Author has written 25 stories for Titanic, Phantom of the Opera, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, RENT, Corpse Bride, Wallace and Gromit, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Nightmare Before Christmas, Fairy Tales, and Sweeney Todd.
Welcome to my fanfiction page! Here you'll find stories of randomness and tragedy and romance!
The name's Harry's Girl 01031992 and writing fan fiction is my game. I am a huge Johnny Depp fan (but I bet you could already tell that by looking at my selection of stories, that in some way or another involve Johnny Depp) and an aspiring author.
If you don't like my stories, that's okay, just don't review them; go searching for another worthy of your praise.
My main comrades in this world of fanfiction are Nausicaa of the Spirits and Random Little Writer. You can see what sort of mischief we cause in HG01031992's Corpse Bride Parody , Those Darn Paparazzi, The Adventure of Randomness!, and Sally and the Seven Dwarves .
Location: USA! Go Americans!
-Very Pale... my mom told me that I was paler than people from the UK when we were at Disney World...
-short, dirty blonde hair with light blonde streaks
-lots of moles... I guess you could say I'm queen of the Mole People :)
THIS PROFILE THING WAS LAST UPDATED 10/7/2008
7/27/2006: Attention all Phans visiting my page! I have started a new Phic and I would really love it if you read it and reviewed it, 'cause no one's reviewed it! If you read it and review it... Well... I'll thank you profusely!
7/28/06: I have reached my maximum amount of 150 favorite stories. If I review yours, it will hypothetically be on my fav's. :)
7/31/06: Guess what! I was featured in "The Random Stupid Corpse Bride Parody" by random little writer! Check it out sometime:)
8/29/06: School is starting soon and I don't know how much time I'll be able to have for writing stories... If you want to commission something, ask sometime before 9/5. (when school starts)
8/30/06: I need some ideas for upcoming chapters in my W&G fic! Help me! I have serious writer's block! If you help... I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE!
9/13/06: I learned how to the first few bars of "Victor's Piano Solo" on piano on Sunday... but the weird thing is... I don't know how to play piano... but still... it's totally flippin' awesome!
10/01/06: Today I went to Walmart looking for groceries, but instead I got the biggest shock of my life: JOHNNY DEPP IS GETTING MARRIED. Well, this came from Star magazine, so I wouldn't totally rely on it but my mom says take it as if it's going to happen so when I actually confirm the news, I won't be bawling my bloody eyes out. But I really am happy for Johnny and Vanessa... I truthfully am. Even though this is a huge blow, I'll move on but still swoon whenever I hear his voice.
10/02/06: Today's my doggy's birthday! He turned five! Yay Buddy! You must be wondering why I'm writing about some random dog's birthday. Well, it just so happens that I love my dog to death! So GET OVER IT!
10/06/06: I've just discovered the musical "Wicked" two days ago and I am now a fanatic!
10/10/06: If you read the update I wrote on the second of October, I haven't heard anything more of news of a wedding between Vanessa and Johnny. This could be a false alarm, but then again, they could be married already. After all, the source of the news was Star Magazine... so... um... yeah...
10/31/06: Happy Halloween everyone!! I've got some good news and some bad news... The good news that the next chapter of "Gromit's Diary" will be up soon... and the bad news is that my schedule is swamped!! I'm in the school play this year, fundraising for my school's trip to Washington DC, and the usual homework. I will try to update my stories regularly, but I don't know how much time I'll have. I'll keep y'all posted. Love, Peace, Chicken Grease!
11/26/06: Happy Post Thanksgiving! Hope ya'al got some sleep from the triptiphan in the turkey (LOL)! For the past few days, I have been trying to submit a chapter for Those Darn Paparazzi! , but the chapter submitter thingy isn't letting me submit the bloody chapter! I hope the chapter submitter thingy will let me submit my chapter sometime this week! 'Til then, hope ya'al have fun going back to school after holiday break. I know I'm not going to want to get up tomorrow! Love, peace, chicken grease:-)
12/17/06: Howdy, y'all! I can't believe it's almost Christmas! I'm so excited I get more time to write fics and not worry about homework! I just hope that my teachers don't give out homework over the holiday break. (I'm keepin' my fingers crossed) And for those who don't celebrate Christmas: Happy Chanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, or just Happy Winter Solstice! I'm trying so hard this year to remember the religious meaning of the holiday season, but it's gonna be hard with all that darn commercialism. Try to keep warm this winter season! Much love!
12/25/06: Merry Christmas, people! Hope your Christmas is going good! I know mine is! Expect some updates for my fics sometime this week.
12/27/06: AUGH!! I have serious writer's block!! I can't think of anything to put in chapter seven of "I'm Married to Jack Sparrow?"! It's so annoying! On the brighter side of things, my Christmas was totally awesome partly because of all of the gifts I received and partly because I got to see all of my family! Unfortunately, I also received writer's block... :-( If my writer's block goes away, expect some updates!
12/28/06: I was looking up Edward Scissorhands on wikipedia.org and I saw something that caught my eye: Someone turned it into a musical. I was interested so I clicked on the link. There were video links so I clicked on one to only see the horrid sight of EDWARD SCISSORHANDS DANCING LIKE A TOTAL PANSY!! EDWARD IS NOT SUPPOSED TO DANCE LIKE A TOTAL PANSY! THAT IS SICK AND WRONG!! No offense, but I don't think one of the greatest films of all time should be turned into a musical. That would only tarnish the name of the great filmmaker, Tim Burton. No offense to people who have seen this musical, but that is a total disgrace to the name Tim Burton. Please don't send me hate messages because hate, like homicide, is wrong!
1/1/07: Happy New Year! I can't believe it's 2007. It seems like only yesterday it was the beginning of 2006. For Corpse Bride fans, I have another fic out. Check it out and tell me what you think of it!
1/5/07: OMG!! I'm fifteen and two days old! It still feels like I'm fourteen, though. Anywho... This next week, I'm gonna be really busy with my school play, so expect at least one update during my busy schedule.
2/5/07: OMG!! I just got braces today and they totally hurt. Well, at least I got the school day off because it's so flipping cold where I live. I'm serious! The wind chill was like -38 degrees! Um... another chapter of "THE ADVENTURE OF RANDOMNESS" is in progress, so expect that sometime this week.
3/8/07: Hey, ya'all. I've been really busy lately, as you can see. I've just been all over the place with English papers (Curse you, chocolate-crazed English teacher!), homework in general, a French project, and in less than a month, I'm goin' to Washington DC. I'll try to update one of my fics sometime soon, so keep your eyes open.
3/20/07: OMG! I just saw the new POTC3: AWE trailer on the internet today!! It's so frickin' awesome!! I didn't get a chance to see it last night because my sister was watching "My Super Sweet 16"... (Gag me with a spoon) So I blame her for missing it last night. I can't wait 'til it hits theaters, and I hope I get there opening day!
4/23/07: OMIGOD!! I just saw "POTC and POTC2 in 30 seconds (Reenacted with animated bunnies)" on! I suggest you go check it out!
5/10/07: Hey, everybody! Just to let you know, I'm really busy as of late, but expect an update of "Sally and the Seven Dwarves" sometime this weekend.
5/25/07: I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End last night! It was so flippin' awesome! I recommend going to the theater right now and seeing it!
6/7/07: Yay! It was the final day of school today, so I guess I'll have more time to update stories! HUZZAH!
7/4/07: If you're wondering why I haven't updated lately, it's because my computer crashed!! Every dang file was lost, so I have to start from scratch on everything!! GRRR!!
9/23/07: I finally updated Sally and the Seven Dwarves today!! I feel so accomplished right now. I couldn't think of any ideas for this new chapter until today. Please go read it and review it and I will be happier beyond belief!
10/22/07: Check out this awesome Will/Elizabeth video. WARNING!! THERE ARE SPOILERS!! IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END, DON'T WATCH THIS VIDEO!!
12/26/07: Happy late Christmas everyone!! My Christmas was so fan-bloody-tastic because:
1) On Christmas Eve, I saw Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (but I went with my dad, for those of you who are like "OMG!!")
2) I spent Christmas day with my family and we had a great time
3) I got a lot of things that I wanted, but I didn't get any of the DVD's that I wanted :( but there's always my birthday (8 days from now)
and 4) I got the Nintendo Wii for Christmas with Guitar Hero III and Wii Sports, and I played that all last night.
Hope you all had a nice Christmas! But as for SatSD, I'll try to update with in the next week.
1/8/08: HOLY FRICKIN' CRAP!! JOHNNY DEPP'S COMING TO WISCONSIN TO FILM HIS NEW MOVIE!! HOLY EFFING WOW!!
1/21/08: I totally forgot to record that it was my sixteenth birthday on the third. As of now, I am 16 years old and 18 days.
7/7/08: It's been a while since I updated this, eh? Well, I plan on updating a bit more frequently, so try to keep your eyes out for new chapters.
10/7/08: I know that I haven't been updating much, but blame me for taking too many classes this year :(
Works in progress:
"Wallace and Gromit" fic- Chapter nine of this story is already up! More to come soon! (On Hold)
Sally and the Seven Dwarves-Eigth chapter up! (In Progress)
Sweeney Todd parody- Fifth chapter up! (In progress)
Random Quotes from movies and real life:
Note: These names are false names!
"Hi, I'm Rose's mother and I hate boys! Ha ha ha!"-Marie, during the making of a Titanic parody
"I'm more worried about the... PIE!" -Christine, my sister,while making fear-factor style film. The big surprise finale was supposed to be pickle loaf w/ jelly and she spoiled the surprise so we had to do some editing...
"I look like a male prostitute... I LOVE IT!" -Ron, a star in the school play. I messed up on his eye-liner during rehersal and I made him look like a Liza Minelli/raccoon type person
"I confess! I kill toads! I push them off of swingsets and run them over with lawn mowers!" -Me, outside with my friends. They were asking me about my deepest darkest secrets.
"Where were you on the day of today?" -Annelise, an oboe player in the band
"Keep your hand at the level of your eyes! This could get gross!" -Jessica, another star in the school play, we were at the cast party for the play and Mark was acting like Michael Jackson
"You don't deserve to be on the microphone." -Ralph to Vinny in regards to reading a narration
"It keeps shrinking stupid." -Ms. Krueger trying to copy some music that won't shrink right
"SPANDEX!" -Mariah, at a random point
"Meet my son, Bob the IV!" -Lizzie, referring to a stapler remover
"I'm testing the french fries to see if they are poisonous"-Ann
"I have to go, it's not you, it's me... no, wait, it's you." -Mandy, in a Titanic Parody
"Aaaagh! It's the missing link! Let's observe him!" -Ann, referring to her brother
"Why are you kissing your daughter?" -Mandy, regarding our dolls in the Titanic Parody that were butting heads.
"You got food from the gas station?" -Jacob, my 6 year old 2nd cousin
"I will now quote the Teletubbies in my moment of rage!"-Dan, after he couldn't successfully make an eclectromagnet.
"I am the Queen of Randomosity! Hear me roar!"-Me, during some random point.
"EAT, YOU BULIMIC COW!"-Marie at the ice cream parlor. There's this huge cow outside of it and she was throwing invisible ice cream at it... She was trying to relive the glory days...
" SAUSAGE!"-Christine at dinner, she did that same thing that Wallace does in Wallace and Gromit.
"Why is Peter Pan a red head? Was he Irish or something?"-Me, sitting at the T.V. watching Peter Pan for no apparent reason.
"I think that old lady had a pillow stuffed in her pants!" -Lara, my 6 year old cousin at my sister's dance recital. One of the ushers was an elderly lady who had wide hips.
"One, two, three, four, five, six people I can run over... Hmmm... today might be a productive day!"-Marie and Mandy's dad while me, Christine, Mandy, and Marie were in the car on the way to their house. He was kidding about running them over.
"Oh, no! The gangsters are going to shoot us! Quick! Run to the conservatory! The nuns'll protect us!" -Me, Mandy, and Marie in the park after we saw Ice Age 2.
"Dad! Stop singing 'The Lion Sleeps Tonight!' That time at Disney World when we went to the Lion King show and that lady pulled you up on stage to make that warthog noise was already traumatic enough!"-Me, we were watching my sister's dance recital on a DVD and one of the dances was to "The Lion Sleeps Tonight".
"Look at me! I can fake a siezure!"-Brandon, this one scary little sixth grader in a drama program at the local university.
"RAH! I'm Johnny Depp and I'm... HIGH!"-Ashley's drawing of Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean.
"Country Kitchen! ...Is the best restraunt ever!"-Marie. Me, Christine, Mandy, and Marie were walking past a rummage sale on the way home from the ice cream parlor and Marie spotted a mug that had the Country Kitchen logo on it. The lady who was holding the rummage sale gave us a look of death after that outburst and she looked like she was going to get a bow and arrow with the mug attached to the arrow and shoot it at us while saying, "I'll show you Country Kitchen!"
"Elmo must be on crack if he's living in a crayon-house and he's talking to his goldfish."-Me, my little cousin was watching Elmo's world and it's sort of disturbing... not as disturbing as Salad Fingers, but disturbing.
"Hi, my name is Daniel Cook. I'm gonna be break-dancing today. You go do some coffee-grinders over there, you do the worm over here, and I'll just stand here looking cool."-My uncle, he was imitating this show on playhouse disney his one-year-old daughter was watching.
"I'd weigh eight thousand pounds if I lived next to a French bakery."-Mom, while my family was at Epcot at Disney World.
"Donuts are good for your soul!"-Me, at breakfast.
"You're a bucket of arm-pits!" -Me. (When did I say that?)
"Stop singing, Christine! You're making English people cry!"-Me, my sister was singing very badly!
"Why are Sloppy Joes sometimes called Hot Tamales? They're not even close to tamales!"-Ann
": Where's it gone? Where's the thump-thump?"-POTC 2
": to Elizabeth You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin."-Yet again, POTC 2
": Dearly beloved, we gather here to say our goodbyes. Here she lies, no one knew her worth. The late, great daughter of Mother-Earth. On these nights, when we celebrate the birth, in that little town of Bethlehem, we raise our glass, you bet your ass to La Vie - - Boheme."-RENT
": Lesbian? Her birthday's in March. I thought she was a Pisces."-Bend it Like Beckham
": Anyone can cook aloo gobi, but who can bend a ball like Beckham?"
"D-- YOU HOT WHEELS!"-Ashley, her brother screwed up the computer with a game only meant for Windows '98.
"Kids these days... they want "emergency" cell phones, but they don't even use 'em for emergencies no more. They just blab on them all the time. Back in my day, I remember I shared a phone line with the neighbors, you'd have to wait an hour to call someone if the wife was a real chatter box."-Grandpa Don
"(Indian accent) Hello! I am from Playboy Magazine! I confirm your order of 5,600,234 issues of Playboy!"-Emma, she was making a prank call to my 7th grade math teacher, whose name shan't be realeased.
"If I wake up with my face sticking to the pillow... I BLAME YOU!"-Me, after my mom waxed my eyebrows
"I hate wild goose chases..."-Heather... she said that just last night :)
"My bed is possessed!"-Me... mah bed rattles for some odd reason...
: You know I require payment.
"How do you get all of this Johnny Depp stuff! Do you have connections or something?"-Mme. Lupin
"Is the worm supposed to be Chinese?"-My dad, while watching Corpse Bride. (JSYK... He has nothing against the Chinese, so don't send me hate messages!)
From inside the haycart
: Damn your eyes!
: To kill such a creature will require nerves of steel and... a bullet!
: This was no man. Does a man have teeth the size of axe blades? Or ears like terrible tombstones? By tampering with nature, forcing vegetables to swell far beyond their natural size, we have brought a terrible judgement upon ourselves.
: the townspeople are discussing the attack on their vegetables If you ask me, this was arson.
: That Vizzini, he can fuss.
telling Rocky about a caper
"Danity Kane...They suck!"-Mr. Stetson, my bio teacher, we were grouping music genres just like people group species
"Is Audrey the only person who knows who the Jetsons are?"-Ms. Kruger, my band teacher, we were playing theme songs from cartoons in band.
: singing I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb.
pushing Sandy down the pipe
: singing Kidnap the Santa Claus / beat him with a stick / lock him up for ninety years / see what makes him tick.
Igor: Maaasterrr... The plaaaannnsss!
: I'm wet! I'm hysterical and I'm wet!
: Dear Lord... I want that money!
: Break a leg!
: Why you miserable, cowardly, wretched little caterpillar... takes blue blanket
: Don't you see Bloom? You're like... you're like a fountain!
: Davey Jones can't go on land but once every ten years. Land is where you are safe Jack Sparrow. And so you will carry land with you.
: Jack's hat is blown overboard while the Black Pearl is fleeing the Kraken Jack's hat!
Cotton's Parrot: Squawk Don't eat me! Don't eat me!
: Where's the Commodore?
: Gentlemen, what do keys do?
: watching Norrington, Will and Jack fight whilst Elizabeth is screaming and throwing rocks How'd this go all screwy?
Cotton's Bird: squawk Walk the plank!
: Oh! Oh, the heat!
Jack Sparrow: Oh bugger.
: empties bottle of rum Why is the rum always gone?
: sing-song I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it?
"These eye lashes make me look like a drag queen!" -Me, just today before I was gonna hand out candy for trick-or-treaters.
"THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!"-Me, I was hyper off of Mountain Dew and chocolate truffles.
"Gabby wants to marry Dumbledore and Hagrid!"-Heather, referring to her step sister while me, Heather, Gabby, Emma, and Sara were watching Harry Potter 4.
"WILLARD! THERE ARE RATS IN THE BASEMENT!!... and apparently they like Rollos..."-Me... somehow mice got into the candy supply in my basement.
"It's a Sam Sandwhich with Tyler bread!"-Ms. Krueger and Ms. Sarandon, during rehearsals for the school play. One actor, Sam, was standing between two actors named Tyler.
"LINDICKEY!!"-Grandma Garneta, (RIP), whenever her least favorite football player would come on.
"Your giggling isn't helping."-Tyler number 1, when he messed up on his German accent during play practice.
: Prepare to meet you maker. Your..."ice maker".
: Alright, keep your legs straight when you hit the water!
"You can't spell SANTA without SATAN!"-Mandy, we were talking about my sister's satanic health baby.
"Hello, Mr. Satanic Baby. We meet again!"-Me, talking to my sister's health baby which was probably the same one I had.
"This is not music to slit your wrists to!" Me when my sister was criticizing my Phantom of the Opera soundtrack.
"Don't steal my word!"-My cousin, Briana, when I said the word "over yonder".
"Oh my God! It's Clay Aiken with braids!"- My mother, when we were watching the new American Girl movie tonight. (Molly: An American Girl on the Frontier or something like that)
"You're a homicidal freak!" -Me, when Crystal was throwing a Sharpie marker at me, Jessica, and Danny.
"It's not weird... It's foreign!" Me and Emily during French class.
Spike is holding a nutcracker
Le Frog Has brought a cable necessary for the Toad's plan
: You find my pain amusing?
: Any last requests?
: To action!
: Are you sure about this, Spike? These things are dangerous.
: From up top, eh? I used to work at a lab up top. I tested shampoo. I used to be a lovely dark grey. My dandruff's gone, though.
: the Sailor Scouts are spying on Serena and Darien kissing Yuck! Serena's gettin' kissed, how gross!
"I will kill Barney for speaking in French!"-Me
"Mother Ginger's a man?!"-Christine, when me, my mom and her were at the Nutcracker Ballet.
"I'VE BEEN BISCUIT-NAPPED!!"-Me, when Christine stole my biscuit at dinner.
: Soup's on!
: I can't believe you sheep have strayed so far from the path of righteousness!
: Hold me.
: Why are you hiding back there? You don't have to hide from me - I'm Peg Boggs, your local Avon representative and I'm as harmless as cherry pie...
: Villainy wears many masks, none of which so dangerous as virtue...
: It is truth, but truth is not always appearance.
: It was a headless horseman.
to the horse
Regarding a spider
: Still alive?
"DISNEY LIED TO ME!!"-Me, during social studies class while watching Pocahontas, which is like one of the most historically inaccurate films ever made.
"Fat guy in a little coat!"-My uncle Kevin, while wearing my sister's coat.
: Here is my Christmas speech. "Thank you all, and Merry Christmas."
: Mother always taught me: "Never eat singing food."
: You're a little absent-minded, spirit.
: If you please Mr. Scrooge, it's gotten colder and the bookkeeping staff would like an extra shovel full of coal for the fire.
: There are two things in life I hate-heights and jumping from them.
: talking to young Scrooge about business You see, business, it is the AMERICAN WAY!
: whispering Once again, I must remind you that the Marley's were dead, and decaying in their graves. That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous.
: I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming hot goose!
"Our hands still smell like mini-kraken!"-Me, Emily and Becky seventh hour, three hours after we dissected a squid in biology.
: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries
: after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
: Un cadeau.
: What makes you think she's a witch?
: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.
the Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off
: We are the Knights who say... NI.
: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
: Who are you who can summon fire without flint or tinder?
: about the inscription on the rock What does it say, Brother Maynard?
(-Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
: Let us praise God. O Lord...
: Very disorientating Camerawork. The "audience" can be heard yelling out where they think the fish is I wonder where that fish has gone?
: I AM DEATH!
(-The Meaning of Life... Another Monty Python movie!)
"Kool-Aid is the devil!"-Me.
"My spoon is psycho!"-Teresa, bending her plastic spoon at lunch and making it writhe all over the table.
: Wearing a gumball dispenser on his head I come in peace.
: Eating animal crackers The giraffes taste the same as the elephants. That's messed up.
: Herd, circle formation!
: singing Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree/ He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who constantly had to pee/ One day the elf could take no more/ so he went to bang on the rude dwarf's door/ and what do you know, they suddenly both were marrrrried.
about the coffee he found in the dumpster
: I've been living a lie!
after Boog relized that it was Elliot's fault for putting him in the woods
"If you don't listen to what somebody tells you, it's like putting your fingers in your ears and jumping down a well."-Princess Eilonwy, from The Black Cauldron
: singing Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight... you're free to leave me, but just don't deceive me, and please believe me when I say I love you!
: How do you do? My name is Henri Marie Raymond Toulouse-Lautrec Montfa.
: to herself, singing When will I begin to live again? One day I'll fly away... leave all this to yesterday. Why live life from dream to dream, and dread the day when dreaming ends
: v.o When suddenly an unconscious Argentinean fell through my roof.
the bohemians are rehearsing a play that resembles a certain musical that begins with a nun singing atop a hill
: I'm the Green Fairy... The hills are alive, with The Sound Of Music.
: Unbewievable. Stwaight to the ewephant.
: Oh no, I forgot my line.
: Can't fall in love? But a life without love, that's terrible.
"Hooray for spazzing!"-Heather
"Stetson! What are we supposed to be doing?!"-Richard, filming for a biology project, he purposely called my bio teacher "Stetson".
"This is what happens when you give ice cream sandwhiches hallucinogens."-Steven, when ice cream for the cell-model (for the biology project) got all over the place.
"It tastes like chocolate... AND IT'S SHEDDING!!" -Heather, regarding a cookie crumble bar during lunch.
"I wonder what would happen if you deprived Mrs. Hendricks of chocolate..." -Mikayla, during English class, speaking of the teacher.
"We're not worthy!" -People on the DC trip I was recently on, regarding the bus driver, who I might mention, is the best bus driver in the world!
"It's a Moulin Rouge! thing, you wouldn't understand..." -Me, to my dad.
"It's George Washington's moose!" -Ashley, at Mount Vernon, we were near a large-horned bull.
"It's George Washington's five-hundred year old horse!" -Ashley again, when were standing near a horse at Mount Vernon.
"Don't make me hit you with a water bottle!" -Me, when Emma was being pessimistic on the DC trip.
"GAAAH! You just blinded me!" -Sara, after getting a camera flash in her eye.
"Hooray for Fuddruckers!" -My group at dinner at Fuddruckers. (Which has to be one of the best restaurants EVER!)
"Oh, yeah! Let's strut our stuff in the woods!" -Me and Steven at Mount Vernon.
"Let's wave at people!" -Ashley... Sara, Tanner, her, and I were sitting in the back of the bus and we were laughing so hard at all the people's reactions when we would wave at them.
"Ashley's violent when she doesn't get enough sleep... I'm not sleeping over at her house any time soon!" -Sara, after Ashley hit Tanner on the head with her shopping bag from Hot Topic... this happened at ONE IN THE MORNING!!
"Too much sugar, not enough love..." -Steven, when Jeremy was playing volleyball and it didn't go over the net. (Spastic growling ensued)
"HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE? AND SINCE FIRST GRADE?! STALKER!!" -Me, to Heather.
: as he sees rock-like crabs Now we're being followed by rocks. Never heard that before.
: Ha ha... Lookie here boys. The lost bird. A lost bird that never learned to fly.
: And that was without a single drop of rum!
: Will you tell me something? Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel? Er... rather damsel in distress? Either one.
: watching a huge fight among the pirates This is madness!
: to Beckett Who am I?
: Captain Barbossa and Captain Jack Sparrow are both trying to give orders What are you doing?
Giselle and Scarlett are fighting
: Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past.
: Jack has a cannon aimed at Beckett You're mad!
: at a pirate gathering There's not been a gathering like this in our lifetime.
: Cuttlefish. Eh? Let us not, dear friends, forget our dear friends the cuttlefish... flipper conories little sausages. Pin them up together and they will devour eachother without a second thought... Human nature, in'it? Ooor... fish nature... So yes... we could hold up here well-provisioned and well-armed and half of us would be dead within the month! Which seems grim to me any way you slice it! Or... ahh... as my learned colleague so naively suggests, we can release Calypso, and we can pray that she will be merciful... I rather doubt it. Can we in fact pretend that she is anything other than a woman scorned, like which fury Hell hath no? We cannot. Res ipsa loquitur, tabula in naufragio, we are left with but one option. I agree with, and I cannot believe the words are coming out of me mouth... Captain Swann. We must fight.
about Barbossa Shoot him!
: You will listen to me! LISTEN! The other ships will still be looking to us, to the Black Pearl, to lead, and what will they see? Frightened bilgerats aboard a derelict ship? No, no they will see free men and freedom! And what the enemy will see, they will see the flash of our cannons, and they will hear the ringing of our swords, and they will know what we can do! By the sweat of our brow and the strength of our backs and the courage in our hearts! Gentlemen, Hoist the Colors!
in a comical high-pitched voice And so... we shall go to war!
Poking around the carcass of the Kraken lying on the shore
: Elizabeth, are you dead?
: Well, slap me thrice and hand me to me mama!
of Davy Jones So he wasn't always so... tentacley?
: Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by.
: Dearly Beloved, we be gathered here today...
of releasing Calypso It must be said as if speaking to a lover.
: There was a time when a pirate was free to make his own way in the world. But our time is comin' to an end. Our enemies are united; they vow to destroy us. The Pirate Lords from the four corners of the Earth, must stand together. (-Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End)
"AAAH! SCARY BROADWAY PEOPLE!"- Me and Matt during a fundraiser/walk for Autism. (We were standing at a water station and some scary people started rehearsing randomly for their theater show)
"Why must you shoot my hopes down like poor defensless ducks?!"- Me.
"Hooray for Jack White and his sarcasm!!"-Me and Crystal during a disscussion for American History class.
"You have obtained Axel." -Briana, when we were playing Kingdom Hearts II and Roxas opens a chest.
"When they say 'real, honest barbecue', are they implying that the other places are lying?"- Mosh, referring to a barbecue restaurant ad.
"Join Ramen Club or die!!" -Mosh.
: I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed.
: All my life I've had this strange feeling that there's something big and sinister going on in the world.
after being thrown into the airlock by a guard Wash your filthy hands!
: Life? Don't talk to me about life!
being chased by Ford Prefect with a towel He's got a TOWEL!
: If there's anything around here more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now!
: Vogon poetry is the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience members died of internal hemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. The very worst poetry in the universe was written by Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. Thankfully it was destroyed when the earth was.
: Normality? We can talk about normality until the cows come home.
: I've been talking to the main computer.
: Humma Kavula is a person? I thought he was swearing!
as a yarn doll I think I'm gonna be sick!
: Marvin... you saved our lives!
: Vogons. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy. Not actually evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious, and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, lost, found again, queried, subjected to public inquiry, lost and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighter. On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.
: Drink up.
: Hey. Sorry to hear about your planet. What was it called again?
: I think that door just sighed.
(-Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
"Rabies! Also comes in cherry flavor!" - Me
sung They all deserve to die/Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett, tell you why/Because in all of the whole human race Mrs. Lovett there are two kinds of men and only two/There's the one staying put in his proper place and one with his foot in the other one's face/Look at me, Mrs Lovett! Look at you!/ No, we all deserve to die/ Even you, Mrs Lovett, even I!
sung to his razor There there, my friend... /Come, let me hold you...
: That lad is drinking me out o' house an' home
: Mr. T, you didn't!
: I've never had dreams, only nightmares.
spoken under his breath There’s a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are full of shit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it...
: Is everything alright Mister Todd?
: How seldom it is one meets a fellow spirit.
: And I will get him back even as he gloats in the mean time I'll practice on less honorable throats, and my Lucy lies in ashes and I'll never see my girl again!
(-Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street)
"Okay, what if Piglet was walking through the Hundred Acre Woods and he accidentally fell into a pond filled with pig-eating fish? Then Rabbit catches some of those fish and invites Pooh over for dinner. Coincidentally, Pooh is Jewish. Would it be a sin in the Jewish faith if he ate the fish which ate Piglet?" -Jake, talking to Katie
"I R an epic failure!!" -Me, after failing at DDR for the Wii
"Quick! Hide the chocolate covered strawberries from Jake before he starts throwing the stems at me!" -Stephanie
"BACON IS OVERRATED!!" -Me and Katie at play practice
"Dear Grace, blah, blah, blah, I'm a cowboy from Montana, blah, blah, blah, I have a BIG-ASS RANCH, blah, blah, blah, sincerely, your admirer, Leonard F. Watkins." -Sam R., our stage manager at play practice.
"HILLBILLY HOUND!!" -Me and Ashley, in Kentucky, on our band trip to Disney World.
"You sound like the Swedish chef from the Muppets when you say that." -Kathryn, in French class.
"I LOVE YOU, JACK!! I LOVE YOU, DAVY JONES!! I LOVE YOU, BARBOSSA!" -Me on Pirates of the Caribbean, on the band trip
"I DEMAND TO SEE MR. GIBBS!!" -Me, on Pirates of the Caribbean
"I like sitting in the dark...EMO STYLE!!" -Beast, in the YouTube Parody of Kingdom Hearts, 3 Fools and a Microphone by Rikusgamer.
Gotham National Bank Manager: The criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in? What do you believe in!
The Joker: to Batman Come on, I want you to do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. Hit me!
The Joker: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?
The Joker: And I thought my jokes were bad...
The Joker: You know, I'll settle for his loved ones.
bumps along while driving hijacked truck
The Joker: And...here… we...go!
The Joker: You just couldn't let me go could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible aren't you? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you, because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
The Joker: to Det. Stephens Do you wanna know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little... emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
Lt. James Gordon: Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now...and so we'll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector...a dark knight.
The Joker: holding a knife inside Gambol's mouth Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was...a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Let’s put a smile on that face!" And... Why so serious?
The Joker: See, I'm not a monster...I'm just ahead of the curve.
The Joker: to Batman We really should stop fighting, we'll miss the fireworks
The Joker: holds camera facing himself See, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham! If you want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die, starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.
Harvey Dent: You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Harvey Dent: The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.
The Joker: This town deserves a better class of criminal... and I'm gonna give it to them. Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city.
The Joker: speaking to Two-Face Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, when I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you know that I'm telling the truth.
The Joker: You are just a freak, like me!
The Joker: speaking to Batman I wanted to see what you'd do. And you didn't disappoint... You let five people die. Then, you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me, that's cold
(-The Dark Knight)
(me and my family during dinner Summer 2006)
(chimes of ice cream truck approach house)
Me: Hmm... that's convienent, I have a dollar in my hand and the ding ding man (ice cream man) is coming.
Mom: Save that money for your trip to France.
Me: I don't think we're going to the south of France, though. That's where Johnny Depp lives!
Dad: Well, maybe you could meet his son. As in date...
Me: Eww! His son his like 4 years old, Dad. I'm fourteen! Big age difference.
Mom: Well that's better opposed to 14 and 43 years old.
Me: Who cares... Johnny Depp has the good fortune of looking 25 when he's really in his '40's.
(Dress rehearsal for the school play)
(My shirt from the movie "Corpse Bride" has a little skeleton girl on it and it says "No one wants to play with me!")
June: (a senior from the high school volunteering for stage crew)Aaaww! (referring to my shirt) I'll play with you!
Rita: (another senior) Don't worry, she's not always like that. She had a little too much caffiene today.
June: Hey! I was tired!
(At POTC 2)
(Keira Knightley kissing Johnny Depp)
Me: (practically having spasms)
Heather: Breathe, Audrey, breathe.
Me: HOW CAN I? I'm practically having a stroke!
Heather: It's just a movie, you'll get over it.
Me: Yeah, in like 10,000 years! But it's a movie with a sexy pirate!
(At Gina's (who now lives in Georgia) house, I was in fourth grade)
(it is almost 5:30, the time I was supposed to go home)
Me: Oh, great! It's 5:25!
Gina: What do you want to do for the next five minutes?
Me: I don't know.
Gina: How 'bout we panic and run around screaming?
Me: Sounds good to me.
(we start running around in circles)
(Gina's brother Arnold comes up from the basement and sees us)
Arnold: What are you doing?
Me: Running around in circles until it's 5:30.
Arnold: Sounds like fun. I'm gonna do it too!
(he joins us and Gina and Arnold start screaming in German since they're from Germany and we do this until 5:30)
(in 4th hour Social studies class, eigth grade)
Me: (staring at my POTC folder) Johnny Depp is a sexy pirate...(starts drooling)
Tracie: (sitting behind me) Nuh-uh! Orlando Bloom is hotter!
Ashley: (sitting next to me) Nuh-uh!
Ally: (sitting next to Tracie) Okay then...
(Thanksgiving at my Grandpa's house and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is on)
Me: Christine, Miley Cyrus is on the Macy's parade.
Christine: (obviously sooooo focused on reading her book which looks the least bit interesting) Okay... whatever.
Briana (my cousin): I don't want to see Miley Cyrus make a fool of herself.
Me: FINE! I'll just sit in the middle of the living room reading The Crucible!
(1st Hour Social Studies Class)
My social studies teacher: (talking about the worksheet we have to do) No, we do not have to do the essay question on the back that deals with aliens taking us as slaves. The company who made this obviously has a fixation on aliens.
Me: Why aliens? Why not mole-people?
Teacher: You obviously have watched the movie The Incredibles too much.
Class: (excessive laughter)
(Dec. 5 2006)
Me: Hey mom, tomorrow a certain pirate DVD is coming out tomorrow and it just so happens that tomorrow's St. Nick night.
Mom: Your point is?
Me: What do you say to three shillings and you get me the DVD? (handing her three gold dollar coins)
Mom: Stop quoting the first 'Pirates' movie... just wait and see on Wednesday morning if you get it. (hands the money back)
(I move to my dad)
Me: Hey dad...
Dad: Don't even try it!
(At play practice in 9th grade)
Crystal: I like eggs.
Eden: No one cares.
Crystal: I like eggs!
Me: No one cares!
Crystal: I like cheese.
Jessica: (getting reeeeally annoyed) NO ONE CARES!!
Crystal: (whispering) I... like... CHEESE!!
Me: NO ONE CARES ABOUT DAIRY PRODUCTS THAT YOU PUT ON VARIOUS FOOD STUFFS!
Crystal: (shuts up)
Eden and Jessica: You're good...
(At Chipotle's in Washington DC)
(my group is in line to order)
Server Lady #1: (to Ashley) What kind of beans do you want?
Ashley: (clearly loopy from walking around in 80 degree weather in a cemetery full of dead people) Yes, I want beans.
Server Lady #2: She means pinto beans or refried beans.
Ashley: Beans, please.
Server Lady #2: Pinto or refried.
Ashley: (finally not in a daze) Oh! I'll have pinto beans.
Favorite Movies: Corpse Bride, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, Flushed Away, Edward Scissorhands, Pirates of the Caribbean series, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Moulin Rouge!, Just Friends, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Meaning of Life, The Princess Bride, Last Holiday, Ice Age, Ice Age: The Meltdown, Bend it Like Beckham, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Harry Potter series
Favorite Shows: Criminal Minds, Ouran High School Host Club, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, SpongeBob SquarePants, The Fairly Oddparents, The Soup, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends
Favorite Books: Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire, Diary of Anne Frank, Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux, Night by Elie Wiesel, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams Princess Diaries series by Meg Cabot, The Crucible by Arthur Miller, All American Girl by Meg Cabot, Matilda by Roald Dahl, The Princess Bride by William Goldman... um... there's a lot of them.
Favorite bands/singers: Madonna, Vanessa Paradis, Forever Wednesday, Cute is What We Aim For, Gwen Stefani, Pink, U2, Natasha Bedingfield, Kristin Chenoweth, Josh Groban, Hinder, Christina Aguilera, Bob Marley, Dixie Chicks, Alanis Morissette, Johnny Cash, The Beatles, No Doubt, Fall Out Boy, Bo Bice, Panic! At The Disco, and Shakira
Remember kids: Stay in school and save the whales!
P.S. If you want me to commission something... drop me a line : )
Pirates of the Caribbean Series
PintelxRagetti (OMG YAY!! MOOG!!)
Davy JonesxTia Dalma/Calypso
Ouran High School Host Club
HikaruxKaoru (OMG TWINCEST!!)
Wallace and Gromit
Nightmare Before Christmas
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
SweeneyxLovett (I'm being a bit contradictory, aren't I?)
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
if you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
if your parents have noticed that you're paler than people from the UK, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile
Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list, Queen S of Randomness 016, Queen B of Randomness 016, AnimieKittyCaffe, The Gypsy Pirate Queen, That Bloody Demon, The Astrology Nerd, Shadow929, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Yavie Aelienel, Hyperactively Bored, Spymaster E, Shanny-Boo, Gem W, Brown-eyed angelofmuisc, piratesswriter/fairy to be, Bara-Minamoto, Em Quagmire, Buffy the Mary-Sue Slayer, Harry's Girl 01031992.
if you like claymation movies (e.g. Wallace and Gromit, Corpse Bride) copy this into your profile
Does anyone here hate Degrassi besides Queen S of Randomness 016, random little writer, Harry's Girl 01031992, and That Bloody Demon?
Does anyone agree with me that homophobes are nasty, insensitive people?
If you were sad when Steve Irwin died, copy this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
I am a proud VictorxVictoria shipper, no matter what the VictorxEmily shippers say! If you are a VxV lover and proud, copy this into your profile.
If you are a NevillexLuna shipper and still love it even after JK Rowling said it would never happen, copy this into your profile.
98 percent of teenagers has drank alcohol or done drugs. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this into your profile.
If you have an annoying trio of girls and/or have an annoying trio of guys who act just like them at your school who think they rule the Earth, copy this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you break out in random laughing fits for no apparent reason that last for minutes or even hours on end, copy this into your profile.
If you weren't a fan of slash, but saw the wondrous thing that it was and are now a fan, copy this into your profile.
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