Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.
Dragon: Oh. My. God.
Taeka: (confused look) What?
Dragon: Oh. My. God.
Dragon: (falls off of bed, before letting out a faint scream and diving under the bed)
Taeka: … Okaaaaaay …
Sasuke: (still behind camera) I …think she’s in a state of shock.
Taeka: (manages to pick up a pen with her paw and shove it in her ear, slapping a pillow over the other one) About what?
Sasuke: Why in the name of Kami are you asking me? Aren’t you supposed to be her ‘significant other’ or something?
Taeka: (growls, and bears her nice, long, sharp, pointy teeth) I swear if one more person makes one more snide comment about that they will find more than one of my teeth tearing apart a place where the sun don’t shine.
Sasuke: …right then.
Dragon: So …so …HIDEOUS!!!
Taeka: (sigh) I know what this is about. (faces camera) Here’s the cheat-cheat version. This one over here, (points to insane authoress currently ‘hiding’ under the bed) being the lazy arse that she is, decided that she didn’t really feel like doing all the work she had to catch up on for the end of the school year, never mind all the studying she still has to do. (rolls eyes) ANYWHO, Being bored, and slightly guilty –
Sasuke: Guilty? Guilty of what?
Taeka: (glares at camera) If you let me finish you insufferable, jackarse of a ninja …she went on Fanfiction, and decided to read what she had posted so far. (sigh) Big mistake. Being the totally inane perfectionist and self-beater that she is, she sort of had a mental breakdown.
Dragon: (screams again, before for some unknown reason the bed jumps and Taeka is sent flying before landing on the bed)
Taeka: (completely unfazed) We thought we could calm her down enough to get her to explain why she hasn’t been on lately, but you can see this turned out with mixed results.
Sasuke: Then why are we still rolling? You could have just come on, said she was going mental and wouldn’t be on, and then left. I don’t even need to be here!
Taeka: (rolls eyes) Oh yea, and suffer through her meltdown alone? Listen buddy, I suffer, you suffer. Comprende?
Sasuke: …um …
Taeka: (deadpans) It means ‘do you comprehend’ you moron. (looks down at bed) When she stops foaming at the mouth, I’ll ask her why the thought of hiring you even crossed her mind…
Sasuke: (snort) Join the club. I ask myself why I caved in to her every day …the little wimp …
Taeka: (raises eyebrow) That’s because I threatened to eat you, remember?
Sasuke: (pause) Oh, right. (cough) Can you get on with it already?
Taeka: (blinks, then snarls) Little …whatever. Point is people, she is probably going to take down everything she has, and totally revamp every story she has put up and hasn’t. Pray for some updates sometime after school ends.
Sasuke: (incredulous) What, you expect her to update that quickly?
Taeka: Not really …but it never hurts to pray does it?
Liz (friend of Dragon’s): (offstage) Oh yeah, you go and pray. Last time I did that I got my little sister! Have fun praying losers!
Taeka: (puts paw to face) What she sees in that girl I will never know …
Dragon: (screams …again)
Taeka: SHUT THE H/LL UP!!!