RumpelstiltskinWantsMySanity
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Joined 07-31-17, id: 9539874, Profile Updated: 06-30-19
Author has written 4 stories for Mortal Instruments.

Why eat beef when you can ass? Hello, I'm Hopelessly in Love With Jace Herondale and Clary Morgenstern, and so are you.

What do you when you can't sleep and you've seriously got to wake up in four hours?
~ Thank you for asking; this is a very dear question to me. I put on the depressing playlist I made in 2012 (because, don't lie, that was the emo age) and listen until I'm sick of it. After seven and a half years of adding to it, it's now five hours long. You wish you were on my level, don't lie.

What do you do in your free time?
~ YouTube lmao. Or I'm writing clace and crying about Jonathan Morgenstern and CoHF and CoG. I'm up for talking about them any time during the 20 hours of the day that I'm awake. Ambush me during my finals and I will gladly drop my education to fangirl about The Mortal Instruments. I just wish I was artistically skilled enough to draw them, sigh

My Instagram is FarquaadWantsMySanity and I'm way too active on it, so drop by if you'd like :)

-~0~-

I'm absolutely in love with:

~The Mortal Instruments
~An Ember in the Ashes
~A Court of Thorns and Roses
~Coldplay
~The Legend of Zelda

-~0~-

And finally, there is a line between constructive criticism and hate. Please don't cross it. I'm fragile.

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The Silent Kingdom by Freedan the Eternal reviews
One year after the death of Ganondorf, Link finds everything he cares for torn from him once again. In the company of Midna and Princess Zelda, he must travel to a faraway land to find an ancient magic power to save not only Hyrule, but the world...
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 154 - Words: 1,099,627 - Reviews: 1925 - Favs: 1,681 - Follows: 1,267 - Updated: 7/26/2019 - Published: 1/30/2007 - Link, Midna - Complete
Stay With Me by SereneCalamity reviews
Jace had loved his wife since he had first met her. He still loved her, even if they weren't as close as they once were. He couldn't believe he was letting her slip right through his fingers. Clace.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 55,916 - Reviews: 500 - Favs: 344 - Follows: 341 - Updated: 1/30/2019 - Published: 1/23/2017 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
Sunshine by ThatOneGoodWriter reviews
She finds him sobbing on the side of a roaring highway. The rest is history. Clace. One-shot.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,757 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 15 - Published: 9/8/2018 - Clary F., Jace W.
Ithildin by Calmer of the Storm reviews
Post Inheritance. Some new Riders show up to the lands beyond Alagaësia, and Eragon gets more than he bargained for. Training is halted by the arrival of a mysterious evil, and as it all unravels it becomes clear that what they face is far more ancient than even the elves recall. When the fate of all they have worked for is threatened, how can they fight a foe they cannot even see?
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 54,721 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 8/10/2018 - Published: 11/17/2011 - Eragon S., Arya, Saphira, OC
Cinema Tonight by SoraMcMullins reviews
One rainy day, Clary meets the man of everyone's dreams. What begins as an improbable friendship soon becomes something far deeper. Each chapter, told in two parts, offers a look into their past and explores their present. AU, AH and definitely rated M. Of course, while the ideas are mine the characters are not.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 237,571 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 4/2/2018 - Published: 6/24/2014 - Clary F., Jace W.
Creaky Wood Floors and Back Doors by HidingBehindMyWords reviews
Clary is home from college for Winter break and is chafing at being back under her parents roof with their strict rules. She decides to sneak out to a party to have some fun. She didn't count on her brother's best friend catching her in the act. AU/AH One-Shot (Clace)
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,153 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 29 - Published: 1/22/2018 - Complete
Words Unformed by SereneCalamity reviews
Jace had never been the best at putting his feelings into words. Clace. Oneshot.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,557 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 22 - Published: 1/17/2018 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
Lost In The Heat Of It All by SereneCalamity reviews
Clary and Maia are barely paying any attention to the celebration happening downstairs. Claia. Oneshot.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,068 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/13/2018 - Clary F., Maia - Complete
A Wonderful Start by BennieWaffles reviews
New Year's Eve, an occasional meeting, undeniable passion. Clace. OOC. AU. AH. Rated Kplus. One-shot.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,303 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 23 - Published: 1/1/2018 - [Clary F., Jace W.] - Complete
Never Myself a Believer (You're My Sunshine) by LukePoiz reviews
Simon would never have called himself a believer, However, as Jace woke up next him this morning he found himself thanking God -or however deity- was watching over him. Or, In where Simon is Jace life's sunshine even if that sounds totally and completely ironic and Jace is more than happy to let Simon know that..
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 535 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/17/2017 - [Jace W., Simon L.] - Complete
Don't Look Back by unscenced reviews
Jace wasn't looking forward to flying to England and meeting his girlfriends parents. He wasn't that sort of guy; it was something he liked to avoid, and for good reason. It was awkward and uncomfortable. What he wasn't expecting though was his girlfriends feisty step-sister. This would be a trip to remember. TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of suicide and rape (nothing graphic).
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 42,526 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 153 - Updated: 10/5/2017 - Published: 9/8/2013 - Clary F., Jace W.
Promise Me by captnswilson reviews
Nine years after Alec's death, Magnus, with the help of Tessa, moves back in time to see Alec one last time.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,318 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/30/2017 - [Magnus B., Alec L.] Tessa G. - Complete
Fire and Gold by SereneCalamity reviews
They weren't looking for any further entanglements. But they just kept on bumping into each other. Clace.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 70,775 - Reviews: 571 - Favs: 310 - Follows: 377 - Updated: 3/5/2017 - Published: 11/4/2015 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
Twisted by WildHeart22 reviews
Clarissa Morgenstern has been in a verbally-and occasionally physically-abusive relationship with her boyfriend, Sebastian Verlac, for over six months now. She's convinced that he is the way he is because he wants her to be better. As long as he loves her, it's alright. Right? But when the Lightwoods move into Clary's school, what happens when Jace is too smart to fall for the act?
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 221,748 - Reviews: 1543 - Favs: 724 - Follows: 901 - Updated: 12/31/2016 - Published: 6/27/2014
Protecting Jace by Paradoxing reviews
Clary is a 16 year old Agent that has just graduated from The Academy. Her first task: The Herondales. Someone's after them and it's Clary's job to keep them safe. The task seems simple enough, it's what she was trained to do. But what will happen when she meets their arrogant son, Jace? It's kind of hard to protect someone you want nothing more than to kill yourself. More inside.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 367,524 - Reviews: 1885 - Favs: 826 - Follows: 730 - Updated: 12/17/2016 - Published: 11/8/2015 - Clary F., Isabelle L., Jace W., Kyle/Jordan K. - Complete
Fake It Til You Make It by AshTMI17 reviews
Clary is desperate. Desperate times (and obnoxious parents) call for desperate measures. Enter Jace Herondale. If they can pull this off, Clary will jump for joy. But what if fantasy becomes reality?
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,156 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 212 - Updated: 4/28/2016 - Published: 7/10/2015 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
A World Reversed by reader-chic-2 reviews
In a world where the minority is heterosexuality, Clary finds herself questioning her sexual identity. She was a messed up, secretive girl living with her dads and brother. She was in her junior year of high school when it happened. A month later, a new family moves in down the block with a heterosexual boy and parents. Everything changed when she met that golden angel. AU. AH
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 17 - Words: 72,261 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 4/12/2016 - Published: 2/1/2016 - [Jace W., Clary F.] - Complete
Half Truths by purrina57 reviews
"His face is right in front of mine, his breath warm and delicious against my lips as he says, "'I can handle you.'" I simply duck under his arm and say, "'We shall see.'" Clary is trained for this, to be the perfect woman, and maybe the perfect wife. It's her job, what she was born into and what she has been raised to do. But CAN she do it? Futuristic Clary/Jace.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 76 - Words: 178,685 - Reviews: 2732 - Favs: 1,372 - Follows: 1,564 - Updated: 6/6/2015 - Published: 9/14/2013 - Clary F., Jace W.
Counteracting Fate by beta-author reviews
RATED M. Clary's heart and her mind are at a constant stalemate. Unable to realize that doing the right thing and following her heart may in fact be one in the same, Clary has repeatedly worked against fate and wedged herself into a tangle of lies and misfortune. Unbeknownst to her, she's not the only one inadvertently counteracting fate. Romantic/Drama. AU. Human.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 255,617 - Reviews: 780 - Favs: 346 - Follows: 430 - Updated: 10/27/2014 - Published: 11/15/2013 - Clary F., Jace W.
Eternity by DarkenedStar reviews
-COMPLETE- His eyes seemed to swirl from hard metal into a pool of molten, golden magma. "Sometimes there is only one solution," he said huskily, and what composure Kaoru had left diminished entirely. He was no longer talking about killing, and Kaoru was sick to think of what his words actually meant. He was finally claiming her, and she knew that it was far too late to escape him.
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 110,912 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 509 - Follows: 371 - Updated: 9/29/2014 - Published: 9/12/2011 - Kaoru, Battousai - Complete
Frozen Moonlight by JaneDrew reviews
In high school, Kaoru Kamiya escaped from a demon. Five years later, she meets a man who looks awfully familiar...
Rurouni Kenshin - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 237,388 - Reviews: 2828 - Favs: 1,667 - Follows: 1,156 - Updated: 4/4/2014 - Published: 2/3/2005
The Nine Consequences of One Night and a Door by ddpjclaf reviews
The teenaged daughter and son of sworn rivals meet with a bang one drunken night against the bathroom door. Now everyone must come to terms with the 9 consequences of one night, a girl, a boy, and a door. OOC AH/AU Lemonade. Vulgar language. Mature.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 340,066 - Reviews: 3813 - Favs: 2,890 - Follows: 2,421 - Updated: 2/11/2014 - Published: 11/15/2011 - Jace W., Clary F. - Complete
When the Cats Are Away by LaidBackandLowKey23 reviews
Jocelyn and the other adult shadowhunters are tending to clave business in Idris leaving Jace and Clary alone for the night. Pretty much one big lemon- enjoy!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,759 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 384 - Follows: 105 - Published: 12/9/2012 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
Don't Cry by Livybug reviews
After Clary finds out the man she loves died in Afganistan, she has to learn to cope with just her memories. But is he really gone forever? R&R Plz!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 88,056 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 440 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 11/13/2012 - Published: 4/5/2012 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
Not If You Paid Me by Blue Lily96 reviews
Jace Wayland is in love with Isabelle Lightwood. Clary Fray is in love with Simon Lewis. What happens when Jace comes up with a plan to get the girl of his dreams? Chaos, that's what! R&R. Hope you enjoy. T because I'm paranoid
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 36,387 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 364 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 9/24/2011 - Published: 7/12/2011 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
Covert Casanova by ddpjclaf reviews
She's the artsy, outcast daughter of a rich, crooked lawyer. He's the self-absorbed undercover agent assigned to do whatever it takes to get the goods on daddy-even if that means making a play for his feisty daughter. AU/AH/OOC Fluffy. Lemonade.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 239,836 - Reviews: 2813 - Favs: 3,219 - Follows: 1,416 - Updated: 6/3/2011 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Jace W., Clary F. - Complete
Alone On the Water by MadLori reviews
Sherlock is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Warning: angst like whoa.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,210 - Reviews: 5594 - Favs: 12,952 - Follows: 1,733 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Jace Wayland: The Owner's Guide by lunareclipse3 reviews
As you are now the proud owner of a JACE unit, these are the instructions on having it reach its full potential!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,072 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 20 - Published: 8/8/2010 - Jace W. - Complete
Legend of Zelda: The Return by Rose Zemlya reviews
Takes place after OoT with the assumption that Link lost all of his memories of the events in the game when Zelda sent him back in time. COMPLETE
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 42 - Words: 232,633 - Reviews: 1600 - Favs: 2,421 - Follows: 564 - Updated: 10/31/2003 - Published: 7/7/2001 - Link, Zelda - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Floating on a Tidal Wave reviews
Jace Herondale was everything Clary had ever wanted, but couldn't quite have. That is, until, they find a workaround. The "friends with benefits" thing was always something like a fantasy to Clary, and it was perfect, because Jace was best at making fantasies come true. This would be fun. {OOC/AU/AH/Rated M}
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,737 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 8/30/2019 - Published: 12/4/2018 - Clary F., Jace W.
Wings Wouldn't Help You Down reviews
Escaping was the first step, the hardest, but it was the most worth it. When Clary's greatest enemy becomes her only savior, she's thrown into a life she never knew she wanted. A life of freedom. But, as she's being hunted down, and her life shatters before her, she's got no choice but to seek comfort in all that Jonathan Wayland can offer. {Lemons/Language/AU}
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,485 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/20/2019 - Published: 5/26/2019 - Clary F., Jace W.
Smoke and Mirrors reviews
"His eyes are chains of gold, icy and unforgiving against my body. He sits like my kingdom is already his, as if he doesn't need to marry me in order to reign it." She's the heir with a sinister secret, and he's the key to unraveling it all. If she lets him become the fire that warms her, how far until she gets burned? {Smut/OOC/AU}
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 508 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/13/2019
Lost Stars reviews
Born to families who despise one another, Jace and Clary are at first, unsure of what to make of their friendship. But once the thin line of love is tenderly crossed, havoc strikes their world. As the wretched tragedies of war and family dispute barges into their lives, the things they sacrifice for each other haunt them as they escape into a bloodstained world of danger. 1800's AU
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,316 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 5/16/2018 - Published: 12/29/2017 - Clary F., Jace W., Jonathon M./Sebastian V.