Cryptic Sarcasm
hide bio
Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-04-05, id: 925035
Author has written 3 stories for Lord of the Rings, Tuck Everlasting, and Harry Potter.

Most likely harmful to your general mental health.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I WON, I WON, NEENER, NEENER, NEENERRR! by All-Knowing Alien 2 reviews
Sauron FINALLY gets the Ring, but soon learns the downside when he has to deal with Sues, the 9 and three quarters Nazgul, Valar!Sues and...worser things. -EVIL laugh- Rated T for language and questionable themes. Don't own LoTR or the wonderful Koss.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 131,536 - Reviews: 505 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 3/4/2014 - Published: 3/15/2006 - Sauron
To Whom it May Concern by Opal Roseblossom reviews
Beckett Fowl writes a letter to a University in an attempt to get into a creative writing program. He thinks back to his childhood and what it was like to grow up in a household of geniuses. Or is it genii?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,959 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Complete
The Way by Shire.Conspire reviews
Draco Malfoy, the rich and arrogant fool. Pansy Parkinson, the wealthy and stubborn brat...Draco Malfoy, the abused and trialed hero. Pansy Parkinson, the brave and emotional heroine. Everything's more interesting on the dark side.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 269,876 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 3/27/2008 - Published: 7/21/2003 - Draco M., Pansy P.
Quick, Grab the Cheese Wheels and Run! by charmingly-holly reviews
Ginny Weasely is stuck as Maid of Honor in two separate, highly unconventonal weddings. She's none too happy about the situation, as it only reminds her that she is Without a Wizard. To top things off, she's hungry, and she's not allowed to eat her hat...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 98,769 - Reviews: 1507 - Favs: 738 - Follows: 522 - Updated: 8/9/2007 - Published: 5/11/2005 - Ginny W., Harry P.
Blood Is Thicker Than Tears by atruwriter reviews
Draco's entire world is turned upside down when he's told his parents are not the Malfoy's. Struggling not to be killed and to become close with his brother he falls in love with one of his worst enemies, his brother's best friend. [ABANDONED]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 61 - Words: 420,484 - Reviews: 3153 - Favs: 1,294 - Follows: 941 - Updated: 4/14/2007 - Published: 3/27/2006 - [Draco M., Hermione G.]
Survivor by atruwriter reviews
Waiting. He was always waiting. He'd already buried one best friend and now the other will follow. There was nothing he could do or say. There was no Harry without Hermione. Ron witnessed the beginning and now he must accept the end. HHr. 4parts Complete!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 37,668 - Reviews: 660 - Favs: 1,440 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 4/8/2007 - Published: 3/26/2007 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] - Complete
Bus Stop by Marmalade Fever reviews
Every morning, Draco and Hermione meet at the bus stop. A romance revolving around an umbrella. DMHG Post HBP COMPLETE Winner at the Dramione Awards.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,486 - Reviews: 1102 - Favs: 3,754 - Follows: 536 - Updated: 3/30/2007 - Published: 12/1/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Goblet of Fire For Kindergartens! by truemizzie reviews
You've waited for it, and now it's here: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for Kindergartens!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 422 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/18/2006 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Killing You Softly by Satomi-chan reviews
Secret agents, Sakura Kinomoto and Syaoran Li, have been partners for years and never seemed to get along. Somehow they still succeeded in all their missions and are the top agents for JSA (Japan's Secret Agency). Their secret to success? They have had feelings for each other all this time. (IN REWRITING PROCESS to remember and finish the final chapter.)
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 56,650 - Reviews: 571 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 9/25/2006 - Published: 1/5/2006 - Sakura K., Syaoran L.
They Play Soccer in Middle Earth, Too! by EvilReceptionistOfDoom reviews
Rohan vs. Moria football match. Who will proceed towards the Arda Cup semifinals? Who will not survive the tournament? Will weapons be disallowed from the field? Does the goal count if your horse kicks it in? ...pretty please review
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,027 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/11/2006 - Published: 6/29/2006 - Complete
Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around by crazyroninchic reviews
Several members of the Fellowship come across a Marysue Legomance. Chaos ensues…A bit of light humor and MS satire. If for nothing else, read to imagine the looks on Leggie’s face…COMPLETED
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 49,741 - Reviews: 2195 - Favs: 851 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 8/3/2005 - Published: 1/22/2005 - Complete
Ace! by Marvelle Petit reviews
Sakura's goal is to become a professional tennis player, and Tokodai is the road to take. One problem - it is an all male college. What will Sakura do, especially when she starts liking the team captain Syaoran?
Card Captor Sakura - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,829 - Reviews: 631 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 5/6/2005 - Published: 11/1/2003 - Sakura K., Syaoran L.
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2754 - Favs: 6,850 - Follows: 511 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
Ode To Gollum by kymm reviews
Hehehe...I have a strange obssesion about Gollum. :) Read the title, about Gollum, the best character in LOTR!!!!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 136 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/17/2000
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I Have Every Reason To Hate You reviews
An unsent letter from Hermione to Draco while she sits in her cell. HGxDM pairing. After a different version of the seventh book occurs. Voldemort has won. Now updated with another chapter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,760 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/21/2007 - Published: 7/1/2007 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Diary of Willow Robinson, captive of MarySue reviews
Here am I, Willow Robinson, in the middle of well, Middle Earth. With a MarySue..When fate gives you lemons, squish the lemon juice back in its face. Rated for language. Warning. OOC and OC.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,905 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 3/31/2007 - Published: 7/6/2006
Love Everlasting reviews
When Jesse sees Winnie’s grave, he is thrown into despair. However, he receives a letter addressed to him from Winnie… Mostly drabble oneshot. I don't own it!
Tuck Everlasting - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 399 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/25/2007 - Complete