The Pirate on Wheels
hide bio
Poll: Should I have a poll? Vote Now!
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 09-23-05, id: 902188, Profile Updated: 04-03-13
Author has written 10 stories for Yu Yu Hakusho, and Naruto.

For all the Dreamers Out There: Stories will be updated when I finish the new chapters I have for them, and deem them passable for publishing. Which may not turn out to be what is actually passable for publishing, but we're all only human.*


Does anybody but stalkers actually read these things?

Okay, my name is Action Jackson, and I'm a loose-cannon cop who doesn't play by anybodies rules but his own. I'll wash the car and and eat steel for breakfast. I'm also a freelance ninja, and privateer who has cool flying wheels like that guy from Inuyasha. I'm a bad-asterix Brawler who owned boss rush mode with Jigglypuff. Also I'm a robot ghost who pilots a giant robot, but that's only on the weekends. I spend my summers wrassling bears, as well...but only when I'm injured, I wouldn't want it to too unfair for the critter,which is why I only face them in a strait jacket, with one leg tied behind my back. I am proficient in martial arts. All martial arts, real and fictional. But especially that one that Bruce guy did. I sleep on a bed of spears, not nails like those girly men do, my skintanium armor is far too tough for that, which is why only an army of Sephiroth clones can hurt me. I also eat and eat, and never poop, but when I do, I wipe with sand paper. I know the Muffin Man. I have graduated from every college and university in the world, with top honors, every year, since they've opened. I have an I.Q. over 9000, and am a master of debate, but I prefer to let my fists do the talking. I win at everything. As a local blacksmith, carpenter, electrician, plumber, mason, and state alchemist, I built everything I own, which includes a mountain and a circus. I can ride horses, bulls, lions, bears, and dinosaurs, bare back. I am also an explosives expert, and can blow things up with my mind like that one guy from Avatar. I may be part robot-time traveler , but I am all that is American. My middle name is Freedom...literally. I defeated the Nazis, the Soviets, and the British, in every war. Even the ones they were just thinking about. I have played and beaten Great Blue, one hundred times, consecutively. Even when it started shooting missiles at me. Good thing I can take explosions...

Alright, my poll is at a bit of a standstill. You see, I have three votes saying that I should have a poll, three votes against me having one, and eleven votes that say I'm awesome, which leaves unable to conclude anything but that there are eleven very right people in this world.

Edit:

I should totally update this thing.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Better Left Unsaid by Kenchi618 reviews
Mizuki never got to shoot his mouth off at Naruto the night he took the Scroll of Seals. Other than skipping a half-manic monologue from him what exactly did this change for everyone's favorite blonde ninja? Who knows? Rated M for language/later events.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 64 - Words: 830,631 - Reviews: 6270 - Favs: 6,196 - Follows: 5,390 - Updated: 3/17 - Published: 12/14/2010 - [Naruto U., Ino Y.] Team Ten
The Great Romantic by MogtheGnome reviews
What are the odds that giving someone a gift would end up cascading into THIS kind of reaction? Probably pretty low... But this way is funnier.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 57,721 - Reviews: 972 - Favs: 2,231 - Follows: 1,951 - Updated: 3/4 - Published: 9/29/2007 - Naruto U., Tenten
The Legend of Zelda: Sacred Reliquary by Sharper Than the Sword reviews
This is not the Hyrule you know. An ageless Princess rules from cold spires high above, a dark horror stalks the nights, a small band of rebels fights for the people, and a ruthless warrior named Ganondorf thirsts for the blood of nobles.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 164,330 - Reviews: 454 - Favs: 437 - Follows: 345 - Updated: 1/30 - Published: 10/15/2009 - Link, Midna, Ganondorf, Zelda
The Sealed Kunai by Kenchi618 reviews
What if something made Naruto the dead-last that everyone sees him as? What if he really wasn't as weak as he seemed? The true Naruto, unleashed upon the shinobi world! AU Story starts at Invasion of Konoha arc and continues onwards.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 69 - Words: 670,128 - Reviews: 9469 - Favs: 8,355 - Follows: 6,299 - Updated: 8/20/2013 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Naruto U. - Complete
Shiroyuki Ouji by anthropomorphychan reviews
Shikamaru was a traditionalist. He believes in the idea of the man asking the woman out and not the other way around. He believes in chivalry and treating his woman like a queen. And he certainly does not appreciate being treated like a princess by the girl he is secretly crushing on. Even if it was only for a play.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,804 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/1/2013 - Published: 11/29/2012 - Shikamaru N., Tenten
Ignis Bellator by Mexicano27 reviews
What would have happened if Naruto had argued against being put in Sasuke's team a little earlier and a little more fiercely? Iruka's decision of what to do will alter the very course of Konoha's history forever. Story will be rewritten. Please read author's note.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 246,158 - Reviews: 929 - Favs: 685 - Follows: 737 - Updated: 1/15/2013 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Naruto U., Sakura H., Hinata H.
Dead Garden by Aaron Nowack reviews
The Fourth Hokage left a behind a legacy, a cruel burden that would change the fate of a world. It should have gone to a hero, a champion who could mend the broken and save the hopeless. Instead it fell on Haruno Sakura. Good thing she'll have some help.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 104,402 - Reviews: 199 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 594 - Updated: 11/13/2012 - Published: 7/12/2011 - Sakura H., Kushina U.
Average by Death2Deadlines reviews
Oneshot collection - Shikamaru meets a girl he can actually hold a civilized conversation with.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 22,627 - Reviews: 172 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 10/4/2012 - Published: 7/24/2011 - Shikamaru N., Tenten
Tempest by cywsaphyre reviews
Back in time and armed with years of future knowledge, Sakura is ready to take the world by storm. Except... she's four again, not twelve. Ah well, nobody said she couldn't start a little early. Gen, time travel, AU, Sakuracentric.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 47,575 - Reviews: 1294 - Favs: 2,840 - Follows: 3,049 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 7/8/2012 - Sakura H.
Zuleika's Creed by Lei-lassassin reviews
Set five years before the game Assassin's Creed, we follow the story of Leilah. When granted her wish to be an assassin, she struggles with her new life, haunted by dreams of gold light and blue mist. Is a world dominated by men too much for a mere woman?
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,716 - Reviews: 517 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 5/1/2012 - Published: 1/2/2008
One Small Kindness by DigitalTart reviews
Uchiha Mikoto takes the hand of an outcast child, and with it rewrites the destiny of her clan. AU. *SEQUEL UP*
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 19 - Words: 108,569 - Reviews: 908 - Favs: 2,370 - Follows: 864 - Updated: 10/19/2011 - Published: 3/10/2011 - Mikoto U., Itachi U. - Complete
Naruto: Chosen Vessel by BlueGlass54 reviews
Iruka's early demise changes everything. Watch as Naruto grows into a legend with the help and support of his teammates and sensei. AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 31 - Words: 191,707 - Reviews: 948 - Favs: 2,035 - Follows: 2,143 - Updated: 4/23/2011 - Published: 6/16/2009 - Naruto U., Ino Y.
The Maiden and the Martyr by Lost In A Dark Wood reviews
It's after the war, Azula is better, Zuko's throwing a party, and Sokka's invited. Very dark Sokkla, for Anariel Tindomerel. Notes and epilogue of sort now up.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,619 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 4/19/2011 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Azula, Sokka - Complete
Fuzzy Logic by Deritine reviews
AU time travel: The kyuubi no kitsune knew something was wrong, but couldn't put a paw on quite what. However, there are benefits to being a force of nature, including time itself bending to accommodate you. Finished!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 161,393 - Reviews: 1842 - Favs: 2,489 - Follows: 1,539 - Updated: 4/7/2011 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
Undercover and Temptations by Inori Ishii reviews
Special Ops officer Uzumaki Naruto is dedicated to his duty and he'd do anything to carry out an assignment; even if it meant posing as husband to new recruit Yamanaka Ino. Will they be able to survive the temptation and the dangers of being undercover?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,959 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 3/8/2011 - Published: 5/1/2010 - Naruto U., Ino Y.
The Gift That Matters Most by Akatsuki210 reviews
Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan don't have much...except for each other. One shot.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,154 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Published: 12/16/2010 - Nagato, Konan - Complete
Kunoichi in the City by Istoria reviews
Female only teams would improve the selfesteem of all involved, right? Well, that's what Sakura thought at least. But when she finds herself in charge of one, she learns that her esteem isn't in trouble, it's her sanity. Alternate Reality
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 49,287 - Reviews: 415 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 363 - Updated: 12/13/2010 - Published: 1/21/2006
Returning the Pain by insomaniac1 reviews
Beating Narutoverse clichés to death so you don't have to. /srsly.\ Looking for a good story to read? Me, too. In the interim, here's a bunch of crack one-shots to help kill some time.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 109 - Words: 75,111 - Reviews: 952 - Favs: 335 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 10/8/2010 - Published: 5/29/2010 - Naruto U.
The Undying Flame by Akatsuki210 reviews
Asuma may have died years ago, but his son has followed in his footsteps as a ninja and is about to take the Chuunin Exams. Is the Will of Fire in his heart strong enough to carry him through? Future-fic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,328 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/27/2010 - Published: 5/8/2010 - Complete
In Letho Veritas by Sandataba reviews
In which Shikamaru learns the perils of being a teenage boy in the presence of a clueless girl. Shikaten.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,406 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 5/22/2010 - Published: 2/10/2010 - Shikamaru N., Tenten - Complete
Wedding Sniper by Inori Ishii reviews
A wedding sniper is at large. Posing as couple that's soon to march the aisle, it's up to Detective Yamanaka Ino and Sergeant Uzumaki Naruto to solve the case. As duty and desire tangled them in a web of escalating danger, will they be able to succeed?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 19 - Words: 57,679 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 10/22/2009 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Ino Y., Naruto U. - Complete
Knives in the Dark by Menamebephil reviews
My first attempt at Avatar. Is anyone surprised that it's an AU? This is not Maikka, unfortunately. Ty-Lokka, Kataang, Maiko, with maybe a little Tokka for seasoning. A really dumb idea, masquerading as a For the Want of a Nail type story.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 61 - Words: 138,836 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Sokka, Mai
Ninja Pirates from the Planet Jupiter by Kantayra reviews
Why teaching a class of young, would-be ninjas is every teacher's nightmare. Dedicated to poor, long-suffering Iruka.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,340 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Iruka U., Naruto U. - Complete
Lips of an Angel by Inori Ishii reviews
Uzumaki Naruto and Yamanaka Ino have been going steady for four years now and are prepared to settle down before the year ends. Until a late night call became the ultimate hindrance. Read and review. My first fanfic entry. Hope you like it.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,379 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 3/25/2008 - Published: 2/6/2008 - Naruto U., Ino Y.
An angel in white uniform by Meinos Kaen reviews
Naruto, for a reason, needs to stay in the hospital for one month every year. Usually Shizune takes care of him, but this year she's away. Sakura is out of question so, what about this new girl, since every other nurse would kill him on sight? [RXR]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,096 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 3/31/2007 - Published: 10/18/2006 - Naruto U.
Her Father's Sword by Kilerkki reviews
Tenten was never supposed to be a ninja. But she's not going to let that stop her. [Oneshot]
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,116 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/3/2005 - Tenten - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Growing Up Kyuubi reviews
Kushina's only regret was that she couldn't watch Naruto grow up. When sealing goes awry, she gets a chance to grow up with him, and teach Naruto what it means to host a demon.That's fine, since Kushina always would make for a better friend than a mother
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 565 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 24 - Published: 4/15/2012 - Kushina U., Naruto U.
The O Team reviews
For her misconduct, Anko was put in charge of a crack genin squad she didn't want. Today, still hounded by the council, they survive as ninjas of fortune.If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you're unlucky, maybe you can hire, The O Team
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,059 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 44 - Published: 11/10/2011 - Naruto U., Ino Y., Shino A., Anko M.
Shut up, Kiba reviews
Team 10 discuss their experiences with their furry obsessed team mate. Kiba gets hurt.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,368 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/19/2011 - Team Eight
Neji and Tenten in an Elevator reviews
An enlightening account of Neji and Tenten that captures the essence of their intricate relationship in the confines of a lift.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 118 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/3/2011 - Neji H., Tenten - Complete
The Heart of the Blade reviews
Kakashi reflects on the symbol of the ANBU, and his decision to adopt another way of life. Oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 515 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/22/2010 - Kakashi H. - Complete
Like Father Like Daughter reviews
Even as a child, Ino always knew how to handle bullies. Oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 917 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/26/2010 - Naruto U., Ino Y. - Complete
Kankuro V Toaster reviews
K.v.T. Our favorite nonSasori puppeteer fights with a toaster. He fights with his sister. He fights with everyday tasks. Wrote it as a challenge. Critique my style and challenge me further. All ideas welcome. It has Gaara. Just thowing that out there.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,931 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Kankuro, Temari
I Understand Revenge reviews
I understand revenge, but sometimes a guy can go a little too far. This is what happens to little brothers who cross that line. Angst, because Sasuke's there.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 577 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/26/2007 - Sasuke U., Itachi U. - Complete
The Passionate Writings of Youth reviews
To all the HinataNeji fans and flamers out there...a must read.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2006 - Hinata H., Neji H.
Hiei’s Hilariously Violent Escapades reviews
This is a collection of everyday instances in the life of our favorite dragon wielding demon, and how he would handle them without that pesky killing massive amounts of innocents to solve your problems is wrong attitude that plagues the yu yu yuniverse.
Yu Yu Hakusho - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/18/2005 - Hiei