haemo33
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Joined 01-18-17, id: 8687391, Profile Updated: 08-22-18
Author has written 1 story for Alex Rider.

baby i'm a priest in the underworld, guess who?


devoted mother of six fictional children, overly indulgent writer of fanfictions.

my shit

familiar patterns

first in the can't win 'verse. formerly titled Tides of Change but thats a dumbass name so i changed it.

When Alex Rider, newly (re)orphaned, ends up living with Wolf for an indefinite stretch of time, no one is entirely sure what's going to come of the situation. The two of them are walking disasters, both holding on to past traumas and huge secrets. Whatever they were expecting to come out of the situation, this certainly isn't it.

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AWOL by dalekchung reviews
It started with Alex Rider's disappearance. It continued when unassuming SAS soldier, Lynx, surfaced. It ended with a mission and the downfall of an espionage empire. (AWOL rewrite)
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 24 - Words: 37,032 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 7/23/2019 - Published: 1/15/2017 - Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox, Wolf, OC
It Takes A Village by KHaggie2020 reviews
After looking after Alex for a year, the Pleasures send Alex back to the UK..and back to MI6. There, they tell him he must stay with someone for "protection" but he knows it's really for them to keep tabs on him. So where do they send him? Well to Brecon Beacons of course! How does K-unit handle Alex and the effects his missions had on the boy? Set after Scorpia Rising.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 53,787 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 203 - Updated: 6/18/2019 - Published: 12/31/2017 - Alex R./Cub, Eagle, Snake, Wolf
Vellum Voices by Lomonaaeren reviews
HPBZ slash, threeshot. AU. Voldemort cursed Harry in the graveyard so that he can only speak Parseltongue. Harry embarks on his fifth year alternately furious and despairing and trying to learn faster writing, British Sign Language, and nonverbal casting all at once. It turns out that not all Slytherins are Malfoy or Snape, and not everyone is frightened of Parseltongue. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 17,242 - Reviews: 237 - Favs: 1,521 - Follows: 607 - Updated: 7/12/2018 - Published: 7/11/2018 - [Blaise Z., Harry P.] Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Emotions by Nemini reviews
5 plus 1 of how Alex and Ben realised that there are reasons why spy partnership last whole life. Or snippets of way too emotional Fox and Cub whose emotions always worked differently. Alex/Ben
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,399 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/30/2018 - [Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox] - Complete
The healing process by VictoriousAgain reviews
"Anna's son, Beckett James Oliver, had always had a fascination with broken objects..." / Anna and Beck attempt to piece together a very damaged heart.
Victorious - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,051 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/7/2017 - Published: 11/30/2017 - [Beck O., Jade W.] OC
I'd Bring London To It's Knees For You by DobbyRocksSocks reviews
"God, Sherlock, you've no idea. Absolutely no idea. I was ready, willing even, to bring London to it's knees to take Moriarty out." - There's nothing John wouldn't do for Sherlock. Rated for bad language.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,487 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 20 - Published: 6/25/2017 - [Sherlock H., John W.] - Complete
Beyond: Too Late by Kadrian reviews
Alex Rider. Coyote. Soldier. Rehab at Breacon Beacon. Exactly what he wanted. With K-Unit and the air of hostile betrayal spreading like wildfire, Alex wasn't sure of anything anymore.
Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 110,273 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 188 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 6/18/2017 - Published: 10/29/2016 - Complete
Demons by tolbean reviews
Alex is back at Brecon Beacons for good this time; forced on to a veteran Unit and a new Sargent that think of him as more of a novelty than a soldier. But then a familiar face turns up, revealing some dark secrets, and suddenly 'Lynx' doesn't seem quite so funny anymore.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,807 - Reviews: 327 - Favs: 433 - Follows: 655 - Updated: 6/4/2017 - Published: 12/28/2015 - Alex R./Cub, Yassen G.
That's What Brothers Are For by bexlynne reviews
I was frustrated at the lack of Race/Romeo brotherly fics so I wrote my own. The boys at the Lodge House realize just how much they need their brothers to survive. Rated T because there's some violence mentioned. Cover art by me!
Newsies - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,041 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/19/2017 - Race, Romeo - Complete
What Makes Eternity Worth Living by SpencerRemyLvr reviews
Thanks to a curse placed on him long ago, the man now known as Spencer Reid has lived countless lifetimes, forced to live while unable to ever truly die. He's lived through famines and wars, pestilence and plagues. He's lived and he's loved – deeply and irrevocably. And he has also lost. He hides himself away from the world until one archangel comes along and changes everything
Crossover - Supernatural & Criminal Minds - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 17 - Words: 80,713 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 3/15/2017 - Published: 1/17/2017 - [Gabriel, S. Reid] - Complete
A Need for Fear by MilesAboveFantasy reviews
Alex goes to Tom to explore a side of himself that scares him. PTSD, kinky, sexy, etc. Approximately 5 years post-Scorpia Rising.
Alex Rider - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,065 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/10/2017 - Alex R./Cub, Tom H. - Complete
In the Bleak December by nrynmrth reviews
It's Christmas Eve, and Alex is at work. Featuring a snarky Tulip Jones, concerned Ben Daniels, and an agent who may or may not be named Felix. For SpyFest's 2016 Fic Exchange.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,264 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 13 - Published: 12/25/2016 - Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox, Mrs. T. Jones - Complete
Mama Jones by Monster Mads reviews
Three times Alex Rider landed in Mrs. Jones's office, and one he didn't.
Alex Rider - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,750 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 31 - Published: 12/21/2016 - Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox, Mrs. T. Jones - Complete
Sherlock Gets In Hot Water by wendymarlowe reviews
"You were just, what? Lounging fully dressed in the shower in the dark with the water off? Could have said something before I stripped, really." [AKA John and Sherlock have shower sex after getting stuck in the bathroom together.] (Part of my "John and Sherlock's Kinky First Times" series of shorts. Each stands alone.)
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,559 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 192 - Follows: 48 - Published: 8/28/2016 - [Sherlock H., John W.] - Complete
Double Helix by FeathersMcStrange reviews
A seemingly inconsequential event leads to the complete collapse of the Completely Neurotypical Don't Worry I Work Just Fine face Spencer Reid puts on when he's pretending his hardest that he isn't autistic. Ft. Reid in overload, and Morgan being a Good Person, handling it without being an ass. Autistic character fic by autistic author. Gen.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,653 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 11 - Published: 4/26/2016 - D. Morgan, S. Reid - Complete
Finally by elan0rjoy reviews
Morpheus has always and ever believed me to be his equal in every way. He has never acted like there was something that I couldn't handle. He has never treated me like I have limitations, has never seen me as anything but my netherling self and a queen. I don't expect him to be any different when we make love for the first time.
Splintered Series - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,929 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 8 - Published: 10/24/2015 - Complete
Collision Course by nrynmrth reviews
After returning from a mission, all Alex wants to do is go back to Ben's house and sleep...something that is hindered by the older spy's rather unexpected guests. T for language. Note: can be seen as very, very mild Alex/Ben slash. Oneshot.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,137 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 53 - Published: 10/14/2015 - Complete
I'm With You by Graysonation reviews
It was something too terrible to speak of that made a Spencer Reid run away from home at just twelve years old. But maybe just maybe, a little something special that can't be named would make him come 'home' . . . (Kid!fic AU, based on the Avril Lavigne song.)
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 63,244 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 9/29/2015 - Published: 7/18/2015 - D. Morgan, Elle G., S. Reid, A. Seaver - Complete
Uninvited Houseguests by RugitusAstra reviews
House guests are annoying at best. At worst, they're a team of SAS men forced on you by Alan Blunt. When an injured Alex returns from a mission, Alan Blunt sends K-unit to his house as "bodyguards". As if he needs bodyguards. Set a few years after Scorpia Rises, America didn't work out. My first story, feedback appreciated, good or bad.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,718 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 402 - Follows: 478 - Updated: 4/12/2015 - Published: 6/25/2013 - Alex R./Cub, Eagle, Ben D./Fox, Wolf - Complete
Welcome Home, Soldier by laurelblack reviews
John comes home from Afghanistan early, courtesy of Mycroft, and desides to give the occupants of 221B Baker Street the shocks of their lives. Complete unless someone gives me an add-on idea. Johnlock. T for established relationship (and a kiss)
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 699 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 312 - Follows: 92 - Published: 6/3/2014 - Sherlock H., John W., Mrs. Hudson - Complete
It's a Statement by Breelin reviews
Marina and Eight just don't understand the importance of clothes… even when what you wear can send the completely wrong message to your teammates. One-shot. Plenty of Navrina with hints of Nix.
Lorien Legacies - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,823 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/3/2014 - [Marina/Seven, Eight] Six, Nine - Complete
Meeting Harry by She Who Cannot Be Turned reviews
The people at the Jeffersonian are in for a shock when they meet the completely unexpected other half of Fisher. Slash
Crossover - Harry Potter & Bones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,429 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 1,319 - Follows: 463 - Published: 2/12/2014 - [Harry P., C. Fisher] - Complete
Of Course He Exists by pinktron reviews
Something falls out of Sherlock's jacket pocket at a crime scene, and it leads to Lestrade and the other Yarders wanting to know a little bit too much about the Consulting Detectives personal life. Parings: Johnlock, Warnings: None
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,436 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 12/27/2013 - Published: 12/22/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., DI Lestrade, Sgt. S. Donavan
Taming the beast by inkinmyheartandonthepage reviews
One-shot: Sherlock has been particularly vicious and Lestrade wants to know why. Johnlock. Rated T for safety
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,475 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 562 - Follows: 102 - Published: 10/17/2013 - [Sherlock H., John W.] - Complete
Oblivious And Blind by Elfprinzess reviews
Everyone knew Sherlock was unable to tolerate those who were blind to the truth, and oblivious to the true actions of people, and he made that clear. So when the police met John, and found out just what was different about him, no one believed he was really with Sherlock, because really, who would want to be with Sherlock? Established relationship, AU from the series
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,043 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 722 - Follows: 143 - Published: 4/21/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
An Officer, A Sociopath and A Soldier Walk Into A Bar by our dancing days reviews
...And the punch line is for their ears only. / When Greg started yet another drugs bust, he expected the decomposing ears and infuriating detective, but not the war hero husband leaning against the kitchen counter. Johnlock AU.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,104 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 1,371 - Follows: 260 - Published: 4/12/2013 - [Sherlock H., John W.] DI Lestrade - Complete
With the Stars as Our Witness by Systatic reviews
It started with a late night visit to the kitchens. If Harry didn't know better, he'd say that the House Elves were playing matchmaker. But, he came to realize that true Slytherins always get what they want. Blaise/Harry. HPBZ. SLASH.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,433 - Reviews: 657 - Favs: 3,070 - Follows: 3,300 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 1/17/2011 - [Harry P., Blaise Z.]
Interview by Rarely Written reviews
Lestrade unknowingly brings Sherlock's boyfriend in for questioning. "I'm sorry, you've got hell coming." Johnlock
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,120 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 600 - Follows: 125 - Published: 6/24/2012 - Sherlock H., DI Lestrade - Complete
Waiting For John by LadyNyxRavus reviews
Having worked with New Scotland Yard for a year, imagine the team's surprise when they find out the incomparable Sherlock Holmes has an actual boyfriend? Can you even imagine the freakish, alien, weirdo he must be to put up with Sherlock all the time?
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,672 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 1,945 - Follows: 364 - Published: 1/14/2012 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
The Confusion in the Duckling by Rochelle Templer reviews
Originally written from a prompt on LJ's Bitesize Bones Crack and Cliche Comment fic meme. The prompt: Sweets somehow gets amnesia and literally or mentally becomes 12 years old. Booth takes care of him.
Bones - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 34,664 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 8/26/2011 - Published: 3/9/2011 - L. Sweets, S. Booth, T. Brennan - Complete
Five Times John Woke Up Next to Sherlock by TheShoelessOne reviews
and One Time He Did Something About It. John/Sherlock.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,047 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 884 - Follows: 85 - Published: 1/13/2011 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Anywhere But Here by Scorpia710 reviews
Alex froze as well. Then, he smelt it. Some part of the helicopter was on fire, and Wolf, Eagle and Fox were still inside, and unconscious. Story for Spy Fest 2009.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 40,138 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 596 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 11/23/2009 - Published: 8/10/2009 - Alex R./Cub, Wolf - Complete
Familiar Patterns reviews
When Alex Rider, newly (re)orphaned, ends up living with Wolf for an indefinite stretch of time, no one is entirely sure what's going to come of the situation. The two of them are walking disasters, both holding on to past traumas and huge secrets. Whatever they were expecting to come out of the situation, this certainly isn't it.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 21,052 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 12/19/2018 - Published: 8/8/2018 - Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox, Tom H., Wolf
Yun Min (30)