Euterpe's Bard
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Joined 01-22-06, id: 975783, Profile Updated: 12-22-09
Author has written 4 stories for Phantom of the Opera, Greek Mythology, and Troy.

Howdy and welcome to my homepage! I'm Euterpe's Bard (prizes to whoever can figure out who Euterpe is), formerly known as The Bard of Music, formerly known as music phantom, but for all intents and purposes you can call me Bob (not my real name, but still...). I've got six stories up so far; A Walk With Giants (Troy), A Daughter and a Soldier (Troy), Gods and Mortals (Greek Mythology), How to Annoy the Phantom (Phantom of the Opera), Pals (Young Guns), and The Meaning of Necessary which is my sequal to Pals. I'm currently dividing my time between Necessary and Daughter, but once I've finished them, I'll be getting back to Gods and Mortals. There's a brief synopsis of each at the bottom.

As far as just general me goes...

-I live, eat, and breath anything that has to do with music, theater, reading/writing, or archaeology (yes, yes, it's a bit of a weird combination, don't bug me.)

-My religious beliefs are complicated. For a brief explanation I'll say I'm an atheist, but that's not entirely accurate. If you'd like a longer explanation, I'll give it.

-My favorite books/authors include, but are not limited to: To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling, anything by Shakespeare with the exception of Romeo and Juliet (it's not that it's a bad play, they're just idiots), Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Elizabeth Peters, any type of mythology, and lots of others that aren't coming to mind right now.

-My favorite movies are: The Phantom of the Opera (the musical version from 2004), Young Guns (mostly just the first one), the Bourne series, To Catch a Thief (with Grace Kelly and Cary Grant), A League of Their Own, Remember the Titans, Troy, V for Vendetta, Hellboy, Indiana Jones, and pretty much anything made by Monty Python or the Marx Brothers.

-I don't really watch a lot of tv, but when I do I like: Mythbusters, History's Mysteries, Ancient Discoveries, That 70's Show, South Park, House, Scrubs, a good baseball game, and other things that I can't think of.

Some of my favorite quotes are:

"This above all: to thine ownself be true and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst then be false to any man." - Hamlet, Act I Scene iii

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow creeps in this petty place from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time; and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death." - Macbeth, Act V Scene v

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." - Jimi Hendrix

"All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song." - Louis Armstrong

"People should not be afraid of their government; government should be afraid of its people." V, V for Vendetta

"Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an idea...And ideas are bulletproof." V, V for Vendetta

"We are told to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can be caught. He can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world." - Evey, V for Vendetta

"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us. But within that inch we are free." - Valerie, V for Vendetta

"Think no longer that you are in command here, but think how, rather, when you were, you served your own destruction." - Creon, Oedipus Rex

Trask: Mr. Sims, you are a cover-up artist and you are a liar.
Slade: But not a snitch!
Trask: Excuse me?
Slade: No, I don't think I will. This is such a crock of shit.
Trask: Mr. Slade, you will watch your language. You are at the Baird School now, not a barracks. Mr. Sims, I will give you one final opportunity to speak up.
Slade: Mr. Sims doesn't want it. He doesn't need to labeled, "...still worthy of being a 'Baird Man.'" What the hell is that? What is your motto here? "Boys, inform on your classmates, save your hide. Anything short of that we're gonna burn you at the stake?" Well, gentlemen. When the shit hits the fan, some guys run and some guys stay. Here's Charlie--facing the fire, and there's George--hiding in big Daddy's pocket. And what are you doin'? You're gonna reward George, and destroy Charlie.
Trask: Are you finished, Mr. Slade?
Slade: No, I'm just gettin' warmed up. Now I don't know who went to this place--William Howard Taft, William Jennings Bryan, William Tell--whoever. Their spirit is dead; if they ever had one, it's gone. You're building a rat ship here. A vessel for sea going snitches. And if you think you're preparing these minnows, for manhood you better think again. Because I say you are killing the very spirit this institution proclaims it instills. What a sham! What kind of show you guys puttin' on here today? I mean, the only class in this act is sittin' next to me. And I say, this boy's soul is intact. It's non-negotiable. You know how I know? Because someone here--I'm not gonna say who--offered to buy it. Only Charlie here wasn't selling.
Trask: Sir, you are out of order!
Slade: Out of order, I'll show you out of order! You don't know what out of order is, Mr.Trask! I'd show you but I'm too old, I'm too tired, and I'm too fuckin' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago I'd take a flame-thrower to this place!! Out of order, who the hell do you think you're talking to? I've been around, you know? There was a time I could see. And I have seen, boys like these, younger than these, their arms torn out, their legs ripped off. But there is nothin' like the sight of an amputated spirit, there is no prosthetic for that. You think you're merely sending this splendid foot-soldier back home to Oregon with his tail between his legs, but I say that you are executing his soul! And why? Because he's not a Baird man. Baird men, you hurt this boy, you're going to be Baird Bums, the lot of ya. And Harry, Jimmy, Trent, wherever you are out there, fuck you too.
Trask: Stand down Mr. Slade!
Slade: I'm not finished! Now as I came in here, I heard those words...cradle of leadership. Well, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And it has fallen here, it has fallen! Makers of men, creators of leaders, be careful what kind of leaders you're producing here. I don't know if Charlie's silence here today is right or wrong; I'm no judge or jury. But I can tell you this: he won't sell anybody out to buy his future! And that my friends is called integrity, that's called courage. Now that's the stuff leaders should be made of. Now I have come to the crossroads in my life. I always knew what the right path was. Without exception, I knew. But I never took it, you know why? It was too damn hard. Now here's Charlie; he's come to the crossroads. He has chosen a path, it's the right path. It's a path made of principle, that leads to character. Let him continue on his journey. You hold this boy's future in your hands, committee! It's a valuable future. Believe me! Don't destroy...protect it...embrace it. It's gonna make you proud some day...I promise you.
- Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade, Scent of a Woman

Marcus: What is it with this "Junior?"
Jones Sr.: That's his name; Henry Jones Junior.
Indy: I prefer Indiana.
Jones Sr.: We named the dog Indiana!
- Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

How to Annoy the Phantom

Pretty much self-explanitory. Just a list me and my friend wrote once about all the things you could do to Erik that would piss him off/get you killed. I thought it was funny.

A Walk With Giants

A oneshot conversation between Achilles and Hector in the Underworld. My attempt at the two of them having a deep conversation. Patroclus isn't included because my other Troy fanfic has him and...well I won't give anything away, but...well I guess I just did...

A Daughter and a Soldier

Myla lives with her uncle and cousins in a farm outside the city of Troy. Before the war starts she joins the Daughters of Troy, a secret society of warrior women who dress up as men and fight whenever the need arises. She participates in the first battle of the war and is captured while trying to rescue Briseis. When everyone finds out she's a woman Agamemnon "gives" her to Patroclus, who of course has no intentions of doing anything Agamemnon thought he would. The two become good friends and are both forced to confront the realities of the lives they have chosen.

Gods and Mortals

An interaction that I made up between the goddess Artemis and a mortal named Lyceron. Artemis gets fed up with the Olympians fighting all the time, so one day she goes down to Earth to get away from it all. While down there she meets Lyceron, who is trying to escape his two older twin brothers who like to abuse him in unpleasantly creative ways. The two become good friends, and possibly something more...I haven't really decided yet.


Lupin Nygrinka and Jamie Kerrigan are best friends and surrogate sisters who have been living on their own in the wild since the murders of their parents eleven years ago. They meet John Tunstall and the Lincoln County Regulators after saving Chavez from some Murphy men one day, and they end up living with them for four months before John's murder and the ensuing war. Friendship, betrayal, and romance follow. I'll be writing a sequal once I finish with this one that tells about the time in between the first and second movies and during the second.

The Meaning of Necessary

Sequal to Pals. Jamie and Billy are wandering New Mexico, while Lupin and Chavez are working at a fruit ranch in California. Eventually they meet up again, and the events of the second movie unfold with some obvious differences. Covers events between the first and second movie and during the second.

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Hell Bent for Leather by EmiliosLoofah reviews
Volume 2 of Promises and Dreams. This is the continuing adventure of Jessica Tunstall and Billy the Kid! Please read and review! Thanks!
Young Guns - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 50,954 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 2/17/2016 - Published: 11/9/2005
Dammit Jim ! by ChildOfFury93 reviews
The Enterprise crew heads home for leave. Kirk accompanies Bones back to the Southland. What will happen? JimXOC
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,048 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 12/22/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones
The Case of the Vindictive Spirit by reflekshun reviews
Is an ancient spirit bent on revenge responsible for murder?
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 19,012 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/19/2010 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson - Complete
The Comedy of Romeo and Juliet by avesjohn reviews
He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?
Shakespeare - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 25 - Words: 55,451 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 5/13/2007 - Complete
Your Favorite Novels CONDENSED! by Merry.Murderess reviews
Don't have time to actually read books? From classics to modern favorites, get the gist of even the lengthiest novels in under a minute! Book/play suggestions welcome.
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 3,715 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/3/2010 - Published: 8/26/2008
101 Things I've Never Done by PropernameSurname reviews
I’m dreaming again. I know I am, but I can’t do a thing about it...'Chapter 16 up. Rating changed to T because the story is becoming slightly heavy in parts.
Bourne series - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 23,786 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/28/2010 - Published: 4/22/2008
Murderous Molly the Regulator by AsLightAsAHeather reviews
Molly is all alone in this world other than her close friend Chavez. All the things she loves are taken from her and now she might lose Chavez forever if she doesn't learn to release her emotions. Very in depth. Murder, passion, and betrayal.
Young Guns - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 28,776 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/9/2009 - Published: 6/6/2007
Cleopatra, Ophelia and Juliet Walk into a Bar by L. Harris reviews
A one-shot conversation between three of the tragic ladies. A "defense" of their characters, if you please, in which the ladies discuss love, loyalty and the men in their lives. Humorous to write, even funnier to read aloud. Enjoy!
Shakespeare - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 799 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/7/2008 - Complete
Dead Men Don't Bite by Leioa15 reviews
Patroclus' story. Patroclus lives and is taken prisoner. Events are pretty much the same, but the story is focused on Patroclus-he eventually finds love, yadda yadda etc. Better summary at beggining. Savvny n sorry! (Title is subject to change now)
Troy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 25,389 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/16/2008 - Published: 7/20/2004
The Raven Parody by twin1313 reviews
If Edger Allen Poe was around in the 21st century.
Edgar Allan Poe - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 439 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Complete
Magician Well Met by Smaug the Writing Dragon reviews
“Always will never be long enough, Monsieur Angier. Do not let her go.” A Phantom of the OperaThe Prestige crossover oneshot. Sneaky, cryptic Erik within...
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,334 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/2/2008 - Erik - Complete
The Intruder by The Grammarian reviews
A Lerouxbased tale. What is the fate of the new occupant of Christine's dressing room? A wisp of smoke from the candle climbed to the ceiling and the light from the hallway illuminated the jagged, broken shards of the little mirror, fallen to the floor.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,638 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/7/2006 - Published: 3/18/2006
Splendid, More or Less by nefret24 reviews
CHAPTER 5 UP! Amelia Peabody Series Filler for Crocodile on the Sandbank- what happens between proposal and pregnancy? Amelia deals with the aftermath of the attack... Please rr.
Misc. Books - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,635 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/13/2003 - Published: 10/22/2002
Cobra by SaladDays reviews
A brief scene from Elizabeth Peters's first Amelia Peabody mystery, Crocodile on the Sandbank, from Emerson's POV. Dull title, but if you've read the book you at least know the scene I mean.
Misc. Books - Rated: K - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,747 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/23/2003
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

A Daughter and a Soldier reviews
Myla joins the Daughters of Troy, a secret society of warrior women dedicated to protecting their homeland, before the Trojan War. When she is taken as a prisoner of war and "given" to Patroclus, she starts to question her choices. P/OC, rated for safety.
Troy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,020 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 1/10/2009
A Walk With Giants reviews
Oneshot. Achilles is dead and goes to the Underworld, where he takes a walk with Hector. My attempt at them having a deep conversation.
Troy - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,083 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Complete
Gods and Mortals reviews
Yeah yeah, the title sucks. Artemis is sick of the Olympians fighting all the time. Lyceron is sick of his brothers picking on him. Wierdness ensues. Possible Artemis/Lyceron stuff. Rating for language.
Greek Mythology - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,666 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/12/2008
How to Annoy the Phantom reviews
50 possible ways to annoy the Phantom. Or get killed. Either way, enjoy.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 469 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Complete