BiggestDickEver
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 01-28-17, id: 8731303, Profile Updated: 06-14-17
Author has written 13 stories for Twilight.

Breathe in. Get ready.

You're going to want to remember this feeling.

This is The Biggest Dick Ever Contest. Welcome to the first TwiFic Contest that's all about The Biggest Dick Ever.

It's not what you're thinking.

It's exactly what you're thinking.

Do we mean the Biggest Dick Ever as in, the biggest actual penis? Yes. Do we mean the Biggest Dick Ever as in someone who's acting like a huge dick? YES. Write one, write the other, write both, write it all. Maybe he's got a monster. Maybe he *is* the monster. Go on, give it to us. We're not scared. Let us see what you've got in your ... imagination.

Take your time, relax into it, feel this out. We've got an extra long submissions period, so you don't need to rush with that thing. We want your best, not your quickest. Submissions accepted starting mid-March 2017 and stretching all the way out until June 25, 2017. Exact dates will be posted with plenty of time and winners will be announced sometime in late June 2017, or when we can tell you're good and ready.

Collabs are more than welcome. Write alone, or with a friend. Sometimes it's so big, you just have to share.

Does The Biggest Dick Ever make you feel a little shy? That's okay. Feel free to stay anonymous when you submit. On the other hand, if you can't wait for the world to know about your Big Dick, go on and give us your name. We don't discriminate.

Write the Biggest Vamp Dick Ever or the Biggest Human Dick Ever. Write Edward's Big Dick, Jasper's Big Dick, Carlisle's Big Dick, hell, even Bella's Big Dick. All Twilight characters, pairings and crossovers are equally and eagerly sought. All big dicks must be in human form while big dick is in use.

Getting excited? Wail 'til you see our ... We'll be sighing and biting our lips with plenty of visual and musical inspiration over on our official contest Twitter, Tumblr, and Facebook group .

So come on. You know you want to. This is it. It's The Biggest Dick Ever. And we can't wait for you to give it to us.

When you know for sure that you're really, truly ready, send yours to thebiggestdickevercontest@gmail.com with the header:

Author (if you want your submission posted anonymously, please say so here)

Email address

FFn profile page link

Title

Summary

Pairing

Rating

Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.

The Biggest Dick ever is hosted by LovelyBrutal and Yellowglue

Judged by Capricorn75, itssophiebear, Jdifrans1, MissWinkles, and TruvyBlue

entries kept anonymous by PortiaKhalo

No word count minimum or maximum. No limit on number of entries per writer/collaboration. Give us everything. We can take it.

We think.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Larger Than Life reviews
Bits and pieces of my life with the famous Isabella "Bubble Butt" Swan, internet personality and video blogger.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,937 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 86 - Published: 6/25 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hard to Deliver reviews
Edward 'The Package' Cullen: Porn Star. What do you get when one of the most massive dicks ever filmed is attached to the most massive dick ever filmed?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,347 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 58 - Published: 6/25 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Baby You're no Good reviews
Ed wasn't just rough 'around' the edges. He was 'all' rough edges inside and out. And after one night, me and the sexiest jerk alive were linked together forever.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,989 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 107 - Published: 6/25 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hatchet Man reviews
When Bella's boss retires, the only thing standing between her and the position is the dick they've already hired for the job.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,764 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 71 - Published: 6/25 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Beauty Takes on The Beast reviews
I was about to break a promise to watch out for my best friend's baby sister. I was the worst thing that could ever happen to her, but I wasn't about let that stop me from having my Beauty.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,362 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 164 - Published: 6/25 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Big Ed reviews
Big Ed doesn't only score a perfect ten for his diving prowess.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,718 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 29 - Published: 6/20 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fade to Black reviews
The real reason Edward wanted to wait until the honeymoon. You can't outrun the monster when you're trapped on Isle Esme.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,568 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 60 - Published: 6/14 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Everything She Wants reviews
It'd be a dirty little trick for God to play to make such a gorgeous creature such a dick.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,592 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 142 - Published: 6/11 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Practically Perfect in Every Way reviews
Edward has a big secret and Bella is about to get way more than she bargained for.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,356 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 110 - Published: 6/3 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Graduate reviews
Bella, an unhappy housewife in her late twenties, meets the man of her dreams. Too bad he is her friend's son, who has just returned home from college. Edward is as sexy as he is untouchable. Will Bella be able to stay away?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,078 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 96 - Published: 5/27 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullen Eggplant reviews
Lube it up, buttercup.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,458 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 88 - Published: 5/27 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A Dick By Any Other Name reviews
Sam Uley knows he has the biggest dick in the pack. Leah finally discovers Sam IS the biggest dick in the pack.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 953 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/27 - Sam - Complete
Around Midnight reviews
A sneaky little one shot for the BDE contest. Despite her best efforts, Bella finds herself inexplicably drawn to the very talented and very attractive man next door. One problem? He's the world's biggest dick. E/B. Romance/Humor.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,282 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 185 - Published: 5/21 - Bella, Edward - Complete