Author has written 3 stories for Kingdom Hearts, Lord of the Rings, and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys.
Height: 5'10''..okay I'm 5'5". I hate being short.
Hair/eye color: Brown/brown
Spirit Guide: Wolf
Favorite movies: (with fav characters) Hard Core Logo (Joe and Billy); Interview with a Vampire (Lestat and Armand); Hellboy (Hellboy, Abe, Myers); The 10th Kingdom (Wolf); Lord of the Rings (Faramir, Aragorn, Eowyn and Elrond); Lost Boys (All the Lost Boys minus Michael); Underworld and Underworld: Evolution (Lucias and Michael); Van Helsing (Carl, Dracula and Frankenstein); Star Wars (Qui-Gon (spelling?), Leia (spelling?), Han Solo, and Chewbacca); Alice in Wonderland; Labyrinth (Jareth)
Favorite Books: Sword of Truth Novels (Kahlan, Warren and Zedd) (Top favorite!!); Vampire Chronicles (Lestat, Armand and Marius); Mists of Avalon (Morgaine, Viviane); Harry Potter series (The twins)
Anything that captures my interest
Favorite TV Shows: Torchwood (Jack and Ianto forever! Tosh and Owen too!); Due South (Ben and RayK); House M.D. (Chase, Wilson and House); Deep Space Nine (Julian Bashir and Kira Nerys); Angel (All of the Fang Gang plus Spike, especially Wesley); Hercules the Legendary Journeys (Herc and Iolaus); Star Trek: The Original Version (Sulu, Spock, McCoy and Chekov); Star Trek: The Next Generation (Guinon (spelling?), Beverly, Data and Geordi (spelling?)) (so I'm a trekkie. I'm a nerd.); YuYu Hakusho (Kuwabara); Ouran High School Host Club (Hunny, Mori and the twins); Doctor Who (2005) (The 9th and 10th Doctor and Rose); Charmed (Phoebe and Chris, future version)
I like rpg's and Final Fantasy games. My favorite is FF 8 with 7 being a close second. I don't like 2 though. Never did.
I enjoy listening to Metallica, Seal and any other music that I like. I also love sci-fi! I am a huge sci-fi geek!
I love reading anything I can get my hands on. I'm a bookworm, have been since I could remember. I love books!
I'm a US native, cuurently living in Pennsylvania. Very boring state.
I enjoy listening to music (see above), walking, trees (I like to be surrounded by a lot of trees, just relaxes me). I'm a Wiccan as well.
I AM A PAGAN AND PROUD OF IT!!
I am known to be a really kind person. I can't resist helping someone. Really, I am a huge softie and I have a hard time saying No. Unfortunately because of that I can be easily fooled. Though I believe that is balanced out by my temper. I've got a blind temper, meaning if I get really mad, I'll lash out at just about anyone with out meaning to. I'll say things I don't mean and, it's just really bad. Though I am a nice person, I am a bit anti-social. People talk to me, but normally that is as far as it goes. I do have one or two good friends however. I like my privacy, a lot. I also like to listen. My name means 'Listener of God' in Arabic. Normally when I am with my few friends I won't always take part in the conversation. I'll just listen to the others talk and argue. I don't take part. It's weird. People talk a lot easier when I am around. They confide in me and talk to me. Sometimes I'll just sit in the park near my home and just watch and listen to the people around me. Not do anything or talk to them. Just listen.
I am currently going to college to become a therapist.
I, Vampire's Phoenix, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age or anything else.
Change, Destruction and Rebirth- My friends and I are trapped in the world of Kingdom Hearts. But it's not like one would expect. We're being chased by a psychopath and we've got the responsibility to save the universe thrust upon our teenage shoulders. What a drag.
The Ties that Bind Us- A Herc/Ladyhawke/LOTR crossover! Dahak as it turns out has the last laugh as our two favorite heroes are cursed with madness that threatens to tear them apart and if things weren't bad enough, they aren't in familiar territory anymore.
Past Lives, Furture Bonds- My second Herc fic. Two life long friends are forced to question their very identities when a simple road trip turns out to be more than they expected.
Project Ideas in the works:
I am deciding to work on a Torchwood/Labyrinth fic since I have not found one yet (inspired by Gareth David-Lloyd's guilty pleasure!) starring who else but Janto! Owen, Tosh and Gwen make appearances also. Title...have no idea yet.
Someone asked me for a profile of my OC's in my KH fic. I thought it might be a good idea since I have future plans for them. What are they? Wouldnt you like to know...MWAHAHAHA!!
Samantha: Born to loving parents in Ohio. Her life was fairly ordinary, with both ups and downs. From a young age her best, and only, friends were four boys. She was a relatively ordinary child, but to her peers she was a freak and had a bit of a temper. She had a talent for reading people's personalities and discovering their true intent. She dislikes fake people and acting like everybody else just for the sake of it and as such had trouble making real friends until she met her boys. Her parents, while encouraging her uniqueness, were grateful that she was able to find such good friends. She befriended Nick and John at around age five, David around age nine and Dwayne in his preteens. Samantha grew very close to her friends, to the point where they became her family. She formed a special bond with each of her new brothers based on a different quality, becoming the heart of the group, the string binding them together.
With Dwayne, it was their fondness for books and literature and the knowledge of what it was like to be alone. Samantha drew him out of his shell, encouraging him to reach out. In return, Dwayne assisted Samantha in schoolwork and as a result both were able to skip a grade of school. Both share a love of RPG games, such as Final Fantasy.
For John, Sam became a big sister to the youngest member. After the death of Sara, Sam provided the most comfort. She was also very accepting of his visions and convinced the others of them as well. She comforts the young psychic when his visions ultimately come to pass.
For Nick, the oldest, Sam was a voice of reason. She kept him in line and helped him to be more than what he believed he could be. She refuses to be put off by his immature acts and encourages him to do what he loves.
Sam's part in David's life came during her dark period after her father's death. For a short time she became self-destructive and even attempted suicide. It wasn't until a particularly nasty event when David, her knight, saved her life that Sam realized what she was doing and stopped. She was made aware of how much she was needed by the boys and how much she needed them.
She wears a special bracelet her father gave to her, a white gold band with intertwining grooves of emerald and sapphire. It becomes her keyblade. She is also a harmonixer, with the ability to transform into four different demons via a pair of vambrace. It is unknown whether she can assimilate other demon forms as she grows stronger.
David: The fate and identity of David's parents is unknown. He was left to his paternal grandparents when he was a baby. He has no real desire to know about his birth parents. To him the past is just that, and should be left alone. By nature he is a leader, a caretaker and is happiest when he has someone to take care of. He is close to his grandfather and always wears a old coin medallion that was given to him. This becomes his keyblade.
He befriended Samantha and the others at a very young age. He met John and Sam when he defended them from a group of bullies. Though he isn't the oldest he is looked up to as the leader. He always thought of himself as a knight, protecting others. He was able to fulfill that fantasy when he saved Samantha's life, bringing her back from her destructive phase. He loves Samantha like a sister and thinks of the others as his brothers, having a need to protect them.
Samantha is his damsel in distress, the delicate flower he need to protect from being wilted. He feels a sense of grief and guilt from his inability to protect her from her brief stint in despair. He feels a lingering sense of failure and resolves to protect his precious flower from being exposed to any more darkness.
Dwayne is the frightened newcomer. The dark young man was last to join the group in his preteens. While Samantha encourages him to come out of his shell, David is the one who protects him and ensures that Dwayne feels comfortable to do so and makes sure he feels accepted.
John is the youngest, the little brother that needs protection from everything. He feels the insecurity of the young psychic and wants to ensure that nothing mares the young innocence that hasn't already been stripped away by the visions.
Nick is the oldest, yet the one that needs to grow up. David, like Sam, encourages his uniqueness and self-esteem but strictly ensures that he is able to improve himself, that he doesn't slip back into the immature mold.
David is a sword mage. He is easily able to assimilate all manner of sword fighting and fencing and can use some small magics to make his attacks more powerful. However he can ONLY use his magic on his sword whereas Nick is his superior in the magical department.
Dwayne: Born to a mexican father and a Soiux/American mother. His mother died when he was seven years old, leaving him a locket with her picture that becomes his keyblade. Ever since the death of his mother his father descended into drunken misery, beating him at least once a day. Dwayne felt isolated and alone, his despair and misery only compounding as he got older. He became a loner and worked hard to keep himself from becoming a criminal.
It wasn't until he met Samantha that he felt genuine friendship. The persistent overtures made by the fellow outcast eventually forced him to break down some of his walls and begin healing. Thanks to her and the others, he broke away from his father. The man was arrested and Dwayne was able to live with his aunt and uncle, who took care of him and loved him. Dwayne's healing progressed and he formed close bonds with Samantha and the others.
He feels a kinship with Samantha, a fellow former outcast. He feels comfort with a similar mind and way of thinking and thus is open to the idea of change and the slow ease of making his way in the world. His confidence was boosted when he was able to help her in school.
He sympathizes with John, who constantly feels the outcast because of his unique nature. Dwayne is often picked on for his heritage and thus is sympathetic to John's pain.
He is somewhat intolerant of Nick initially. He is almost easily angered by Nick's immaturity. Yet he is able to understand Nick's intentions and feels able to joke with Nick as he grew to know him.
He initially acknowledged David as the leader of their group, providing support and stability. David grounded him, tethered him to a supportive group and prevented him from closing up and running away.
Dwayne is a shape-shifter, who's main form is a large black wolf. He has the heightened senses of his chosen animal and many similar charactersitics.
Nick: Born to an alcoholic mother and a tolerant father. His parents divorced when he was a child and his father was killed before he could take custody of Nick. Because of his mother's alcoholism, she basically ignored Nick. Nick grew up as a wild child, getting into trouble and the like. He craved attention from others because he could not get it from his mother. He also grew up with feelings of inferiority and self doubt.
When he befriended Samantha, he encountered someone who wouldn't put up with his antics and wasn't fooled by the charade. She was able to give him stability, but was also able to encourage him. He was still a goofball, but he did some growing up.
David provided an authority figure that helped him to straighten out and slowly grow up. David provides the stability of a leader.
John is the younger brother he can goof with, to help him feel a little more like a normal person.
Dwayne was initially short-tempered with Nick and was hard to be around. But Nick's persistent joking and proding was eventually able to get the young, stoic man to loosen up.
He has a ruby ring that belonged to his father and becomes his keyblade. He is also a mage with the potential to become one of the greatest in the universe.
John: Born to parents who were drug addicts. He had a younger sister Sara who shared his gift of precognition. They both faced a life of isolation because of their parents and their gift. Sam was the first one to accept them both for their special talent. When his parents murdered his sister due to drugs, it was Sam and his friends who were able to prevent him from breaking down. He keeps a diamond earring given to him by his sister after she predicted her own death that becomes his keyblade. John is the youngest of the group and relies of Samantha to be a big sister to him.
He relies on David to protect him, to sheild him from the horrors his visions bring.
He relies on Nick to joke with him, to make him feel as though he is just a normal person.
He relies on Dwayne to sympathize, to understand what it means to be ridiculed for something out of your control.
The diamond earring he wears becomes his keyblade, which has a silver handle and a diamond blade. As stated earlier, he recieves random premonitions.
You know you live in 2008 when...
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
1) Being gay is not natural. Real people always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. Therefore it should never be allowed as all religions are always right.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
Copy and paste these into your profile if you believe in equality for all:
"Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
~ Margaret Mead
We could learn a lot from crayons. Some have weird names, some are dull, some are new, some are pretty, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.
Black and White:
A black man was talking to a white man and said: "I'm black. When I was born I was black. When I grew up I was black. When I'm sick I'm black. When I go in the sun I'm black. When I'm cold I'm black. When I die I'll still be black. But you: When you were born you were pink. When you grew up you were white. When you're sick you're green. When you go in the sun you're red. When you're cold you're blue. When you die you'll be purple. And you have the nerve to call me coloured."
Copy and paste this into your profile if you believe in speaking up for what you believe in no matter who it effects:
First they came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn’t a Jew. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn’t speak up, because I wasn't a Catholic. Then they came for me, and by that time there was no one left to speak up for me.
~ Deitreich Bonhoffa
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.
"People fear the strange and unusual. I am the strange and unusual."
"You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?"
"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot."
"Skill is being able to walk across Niagra Falls on a tightrope without falling. Intelligence is not trying."
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.
92 percent of the teen population would be dead if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Repost this if you are one of the 8 who would be laughing your butt off.
If you're a girl who's tired of people assuming that just because your a girl you love pink and can't fight to save your life, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you don't know why people can't get it through their heads that members of the opposite gender can just be friends, copy and paste this into your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune, and were all composed by Mozart.
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be considered a planet, copy this into your profile.
If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you're weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
If you have ever tripped up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you talk about famous people so much you start referring to them by their first names only paste this on your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever given off the allusion of being drunk when you weren't, copy and paste this into your profile
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
If you are Doctor Who/Torchwood obsessed, copy this into your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is stupid, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are a loner/goth/emo/freak/punk/weird person, then copy this to your profile.
If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.
If you get way too excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile.
If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you jump up and down on th elevator, copy and paste this to your profile. (it feels so weird! :D)
If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. (I read each HP book in less than 10 hours)
If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!
If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile.
If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have way too many of these things, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said 'pull', copy this into your profile.
If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his damn cereal, put this in your profile!
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
Steven Moffat classified Rose Tyler as the Doctor's "needy girlfriend," and that he had to hand it to the Doc for ditching her and 'palming her off on a copy of himself.' If this statements makes you very, very happy, join the club! (and copy this into your profile!)
If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.
If you've actually stopped reading a story because of the terrible state of the grammar, add this to your profile.
If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading your own stories, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are Doctor Who obsessed, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen Teetering On The Brink Of Insanity Past The Point Of No Return Man Life Sucks, The Poisoned Doughnut of DOOM -'TophToph'-, chocolatecoveredbananacheese,TakutoxMitsuki 4 ever , tashie1010, DeanneParker, paula545,KatMEW15, Janto-Addict, Vampire'sPhoenix
If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you can read that please put it in your profile.
Ways to annoy people in an elevator:
1) Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”
2) Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters, look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
3) Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong ones.
4) Ask, “did you hear that cable snapping sound?”
5) Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
6) Call out, “Group hug!” and enforce it.
7) Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball.
8) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “That’s mine!”
9) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
10) Hold the elevator door open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi John, how’s your day been?”
11) Hum the theme to Jeopardy.
12) Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something ticking.
13) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
14) Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, “I wonder why this was glued on the door when I came in.”
15) Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to look, hide the pad.
16) Stare at another passenger for a while, then scream “You’re one of THEM!” and cower to the far corner of the elevator.
17) When the elevator doors close, bang on them, screaming let me out!
18) When there’s only one other person on the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn’t you.
If you are actually EVIL or just plain RANDOM and are actually considering doing the above 20 things, then copy this to your profile.
Have you ever heard that stupidity is a virus? Careful you might catch it! Ahh, too late...
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
Perfection is a waste of time.
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
I blame my attitude on videogames
There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit
Tired of living and scared of dying
Scared to remember, terrified to forget
I hear your silence loud and clear
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
How can i miss you if you never left?
I'm not with stupid anymore!
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable
Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.
Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Funny how just when you think life cant possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
If you don’t stand for anything, you don’t stand for anything!--George W. Bush (lmao)
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Help I've fallen and i cant...hey nice carpet!
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.
There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive
Life is full of disappointments, and I'm full of life!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
Cheese… milk's leap toward immortality.
Lifes Tough, get a helmet
They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
Can vegetarians eat Animals Crackers?
Only in America, do banks have braile on the drive-thru ATMs.
Isn't it scary that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
It is not MY fault that I never learned to accept responsibility
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths
The cops never find it as funny as you do
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
YOUR GUY SIDE:
xYou love hoodies.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick.
Girls Don't realize these things;
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
ONLY IN AMERICA...
If you're not afraid to sing any HSM song out loud in any public place, copy and paste this into your profile.