Elizabeth Tudor
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Joined 12-20-05, id: 953741, Profile Updated: 12-15-11
Author has written 24 stories for Phantom of the Opera, Harry Potter, LXG, Moulin Rouge, Pirates of the Caribbean, Maximum Ride, Lord of the Rings, Artemis Fowl, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, National Treasure, Shakespeare, and Sherlock.

I firmly believe that it is a mark of an inferior craftsman to blame your tools for your failings. "I couldn't make a bookcase because my hammer is stupid" is never an acceptable excuse. Neither is "My writing is bad because my computer doesn't have spellcheck." A true artist adapts to what they do have. A bad artist whines about what they don't.

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Members of the Viridian Republicrat political party include:

Raelin Lupin
Lord Godric of Gryffindor
Sammeh-Sama

Elizabeth Tudor
Racoona

PM me if you are interested in joining or would like to know more about it!

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Weird Facts about Me

Sulking when I'm upset makes me happy.

I hate cornfields. They creep me out. And just my luck, I live in Illinois.

I'm literally addicted to Thai food. Real Thai food - weird ingredients and spicy as all get-out, not the fried, cheap soy-sauce-and-rice fake Chinese you find everywhere.

My voice goes low in the mornings and high in the evenings. I don’t know why.

I have a huge appreciation for music of every kind, but as far as creating it myself, I have all the talent of your average arthritic tortoise. Can't sing, can't play an instrument, can't keep a beat, can barely hum. Despite this, I seem to be playing baritone in the school marching band. I'm still not sure why.

I think I may have anarchistic tendencies.

If I had a daemon, it would be a winged cat.

I have a fetish for pointed ears.

As far as my age, I've been told that I come across as anything from eleven to thirty-something. I am in my teens. Let's leave it there.

If I was a boy, my name would be Peter.

I keep racing pigeons. Yes, you read that right. Racing pigeons.

No one knows for sure what color my eyes are, not even my optometrist.

I despise Walmart more than almost anything else, and I'm convinced that it's going to take over the world. There is a reason for this assumption, beyond my own paranoia. If you're interested in details, PM me.

I like the popping noise a cork makes as it comes out of a bottle.

Almost as much as I love writing, I love working with my hands, especially when creating steampunk costumes.

I have a tendency to give random inanimate objects names and personalities.

I tend to start laughing uncontrollably at really inappropriate moments. Like funerals...and job interviews...and the middle of Titanic...

I have synesthesia, which means I associate textures, shapes, and especially colors with other things, like letters, words, voices, and sounds. For instance, my best friend's name is a smoky green color, and her voice is swirling green and brown, with a texture like smoke. Rhapsody in Blue is actually red and gold for me, and the word xenophobia is a strange mix of black, red, orange-yellow, and brown. To answer a common question, yes, I enjoy having it, and I consider it an amazing gift that I would not trade for anything.

Favorite Quotes

The concrete will crack.
I will be there when it does
To worship the grass.

Whoever said sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the pouring rain.

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

If someone told me I only had six minutes to live, I wouldn't waste time complaining or bargaining, I'd type faster.

All Bette's stories had happy endings. That's because she knew where to stop. She'd realized the real problem with stories - if you kept them going long enough, they always ended in death.

When I have money, I buy books. If there's any left over after that, then I get food and clothes.

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

Anything's possible if you've got enough nerve.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap them upside the head.

It's usually better to ask forgiveness than permission.

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.

Invisible Pink Unicorns are beings of great spiritual power. We know this because they are capable of being invisible and pink at the same time. Like all religions, the faith of the Invisible Pink Unicorn is based upon both logic and faith. We have faith that they are pink; we logically know that they are invisible because we can't see them.

Flying is really very simple. It's just a matter of jumping and missing the ground.

A woman is like a teabag: you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way. Wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

Religious wars, at their most basic, are two groups fighting over who has the best imaginary friend.

Life is something that happens when you can't sleep.

Sometimes in a crowd, I feel like a tomato in a fruit basket; I technically belong, but I can't help feeling out of place.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice. Then sit back and let them wonder how the hell you did it.

Money can’t buy happiness. However, it can buy chocolate, which releases endorphins that cause happiness.

War doesn't decide who's right. It decides who's left.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Don't make a scene? Oh, don't worry, I won't. I'll give you a whole damn Broadway musical!

I love acting. It's so much more real than life.

Have you ever noticed how most religious wars are made up of two groups killing each other to determine whose is the true religion of peace?

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

How can you leave lasting footprints if you tiptoe everywhere?

Painting is the act of protecting a surface from the elements and exposing it to the critics.

If you don't know where you're going, you can never get lost.

When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap.

Knowing human nature is knowing that if you gave ten people a rope and said “Pull,” three would pull, two would push, another three would give you a stupid look and say, “What?,” one of the remaining two would tell you to do something anatomically unlikely, and the last would steal the rope.

Well-behaved women rarely make history.

The problem with America is stupidity. Now, I'm not saying stupidity ought to be a capital crime, but why don't we just take the safety labels off everything and let the problem solve itself?

Friends are best with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

No one ever said life would be easy. They just said it would be worth it.

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I am in complete and utter support of gay marriage. I myself am not gay, but I think it is ridiculous to refuse to recognize it as a normal, healthy relationship deserving all the same considerations and rights as any other relationship.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things, like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

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Code 221b by whitchry9 reviews
Sherlock Holmes is well known to the paramedics of London. So when John Watson comes into the picture, it seems like a fantastic solution. Someone would take care of Sherlock and prevent all those problems. Of course, they didn't think about what would happen if John was hurt. (They really should have.) 11 chapters. Written for a prompt. Outsider point of view.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 6,629 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 3/19/2014 - Published: 2/17/2014 - Sherlock H., John W., OC - Complete
The Secret Identity of John Watson by scifigrl47 reviews
Taken out of context, John Watson leads a terrifying life. You have to wonder what those poor women he dates thinks of it, especially if John decides to try keeping one away from Sherlock, and Sherlock decides that it'd be best if he could get rid of her
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 29,251 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 891 - Follows: 137 - Updated: 4/14/2012 - Published: 3/29/2012 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 reviews
When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 39,906 - Reviews: 807 - Favs: 2,532 - Follows: 365 - Updated: 3/17/2012 - Published: 2/26/2012 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Browsing The Archives by Handful of Silence reviews
Lestrade and some of the Yarders secretly write fanfiction about the world's only consulting detective and his flatmate. It turns out that they're not the only ones. Johnlock, Mystrade.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,960 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 428 - Follows: 39 - Published: 3/14/2012 - Sherlock H., DI Lestrade - Complete
Matchmaker, Matchmaker by Vash The Humanoid Sunshower reviews
For SherlockBBCfic prompt: Sherlock, upon discovering that John is bisexual but has sworn off men, makes it his mission to set John up on various dates to help him find the perfect man. Hilarity ensues. S/J: Pre-slash/Slash Last chapter up!
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 67,623 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 1,277 - Follows: 623 - Updated: 3/6/2012 - Published: 2/21/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
In Praise of Plato by Evenlodes Friend reviews
When John defends Sherlock against a homophobic slur, it leads to them both reassessing their friendship. Platonic JohnXSherlock. Contains swearing. First of a proposed series of Platonic love stories.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,293 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 357 - Follows: 32 - Published: 2/28/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Dear Joker by 4ofCups reviews
What happens when Ledger's Joker decides to take a hiatus from crime, dabble in journalism and dispense his opinions to the faithful readers of Gotham's premier advice column? He's got his own ideas about tact, social graces and virtue: they're overrated.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 38 - Words: 33,813 - Reviews: 528 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 1/2/2012 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Joker
Cornfield Madness by Tavia reviews
We're back! In honor of On Stranger Tides, I offer you a new chapter in the cornfield, featuring popcorn, bickering, and responses to the recent movie. CONTAINS SPOILERS!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 81,630 - Reviews: 416 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 5/21/2011 - Published: 11/11/2003
Carrion and the Cat, or, Torture by Animal by Amaruk Wolfheart of the Wraith reviews
The war between Day and Night is finally over. However, a new, just as serious, problem has arisen. What is to be done with Christopher Carrion? It's Candy who comes up with the answer: rehabilitation.
Abarat series - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 60,271 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 3/26/2011 - Published: 7/11/2005
Good Golly, Miss Molly by mazarin reviews
"Leave it to Sherlock to get them involved in a blackmail and murder case that leads to private BDSM parties and way too much information about other people's sex lives." Slash, very, very mild BDSM themes.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,333 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 23 - Published: 1/28/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
How the Joker Stole Gotham by Lauralot reviews
The story of The Dark Knight, in the style of Dr. Seuss's How the Grinch Stole Christmas.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/23/2010 - Joker, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
A Bit Black by SBs alive reviews
After a several blows of bad fortune Sirius runs into some unexpected good luck. Kingsley, on the other hand, wishes he had never gotten out of bed today... PoA era, oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,039 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/27/2010 - Sirius B., Kingsley S. - Complete
The Secrets Of Scary People by J-Horror Girl reviews
There's something living in that chest. It's been in there for two hundred years. Don't fool yourself. The lock isn't broken. It just doesn't work... from the outside.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Mystery - Chapters: 60 - Words: 120,616 - Reviews: 1036 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 195 - Updated: 5/27/2010 - Published: 4/8/2009 - J. Crane
Can't Get You Out Of My Head by J-Horror Girl reviews
Out of Arkham and out of his mind, the Joker hits the town with an intangible companion who might be dead but isn't nearly departed. He can't touch her, she can't get away from him, and so they have to make the best of it.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 100 - Words: 177,723 - Reviews: 1838 - Favs: 617 - Follows: 440 - Updated: 5/15/2010 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Joker
Shadow Selves by Lauralot reviews
Living together against both parties' will is hard, and romance is never easy. Especially when your alter egos hate each other. Eventual Wayne/Crane. Sequel to The Knight and The Prince.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 100 - Words: 268,766 - Reviews: 1263 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 12/31/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - J. Crane, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
The Knight and the Prince by Lauralot reviews
Joker decides he wants to play mind games with Batman, and brings the Scarecrow along. Somewhat slash. Sequel to Say That We're Sweethearts Again.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 55 - Words: 167,979 - Reviews: 826 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 12/20/2009 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Joker, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Say That We're Sweethearts Again by Lauralot reviews
It's never easy to reconcile a friendship, especially if you broke the friendship by breaking your friend's ribs. Sequel to The Accidental Therapist.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,599 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/20/2009 - Published: 2/14/2009 - J. Crane, Joker - Complete
Nerd by Night Monkey reviews
The Joker sets out to prove that the Scarecrow is nothing more than a nerd. Can Dr. Crane show that mad scientist and geek are not synonymous? Will he have any dignity left by the end of the Joker's experiment?
Batman - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 85,066 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 12/6/2009 - Published: 3/5/2009 - The Joker, Johnathan C./Scarecrow - Complete
Voyeurism At It's Worst by CayshaGriffin reviews
I didn't mean to see Batman and the Joker kissing, it just happened! Batman/Joker slash, slight OC voyeurism. Enjoy!
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,348 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 11/7/2009 - Published: 10/25/2008
The Accidental Therapist by Lauralot reviews
Sometimes you end up helping the villain, when all you intended was to bring him in. Sequel to Act Like We Are Fools. Rated for gore.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 86,458 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 1/11/2009 - J. Crane, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Dearest Doctor Arkham by Lauralot reviews
The Joker writes a complaint letter to Arkham's administrator. Rated for language and mention of violence.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,088 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Joker - Complete
Leporiphobia by Lauralot reviews
Anything can be terrifying. Even a rabbit.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,596 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/29/2009 - J. Crane - Complete
Burlap by GreyLiliy reviews
Jonathan hadn't meant to buy the burlap. It just sort of happened.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,484 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/11/2009 - J. Crane - Complete
Act Like We Are Fools by Lauralot reviews
This could only end badly, but he couldn't help but go along for the ride. Joker/Crane. Sequel to Mad Friends.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 40 - Words: 108,255 - Reviews: 439 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 11/26/2008 - J. Crane, Joker - Complete
Predatory Urges by Gaia Faye reviews
Assisting Bruce Wayne in a billionaire's day-to-day matters is one thing. Assisting the Joker in a psychopath's day-to-day matters is something else entirely. This fic stars everyone's favorite butler and appropriates aspects of the animated series.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,368 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Alfred P., Joker - Complete
Mad Friends by Lauralot reviews
Joker wasn't the only one Harleen Quinzel treated. The story of her fall to darkness through the eyes of her patient and friend, Jonathan Crane. Rated M to be safe.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Friendship - Chapters: 40 - Words: 87,535 - Reviews: 218 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/24/2008 - Published: 10/5/2008 - Complete
Trick or Treat by CSI Clue reviews
It's Halloween and things around the Stark Mansion are a little . . . looney.
Ironman - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,943 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/24/2008 - Complete
We Don't Wash Off by Darkaus reviews
You see when I go home, and wash this face off... I don't go down the drain with it. I 'Stay,' and you, you... you think you can just take that mask off? No-no, that's, that's insane You can't go back, Batman... It's far too late.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,851 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Complete
I Know Where I've Been by Mn04K reviews
Really, her situation was absurd. And most unfair. Wasn’t having Elphaba – green, antisocial, unpopular, moodified Elphaba- as a roommate enough? Was it really necessary to make her have a crush on the green girl, too? Gelphie
Wicked - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,300 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 7/16/2008 - Published: 3/14/2008
The Prank Wars by EdwardAddict reviews
COMPLETE! Fang wants revenge for having to play Truth or Dare. Of course, Max strikes back. It turns into an all out Prank War. Even Ari and Jeb are getting involved. Is this an epidemic? MANGNESS! Voted Best Humor fic in the MR fanfic awards
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 31,518 - Reviews: 1484 - Favs: 426 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 12/27/2007 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Fang, Max - Complete
Sparrington by SmittyChittyBangBang reviews
Ironically, this fic contains no slash, but does contain Captain Jack Sparrow and James Norrington exploring the wonderous world that is the POTC fandom. Heaven help them.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,587 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 10/10/2007 - Published: 8/16/2006
Annoying Professor Snape by Numairs-Magelet reviews
The original Annoying Professor Snape fic! Yes, it's back. Insanity ensues when Hermione accepts a challenge...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 57,096 - Reviews: 648 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 325 - Updated: 8/18/2007 - Published: 2/22/2007 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Harry Potter and the Evil Summer Vacation by Meteoricshipyards reviews
Harry's summer vacation isn't exactly as the Dursley's planned. There are a few repercussions
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,322 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 1,126 - Follows: 241 - Published: 6/26/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
When Life Gives You Lemons by StringynKel reviews
Weatherby Swann overhears a rather... interesting conversation between young James and Cutler.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 841 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/22/2007 - Cutler B., James N. - Complete
The Pirates by PirateBlacksmith reviews
Jack, Will, Elizabeth, Anamaria, Gibbs, Norrington, and Bootstrap Bill end up as roomates in the year 2003. Can they survive each other?
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 106,516 - Reviews: 989 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 3/10/2007 - Published: 8/17/2004
Once Bitten by bobmcbobbob1 reviews
Erik walks alone in a cemetery, caught in his own thoughts of the lost Christine when a strange visitor gives him a unique oppertunity. Erik is no longer surrounded by blood. He thrives on it. EC. Sink your teeth in
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 82,156 - Reviews: 553 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 12/7/2006 - Published: 4/8/2005 - Complete
Identity Crisis by Sheep the Adventurer reviews
One arrogant, self assured Goblin King, add a sudden Identity Crisis and a stressed out Sarah...It could be a recipe for disaster.
Labyrinth - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 23,613 - Reviews: 252 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 11/13/2006 - Published: 7/22/2005
Champion of Dreams by PetiteCafe reviews
Sarah's back in the Underground, and must run the Labyrinth once again. This time, however, the prize is Jareth's freedom...and perhaps, something more.
Labyrinth - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,085 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 9/26/2006 - Published: 6/7/2006
I TOLD You to Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around by crazyroninchic reviews
Another day, another ridiculous Sue to scar the canon characters for life with…no, I’m not laughing evilly, why do you ask? Sequel to “Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around.”
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,712 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 8/12/2006 - Published: 4/10/2006 - Complete
All Cats Are Grey In The Dark by ladyFrost2 reviews
Gotham's full of waifs and strays. Sometimes a few of them end up in the same place at the same time.
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,845 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/5/2006 - Complete
Sentenced by NoelleLaBelle reviews
One small mistake ruined it all. It destroyed months of training, years of planning. Is it really possible for one person be healed after so much pain and torment? After being imprisoned?
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,807 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/14/2006 - Published: 2/6/2006 - Erik, Christine
Paint By Numbers by Wheezy1 reviews
Dark Harry. The war is over, the UK in shambles, as is Harry’s life. It’s time for vengeance against the people who started all his misery. Rated T for violence and torture. No sex, no romance, no language, no slash. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,477 - Reviews: 298 - Favs: 545 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 5/12/2006 - Published: 5/9/2006 - Harry P., Vernon D. - Complete
Starr Struck by crazyroninchic reviews
Sequel to 'Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around'. A daughter of Starr makes it her mission to find a way to bring MiddleEarth out from under her mother’s spell and back to normal.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 24,794 - Reviews: 562 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 1/14/2006 - Published: 8/15/2005 - Complete
The True Meaning of Sacrifice by Lilithen reviews
2005 Moviebased, gapfiller. Tumnus rushed right into battle armed with only fists and courage. Suppose he didn't quite escape unscathed... A TumnusLucy friendship fic, hc, angst.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,312 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/6/2006 - Published: 12/25/2005 - Complete
Bleak Bonds by Fritz Will Get You reviews
My take on Tumnus's thoughts while he was in the White Witch's icy prison during the movie. Most likely a one shot.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,839 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/13/2005 - Complete
Gollum's Guide to Insanity by Mutant Goldfish reviews
What really happened when Aragorn had caught Gollum and was taking him to Mirkwood? Short, insane and out of charater. You've been warned. R&R!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 912 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/25/2005 - Published: 9/19/2005 - Aragorn, Gollum - Complete
Pitch by Acsid reviews
Based off of The BranaughFishburne movie version of Othello and a hell based on Dante's Inferno. Iago is walking. It had taken years to get free of the ice, but now he is searching...
Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 573 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/9/2005 - Complete
Thirty by Lanoire reviews
Bossuet and Grantaire dread turning thirty, Courfeyrac, Jehan and Combeferre dread University finals. The REAL reason they decided to build a barricade.
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,852 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Published: 8/17/2005 - Bahorel
How Harry Almost Became An Auror by polykleitos reviews
[Gen] The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy. I thought everyone knew that. They're working from within to bring down the Ministry of Magic using a combination of Dark Magic and gum disease. [Luna Lovegood, HBP]
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,115 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/14/2005 - Complete
If You Had To by shadowgirlVG reviews
Artemis can't sleep one night and decides to watch some television to clear his head. After an episode of ScoobyDoo he has a very interesting dream...
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,833 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Published: 8/6/2005 - Complete
Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around by crazyroninchic reviews
Several members of the Fellowship come across a Marysue Legomance. Chaos ensues…A bit of light humor and MS satire. If for nothing else, read to imagine the looks on Leggie’s face…COMPLETED
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 49,741 - Reviews: 2141 - Favs: 786 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 8/3/2005 - Published: 1/22/2005 - Complete
The Tie That Binds by The Lark reviews
Raoul and Erik accidentally get handcuffed together. Will they learn to get along, or just gnaw their arms off?
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,929 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/3/2005 - Published: 6/19/2005
A Defensive Situation by Kat097 reviews
When Raoul and Christine set out to destroy the evil of phanfiction, they enlist the help of Erik. Needless to say, things don't quite go to plan. Especially when Erik and Raoul discover the joys of phanfiction and inevitable wackiness ensues.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,582 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/27/2005 - Published: 4/4/2005 - Christine, Erik - Complete
Broken Promises by Takada Saiko reviews
Once again, part of my series. Jack and Norrinton have had a long standing truce that is suddenly broken by the appearance of a certain Admiral Cromwell's entry onto the scene. Will Norrinton keep his end of their deal or will Jack hang for his trust in t
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,195 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/7/2005 - Published: 10/2/2004
The Talk by JenValjean24601 reviews
Courfeyrac gives the sex talk to a very confused Marius.
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,659 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/9/2005 - Marius - Complete
Whipping Boys by The escARGOT warriors reviews
Les Amis find a strange object in the back room of the Musain...
Les Miserables - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,639 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/7/2004
A Taste of Misery by EstelWolfe reviews
Captain Jack Sparrow returns to Port Royal, destined for the gallows for a crime that he honestly didn't commit.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 25 - Words: 29,714 - Reviews: 461 - Favs: 264 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/4/2003 - Published: 7/26/2003 - Complete
The Wolverine Hunter by WolvieGal reviews
you've heard of the crocodile hunter? the nature show where steve irwin hunts and studies the lifestyles of dangerous animals, well what happens when jubilee tries to hunt wolverine the same way? courtesy of Netlady and the wolverine and jubilee storyboar
X-Men - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,585 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/18/2001
Would You Hire This Guy? by Tara1 reviews
Logan needs to find work and fast
X-Men - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,730 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 17 - Updated: 2/1/2001 - Published: 1/30/2001
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Handcuffs reviews
"I pickpocket him when he gets annoying." Lestrade is sick of Sherlock constantly walking off with his ID...and his badge...and his handcuffs...and decides the best revenge might just be a subtle one. Established Johnlock and Mystrade, non-graphic
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 684 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/21/2014 - [DI Lestrade, Mycroft H.] [Sherlock H., John W.]
Watson, Someone Stole Our Tent!
It was supposed to be a vacation. Relaxing. Reinvigorating. Riiiiiiiiight. Because with Sherlock around, nothing is ever that simple. And now, hiding in a forest with no supplies, no tent, and a murderous gang of jewel thieves after them, the world's only consulting detective decides he finally wants to learn about the stars. Who is John to say no?
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,876 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/20/2014
Life for Me reviews
"John," the detective asks abruptly, "have you ever thought of being a pirate?" And of course once Sherlock gets an idea in his head, there's no stopping him. One-shot, ranging from silly to light angst, and fluffy as a bunny.
Sherlock - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,893 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/19/2014 - Sherlock H., John W., Molly Hooper
Complete Me reviews
Batman and Joker are something more than enemies, but as both wrestle with the reality and consequences of their decision, they have to wonder: how long can it last? Especially when fed-up exes get involved… Joker/Batman slash, non-graphic. T for swearing
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 120,126 - Reviews: 576 - Favs: 350 - Follows: 345 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Joker, Bruce W./Batman
Rooftop Philosophy reviews
All stories in Gotham begin on the rooftops, where Batman and the Joker find themselves soon after his escape from Arkham. The Joker makes an offer. Batman makes a choice. Post TDK. Reposted.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,363 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/4/2009 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Joker, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Connection reviews
Hamlet. The very act of writing a letter, of putting words to paper, is dangerous in a country where even the walls have ears. Some people are willing to take the risk. A collection of oneshots, written as letters between the characters.
Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 744 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 4/19/2009 - Published: 3/20/2009
Caused & Cured reviews
Joker knew how he got his scars. The truth changed with the circumstances; it wasn’t his fault if the Arkham doctors didn’t see it that way. But now they'd cured him, whether he wanted them to or not. After all - change the face, change the man. Oneshot
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,115 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Joker - Complete
In the Face of the Storm reviews
Poetic ponderings on why everyone's favorite killer clown has such a frenzied following of fanatical females.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 322 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 29 - Updated: 12/9/2008 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Joker - Complete
Albino Back Sheep reviews
Sirius muses on his role as the black sheep of the Black family. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 234 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/10/2008 - Sirius B. - Complete
Promises reviews
Riley's upset. Ben forgot a certain promise he made, regarding who decides what happens to the next find... Oneshot, written because I never could ignore an injustice when I saw it.
National Treasure - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 344 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/28/2008 - Riley P., Ben G. - Complete
Memory reviews
Sirius, his first night after escaping Azkaban, stops for a moment and finds something he's lost. Songfic, oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 870 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Sirius B. - Complete
Erika's Phantom reviews
Christine's great granddaughter visits her grandmother and hears the story of her past. My take on what happens to the characters after the movie is over. Oneshot
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,528 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/29/2008 - Published: 12/23/2005 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Wizard of Oz reviews
When Hermione wakes up in House Elf Land, one thing is certain: she's not in Hogwarts any more!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,926 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 8/25/2008 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
To Remind Me reviews
Nothing touched by fairy magic is ever the same again, be it acorn or teen, and now there's an oak growing in Artemis's cellar. He has to decide whether to embrace his past decisions, along with all his mistakes, or to hide them and try to forget. Oneshot
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 864 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/7/2008 - Artemis F. - Complete
The Kindness of Fate reviews
..."Even when he sneaks out at night it is only to look at the stars." Grima reflects on beauty, Eowyn, and what might have been, but for the kindness of fate. Oneshot, book based, continues up until his death.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,439 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Published: 9/7/2007 - Grima W., Saruman - Complete
Fanfiction Trouble reviews
When badly written Mary Sue stories invade Grimmauld Place, will canon survive the encounter? Read if only to imagine their faces! ON HIATUS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,156 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 6/24/2007
No One Lives Forever reviews
“You’re back,” he whispered. She nodded, and he sighed. “Who is it?” The answer, when it came, was not entirely unexpected. “You,” Death said quietly. HP Sandman crossover. Sirius talks with Death one last time. Oneshot, not SBOC
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 438 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 6/29/2007 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Thanks, I Guess reviews
Fang apologizes to someone he never thought he'd have to. Oneshot, drabble.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 265 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Complete
Dreaming reviews
A child reflects on the rally, and remembers someone he thought he knew. Drabble, oneshot, Aribased.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 305 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/13/2007 - Complete
I've Made My Choice reviews
Oneshot, post AWE. The world is shrinking, the legends dying. Elizabeth has one last choice to make.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 993 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/30/2007 - Complete
My Dear, a Little Frog! reviews
Telling the adventures of Earl, the adventurous frog, and how he got his revenge on the Duke for attempting to stomp on him. Originally a oneshot, now back by popular demand!
Moulin Rouge - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,011 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 4/16/2006 - Published: 1/2/2006 - Green Fairy - Complete
Box of Tricks reviews
What happens when one little fish finds M's box of chemicals?
LXG - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 131 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/2/2006
And What Do You Do? reviews
Poor Tom runs into a bit of trouble concerning his occupation... rated for swearing
LXG - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 330 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/23/2005 - Complete
In Flitwick's Office reviews
My take on Sirius's thoughts when he was locked in Flitwick's office. PoA based.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,922 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/23/2005 - Sirius B., Harry P. - Complete