Author has written 11 stories for Outrageous Fortune, Twilight, and Sex and the City.
Wow, I haven't updated this in so long. Kind of like my stories. Oops.
Well, I'm 17, my birthday is on the 31st of December and I'm the new mother of a beautiful little boy, Lachlan. I live at home with my mum, little sister and big sister and of course my 2 dogs. I'm single and plan on staying that way for a while.
Writing was always an awesome outlet for me until at the age of 16 (Feels like a lifetime ago) I met a man, not a boy, and got distracted. I started cutting, drinking more, doing drugs and having sex. I hurt my mother, got disowned by my father (Like he was much of one anyway) and my older sister started hating me. It took me a while to stop with the bad habits but when I did I saw who I was in the cold light of day and I Didn't like it. I didn't like the man even more and broke it off. By then I was already pregnant. Woops. A pregnancy, a restraining order and several abusive blow-outs with my sister later, here I am. I haven't really been on here since before the guy came into the picture and I really miss it. It kind of makes me feel like who I was back then. A year may only have passed but I feel like a completely different person. I kind of wish I could go back. To being a lot younger and innocent then I realized I was. It's amazing how clear things can be on the other side.
Still I love my son with every bone in my body and even if I went through a lot, I wouldn't change a thing in how I Got him. Ok maybe I would've gone back once or twice LESS. But still, can't cry over spilt milk right?
I have been through a lot in these last few years. Depression, an abusive relationship, drugs, alcohol, family problems and basically just figuring out who I was. And these have been the saner years where I Thought everything was normal. Strange how perspectives have changed.
Anyway, my goal right now is to prepare you guys. For any of you who stuck by me through all my hiatuses and massive breaks between writing. To any of you who have story alerted, reviewed or favourited me in any way. First of all, I adore you. You guys probably don't understand what it's like, forming this little piece of the world out of nothing but your creativity and some story line someone else had laid out, and having someone like it. It's like having someone look into your soul. Harsh, but absolutely phenomenal when they don't run away screaming. Or clicking the back button scoffing as the equivelant may be here.
Carrying on though, I want to prepare you for the new me. I don't know if I'll write again soon but it truly is my hope that I'll write again some day. I know that as a new mother my mind is so full of nappies and breastfeeding and whether or not Im really being a good mum that I couldn't possibly write. But I want to and thats a big step for me seeing as I haven't even wanted to in the last year. But I have changed. I'm not the little girl I was before, who I didn't even realize I was until I wasn't Her anymore. I've actually seen some of human nature up close and personal and my perspectives have changed. I cant say if my writing style has changed, but it would only make sense if it did being as how your personality is your style. You grow, develop and so does your style. But I hope you'll still enjoy me.
I cant say for sure when I'll start to write again. I could get struck with inspiration tonight at 4 am with a completely unrelated one-shot. Or I could update "Stumbled" 6 months from now with a little boy asleep in his cot next to me. I really hope I'll find a way to start again though. I used to be the nerdy kid who escaped reality through books and writing. It hurt too much to live in my true world so I wrote one where I could manage. And then I got stuck in a slump.
I honestly think the first time I put up something new it'll feel like I've started breathing again. And I so want to be able to feel that again. My life is ever changing but I feel stuck in a slump. For now I just have to ride it out and wait for the exciting changes that are to come.
Anyway, my goal today was to update you guys on who I am today. My life right now. And it certainly is different from the last time I updated this thing. My last profile was all about Llamas and how I'd so do Jeff Hardy. Well to be honest I'd still ride Jeff Hardy like Zorro given the chance, but my priorities about everything else have changed. My new life goals include being the best mother to my son that I can be and not letting those clouds that still follow me envelope me. It kind of pales in comparison to "Making it to my 18th".
I really hope you guys stick by me and continue to be patient while I get myself together. It's been a massive process but I really feel like I'm moving forward and things are going to change for the better. And thank you all so much for every encouraging review you've ever left me. Some of them have pulled me from darkness so deep I couldn't even breathe so don't for one second think your reviews don't count to me. I cherish each and every one of them.
Thank you all for standing by me. Thank you for being happy every time I update. Thank you for being understanding. And please hang in there with me.
The best is yet to come...
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