Author has written 4 stories for Naruto, Kingdom Hearts, and Saiyuki.
I am the great Kazemaru-kun! And it's been a long time since I've updated this profile, hasn't it? Time to fix that.
Name: We're going to stick with Kazemaru-kun, though Asher (my middle name) works as well.
Age: I'm getting to be so old. I'm twenty-seven.
Height: 5'7 and it's official I won't be growing anymore.
Weight: I weigh more than 100lbs, but less than 160lbs and that's all you're getting.
Family: At the moment it's my mother and my two little furry mutts, Toboe and Sora.
Eyes and Hair: Brown. -_-' They have the same adjective. I saw no reason to separate them. Though at a distance my hair does look black.
Sex: All male, dudes.
(I won't name them all, but here are most of them): Naruto, Yu Yu Hakusho, Full Metal Alchemist (I like Brotherhood more though), Inuyasha, One Piece, Chrono Crusade, Hikaru no Go, Prince of Tennis, Eyeshield 21, Bleach, Saiyuki, Remote (shame it's only 10 mangas long), Absolute Boyfriend, Girl Got Game, Detective Conan, Rurouni Kenshin, Kekkaishi (there better be a season 2 cause the manga’s still going!), Dragon Ball and DBZ (you gotta love it!), Togari (it ends in a cliffhanger, damn it!), Escaflowne, Gundam Wing, Gundam Stardust Memory, G Gundam, and Ultimate Muscle.
Avatar: The Last Airbender (I don't consider it an anime because everything aside from the animation-if I'm not mistaken, it's drawn in Korea- is done in America. And it's really not giving Americans credit for making an amazing cartoon by saying it's anime.), Teen Titans (Terra and Brother Blood? Horribly predictable and boring seasons. I like to pretend they didn't exist.), Reboot, As Told by Ginger (I can't put my finger on why this cartoon appealed to me but it did.), Jackie Chan Adventures (because Jade Rocks!), The New Adventures Of Jonny Quest, Gargoyles, Doug, The Boondocks, Futurama, Batman Beyond, Powerpuff Girls, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe (2002 series is my favorite. I have a box set from a season of the original series, but I nearly fell out of my chair laughing when I watched the first episode and saw how ridiculous the bad guys looked), The Venture Bros., King of the Hill, The Zeta Project, Static Shock, Jimmy Neutron, Hey Arnold, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (who doesn’t love Ahsoka? She’s like a young, female Anakin) and Ben 10.
Harry Potter (Books 1-5 only. HBP and DH? Sorry never heard of those crappy titles.), Charlie Bone (It is not a cheap copy of Harry Potter, damn it!), Percy Jackson and the Olympians, The Inheritance Cycle (The movie Eragon was utter crap I'll admit, but the books are amazing, and no it is not an awful remake of the Lord of the Rings or Star Wars. Lord of the Rings still bores me, but I love Star Wars now.), Stephen King's: Cujo, The Langoliers, Needful Things, and The Shining. Killing Mr. Griffin and I Know What You Did Last Summer (The movie version of Killing Mr. Griffin stayed relatively true to the book-I loved it-but I Know What You Did Last Summer's was turned into a cliché horror movie-I hate those plotless things.), Terry Goodkind's 'Sword of Truth' series, Spiderman and the Revenge of the Sinister Six, and Spiderman Loves MaryJane.
The Mummy and The Mummy Returns, Beetleguese, Balto, All Dogs Go to Heaven 1 & 2, Iron Giant, Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3, Rush Hour 1-3, High School Musical 1-3, Remember the Titans, Robin Hood Men in Tights, A Kid in Aladdin's Palace, Fakin' the Funk, The Lion King 1 & 2, The Hunchback of Notredame, Cool World, Antz, The Prince of Egypt, Guess Who, Spirited Away, Spiderman 1-3, Under the Red Hood (Whoohoo! Jason Todd is now my second favorite DC character after Richard Grayson...Sorry Wally), Scooby-Doo The Mystery Begins, Astroboy, Tangled, The Princess and the Frog, The Blind Side, Tekken (the animated version cause I haven't worked up the courage to watch the live action one. I'm afraid it'll be terrible), Dragon Ball Evolution (if so many people can like The Last Airbender -I personally hated the movie- then I can love DBE!), and Hercules.
I'll just name my OTP. For me a OTP is a pairing I'm completely inflexible on. Everyone else can be paired with anyone under the sun, but the characters chosen as my OTP have to be together. If they're not then I'm just torturing myself by reading a fic with a pairing that I don't support.
There are still way too many so I'll try to keep it short
Naruto SasuSaku Now do I honestly believe that this pairing will ever become a reality? Well, the prospects are looking pretty low right now, aren't they? Is that going to stop me from supporting this pairing? No! Why should it? Itachi and Sasori are dead and people still crank out romance fics with them. Go pick on another impossible pairing for a change you bunch of haters.
Inuyasha InuyashaKagome and SangoMiroku Okay there's like two for Inuyasha and these two are actual canon now so there's no real need to defend them, is there?
Chrono Crusade RossetteChrono Oh come on, they just belong together! They form a contract and then they both die in the end which really sucked!
Rurouni Kenshin KenshinKaoru Again it's canon.
Bleach IchigoRukia Just because the romance between Orihime and Ichigo was more heavily implied than with anyone else doesn't mean I can't enjoy this pairing. I still like Orihime (I'll more readily read a story about her than about, say, Renji), but I just don't like her with Ichigo.
Yu Yu Hakusho KuramaBotan I know. It's not canon. It wasn't even implied, but neither was the gayness of the HieiKurama pairing and it's more popular than any other Yu Yu Hakusho ship so leave my little pairing boat alone.
Dragon Ball Z GokuChiChi, VegetaBulma, Krillen18, GohanVidel, TrunksPan, GotenMarron, BraUub DBZ is a large mixture of canon and fanon and I won't bend on any of them, which makes finding a TrunksPan fic without a side order of GotenBra that I don't want pretty dang difficult.
Card Captor Sakura SakuraSyoaran and kinda TomoyoEriol The TomoyoEriol gets the kinda, because they don't absolutely have to be together, but it has to be a damn good fic for me to overlook it.
Eyeshield 21 SenaSuzuna I stand by the reasoning that if it's shonen the odds of any of the characters, especially the main protagonist, being gay are slim to none. I think they're cute, it's heavily implied and it's pretty much canon.
Gundam Wing HYxRP, DMxHS, TBxMU, QWxDC, ZM(MP)xLN, WCxSP, TxU They're classic pairings and no I do not like the TBxQW ship. For the record I don't support any yaoi pairing that isn't canon, but that's mostly because the yaoi fangirls get so fanatical about their so-called “proof” of the characters’ homosexuality. If I can accept the fact that TomoyoEriol wasn't even hinted at (as in never happened and never stood a chance of happening), but still support it then why can't they accept the fact that Trowa, Quatre, Duo and Heero aren't gay and still like them as a pairing?
Saiyuki: Although I'm particular to GokuLirin I'll take anything that isn't yaoi! I’m not picky with this one.
FullMetal Alchemist: EdWin Canon. 'Nuff said. Al can be partnered with everyone from Mei to Rose to Noa to Riza to Mrs. Garcia Hughes and I couldn’t care less, but EdWin is perfect. Don’t mess with it…Well actually it’s a free country so you can mess with it all you want as long as you don’t try to make a profit off it. I just won’t waste either of our time by reading it if I don’t like it.
Avatar: The Last Airbender: Kataang To all the Zutara fans you can hate it all you want, but if we ever meet in person and you tell me the reason why you hate it is because it’s cliché I swear I will punch you in the face because I can’t stand hypocrites. There are few pairings form ATLA that wouldn’t be cliché and Zutara ain’t one of them. You don’t have to like Kataang, but let’s be honest with each other and call all the spades exactly what they are.
Harry Potter It’s a Harmony world and I don’t care if I’m the only disillusioned one living in it. Did I ever for a second believe it would actually become canon? Nope! Did I hope? Sure, why shouldn’t, couldn’t, or wouldn’t I? There’s no law that says that I can’t.
Teen Titans: RobinxStarfire and BeastboyxRaven Cartoon wise only one of these is canon, but comic book wise they both are too an extent. They both have this on and off relationship going on. Either way I love them…and Kid FlashxJinx because they’re cute.
Ben 10: Bwen Although first cousins are legal in lots of places I know it will never happen.I still like Bwen though.
The Legend of Zelda: LinkxZelda I’ll be honest and say that I don’t like Ilia, but I hated her before I even played TP just from reading that she steals my horse! It’s a silly reason for hating her, I know, but it ticked me off and when I actually played the game and it happened I was just pissed off even more. As for Midna…well she annoyed the hell out of me during the first half of game. So rude to Link and since I was playing Link I took it personally. Again I know it’s silly, but that’s how I am when I play video games. I could go through the rest of Link’s love interests…But this is getting long so I won’t.
Kingdom Hearts: SoraxKairi and RoxasxNamine (even though they’re kind of the same) That’s it really. I will say that I am partial to the VenxAqua pairing if for no other reason than the fact that I like the idea of the young boy getting the hot older girl (which probably explains why I like Kataang and am a diehard for a good Anakin/Padme fic, doesn’t it?). I could just as easily read Aqua paired with Terra, but I like Ventus more.
On an unrelated note I love Vanitas. Haley Joel Osment did such fantastic job on his voice. His laugh just screams badass douche bag. It’s hard not to love Vanitas for being such an awesome dick. Really it’s not his fault he’s evil incarnate. He couldn’t help the way he was created. Miyu Irino’s Vanitas laugh, on the other hand, had me laughing like the original designs for Tri-Klops and Trap-Jaw did when I watched the old He-Man cartoons. Too ridiculous to be scary. Haley nailed creepy for Vanitas…Miyu not so much.
Another unrelated note: Did anyone else notice the similarities between Terra’s story and the Star Wars prequel movies?
Terra = Anakin and Xehanort = Palpatine. I wasn’t the only one who noticed how eerily alike they were, was I?
What Really Grinds My Gears
Grammar, spelling, and basic knowledge of the English language. Now I can understand if English isn't you first language-if I tried to write a fanfic in Spanish I imagine my grammar would be God awful- but simple things like starting a new paragraph every time a different character speaks, proper use of capitalization and punctuation (I'm not perfect at it so I'm not asking for perfection either. Just effort), and using a spell check should not be too difficult. Occasional typos are understandable, it happens. Never, under any circumstances do you write a story the same way you text a buddy. I personally hate text messaging just for that reason.
Author notes belong at the end or beginning of the chapter and not in the story. They disrupt the flow of words. If you’re going to reply to every reviewer be considerate of the ones who aren’t interested in reading that and put it at the end of the chapter. While we are on the subject of author notes let me just say that author notes disguised as chapter updates are one the worst things an author can do to their faithful readers. If you feel like readers should know why you haven’t updated in a while put it in your profile. When you post it as a chapter update you’re just cruelly getting their hopes up.
English names in fanfics with Japanese settings. It is not that hard to look up Asian names on the internet-that's what Google and Yahoo are there for. Hell, you can even make one up. I’m not that anal about it, but I'm sorry if I'm reading a Naruto fanfic and some dude named Bob or Andrew, or some chick named Tina or Sally shows up and they're not some tourist from California or something I'm hitting the backspace button. And yeah it came to my knowledge that teme is not a suffix and I will no longer use it as such, but now it just looks weird when I read Sasuke-teme and know that it's wrong. And putting Japanese where it doesn't belong is just as bad. Don't compose whole sentences in Japanese with translations at the end of the paragraph, it's annoying. If you're writing a Chrono Crusade fic, please don't put any Japanese in it. The vast majority of the characters are American as the manga takes place in the 1920s of America. I mean does Rosette Christopher sound remotely Japanese to you?
There’s a little leeway with KH fanfics because it combines so many Disney characters (who are obviously American), but if you’re going to have Sora, Riku, and Kairi’s parents make an appearance at least put some effort into given them an Eastern name. Naming Sora’s mom Allison is just being lazy.
Will stop the ranting for now, but I might come back with more. Time for a new section I like to call-
Random Facts about Kaze!
I loathe spiders! I swear if I didn’t know better I’d think Athena was my mother because those eight-legged bastard keep finding me. It’s not like I’m afraid of them, but if I’m in a room with twenty other people the spider will bypass all of them and crawl on me. Which in retrospect is actually really stupid of it to do because once I spot it I go out my way to kill it!
I still play with Legos, but I’m only interested in the Star Wars Lego sets. I’ve been putting together model kits since I was in Jr. High. I started with Gundams, but then they stopped selling them in stores. So I moved onto Zoids, but then they stopped selling them as well. So I moved on to model cars, but then they stopped selling the metal car kits and I was not and still am not fond of the plastic ones. So now I put together Star Wars Lego sets.
I collect Star Wars action figures and including the Darth Vader figures I have more versions of Anakin Skywalker than any other character. A grand total of 12 the last time I counted. It makes perfect sense when you consider that he is my favorite character.
I once got so bored during a military training exercise that I wrote down the dialogue from The Lion King from the start of the movie to the end almost word for word exact in a little notebook.
My dog (the one before Toboe) ran away while I was on tour in Iraq so when I got home I decided I’d try my luck with a cat. It didn’t end well. I am not, nor will I ever be, a cat person.
This is where I give ya back that IOU.