MadManWithAHat
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Joined 12-05-16, id: 8530788, Profile Updated: 03-02-24

Gender: Male
Born in the year 2000

Hobbies: Blacksmithing, Leatherworking, Woodworking, Gardening, Cooking, Bee Keeping

Favorite Sports/Activities: Bouldering, Hiking, Canoeing, Kayaking, Camping

Favorite Movies: Jurassic Park, Star Wars

Favorite Anime: Naruto, Trigun, Dragon Ball (the original, not Z or Super)

Favorite Manga: Berserk (RIP Kentaro Mirura), One Piece

Favorite Books: Harry Potter, Rangers Apprentice

Favorite Video Games: Dark Souls, Bloodborne, Battleblock Theater, Borderlands 1 and 2, Pokemon Gens 1-4, Monster Hunter

I've put all this stuff in hopes to bring a smile to the face of those who take the time to read profiles.


Who Am I?

I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his friends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone. The First Kitsukage, Dragon of Time, Jarjaxle, The Patient One, Xomniac, MadManWithAHat


We're a Dying Breed

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait.”

To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.

To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.

To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.

To every guy who has given her flowers just because.

To every guy that said he would die for her.

To every guy that really would.

To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.

To every guy that she cried in front of.

To every guy that holds hands with her.

To every guy that kisses her with meaning.

To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.

To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.

To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.

To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.

To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.

To every guy that would give his seat up.

To every guy that just wants to cuddle.

To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.

To every guy who told his secrets to her.

To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.

To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.

To every guy that believed in her dreams.

To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.

To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.

To every guy that walked her to her car.

To every guy that gave his heart.

To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.

...This one bulletin is for you

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image. If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed "If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."


Kennedy and Lincoln


Have an American history teacher explain this… if they can.

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.

John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.

John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.

Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.

Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.

Both Presidents were shot in the head.

Now it gets really weird.

Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.

Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.

Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.

Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.

Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.

Both assassins were known by their three names.

Both names are composed of fifteen letters.

Lyndon and Andrew both have six letters.

Lincoln and Kennedy both have seven letters.

Hang on to your seat.

Lincoln was shot at the theater named 'Ford'.

Kennedy was shot in a car called 'Lincoln' made by 'Ford'.

Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse.

Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theatre.

Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.


Kids Are Quick


TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher


38 Things to do in an Elevator


1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.

7. Say "DING!" at each floor.

8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.

9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.

16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

21. Swat at flies that don't exist.

22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.

23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"

26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.

29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."

30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.

31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.

32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.

33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

34. Tell people that you can see their aura.

35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

38. If someone looks at you, scream, "I swear! I only meant to knock him out for a little bit!"


How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school or work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'


Funny Sayings


“If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.”

"If the opposite of pro is con, then does that mean the opposite of progress is congress?"

“I’m not worried about artificial intelligence taking over the world. I’m worried about real stupidity destroying the world."

“If we get lost can we go in triangles, not circles?"

“I have a life, I just choose not to use it.”

“I’m a pyrotechnician. If you see me running, try to keep up.”

“You, laugh at me, because I'm crazy, I laugh at you, because there's an invisible leprechaun on your shoulder!”

“Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering… WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?”

“Sanity? Why would I want something as useless as that?”

“Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!”

“Education is important, school however, is another matter.”

“Don't hate yourself in the morning--sleep till noon.”

“You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?”

“Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?”

“We are not retreating… we are advancing in another direction.”

“I’m right ninety-seven percent of the time. Who cares about the other four percent?”

“They say ‘Guns don't kill people, people kill people.’ Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.That depends on whether you’re in a nursing home or not.”

“If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

“Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!”

“If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.”

“Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door…”

“If at first you don't succeed, blame it on bad parenting.”

“Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.”

“Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.”

“Always forgive your enemies--Nothing annoys them more.”

“Don’t mess with me; I've got a stick.”

“There are three kinds of people in the world; people who can count; and people who can’t.”

“Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.”

“I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.”

“I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.”

“You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.”

“Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.”

“When life throws you lemons, cut ’em open and squirt the juice in its eye.”

When life throws you lemons, throw a brick back.”

“When life throws you lemons, make apple juice and let the world wonder how you did it.”

“When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but it only takes 2 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them."

“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”

"Never say 'Things couldn't get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."

"The light at the end of the tunnel is the train coming."

"Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head."

"I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over her again."

“Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45."

"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you’ve been good this year… he died laughing."

"Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls."

"If you wish on a falling star it might come true...unless it's a meteor hurtling to earth...then no wishes come true...unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurtling to earth."

“There’s a dark cloud over my head, so I’m praying; ‘Lord, please don’t send lightning.’"

“It’s not dead till you poke it with a stick.”

“Fire is a good servant, but a terrible master.”

“There are too many wishes, and not enough stars.”

“Facebook is like a refrigerator. You check it when you’re bored but nothing ever changes.”

"Gotta go. I’m not really going anywhere, but neither is this conversation.”

“I do know, I just don’t feel like telling you!”

“Santa Claus is a creeper. He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, he knows if you’ve been bad or good, he comes down your chimney in the middle of the night with a giant sack of toys--see what I mean?”

“I have six locks on my door. Whenever I go out I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they’re always locking three.”

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”

“It's always darkest before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.”

“He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.”

“A great name for a new country song: If I'd Shot You Sooner, I'd Be Out of Jail by Now.”

“Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.”

“I learned law so well. The day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.”

“Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.”

“Who says nothing is impossible. I've been doing nothing for years.”

“If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?”

“If you're going through hell, keep going.”

“To the world, you are one person. But to one person, you are the world.”

“Would you like a side of epic with that fail?”

“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.”

“Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn’t find anyone to copy it from.”

“When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”

“There are worse things than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

“There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.”

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.”

“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”

“Knowing is half the battle. The other half is punching someone in the face.”

“I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.”

“I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.”

“Most people are only alive because it’s illegal to shoot them.”

“Some say the glass is half empty; some say the glass is half full. I say, “are you gonna drink that?”

“All people have the right to stupidity. Some abuse the privilege.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?”

“They say no one is perfect. Well, I’m no one.”

“Do not drink and drive--you might spill the drink.”

“When life gives you lemons say “screw you” and go find an orange.”

“Never argue with an idiot. They’ll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.”

“A word to the wide isn’t necessary--it’s the stupid people that need the advice.”

“Alright everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.”

“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, that way, when you yell, the name will carry.”

“Between two evils, I always pick the one I haven’t tried before.”

“Cross country skiing is great if you have a small counrty.”

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet.”

“Get your facts straight, then distort them as you please.”

“Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?”

“How many people have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.”

“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”

“I wear a necklace ‘cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.”

“I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started with twenty-eight years ago.”

"I don’t forgive people because im weak. I forgive people because I’m strong enough to realize that everyone makes mistakes."

"By the power vested in me, I now pronouce you deleted and blocked! You may now kiss my ass!"

"If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question."

"You think I’m screwed up? You should meet the rest of my family!"

"Money can’t buy you happiness, but somehow crying in a Porche is a lot more comforting than crying on a bicycle."

"Help a man when he is in trouble, and he will remember you next time he is in trouble."

“Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but neither does milk."

"Three out of two people have trouble with fractions."

"Best friends. We’re the kind of people who laugh at a joke three times. The first time, when it’s told. The second, when someone explains it. The third, five minutes later when we actually get it."

"We’re not sarcastic - We’re hilarious. We’re not annoying - We’re just cooler than you. We’re not mean - We just don’t like you. And we’re not obsessed - We’re just best friends."

"I’ll always be beside you, until the very end, wiping all your tears away, and being your best friend. I’ll smile when you smile and feel all the pain you do, and if you cry a single tear, I promise I’ll cry too."

"Friends help you with your crack addiction. Best friends are the ones who sold it to you."

"Friends knock on your door and call your parents Mrs. and Mr. Good friends simply open the door and call your parents Mom and Dad. Best friends show up in your room with no warning whatsoever.”

"Got acne? Just ask your girlfriend what to do. Oh, that’s right! You don’t have a girlfriend!”

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police.”

"The world is going to hell, and I am driving the bus.”

"Three a.m. phone call. 'Hey are you sleeping…?' '“No. I’m skydiving.’ "

"I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug.”

"If you can’t convince them, confuse them.”

"If Google didn't exist, we’d all be screwed.”

"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns left.”

"Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.”

"Having children is hereditary. If your parents never had children, odds are you won’t either.”

"Remember. There’s no I in ‘Team.’ (But there is an M and an E)”

"A classic is a book that is much praised, but rarely read.”

"We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.”

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.”

"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.”

"How is it one careless match to start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?”

"I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”

"It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.”

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.”

"I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." -Mr. Garrison, South Park.

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I’m going to mop the floor with you’re face.' I said, 'You’ll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.’ "

"After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF!”

"What’s the difference between a northern fairy-tale and a southern fairy-tale? A northern fairy-tale begins 'Once upon a time…' A southern fairy-tale begins 'Ya’ll ain't gonna believe this shit…’ "

"Haiku's are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.”

"Déjà vu - When you think you’re doing something you’ve done before, it’s because God thought it was so funny, he had to rewind it for his friends.”

"There are three kinds of people: The ones who learn by reading. The ones who learn by observation. And the rest of them who have to touch fire to learn that it’s hot.”

"What if there were no hypothetical questions?”

"Only in America… Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.”

"They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.”

"People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.”

"What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.”

"How do you get a sweet, little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet, little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!”

"I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole more as they get older. Then it dawned on me… they were cramming for their finals.”

"Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.”

"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Five tequila, six tequila, seven tequila, door.”

"Why is it in the U.S.: If you take off all your clothes and walk down the street waving a machete and firing a Uzi, terrified citizens will phone the police and report: 'There’s a naked person outside!’ ”

"English people have different ways of saying things. We say 'elevator' they say 'lift.' We say 'president' they say 'stupid psychopathic git.' "

"This is AMAZING! Why is it free?!”

“I was wondering why I had to catch the ball, then it hit me"

"A thousand memories I took for granted, always assuming there would be a thousand more"


If you need a smile on your face read these...

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.

Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

I've got ADHD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Oh, I'm so sorry! I forgot that you're an idiot!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a girlfriend/boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends grab those knives and stab those bastards back for you.

A good friend is someone who thinks you are a good egg even though he knows you're slightly cracked- Bernard Meltzer

Friends are relatives you make for yourself- Gustache Deschamps

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. Amateurs 1- Pro 0.

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

I only know how to do things three ways: the right way, the wrong way, and my way... which is the wrong way only faster.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Though we were quite surprised Stupidity was able to do it.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things--alone.


15 Great Sayings

1.Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear

bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a punishment for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by
those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of
twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.


Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.


i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile


This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat.

Okay now go back and read the THIRD WORD in each sentence and I promise you won't be able to resist to put this on your profile.


The Situation in Hell

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A*."


Girls

are like

apples on trees.

The best ones are

at the top of the tree

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just Get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree.


Random Questions

If the sky's the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated movies allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Even Walt Disney, his creator was scared of mice.
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when we talk to God when we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
Why do people say ,"you can't have your cake and eat it too" when no one would have a cake if they can't eat it?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
What was the person doing to the cow(or goat) when they discovered milk?


Random Sarcastic Junk.

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Some people are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Some people are like slinkies. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

When someone pisses you off, it takes 42 muscles to frown, and only 4 to extend your arms to beat the crap out of them

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do, kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that! If you leave some flaming crap, kudos to you!

My knight in shining armour turned out to be a loser in aluminium foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

It's just strange how the evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my water."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. Many wondered how Stupidity was able to frame Curiosity. He wasn't called 'Stupidity' for no reason

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

-Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dastardly Desires by flameclawsxx reviews
So, waking up in a bathtub covered in blood wasn't fun. Ah well, the previous owner of this body didn't take care of itself, so I guess that falls to me. Luckily I've been granted insane Genetic Alteration knowledge! hurray! the main issue is making enough capital to use them. Ah well, I'll figure that out later... GO! AGUMON! (Villainous Ventures Re-Write)(Item Shop Power)(Si-Oc)
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 18 - Words: 76,910 - Reviews: 472 - Favs: 1,857 - Follows: 2,224 - Updated: 4h - Published: 2/11 - Courtney/Kagari, OC
War Profiter-SI by ayab reviews
The rebellion needs help, so does the empire. They all share the same needs to achieve their objectives: guns, food, communications, and ships. Why not provide them with everything you have and profit from it? Besides, regardless of the outcome, victory from either side ensures your success.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,337 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 21h - Published: 4/18 - OC, Galen E., M. Mothma, M. Veers
Breathe by Kir C reviews
Getting a second chance is something many people wish for and something that I got. If only I'd been more specific about where I ended up, at the rate this world is going, I'm going to need a third chance soon. Gamer Lite, self insert, SI.
RWBY - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 58,607 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 476 - Follows: 659 - Updated: 7/21 - Published: 4/28 - [OC, Pyrrha N., Winter S.] M. Calavera
The Son of Storms by PerseusPeverell092 reviews
Vowing vengeance on the god who tricked his mother, a demigod must prove himself and learn to walk the path laid out before him...while dealing with the woes and worries of humanity and Gods alike
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 58,668 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 1,143 - Follows: 1,561 - Updated: 7/21 - Published: 7/18/2022 - Harry P., Percy J., Poseidon, Zeus
To Undo it All by Grimlock Bragi reviews
After the Blood War, nothing was left. Yhwach was dead, but Ichigo failed to get strong enough fast enough to protect those he cared about. In desperation, Kisuke created a way for Ichigo to have a second chance to save everyone. To Undo it All. Time Travel fic! Now Cross-Posted on AO3!
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 285,733 - Reviews: 837 - Favs: 3,797 - Follows: 4,169 - Updated: 7/21 - Published: 1/2/2019 - Ichigo K., Yoruichi S., R. Unohana, Zangetsu
Harry Potter and the Artificer Legacy by Kairomaru reviews
Everyone knows the story, the Potters attacked and little Harry left with his relatives. But what happens when the last Potter stumbles upon something left behind? What does someone with no preconceived notions about Magic do when they find out that it's real? Do they follow along just like everyone else? Or do they find their own path? Harry Potter did always like to make things!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 74 - Words: 410,808 - Reviews: 5230 - Favs: 14,640 - Follows: 17,247 - Updated: 7/20 - Published: 11/18/2019 - [Harry P., N. Tonks, Penelope C., Fleur D.]
Bonded by JustBored21 reviews
Harry Potter gained a new friend just before the start of his third year at school, how will his story change when a symbiote has been added to the mix? Harry Potter/Venom crossover. Dark/Grey Harry. Pairing: Harry/Tonks/Fleur.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Venom - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 153,242 - Reviews: 3420 - Favs: 7,995 - Follows: 9,543 - Updated: 7/19 - Published: 1/19/2022 - Harry P., Fleur D., N. Tonks
Pushing Through the Limit by Kir C reviews
Waking up as the protagonist in a fantasy world is great right? I mean, you get awesome powers, there are epic fights, monstrous villains… unstable peace… wars… Oh god, why couldn't I wake up as an unimportant side character instead? Self Insert SI
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 145,475 - Reviews: 583 - Favs: 1,782 - Follows: 2,276 - Updated: 7/19 - Published: 2/26 - Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Souls Hero Academia (Rewrite) by IAmGuavaFruit reviews
Izuku Midoriya always wanted to be a hero. His quirklessness was the only obstacle, but when society deemed him useless and a waste of space, there is only so much a person could take. Feeling despair eat at him from the inside, Izuku didn't notice where he was when a rumble shoved him off the rooftop. He survived, but not in the way he expected. (I don't own Dark Souls, nor MHA)
Crossover - Dark Souls & My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 33 - Words: 71,963 - Reviews: 300 - Favs: 650 - Follows: 872 - Updated: 7/18 - Published: 6/8/2023 - Izuku M., 1-A Students
Facing Bad Tropes with Naruko-chan by SocialistBukharin reviews
A SI wakes up in an AU of Naruto where all worst tropes exist. And he adopts a Neglected!Naruko in an effort to survive the tragedgy nature of this Alternative Universe. Still, prepare to revive the worst of your Naruto Fandom experiences as some of the worst tropes are brought back to life after almost a decade of being defunct (Yes, I have a list, and yes I remember them all)!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 42,309 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 968 - Follows: 1,198 - Updated: 7/16 - Published: 2/24 - Kyuubi/Kurama, Naruko U., OC
Harry Potter and the Boy From Tatooine by FavoriteAuthor reviews
As a reward for saving the wizarding world, Harry has the fate of an entirely new galaxy placed on his shoulders. A galaxy ... far, far away. Can Harry save the Jedi or will he chose power and doom the galaxy ...? Fix-It, Meet-Cute, Character Study, Mind Control
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 72,851 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 1,402 - Follows: 2,052 - Updated: 7/14 - Published: 9/17/2023 - [Harry P., Padmé Amidala] Anakin Skywalker, Ahsoka T.
Emissary by grumpywolf reviews
A dimension hopper Harry Potter who gets sent to various worlds to kill those who made it on Death's shit list. This is his seventh world. The seventh and the last time (he hopes) working as Death's Champion, as their Emissary. Powerful Harry Potter. Harry Potter/Power Girl pairing. Read the first author's note before diving into the fic.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Justice League - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 116,295 - Reviews: 1120 - Favs: 3,285 - Follows: 4,398 - Updated: 7/11 - Published: 12/28/2023 - [Harry P., Karen Starr/Kara Zor-L/Power Girl]
Ascension by PerseusPeverell092 reviews
Samhain 1981, the Dark Lord attacked two families. In shambles, one family rose to heights in the aftermath as Neville Longbottom was heralded the Savior, the other damned to the lowest depths as the Potter twins were left to their aunt's care. When they come back after a decade, not everything is as it seems as enemies lurk around every corner... Twincest ,Dark, multi pairing
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery - Chapters: 23 - Words: 106,573 - Reviews: 395 - Favs: 2,548 - Follows: 3,550 - Updated: 7/11 - Published: 4/6/2021 - [Harry P., OC, Daphne G., Fleur D.]
Harry Potter, Squatter by Enterprise1701-d reviews
Based on a challenge by Gabriel Herrol. A young Harry Potter is abandoned in new York by the Dursleys. He finds his way onto Olympus and starts squatting in an abandoned temple...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 79 - Words: 700,968 - Reviews: 14374 - Favs: 21,833 - Follows: 24,276 - Updated: 7/10 - Published: 5/1/2019 - Harry P., Hestia
A New Player in the Force: The Reforged Path by USSExplorer reviews
Book 3 of the ANP series. After the tumultuous events on Naboo, Cam takes his newly-adopted son Anakin on a journey of discovery and re-training. As the timeline spirals further and further into the unknown, they plan and prepare for the battles to come, both on and off the fields of War.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 98,303 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 2,150 - Follows: 2,538 - Updated: 7/10 - Published: 3/24 - Anakin Skywalker, Count Dooku, OC
Guardian of the Soul: Infinity Saga by HPfanfictioner66 reviews
His Benefactor? A super powerful cosmic being. His job? To guard a stone that controls an essential aspect of existence. His name? Harry James Potter. After Harry's demise at the hands of Voldemort, he gets a chance at a new life in a new universe. But there's always a catch. Will Harry save the world or will he die trying… again?
Crossover - Harry Potter & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 104,652 - Reviews: 626 - Favs: 3,496 - Follows: 4,807 - Updated: 7/9 - Published: 1/15/2023 - Harry P., Iron Man/Tony S., Ancient One
The Fox and the Hare by grumpywolf reviews
It wasn't Bakugo who the Sludge Villain tried to possess. It was Naruto. As he was suffocating, on the verge of losing his life, a torrent of memories not of his own flooded his mind. Memories of another him, from another world, from another life. Naruto/Mirko pairing. No harem. Naruto reborn in MHA with a Fox Quirk. No chakra.
Crossover - Naruto & My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 48 - Words: 205,005 - Reviews: 3126 - Favs: 5,870 - Follows: 6,763 - Updated: 7/6 - Published: 4/6/2022 - [Naruto U., Rumi U./Mirko] Izuku M.
Delenda Est -- Rebooted by Lord Silvere reviews
Dying, Bellatrix uses her heirloom to send Harry to the past. There, he can try stopping Voldemort while making the acquaintance of a young and impressionable Bellatrix Black, who may opt to serve Lord Black instead of Voldemort. H/B. Rewrite of DE with different plot, some new characters. No need to read original. Backwards compatible with PB.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 170,521 - Reviews: 917 - Favs: 2,767 - Follows: 3,876 - Updated: 7/3 - Published: 5/1/2022 - Harry P., Bellatrix L.
Casting a Shadow by StevenTLawson reviews
Harry is struck down in his sleep by someone he least expected, he wakes up in the afterlife and is shown how without his presence as a beacon for others to flock to, things didn't get better. But he's being given a chance to do it over again but can he separate what he knows they did from what they might not do now. Or will Harry simply fall into the darkness.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 27,038 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 370 - Follows: 597 - Updated: 7/3 - Published: 4/3 - Harry P., Sirius B., Fleur D., N. Tonks
Fairy Tail: Fifteen Strong by TheRagFromTheCrag reviews
Reborn into Fairy Tail, Guiliano Augiliar is a S-Class Mage and Dragon Slayer from Cait Shelter who voluntarily leaves the Nirvana Guild for Fairy Tail. Join him as he grapples with the pain of being the oldest Dragon Slayer Alive and forced to become honest with himself and everyone else about exactly who he is, what is, and what he represents. He is...A Dragon Demigod
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,098 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 7/2 - Published: 6/12 - [OC, Mirajane S.] Ignia, Mercuphobia
Thunderous Soul by Primordial Vortex reviews
Kurosaki Ichigo was a normal boy. Well, normal if you ignored the gangs trying to constantly beat him up, the ghosts that just would NOT leave him alone, and the God that lived in his soul and kept throwing a giant hammer at his face when he wasn't giving him mead. Heavy AU. harem. Different Zanpakutos.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 83,418 - Reviews: 477 - Favs: 2,617 - Follows: 2,896 - Updated: 6/30 - Published: 12/7/2022 - Ichigo K.
Reborn in bleach as a hollow with a system by prognastat reviews
Dave reincarnated in the world of Bleach without knowing it until he is turned into a Hollow by White and unlocks a Hollow System. Follow him as he adjusts to his new un-life. Support me on Patreon/Subscribestar for advance chapters or to see my other work. Patreon/prognastat or Subscribestar/prognastat
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 110 - Words: 118,282 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 499 - Follows: 599 - Updated: 6/27 - Published: 11/22/2023 - Neliel T. O./Nel, T. Harribel, Apacci, OC
The Reaver's Legacy by TheBlack'sResurgence reviews
Upon receiving the invisibility cloak, Harry quickly realises that this is no normal artefact. It shows him glimpses of the lives of those that have owned it before him, of a world that existed long before the one he had been born into, and withthe guidance of the cloak, he is hopeful that it will not be him that falls victim to the fickle mistress that is fate...
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 38,808 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 1,192 - Follows: 1,689 - Updated: 6/26 - Published: 5/25 - Harry P., OC, Ignotus P.
My Hero Academia: Unchained Predator by reeleffendeel reviews
Following the conclusion of DOOM 2016, the Doomslayer is warped into a world of Heroes and Villains. But when the Demons invade the alternate world, the Slayer's crusade against Hell will lead him to different worlds and revelations alongside newfound allies...and their guardian Angels. (Doom x MHA x Darksiders)
Crossover - Doom & My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 235,898 - Reviews: 6393 - Favs: 5,423 - Follows: 6,072 - Updated: 6/20 - Published: 4/10/2020 - [Doomguy, Rumi U./Mirko] Izuku M., Toshinori Y./All Might
Lay Down In Potter's Field by Ebenbild reviews
"Every Potter who died on a Potter's Field always returned to the living." The dead are watching. The dead have always been watching. And when their Master jumps through time back to his fourth year and is promptly killed, they answer his call. Time travel! MoD!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 7 - Words: 50,755 - Reviews: 634 - Favs: 2,155 - Follows: 2,726 - Updated: 6/20 - Published: 5/20/2020 - Harry P., Cedric D., Tom R. Sr., Percival G.
The Enlightened One by Kakukami reviews
Lei Kazumi is a unimportant orphan child living an ordinary life. However in reality, his life is anything but ordinary. After all, his body isn't truly his...well now it is. Follow Lei as he traverses shinobi life with his friends and comrades, all while trying his best to grow strong enough to deal with the looming threat that is Madara Uchiha. (SenjuSI) (Fem Naruto and Sasuke)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 63 - Words: 191,222 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 1,404 - Follows: 1,625 - Updated: 6/18 - Published: 10/21/2023 - Hinata H., Naruko U., OC
Go Away I'm Watching Porn by Third Fang reviews
Issei Hyoudou is the Sekiryutei. Not many people knew how powerful he is, or what he's done. And he's perfectly fine with that. He's done with people. All he wants to do is sit back, relax, and watch porn without being bothered by school or homework or devils or fallen angels or annoying conspiracies and why the hell won't they just leave him alone already! Perv OP Issei Harem.
High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D - Rated: M - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 28 - Words: 474,195 - Reviews: 3731 - Favs: 7,903 - Follows: 8,692 - Updated: 6/14 - Published: 1/22/2017 - H. Issei
I am Gohan by LordPhenex reviews
A young man dies after graduating as an engineer from a prestigious university. But suddenly, he wakes up in the body of the son of the protagonist of Dragon Ball, now he's Son Gohan! What changes will that bring to the original story? English is not my first language, so there will be some misspellings. In advance, apologies.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 90 - Words: 159,785 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 798 - Follows: 906 - Updated: 6/14 - Published: 7/30/2022 - OC, Gohan, Goku, Vegeta
Star Wars: The New Game by MiyazakiFan18 reviews
Luke Skywalker always longed for greatness, for something more than what he had on his uncle's farm. Except his dream started from a much earlier age, and it was realized much sooner too. Luke and his mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi will do whatever it takes to keep the galaxy safe from harm, and to protect it from the evil Empire. Gamer!Luke, potentially OP Luke, legends/EU.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 41,944 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 239 - Follows: 280 - Updated: 6/13 - Published: 5/18 - Luke S., Obi-Wan K.
Star Wars: That One Word - Ordo by TheRagFromTheCrag reviews
Kellian Ordo... Human Male. 17 Year's Old. Jedi Master. Kellian Ordo is powerful in the force, a reincarcerated being, and the former Padawan of Mace Windu.. Kellian dreams of helping much of the Jedi Order survive Order 66, thus he resolves to win victory after victory in the Clone Wars. More than that, he's a bit of a maverick, on account of being raised Mando
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 10 - Words: 50,885 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 6/12 - Published: 12/29/2023 - [Ahsoka T., OC] Mara Jade, Sariss
Silver King by JustBored21 reviews
Harry Potter's life was not a very good one, but then one day that all changed, one day he found a snake in his cupboard. Slytherin Harry, dark/grey. There will be bashing. HarryxDaphne/Tracey/OC pairing.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 110 - Words: 357,614 - Reviews: 8540 - Favs: 11,700 - Follows: 13,173 - Updated: 6/12 - Published: 9/3/2020
Harry Potter and All the Skywalker Chicks by samjordon08 reviews
Padmé Amidala was experiencing the worst part of her reign as Queen of Naboo. Meanwhile, three women mysteriously appear, unsure of how they got there and a boy who wants to find his Godfather falls from the sky.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 126,990 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 1,086 - Follows: 1,519 - Updated: 6/7 - Published: 3/22/2023 - [Harry P., Leia O., Padmé Amidala, Rey]
The Sith Gamer by GoodguysRoverated reviews
A juvenile nihilist is reborn in Star Wars with a system that allows him to upgrade his abilities by earning points. Will he save the galaxy? Nope. He decides to treat the galaxy as his own personal playground, make a mess of the Clone Wars, troll the Republic, and be as annoying as possible to both the Jedi and Sidious. After all, if nothing matters, why not do whatever you want?
Star Wars - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 60,666 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 1,075 - Follows: 1,297 - Updated: 6/6 - Published: 1/10 - OC
Supernova by Primordial Vortex reviews
Luffy's adventures took a much different start. It wasn't the Gomu Gomu fruit that Shanks and his crew brought to that sleepy town, and the consequences will reverberate throughout the Grand Line! With the power of the Sun in his hands, the Mugiwara Crew will take on the world! Different-DF-Luffy! Expanded crew. Polyamory. No Yaoi.
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 311,442 - Reviews: 2028 - Favs: 8,795 - Follows: 9,257 - Updated: 5/31 - Published: 10/19/2015 - [Luffy, Nami, Vivi, Robin]
Sirius Gets Serious by StevenTLawson reviews
Sirius Black knew he failed his godson once, but talking to Harry in the fireplace after his name came out of the Goblet of Fire, he knew that he couldn't just sit back and hope everything worked out. He had to do something so drastic and so out of character it would shock the world. He needed to get serious.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,020 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 976 - Follows: 1,404 - Updated: 5/19 - Published: 1/10 - [Harry P., N. Tonks] Sirius B., Andromeda T.
Friendly Neighborhood Wizard by sakurademonalchemist reviews
He really should have known Potter Luck would follow him, even after being reincarnated. How else could you explain him surviving a radioactive spider bite, being thrown into the mess created by the Avengers, AND having to deal with high school teenagers? Some days it didn't pay to be Peter Parker.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Spider-Man: No Way Home - Rated: M - English - Family/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,882 - Reviews: 617 - Favs: 2,260 - Follows: 2,480 - Updated: 5/6 - Published: 3/31 - Harry P., Peter Parker/Spider-Man
Pokemon Efficient Master (EM) by Basso2142 reviews
Emmet (OC) has just experienced having the soul of an interloper try to take over his body. Lucky for him, he won and ended up absorbing both a set of memories and a cheat power called Efficiency Mastery. There is just one tiny problem. How the hell can he live knowing the world's fate is at the hands of Ash Ketchum? Starts in Kanto, contemporary to Ash, Violence, eventual OP
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 135,217 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 1,045 - Follows: 1,297 - Updated: 5/4 - Published: 9/10/2023 - Leaf, Charmander/Hitokage, OC
Rebirth of the strongest Magician by TBM10 reviews
Link Morani is the acknowledged most powerful mage in Firuman. Revered and feared by all. However, that is about to change all because he was caught in a magical accident. Watch as he integrates himself in the Harry Potter world, and cause ripples around him. Male!Insert!Hermione. Very powerful Link. strong!Fem!Harry. Link x Fem!Harry
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 37 - Words: 174,226 - Reviews: 598 - Favs: 1,779 - Follows: 2,182 - Updated: 5/3 - Published: 8/4/2020 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] OC
That Time I Got Flung Across Worlds & Fell on my Big Tiddy Redhead GF by Primordial Vortex reviews
What happens when an aspiring hero student with a reality bending Quirk and a megalomaniac, sore loser of a "Demon Lord" with a thousand Quirks walk into the same hospital? A whole lot of explosions, craters, and a quick, unwanted trip across the multiverse. MHA/DxD crossover, with some One Piece for flavor. Not a full three-way cross. Izuku/Polycule
Crossover - High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D & My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 39,619 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 974 - Follows: 1,117 - Updated: 4/30 - Published: 3/31 - [Izuku M., Rias G.] H. Akeno, Lavinia R.
Memories of a broken soul by arelia22 reviews
Time is a weird thing; it can sometimes bring relief and hope, but there are times that it only brings dread. For him, time was as much of a curse as it was a blessing; he had time to grow strong and protect, but the memories of those times could become to much of a burden with all the time he had. [Time-travel]
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 29 - Words: 151,509 - Reviews: 950 - Favs: 2,926 - Follows: 3,306 - Updated: 4/28 - Published: 8/12/2014 - Ichigo K.
Systematic Shinobi by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Waking up in the body of a standard Genin, a village invasion on the horizon and a count down until to a full out apocalypse only a few years away, what's a lad to do? There was only one thing he could do, cheat. Thankfully, this game system that instigated all of this in the first place, was quite helpful in that regard. Gamer Insert.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 59 - Words: 314,638 - Reviews: 6124 - Favs: 12,002 - Follows: 13,564 - Updated: 4/28 - Published: 4/25/2022 - Naruto U., Tenten, Sanbi/Isobu, OC
The Last of his Kind by Greed720 reviews
He'd been in a brutal, life and death battle. A foe that was so far beyond him that it was a miracle he had survived, let alone wounded it. However, despite his many feats, and the skills and abilities, he had honed and developed; he was unable to triumph over his destined enemy! Or at least not yet, his surroundings might have changed, but his adventure was not finished, not yet!
Crossover - Elder Scroll series & Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 123,985 - Reviews: 1158 - Favs: 4,959 - Follows: 5,929 - Updated: 4/26 - Published: 9/2/2019 - Dragonborn/Dovahkiin
This Bites! by Xomniac reviews
Sea Kings, sea-sickness, sunburns, a 95% genocidal Navy and more than a million and one other assorted ways to die. It's official: Being inserted into an anime sucks ass... Buuut I guess it could be worse. I mean, look on the bright side: At least I'm sailing with the future king of the pirates. (Self-Insert) [COMPLETE... FOR NOW]
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 99 - Words: 2,002,288 - Reviews: 9964 - Favs: 11,086 - Follows: 10,292 - Updated: 4/17 - Published: 9/19/2015 - Luffy, Tashigi, OC - Complete
Of Growing Strong by The Son of Wanderer reviews
After the Tower of Heaven, Natsu is unable to sleep with a clear conscience. He quickly becomes dissatisfied with his station in life, and decides to do something about it. NatZa. Stronger/Smarter Natsu.
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Spiritual/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 37,761 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 314 - Updated: 4/12 - Published: 12/14/2023 - [Natsu D., Erza S.] Makarov D., Laxus D.
Systematic Shinobi: Multiverse Mayhem by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Daiki Yurei was just trying to reverse engineer the Flying Thunder God technique, nothing really beyond his capabilities. Then a fly landed on the seal he was in the middle of preparing and now he was lost within the multiverse. "Why did I have to get stuck with the insane Jinchuuriki?" Isobu bemoaned his fate. Gamer. Insert.
Crossover - X-overs & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 104,113 - Reviews: 1054 - Favs: 3,107 - Follows: 3,443 - Updated: 4/11 - Published: 9/12/2023 - Sanbi/Isobu, OC
Endeavor's Number One Fan by TrainmanZero reviews
A self-insert into Izuku's generation, because really, did you expect originality from me? Featuring copious amounts of Yu-Gi-Oh! references (seriously, why isn't there a GX & BNHA crossover yet?) and trolling. Not to mention a great love for classic literature too! After all, like The Three (read, FOUR) Musketeers once promised, "All for one and one for all!"
My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,479 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 4/2 - Published: 3/10 - OC, Enji T./Endeavor
Master of Wood, Water and Hill by Karmic Acumen reviews
Bilbo Baggins wondered what Gandalf was thinking. Oh well, Bag End would sort him out. His house did NOT approve of vandalism, thank you very much. That rune carved into his door learned it personally. Besides, it served the wizard right for not heeding the rumors about Bilbo and the Old Forest.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 106,976 - Reviews: 562 - Favs: 2,880 - Follows: 2,648 - Updated: 3/25 - Published: 2/9/2014 - Bilbo B., Thorin, Kíli, Fíli
Issei - The Gaming Gear by SeerKing reviews
Getting the [Boosted Gear] is expected for Issei. What if he gained it a month early and another one as well? Let the Games Begin... IsseiXHarem (if it wasn't, it wouldn't be DXD). Now has a TVTropes page!
High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 22 - Words: 203,684 - Reviews: 2965 - Favs: 10,478 - Follows: 12,146 - Updated: 3/13 - Published: 3/26/2016 - H. Issei
Loving Good by StevenTLawson reviews
Harry tried to find something to fill up some time, instead he filled a hole he didn't know he had. Now a cute little girl has been added to his low, how does this change Harry, how will he put every skill and talent he possesses into stepping up to his new responsibilities. What exactly does a Crumple-Horned Snorkack do?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 35,077 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 1,305 - Follows: 1,577 - Updated: 3/10 - Published: 7/8/2020 - [Harry P., Luna L.]
To Go Even Further Beyond! by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Once upon time I was a normal guy. Now, I am Kakarot, the clone of Son Goku created by Kami. There isn't much time, but I'll use it wisely, and go even further beyond. Self Insert.
Dragon Ball Z - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 30 - Words: 140,768 - Reviews: 1027 - Favs: 3,736 - Follows: 4,116 - Updated: 3/8 - Published: 3/8/2022 - Bulma, Guru, OC
My Sunflower by Kiwi The Kaiju reviews
Yamanaka Ino knew nothing about her classmate, Uzumaki Naruto. She had always assumed he was a good for nothing trouble maker with no apparent future. However, her curiosity gets the better of her and leads to a ramen eating competition, the catalyst of their friendship and subsequent future together. Naruto x Ino, possible Karin as well.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 58,820 - Reviews: 498 - Favs: 2,187 - Follows: 2,804 - Updated: 3/7 - Published: 1/24/2023 - [Naruto U., Ino Y.] Karin U.
Is It Wrong To Devour monsters In The Dungeon? by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Waking up in the middle of a monster infested dungeon? Not fun. Only one thing to do, rip and tear. At least there's a busty short stack goddess willing to lend a hand. (Self-Insert) (Blue-Mage-Based-Power)
Dungeon ni Deai o Motomeru no wa Machigatte Iru Darou ka - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 85,498 - Reviews: 1124 - Favs: 5,249 - Follows: 6,059 - Updated: 3/6 - Published: 12/31/2022 - Hestia, OC, Artemis, Liliruca A.
A Different Stockpile by Tactition101 reviews
Izuku had a Stockpiling Quirk Long before All Might ever laid eyes on him. It's just too bad no one his age or their teachers believed him when he first tried to tell them. Oh well, not his fault when they look like idiots when he debuts as a Hero.
My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 49,696 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 1,070 - Follows: 1,200 - Updated: 2/19 - Published: 11/13/2022
Systematic Huntsman by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Daiki Yurei, huntsman extraordinaire, or, at least he aspired to be before having an unfortunate run in with a bull horned terrorist. Now, suddenly, the clock is ticking and the apocalypse approaches, and the fates of human and faunus alike as species' hangs in the balance. Gamer Insert.
RWBY - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,904 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 1,872 - Follows: 2,247 - Updated: 2/8 - Published: 4/9/2023 - Ruby R., OC, Emerald S., Neo
Seaside System by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Stranded in a world not his own, in a body not his own, Kaden finds himself stuck as a low rank marine in treacherous waters in the middle of an ocean where only the strongest can survive and a count down until a war that would shake the oceans and the very world itself erupts, where the kings of the sea will devour the chum. Gamer System. Insert.
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 71,685 - Reviews: 1051 - Favs: 3,892 - Follows: 4,449 - Updated: 2/1 - Published: 3/25/2022 - Nami, Vivi, OC, Yamato
Ruby's Secret Sugar Daddy by Grillefirer reviews
Ruby shows up one day with jewelry, money, and a man who's willing to give her more. Chaos ensues.
RWBY - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,744 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 1,344 - Follows: 1,814 - Updated: 1/24 - Published: 11/15/2021 - [Ruby R., Jaune A.] Yang X.L.
Conquest by Guthut reviews
Rarely do you ever get to choose your family in life. This fact didn't change second time around either. I would know. Still, as dysfunctional as they were, they were mine. And so, I fight. Pokémon AU SI
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,488 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 337 - Updated: 1/21 - Published: 4/26/2022 - OC
Of Water and Salt by Stellarys reviews
Percy Jackson is tired. Tired of all the fighting and all the death. He just wants to rest. The Mortal World is changing as they begin to raise their own champions. The Immortal Realm will not stand idly by as time passes. So when Olympus calls, her Sword must answer. But is it the same blade that fell Gaea or one newly forged? (AU) (Post Giant War) (Pre Battle of New York)
Crossover - Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Avengers - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 47 - Words: 420,472 - Reviews: 1839 - Favs: 5,392 - Follows: 6,001 - Updated: 1/15 - Published: 5/3/2019 - Percy J.
Strike a Match by NeonZangetsu reviews
It only takes one match to burn away the darkness. A single spark becomes an ember. An ember becomes a raging flame. Go ahead. Strike that match. Burn bright. Love hard. Laugh loudly. A wayward shinobi wakes to finds himself trapped in a world of perpetual night and sand. He's not dead. No. Surely not. He can't be...right? NarutoxHarem. A long-awaited return to Bleach, of sorts.
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 34,529 - Reviews: 1289 - Favs: 2,431 - Follows: 2,862 - Updated: 1/8 - Published: 2/17/2022 - Naruto U., Yoruichi S., Neliel T. O./Nel, T. Harribel
Harry Potter and the Lunar Princess by gadman85 reviews
Before that first Hogwarts Halloween, Harry disappeared and the wizarding world changed. Years later Harry returned to a much different magical world as a much different Harry Potter. He wasn't alone. How will the Wizarding World react to Elden Lord Potter and Lunar Princess Ranni. What will the two do, if anything? Harry/Ranni. Secondary pairing: Harry/Hermione.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Elden Ring - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 27,022 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 350 - Follows: 457 - Updated: 1/7 - Published: 12/7/2023 - Harry P., Hermione G., Ranni the Witch
Primal by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Into every generation a Slayer is born. One girl in all the world, a chosen one. She alone has the strength and skill to hunt the vampires. That wasn't him though. He was something else, though, not all that different in the grand scheme of things. Self Insert - CYOA
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 27,386 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 1,503 - Follows: 1,678 - Updated: 1/4 - Published: 12/3/2023 - Buffy S., OC
Pokemon: Jordinio Version! by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
So there I was enjoying myself at a bar about to pick up a pretty girl and then bam! I'm on Route 1, short as shit and somehow twelve again. Oh well, at the very least I can get that Charizard I always dreamed of. Self Insert.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 44 - Words: 254,279 - Reviews: 3828 - Favs: 7,433 - Follows: 8,191 - Updated: 1/1 - Published: 1/11/2018 - Ash K./Satoshi, Charizard/Lizardon, Pidgeot/Pigeot, Hilda/Touko
Deconstruct, Reconstruct by ColdLuigi reviews
When Rumi wakes up after the battle with the High-Ends, it's to missing limbs, a career cut short, and no way out. She knows there's no going back, that she can never be who she was. At least, until she meets a (hot) quirkless doctor named Izuku Midoriya. He helps her realize that there might be more hope than she thought. The Pro Hero Miruko is coming back, one way or another.
My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 73,421 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 2,963 - Follows: 3,437 - Updated: 12/20/2023 - Published: 7/8/2020 - [Rumi U./Mirko, Izuku M.] Keigo Takami/Hawks
Beyond Critical by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Kaito Evander wasn't anything special. He was smart, athletic and had great aspirations, but there was nothing truly special about him, even his Sacred Gear was a common Twice Critical. That was until the soul of his counterpart in another universe fused with his own and he gained...a second Twice Critical?(Insert)(Multi-cross) (Ikki Tousen, Uzaki-chan, Rosario Vamp, New Sis Devil)
Crossover - X-overs & High School DxD/ハイスクールD×D - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 24 - Words: 129,104 - Reviews: 1384 - Favs: 4,612 - Follows: 5,352 - Updated: 12/18/2023 - Published: 7/12/2022 - [Rossweisse, OC, S. Irina, Ravel P.]
Power! by 0 Jordinio 0 reviews
Faeran Shafiq did his best to blend into the background. He had no interest in getting roped into the craziness that was the life of Harry Potter and finding himself in the target range of the Dark Lord Voldemort. That was, until he one day received memories of another life, of another Faeran, whom had read the life of Harry Potter as book. Time to get good! Self Insert.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 23,368 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 2,598 - Follows: 3,177 - Updated: 11/27/2023 - Published: 4/15/2022 - Hermione G., Susan B., OC, Daphne G.
Showing old geezers how it's done by Snens32 reviews
Harry gets killed in 2007 and finds himself reincarnated in what he quickly realises is the Star Wars Universe, retaining his memories but not his form. For the next few years he experiences the difficult life of being a slave until he is found by Jedi Master Dooku on accident. Despite the Jedi Council's concerns Dooku takes Harry as his padawan, changing the timeline significantly
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 45,996 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 824 - Follows: 1,210 - Updated: 11/26/2023 - Published: 8/26/2023 - Count Dooku, Harry P.
What Hides Beneath The Surface by SSJ3 Kyuubi Gohan reviews
A slight change, a single moment too long, leads to "Old man Zangetsu" not being the primary spirit in charge of Ichigo's powers. Instead, his true Soul Reaper powers were allowed to grow and flourish, enhanced by the antithesis of the Quincy, being allowed greater control over Ichigo's mentality. Small Harem.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 106,159 - Reviews: 911 - Favs: 3,827 - Follows: 4,388 - Updated: 11/17/2023 - Published: 6/27/2015 - [Ichigo K., Neliel T. O./Nel, R. Matsumoto, Riruka D.]
Trickshot by TheSilverboar reviews
Lied to by Mizuku one year early. A new tool, a new path, discovered sets off the dominoes to change fate and future. A Naruto who's determined to play to his skills and make new ones, to be the archer who never misses, a master of the trick shots. Mentor Tsume, Tenten pairing.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 54,349 - Reviews: 668 - Favs: 2,361 - Follows: 2,801 - Updated: 11/14/2023 - Published: 5/9/2022 - [Naruto U., Tenten] Tsume I.
Harry Potter and A Galaxy Far Far Away by kossboss reviews
A small change had Harry slowly absorbing memories from Voldemort's soul shard in his head after the battle in the Chamber of Secrets. Follow him as those memories lead him to an escape from the Wizarding World and an adventure in a whole new reality with spaceships and space wizards. Grey/Smart/Powerful Harry. Slow Build Up.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 257,980 - Reviews: 2299 - Favs: 7,105 - Follows: 8,317 - Updated: 10/23/2023 - Published: 12/14/2020 - Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon J., Shmi S., Harry P.
To Call A Place Home by missmusicluver reviews
Harry won the war. It's months afterwards and unexpectedly, he's literally picked up off the face of the world and shoved into another. One where Harry Potter died a long time ago. Where the Potter family's still fighting a war against a Dark Lord that's ruling the world one muggle murder at a time. They say he's their only hope. Harry doesn't really want in.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 153,821 - Reviews: 3365 - Favs: 11,186 - Follows: 14,140 - Updated: 10/2/2023 - Published: 8/31/2013 - Harry P., Sirius B., James P., Lily Evans P.
Timber! (Naruto SI) by DerKopfloseHesse reviews
The nail that sticks out gets hammered down. Coming to terms with this crazy new chapter, I try my best to enjoy this opportunity as much and as long as possible. (Male SI)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 47 - Words: 114,571 - Reviews: 639 - Favs: 2,516 - Follows: 3,140 - Updated: 10/1/2023 - Published: 2/20/2021 - Hana I., OC
What Doesn't Kill Me by TheSilverboar reviews
The ability to adapt, to survive. This has always been the driving force behind all human evolution. Izuku's quirk though? It takes that one step further, ensuing that whatever fails to kill him, will just make him stronger, a force to bring Doom against the Villains who dare to stand in his way. Doomsday inspired Izuku. No pairing decided.
My Hero Academia/僕のヒーローアカデミア - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 43 - Words: 89,853 - Reviews: 1938 - Favs: 6,398 - Follows: 7,400 - Updated: 9/30/2023 - Published: 1/10/2021 - Izuku M.
One Piece: New Life by AncientFun reviews
At the age of 15, Luffy dies. Due to an astronomical chance, a higher-dimensional being and an individual from another universe, he gets a new life, infused with memories of a vastly different version of himself. Follow a self-aware Luffy as he navigates his messed-up world, armed with new knowledge, and tries his hardest to make everyone around him as joyful as possible.
One Piece - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 458,520 - Reviews: 921 - Favs: 2,678 - Follows: 2,868 - Updated: 9/26/2023 - Published: 12/11/2022 - Luffy, Nami, Reiju
The Second Age of Heroes by Black' Victor Cachat reviews
Diana: "People said the Age of Heroes would never come again." Bruce: "It has to. We don't have any more time!" After a pause and visible reluctance, Diana finally said, "I may know of two more warriors." Trapped on another world, and away from the ocean, Percy and Annabeth are retired. But then aliens invade...
Crossover - Justice League & Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 9 - Words: 104,484 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 1,180 - Follows: 1,437 - Updated: 9/22/2023 - Published: 1/29/2022 - [Percy J., Annabeth C.] Bruce W./Batman, Diana of Themyscira/Wonder Woman
Legend of the Monkey God by Primordial Vortex reviews
Son Goku never hit his head. He never needed to hit his head. After all, getting sent to a planet to conquer it in the name of Freeza seemed... rather moronic when the Tyrant wanted all Saiyans dead. Rather than conquer, Goku's mission was to survive. What awaits Goku on his journey to avenge his fallen race? More aware Goku. Harem.
Dragon Ball - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 70,849 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 3,681 - Follows: 3,852 - Updated: 2/28/2023 - Published: 1/27/2020 - Goku, Bulma