Author has written 29 stories for Chobits, Family Guy, Animaniacs, Little Mermaid, Splatoon, Wonder Woman, Moana, Wonder Woman, and Battle Royale.
BEFORE YOU READ THIS PROFILE, A QUICK WORD,
As of 2021, I've realized I haven't been down to write fanfiction since my mid to late 20s. Most of the projects i've had have been in limbo for years and I lack the motivation to finish them. So as of November 2021, I'm declaring this fanfiction page dormant.
To those who have read my content for the past 15 years & 10 months, I want to thank you for being an audience. You gals & pals are super. I began this profile as a 15 year old boy with no social skills or no real direction. Fanfiction was my byproduct of dealing with Asperger's syndrome and now it's a piece of my past. I have moved onto other hobbies now.
To all of those who still write fanfiction, then unleash your imagination. It's a beautiful thing.
-Phil from Produce
Full Name: Phillip Adrian Mante
Date of Birth: June 19th, 1990.
Ancestry: Russian, Dutch, France, German, Canadian
Weight: 200 lbs
Natural Hair Color: Brown
Natural Hair Type: Curly
Year first wrote Fanfiction: 1997
Date of signup: January 2nd, 2006
Confirmed Criminal Activities:
-Vandalism (July 3rd, 2003)
-Public Disturbance (July 3rd, 2003)
(Released to Parent/Guardian. Charges not laid.)
COMPUTERS & VIDEO GAME CONSOLES
Active Email: [email protected] (April 20th, 2005 - Present)
Nintendo Network ID:
-SlappySquirrel (January 28th, 2014 - Present)
Xbox Live Gamertag(s):
-Riven777 (December 9th, 2010 - June 4th, 2014)
-SlappySquirrelX (June 4th, 2014 - 2016)
4kids Name: Super_sonic_is_cool (August 31st, 2005 - ?/?/2007)
Playstation gamertag: Fighting_Triton (2018 - Present)
School District 33 ID Number: 78123 (September 4th, 2001 - June 19th, 2008)
Valley Christian School (September 1995 - June 2001)
Unsworth Elementary (September 2001 - June 2002)
Mount Slesse Middle School (September 2002 - June 2005)
Sardis Secondary (September 2005 - June 2008)
Young Drivers of Canada (September 2009 - November 2009)
EMPLOYMENT & PROFESSIONS
(November 2007 - June 2008)
The Real Canadian Superstore
(September 15th, 2008 - Present)
(April 2012 - June 2012)
Well, now that you've gotten through all this useless information, let me tell you a little about myself.
I used to write a helluva lot of fanfiction in the past. I began this page at the age of 15, just after 2006 began. it's been part of half my lifetime so far. You MIGHT get a fresh story out of me but it'll be a stretch. I sporadically check up on this page so don't be scared to send me a message, it just might be a couple months before i get back to ya.
If I read your story and give you a positive review, That means I like your story and I think it's good. If I give a mixed review, that means I liked your story but there was some stuff that needed improvement and possibly didn't fit the style of whatever you were writing about. And I'm not going to apologize for what i'm about to write, but if I don't like your story and I think it's crap, I'm going to flat out tell you that I think your story blows. If you think my story sucks, feel free to tell me.
PHIL'S PERSONAL RULES OF WRITING FANFICTION
1. The Story must have a Title, Summary, Rating, and Disclaimer. No exceptions.
2. Try to stay as close as you can to the original story, location, etc.
3. The Characters should be IC (In Character) as close as possible.
4. None of the main characters are allowed to be killed off, unless they are to be resurrected later. This does not apply to the author's created characters. Also known as the Star wars fiction rule*
NOTE: George Lucas told anyone who wrote Star Wars fiction and had it legitimately published that none of the original trilogy's characters were to be killed off.
5. Serious crimes against a child character (Rape, Murder, Mutilation, Torture) Animated or real, Anamorphic or human, original or from the fiction, is entirely off limits. No exceptions.
6. First person OC (Original character) Mary sues cannot be perfect or close to perfect. A good mary sue has one good trait, and the other characters have to build around that.
7. Romantic Pairings should always be between the fiction's characters and not an original self-insertion of the author with the character that author has a crush on. If you want to make out with a Disney character, Dress your boyfriend/Girlfriend up as one and kiss him/Her, or go to Disneyland.
8. Don't be scared to criticise someone else's story if you think it sucks.
9. Don't be scared to praise someone else's story if you think it's awesome.
10. Always write fanfiction with creativity and imagination over personal fantasy.
11. Don't be a plagiarist. Taking ideas is ok, but direct plagiarism (Stealing a show's scripts and posting them as your own story just to get likes) is uncreative, and destroys the joy of being imaginative.
PHIL'S PERSONAL RULES OF PM'ing
1. Respect is key. I am here to help you and tell you what I believe is right and what I believe is wrong.
2. When you are talking to me, and you send me a message that I cannot reply to because you have blocked replying, you are showing me that you are a coward.
3. You acknowledge that when you send PMs to me, your opinions might be criticised but not insulted. If you are insulted, that's your problem.
4. Copying only parts of what I've said and parts of what you've said in PMs to other users is dirty politics. I do not respect it nor do I condone it. Either post the whole message or not.
5. Always write and read carefully what you are about to send - Read the Ambrose Bierce quote on my profile to know why.
LIKES (General Stuff)
-Metal (Metal Mulisha, Bitches!!!)
-Early 90's rap music
-Late 70's Early 80's Funk/Electronica/Disco music
-Video game music composers (Beethoven can suck Michiru Yamane's pussy)
-Chrono Trigger (Best RPG ever made, Hands down)
-Minecraft (It's like legos, only you get many, many pieces.)
BEST PEOPLE EVER
-My Mom (For not aborting me, during and LONG after pregnancy.)
-Rob Paulsen (For being the best voice actor Ever)
-Tress MacNeille (For being the best voice actress ever)
-Tom Ruegger (For creating Animaniacs & Tiny Toon Adventures)
-Sherri Stoner (For Writing & Producing Animaniacs & Tiny Toon Adventures, and being one of the funniest women in the world.)
-Sylvester Stallone (For being Rocky, Rambo, and a man every man should want to be)
-The whole Jackass Crew (For making us laugh)
-Slayer (For making the greatest metal band ever.)
-Sgt. John Burk (For being a man for my generation to look up to.)
MY BIGGEST CELEBRITY CRUSHES EVER
-Vanna White (First crush ever - Totally convinced me at age 3 that she was Barbie in the flesh.)
-Keri Russell (Second Crush - Saw her in the pink bikini in Honey I blew up the kid...so, first bikini ever.)
-Dolly Parton (Oh, Dolly.)
-Julia Nickson (Asian class'n beauty)
-Sofia Vergara (Perfect smile, Perfect hair, Perfect tits, perfect ass. And don't get me started on that sexy Columbian accent. She melts me every time.)
-Lynda Carter (Bouncy, Jiggly, Juicy, plump Wonder Woman)
-Stacy Keibler (If London bridge ever fell down, those legs could hold it up.)
-Halle Berry (Sexy Ebony)
-Raven Symone (Sexy Ebony too)
-Joanie "Chyna" Laurier (Sexy Amazon)
-Sophia Loren (Why young men dig for gold.)
-Carole Vorderman (You're a naughty lady, you need a spankin' until my hand falls off.)
-Leigh Zimmerman (That dressed up blonde honey from Home alone 2 who kevin pinched the ass on.)
-Dawn Wells (Mary-ann all the way!)
-Claire Newell (Travel best bets lady from Global news. Total MILF.)
-Ashley Graham (Overweight but in all the right places)
-Brooke Burns (Baywatch Babe, And super sinewy slim hostess of the Chase)
-Andie McDowell (Those eyes and raven hair)
-Alexandra Paul (Another Baywatch babe who could make short hair sexy)
TOTALLY HATES (General Stuff)
- Organised Religion
- The Hunger Games
- People who bitch about things they don't even care about.
- people who try to change things about a place they'll never go.
- The P.T.C.
- The P.E.T.A.
BEST MUSICAL COMPOSITIONS OF ALL TIME
1 - Dancing Mad from Final Fantasy VI (1994) - Nubuo Uematsu
2 - Luke & Leia from Return of the Jedi (1983) - John Williams
3 - Overworld theme from Super Mario Bros (1985) - Koji Kondo
4 - Secret of the Forest from Chrono Trigger (1995) - Yasunori Mitsuda
5 - Gift of the Wind from Detana! Twinbee! (1991) - Michiru Yamane
6 - Mermaids from Pirates of the Caribbean; On stranger tides (2011) - Hans Zimmerman
7 - Fury Drives into Camp from Fury (2014) - Steven Price
8 - Duel of the Fates from The Phantom Menace (1999) - John Williams
9 - Giygas from Earthbound/Mother 2 (1995) - Keiichi Suzuki
10 - Eight-legged Advance from Splatoon (2015) - Toru Minegishi
11 - Jeopardy Theme (1984) - Merv Griffin
12 - Interlude (1983) - Larry Owens
13 - Guardians Inferno (2017) - The Sneepers
14 - Golden Forest Theme (1998) - Nintendo
15 - Terminator Theme (1984) - Brad Fiedel
PHIL'S FAVORITE MOVIES, RANKED
BEST movie of all time - Battle Royale (2000)
Runner up - The Breakfast Club (1985)
The Great Escape (1964)
Reform School Girls (1986)
American History X (1998)
Oh God! (1977)
The Dirty Dozen (1967)
Sesame Street Presents; Follow that bird (1985)
Carlito's Way (1993)
Django Unchained (2012)
Strange Brew (1983)
The Little Mermaid (1989)
The Karate Kid (1984)
Die Hard (1988)
Best Country Ever; Japan
Best beer ever; Budweiser
Best FF genre ever; Humor
Best Xbox 360 game ever: Dead Rising 2
Best PS4 Game ever - Grand Theft Auto V
Best N64 Game Ever: Super Smash Bros
Best SNES Single player game ever: Chrono Trigger
Best SNES multiplayer game ever: Super Mario Kart
Best Sega Genesis game ever: Shining Force II
Best Playstation game ever; Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Best NES game ever; Monopoly (Seriously, the NES version of Monopoly is awesome.)
Best Gamecube Game Ever; WWE Day of Reckoning II OR Resident Evil 4
Best PlayStation 2 game ever; Timesplitters; Future Perfect
Best Xbox Game ever; Halo 2
Best Snack Ever: Bag o' Chips
Best Gameshow ever: Jeopardy!
Best TV show ever: Trailer Park Boys
Best foreign TV show ever: Gaki no Tsukai ya aharende!
Best Restaurant ever: White Spot
Best Disney Princess ever: Ariel
Best Disney Villain ever: Gaston
Best reason to be an alcoholic: Beer tastes good
Best car ever: Chevrolet Camaro
Best Truck Ever; Chevrolet K5 Blazer
Best NHL team ever: Vancouver Canucks
Best article of clothing ever: Bikini bottoms with no bikini top
Best body part ever: Female titties
Best reason to be a man: You don't get periods
ANOTHER best reason to be a man; You can jack off
Best MMA Fighter ever: Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell
Best FPS ever: Perfect Dark
Best Strategy game ever: Age of Empires
Best Sidescroller ever; Donkey Kong Country
Best RPG ever: Chrono Trigger
ANOTHER best RPG ever: Earthbound
YET ANOTHER Best RPG ever; Shining Force II
OK, JUST ONE MORE Best RPG ever; Pokemon
Hottest Milf ever: Vanna White OR Lynda Carter. Either answer is acceptable.
Hottest Gilf ever - Sophia Loren
Hottest Teenager ever: Keri Russell (Picture her in 1995 or so)
Coolest man ever: John Rambo
The closest we'll ever see to god in the flesh: Fred Rogers & Bob Ross
Best brand of chips ever: Lays
Best food ever: Breaded Chicken Cutlets
Best Superhero Ever: Goku/Kakarot
Best Superheroine Ever: Wonder Woman
Best Villian ever: The Joker
Best Video game character ever; Donkey Kong
Best drug ever: Marijuana
Best ever Marijuana Strain SO far: God's green crack
Best Movie of all time - Battle Royale
(i'll add more later)
Beliefs, Standards and Philosophies
Revised May 29th, 2021
I am a fully fledged atheist.
I was raised by parents who were fooled into believing that there is a god, and as such, i got the same lessons as a child without a chance to believe anything else. My early life was soiled by those religious beliefs and i've spent the last 2 years of my life as of this posting purging the beliefs and redefining what i want to believe.
Therefore, don't expect me to welcome your beliefs.
PHILOSOPHY ON RELIGION
PHILOSOPHY ON POLITICS
"Keep your stick on the ice." - Red Green
"(Receiving Award) Thank you, I don't deserve this, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either." - Jack Benny
"Jack (thompson), we think we speak for everyone in the video game industry when we say; Don't you have anything better to do with your time than to be a self-promoting, attention wanting, video game hating old man? how about stop worrying about the games and start looking at the parents - DOUCHEBAG." - Stuttering Craig
"Going to church doesn't make you a christian like standing in a garage doesn't make you a car." - Anonymous
"Lie only become truth when people believe it." - Keisuke Miyagi
"The one thing in our society that bothers me the most, is how men and women, don't get along no more. That's what bugs me about it. Men and Women just don't get along. I know a lot of women say this all the time, they say 'chivalry is dead' Don't you all feel that way, like men aren't gentlemen anymore? That's right. Chivalry is dead, and women killed it. There's a fundamental difference in the way we're going to see things. We're not going to see eye to eye on this issue, we're just not. Our tests in life are different. A woman's test in life is material. A man's test in life is a woman. Now, by test I mean, that these are things that we desire. Men have nice cars, not cause men like nice cars, no, it's because they know women like nice cars. That's how it goes. Cause men are hunters, and the car is the bait. and the woman comes along and says 'ooh, nice porshe.' 'Gotcha, Bitch!' That's how it is. That's true! come on now, you go to a woman's house, her house be comfortable as shit. Women love comfortable surroundings, so men get comfortable surroundings. let me tell you something, if a man could fuck a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house. But that's not where chivalry got killed, Chivalry got killed by the feminist movement on the magazines, that got women goin' crazy, cause women got too much advice about men from other women. And they don't know what the fuck they're talking about. it's true. I see this shit in the magazines, I don't read em, but I be seein' the cover. I be in the grocery store with some other fellas and they say 'look at this' and it says on the cover '100 ways to please your man' by some lady. get out of here. there ain't no 100 things, that list is 4 things long, just suck his dick, play with his balls, fix him a sandwich and don't talk so much. And then the magazines trick the women, the magazines start pickin' at your self esteem. Every page you turn you start feelin' fatter, and uglier, and you feel like your clothes ain't good enough, and the magazines have you forgettin' how fuckin' beautiful you are, and we all suffer." - Dave Chappelle
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese." - Anonymous
"An archaeologist is the best man a woman can marry. the older she gets, the more interested he gets in her." - Agatha christie
"If you have tried to fail, but succeed, what have you done?" - Anonymous
"We're fighting with MTV in America because they won't play "A tout le monde" and we made a video for it and they say that 'if people watch it they're going to kill themselves.' and i'm thinking to myself that, you made Kurt Cobain the man of the year (1994) and if anything, he left an indullable last message, that the easiest way out is to blow your fucking head off." - Dave Mustaine, 1995
"I'm under no obligation to speak the truth, cause it might hurt your feelings, but the truth is supposed to hurt, thats how you know you don't got it!"- Brad Stine
"The philosophy of the schoolroom in one generation, will be the philosophy of government in the next." - Abraham Lincoln
If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh. - Magus, Chrono trigger
Machines aren't capable of evil. Humans make them that way. -Lucca, Chrono Trigger
"Ayla know about leaving nest! Time pass, grow big, leave nest! Ayla leave nest! Dactyl leave nest too. Marle leave too? Big change! Leave nest! Have baby! Baby grow big! Leave nest too! (to Marle) Sure you ready leave nest? Not too big yet." - Ayla, Chrono trigger
"Just as you touch the energy of every life form you meet, so, too, will their energy strengthen you. Fail to live up to your potential, and you will never win." - Gaspar , Chrono Trigger
“Animals don't hate, and we're supposed to be better than them.” - Elvis Presley
"You know you've made it when they mold you into a plastic doll. But do you know what children do with their barbies? it's kinda scary, actually." - Cate Blanchett
"Growing up with 2 sisters, you either play with yourself or you play barbie with your sisters. I played with myself." - Ricky Williams
"Women are always complaining about men's obsession with breasts. but what if men were totally indifferent to breasts? what would women do then with these things that only serve one or 2 functions in a lifetime, and the rest of the time, just get in the way?" - Jonathan Carroll
"The way I see it is, 200 plus days a year, we're on the road. You got kids, they grow up, you're not there. Your wife, she's sitting at home. What's she doing? Don't know. Your husband, he's sitting at home, what's he doing? don't know. You get home, you been gone, you're tired, you're beat up, You're not done, you're just gettin' started. You gotta be superhusband, you gotta be superwife, you gotta be superdad, you gotta be supermom. it's not an easy life. Careers are short, Careers are fast. I'm not that tough, i'm no tougher than anyone else in our business. But I respect our business. I love our business. I put my life on the line every day for our business, and I gladly do it, and I will continue to do it, until i can do it no longer. You guys are all on the easy track. You have to earn respect in this business, it's not given to you, you earn it. You pay your dues, and right now you guys are a mile ahead of where you should be paying dues. You have the greatest opportunity in the world, and in my opinion to be in the greatest business in the world. Do not fuck it up. Do not throw it away. cause if you do, you piss on every single person that has come before you. every single person that has paid their dues, every single person that has busted their ass, every single old timer that's fairly crippled, that can't stand up, that can't walk, you piss on them. Every single person like Darren Drozdoff (Droz) who's a friend of mine, that sits in a wheelchair, and can't feel a goddamned thing from here (points to his neck) down, you piss on them. You either want this or you don't. If you don't want it, don't waste our fucking time. - Triple H, Lecturing the group from Tough Enough
"It is by doing anything that we become anyone." - Remi Gaillard
"Speak when you are angry, and you will make the greatest speech you will ever regret." - Ambrose Bierce
"We live among men, but we die alone." - John Marston, Red Dead Redemption
"When a woman grabs my braids and says "How cute!" I grab her breast and say "How cute!" She never touches me again!” - Russell Means
"We all gotta accept death, that way we don't have no fear. It gives us the edge." - B.A. Baracus, The A-Team
"Oooh, if you have never been to Alaska, go there while it is still wild. My favorite uncle asked me if I wanted to go there, Uncle Sam. He said if you don't go, you're going to jail. That is how Uncle Sam asks you." - Bob Ross, The Joy of Painting
"There's nothing wrong with talking to trees. It's when they talk back, then you're in trouble." - Bob Ross, the Joy of Painting
"A classy woman is someone who has something to flaunt, but she chooses not to." - Anonymous
"Maybe more men would stand up and be gentleman, if more women would sit down and be ladies." - Anonymous
"Christian Fundamentalists want to be fundamental about everything - Except loving thy neighbor." - Reverend Cornel West
"I've covered wars, ya know." - Frank West, Dead Rising
"The best way to get paid for doing nothing is to actually work for the government." - Red Green
"You met your first man, what like, 15 minutes ago? And you think you have us all figured out? Well, I'm sorry! But not everything a man does is to further a misogynistic agenda! we don't hold open doors or pull out chairs for women because we're trying to keep you down. And I didn't save you cause I thought you were some damsel in distress! I saved you because...I care about you, Diana! And I'm not gonna abandon a friend in need...man or woman." - Steve Trevor, Wonder Woman (2009)
"(On love) It doesn't matter where you work up an appetite, as long as you eat at home." - Adam (My Boss since 2008)
"I can't believe I wanted to die so often when I was young, and I used to think 'I hate living.' now I'm 53, I love living, and I don't want to fucking die. I hate the fact I gotta die now. Living is so interesting." - Mike Tyson
"I'm in a parking lot going into a restaurant in Wisconsin, I was doing a theatre engagement there, And I was going out to dinner, and a man approached me in the parking lot. He said "Can I speak to you for a moment, Mr. Burghoff?" I said sure. He said "I was in the trenches in Korea." and I knew enough about the trenches to know, immediately that this man had been through serious trauma. That was a living hell. He said "When I came back home in 1952, I was changed, and my wife knew I needed to talk about it. And I couldn't bring myself to talk about it." And he said "When your show came on the air, many years later, it was the first time I could reach over, touch her on the arm, and say "See honey? that's the way it was." - Gary Burghoff, remembering his favorite compliment from fans of M*A*S*H
"I was really careful in making monsters faint, rather than die. I think young people playing games have an abnormal concept about dying. They start to lose and they say "I'm dying." It's not right for kids to think about a concept of death that way. They need to treat death with more respect." - Satoshi Tajiri, on why Pokémon faint.
"Why do I lift weights? Because i'd much rather look like a God than a televangelist ever will." - Phil from Produce
"You're not going to get the butt you want by sitting on it." - Anonymous
"If the world does come to an end, or if it limps into the future, decimated by the effects of religion-inspired nuclear terrorism, let's remember what the real problem was. We learned how to precipitate mass death before we got past the neurological disorder of wishing for it." - Bill Maher
"I learned while making "Religulous" that every time you blame religion for most of the worlds misery, Religious people say 'But Bill, the Godless cultures like Hitler's Germany & Stalin's Russia and Mao's China were the worst and they had no religion.' But here's the thing about Nazism, Maoism, and Stalinism. Those were religions. State Religions. They didn't get rid of God because they hated religion, they got rid of God because they hated competition." - Bill Maher
"The Future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves." - John Connor, The Terminator series.
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, Hate...leads to suffering." - Yoda, Star Wars (This might actually be my favorite quote of all time.)
Phil From Produce
1000th Ghost (181)
Chibi Horsewoman (86)