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Joined 08-16-05, id: 878691, Profile Updated: 11-10-11
Author has written 3 stories for Stargate: Atlantis, and NCIS.

I'm not on ff.n very much these days. If I write anything at all, it'll be at my lj. But I'm going to leave this up, for posterity at least, just to remember how weird I was six years ago.

Somewhere in Canada, circa 2005, a young(er) cynicalshoes wrote:

Well, let the games begin, shall we?

My name's Tess, I live somewhere in Canada (give me any of that Igloo crap and I'll seriously... become rather hostile). I go to school, as do most people my age. Which is unfortunate, seeing as that means I have to be in the same building as them most days.

As you may have noticed, I have a tendency to be sarcastic at times. Snark is, after all, a Canadian word. I am also pessimistic. Although, as you can see, my shoes (sneakers, never worn anything else in my life) have progressed beyond that to the point of pure cynicism. Other adjectives to describe myself would be perfectionist, sometimes lazy, indifferent and quiet, procrastinator... and obsessive. Definetly obsessive.

And by obsessive I mean... oddly so. And I have made the mistake of mentioning it to my friends, who cannot stop themselves from giving me something turtle-related for every holiday.

I suppose I do a few things, although my friends tell me I really need to get a hobby. I like writing (obviously) and reading, webdesign (every kid and his brother, right? Nevermind). Also Math and Science, outdoor stuff, camping, climbing trees (Seriously, I am never going to grow up), hanging out with friends doing nothing and makng up inside jokes. I do some mountain biking and have started kayaking. I don't know how long that will last. And I've always been interesting in mountain climbing, but I've never really gotten around to it. I zone out a lot. And day-dreaming. That is fun.

To warn you ahead of time, I am a geek. A total geek. In my opinion at least. And therefore: Sci-fi. It is my everything. Which leads me to wonder what I did in my spare time before I got the channel last summer. My fandoms I'll list later on, just as to not overwhelm (Does that have an 'h'?) you.

Which reminds me. I. Love. Movies. Which is kind of odd, seeing as I hate acting and overly-dramatic things. But, I tend to love almost any movie I watch. It'll actually take me a while to realize the writing sucked or the actors... well, they might've sucked too. But still, movies are cool. But, I haven't seen that many of them. I can watch the same movie over and over again, and still love it. And I only have to watch a movie once to suddenly become obsessive about it.

So, some of my favourite movies:

•Star Wars (The Trilogy's the best, obviously, but I like the Prequels purely because of Obi-Wan.)
•LotR (TTT and RotK mostly. One word: Faramir.)
•Indianna Jones (Raiders is my favourite, but they're all good.)
•Clue (You know, 1985, based on the board game, with Tim Curry as Wadsworth. Brilliant.)
•Cube (A cult classic, as I've heard, a '97 Canadian independant by Vincenzo Natali.)
•MIB (The first one's the best, but I can put up with the second.)
•X-Men (He. He. Logan. Weee... And X2 is awesome.)

I just have to throw this in: Strange Brew! If anyone knows what I'm talking about... yeah! Hoser!

On with the lists then: Favourite Actors:

•David Hewlett
•Ewan McGregor
•Richard Dean Anderson (This is the point where I start giggling like an idiot)

I would go on, but I suppose anyone else wouldn't really be favourite actors, probably because I've only seen one of their movies...

So next... fandoms I guess. I only write Stargate: Atlantis and Star Wars (not on here yet). And as of three minutes ago, NCIS. But reading... here we go:

Star Wars, Stargate: Atlantis, some Stargate SG-1, Men in Black, Numb3rs, Navy NCIS, some House MD, only a litle Lord of the Rings so far, Artemis Fowl (That was a while ago but I suspect I'll get back into it once I finish re-reading the series. Can you believe I just found out the fourth book was released?), not so much any more; but Harry Potter, a little Crosing Jordan, Diagnosis Murder, X-Files (often after watching one of the marathons on Sci-Fi), Firefly/Serenity, The Forsaken (SF Indie)... and I think that's it.

And for a treat (You certainly need it, after reading all that), some of my favourite quotes. I just love those ones about how stupid people are and the whole the-earth-is-doomed thing.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein

"The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity." - Harlan Ellison

"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?" - Scott Adams

"Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity." - Unknown

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." - Bill Waterson

"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education." - Albert Einstein

And, of course, a movie quote: "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky animals and you know it." - Kay (Tommy Lee Jones), Men In Black

I'm sure there are others, I'll just have to go find them sometime.

You know what? I think I'm going to leave you alone now. That's enough typing for me. Thanks for reading through all this by the way.

Just one last thing though: I don't actually talk using that many big words. Usually only when I'm saying something sarcastic.

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Brain Storm reviews
One shot. The power goes out at headquarters.
NCIS - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,073 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/20/2005 - Tim M., Tony D. - Complete
Duro Spiritus reviews
Episode tag for The Defiant One. It can't be as easy as 'Just disarm this superadvanced shield'. John and Rodney have some troubles finding the off button.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,410 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/31/2005 - Rodney M., John S. - Complete
Children in the Galaxy reviews
Short, pre series bit on when Elizabeth first meets McKay.
Stargate: Atlantis - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,789 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Published: 8/19/2005 - Elizabeth W., Rodney M. - Complete