Dags-Calhoun
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Joined 01-05-06, id: 964295, Profile Updated: 03-28-11
Author has written 23 stories for Harry Potter.

HEy there how goes it?I'm Texas Dragon and I do liove in Texas, Corpus Actually. I'm good here and I love HArry Potter and Naruto. (Cedric is fucking hot!)

Quotes

To err is human; to forgive, infrequent.”

-Franklin P. Adams

Meddle ye not in the affairs of dragons,

for thou art crunchy and good with ketchup

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

-no clue

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of

people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move."

-Douglas Adams

Never bite the hand of the person feeding you. They put you in solitary for that one.

-Andrea Garrett

Look, I understand you've experienced
a loss, but this relationship just can't work.

I mean, you're a cat, I'm black
and I'm not going to be hurt again.
I Robot Will Smith

If all else fails...shoot the messenger.

If all else fails... be glad you arn't all else.

Destiny is a Bitch, Fate has multiple personalities, Karma is accident prone and Lady Luck is Destiny's alter ego.

No one's a virgin life screws us all.

It is better to be violent if there is violence in our hearts, than to put on the cloak of none violence to cover impotence. -Mahatma Gandhi

I have several stories and barely any of these are actually serious

NOT FOR CHILDREN !

I must also say to all he fuckers who don't like gay's in any way to please leave now. And if you don't like them and your still sticking around think of it this way: In the time of the Greek and Roman Gods most male gods had male lovers so think about that you homophobic fuckers and I mean fuckers in the worst possible way's imaginable.

Fav Songs

HOW YOU'VE TURNED MY WORLD /
JARETH: / YOU PRECIOUS THING /
JARETH: / YOU STARVE AND NEAR EXHAUST ME /
JARETH: / EVERYTHING I'VE DONE, I'VE DONE FOR YOU /
JARETH: / I MOVE THE STARS FOR NO ONE /
JARETH: / YOU'VE RUN SO LONG /
JARETH: / YOU'VE RUN SO FAR /
JARETH: / YOUR EYES CAN BE SO CRUEL /
JARETH: / JUST AS I CAN BE SO CRUEL /
JARETH: / THOUGH I DO BELIEVE IN YOU /
/ YES, I DO /
JARETH: / LIVE WITHOUT YOUR SUNLIGHT /
JARETH: / LOVE WITHOUT YOUR HEARTBEAT /
JARETH: / I...I CAN'T LIVE WITHIN YOU //

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. (but how do they know...)

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever yelled at/ hit or somehow tried to hurt an inanimate object in a fit of anger, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have any secrets, paste this on your profile.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.

Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Kankuro is a sexy puppet master copy this to your profile and add your name: KankuroFangirl, Dusk-Blood Ninja-Monkey Heart, Dags Calhoun

If you have ever been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing maniacally, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your repeatedly on a table, and received weird looks from everyone in the immediate vicinity, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to put these types of things in your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, bubbleyum, Sakura90873, tomboy14 , DynamicKayos, Dusk-Blood Ninja-Monkey Heart, Dags Calhoun

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Person Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.

Being unique is thinking outside the box, reading between the lines, coloring out of pictures, dancing to the tune of your own drummer, and having a heck of a better time than other people. If you're unique, copy and paste this in your profile.

Paste this in your profile if you're a procrastination addict
If you're fully aware that you're an arrogant bitch and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the purple teli-tubie is related to Michel Jackson post this onto your profile.
If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, whether it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you know SasuNaru won't work because neither are willing to be the uke (but like the idea anyway), copy and paste this to your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have pretended to be someone your not but learned it's better to be you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, copy this into your profile. (Us freaks gotta stick together!)

If you are anti-social sometimes (or quite a bit of the time) and proud, post this into your profile

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost IF you cryed or got teary eyed while reading this copy and paste it to your Prfile

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever ran into a tree while acting out something you've read/ watched recently (or not so recently),copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said "Pull" or vice versa, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pasted anything on your profile, paste this on your profile.

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

If you have ever yelled at and/or slapped an inanimate object from anger, paste this on your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to kill someone (albeit a man in a purple and green dinosaur suit known as 'Barney the Dinosaur', Temari from Naruto, Bill Clinton, Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton or any other fool) then realized murder is illegal then copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree or if you have at least one insane friend copy this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, why aren't two mooses meese? Or if two foots are feet, why arn't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, but I'm just random!(but I'm crazy too)I wanna press the big shiney red button too. If you're random and proud of it, copy this and put it in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know what to call someone. Weird is the same as different which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy and paste this into your profile.

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image. Five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message and my symbol for equality to your profile.

If you listen to and talk back to the voices in your head and find nothing wrong with it because you know they're there, put this in your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

Fashion is dressing like everyone else and being trendy. Style is when you dress like yourself and are unique. If you think fashion is crap and style is what's really important, copy and paste this into your profile.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong

IF you think Homophobia is damn near or actually is the stupidest phobia ever made by idiots, copy and paste this to your profile

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hell Hath No Fury by Sesshomaru's Angel Bride reviews
Wow, is Dumbledor in trouble. He should know better than to mess with an angry girl. Dumbledor bashing, Ron/Hermione bashing if you don't like that sort of thing don't read it. Rated M for future chapters.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 19,377 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 666 - Follows: 797 - Updated: 2/11/2014 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Harry P., Severus S.
Mission: Kiss Me Deadly by DixieGoddess reviews
Iruka has been assigned a new mission involving the lips of several of the villages most elite jounin. Poor, shy 'Ruka! Kakairu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 65,828 - Reviews: 1173 - Favs: 848 - Follows: 1,092 - Updated: 5/28/2013 - Published: 5/14/2006 - Iruka U., Kakashi H.
The Paradigm Alteration by FireTigerSoul reviews
After a slight head injury, Penny comes to realize how much the boys care for her well-being. She also realizes a certain someone might care more than they let on...
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 59,419 - Reviews: 1031 - Favs: 1,030 - Follows: 1,332 - Updated: 9/7/2011 - Published: 8/25/2010 - Sheldon C., Penny
Sheldon's girlfriend by Trbl reviews
Follows "Sheldon's plan." Rated M for later chapters. Shenny.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 31,454 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 662 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 1/25/2011 - Published: 11/27/2010 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
The Thing about Chocolate by TempestJo reviews
Sheldon and Penny are making chocolate covered cherries when education gets interesting... Dedicated to Medusa.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 27 - Published: 1/24/2011 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
Sheldon's plan by Trbl reviews
Follows "Sheldon's list." Shenny.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,502 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 223 - Follows: 33 - Published: 11/26/2010 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
Sheldon's list by Trbl reviews
Follow up to "Sheldon's sick". Easing into the Shenny.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,703 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 27 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
Sheldon's sick by Trbl reviews
If only Penny had remembered what "Code Milky-Green" meant. Pre-Shenny
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,032 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 33 - Published: 11/18/2010 - Penny, Sheldon C. - Complete
It Was All Hestia Jones' Fault by themaltesefalcon reviews
Hestia Jones accuses Tonks of not being able to get a man. Molly Weasley helps Tonks prove Hestia wrong. My other story, "A Love Story?" has Severus's POV.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,309 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 6/24/2010 - Severus S., N. Tonks - Complete
Geneva, Je, T'aime by Lady Medusa Formalization reviews
Sheldon and Penny finally get their chance to see the Hadron Collider and each other as well.
Big Bang Theory - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,295 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 41 - Published: 11/12/2010 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
The Mysterious Ticking Noise My Version by meeplesforthewin reviews
Uhhh... Snape, Dumbledore, Ron, Hermione, and Harry are in Snape's office... and they sing a song... and then guess who comes along? ONESHOT. Um. I don't own Harry Potter, or the Potter Puppet Pals...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 446 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/8/2010 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
It's Complicated by lil-anonymous-girl reviews
Steve and Danno are married. Kind of. In which there are speculations as to the marital status of Steve and Danny that they deny but are unhelpfully contributing to.
Hawaii Five-0 - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,230 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 625 - Follows: 51 - Published: 10/18/2010 - Steve M., Danny W. - Complete
The Death Star: An Imperial Workplace by Mr. Chaos reviews
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND! It's not all Tie Fighters and force chokes. Most days just see the Emperor trying to manage goofoff Piett, plain jane Asajj, new temp Kurt the Bothan and Darth Vader, the Assistant to the Emperor. The Office parody. Don't own squat
Crossover - Star Wars & Office - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 72,666 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 1/7/2008 - E. Palpatine
Truth or Dare? by TheFatalIllusion reviews
When unusual circumstances leave the Dark Lord, Lucius and Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and finally Harry Potter trapped together, unable to use their magic, what will happen when Harry suggests the innocent game of Truth or Dare?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 85,819 - Reviews: 852 - Favs: 1,990 - Follows: 590 - Updated: 7/22/2010 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
An Idle Mind Is The Devil's Playground by night flame miko reviews
A bored Harry Potter is never a good thing. Dumbledore told him he couldn't write to friends, so what about enemies? Watch as because of this, things change and truths come to 'light' or 'dark' as the case may be . warning: Slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 33,289 - Reviews: 2714 - Favs: 4,057 - Follows: 4,545 - Updated: 7/16/2010 - Published: 1/14/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort
The Power of Music by Corpium reviews
With the power of music, Harry finally learns how to keep Voldemort out of his mind without silly Occlumency. Even better, he learns how to annoy the Dark Lord at the same time. Reasonable Crack. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,772 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 276 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 7/17/2009 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Poison Pen by GenkaiFan reviews
Harry has had enough of seeing his reputation shredded in the Daily Prophet and decides to do something about it. Only he decides to embrace his Slytherin side to rectify matters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 74,506 - Reviews: 8193 - Favs: 15,529 - Follows: 6,558 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Just Being Neighborly by mypseudonym reviews
Several years after graduation, Hermione has a stable life- a great boyfriend, a great job, and a brand new house. Little does she know how things will be shaken up. HG/RW, then HG/SS
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 41,037 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 8/3/2009 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Vibrator, the Witch and the Painting by sylvanawood reviews
Are there sex toys in the wizarding world? A bushy-haired witch is determined to find out. And what do the paintings have to do with it? SS/HG
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 22,140 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 10/2/2008 - Published: 9/16/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Bow or Break by Laume reviews
Rewritten plot bunny from storage. Snape is de-aged and has to spend the summer with his worst enemies. All does not go well. Does it ever?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,936 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 392 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 7/23/2008 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
An Alternate Epilogue by Snarry4ever reviews
How I wish the books could have ended. Totally AU. HPSS slash. Oneshot. Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters contained in this story. They belong to J.K. Rowling. Unfortunately.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 507 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Tropical Paradise by amburnikole reviews
Answer to WIKTT Beach Challenge...Herm and Snape get stuck in a tropical paradise...Read and Review PLZ!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,769 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/5/2008 - Published: 5/21/2004 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Blind Dates by KafkaExMachina reviews
Not content with the damage done by breeding, Narcissa takes up the loathsome hobby of middle-aged mothers everywhere: Meddling. Severus-centric 'romantic' comedy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,755 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/12/2008 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Abandon Ship by Semika reviews
Ickle Harry is all grown up and Dumbledore's failed to noticed. Tired of being manipulated, Harry ditches the light side to begin his own, new side of the war. This is not a soap opera! Sort of Dark!Harry. Slash! Harry/Dean
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 81,091 - Reviews: 553 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 536 - Updated: 3/30/2008 - Published: 9/21/2006 - Harry P., Albus D.
CSI Christmas Carols by cccahill18 reviews
Get into the holiday spirit with the CSI versions of your favorite Christmas tunes, sung by the CSI Christmas Choir!
CSI - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 3,017 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 11/23/2007 - Published: 12/9/2005
You May Kiss the Bride by Underlined Twice reviews
Hermione and Severus fight their way through the various milestones of married life. Sequential HGSS oneshots
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,086 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 8/16/2007 - Published: 4/11/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Click Click Clack Clack by lesyeuxverts reviews
Harry is trapped with Snape in a blizzard, hiding from Death Eaters. Snape makes a last attempt at teaching him Occlumency. Written for the prompt Snape and knitting.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,128 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/6/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Not Quite Seven Minutes in Heaven by BertaS reviews
Hermione and Severus get locked in a closet for Seven Minutes in Heaven. However things don’t work out quite like those that locked them in expect. Hopefully an interesting twist on the cliché stuck in a closet plot. one shot, AU, no spoilers
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,477 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/30/2007 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Dish, by Lavender Brown by LetMeTellYouAStory reviews
The Boy Who Lived to Love... Men' Lavender Brown is still gossiping, but now she has a column in 'Witch Weekly!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,546 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/5/2006 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
SAY WHAT! by MerlinHelpMe reviews
Marriage LAw, Adoption Law, and Severitus all tied into one. This is just a funny little thing that I couldn't get rid of. ONE SHOT. Hope you enjoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,646 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/9/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Oops by SilverWolf7007 reviews
When Harry says 'oops', things tend to explode. But not this time. No, this time...well. Something else happened.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 600 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 1,982 - Follows: 306 - Published: 11/2/2006 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
A Previous Engagment by rid.me.of.this.ennui reviews
Harry and Ron are going after Sanpe and they want Hermione's help... just some fluff that's been sitting on my harddrive.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 887 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Published: 7/7/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Say You Love Me! by Emperor's Sister reviews
The things a girl will do to hear those three little words.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 546 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/26/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Missed Me by Nix Wolfwood reviews
Being born into a large family, you'd think that I couldn't have any secrets. But that's not true. I do have one secret probably bigger than my family. But what can a girl do when her secret is about the one and only Professor Snape? [written before HPB]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,550 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/26/2006 - Ginny W., Severus S. - Complete
Outsmarted by PolarBear1200 reviews
Severus and Hermione are outsmarted by Ron. Unlikely I know But check it out. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 871 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 12 - Published: 4/26/2006 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Under The Mistletoe by AddisonRae reviews
Hermione finds herself stuck under enchanted mistletoe with none other than the dreaded Potions Master. Mistletoe Challenge on WIKTT CHAP ADDED
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,876 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 4/17/2006 - Published: 12/28/2003 - Severus S., Hermione G.
The Great Hogwarts Easter Egg Hunt by Jinxd n cursed reviews
Dumbledore is off his rocker and thinks an easter egg hunt is a swell idea. Slughorn has contributed a bottle of Felix. Hermione REALLY wants it. Enter Snape. Add in Amorentia, blackmail, and a Jew. response to WIKTT easter egg challenge
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,270 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/15/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
A Rude Awakening by tiddlywinks reviews
A humorous take on when girlfriend meets cat.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 900 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Published: 4/11/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Date by PolarBear1200 reviews
Hermione wants Severus's opinion on what she wants to wear on her date. One shot. Cute.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 633 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/8/2006 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
All The difference by AddisonRae reviews
Albus shows up at Hermione’s flat with an interesting offer. But one thing, or person, stands in her way. ONESHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 893 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/24/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Elixir of Everlasting Lemon Drops by thefinalfritter reviews
Why is Hermione so distracted at the Head Table? And just what exactly were she and Snape doing late last night? Short and sweet. Read and review!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 669 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/11/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Blackmail by Katrina Marie Lupin reviews
Among the many things Severus Snape is, one of them is a marvelous actor...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 428 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/8/2006 - Severus S., Bellatrix L. - Complete
The Calm Before the Storm by loralee1 reviews
AU Post Hogwarts, No HBP, Years after the defeat of Voldemort Snape feels a sense of foreboding. Is it a new dark lord rising or something more sinister? HarryHarem implied.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,287 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 2/6/2006 - Published: 1/29/2006 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Lightning Bolt and Serpent by loralee1 reviews
AU Post OotP No HBP impied evil Dumbledore. What happens when Harry can't take any more? He lashes out and someone who desperately deserves it gets hurt.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,622 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 106 - Published: 10/31/2005 - Harry P., Severus S.
Heroes Are All Wet by Droxy reviews
Complete. Answer to the Snape Saves The Day 100 word challenge on grangersnape100 live journal. Why is a soaking wet Professor Snape in the library looking for Hermione Granger?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 133 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/24/2005 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Bubblegum by BertaS reviews
Sometime classes aren't the only things that need to be passed. Kissing, multiple pairings
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,079 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/24/2005 - Complete
Between a Rock and a Hard Snape by BertaS reviews
Post Hogwart SSHG Short bit of heroic fluff
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,919 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/19/2005 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Distractions by RachL8 reviews
Severus is in the hospital wing, and in need of a little distraction ... COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,057 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 15 - Published: 5/14/2005 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Decisions by BertaS reviews
Based on the Marriage Law challenge. Hermione and others make thier own decisions for life, love, happines and family. First time author
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,640 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 11 - Published: 5/7/2005 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Closet by Fatinah reviews
Who would lock Hermione and Snape in a closet? And what ever would they talk about while in there? You'll have to read to find out.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,820 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 31 - Published: 2/10/2005 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Straight in a Gay Bar by CatC10 reviews
OOCnes! Humor, mostly, a What if? story about Severus working in a gay bar for fun in summer. Not meant to be taken seriously.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,920 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/7/2005 - Severus S. - Complete
Poppy Pomfrey rarely left Hogwarts by missparker85 reviews
Poppy Pomfrey rarely left Hogwarts but when she did, one or two students always fell ill. GWSS
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,801 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/2/2005 - Ginny W., Severus S. - Complete
My Advice to You by Blood of an Authoress reviews
Ron can't help but be tempted...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,489 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/2/2004 - Ron W., Severus S. - Complete
A Simple Suggestion by crazchica reviews
COMPLETE - Hermione pitches an idea to a reluctant Severus, but her motivations aren’t completely innocent. He IS a tall, dark, and brooding Potions Master, after all. Prequel to Painfully Obvious.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,067 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 10/6/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
A Little Shock by frk-werewolf reviews
a little shock after an eventful night. [warning: slash RonSeverus]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 879 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/31/2004 - Ron W., Severus S. - Complete
Potions for Dummies by Heroe reviews
Professor Severus Snape has a plan. A clever plan. Inspired by the WIKTT 'You Are Unbelievable' 100 word challenge. Crackfic. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 456 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/27/2004 - Complete
A Shock Induced Stupor by crazchica reviews
COMPLETE - Hermione admits her snog with Snape to a very disturbed set of friends. SequelCompanion Fic to 'Writer’s Block' but can stand on it’s own. Very Short.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 580 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 7/24/2004 - Hermione G. - Complete
Against All Better Judgment by enigmaticwriter reviews
These parties never go quite as planned. Response to the What Kind of Drunk Are You Challenge. COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,708 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/21/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Smiling by Willow Fireheart reviews
Severus Snape isn't happy, Ginny Weasley just won't stop smiling at him. [Completed]
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 561 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 19 - Published: 7/15/2004 - Severus S., Ginny W. - Complete
Painfully Obvious by crazchica reviews
COMPLETE - "Severus... I only thought that I was being painfully obvious during my last year." HGSS, Challenge Response
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 848 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/20/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Writer's Block by crazchica reviews
COMPLETE - Hermione and Snape's respective cures for writer's block turn out better than expected. HGSS, End of 7th year. Response to the WIKTT writer's block challenge.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,409 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/4/2003 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
What Do You Mean Neither? by Kouryou Sanomi reviews
Harry has an important cough sureitis cough question to ask Snape. How long will Snape hold out? [complete] [warning: Slash!]
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 796 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/7/2003 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
Spring Break by Gethsemane reviews
A Response to WIKTT's Beach Fic Challenge
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,229 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/6/2002 - Severus S., Hermione G.
Lifeguard Chair 3 by Autumnmist reviews
WIKTT Beach Challenge Entry. Autumnmist's insensible, completely OOC entry to her own challenge. (Rated PG-13 for some horny thoughts and vulgarity)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,945 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/12/2002 - Hermione G., Severus S.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Friends and Coupons reviews
I had to put it up again because a reviewer told me some things I did wrong with it like spelling and phraseing and that kinda thing, so yeah. Sev And Hermione's friends come over.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 382 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 9/30/2008 - Published: 10/12/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
A Little Biased reviews
Molly Weasley has just found out that her two youngest children are going out with men more than half thier age. This is how she reacts to all the news.I really couldn't help myself.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 582 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/30/2008 - Published: 4/4/2007 - Ginny W., Severus S. - Complete
We Didn't Win reviews
Harry didn't win the war. Then aqian no one really ever wins, do they?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 236 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Harry P., Ron W. - Complete
I think
I did it once I can do it again. Harry has been thinking and these are his thoughts.No slash though I really don't mind it at all
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
POTTER! reviews
Late at night there are things you can hear and see at Hogwarts that you couldn't any were else. No slash unfortunately
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 293 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Hermione G., Harry P. - Complete
Crazy Old Man reviews
This is all about what happens when a very hot man has to many Lemon Drops. It is AU and has mintions of slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,072 - Reviews: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/14/2007 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S.
The Battle of Peace reviews
This is one mans look on to the Battle of Peace. Have fun.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 336 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 12/29/2006 - Severus S. - Complete
What? reviews
BANG!BANG!BANG! You head slams down on the desk and you have a feelin it's just one of those days. Many have had a day such as this, but today it's Sevrus sSnape's turn.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 533 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/18/2006 - Albus D., Severus S. - Complete
The potions reviews
Harry's potion goe BOOM! Oh and lets all remember about Snapes Kinkey ways
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 539 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/9/2006 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
The Strangest Most Gruesome Thing reviews
This is more of a guy thing but hey who cares. WHat peoplewatchdamn.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 103 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/8/2006 - Severus S., Lucius M.
Phyco's Any One? reviews
This is so incredably stupid so don't take any thing serios. The teachers at Hogy Warty Hogwarts have to take a phyc test and things go wrong. PLease don't review and say this is stupid I know that already.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 967 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 10/13/2006 - Published: 10/12/2006 - Complete
The Five Realisations reviews
Five things you realize at a sertin point in your life. IT isn't mine and is AU like every single damn thing I put on here.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 172 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/24/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
How Did It End, Mum? reviews
AU like it would be anything else. Two people have a daughter and while her father is away on some trip she asks her mum about the last battle. Hope you like and review please.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,263 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 6/12/2006 - Hermione G., OC - Complete
Sev and Mi Were Snogging reviews
THis is just plane stupid and just there.SSHG and Fairies yay. Hope you read and Flame but reviews are okmto. I geuss.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 175 - Reviews: 12 - Updated: 6/4/2006 - Published: 5/12/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Strange Day Odd People reviews
AU. This has a total of four chapters. It's about a day as people veiw strange things.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 690 - Reviews: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/28/2006 - Published: 5/27/2006 - Severus S., Harry P. - Complete
The Pink Room of Doom reviews
Au as usual hehe. OK IT's St.Valentines day at old HOgwarts and the students and staff of the schoolare locked in to the GreatHall hopfully hilarity insues and you like it. HGSS I think
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,285 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/22/2006 - Published: 5/2/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Snow Hate it Love Love it Snow and Love It works reviews
sshg just barged in my head just do something for it I geuss. Little info on Poppy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 685 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/12/2006 - Severus S. - Complete
Is this Love reviews
This is a Duo SongFic. the first Chapter is by Loki and Demosthenes, the second is mine. His is a HpGw, no slash. Mine is, of course, SSHG. I hope you like, and please Read and Review.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,407 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 5/11/2006 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
On My Mind reviews
AU.Things on this girls mind. HErmione is thinking of future and past. She dosn't know what she wants to do in life but she's getting there oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 414 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5/5/2006 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
No Better or Father Figure reviews
OK, this is what Harry thinks of his dad, Snape, and Dumbledore. And remember this is from Harry's mind and about now it isn't to ordered. Oneshot no Pairing
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 380 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/2/2006 - Harry P. - Complete
I See It Now reviews
AU. This is a songfic please give it a chance it's real sweet I'm told. mintions RWHG is really a HGSS.rwhg sucks!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 596 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/25/2006 - Severus S., Hermione G. - Complete
Smile at Him reviews
AU. Sweet stupidity insues in the first chapter whitch should not be taken seriously. The second chapter is what you should read. TWOSHOT
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 347 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/7/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
One Letter reviews
AU. Stupidity all around. This should not be taken seriously in fact many people includeing my self wish it to burn.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 380 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/26/2006 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete