Author has written 8 stories for Angel.
Hi. I guess that you should know that I write (or am going to write) Angel fiction. Maybe some Buffy, possibly others if the mood strikes. I have been reading the site for a while, but haven't had time to post (or write, for that matter) much. Thanks to Miss American Pie, I've got an idea how to do some things and some story ideas. I hope you all enjoy what I can get out there. Oh, and I'm with Miss American Pie. Wes is best! ;)
What else can I tell you. My favorite show, obviously, is Angel. Some others, (list): Buffy, Bones, Supernatural, Charmed, Close To Home, How I Met Your Mother, House, Conviction, Kitchen Confidential, Related, Law & Order and others I have probably forgotten.
I like a variety of music. Bryan Adams is one of my favorites. I like pop, rock, classic rock, r&b, current, seasonal, soundtrack, and some other stuff.
Here are some quotes from Angel. If you are familiar with the show, they'll' be funnier, I suppose, then if you aren't. some from 'Fredless'.
Fred: So, now that she's alive again, are they going to get back together: Angel and the girl with the goofy name?
Wesley: Well, Fred. That's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say: No. Not a chance. Never. No way. Not in a million years. And also... never.
Cordelia: Let me break it down for you Fred: 'Oh! Angel! I know that I am the slayer... and you are a vampire... it would be impossible for us to be together, but...'
Wesley: (ripping off his glasses) 'But! My gypsy curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth. Oh, Buffy!'
Wesley: 'I love you so much I almost forgot to brood!'
Cordelia: 'Just because I sent you to Hell that one time doesn't mean that we can't just be friends...'
Wesley: '...or possibly more!'
Cordelia: 'Gasp! No! We mustn't!'" (Wesley grabs her)
Wesley: 'Kiss me!'
Cordelia: 'Bite me!'
Angel: How about you both bite me?
Cordelia: But, but Angel... we're your friends. And it's not healthy to repress stuff like that. You need to share your pain, express those feelings and longing, or... the curiosity's gonna kill me!
Angel: (deadpan) Oh, no. We wouldn't want that.
Fred: Personally I don't care at all what happened.
Cordelia: Shut up, Fred!
Wesley: You know, back in my days as a Rogue Demon Hunter I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small Rhodentius demon... of course the poodle's owners weren't very happy...
now, some random quotes
City Of (first epi)
Cordelia: So, um, are you still... "GRRR"?
Angel: Yeah, there's not actually a cure for that.
Cordelia: I was just joking Mr. Grouchy Pants. When was the last time you had a dating base?
Wesley: For your information, I live a rich and varied social life.
Cordelia: Oh, I know. Every night it's Jeopardy followed by Wheel of Fortune and a cup of hot cocoa. Look out girls, this one can't be tamed.
Wesley: I'll admit it may not be as intoxicating as a life erected on high-fashion pumps and a push-up bra.
Cordelia: Hey, if anyone is wearing a push-up bra around here it's...Angel!
Angel's trying to get out of wearing a pink bike helmet
Angel: Well, it - it's, you know. The whole visibility issue, not to mention the hat head thing. You know, when you really think about it, how come I have to wear the ladies' helmet?
Wesley: Stop being such a wanker and put it on.(puts on helmet)(holding back laughter) Looks good. Hop on georgeous.
Angel: You'll pay for this.
In The Dark
Watching from on top of a building as Angel talks to a woman he just saved, Spike guesses what is being said.
Spike: as Rachel: How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night thing?
as Angel No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. Now I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. (Rachel reaches for Angel's head) No, not the hair. Never the hair.
as Rachel But there must be some way I can show my appreciation?
as Angel No, helping those in need's my job, and working up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.
as Rachel I understand. I have a nephew who is gay, so...
as Angel Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away.
Not Fade Away
Lindsey: If you want me on your team Angel, I'm on your team.
Angel: I want you, Lindsey.
He pauses and they exchange a look.
Angel: I'm thinking about rephrasing that.
Lindsey: Yeah, I think I'd be more comfortable if ya did.
Wesley: It's sad. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. By the way, Gunn, technically that wasn't a Lurite, it was a Murite, a subspecies of the Lurite. The male sports a small telltale fin just behind the third shoulder.
Gunn: I'm so glad to know we're not the sad people obsessed with demons.
Ok, this ones not so funny and it's vey long, but its probably my favorite conversation between Wesley and Angel EVER. It happens S5, Smile Time. (Ok, you know you love that epi!)
(not facing Wesley, uptight, concerned)
She asked me to breakfast.
(nods, looks up from his papers)
Right. How did you respond?
(looks back over his papers)
Well... of course, I—ahem— ignored it completely, changed
the subject, and locked her in a cage.
(paces, turns toward Wes)
(looks up from his papers)
Wes, it wasn't just breakfast. You know, it was, uh... breakfast.(rambling) I mean, here we had this very good, very platonic thing going on,and then all of a sudden, out of the blue—
Are you blind? (Angel stares back blankly) Angel, there are things called signals.
Odorless, yes. Invisible, certainly, but unmistakable, like the ones
she's been casting your way for months.
(shakes his head)
No. I would have noticed—
This isn't just from me.
(Angel rolls his eyes)
This comes from people who know. This comes from the ladies.
(raises his eyebrows in disbelief)
Fred, Harmony... the girls in transcription.
As Harmony put it, "Why else would a chick who's coming to spend
3 nights in a jail cell dress like it's her first date?"
(stares at Wes in panic)
(Wes stares back with a knowing smile)
The ladies are right.
(sits in a chair)
Nina's down there right now, turning into a werewolf and liking me.
I don't—can't— I have no time for that kind of— I have
no right. I mean, look, we all know what happens if—
(shakes his head)
If what? If you achieve a moment of perfect happiness?
I turn back into Angelus, and we don't want that.
99.999-ad infinitum percent of the best relationships in the recorded
history of the world have had to make do with acceptable happiness.
(stands, throws his hands up, paces)
Hiding behind your gypsy curse when there's a beautiful, engaging—all
right, occasionally hirsute—young woman who actually wants you?
Wes, it's not gonna happen.
Because I'm not that guy. That guy is charming and funny and... emotionally
useful. I'm the guy in a dark corner with the blood habit and the
200 years of psychic baggage.
Get over it!
Why are you yelling at me?
Angel... if there's a woman out there... who you find truly attractive,
who you think about, let's say, most of the time, who represents even
part of what you think makes the world worth fighting for and who
doesn't view you as an entirely sexless shoulder to lean on...you
have to do something about it.
Who are we talking about here?
(looks down, the looks over Angel's shoulder toward the door)
(walks into the office holding a stack of files)
Hey, guys. I—I think I have a case.
ANGEL & WESLEY
(simultaneously with relief)
Angel: I saw her. I'm not crazy.
Angel: Right between the clowns and the big talkin' hot dog.
- Dear Boy
Cordelia: She slept with him? (refering to Wesley & Virginia)
Bryce: You were supposed to be Angel, this wouldn't have happened. That's why I hired him. He's a eunuch.
Cordelia: You slept with her?
Angel: A eunuch?
Wesley: Things happen, two young people, danger.
Virginia: What are you talking about?
Bryce: She was a virgin before you got here.
Virginia: I was not a virgin.
Wesley: Oh thank goodness.
Gunn: Yo, I could've told you she wasn't no virgin.
Angel: Not a eunuch.
Cordelia: One day as Angel - ONE DAY and he's getting some.
Bryce: What? How could you? I kept you away from all men.
Angel: The curse isn't even all that clear.
Virginia: Daddy you remember that chauffeur from when I was 16, and the one at 18? I haven't been a virgin for a very long time. I even dated Rick.(Rick walks by)
Bryce: Ginny don't do this, don't make me angry.
Virginia: Right because then you might do something bad. You were going to kill me! (She punches him.) You are not my father anymore.
Angel: I'm not a eunuch. Guise Will Be Guise
Cordelia: This has nothing to do with purity. This is all about dominance, buddy. You can bet if someone ordered a male body part for a religious ceremony the world would be atheist like that! (Wesley looks scared)
- The Shroud of Rahamon
Wesley: My ass is not pansy!
The Host: All right, just remember. Xenophobia is kind of a watchword where I'm from.
Gunn: I don't get it. Why are they afraid of Xena? I mean think she's kinda fly.
Wesley: Xenophobia. Fear of foreigners.
Gunn: Oh. Then can we pretend I didn't just say that?
Cordy: "Come on, Harm."
Wesley: "Such a fitting nickname."
Angel: "Wesley, you don't even have sales resistance. How many Thigh Masters do you own?"
Wesley: "The second one was a free gift with my buns of steel..."
I've Got You Under My Skin
Lorne: Go to sleep, lullaby. You've been fed and you're sleepy. You'll be with Uncle Lorne, who in no way resents not being asked to go to the ballet and is certainly not thinking of selling you to the first vampire cult that makes him a decent offer...
- Waiting in the Wings
Loa: "Your insolence is displeasing."
Wes picking himself back up: "You try chatting with a cranky hamburger."
Doyle: Wow, this place is... I thought girls are supposed to like pretty things.
Cordy: Uh. Don't start, okay? Angel told us to meet here, so we're meeting here. That doesn't mean that you can..
(Doyle picks up a bra and holds it up.She takes it away from him impatiently.)
Cordelia: That is so High School! Cordelia wears bras. Oh, she has girlie parts!
Doyle: Take it easy. You're being a tad defensive here. I think it's refreshing seeing a woman living like this. You know, it
means you're not so up tight. Means you live for the moment.
(He steps into a dirty cereal bowl sitting on the floor.)
Doyle: You're disgusting.
Angel is about to jump into an empty pool. "I'm either coming back with a cure or you're about to see something kinda funny."
Cordy: "So, whose turn is it to set the traps?"
Wesley and Gunn point at each other: "His."
Cordy: "You guys amaze me. You'll fight hell-beasts, but you're scared of rats."
Gunn: "Man, I hate rats. With their little beady eyes..."
Wesley: "...and their beady teeth."
Gunn: "And their little tails all woosh, woosh."
Cordy walks towards the basement door
Cordy: "Well, aren't you two just the biggest scardies I ever saw..."
Cordy drops the traps with a scream as the door suddenly opens just as she reaches it.
Angel is standing there with a little smile on his face.
Cordy, brightly: "And look how it brings out my breasts! (Gunn gives her a look) You know you were all thinking it! (To Angel) Thanks."
That can't be his plan,can it? I mean, that's really a dumb plan.
Hey, Gunn graduated with a major in 'Dumb Planning' from Angel University. He sat at the feet of the master and learned well how to plan dumbly.
The Thin Dead Line
Lilah: Mind if I join you?
Wesley: Intensely, on many levels.
Darla: You're not evil? I don't understand... Was I...
was it... not good? Well,
I don't accept this. You cannot tell me that wasn't perfect. Not only have I been around for four hundred years, I used to do this professionally.
Cordelia: Vampires? Sloth demons? You know what's really, really evil? Tequila.
Wesley:(Pushing shot glasses out of his way) I need to be dead now.
Cordelia: Ok, two words I don't like right off the bat: 'tomb' and 'unearthed.' People, you've gotta leave your tombs earthed.
The Shroud of Rahmom
Cordy- " Back off! Polygrip. You think you're bad? Being all mean and haunty? Picking on poor pathetic Cordy? Well, get ready to haul your wrinkly translucent ass out of this place, because lady, the bitch is back." Room W/ A View
Cordy:Guys that was really fun, the public humiliation, running from the hotels security staff - and the nifty little outfit which seemed to tell so many conventioners "Pet me, I'm a whore"
Gunn: You two? I find Deevak, I'm gonna need something more than C-3PO and stick Figure Barbie backing me up. No offense.
Cordelia: We need more of these.
Doyle: We'll have more soon enough.
Cordelia: Well, we need them now. Have a vision.
Doyle: I just can't perform on demand.
Cordelia: We need the clients. Have a vision.
Doyle: That money's corrupted you.
Cordelia: If I hit you in the head, will you have a vision?
Doyle: Get away from me -- you're insane.
Cordelia: What are you doing?
Wesley: Oh, knocking things over, driving away business, ya' know -- the usual.
Cordelia: Well, I found him and we have to stop him before it's too late. We have to change our... do you have any clothes a man would wear?
Guise Will Be Guise
Wes: "Honestly, have you ever seen anything lovelier? So - graceful, so full of life. And those eyes... make you feel like you're the only man in the room."
Cordy: "Plus, six breast. Any man is gonna love that."
Wes: "Fred doesn't have six breasts! - Right?"
Waiting in the Wings
Angel: (on the Blinnikov Ballet) I saw their production of Giselle in 1890. I cried like a baby (pauses) and I was evil!
Fred: (grinning) I think it sounds exciting.
Gunn: No. No! This is not Mata Hari. This is tutus and guys with their big-ass packages jumping up and down. This is just... I will never trust you again. The trust is gone.
Cordelia: Oh, get over it. Do we get dressed up?
Angel: Of course.
Cordelia: I'm in.
Angel: Guys, seeing the ballet live, it's... it's like another world. Gunn, these guys are tight, and you're going to be tripping out.
Gunn: Don't be using my own phrases when we've lost the trust.
Waiting In The Wings
Angel: It was Darla. She's back and she's human now. But, I know her scent.
Wesley: Angel you can't just sniff a person and know...
Angel: You had sex last night with a bleach blonde.
Wesley: Good lord how did you... ?
Cordelia: That's unbelievable! I didn't think you ever had sex.
Angel: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa - dirty people. Not touching the baby."
Cordy: "But pig-drinking bloodsuckers are okay? - I meant that in a nice way. Okay, I'm gonna go wash my hands, but when I get back I get first dibs on baby snuggles."
Angel: I think she's one of Cordelia's group. People called them The Cordettes. A bunch of girls from wealthy families. They ruled the high school. Decided what was in, who was popular. It was like the Soviet Secret Police if they cared a lot about shoes.
(holding on to a man needed for a case, a man employed part time by W&H)
Angel: Mnnnn, Can't you just taste that butter fat?
Lindsay: You're really gross you know that?
Wesley: What are you doing! This book is twelve centuries old!
Harmony: Okay, so it's not like I ruined a new one.
Spike: "To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase.."Duh"
In The Dark
Angel: We seem to be evil free at the moment.
Wesley: I also packed along a Word Puzzle 3-D if either of you has the nerve to take me on.
Cordy: Gee, Wesley, I'd love to, but unlike you, I'm not in my 80s quite yet.
Dru: "That's not a fitting gift at all for our newborn grandmummy... I saw you coming, my lovely. The moon showed me. It told me to come into the twentieth century."
Angel: "It's the Twenty-first century, Dru."
Dru: "Hmm, I'm still lagging."
Wilson: This is a private club. Featured word 'private'.
Angel: You don't talk to me, I'll kick your ass. Featured word - 'ass'.
Angel: "Exactly! He's also got her wearing this - flimsy swimsuit that covers like (twists the ax handle between his hands as he looks up at the ceiling) nothing."
For a moment all three guys' eyes unfocus, then they glance at each other.
Cordy: I believe in Los Angeles. It's the city of dreams, a mystical oasis, built from a dessert. (Gets up and plays with the blinds) But even sunny blond LA has its trashy dark roots, and you've learned that the hard way, haven't you? (Walks around her desk and leans over an empty chair) You've taken your problem to the police, they can't help you, so you've come to us. (Office door opens to admit Wesley carrying a newspaper and some letters in his hand.)
Wesley: I think it's about to speak.
Cordy: Nobody likes a smart-ass, rogue demon hunter. What do you want, Wesley?
Wesley: Angel --
Angel: Invite me in.
Angel: I've never been here before, Wesley! You have to invite me in!
Wesley: That's true, you haven't...Well. Perhaps if you'd shown more interest --(demons attack)
Wesley: Yes! No! Absolutely! I invite you in! In I invite you!
Cordelia: Wow. How did I - ? I am a spy. I get it now. You're all spies. Probably all Russian. And you've brainwashed me, and want me to believe we're friends so I'll spill the beans about some nano-techno-thingy that you want.
Gunn: So... I look Russian to you?
Cordelia: Black Russian.
Angel: That's a drink.
Cordelia: Says the head spy.
Slouching Toward Bethlehem
Wesley: I'm not quite finished. I think it's only fair that everybody have a turn. The cross obviously doesn't affect me or our friend, the pugilist.
Gunn: Oh, your ass better pray I don't look that word up.
Spin The Bottle
Darla: But we...
Darla: ...and you...
Angel: I know...
Darla: Then I...
Angel: Three times...
Darla: You're not evil?
Spike: Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in the drink...
Spike: Look at you.
Angel: Just turn around and walk away.
Spike: You're a--
Spike: You're a bloody puppet! You're a wee, little puppet man!
Harmony: ..And I type like a superhero...If there was a superhero whose power was typing.
(This one always gives me chills when I hear it! Wesley rocks!; Justine is about to hit Wes in the back of the head with a tool. He's looking forward.) Wesley: I'll take away you bucket. Deep Down
k, I know this is a Buffy, but I watched Yoko Factor last night and had to put this on there. Oh, and was I the only one who liked Tony Head's 'Free Bird'? Riley: I don't know. Xander said..."
Buffy: Xander said! Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia."
(Xander told Riley about Buffy's realtionship with Angel. Angel's 'Trigger'.)
Lorne: “Anyone else feel like the last feisty wife in Stepford?”
Lorne: It's like a song. Now, I can hold a note for a long time. Actually, I can hold a note forever, but eventually, that's just noise. It's... the change we're listening for. Then note coming after and the one after that. That's what makes it music." re: love, life, change-guy/Angel
The Beast: The boy joins the father in death.
Connor: No, in kicking you stony ass.
Lilah: (to Lindsay) You're not handicapped, you're handicapable.
Cordelia: Maybe it's time we paid your stoolie a little visit. Make with the chin-music (raises her fists) until he canaries. (Off Wes and Angels' looks) I've been watching a little noir festival on Bravo.
Angel: You think?
Cordelia: I'm Cordelia. I don't think. I know. Okay?
Angel: (smiles) Okay.
OK here's one from Bones to break the monotony. Although, we didn't really need to do that, now did we?
Temperance Brennan: (to voodoo man) I've noticed very few people are scary (poke) once they've been poked in the eye.
The Man in the Mourge
Cordelia: All of a sudden, rich and handsome isn't good enough for me. Now I expect a guy to be all brave, and interesting... and it's YOUR fault! Both of you.
Doyle: to Angel The good fight, yeah? You never know until you've been tested. I get that now. After kissing CordeliaDoyle: Too bad we'll never know... shifts to his demon face ...if this is a face you could learn to love. Two memorable lines.
Angel encounters Wesley, who tried to replace Giles as Buffy's Watcher.
Wesley: I’ll wager you never thought you’d see me again.
Angel: To tell you the truth, I hadn’t given it much thought one way or the other. What are you —
Wesley: Hup-up-up! I’m the one asking questions here. And I think it only fair to warn you, any sudden movement and I’ll be forced to —Angel knocks the crossbow from Wesley’s hands.
Wesley: Right. You had a question?
Cordelia: I think "Mister Too-much-cologne" is the pot calling the kettle stinky. (re:Wesley)
I've Got You Under My Skin
Wes being the adult and very mature. Have I mentioned he's my favorite?)
Wesley: It was the drugs. Couldn't be helped. Things were said, it's true, but I think it's best if we simply put it behind us. Move on. Angel: Thank you.
Wesley: You walk a fine line, Angel. I don't envy you.
I've Got You Under My Skin
Faith: Face it, Wesley, you really were a jerk. Always walking around like you had a great big stake shoved up your English Channel.
Five By Five
I always like Faith and I think it was because of these two epis. I also like the diolouge b/tw Angel and Wes.
Angel: To Cordelia Doughnuts?
Wesley: Developed a sweet fang, have you?
Angel: to Cordy You get jelly.
Cordelia: Whole selection.
Wesley: Won't she find it difficult, enjoying delicious jelly-filled doughnuts, if she is — one assumes — bound and gagged?
Angel: Wesley, we went through all this last night.
Wesley: Yes, you were right. The police would be ill equipped to hold a Slayer against her will. I understand why you chose not to turn her over to them. I do not, however, understand why the woman who brutally tortured me last night, this morning — gets PASTRIES!
Angel: to Wesley For a taciturn, shadowy guy, I've got a big mouth.
Wesley has noted that conditions Gunn and his friends live in "...puts things in perspective."
Cordelia: I think, perspectively speaking, I might want to prostitute myself to billionaire David Nabbit.
Wesley: coughing Cordelia...
Cordelia: What I mean is... he's a nice guy who wants companionship. I could use some security. So when I say "prostitute", what I mean is...
Cordelia: For instance.
Wesley: Do you think you really could?
Cordelia: I don't know. I could probably learn to love him. Looks aren't everything... or chemistry. Personality, that's important. And except for a lot of other... it's not what's on the outside that... yeah. Never mind. I'm fine here.
Gunn barges into the main office of the evil law firm Wolfram & Hart.
Gunn: Whoo-WHOO! My God! They told me it was true, but I didn't believe them. Damn, here it is! Evil white folks really DO have a Mecca!
Angel: I had to sing Barry Manilow.
Faith: You're kidding.
Angel: In front of people.
Faith: And here I am talking about my petty little problems.
Angel: Just wanted to give you a little perspective.
Angel: "Mandy". I don't want to dwell on it.
Faith: The road to redemption is a rocky path.
Wesley: I can sense it. There is a pattern here. - Some force was residing at the Hyperion over the last decades, affecting staff and residents. I just fear there is no real way to...
Cordelia: A Thesulac paranoia demon. Whispers to its victims, feeds on their innate insecurities. Wesley stares
Cordelia (holding out phone): Angel wants to talk to you.
: I've been accused of a great many things in my time but paranoid has never been one of them. Unless people have been saying it behind my back.
Are You Now Or Have You Ever Been
Wesley: I am not a sheep!
Cordelia: You are such a sheep. You've never had a single opinion you didn't read in a book.
Wesley: At least I've opened a book.
Cordelia: Oh don't even try with the snooty, Wooly Boy. I was top 10 percent of my class!
Wesley: What class? Advanced bosoms?
Wesley: What about my salary? That's fixed too.
Cordelia: What if every time you identified a demon in one of your big old books, we gave you ten bucks? Or a chicken pot pie?
Wesley: Wait, I have another idea — no. Get a vision!
Cordelia: Well, it's not like you can hit me in the head and wham, it happens!
Wesley: What if we test that theory with one of my big old books?
Angel: Children, stop bickering.
Darla: All that power wasted on a whiny, mopey do-gooder. God, I could eat his eyeballs.
Lindsey: Our plans for Angel are a little more long-term than that. But if you can't help yourself, then by all means, be my guest.
Darla: You're fun for a human.
The team is at Caritas, a karaoke bar favored by demons.
Gunn: Okay, what I want to know is, how'd I live in L.A. all my life and not notice weird-ass stuff was going on?
Cordelia: Oh, the ass is even weirder than you think!
Guise Will Be Guise
Lindsay, Linsay, Lindsay...
Lindsey: You could've had it. But you didn't have what it takes... an evil hand. I mean, come on. Who here does, huh? Leon doesn't. Charlie doesn't. You do know you gave me an evil hand, right? I've been writing "kill, kill, kill" on everything. It's crazy. It's crazy. Anything could happen!
Nathan: signaling security guard Allen?
Lindsey: Allen, how are you? punches him and steals his gun Uh-oh! shoots guard in the foot Oh, that's gonna hurt in the morning. Stop it, evil hand, stop it! I just can't control my evil hand. Nathan, I'm so proud that you chose me. rubs a co-worker's hair Charlie! If I would have been in your shoes, I would have chosen Lilah. Let me tell you why. Do you have any idea of the hours this chick has logged in? Huh? The files she has on you guys? Deep stuff. Ronnie, your stock manipulations. Nathan's little offshore accounts. Can you imagine if something were to happen to this girl, and those files got back to the Senior Partners? They'd eat you alive! She's been working overtime, boys. She's everything you ever dreamed of. Lilah is your guy. Me, I'm unreliable. I've got these evil hand issues. And I'm bored with this crap. And besides, I'm leaving, so if you wanna chase me, be my guest. But remember - holds up his hand evil. Good luck. gooses Lilah on the way out, and holds up his hand Evil!
Gunn: I've got a plan.
Wesley: Oh thank god! What is it?
Gunn: We die horribly and painfully. You go to hell, and I spend eternity in the arms of the Baby Jesus.
Through The Looking Glass
Fred is onstage at a karaoke bar, singing "Crazy".
Cordelia: I swear, she picked out the song herself.
That Old Gang of Mine
Gunn: playing a video game Dead! So dead! So very, very dead. Just how dead are you, huh?
Angel: I'm tired of being the dead one.
Fred: Who's Darla?
Gunn: Angel's old flame, from way back.Fred: Not the one who died?
Gunn: Yeah. No, not that one, the other one that died and came back to life. She's a vampire.
Fred: Do y'all have a chart or somethin'?
Gunn: In the files. I'll get it for you later.
Angel stares at Cordelia, working up the nerve to confess his feelings for her.
Cordelia: Why are you looking at me like that?
Angel: Uh... no reason.
Cordelia: Okay. It's getting creepy now.
Angel: I was just thinking about things. People. You know, how they relate. Take you and me, for instance. We're very different. Very.different. Obviously. points at Cordy Human, points at self vampire. points a Cordy Woman, points at self man... pire.
Cordelia: Has someone been putting vodka in your blood?
Angel: chuckles See? You're funny! And I, well I get off a good one every once in a while, but you...
Cordelia: Angel, are you trying to say you love me?
Cordelia: I love you too.
Angel: You do? When did this…
Cordelia: calling into Wesley's office Angel loves me! I love him! Angel: Oh, my God! Cordelia: You guys love us and we love you!
Wesley, Fred, Gunn: offscreen, in chorus We love you, Angel!
Cordelia: They were all saying it earlier. Just in case this prophecy comes true and we all die. You're not gonna want a hug, are you?
Angel: chastened No.
Fred: That's the tragic beauty of a cosmic convergence. I- I mean, he just plays his own small part. He comes here looking for Angel and Darla, and in the process ends up finding Angel's unborn child. Who, as it turns out, wasn't evil at all as we feared, but was actually meant to be some sort of Messianic figure. But Holtz kills it before it's even born, and his vengeance somehow triggers the end of the world! (pause, off everyone's looks) Or not. It could go either way. Have you thought of a name yet?
Lilah: What does it say about the birth?
Translator: Well actually, it's funny. It doesn't.
Lilah: What do you mean it doesn't? But you said it did.
Translator: Yes, I did say it did.
Lilah: But it doesn't.
Translator: In a way.
Lilah: I have a gun.
(referencing the Cordelia/Wesley kiss from season 3 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Gunn: Hey, is it true that you and Wes were... you know, that you had a little...?
Cordelia: Humiliating kiss where he drooled all over my chin? Yeah, but I've worked really hard to repress it.
Wesley: Right. Well, as much as I'm enjoying this forced death march down memory lane...
Wesley ends a fencing duel against a laughing, comedy-masked minion with a thrust through the body.
Wesley: Who's laughing now?
Minion: giggles weakly
Wesley: Well… you are. But I still win.
Waiting in the Wings
Angel has bought tickets to a ballet instead of a rock concert.
Gunn: No, this is not Mata Hari. This is tutus and guys with their big-ass packages jumping up and down! This is just — I will never trust you again. The trust is gone.
Waiting in the Wings
Fred: We have to find a dress for you. Something that'll make Angel go crazy.
Cordelia: Fred, sweetie, Angel is crazy.
: You guys should go back. I'll snoop.
: I'm with snoopy. The magic of the ballet — not really getting to me.Wesley
: But how will the dancers keep time without your rhythmic snoring?Waiting in the Wings
Wesley: Why can't you have sex?
Cordelia: Because I could lose my visionity.
Wesley: If you want to play it that way..
Cordelia: VISIONity. The visions.
Wesley: When you knew it was more than just a tryst you should have told me.
Gunn: It happened so fast. The thing just grabbed the guy and he was gone.
Wesley: That's.. That's not what I meant.
Gunn: Oh. You mean.. Well. I'm not so sure that's any of your business.
Wesley: No, you're probably right. Still, she could get hurt. I trust that won't happen.
Gunn: What are you, her brother?
Gunn: Wesley, I...
Wesley: She chose. It's just important to me that she's taken care of.