/2021 - Published: 1/8/2015 - [Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala]
Orange by LeviTamm reviews
Things went a little differently on that first day of the death game. Before Kayaba's announcement, Kirito had PKed another player. An action that permanently changed his cursor to orange. Now he's a criminal. The other players will hunt him down for that. The NPCs will refuse him service. He won't be able to trade with anyone anymore. He was completely alone now. Slight AU.
Sword Art Online/ソードアート・オンライン - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 349,881 - Reviews: 1388 - Favs: 2,139 - Follows: 2,504 - Updated: 9/25/2021 - Published: 3/26/2018 - Kirito/Kazuto K., Asuna/Asuna Y., Agil/Andrew Gilbert Mills, Argo
This Bites! by Xomniac reviews
Sea Kings, sea-sickness, sunburns, a 95% genocidal Navy and more than a million and one other assorted ways to die. It's official: Being inserted into an anime sucks ass... Buuut I guess it could be worse. I mean, look on the bright side: At least I'm sailing with the future king of the pirates. (Self-Insert)
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 95 - Words: 1,936,392 - Reviews: 9181 - Favs: 8,942 - Follows: 8,500 - Updated: 9/18/2021 - Published: 9/19/2015 - Luffy, Tashigi, OC
Taking the part as an Esper by TheSpiralHair reviews
Self-insert story. A grown man sent to a world overrun by god-like beings with only an ability he never thought obtaining and an appearance he never thought becoming. Can he change something in this dangerous world? Especially with the bald protagonist present?
One Punch Man/ワンパンマン - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 42,866 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 520 - Follows: 623 - Updated: 9/2/2021 - Published: 9/3/2020
Baked Divinity by SoulReaperCrewe reviews
Orario, the city of adventurers, and home to the strongest Familia's across the world. Fighting monsters and trying to get a handle on their crazy deities personalities can be hard work. It's a good thing a blonde shinobi with a talent for baking walked into town and opened up shop.
Crossover - Naruto & Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,821 - Reviews: 489 - Favs: 2,282 - Follows: 2,498 - Updated: 8/24/2021 - Published: 12/30/2020 - Naruto U., Tiona H. - Complete
Phoenix From the Ashes by AltruousAlliterator reviews
The war with Voldemort took a dark turn. One that ravaged the Earth and doomed humanity. Harry Potter has lost everyone he loved. When he interrupts a Dark ritual and is sent into another world, he sees familiar faces and events from his past occurring in front of him. Will he fight against the darkness? Or will his past failures consume him? OOC Harry; H/Multi; AU; Trope Heavy.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 141,182 - Reviews: 778 - Favs: 2,761 - Follows: 3,669 - Updated: 8/17/2021 - Published: 2/26/2020 - [Harry P., Fleur D., N. Tonks, OC]
Rip the Earth in Two with Your Mind by I am psycowriter reviews
Raising a pack of raptors was one thing. Finding himself in a mental bond with them was another. Being forcefully bonded with a pair of creatures that shouldn't even exist was so far out of the realm of possibilities Owen Grady had clung to that at this point he's not even sure what to do with himself. Oddly enough, Henry Wu is the only one not freaking out.
Jurassic Park - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 49,611 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 1,531 - Follows: 1,500 - Updated: 8/16/2021 - Published: 6/25/2015 - Velociraptor, Owen, Indominus Rex, Barry
Warrior from the Shadows by RyanSquad reviews
Almost two years after the beginning of the Empire, Darth Vader, tired of being a servant to the Emperor, chooses to desert from the Empire.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,909 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 8/3/2021 - Published: 4/22/2021 - Darth Vader, Handmaidens, Luke S., Leia O.
The Crimson Demon of Chaos by MasterW reviews
Uchiha Madara is someone that lost everything for a cause that wasn't even his. Now he founds himself in a place where he can start anew. With the curse of hatred lifted off his shoulders, a newfound freedom in an unknown world, he wonder what to do with his life. Maybe become a pirate, a marine or something else. Maybe he can find a new purpose here.
Crossover - Naruto & One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,828 - Reviews: 448 - Favs: 910 - Follows: 1,063 - Updated: 7/28/2021 - Published: 12/13/2018 - Madara U., Luffy, Ace, Sabo
A Tricksters Secret Rabbit by Alpine992 reviews
In a strange course of events, Bell never meets Hestia. Instead he decides to attempt the Dungeon alone, without a Familia. After he returns from his first trip into the Dungeon a certain bored Goddess discovers him and takes him in, just how will Bell fare as Loki's little secret?
Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 58,789 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 1,627 - Follows: 1,949 - Updated: 7/22/2021 - Published: 2/2/2020 - Bell C., Loki, Naaza E.
The Unexpected Vow by thelostlibrary1 reviews
Everyone knows about Bill and Fleur's wedding. Well what happens when the Wedding Minister gives the wrong vows? Now add in some of the Famous/Infamous Potter Luck. Good thing Harry doesn't have to worry about Dark Lords or jealous friends. Oh, wait. Nevermind. Well what could possible go wrong. Rate M for possible language/content. HP/HG/FD/NT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,956 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 725 - Updated: 7/14/2021 - Published: 5/11/2021 - [Harry P., Hermione G., Fleur D., N. Tonks]
Sitch Across Worlds by Anonymous Ideas reviews
Naruto just wanted a quick mission before his training trip and Kim just wanted to stop Drakken with time to study for her history test. In the end both got what they wanted, just not in the way they intended.
Crossover - Naruto & Kim Possible - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,066 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 259 - Follows: 308 - Updated: 7/14/2021 - Published: 9/19/2018 - Naruto U., Kim P., Ron S.
Naruto: The Game of Life by SeerKing reviews
Uzumaki Naruto wakes up one day to find out that his life has been turned into a RPG game, thanks to his 'Gamer' ability. What should he do about this? Smart(er) Naruto. Elements of Romance Games included in later chapters, so possible upgrade to M later. NarutoxHarem. Now has a TVTropes page!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 196,055 - Reviews: 4405 - Favs: 14,540 - Follows: 17,047 - Updated: 7/7/2021 - Published: 1/15/2015 - Naruto U.
Is It Too Much To Ask To Be Left Alone? by Ashbel Longhart reviews
Bell Cranel died to a Minotaur in the Dungeon. Years later, he finds himself in Lordran after escaping the Undead Asylum only to die over and over. And then he burned for many, many years. And after many centuries, what seemed like a dream, Bell finds himself back in the Dungeon. So what does he do now that he's back home? To be frank, he just wants to be left alone.
Crossover - Dark Souls & Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 157,423 - Reviews: 1005 - Favs: 5,019 - Follows: 5,963 - Updated: 7/1/2021 - Published: 4/1/2019 - Great Grey Wolf Sif, Bell C., Hestia, Aizu W.
A Goddamn Children's Cartoon (James Semi-SI) by LordVishnu reviews
One moment James was perfectly fine.. and the next he was not. Story has heavy 'Choose Your Own Adventure' elements. Get in here and start voting.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,555 - Reviews: 513 - Favs: 482 - Follows: 613 - Updated: 6/19/2021 - Published: 5/10/2021 - James/Kojirō, OC
Shadow Play by Noodlehammer reviews
There was something to be said for being reincarnated into a world where you can become a superpowered badass, most of it unfit for polite company. At least he got put into the role of Shikamaru, so nobody would wonder why he was sighing so much.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 22,900 - Reviews: 432 - Favs: 3,245 - Follows: 3,979 - Updated: 6/17/2021 - Published: 5/2/2021
Danmachi: Heroic Will by Eli-er01 reviews
8 Years after Bell Cranel becomes an adventurer, everything he has built as well as love has fallen after the mysterious awakening across the globe. As a final resort he managed to travel back in time to right before he started his march to the great city of Orario to become an adventurer. Follow Bell Cranel as he fights for a future where everything that he holds dear may survive.
Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 41 - Words: 239,704 - Reviews: 564 - Favs: 1,054 - Follows: 1,161 - Updated: 6/10/2021 - Published: 4/10/2020 - [Bell C., Aizu W.] Hestia, Finn D.
Of Heroes and Monsters by Yiuceht reviews
Pariah at birth. Dead-last in his class by seven. Shinobi-dropout by nine. Mercenary by ten. S-rank in the Bingo Book by twelve. Ex-terrorist by thirteen. International criminal by fourteen. They say the road of life is full of twists and turns...
Crossover - Naruto & RWBY - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 234,215 - Reviews: 1204 - Favs: 2,480 - Follows: 2,915 - Updated: 6/6/2021 - Published: 7/1/2018 - Naruto U.
Hella Potter and the Reincarnated OC by Cambrian Beckett reviews
In which an OC reincarnated into the Wizarding World finds a few significant changes from canon. Least of all is Hella Potter replacing Harry Potter as the Girl-Who-Lived and the Savior of the Wizarding World. (Rated M for a reason! Sexual themes abound!) [Abandoned!]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 127,720 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 3,352 - Follows: 3,664 - Updated: 5/23/2021 - Published: 1/10/2019 - Harry P., OC
Is it wrong to try to pick up Girls in a Dungeon with my scary senpai? by Dingirverse reviews
"Years before Hestia met Bell, she stumbled across a dying teenager, and goes into debt to hire a doctor, he repays Hestia by becoming her first familia. Dingir has come to the dungeon, eighteen years old and fresh from killing the Devil Aka Manah, Dingir took a wrong turn when leaving Hell and was transported to a light novel world." Grey Faction crossover, self insert, OC. AU.
Crossover - Book X-overs & Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,557 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 5/23/2021 - Published: 3/27/2019 - [Bell C., Hestia] [OC, Riveria A.]
Handsome Jack: The Hero? by Mad King Kevin reviews
Handsome Jack, the biggest villain of the series, having orchestrated everything from the first game, to still causing damage after having been dead for seven years. But right now, I'm him. So there's gonna need to be a few changes, if I'M gonna be the hero of the story. Handsome Jack, self insert.
Borderlands - Rated: M - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 23 - Words: 81,584 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 941 - Follows: 1,118 - Updated: 5/15/2021 - Published: 9/15/2020 - [Handsome Jack, Lilith] Angel
Liars by Dark Gothic Lolita reviews
Fake it till you make it. Rating may change
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 124,818 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 5/7/2021 - Published: 11/19/2020 - [Natsu D., Juvia L.] [Lucy H., Gray F.]
Et In Spiritum by LordTicky reviews
To take one look at Ash Ketchum's team you would think him some kind crook with all of the evil Pokémon that he has with him. Truth is, his Pokémon aren't evil, they just have a bad reputation! Join Ash on his Journey as he sets out to redeem the name of the 'evil' Pokémon of the world, starting with his starter, Ekans!
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 38,616 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 198 - Updated: 4/18/2021 - Published: 8/20/2018 - Ash K./Satoshi, Ekans/Arbo
Harry Potter, Unexpected Animagus by DWDuck reviews
With the love of a good woman, Harry becomes more confident and learns to handle the embarrassment that comes from being a teenage boy as well as an unexpected animagus. Set during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Severe Ron bashing ahead.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 70,928 - Reviews: 1477 - Favs: 5,191 - Follows: 6,299 - Updated: 4/12/2021 - Published: 2/26/2013 - Harry P., Hermione G.
Lunar Eclipse by Pseudonominal reviews
What if Harry had gone out to the lake after being announced triwizard champion? What if Luna had enough of her life that night? Suicidal!Luna, Godlevel!Harry. Starts without pairing, but will turn into Harry/Luna and probably progress into full on Lunar Harmony. Unbetaed for now!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,690 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 413 - Updated: 4/9/2021 - Published: 9/19/2019
Written in Reverse by JMenace reviews
Once the possibility of chakra migrating through time and space has been accepted, the soul is only a lunging step away. Two legendary lovers escape to the past in order to save themselves, each other, and maybe the world- if there's time. A story of transmigration, yandere tendencies, and far more spiritual incest than Naruto ever signed up for. (Time Travel) (Naru/fem!Sasu) (AU)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 74,574 - Reviews: 1559 - Favs: 6,117 - Follows: 6,299 - Updated: 4/8/2021 - Published: 11/12/2014 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.]
Reawakening by Rivan Warrioress reviews
The last thing he saw before his vision went dark completely was Luke, a single tear rolling down his face, and feeling so proud of the man his son had become. Then everything went dark. A voice whispered to Anakin, Qui Gon's voice, remembered clearly by Anakin even after all these years. "Would you change things?" "Yes." "Then May the Force be with you, Anakin Skywalker."
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 25,555 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 513 - Follows: 758 - Updated: 4/7/2021 - Published: 6/1/2020 - Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan K., Ahsoka T.
Silver by Imyoshi reviews
Forced to admit that Crocea Mors didn't feel right in his hands—no matter how he held it—Jaune Arc struggled to overcome this obstacle through the insane idea that Aura could become more than just the armor that protected him. Barriers broke as he pushed past the limits of what Aura was capable of, creating and forging his very own weapons from the manifestation of his soul.
RWBY - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 449,466 - Reviews: 3622 - Favs: 6,943 - Follows: 7,466 - Updated: 4/3/2021 - Published: 10/23/2015 - [L. Ren, Nora V.] Jaune A., Pyrrha N.
Siriusly Drunk About Girls by Stargon1 reviews
"Harry and Sirius end up drunk one night Christmas of fifth year. Harry ends up telling Sirius about the mortifying poem in his second year. Sirius guffaws after hearing Harry recite it and proclaims, 'I thought Hermione was better with words than that'" (full summary in chapter 1) - a Prompt Challenge from the H.M.S. Harmony discord channel. A five-chapter story (for now).
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 28,760 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 720 - Follows: 807 - Updated: 3/25/2021 - Published: 2/14/2021 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] Sirius B. - Complete
Godhood: For Dummies by intata reviews
Reborn as the twin brother to Peter Quill, Nathan goes his own way because, as awesome as the Marvel universe is, he wants to live his second chance to the fullest. He doesn't really have a plan, to be honest, but he knows where to start. [Rated M for language and violence. Citrus is undecided.] [Image by usr: 431101134]
Avengers - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 66,217 - Reviews: 1268 - Favs: 5,975 - Follows: 7,039 - Updated: 3/20/2021 - Published: 10/6/2018 - OC
Seals are Easy, People are Hard by slythefoxx2 reviews
Naruto's reaction to his isolation is different from canon. How will Konoha deal with a Seal Master Jinchuuriki with muted affect and a perverted streak a mile wide?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 131,970 - Reviews: 4397 - Favs: 14,719 - Follows: 16,658 - Updated: 3/19/2021 - Published: 8/29/2018 - Naruto U., Hiruzen S.
The Return Of The Prodigal Knight And The Phantom Menace by SSJ Lone Wolf reviews
AU. It was a known fact that when Qui-Gon Jinn was forced to land on Tatooine that he had discovered the Chosen One, the one that was foretold to bring balance to the Force and destroy the Sith. What if he had an older brother that like him was born through unconventional means? How would the galaxy handle the return of the Prodigal Knight, and what changes would he bring?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 10 - Words: 65,069 - Reviews: 477 - Favs: 1,524 - Follows: 1,915 - Updated: 3/18/2021 - Published: 12/29/2016 - [OC, Padmé Amidala] Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon J.
At War with Nature by SackDantOur reviews
I wasn't strong enough to protect Orario, and as a result the city crumbled and died, vanishing in a sea of flames, everyone I'd ever loved following soon after. I did gain the necessary strength eventually though, but by then it was far too late. So when an opportunity to go back and do it all again presented itself, I took it, and this time, strength would not be an issue.
Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 63,062 - Reviews: 356 - Favs: 1,475 - Follows: 1,943 - Updated: 3/9/2021 - Published: 4/23/2018 - Bell C., Hestia, Liliruka A.
Armoured Mage by mjimeyg reviews
How do you overdose on Luck Potion? Harry knows. What he doesn't know is what to do when it runs out. Harry's adventure with Luck Potion leaves him trapped. He finds allies in the highest of places and friends that people thought never could have existed. But at the end of the day, he's Harry Potter... trouble finds him... and he deals with it.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 261,924 - Reviews: 1713 - Favs: 3,915 - Follows: 4,041 - Updated: 3/8/2021 - Published: 2/22/2021
Substitute the Rabbit and bring in the Chaotic Spirit by Rylan The Prototype reviews
Welcome to the world of Gaia here we can see one Bell Cranel sadly passing away from a disease but don't worry the soul may have left the body but as quickly it did a new one had enter inside it to pilot the body. And in so new adventures and stories are waiting to be told. Who knows what may happen now. Rated M for strong language, blood, and lots of craziness that happens here.
Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 139,354 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 3/7/2021 - Published: 7/29/2020
Is It Wrong To Be Summoned Into Another World? by Tylertan reviews
A seemingly normal guy, who's recently fallen into Otaku-hood, experiences something not very normal at all-Being summoned into another world. PS. His skills are also rather OP. Actually, he's probably more overpowered than Bell with his insane growth. After all, he can copy skills. Though it does have some rather harsh limits. I do not own Danmachi. All rights go to Fujino Ōmori.
Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 13 - Words: 24,972 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 2/23/2021 - Published: 1/29/2021 - Bell C., OC
Dragon Chronicles 2: Harry Potter, Dragon Whisperer by Stargon1 reviews
Being a parselmouth, Harry is hired by all of the Dragon Sanctuaries. His new job: to travel the world, check on all the dragons, talk to them and learn about them. The dragons have also heard of Harry's talent - as an artist and they can be pushy about having their portrait painted. With dragons, magizoologists and shades of Dark Lords after him, Harry's life is anything but dull.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 71,254 - Reviews: 1318 - Favs: 4,549 - Follows: 6,307 - Updated: 2/18/2021 - Published: 6/5/2019 - Harry P., Sirius B., Charlie W., Daphne G.
Goblin Slayer: Self Insert by Hit1903 reviews
I somehow got reincarnated in Goblin Slayer World. At least I got born in the Royal family even if my father is sometimes a dick. Still, it's not all bad. Look out monsters here I come. I will definitely try to better this world by hook or crook. Self Indulgent. Self Insert (SI). Will contain harem later in the story. Lemons are also heavily featured.
Goblin Slayer/ゴブリンスレイヤー - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 29,248 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 729 - Follows: 968 - Updated: 2/14/2021 - Published: 4/6/2019
The Wandering Forest by CrowKrowQrow reviews
Self-Insert as a fruit powered Hashirama in One Piece 12 years before the beginning of the series. Mori-Mori no Mi (Forest-Forest Fruit) user. Amnesiac SI.
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 94,547 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 1,635 - Follows: 1,952 - Updated: 2/13/2021 - Published: 7/5/2020 - OC
Harry and Ahsoka: Tales of Force and Magic by Darth Illus reviews
Ahsoka has been kicked out of the Order. So she does what everyone does after loosing their job and ends up in a bar. There she'll meet a green eyed wizard that will change the course of the Force and the Future
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 18,719 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 1,320 - Follows: 2,106 - Updated: 2/13/2021 - Published: 5/5/2020 - Aayla S., Shaak Ti, Ahsoka T., Harry P.
Percy Jackson: Ascension by Samhildanach reviews
Percy opened his eyes, certain Kronos killed him. But he wasn't in the Throne Room, or in Hades. He was... back at Yancy Academy? Percy decides he won't waste this second chance at life. Who will he save, and who will he destroy? How much stronger will he be when he faces the Titan Lord once more? M for violence and language... at the moment. Slowburn Perzoë. Chapter 12 tone shift.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 140,554 - Reviews: 714 - Favs: 1,853 - Follows: 2,084 - Updated: 1/14/2021 - Published: 2/12/2017 - [Percy J., Zoë N.] OC
The Berserker by BetaMayhem reviews
Heroes, Villains, they have become staples in a society where only the people gifted with power can make a true difference. Quirks, throwing the world into precarious balance, became the center of this scale. Witness as a primal force, Anger, brings a new face into the mix. With a Villains Quirk, can this new face become a Hero? Does he even want to be one? Only time will tell.
My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 62,363 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 272 - Updated: 12/27/2020 - Published: 3/2/2019
Barefoot by Zaxaramas reviews
Harry has the ability to learn the history of any object he touches, whether he wants to or not.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 56 - Words: 157,477 - Reviews: 3371 - Favs: 12,053 - Follows: 14,166 - Updated: 12/22/2020 - Published: 7/7/2015 - Harry P., N. Tonks
The Forgotten Son by TheRanger1375 reviews
AU. Harry Potter is born July 31st 1977 to James and Lily Potter. Daniel Potter is born July 29th 1980 to James and Lily. On Halloween 1981 the Dark Lord goes to Godric's Hollow to kill the One with the Power to Vanquish him. Four year old Harry steps in front of Daniel's crib to protect him from the Killing Curse and changes both of their lives forever. Wrong BWL, Powerful!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 81,616 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 1,939 - Follows: 2,589 - Updated: 12/9/2020 - Published: 6/20/2019 - [Harry P., Fleur D., N. Tonks]
Common Sense by Stone Elbow reviews
An 8-year-old Naruto sneaks into the library and finds a thin little book titled "How To Be a Ninja", authored by his hero, the Yondaime. Everything in the book is just common sense: a trait that no one in the Elemental Countries seems to have. Four years later, a Kage-level shinobi becomes a genin...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 71,134 - Reviews: 2014 - Favs: 11,779 - Follows: 12,790 - Updated: 11/14/2020 - Published: 9/10/2017 - Naruto U., Minato N.
A Sith in Jedi Robes by Scififan33 reviews
Sith Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Darth Charon, wakes aboard a ship headed for Tatooine only to be called Padawan by a man he knows to be dead. Just what is the Force doing?
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,730 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 558 - Follows: 778 - Updated: 10/11/2020 - Published: 3/6/2015 - [Obi-Wan K., Padmé Amidala] Anakin Skywalker, Yoda
Whiskey Time Travel by Sapper One reviews
When Unspeakable Harry Potter wakes up in 1978, he determines he's either A: In the past. Or B: In a mental hospital. At least the firewhiskey still tastes the same. Waiting tables at the Three Broomsticks, drunken death eater bar fights, annoying an attractive but pushy auror, and avoiding his mother's crush on him is just another day in the life of Harry Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 32,948 - Reviews: 2098 - Favs: 12,403 - Follows: 15,382 - Updated: 6/26/2020 - Published: 5/7/2015 - Harry P., Amelia B., Rosmerta, Nicolas F.
Harry Potter and the Wand of Uru by realjoehundredaire reviews
After slipping diagonally through time and space to a familiar time in an unfamiliar world, Harry finds himself fighting to save a future that's not quite what he remembers. Crossover between Harry Potter and the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with pre-Fox acquisition X-Men elements and reimagined Inhumans. Polyamorous Harry.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,802 - Reviews: 1464 - Favs: 3,112 - Follows: 3,918 - Updated: 6/20/2020 - Published: 6/27/2008 - [Harry P., Tracey D.] Daphne G., Loki
Rider Reborn by DuncanIdaho2014 reviews
Eragon, through a trick of wild magic, finds himself returned to his 15-year-old body, with a newly hatched Saphira to care for and a war to win again. How will he handle the burden? What changes will he make to history? The future has been unwritten, and anything is possible.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 61,481 - Reviews: 524 - Favs: 2,155 - Follows: 2,553 - Updated: 3/28/2020 - Published: 10/19/2018 - Eragon S., Arya, Saphira, Brom
Stronghammer by Twubs reviews
A man from another world is thrown into the body of Roran before the events of the first book. He quickly realizes that sitting on the sidelines is not an option. SI!Roran
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 126,741 - Reviews: 615 - Favs: 1,373 - Follows: 1,087 - Updated: 3/6/2020 - Published: 6/10/2019 - Roran, OC - Complete
Chaotic Good by Mister Grin reviews
The story of a man who just really wishes death would let him be. He tried once. Lived a wonderful life, died at a ripe old age. Yet once more he lives in the body of a young child. Time has torn his life's work away, and his only skills are ones from a time long past. Lost, he stumbles upon a game he recognizes. He asks himself… why be a King when you can be a God? (Contains smut)
Overlord/オーバーロード - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 156,243 - Reviews: 1621 - Favs: 4,846 - Follows: 5,269 - Updated: 2/5/2020 - Published: 7/30/2019