Author has written 23 stories for Tsubasa Chronicle, Fullmetal Alchemist, Inuyasha, Death Note, Fruits Basket, Sherlock, Doctor Who, and Legends of Tomorrow. DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN: Tony Stark, Jarvis teh computerman (Iron Man), Brian Kinney, Michael, Emmett (QAF-USA), Vince (QAF-UK), Gackt (the only real person here...other than me...), Roy, Ed, Al (FMA), Fai, Syaoran, Kurogane, Mokona (Tsubasa), Nakatsu, Kayashima (Hana Kimi), L (Death Note) sob (n) = actions ~n~ = singing Me- so, this is my Fanfic Profile...(gestures around) lovely, isn't it? Tony- why don't I get a profile? I want a profile. Frankly I think I'm an exponentially more interesting person than you and deserve just as much recognition. Me- it's because you're not...boring enough, being a superhero and all. This is to, uh...un-borify my boring-ass life. Brian- are you trying to be amusing? L- Borify isn't a word... Michael- (looks around) why is it so...white? L- the walls are made of a material that reflects all wavelengths of light. Human eyes detect this reflection and call it ‘white'. Ed- (mumbles) show off. Brian- (Gives Tony a seductive smile) Tony- hey, Jarvis, where's my suit? I have a feeling I'm going to need it... (inches away) Jarvis? Voice of Jarvis - at your service, Sir. Tony - (jumps) holy shit! Stop doing that! (looks around, finds VoJ nowhere) Me- this isn't the back room of Babylon, Brian, behave!! Now, where's Gackt? I need to jumphimsexhimlovehim. Gackt- (whispers to Roy) help me. (runs and hides behind Roy) Roy- (grins, holds up fingers in snapping position, chuckles evilly) Me- (puppy eyes) You wouldn't burn me to a crisp, would you? Not when Ed's here! Ed- Hey! Roy- No, unfortunately he's so small he'd just dodge the fire molecules. Ed - WHO'S SO SMALL HE CAN DODGE MOLECULES!! Al- Wow...he actually said that this time... L- Fire isn't a molecule... -_-' Brian- FUCK this is boring!! Me- NOBODY ASKED YOU!! (smacks him) Emmett- (stifles laugh) Brian just got bitch slapped. Me- So, hey Tony! Nakatsu- ~I like the things you do!~ (begins to dance) Tony- (ignores me, pretends to be polishing armor) Me- Hey Tony!! Nakatsu- ~If I could I would be you! You're the one and only tiger, with the one and only taste~ Tony- I do taste good, but...I'm not a tiger... -_-' Nakatsu- ~You know how to take a breakfast and make it GREAT!!~ Ed- What is wrong with him? Kayashima- His aura suggests he is drunk... (sighs) ever since he found out Ashiya is a girl... Nakatsu- ~FROSTED FLAKES are MORE than good! THEY'RE GREAT!!~ Tony- I am pretty kick-ass, aren't I? Me- And you know it, you smug bastard. (shakes head) SO!! I was going to ask...can you give me a ride? Tony- (gives me look-down) aren't you a bit...young? Me- (hits him w/ mallet) NO YOU IDIOT!! I meant FLY!! I want a ride as in FLYING AROUND!! Brian- I'll take a ride. Tony- ...right, that's freaky Me- (puppy eyes) Tony- (sighs) I guess it couldn't hurt... Me- YAY!! Me- ok, I'm back! Wow that was sooocoool! Brian- my turn. Tony- I don't think so. How ‘bout you have a go w/ Jarvis? He's gay. VoJarvis- I most certainly am not! Tony- look, no offense, but anyone who says ‘most certainly' is definitely gay. Jarvis- I am British, BRITISH!! Vince- Oh, my god--you too? Me- you are teh computerman, so how is it you can talk w/out there being speakers here? Jarvis- I am very advanced. L- WHO WANTS PUDDING!? Everyone- (slowly turns to look at L) L- (grins) I like pudding. And cake. And sugar cubes. And jam. And donuts. And ice cream. And coffee. And-- Me- ok, OK, we get it! You like sweets! (Fai and Syaoran pop out of nowhere) Fai- (running around, holding eye) MY EYE!! MY EYE!! HE ATE MY EYE!! Syaoran- (chasing Fai, yelling in zombie voice) Giive meee yooour eeyeebaaall!! Kurogane- (chasing Syaoran) GET AWAY FROM MY LOVER!! Mokona- (chasing bouncing behind Kurogane and...singing...) ~we're chasing Fai, the mage with one eye, the mage with one eye we are chasing is Fai!!~ Kurogane- (whirls around) KNOCK IT OFF!! (continues chasing Syao) (they disappear through the wall) Me- that was...unexpected... Brian- Does all of this happen in your mind normally? Me- ...NO!! (receives stares) I mean...not on good days... (twiddles fingers) Ed- As compared to days like this? (looks around at everyone, pauses at L; mumbles) What a bunch of freaks... Me- HOW DARE YOU CALL MY FAVORITE IMAGINARY-EXCEPT-FOR-GACKT-PEOPLE FREAKS!! (very offended) Gackt- why am I here, anyway? I don't quite fit in... Ed- None of us ‘quite fit in' Me- that reminds me! There's a reason we're all here! Brian- really. (skeptical) Me- (glares at Brian) yes, really. You're all here to prove yourselves as my favorite of favorites. Brian- That's my cue to leave. (starts walking away. Gets to wall, runs into wall) Tony- (bursts into maniacal laughter) Me- so...let's see... (puts finger to lips in contemplative way) (5 minutes later) Me- (finger still to lip, still deep in thought) Tony- is it really that hard? I'm totally the best. Me- (exasperated sigh) screw this, I can't decide and I'm running low on caffeine. L-(hands me latte) Me- you just became my new favorite person. Tony- but I gave you a ride!! Me- that's true...but I think L is the most misunderstood and therefore most needing of my affections. (hugs L) L- (blushes) Al- I have something to say. Everyone- (look to Al, startled that he's actually speaking) Al- (points to Tony) he totally stole my moment! Tony- Huh? Me- you mean the ricochet moment!! (slaps knee) I loved that!! Al- but I did it first!! And it's no fair--his armor can fly! I want my armor to fly! Me- (pats Al) it's ok. I still love you. Ed- and he totally got that pulse palm thing from Lyra. (to Tony) you're a total move-stealer. Tony- yeah, well you're short. Ed- WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT A MOLECULE OF WATER LOOKS LIKE AN OCEAN!! Tony- Heh, you. Ed- ARG!! (begins running toward Tony, claps his hands and transmutes his arm into a blade) Me- (grabs Ed's hood and nearly strangles him to keep him from hurting Tony) ok, this is getting too violent and dumb. Say goodbye. Everyone except L- SAVE US!! Me- SHUT UP!! (hits everyone w/ mallet, except for L) L- The following content has been censored out due to extreme violence. Luckily, though, there is cake in the waiting room! --fades out-- |
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