Author has written 22 stories for Tsubasa Chronicle, Fullmetal Alchemist, Inuyasha, Death Note, Fruits Basket, and Sherlock.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN: Tony Stark, Jarvis teh computerman (Iron Man), Brian Kinney, Michael, Emmett (QAF-USA), Vince (QAF-UK), Gackt (the only real person here...other than me...), Roy, Ed, Al (FMA), Fai, Syaoran, Kurogane, Mokona (Tsubasa), Nakatsu, Kayashima (Hana Kimi), L (Death Note) sob
(n) = actions ~n~ = singing
Me- so, this is my Fanfic Profile...(gestures around) lovely, isn't it?
Tony- why don't I get a profile? I want a profile. Frankly I think I'm an exponentially more interesting person than you and deserve just as much recognition.
Me- it's because you're not...boring enough, being a superhero and all. This is to, uh...un-borify my boring-ass life.
Brian- are you trying to be amusing?
L- Borify isn't a word...
Michael- (looks around) why is it so...white?
L- the walls are made of a material that reflects all wavelengths of light. Human eyes detect this reflection and call it ‘white'.
Ed- (mumbles) show off.
Brian- (Gives Tony a seductive smile)
Tony- hey, Jarvis, where's my suit? I have a feeling I'm going to need it... (inches away) Jarvis?
Voice of Jarvis - at your service, Sir.
Tony - (jumps) holy shit! Stop doing that! (looks around, finds VoJ nowhere)
Me- this isn't the back room of Babylon, Brian, behave!! Now, where's Gackt? I need to jumphimsexhimlovehim.
Gackt- (whispers to Roy) help me. (runs and hides behind Roy)
Roy- (grins, holds up fingers in snapping position, chuckles evilly)
Me- (puppy eyes) You wouldn't burn me to a crisp, would you? Not when Ed's here!
Roy- No, unfortunately he's so small he'd just dodge the fire molecules.
Ed - WHO'S SO SMALL HE CAN DODGE MOLECULES!!
Al- Wow...he actually said that this time...
L- Fire isn't a molecule... -_-'
Brian- FUCK this is boring!!
Me- NOBODY ASKED YOU!! (smacks him)
Emmett- (stifles laugh) Brian just got bitch slapped.
Me- So, hey Tony!
Nakatsu- ~I like the things you do!~ (begins to dance)
Tony- (ignores me, pretends to be polishing armor)
Me- Hey Tony!!
Nakatsu- ~If I could I would be you! You're the one and only tiger, with the one and only taste~
Tony- I do taste good, but...I'm not a tiger... -_-'
Nakatsu- ~You know how to take a breakfast and make it GREAT!!~
Ed- What is wrong with him?
Kayashima- His aura suggests he is drunk... (sighs) ever since he found out Ashiya is a girl...
Nakatsu- ~FROSTED FLAKES are MORE than good! THEY'RE GREAT!!~
Tony- I am pretty kick-ass, aren't I?
Me- And you know it, you smug bastard. (shakes head) SO!! I was going to ask...can you give me a ride?
Tony- (gives me look-down) aren't you a bit...young?
Me- (hits him w/ mallet) NO YOU IDIOT!! I meant FLY!! I want a ride as in FLYING AROUND!!
Brian- I'll take a ride.
Tony- ...right, that's freaky
Me- (puppy eyes)
Tony- (sighs) I guess it couldn't hurt...
Me- ok, I'm back! Wow that was sooocoool!
Brian- my turn.
Tony- I don't think so. How ‘bout you have a go w/ Jarvis? He's gay.
VoJarvis- I most certainly am not!
Tony- look, no offense, but anyone who says ‘most certainly' is definitely gay.
Jarvis- I am British, BRITISH!!
Vince- Oh, my god--you too?
Me- you are teh computerman, so how is it you can talk w/out there being speakers here?
Jarvis- I am very advanced.
L- WHO WANTS PUDDING!?
Everyone- (slowly turns to look at L)
L- (grins) I like pudding. And cake. And sugar cubes. And jam. And donuts. And ice cream. And coffee. And--
Me- ok, OK, we get it! You like sweets!
(Fai and Syaoran pop out of nowhere)
Fai- (running around, holding eye) MY EYE!! MY EYE!! HE ATE MY EYE!!
Syaoran- (chasing Fai, yelling in zombie voice) Giive meee yooour eeyeebaaall!!
Kurogane- (chasing Syaoran) GET AWAY FROM MY LOVER!!
Mokona- (chasing bouncing behind Kurogane and...singing...) ~we're chasing Fai, the mage with one eye, the mage with one eye we are chasing is Fai!!~
Kurogane- (whirls around) KNOCK IT OFF!! (continues chasing Syao)
(they disappear through the wall)
Me- that was...unexpected...
Brian- Does all of this happen in your mind normally?
Me- ...NO!! (receives stares) I mean...not on good days... (twiddles fingers)
Ed- As compared to days like this? (looks around at everyone, pauses at L; mumbles) What a bunch of freaks...
Me- HOW DARE YOU CALL MY FAVORITE IMAGINARY-EXCEPT-FOR-GACKT-PEOPLE FREAKS!! (very offended)
Gackt- why am I here, anyway? I don't quite fit in...
Ed- None of us ‘quite fit in'
Me- that reminds me! There's a reason we're all here!
Brian- really. (skeptical)
Me- (glares at Brian) yes, really. You're all here to prove yourselves as my favorite of favorites.
Brian- That's my cue to leave. (starts walking away. Gets to wall, runs into wall)
Tony- (bursts into maniacal laughter)
Me- so...let's see... (puts finger to lips in contemplative way)
(5 minutes later)
Me- (finger still to lip, still deep in thought)
Tony- is it really that hard? I'm totally the best.
Me- (exasperated sigh) screw this, I can't decide and I'm running low on caffeine.
L-(hands me latte)
Me- you just became my new favorite person.
Tony- but I gave you a ride!!
Me- that's true...but I think L is the most misunderstood and therefore most needing of my affections. (hugs L)
Al- I have something to say.
Everyone- (look to Al, startled that he's actually speaking)
Al- (points to Tony) he totally stole my moment!
Me- you mean the ricochet moment!! (slaps knee) I loved that!!
Al- but I did it first!! And it's no fair--his armor can fly! I want my armor to fly!
Me- (pats Al) it's ok. I still love you.
Ed- and he totally got that pulse palm thing from Lyra. (to Tony) you're a total move-stealer.
Tony- yeah, well you're short.
Ed- WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT A MOLECULE OF WATER LOOKS LIKE AN OCEAN!!
Tony- Heh, you.
Ed- ARG!! (begins running toward Tony, claps his hands and transmutes his arm into a blade)
Me- (grabs Ed's hood and nearly strangles him to keep him from hurting Tony) ok, this is getting too violent and dumb. Say goodbye.
Everyone except L- SAVE US!!
Me- SHUT UP!! (hits everyone w/ mallet, except for L)
L- The following content has been censored out due to extreme violence. Luckily, though, there is cake in the waiting room!