Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
Name: Master of Random Disaster! MMMAAAHHHAAA!
Location: St. Mungos Hospital for Magical Melodies and Injuries (But I'm currently working on an escape plan! MMMAAAHHHAAA! You know, it’s really hard to pull off anything sneaky when 20 FBI guys are monitoring you 24/7. JUST BECUSE I MADE THE DINOSAURES EXTINCT! COME ON! EVEN YOU DON'T LIKE THE DINOSAURS!
Birthplace: Somewhere vaguely on Mars... I like Mercury too though... MMMAAAHHHAAA!
Catch Phrase: MMMAAAHHHAAA! And occasionally Pie is your FRIEND! Stop eating you FRIEND! AHHHH! CANIBULIZUM! DIE!
Hobbies: I send Moldyie-Oldyie-Voldyie a howler with me singing the song "I'm gunna get you! I'm gunna eat you!" once a week secretly (though, again, it is a challenge being secret with the FBI breathing down your neck)! Does that count as a hobby? No? Okay, I have another one…
(The following is from GetAnnoyed.com)
FUN THINGS TO DO AT A DRIVE THRU ...
1• Specify that this order is "To Go".
2• Drive through the drive in backwards and let your rear seat passenger make the order.
3• At midnight, ask if you are too early for Breakfast.
4• When Ordering, start talking about the problems you were having with your car. Ask if somebody can take a look at it.
5• Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels unwrapped.
6• Laugh loudly when asked if you would like fries with your order.
7• Demand to speak to the manager. When he comes on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said "Would you like fries with your order?"
8• When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just looking and drive off.
9• Tell them you have to use the bathroom - Don't Order anything.
10• Order a hamburger, no bun with two ketchup sachets - Thats all.
11• Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare and say " I know what you did to my food...".
12• When they hand you your food, hand them a bag back with all the junk from your car in it.
13• Honk your horn the whole way through the line.
14• Pretend like your window is broken. Tell the employee this. Order with your door open, pay with your door open. Roll down window and take food through the window.
15• Stand close to the speaker and yell your order, using colorful expletives in ways which would embarrass the patrons inside.
16• After ordering, cover the speaker and mic with transparent tape. Watch as customers and order-takers are unable to hear each other and, thus, each raises his/her volume.
17• Speak a foreign language (make one up if you have to). When the manager comes to the mic, speak English and inquire as to why the order taker had such difficulty understanding you.
18• Attempt to take the order-takers order ("Hi, may I take your order?") before they get a chance to take yours.
19• Order confusing items, i.e., "Hi, I'll have a large orange Coke and a small medium fries, please."
20• In a crowded drive-thru line, place a HUGE order, then slip out of line and watch the fun as the person behind you is handed 40 bags of food.
21• When you arrive at the window to pick up your food, hand them several bags of garbage and ask if they'll dispose of it for you. Make sure it smells.
22• Drive through with a car load of naked people.
23• Speak in such a garbled fashion that the order-taker will think there is a problem with the speaker and ask you to order at the window. When you arrive at the window, speak in the same garbled, incomprehensible fashion.
24• Drive through with someone on the hood to accept the food.
25• Bring along a Mr. Microphone. When the order-taker speaks, aim the mic at their speaker but do so while aiming the Mr. Microphone speaker at the mic to produce excruciating feedback of their own voice.
26• Have a friend hide in the trunk. When you approach the window to pickup your order, have him start yelling and banging his fists on the trunk.
27• If you are a male, have a female friend place the order by speaking VERY seductively and suggestively into the speaker. When she finishes, have her hide and pull up to accept your order. See how many of the order-takers fellow employees have been called over to the window to "check out the babe."
(Questioner attempts to regain composure)
Favorite Web Sight: THIS IS WHAT I WAS WAITING FOR! (Though Q 4-6 was fun!) Here is an Exserpt from MuggleNet.com:
1. Ask him why he 'doesn't have such a cool scar?'
2. Laugh at him.
3. Wake him up by singing Beach Boys songs in his ear. 'Round, round, get around, I get around...'
4. Knit him things. Really hideous things.
5. Give him kangaroo-ears for a month.
6. Smile during Death-Eater meetings and say you taught him everything he knows.
7. Chew bubblegum all the time. Should he address you, your only response will be a series of huge bubbles in quick succession, the last of which will burst everywhere and make a mess.
8. Dance the Funky Chicken.
9. Ask him when was the last time he took a bath.
10. Pat him on the head and give him flowers when his plans are foiled yet again.
11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him.
12. Play 'knock-&-run' at his bedchamber door late at night.
13. Call him 'The-man-who-let-the-boy-live'
14. Ask why the Dark Mark couldn't look like something 'more socially acceptable?'
15. Insist that you have met chunks of cheese with more cunning plans than his.
16. Pinch him. Make sure he squeals.
17. Be cheerful.
18. When he tries to impress you with his powers say 'Awwwww, look it. Voldie's got a twiggle!'
19. Try to teach him to play a mouth organ.
20. Roll your eyes during plotting sessions and say things under your breath like 'You're the boss, boss' or 'It's your funeral.'
21. Greet him in the mornings with a sarcastic 'My sir, you look particularly menacing today.'
22. Taunt him about his middle name. 'Marvolo? What’s that, a washing detergent?'
23. Keep a 'good-behavior chart'. Award points and give out gold stars.
24. Magic-marker Potter-style glasses on him while he sleeps.
25. Apparate into and out of his room rapidly. Do this non-stop for an hour. poof there poof gone poof there...
26. Play cards with him. Tell him he has no poker-face and how does he expect to rule supreme without one?
27. Let off party-poppers in his face whenever the urge strikes you.
28. 'Did you even HAVE a girlfriend? Like, ever?'
29. Get a pair of finger puppets closely resembling himself and Harry Potter. Re-enact all of Harry's victories over him in a spectacularly childish way. Be sure to give them both squeaky voices.
30. Anytime he enters any room, insist on entering first and announcing him grandly.
31. In these announcements, fake a trumpet noise and give him an equally fake drum roll.
32. Exclaim sarcastically 'You're breakin' my little heart here, o dark one' whenever he starts to talk of what has caused to become who he is.
33. Encourage him to 'think happy thoughts!'
34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling.
35. Mock his choice of Quirrel as a 'host'.
36. Tell you think a yoga class could 'cure him of his wicked ways'
37. Get the song 'Mr. Tambourine Man' stuck in his head.
38. If he's having evil-plotter's-block in one of his scheming sessions 'Wingardium Leviosa' a light bulb to float above his head. Turn it on. Look offended when he gets angry and say you 'thought you were helping!'
39. Tell him constantly to stop repressing his anger.
40. Buy him a stress ball.
41. Hint that he is only a character in a book and will never triumph.
42. Call him Tommy-boy.
43. If you're feeling gutsy, call him Voldie-poo.
44. Whack him in the arm and say 'mosquito' - every few minutes.
45. Say he 'looked better under the turban'
46. Eat his pet snake. Offer him some.
47. Endeavour to teach him to steeple his fingers, lean back and say 'Eeeexcellent'.
48. Start drawing outlandish parallels between his life story and 'Star Wars'. Talk at great length.
49. Be generally in awe of him and never look away.
50. 'Imperious' his Death Eaters into a rousing chorus of 'All Things Bright And Beautiful'
51. Shower him with confetti and rice, anytime you think he needs to make a 'grand entry'.
52. Paint all the Death-Eater masks with bright colors and glitter.
53. Throw him a 'care-bears' themed birthday party.
54. Tell him what Snape's really up to.
55. Politely exclaim now and again that you 'don't know how he can be so afraid of dear old Dumbles'
56. Sing 'California Dreamin' at the top of your lungs when he's trying to have an 'evil moment'
57. Should you ever be eating with him - drum tunes with your cutlery; play with your food and blow bubbles in your chocolate milk.
58. Ask him to dance a polka with you.
59. Work cutesy phrases like 'pushing-up-daisies' and 'smooth-as-a-baby's-bottom' into conversation as much as possible.
60. Ask him if he's sure 'the whole evil-maniac-out-for-power-and-revenge thing isn't getting a bit old?'
61. Get him to play 'Twister' with you.
62. Tell him you know this great therapist in London...
63. Throw Tupperware parties. Insist he sit through them.
64. Tell him you've met plenty of people more evil than he.
65. Hide his teddy bear. That ALWAYS makes him cry.
66. Get him a plant. Act mortally offended when he doesn't water it and it dies.
67. Steal, snap and bury his wand.
68. Tell him Lucius did it.
69. Give Rita Skeeter full knowledge of his whereabouts and contact details.
70. Remind him that he isn't even really alive.
71. Write him a theme song. Start singing it whenever he is about to do or say something particularly clever and nasty.
72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause'
73. Insist on reading him bedtime stories. Include 'The Ugly Duckling'
74. Make vague allusions to Harry Potter being his son.
75. When he's done something particularly nasty - cross your arms, waggle a finger and say 'Now now, do you really think Salazar would have approved of that?'
76. Ask him how he can possibly wish to harm a single hair on the head of 'that sweet, innocent, cute little boy.'
77. Tell him Wormtail has a crush on him.
78. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy."
79. Leave disgusting and rotting dead things near him. Insist that it is 'Aromatherapy'
80. Begin any question you ask him with 'Riddle me this!' Emphasis on Riddle.
81. Do not EVER act in the slightest way intimidated by him. Treat him as you would an eccentric acquaintance.
82. Cuddle him at random moments.
83. Sign him up for Little-League.
84. Ask him why he's afraid of a frail old man with a beard the size of a beehive and can't fight babies.
85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly.
86. Tell him you think evil master plans of world domination are 'kind of girlie'
87. Quote Argus Filch. Insist HE will one day rule the wizarding world.
88. Wonder aloud whether the name Voldemort commands as much respect as, say, Potter or Dumbledore.
89. Mimic everything he says in a sing-song voice.
90. Mimic everything he does with exaggerated limb-movements.
91. Write sonnets for him.
92. Insist he help you with the newspaper crossword every morning.
93. Follow a few paces behind him, spraying everything he touches with a can of disinfectant.
94. Tell people he's 'really just a big softie'
95. Psychoanalyze him. Conclude that he is 'mildly depressed' and 'a bit of a control-freak'.
96. Mock his baldness.
97. Smile and say loudly 'Who loves you, Volders?' at inopportune moments. (I.e.: another of his attempted 'evil moments')
98. Get him drunk.
99. Drag out a banjo at Death Eater revels and start playing 'Kumbayah'
100. Let him catch you trying on Death-Eater robes.
101. Be Harry Potter. Be alive.
~~~~From my own personal collection that is NOT on Mugglenet.com~~~~
102. Point out that he can not be truly evil. Elaborate that he blamed the whole 'snake incident' on someone else, and how a serious villain would have taken the credit themselves. -imagine I was a star
103. Tell him that he simply isn't committed enough to rule the world. He should get an evil secretary. -Master of Random Disaster
104. Inform him that he seriously lacks consistency, and taking an eleven-year holiday will not look good on his resume. -Master of Random Disaster
105. Send him a letter 'concerning his application to the Pureblood Wizards Are Us club'. Inform him that he didn't qualify. -The Stars Shine Brightly
(Questioner Is still laughing from 'the list')