Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
Hi, I'm messyblackhair66.
I'm in high school, which generally means I'm not old enough to vote, buy cigarettes or cigars, consume alcohol, join the army, or get married. It also means I shouldn't be posting my name on a website open to the entire world. Sue me.
I started reading the harry potters when I was in second grade and ever since then, they've been my all-time complete favorite books. I've read all of them at least eleven times (at last count). I've always had a weird thing for JPLE... you won't see me writing any other fanfics. Except maybe BWFD.
My beta/editor is Lisa (L-Ae-D) and she's totally awesome. Although she seems to have disappeared off the face of the earth lately, but I guess that's what college does to you.
Pet Peeves About JPLE Fanfictions (Note: This is Pre-Deathly Hallows)
The little things about JPLE fanfics completely annoy me. I know it's the writer's RIGHT and all, but there are just certain things.
-When writers describe Lily's hair as "scarlet" or "crimson" or "bloodred"... well... unless she dyed it, y'know... not gonna happen. That's like, fire engine red, folks.
- When writers describe James and Sirius (not to mention Remus!) as "serial womanizers" and make them have sex like every night. Okay, so not happening. There isn't even a tiny bit in the books about that... Rowling actually says that Sirius IGNORES the girl who looked at him in 5th year. I read this one story where some girl was squealing because "Remus pinched her ass, omg!" I mean, are you serious? Like do you actually consider yourself a human being after writing that? ...
- Oftentimes Lily's father or James's father is named Harold. This is because writers assume that Harry is short for Harold and that Lily or James wanted to name their baby boy after their fathers. In England, Harry is NOT short for Harold so much as it is short for HENRY. Think outside the box a little. If you knew even the slightest bit about England, you would know that all their King Henrys were nicknamed Harry. Harry is short for Henry in England - it's just how it is. I want to cry EVERY TIME I see a Mr. Evans or Mr. Potter named Harold.
- James and Lily do not have any siblings other than Petunia. Neither of them have a twin. James's twin is not Lily's best friend. Neither of them have huge families. Deal with it.
- If James Potter were to have a nickname, it would be Jamie or Prongs. It would not be Prongsie, Prongsie-poo, or anything of the sort. And it would especially, ESPECIALLY not be Jamesie. That is not a name. It's Jamie. Go watch Love Actually or something - he's nicknamed Jamie for James.
- On that note, James would not shorten the nickname "Padfoot" by calling Sirius "Pads". Get a grip. That is a sanitary napkin.
- When Lily's friends go out with James's friends. As totally, like, perfect as that would be, does that happen? No.
- Sirius Black wasn't on the Quidditch team. He just WASN'T.
- Peter exists. Don't cut him out because he's ugly. How would you like it if someone erased your life because you were a bad writer?
- Hogwarts is in Britain. Everyone who goes there is British. Exchange students just... don't happen. American, French, hot Italian... nada. On that note, her friends will have British names. Consider Mary Macdonald and don't name them "Riley", "Missy", or other very American names.
- While we're talking about names, do you really consider it likely that Lily was biffles with Emmeline Vance and Hestia Jones? Sure, it's convenient, because we know they exist due to that scene at the beginning of OotP. But if they had known Lily very well and been devastated by her death, wouldn't they have been a bit more emotional at seeing Harry? Instead of... what was it that Hestia did? Wave from next to the toaster?
- Why can't writers just accept that Lily's name is JUST THAT - Lily. Not Lillian, Liliana, Lilialana, or anything like that. Her sister's name is Petunia, for Pete's sake. Her parents liked flowers. Capisce?
-And let's get this straight once and for all - YOU DON'T GET A HOT BODY BY PLAYING FREAKIN' QUIDDITCH! THEY FLY! WHERE IS THE MUSCLE IN HOLDING ON TO A BROOMSTICK!
-Don't call yourself an author. You are writing words using another's ideas. JKR is the author: you are a writer. I do not pretend to call myself an author of Harry Potter fanfictions. Neither should you. If I were writing another story using entirely my own ideas, I would be an author. This is why "AN"'s annoy me...
- I don't see the point of posting a story that is very AU on fanfiction.net. For example, I read a story a while ago where Lily and James were passengers on the Titanic. There was no magic involved (they were Muggles) and their relationship wasn't what it was in the books. The only similarity was their names and appearances. This is stupid. Of course, I may just be pissed off because that writer hasn't updated in over a year...
I have ample amounts of respect for the fanfiction.net writers' creative liscenses, and applaud them for ... thinking up new (if inaccurate) ideas. Kudos for you. I also know that if I don't like the way a story is going (AKA it includes one or more of my pet peeves) I should not read it. There are thousands of Harry Potter fanfics out there - why should I rag on this particular writer about theirs? Because stories are supposed to be enjoyable and about the Potterverse, that's why. If it is AU, then say so.
Anyway. Sorry. Pet peeves. I'm a very picky reader, as you can totally tell.
Writer's Note After Reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows:
What the fuck? Would you like me to list my quarrels with this book? Okay.
Lily and Snape were friends. Lily knew about magic before Hogwarts. Lily knew Snape before Hogwarts. Petunia called Lily a freak multiple times on one page. Lily called Snape "Sev" (pause while writer vomits). Fred died. Ron just learned Parseltongue? Nice. He imitated Harry? Nice. Ron and Hermione got together over the house elves. And then promptly forgot about them. FRED FREAKING DIED. I have more, but are so many I'll post them later. Oh, my. Don't even get me started on that epilogue! I know it was meant to be overly happy. I KNOW. But did they really have to name him Hugo? And name every single one of their children after dead people? Except Lily, whose middle name was randomly Luna. I, for one, would have been happy with a nice "Nick" or something.
Fave ships: JPLE (of course.), RWHG (so obvious), HPGW (again... what took them so long?), BWFD (it's so typical and adorable), and for a strange reason, SSLE but only if it's unreciprocated (he being in love with her, but she just pitying him).
NOT SO FAVE ships: HPDM (don't like slash...), HPRW (HOW THICK CAN YOU GET?), HPHG (They're friends. He's all Ginny's.). Oh, and DEFINITELY SBRL is THE MOST GROSS SHIP I'VE EVER HEARD OF and people who go around saying "Remus is my Whore-Crux" are definitely not on my list of friends. So, yeah. Basically, slash sucks and I'm a canon type of girl.
Review, as always!
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