Poll: What should Sherlock Holmes' ultimate religious affiliation in my story? Vote Now!
Author has written 25 stories for Danny Phantom, Teen Titans, Avatar: Last Airbender, James Bond, Gilmore Girls, Sherlock Holmes, Bob Lee Swagger novels, Spider-Man, Kick-Ass, Boondock Saints, and Incredible Hulk.
Real Name: That knowledge comes at a terrible price. Are you willing to pay it? Didn't think so. You can just call me Johannes Amadeus Kleiser.
Place of Birth: Juno, Alaska (seriously, I was born in Alaska.)
Favorite Foods: Pizza and Cheeseburgers.
Year of Birth: 1991 A.D.
Current Place of Residence: If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Suffice to say, it's currently on the Northeastern coast of Scotland.
Favorite Authors: Epictetus; Sir Arthur Conan Doyle; Xenophon; Edgar Allen Poe; Fyodor Dostoevsky; Isaac Asimov; Milton Helpern; Friedrich Nietzsche; Sun Tzu; William Shakespeare; Evan Marshall; Edvin J. Sanow; R.A. Salvatore; David Simon; Alexandre Dumas; Stephen Hunter; Neil Gaiman; and my favorite of all: Stan Lee.
Birthday: January 24th.
Favorite Shows: Danny Phantom, Boy Meets World, Avatar: The Last Airbender, King of the Hill, Family Guy, American Dad, The Simpsons, The War at Home, Grounded for Life, Full House, Kong, Dragon Ball, Family Matters, Roseanne, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Favorite Movies: Spider-Man, X-Men, Bat-Man Begins, The Punisher, The Hulk, Dare-Devil, Elektra, Ultimate Avengers II, North by Northwest, Jet Li's Fearless, Shooter, Ghost Rider, Singin' in the Rain, Stagecoach, 300, The Last Samurai.
Favorite Activity: Reading. Especially comic books. I can read just about anything for hours on end. I also enjoy writing fanfictions, and I plan to write my own novel before I'm 21, and maybe even a play.
Ten Essential Books For Every Intellectual: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Anabasis, The Art of War, The Complete Works of Friedrich Nietzsche, The Count of Monte Cristo, Crime and Punishment, The Enchiridion, Handgun Stopping Power, Homicide, Where Death Delights, Walden.
Things that really, really piss me off:
1) The Egyptians (more accurately, their cotton factories. My blankets and bedsheets always have substandard thread counts. I know, I count them using a jeweler's eyeglass.)
2.) Slash fics (I'm actually semi-okay with Yuri, but I have ZERO comfort with yaoi and even less with incest.)
3.) HIPPIES! (I hate hippies. As far as I'm concerned, "hippie" is short for hypocrite.)
4.) Fuckin' Treehuggers. (look in the Bible: animals were put here to delight and sustain us. No matter how much you can love animals, they won't ever have any other purpose.)
5.) Homosexuals (Gay people are always hitting on me. I can't figure out why, 'cause I'm no great looker.)
6.) People who use the word "angst" wrong. IT FUCKING MEANS "FEAR," PEOPLE!! NOT DEPRESSION!! It's derived from the Middle High German word for FEAR!! Okay, glad that we're clear on that.
7.) People who use the words "slut" and "whore" interchangabley, because they aren't. "Slut" means someone who is sexually promiscuous (it encompasses both men and women). "Whore" means someone who accepts money in exchange for sexual relations. A person can be both, BUT THEY DON'T MEAN THE SAME THING.
1.) Listening to John Williams' "Imperial March" and marching through the house pretending I'm Adolf Hitler strolling through the streets of Germany and everyone is saluting me.
2.) Kicking people's asses.
3.) Torturing people in obscure ways. Especially Chinese bamboo torture and Japanese water torture. Those REALLY do it for me.
My Most Common Nicknames at my high school:
1.) "Roast in Hell, you pompous bastard!"
2.) "Fuck off and die!"
3.) Cabbage (don't ask, you don't wanna know)
I like making OCs. I have some for Danny Phantom, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Pirates of the Caribbean, X-Men the Movie, X-Men Evolution and various other movies, TV shows, books, and cartoons. And since I can't use them all myself, I'm more than glad to lend them out to anyone who needs them. Just tell me what you need an OC for and I'll send you a list of OC for that particular area. You can pick and choose the ones you want, but you have to give me credit for them in your disclaimers. The only ones who are exempt from this rule of asking my permission to use my OCs are my friends Jinxeh, Lisa-24-7, Andrew Laplante, Knowledge in the Hollow Noggin, The Poisoned Doughnut of DOOM, and Niliathiel.
You know you live in 2007 when...
1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this into your profile!
If you ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" copy this into your profile.
If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.
Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you are obsessed with Danny Phantom, copy this into your profile.
98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God- forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley bored, Gem W, Bara- Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Carzy Billie Joe loving freak, shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/ fairy to be, The Gypsy- Pirate Queen, MCR Rocks, Andrew Laplante, 2wingo.
If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a hard-nosed, conservative, Republican-type person with little time for wishy-washy, feelgood nonsense, copy and paste this into your profile.
A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want a 4th season of Xiaolin Showdown, copy and paste this to your profile.
Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! Did you know that to get the fur, they club, drown, and anal electrocute the poor animals? And why are they so cruel? Because they don't want to ruin the furs! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile!
Deo Ducente Nil Nocet. "Nothing can harm us when God leads us." If you believe this, copy and paste it into your profile.
If you hate chat speak, copy and paste this in your profile.
Grammar Nazis will rule the world someday. If you are a Grammar Nazi, copy and paste this into your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, why aren't two mooses meese, or if two foots are feet, why arn't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, but I'm just random!(but I'm crayzee too) If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of the teenage population has switched to Rap. If you are in the 8 percent who still ROCKS, copy & paste this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this to your profile.
93 percent of american teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" or "Your point being?" or "You just realized this now?" or "Wow, you're even more stupid than you look." or nevermind, just copy this to your profile and add your name to this list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the C.O.C.A, Invader Miley Phantom, Phantom Figure, deadzonedragon, Dpbuckeye, 2wingo . . .
If you have had or are having surgery, copy and paste this into your profile: Rudersovgy, Dreamweaver010, Fulcon, 2wingo.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this into your profile.
I prefer solitude over company. Copy and paste this in your profile you have the same feeling.
Copy and Paste this into your profile if you didn't know that the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune, and all were composed by Mozart.
98 percent of the Internet population has a Myspace account. If you're part of the 2 percent that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that DarkDP has a right to publish his art as long as it doesn't hurt anybody, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that blaming McDonald's for the obesity problem is like blaming Smith & Wesson for what happened at Virgina Tech, copy and paste this into your profile.
I, 2wingo, do solemnly swear to review all the fics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else.
I have joined the review revolution.
You say Hannah Montana, I say Hank Williams Jr. You say Jonas Brothers, I say Johnny Cash. You say Alex Wolff, I say Merle Haggard. 98 percent of teenagers have switched to pointless bubblegum pop and pseudo-rock music. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't afraid to pledge alligence to the Hagg and to Country, copy and paste this into your profile.
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