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Joined 03-04-17, id: 8886156, Profile Updated: 11-06-23
Author has written 19 stories for Worm, Bolo series, Harry Potter, Mass Effect, Doom, and Cthulhu Mythos.

I'm a person, as far as you know. I write things sometimes. Some of them are worth showing to others, so I'll put them here.

Hopefully people will find them amusing or interesting.

Most of the stories were written and posted to SpaceBattles and Sufficient Velocity originally, usually involving feedback, ideas, and a lot of arguing for no good reason. I'll bring them over to here as I have time and inclination.

Anonymous reviews will be deleted, except in the rare case where I believe there is a good point made. I have found that the vast majority of them are flames or insults, which I don't have either the inclination, time, or ability to respond to. So away with them it is.

While we're on the subject, demands for me to write the story the way you want it will also be ignored. Sorry, but if I pander to that sort of thing it's a never-ending spiral to the bottom.

That's it. No more from me right now!

Update status below this line...

14th of March, 2017 - posted the first 24 chapters of Taylor Varga. Around a hundred and fifty to go currently :)

15th of March, 2017 - just been informed that the scene break markers didn't make it for some bizarre reason. I'm reinstalling them...

OK, I've now gone through all the chapters and fixed the formatting. Annoying FF for eating things randomly when the documents are imported! Bad FF! Stop it!

I'll try to fix this on the fly for new chapters, rather than after the fact. Sorry for the inconvenience of needing to work out where the scene breaks were manually :)

And now another 6 chapters as well.

And five more. That's enough for now, more soon.

16th of March, 2017 - added another 10 chapters. Enjoy.

17th of March, 2017 - added another 5 chapters, may add more later.

Also added the first part of one of the two other stories I started when I got into doing some Worm fanfic. It had promise, would have been much shorter than Taylor Varga, but I never did much more than a couple of chapters. I may well come back to it some day...

18th of March, 2017 - added another 10 chapters.

19th of March, 2017 - added another 5 chapters. Snowed under with work at the moment, so updates may be erratic!

21st of March, 2017 - added another 5 chapters.

23rd of March, 2017 - added another 8 chapters.

24th of March, 2017 - added another chapter.

And another one.

25th of March, 2017 - added Tuesday :)

And 4 more chapters

27th of March, 2017 - added another 3 chapters

4th of April, 2017 - as is often the case, life got in the way recently. However, another 7 chapters added.

5th of April, 2017 - added another 5 chapters

16th of April, 2017 - finally had some more time, added another 5 chapters. Probably more to come later

18th of April, 2017 - Added another 6 chapters

27th of April, 2017 - Posted a new story :)

10th of May, 2017 - Been up to my neck in work recently, hence the lack of updates. I'll get right back onto that as soon as I can! I've also finally got around to getting my half-complete Wordpress site off the ground, where I will post my stories in a format that's closer to what I originally intended than can be done here. It's lagging behind even here at the moment, though, for the same reason of not enough time!

Added another 8 chapters. I have a second batch of 8 uploaded, but they need to be formatted since the uploading breaks a few things that need to be manually fixed afterwards. I might get them done today, but if not it'll be tomorrow. Only about... (x=many) to go :)

11th of May, 2017 - Added another 8 chapters, ran out of time yesterday. More to come as time goes on!

12th of May, 2017 - Added another 10 chapters

13th of May, 2017 - Added another chapter. The next one to come is a PHO interlude and reformatting them for here is a pain, so it might be a day or two before I have time. I'll get on it as soon as I do! Thanks to everyone for the reviews :)

21st of May, 2017 - Added another 10 chapters. This means that AO3 and here are now synced up. I'll be posting new chapters to both from now on, slowly but surely. There is another 300 thousand words already written, and much more to come. So many words! Keep reading, I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do :)

And a couple of bonus chapters, just because I'm that nice!

1st of June, 2017 - God, is it half-way through the year already? Wow. Anyway, had a gap in work and added another five chapters. Still lots to go!

5th of June, 2017 - Another 8 chapters added for your delectation...

As always, thanks very much for the reviews. And to people who get all bent out of shape about the Omakes, bear in mind that they're clearly marked as such, so you always have the option of not reading them. Feeling 'let down' is a slightly weird thing to say considering you're getting free entertainment.

In my opinion, anyway :)

7th of June, 2017 - Added another 4 chapters

12th of June, 2017 - Added another 6 chapters

19th of June, 2017 - Added another 4 chapters

20th of June, 2017 - Added another 5 chapters

And another 5 chapters as a sudden 'I'm at a loose end' bonus!

28th of June, 2017 - Added another 5 chapters. That breaks the million word boundary in FF terms!

15th of August, 2017 - Been really tied up in other things for a while, but I finally had a chance to add 3 more chapters. More soon as I have the time. Enjoy!

17th of August, 2017 - Added 7 more chapters for your perusal

And 2 more, just to take it up to the next non-omake chapter, which is an PHO interlude. Enjoy your bonus!

19th of August, 2017 - Added another 6 chapters. PHO interludes are a pain in the ass...

20th of August, 2017 - Added another 7 chapters, including... some omakes! Fear them...

Amusingly, there's still about 50 chapters to go, so while I'm catching up to where the story currently is, I've only gained 100 chapters in five months. Xeno's Fanfiction Paradox at work, possibly :)

I also added a new story, or rather story fragment, one I worked on quite a while ago. More details in the authors notes at the start.

Edit: Damn, scene breaks got eaten again. They're back now!

21st of August, 2017 - As an eclipse special treat, I've added another 4 chapters! I probably won't have time to do many updates for a little while due to work, so that will have to hold you all.

22nd of August, 2017 - Since it wouldn't leave me alone once I started thinking about it, I've posted a possible end to Insect Outside.

23rd of August, 2017 - Found a little time to add another 5 chapters. Including the dreaded Omake :O

People of the Antiomakian faith will be pleased to note that following this there aren't any of the horrible, horrible things for several chapters. Praise Kaiju! :D

24th of August, 2017 - Just 1 chapter added today, too many other things to do!

25th of August, 2017 - 1 chapter added during a brief hole in my otherwise busy schedule :)

26th of August, 2017 - 1 chapter added, again I found a short moment of free time

29th of August, 2017 - 3 chapters added, policy on anonymous reviews updated

5th of September, 2017 - 3 chapters added. It's nearly six months since I started posting here, I notice. Hurrah. Thanks to everyone who reviewed my various writings, I hope you continue to read them as there is a lot more to come!

7th of September, 2017 - 2 chapters added

8th of October, 2017 - 10 chapters added. Sorry about the delay, nearly a month this time! Too many other things to do :( I will attempt in future to have real life make way for hobbies, instead of the other way around... :D

10th of October, 2017 - 4 chapters added

24th of October, 2017 - 15 chapters added.

As I have noted in the first new chapter, a question has come up a few times about the omakes, so I thought I'd take this update cycle to address it.

This story is posted first on Sufficient Velocity, and while it obviously has its detractors as is invariably the case, it also has a fairly active fan base. Many of them are authors in their own right and have come up with some very amusing omakes for the story, which always pleases me. I also have the occasional sidetrack which turns into an omake of its own. Now, some people have suggested that these should all be collected into a separate section, or series of separate postings, so as not to interrupt the flow of the story itself.

There are, mainly due to the way this site works, a number of problems with that. The most obvious one is that this would produce a lot of spoilers for the main story, as well as confusing people since there wouldn't be the background information that they'd probably want if they read them before reading 'Taylor Varga.' Another issue is that some of these omakes, mostly mine, although in a few cases those of others, have or will eventually become canon parts of the story. As and when that happens, I would either have to move them over to the main story line out of sequence, or delete and repost an enormous number of chapters to get them into the right place. Neither option appeals.

The end result is that the current method, while admittedly non-optimal, is still better from my point of view than the alternatives. If you truly don't care about the omakes, all I can do is suggest you simply skip them. They're all prominently labeled and this shouldn't pose a problem. I'm sorry if you feel this isn't ideal, I tend to agree, but we're sort of stuck with it now :)

The current rash of guest omakes dies down soon, since a couple of people were quite inspired for various reasons at that point in time.

31st of October, 2017 - 14 chapters added, the main story ones suitable Halloween-themed! Just under 60 thousand words to entertain you today. Enjoy!

13th of November, 2017 - 6 chapters added.

24th of December, 2017 - 10 chapters added. Merry Christmas, or other non-denominational holiday period of your choice. Sorry for the long gap in posting, I've been horrendously busy for the last month or so. I'll try to put more up before the New Year. But in the meantime, enjoy!

4th of January, 2018 - 10 chapters added. Wheee! First update of 2018! I was a little too busy with the holiday things over the holiday period to put anything else up, so sorry for that. But you get more words now to start the year with. Rejoice!

2nd of April, 2018 - 10 chapters added. Sorry about the ridiculous delay in updating. Work picked up like mad around the beginning of the year and I've been up to my armpits in urgent things. You know how it goes :) Anyway, around 55 thousand words to share and enjoy this time!

6th of April, 2018 - 1 chapter added. I thought I'd make up for the long delay between January and April with another chapter for you all, a nice long one this time :) Just over a year since I started posting here, but we're up to 326 chapters so far. Much to go yet...

And we're nearly at one million views! That I find quite pleasing.

28th of May, 2018 - 9 chapters added. Another long delay, I'm afraid. Way too many other things to do, but never fear, I'm still at it and will be until I finish, one way or the other! :) And we're past 1 million views by a comfortable margin, well over 1000 followers, and nearly at a thousand reviews too. This makes me happy.

30th of May, 2018 - Added a chapter to the BOLO/Worm cross. I didn't expect to do so, but it crept up on me :)

5th of June, 2018 - As an experiment, and because it's become more or less a standalone story, I've moved the four HP universe omakes to their own story file, and added four more chapters to that. They've been removed from the main story file and links to the new location put in their place. I really wish one could put real URLs in files on this site!

Anyway, griping aside, enjoy the chapters and new sidestory, and feel assured there is much more to come yet :)

1st of July, 2018 - The BOLO/Worm cross now seems to be a thing, with four chapters so far. I expect more will be added in due course! More Taylor Varga to come too in the near future.

5th of July, 2018 - Two more chapters added to the BOLO story. Don't get too used to this pace of updates, I've just had a few ideas wanting to get written down :) I need to get back to the lizards very soon. They're starting to do weird shit again...

6th of July, 2018 - One more chapter for the BOLO story. This will probably be the last for now as I have a lot of work to do, but I'll be back... :)

20th of July, 2018 - Time flies, doesn't it! And I'm busy, busy, busy. But I bring you two more chapters of the BOLO story, and a pair of omakes, since I know how you all LOVE omakes ;) The story unfolds gradually...

More Taylor Varga shortly, most likely.

28th of July, 2018 - Another BOLO chapter, a long one this time!

15th of October, 2018 - Wow. Long gap, right? Life being life, unfortunately. Anyway, I've posted a long Omake to the BOLO story, after various friends suggested a crossover with Mass Effect would be interesting. Hopefully it is :) More to come...

25th of December, 2018 - Merry Christmas! I bring the gift of words! Enjoy! Or a lizard will cling to your ceiling and grin at you all night long... :)

1st of January, 2019 (barely) - Happy New Year to everyone! I decided that you'd all been good little readers and deserved four more chapters. Don't read them all at once, you need to make them last until I return again... ;)

16th of January, 2019 - Hope the new year is so far going well for everybody! One short omake and one long chapter added to Taylor Varga. That's all this time, but more will follow :)

One more thing though; Recently I've had quite a few guest reviews that are basically just either (1) complaints about the story not being to the reviewer's taste, or (2) picking minor nits about a perceived spelling or grammar error, a fair number of which are due to differences between usage of Canadian and US English rather than an actual error, or (3) complaints like 1 or 2 about a different story of mine that isn't the one being reviewed. Or any combination of the above.

Please don't bother doing this. It's a pointless exercise for both of us. If I could turn guest reviews off completely I would, but unfortunately that's not possible. 95% of them are merely bitching exercises in the first place, and without an account attached, I have no way to reply to them anyway other than here, which is a waste of time, or as an author's note in the story, which is also a waste of time and also a useless waste of space. As I've said before, I will delete almost all anonymous reviews on sight, with rare exceptions if they make a valid point or are not just complaints. If you don't like the story, fine, nothing pleases everyone and that's entirely normal. Accept the fact that tastes differ and other people DO like it and move on to something more to your personal liking.

As the saying goes, "Don't like, don't read." Pithy, but valid :)

Mini rant over.

Peace out, dudes, and more words will be along in due course.

21st of January, 2019 - Added a new story I've been working on. It started as an Omake of Taylor Varga but grew rather larger than I expected in the week or so I've been fiddling with it. It'll probably top out at roughly 100k words, at a guess. Considering it told me it would be in the 10k range, I feel used... :)

23rd of January, 2019 - Added one new chapter to the giant Omake O'Craziness.

25th of January,2019 - Added one chapter of SuperGiantOmake!

28th of January,2019 - Added one chapter as above.

1st of March, 2019 - Already two months through the year! Have two more EnormOmake chapters :)

7th of March, 2019 - Added one chapter to the Huge Omake that Ate the World!

8th of March, 2019 - Added another one! Hurrah!

11th of March, 2019 - And another. Only four to go now. Enjoy

13th of March, 2019 - Added the obligatory PHO interlude. Those are SUCH a pain to format, especially here as the editing is very restrictive :(

14th of March, 2019 - Next chapter added.

15th of March, 2019 - Last two chapters added. The huge Omake be done! I hope the readers liked it, but it was a lot of fun to write regardless.

More Taylor Varga soon...

16th of June, 2019 - Added another chapter of The Long Slow Lizarding of Hermione Granger

23rd of June, 2019 - Added a short omake to For the Honor of the Regiment just to keep my eye in :)

27th of June, 2019 - Added another chapter of For the Honor of the Regiment! Yay!

Quick note while I think about it... If you don't like any of my stories, fair enough, but please don't waste either of our respective lives with constantly complaining about it. Especially in guest reviews. Those just get laughed at by both myself and some friends, then deleted. Go find something more useful to do, OK? :)

28th of June, 2019 - Added another, rather short, chapter of For the Honor of the Regiment! Purely because it wouldn't leave me alone.

1st of July, 2019 - Added another chapter to For the Honor of the Regiment.

3rd of July, 2019 - And another!

4th of July, 2019 - And yet another, this one with explosions! Yay!

5th of July, 2019 - Yet another one. Probably the last for a while, since I'm getting back to writing more Taylor Varga.

19th of July, 2019 - Looks like I had another chapter of For the Honor of the Regiment after all :)

28th of July, 2019 - Added another 10 chapters of Taylor Varga! Finally! Sorry about the long wait, life has been complicated...

18th of August, 2019 - Added the first three chapters of a new story designed to cause severe problems to the Mass Effect universe for reasons of amusement... Incompatible System has landed!

23rd of August, 2019 - Added another chapter to Incompatible System

31st of October, 2019 - Added Halloween Omake to For the Honor of the Regiment

1st of November, 2019 - Added followup to previous omake :)

11th of November, 2019 - Added another chapter to Incompatible System. The plot... advances!

24th of November, 2019 - Added a new story. Taylor Goes to Hell Mars! She's none too pleased about it...

27th of November, 2019 - Added another (short) chapter of DOOMed

6th of December, 2019 - Added another chapter of Incompatible System

8th of December, 2019 - Added another chapter of Incompatible System

9th of December, 2019 - Added stealth chapter of Incompatible System

23 of December, 2019 - Added Christmas Words! Another chapter of Incompatible System

31st of December, 2019 - Added another chapter of Incompatible System. This is probably the last time you'll hear from me this decade :) See you in the next one...

7th of January, 2020 - Whoo! New Year, and kind of a new decade if you ignore the problem of the actual numbering... :) So I start it off with a little omake for Incompatible System. More to come on this and many other stories this year!

10th of January, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed

11th of January, 2020 - Added another chapter of Incompatible System

15th of January, 2020 - Added another chapter of Incompatible System

27th of January, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed

1st of February, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed

2nd of February, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed

4th of February, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed

14th of February, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed. Feel the Love!

24th of February, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed

5th of March, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed

24th of March, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed. Stay safe, everyone, and keep away from other people. You don't know where they've been...

8th of April, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed

16th of April, 2020 - Added another chapter of DOOMed. Hope everyone is staying away from the horrible, horrible people!

29th of May, 2020 - Doesn't time fly when we're all inside? A chapter of For the Honor of the Regiment appears!

26th of June, 2020 - Finally got around to adding another 10 chapters to Taylor Varga! Rejoice! Also an omake to The Long Slow Lizarding Of Hermione Granger. More to come, stay tuned, don't let them breathe on you, and so on ;)

3rd of July, 2020 - Added another 5 chapters to Taylor Varga. Stay well, everyone :)

5th of July, 2020 - Added small omake to DOOMed just for fun ;)

22nd of July, 2020 - Still alive! Hurrah! Have another 5 chapters of Taylor Varga :)

23rd of August, 2020 - Added a small omake to DOOMed because it wanted out ;)

25th of August, 2020 - Another small omake for DOOMed seems to have appeared!

27th of August, 2020 - Added the third part of the DOOMed omake.

30th of August, 2020 - Added yet another part of the DOOMed omake.

7th of September, 2020 - Added a new story, only four chapters yet but more on the way!

7th of September, 2020 (still) - Added a short chapter to A Kernel of truth

17th of September, 2020 - Added another part of the DOOMed omake of enormousness.

22nd of September, 2020 - To mark the day in which I finished writing it, another part of the DOOMed omake! One more part, I think, then back to the main story.

7th of October, 2020 - Looks like there are actually two more parts to the DOOMed omake. This being one of them...

9th of October, 2020 - Added a chapter of DOOMed.

11th of October, 2020 - Added seven chapters of Taylor Varga. One of them is quite big! Enjoy :)

24th of October, 2020 - Added a shortish chapter of Incompatible System.

27th of October, 2020 - Added four chapters of Taylor Varga.

While I have your attention, can I point out that leaving reviews where you say that you're not going to read a story any more for xxx reasons is, in my opinion, something of a waste of time? I've seen that happen a few times and it always makes me wonder what the point is. I, as the author, am not going to change my story because you don't like it. You, as the reader with an issue, presumably (I hope) don't expect me to change the story because you don't like it. So spending some time writing a screed of how terrible it is, or any story by any author is, seems to be a completely useless activity. If you find that you don't like it, why not simply drop it and move on to something you might like more? Accept that other people do like it and live with that. I do, in either case :)

Anyway, just wanted to say that since I find the whole thing bizarre. Peace out dudes as they say and I will return whether you like it or not...

Oh, yes, while I think about it... None of my stories are ever dead until I say they are. Some of them don't update frequently but they're still very much active.

𝜋 out.

29th of November, 2020 - Added a oneshot, wherein Vista Does Something About It.

24th of December, 2020 - Added 12 chapters of Taylor Varga. My present to you all. I hope everyone has a decent holiday period as far as possible, and thanks for staying with me. There will be much more in the general word area in future :)

1st of January, 2021 - Added a new story, Distance Learning for Fun and Profit. A good start to the new year! Let's hope this one works out a bit better than the last one, which I personally think we should take back for a refund as unfit for purpose... :)

5th of January, 2021 - The New Year continues with the addition of a chapter to Incompatible System

6th of January, 2021- Another small chapter for Incompatible System just to answer some questions the previous one raised. Enjoy! And America? Grow up, will you, this is just embarrassing... ;)

14th of January, 2021 - A chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit!

16th of January, 2021 - Another chapter of the same thing!

24th of January, 2021 - And another one! Whee!

31st of January, 2021 - Isn't the year just shooting past! Makes me dizzy. Anyway, another chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit has appeared. Enjoy :)

2nd of February, 2021 - Another chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit!

3rd of March, 2021 - Another chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit!

13th of March, 2021 - And another chapter, this one an omake, of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit :)

17th of March, 2021 - Yet another one! The second part of the one-part omake, by popular demand.

21st of March, 2021 - And it keeps coming!

27th of March, 2021 - And another one! When will it end?!

1st of April, 2021 - Still another one!

5th of April, 2021 - Whoops I did it again... ;)

18th of April, 2021 - And again... :)

2nd of May, 2021 - Finally, some more Taylor Varga! Only six chapters this time, but there are a couple of big ones in there! More later.

4th of May, 2021 - Another chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit. Enjoy it. Or else... :)

8th of May, 2021 - A small chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit...

13th of May, 2021 - Another five chapters of Taylor Varga. Wheee, we're really going now, aren't we? :D And an omake for Distance Learning for Fun and Profit.

15th of May, 2021 - Another chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit.

19th of May, 2021 - An Omake chapter for Distance Learning for Fun and Profit!

23rd of May, 2021 - Another part of the Omake for Distance Learning for Fun and Profit!

18th of June, 2021 - No update at this point, just a little note from the author: Sorry about the delay to a number of stories. I've been snowed under with work for some time and it's somewhat eaten up any spare time I might have for wording, along with other things I've been involved in with family and the like. However this situation shouldn't go on much longer with a little luck and I'll be producing new chapters of various stories as soon as I can. So never give up, and never surrender! The wordz will return!

Also, while I think about it, and because this has been asked a few times recently, none of my stories are abandoned or dead until and unless I give them permission to leave. They're only resting, and will at some point jerk back into wakefulness, look wildly around, and shout "What was that?!" ;)

21st of June, 2021 - Happy Long Day, everyone! Have another omake chapter for Distance Learning for Fun and Profit. More wordz will come along soon, with a little luck :)

26th of June, 2021 - Added another chapter of Kernel of Truth. Enjoy :)

5th of July, 2021 - Added another chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit.

7th of July, 2021 - Added a possibly one day canon omake of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit

8th of July, 2021 - Added another chapter of Distance Learning for Fun and Profit.

26th of July, 2021 - Moved the huge omake for Distance Learning for Fun and Profit into its own story, as it seems to be turning into that. Also added a chapter to it. Hopefully this will stop people who can't move past an omake from complaining about reading an omake. If it doesn't, sorry, I can't help :D

25th of August, 2021 - Added a chapter of the Distance Learning spinoff story. Enjoy!

1st of September, 2021 - A small chapter for The Long Slow Lizarding of Hermione Granger...

18th of September, 2021 - Added a chapter of Distress Calls Can Go A Long Way.

10th of November, 2021 - Added a chapter of Distress Calls Can Go A Long Way. Had a nasty cold for a couple of weeks, although it's on the mend, and quite a few other things in the background before that. Hence the delay in updating anything :) I'll try to do better... ;)

16th of November, 2021 - Due to insomnia, added a chapter of Distress Calls Can Go A Long Way. My pain is your gain :)

20th of November, 2021 - Added a chapter of A Kernel Of Truth. A little late, but better that than never, eh? :)

24th of December, 2021 - Added 10 chapters of Taylor Varga. Been a while since I updated that one, hasn't it? We're now past 2 million words, so the next big goal is three million!

Life this last year or so has been both something that dragged on forever, and whizzed past so fast one could barely see it... Not really ideal in either case. However, I'm still alive, so are all my friends and family, and with a little luck the next year will be better. We shall, I suspect, see.

In any case, I intend to keep on writing for as long as I have ideas, and I've got way too many ideas... :) I hope that everyone else manages to get by as well, one way or another. Have as far as can be managed under the current circumstances a good holiday period, and enjoy the words as a little part of that.

Later, guys.

25th of December, 2021 - Added a little seasonal amusement to a story that hasn't been worked on enough for a while. Hopefully it will bring joy to all :)

23rd of January, 2022 - Welcome to the land of the future! Or something like that. Anyway, have a new story in the form of Hermione learns a thing. It will hopefully fill the gap in your lives where words should live. More words will be along for various stories in the nearish future :)

25th of January, 2022 - Another six chapters of Taylor Varga. More to come. So, so much more... :D

31st of January, 2022 - A chapter of Hermione learns a thing in which more things are learned.

2nd of February, 2022 - A short chapter of Hermione learns a thing. Nothing is learned.

8th of February, 2022 - A chapter of Hermione learns a thing in which yet more things are learned.

10th of February, 2022 - A chapter of Hermione learns a thing in which people learn about the things.

15th of February, 2022 - Another chapter of Hermione learns a thing in which more people learn about more things!

8th of May, 2022 - Wow, it's been longer than I thought! Sorry, life getting in the way of writing, you know how it goes :) Anyway, another chapter of Hermione learns a thing. I'll try to pick up my writing pace in the near future so I can extreude words at a suitable rate... ;)

16th of June, 2022 - Whipping along here aren't we? Words only a month or so after the last words! :D Anyway, a chapter of A Kernel of Truth has appeared...

20th of July, 2022 - Have a silly one-shot to keep the heat bearable :)

24th of July, 2022 - My muse got drunk again and I ended up starting yet another new story. So here are the first three chapters of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox For your delectation. Delect away! More words in other stories will be along soon too, so keep watching :)

25th of July, 2022 - More words in Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox also seem to have come along shortly :) Isn't that nice?

27th of July, 2022 - And again! Hurrah!

31st of July, 2022 - I believe I probably won't post more of the story in July :) But have another chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox

5th of August, 2022 - Another chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox

7th of August, 2022 - And another!

10th of August, 2022 - It happened again! WTF? :D

18th of August, 2022 - A longer delay this time due to the amount of time that passed! But here is a chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox

27th of August, 2022 - Another chapter! The Toolbox Is Growing... :)

28th of August, 2022 - So... Funny story. It was late, I'd had a long day, I made a mistake... And I skipped a chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox. Whoops :)

If you're confused, don't worry, so am I. I've moved the chapter from last night, which should have been chapter 13, to the right position and cunningly inserted the real chapter 12 into where it was! So you get an extra chapter ahead of schedule, and have to go back and read it to work out how we got from where we were in chapter 11 to where we are now! Isn't that fun?

Enjoy :)

14th of September, 2022 - Sorry about the long delay, I've been doing many computer related things which has got in the way of doing the wording thing... But here is another chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox for your delectation :)

22nd of September, 2022 - No update right now, but a quick note: This site appears to be on its last legs, from what I can make out. There are quite a few parts of it that aren't working now, such as story statistics and notifications of PMs. I suspect that these may well not be fixed in a timely manner, or possibly at all, since it appears that the site owners have largely abandoned the site.

Clearly this is annoying on a number of levels, but it can't be helped. I just wanted to say that I'll continue to update my stories here for as long as possible, but if this place finally falls over completely and irretrievably, I also post on AO3, as well as Sufficient Velocity and (with the exception of Taylor Varga), on Spacebattles. So should this come about, look there for my work :)

I would advise that anyone who has favorite stories here, especially ones that are nowhere else and not likely to be duplicated elsewhere for any reason, to download and save them just in case. There are tools on the web to allow this to be done reasonably easily. I would recommend fichub dot net as it seems to work well.

Anyway, that was all I wanted to say right now. I'll be back with more words in the near future...

27th of October, 2022 - Again, an unacceptable delay! I shall chastise myself most firmly for the way in which I have brought dismay to the public... Have some more wordz in the way of A Kernel of Truth. With luck I will manage to make an update more quickly next time.

6th of November, 2022 - A new chapter of Hermione learns a Thing has appeared! Yay! You'll find it in the usual place :)

6th of November, 2022, again - And another one. Turns out I had one stuck in the output bin :D

13th of November, 2022 - A new chapter of Hermione learns a Thing. Enjoy it. Or else... ;)

15th of November, 2022 - Another chapter of Hermione learns a Thing!

16th of November, 2022 - And another chapter!

16th of November, 2022, again - As a special bonus round, another chapter once more :)

26th of November, 2022 - A new chapter of Hermione learns a Thing.

30th of November, 2022 - Added a chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox

25th of December, 2022 - Well, here we are at another post-winter-solstice end-of-year period thingy in which celebrations, too much food, and lots of family arguments occur. Yay! To mark the occasion, allow me to give you all two chapters of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox! Enjoy with my best wishes for all, and possibly a small amount of salt and pepper.

I shall return shortly, but until then have a good one :)

20th of February, 2023 - No update at this time so far, but I wanted to post a little note that I'm not dead yet, merely snowed under with work and other real life issues :( So it goes.

I will be back as soon as possible with all the wordz. All of them!

27th of February, 2023 - I said I would be back. It was not a lie, unlike the cake... A new chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox to enjoy, and more wordz will follow in due course! Yay!

7th of March, 2023 - Next chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox in which some things happen...

19th of March, 2023 - A new chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox! And I've now been posting here for six years! Hurrah!

26th of March, 2023 - Another chapter! Boom! ;)

30th of March, 2023 - And another!

28th of April, 2023 - Another new story managed to escape confinement and become a real thing, despite my best efforts. 10 Chapters so far, so enjoy Bugs In The System. Don't worry, I will still be working on all the other stories too!

3rd of May, 2023 - Added a chapter to Bugs In The System. Happy Birthday! (It's got to be someone's birthday today, right? :) Happy it then.)

4th of May, 2023 - And another chapter of Bugs In The System just because I wrote it!

18th of May, 2023 - A chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox has appeared from Beneath!

21st of May, 2023 - And another one!

22nd of May, 2023 - Seems I did it again...

23rd of May, 2023 - And again. Definitely seem to be letting the wordz flow... :)

9th of June, 2023 - Bugs in the System has left the system... :D

4th of July, 2023 - Sorry about the long delay in new words. Got a family member who's been in hospital for a month and life has been complicated as a result, leaving me with little inclination or time for writing... Anyway, it's slowly getting better, so to celebrate not only that but the Great Treason of the US, I give you a chapter of Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox!

5th of July, 2023 - Another shortish chapter of GGUST for your entertainment :)

7th of July, 2023 - And again!

19th of July, 2023 - And yet again! It just keeps coming! :)

30th of July, 2023 - Yet another one! Bit of a delay, blame real life. I do.

7th of August, 2023 - It happened once more. Rejoice!

11th of August, 2023 - Apparently it's still happening...

17th of August, 2023 - Yep. Still happening :)

20th of August, 2023 - Guess what? ;)

21st of August, 2023 - It won't stop! Help!

29th of August, 2023 - Still not stopping...

3rd of September, 2023 - Latest GGUST chapter appears to have appeared!

7th of September, 2023 - The 300kword barrier has fallen! Second longest story so far! Hurrah!

7th of October, 2023 - Has it been a month already? Too many things to do! But some wordz have occurred. Have fun!

13th of October, 2023 - Have some lucky Friday wordz!

15th of October, 2023 - Erwin has been busy... More GGUST wordz!

19th of October, 2023 - GGUST happens again...

22nd of October, 2023 - And again!

29th of October, 2023 - Guess what?

5th of November, 2023 - Added seasonable omake to Hermione Learns a Thing! Also, I will note again, due to some recent questions, that none of my stories are dead until I personally take them out back and shoot them in the head execution style :) They're merely resting. And may well have beautiful plumage... So they'll be back sooner or later.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Great Grand-Uncle Schimmelhorn's Toolbox reviews
The life of the Heberts changes rather a lot when Danny and Taylor use the rarest superpower of all and actually communicate with each other. Of course things go a little weird when in the process of this they poke around in the attic and come across Papa Schimmelhorn's old toolbox... Turns out Taylor has something of a knack. Probably runs in the family.
Worm - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 46 - Words: 362,800 - Reviews: 1058 - Favs: 2,010 - Follows: 2,163 - Updated: 11/23 - Published: 7/24/2022
Bugs In The System reviews
Small changes butterfly into big ones. Although butterflies aren't quite the correct insect... And life, once more, becomes a touch odd for everyone in range of a Hebert. Don't let it Bug you.
Worm - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 45,583 - Reviews: 238 - Favs: 1,005 - Follows: 1,030 - Updated: 11/14 - Published: 4/28
Hermione learns a thing reviews
Young Hermione Granger is curious about all sorts of things. This leads to discoveries and oddness that is likely to only increase with time...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 134,370 - Reviews: 497 - Favs: 1,169 - Follows: 1,298 - Updated: 11/5 - Published: 1/22/2022
A Kernel Of Truth reviews
A long time ago, in a city filled with oddities, no one realized just how odd some of those oddities were... Actually, it wasn't all that long ago, but it was still very odd. Of course it was, Taylor Hebert was involved! (Another story that started as a one-shot and sort of... grew)
Worm - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 56,477 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 1,452 - Follows: 1,602 - Updated: 10/27/2022 - Published: 9/6/2020
A Mysterious Disappearance that is Mysterious reviews
Something is strangely wrong at 4 Privet Drive... But never fear, Albus Dumbledore is on the case!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,997 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 143 - Published: 7/20/2022 - Complete
Taylor Varga reviews
Taylor has a bad day that ends in a locker. Everyone has heard that one. It goes somewhat differently after that, as her call for help is answered by something from a lot further away than one might expect... A story in which Taylor makes a very large friend, the world gets confused, and Danny comes into his own.
Worm - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 432 - Words: 2,058,592 - Reviews: 2717 - Favs: 3,907 - Follows: 3,540 - Updated: 1/25/2022 - Published: 3/14/2017
For The Honor Of The Regiment reviews
Some time ago when I started thinking about a Worm fic, three ideas came to mind. This is one of them, which now seems to have started to turn into a real story. Updates will be sporadic in all probability. It's considerably darker than most of my other work, but nowhere near the level of insane grimness of most Worm fics. (title changed on 2018-07-10)
Crossover - Bolo series & Worm - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 25 - Words: 144,491 - Reviews: 561 - Favs: 1,721 - Follows: 1,835 - Updated: 12/25/2021 - Published: 3/17/2017
Distress Calls Can Go A Long Way reviews
A spinoff from my Worm story 'Distance Learning for Fun and Profit', which has become large enough to split out as a separate thing. Also to stop people complaining... :) Note that you'll probably need to read the original story to make it make sense, and having a working knowledge of Worm is most likely also required.
Crossover - Mass Effect & Worm - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 74,158 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 1,771 - Follows: 1,902 - Updated: 11/15/2021 - Published: 7/25/2021 - Tali'Zorah, Skitter, Danny H., OC
The Long Slow Lizarding of Hermione Granger reviews
This side story started life as a series of Omakes in my Worm/Luna Varga crossover story "Taylor Varga." It's more or less outgrown that now, with enough words involved to make it viable as a (sort of) standalone story as an experiment. However, it most likely won't make sense unless you have a working knowledge of that story AND Harry Potter, so I'd suggest reading both first :)
Crossover - Harry Potter & Worm - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 64,876 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 737 - Follows: 786 - Updated: 9/1/2021 - Published: 6/5/2018 - Hermione G.
Distance Learning for Fun and Profit reviews
Taylor has skillz. And is smarter than the average girl... Strange things result. This is a story that started as a collection of snippets, which seems to have become large enough to warrant taking further. So here it is...
Worm - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 30 - Words: 146,285 - Reviews: 1225 - Favs: 3,180 - Follows: 3,285 - Updated: 7/8/2021 - Published: 1/1/2021
Incompatible System reviews
Technological incompatibility can cause serious issues even at a simple level. When it comes to interstellar travel, those issues can be quite profound...
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 127,546 - Reviews: 971 - Favs: 3,880 - Follows: 4,476 - Updated: 1/5/2021 - Published: 8/18/2019
Vista has enough reviews
Vista is not a happy girl, and eventually this has consequences...
Worm - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,542 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 1,291 - Follows: 714 - Published: 11/29/2020 - Complete
Taylor is DOOMed reviews
Taylor wakes in an unfamiliar place. An unfamilar place is about to have a very, very bad day.
Crossover - Doom & Worm - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 24 - Words: 125,506 - Reviews: 868 - Favs: 2,527 - Follows: 2,588 - Updated: 10/8/2020 - Published: 11/24/2019
Taylor's Alternate reviews
An omake for Taylor Varga that I may have got a little carried away with :) Knowledge of both canon Worm and canon Taylor Varga is probably required for it to make sense...
Worm - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 135,761 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 779 - Follows: 534 - Updated: 3/14/2019 - Published: 1/21/2019 - Complete
That was easy! reviews
Just a VERY short and silly snippet, the result of a much longer but equally silly conversation on Sufficient Velocity. It passed the acid test of making me smile so I thought I'd put it here.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 174 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 50 - Published: 8/29/2017 - Complete
Leet's Revenge (why you should never let a drunk Tinker read fanfics!) reviews
Just a silly one-shot sparked by a scene in a popular Worm fic. It's quite possible people will be able to work out which one. There is thunder involved... :) (Hint: Techno Queen) I realized I hadn't posted this here and decided to rectify that.
Worm - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,160 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 76 - Published: 8/23/2017 - Victoria D./Glory Girl, Panacea - Complete
Insect Outside reviews
The beginnings of a story I started mid-2015 in the Worm-verse, but set aside when I began Taylor Varga. It's barely possible I may pick it up again one day. But I might not, depending on many things. (Updated on 2017-08-21 with second and probably final chapter. But who really knows?)
Worm - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 21,326 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 989 - Follows: 684 - Updated: 8/21/2017 - Published: 8/20/2017 - Complete
Unexpected Talent reviews
Harry can do something very few others can, it turns out. Which sparks an idea... I warn you now, this is entirely silly. And not at all canon. But it came to me more or less whole, made me laugh, then type it up, so you'll have to live with it...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,250 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 592 - Follows: 248 - Published: 4/27/2017 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
She Summons Sea Things by the Sea Shore reviews
Another weird idea I had while mulling over ideas for Taylor Varga which didn't quite fit in that story. Not exactly funny, it's rather more dark than I normally write. Sort of a horror story, mostly by implication. Only a short quick one-shot but it's not impossible I may revisit this one day. There's scope for more.
Crossover - Worm & Cthulhu Mythos - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,288 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 862 - Follows: 487 - Published: 3/14/2017 - Kid Win, E. Piggot, Assault